Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 5.5.2022

IMPACT decides to take a more extreme attitude to today’s episode. An opening Tables match and a main event Monster’s Ball match. This is a rarity on TV, with the last one being Kongo Kong vs Abyss in 2018. Only the 12th Monsters Ball on IMPACT!, out of the now 54 in history.

So there we go, some edgy hardcore matches to bookend the show, but there’s one more notable match. Rocky Romero gets his shot at the X Division title since he told Ace he’d talk to NJPW about getting him into the BOSJ to return the favor. Two hardcore matches, one title match and some amount of usual IMPACT shenanigans. Should be a good show!

2 Days until The Briscoes VS VBD for the @IMPACTWRESTLING World Tag Team Championships!@SussexCoChicken @jaybriscoe84 @CodyDeaner @bigjoedoering @TheEricYoung #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/3SjQCEEtE3

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) May 6, 2022

Ratings:

• Tables Match: Massive Cassidy vs Brian Myers: The Massive One wins via BQE through Table – ***
• X Division Championship: Rocky Romero vs Ace Austin (c): Ace retains via The Fold – *** 1/4
• Masha Slammovich vs Damaris: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – N/A
• Bullet Club (Jay White & Chris Bey) vs Willie Mack & Rich Swann: Bey wins via Art of Finesse – ***
• Steve Maclin vs Tomohiro Ishii: Ishii wins via Vertical Drop Brainbuster – *** 1/4
• Monster’s Ball: Jonah vs PCO: PCO wins via PCO-sault – *** 3/4

Results:

Tables Match: Massive Cassidy vs Brian Myers

Match opens with a hockey fight where Cassidy drives Myers into the corner and overpowers him with ease and a small Matt Morgan reference. Cass goes to the outside to try and go for a table and a quick win, but Myers gives it the old college try dive to the outside. It stalls the big man, but Morrissey keeps control over his My Size Myers. Side Slam into the apron, and back to finding a table…where Myers picks his spot and tries to be opportunistic.

Myers finishes the set up, Big Boot sends Myers reeling, set up for the BQE aiming for the table…but Myers flips out and runs back into the ring. Cass almost gets Stun Gunned back through the table, but catches himself and Myers suplexes Cass back…into the ring? Okay, not super smart, Myers runs his mouth, eats another Big Boot, BQE set up again, but Cardona hits, tips over the table and starts the 2v1.

Are we gonna see Jordynne Grace? The giant overcome? nZo? So far Cass powers up and starts with the Stinger Splashes on both men, Double Chokeslam, and then Chelsea shows up with the digital media title. Cass catches her before she swings, looks to BQE her again, but the Toy Monkies attack. Three on one, Myers pulls out some swag, they pull out some action figures, aim for the Apron Tandem Powerbomb, but Cass shrugs all three off.

They pin him against the post cause Chelsea grabs his hair, they try to run the table through him. Big man moves, they break the table, he comes back and Cardona tries to run but Jordynne finally shows up. Another table in the corner after Grace Spinebuster’s Cardona…and it looks like Grace wants to Powerbomb Cardona through…OH tandem move. Grace has Cardona in Powerbomb Position and Cass hits the Big Boot driving Cardona through the table. Then Jordynne chases off Chelsea.

Myers takes pieces of a broken table and starts beating on Cass. Roster Cut attempt, turned into a Black Hole Slam and a small Abyss reference. Cass BQE’s Myers from the middle of the ring, through the table placed at the foot of the ramp. Who wants to see a dead body?

Overbooked, but entertaining. 

.@GottaGetSwann is ready for a fight! Did @TheMattCardona and the Digital Media Championship just walk into his path!?#IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/WIz8y2OqgL

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) May 6, 2022

X Division Championship: Rocky Romero vs Ace Austin (c)

So anyone that saw the BOSJ announcement a few days ago knows the Ace Austin was declared as an entrant. So Rocky “made good” on his offer, so now Ace is more than happy to put his title on the line.

