Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 3.16.2023

Sufficed to say, No Surrender and the lead up exhausted my tolerance for IMPACT. That coupled with the brain damaged Busted Open Radio segment, I really couldn’t have cared less about the product. So I removed myself from it for a few weeks hoping I can come back to it a little refreshed and less annoyed.

There’s been title changes, twists and turns with Eddie Edwards and apparently Deonna Purrazzo might be in the midst of a face turn. These are all solid things, hopefully I don’t hate everything though.

"Death Dollz ASSEMBLE!!!!"@WeAreRosemary @thetayavalkyrie @FearHavok #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/xNximXcxAP

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 17, 2023

Ratings:

• Mike Bailey & Jonathan Gresham vs Crazzy Steve & Black Taurus: Bailey wins via Ultima Weapon -***
• Steve Maclin vs Heath: Maclin wins via K.I.A. – ** 1/2
• Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Jai Vidal w/Savannah Evans & Gisele Shaw: Vidal wins via Running Knee – *
• Knockouts Tag Team Titles: The Coven (Taylor Wilde & KiLynn King) vs Death Dollz (Taya Valkyrie & Rosemary w/JesSICKa) (c): King wins via Reverse Powerslam – ** 3/4 – TITLE CHANGE!!!
• Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian & Rich Swann vs Bullet Club (KENTA, Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Bullet Club wins via ABC 1-2-SWEET – *** 1/4

Results:

Mike Bailey & Jonathan Gresham vs Crazzy Steve & Black Taurus

Gresham has Steve pushed against the ropes early, and just when we expect the typical kind of boring start, Steve bites Gresham, Bailey tries to break it up but Taurus throws him out. A WAZZUP inspired tandem move, but it’s a Dropkick from Taurus instead of the Headbutt. Gresham tries to fight both men off, Taurus accidentally clocks Steve which gives enough of an opening for Gresham to tag in Bailey. A few quick kicks and the Running Shooting Star Press for 2. Buzzsaw Kick attempt, but Steve catches his foot and bites his toes. A quick flurry from both leads to the fall down and crawl to your tag partner spot.

Taurus is in first, he drops Gresham off the apron, Torture Rack flip into a Backbreaker from Taurus then the Pop-Up Samoan Drop. Gresham protects Bailey, Moonsault from both on the two Decay members. Buzzsaw Kick for only a 1, Gresham hits him with the Sliding D, but Steve pushes Gresham onto the pinfall pile. Tornado Kick corner spot from Bailey, Ultima Weapon for the victory.

It wasn’t a long match, but they fit in a lot of fun spots, hard hitting action and damn good execution. 

.@swinger_johnny has no idea @TheJaiVidal is a wrestler… @GiseleShaw08 @SavannahEvansNV #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/sV4SETxkVn

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 17, 2023

Steve Maclin vs Heath

So I have never been a huge fan of Heath, but he has been able to put together some solid work in IMPACT. I’m never gonna have any faith in him winning matches that matter, but he’s at least proven to be a better wrestler than WWE allowed him to show.

A few trade spots, then Heath telegraphs the Back Body Drop and Maclin hits him with a Facebreaker combination before Heath dumps him over the top rope and we head to commercial. We come back and Maclin was in charge, but Heath fights back, nearly throws a few things together but he misses the big Lariat and then gets caught with Back Breaker counter.

Combination punches, Knee Lift, Power Slam for 2 from Heath. Maclin tries to counter but eats a Spinebuster and another 2 count. Heath tries a Wake Up Call, but Maclin throws him into the corner, Tree of Woe, Caught in the Crosshairs, K.I.A. – Maclin wins.

HE'S ALIVE! @PCOisNotHuman is in VEGAS! #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/Q32lO5gPTt

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 17, 2023

Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Jai Vidal w/Savannah Evans & Gisele Shaw

Swinger tries to start off with the old school test of strength, but Jai just Dropkicks him, Atomic Drop, his own version of a People’s Elbow, and then starts working Swinger over in the corner. Swinger yells at Zicky asking him why he never said the kid could go, but as Zicky gets kicked; Swinger actually takes advantage of things.

A rope choke and a slingshot into the Camel Clutch, but Savannah pulls him out and then they get kicked out for all of the obvious interference. Gisele is arguing with the ref and Deonna blind sides her from the entrance. Deonna looks like a great Mob Wife. Jai hits a Flying Knee and puts down Swinger.