A quick exchange ends up with Rocky in charge after a Low Dropkick and the little Eddie Guerrero shoulder shake. Ace rolls through the next move, Drop Toe Hold, a little smack talk and it looks like Ace is trying to hit a Fighting Spirit spot, Rocky feigns winding up a punch and pokes Ace in the eye. Forever Lariats, get countered and after the commercial, Ace is still in control

Rocky puts the breaks on the Irish Whip, so Ace tries to soften him up a bit more, but Rocky reverses. Ace powders and Rocky just Dive after him, catching Ace looking over his shoulder, so the move looks really good. Little back and forth until Ace hits the apron and plays oki-doke with Rocky, hits a nice Soccer Ball Kick and Rocky is laid out for a bit.

Ace waits cockily for Rocky, Rocky gets to the apron, Low Bridges Ace, Frakensteiner from the apron isn’t totally smooth but mostly effective. Tornado DDT from Rocky back in the ring, 2 count. Standing Shiranui, near fall. Rocky looks to hit his half of Strong Zero, but Ace dodges. Ace thinks he catches Rocky with a kick, but Rocky rolls through and cinches in the Boston Crab.

Quick combination punctuates with a nice Spinning Roundhouse Kick rocks Rocky, sets up The Fold, hits it and retains!

Trey hits the ring after and comes in to no applause, no one cares because Trey is awful and him attacking Ace makes no sense. Ace didn’t cheat to win in the Triple Threat, they have a personal issue sure, but this could be a double turn. Ace losing Madman and making good on his defense offer is kinda Babyface-ish. 

Coming Soon….#IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/8WuZsV2ASE

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) May 6, 2022

Did that have 5/7/22 in between the normal letters? Does the coming soon show up at Under Siege?

Masha Slammovich vs Damaris

Masha is gonna kill another person. Masha lets Damaris punch her, grabs her into a Short Arm transition into Belly to Belly. Russian Death Device…and we’re done.

Bullet Club (Jay White & Chris Bey) vs Willie Mack & Rich Swann

Rich and Jay kick things off, this would be a solid singles match so seeing them tie up in tag action is a nice taste. Jay drives Rich into the corner, lays in so punches before the ref pulls him out. Rich takes advantage of the breather and uses his athleticism to get over on Jay. Willie gets tagged in, tandem Flapjack/Bulldog for a near fall. A little more offense from Willie and then Rich is back in.

Jay is getting picked apart a little before Jay reverses the whip and Bey manages to get a knee into the kidneys. A little illegal attacking from Bey since the ref is distracted makes is starting to even things up and give Jay a chance to breathe. Quick near fall, Jay tags in Bey, near fall attempt, dumps Willie, distracts the ref and this becomes a gimmick for a few exchanges.

Rich finally gets the best of Bey as it turns into a scramble to keep Swann away from Willie. Jay eventually cold cock Willie and Swann continues to fend off offense, but he needs to tag out. Willie finally gets tagged in, takes the hot action against Bey, Jay stops the momentum. Bullet Club tries the tandem attack, but Willie counters the attempt. Samoan Drop, Bread and Butter with Swann adding a Standing Splash in between. Willie looks to end things but Jay hits a DDT, Swann gets involved to lay things out. Mack starts taking control again, attempts the Andrew Bynum, but Jay stops him in the Half Nelson Suplex and snaps it off. Art of Finesse from Bey, Jay forces Rich to watch and Bey gets the pinfall over Willie.

Honor No More hits the ring as Maria skips down. After some old ROH talent with the 5 on 2, Guns and Gallows hit the ring for the save, BC stand tall afterwards.

Steve Maclin vs Tomohiro Ishii

So Maclin is…always mad at someone or something. Now he’s salty that Ishii was D’Amore’s choice for the title match and not Maclin. Now we get to see the Stone Pitbull eat some big bombs, but eventually drop Maclin on his head…most likely.

Match starts with the rope run shoulder tackles into throwing forearm shots. Typical tough guy stuff, you know? Maclin wins the exchange and tries the Shoulder Tackle again, but Ishii absorbs, goes back into the ropes and knocks down Maclin. Maclin tries something off the ropes again but Ishii turns it into a Power Slam and Maclin powders before the commercial.

After the break, they are punching each other again. Maclin with a big Uranage to stop the flurry of blow and finally give Maclin a shot at taking over the pace. Methodical strikes at the back and kidneys from Maclin keeps Ishii writhing on the ground. Ishii tries to fire back with Chops, but a back elbow gives Maclin the advantage again. A little bit of a Kneeling Chin Lock forces Ishii to get to the ropes, Belly to Belly from Maclin and a near fall.

Ishii keeps trying to fight through but Maclin counters, it’s not until Maclin goes for a big Lariat that Ishii ducks and turns it into a Backdrop. Ishii sticks with the more traditional chops in the corner, not the Tenryu combination. Maclin is looking for air, but Ishii keeps knocking him down, Ishii tries to grab him, Maclin counters and hits an Olympic Slam into a Boston Crab. Ishii pushes up in the submission, a submission all Japanese wrestlers know well, and Ishii gets to the ropes.

Maclin looks for the German Suplex, Ishii counters with elbows, tries to wrap around but Maclin his an elbow as well. Ishii absorbs the tackle, and clubs back. Ishii looks for a Lariat, Maclin counters, Ishii tries the Enzuigiri and misses. Maclin has a chance for Mayhem for All, Ishii says no, finally hits the Running Lariat, then the Vertical Drop Brainbuster for the win!

What is going on here?!@ZickyDice @swinger_johnny
#IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/HO0k2plBii

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) May 6, 2022

Monster’s Ball: Jonah vs PCO

They start the match in the backstage area as Jonah is let out first so he finds PCO and attacks him. Fighting continues up the steps as Brian Hebner reminds them the finish has to be in the ring and to head that way.

This is jut a brawl so far, PCO tries to Chokeslam Jonah off the stage, but Jonah blocks it. The crowd chants “he’s not human”. So them, much like myself, are hoping PCO finally gets a win in this feud. We go to the commercial and when it returns, the ring is filled with an assortment of metal objects.

PCO suplexes Jonah through chairs to cheers from the crowd, more slugging and brawling until Jonah lays out PCO in a few chairs and then just throws his body into the French Canadian Frankenstein to a few audible boos. “He’s not human” chant fires up after Jonah drops PCO neck first into a ladder in the corner. Jonah looks for more weaponry, and the crowd isn’t great, but they are definitely all in PCO’s corner. “Boo/Yay” during strikes with they yays for PCO. The match teases Jonah through the table, but he headbutts PCO and gets back in the ring. DDT from PCO through a garbage can, but Jonah powders. PCO doesn’t care, Diving Senton as we stays on the attack.

Sets up Jonah for the Deanimator and hits it! Middle Rope Guillotine Leg Drop, kick out at 2 from Jonah! PCO wedges a chair in the corner, drives Jonah’s head into it. PCO has had more offense than he’s ever had in this feud so far. Sets up some chairs Eddie Kingston style with the backs of the chairs as the aim. Jonah counters and throws PCO into the backs of 4 chairs! No one wants Jonah to win.

Jonah grabs a bag of thumbtacks and Powerbombs PCO into the tacks. Looking for Tsunami, but PCO starts moving early. Catches Jonah with uppercuts, tries to smack him with a Sledgehammer, but Jonah blocks. Attempts a Suplex to the outside, PCO counters, hits Jonah with the Sledgehammer and Jonah goes through the old table. PCO-sault gives PCO the WIN! It’s about damn time!

Overall Score: 7.75/10

With Under Siege two days away, IMPACT continues to prove they are the best company at short programs to get to PPVs. Everything feels pretty fresh, makes enough sense, we see the Jonah/PCO feud take a different turn, we might be solidifying a double turn with Ace and Trey. We’ll also find out who the Coming Soon vignette is and probably watch Ishii lose his bid at the title, but it should still be a damn good match.

HNM and BC is a solid rivalry with enough members, threads and moving pieces to be interesting for a few months. The Briscoes could make a huge splash if they beat VBD. Yeah this did a great job to create some more excitement for the coming PPV.

Also makes you wonder where does Moose go moving into Slammiversary and Massive Cassidy should be mostly done with the action figure dorks, so his new angle should be fun. Lots of good stuff for Under Siege and Slammiversary.