Eddie comes down to the ring, still using the Honor No More music. He claims he’s finally got his past behind him, even though we’ve seen PCO walking to the building the whole time. Kenny King goes full Casey Jones and clocks PCO with a hockey stick. Superkicks and steel chairs try to keep the French Canadian Frankenstein down, but he keeps getting back up. 

They try to pin him against the post with the ring stairs, but PCO erupts out and attacks. Kenny the Kendo stick rocks PCO, and Kenny King with a Blockbuster, Boston Knee Chairshot. Kendo Stick shot on the chair against PCO’s head and both Eddie and King think its over. 

.@DirtyDangoCurty believes in @joehendry! @milanmiracle @WWEKozlov #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/NAK9R9a0KE

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 17, 2023

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: The Coven (Taylor Wilde & KiLynn King) vs Death Dollz (Taya Valkyrie & Rosemary w/JesSICKa) (c)

KiLynn and Taya start, and Taya has a few issues with the Short Arm Knockdown + Kip Ups spot. Its not too bad looking, just obviously a little wrong. The gorgeous witch comes in to face the demon, and Rosemary tries to bite off Taylor’s face, both partners come in, Coven gets dumped out and we go to commercial. After the break KiLynn is in full mount raining down fists on Rosemary.

Taylor uses the ropes for her new cute Draping Leg Choke before the referee makes her break the move. After Rosemary counters a few corner charges, Rosemary hits the Upside Down for her own illegal choke move. KiLynn tried to stop Rosemary’s tag, but nope. Taya starts womanhandling KiLynn and Blue Thunder Bomb for 2. Taya with the Hip Attack Face Wash, then the Seeing Shadows Knees…for another 2 count. Taya tries to charge at KiLynn, but dodge and Taylor manages to use the ropes for hit Taya. All four women are in, Taylor and Rosemary neutralize one another, big kick from Taylor leads to KiLynn hitting a Reverse Powerslam for the win!

A little sloppy at times, but generally fun and a decent first showing for this new dark magic faction. 

Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian & Rich Swann vs Bullet Club (KENTA, Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

Kaz and Bey start off, and early on its more of a test to see if Kaz can still keep up at the old X Division pace. There’s a small hiccup when Bey rolls back before Kaz is in position for the Headscissors Pick, so when they do the spot, it does look a little goofy. Ace and Swann come in next and they have much better chemistry. Even though some spots don’t look as smooth as one would expect, they still work. Which of course tells us that KENTA and Josh are next. KENTA lands a few big kicks, but then Josh catches him, Rolling Senton, then all six men come in for a quick kerfuffle and commercial break.

We come back and Bey hits this buttery smooth Overhead Screw Kick on Swann. Ace of BEYce tandem work, for 2. A little Click Click Boom leads to another 2 count against Rich. A little fun with the ref, Bey throws Rich into KENTA and Ace’s feet, then they go for a little Scott Hall reference. Bey brings Rich to the corner, asks who to tag and Ace does the point to KENTA in true NWO fashion. KENTA works over Rich for a little bit, until the Double Lariat spot. Frankie comes in, levels the playing field hits a Double DDT on the tag champs but then gets rocked by Bey. Wobbly legs and all, Kaz gets to Josh to tag out.

Powerbreaker from Josh, Rich tags in for a 450 and a 1-2-Ace grabs Rich’s foot and pulls him out. Ace gloats and eats the Josh low Crossbody. KENTA and Ace team up to take out Josh before Rich wipes out Ace again. Bey tries a dive but gets kicked in the face. Slingshot from Bey but Kaz is there to catch him with a Cutter into the bodies. Rich crawls in the ring and Ace does the heads up thing by throwing Bey in at 9. Rich is winning the early trade, Triangle Kick from Ace, Slingshot DDT from Kaz, Busaiku Knee from KENTA, Josh tries to go for the C4 Spike but he notices Maclin watch the match. ABC 1-2-SWEET and Bullet Club wins!

Overall Score: 7.5/10

Well okay, maybe a few away helped. I loved the complete lack of the Dreamer/Bully angle beyond the mention of their upcoming match. PCO is always entertaining even if it’s extremely redundant at this point, Santino and Joe Hendry…that’s just comedy gold. The concept of cashing in someone else’s rematch clause because you want revenge as the champion is so stupid, but so logical. Gresham and Bailey have this weird respect rivalry budding that could just give us a few bangers this year or form a damn good tag team. The Coven picking up the win could be an easy out for Taya since I’m pretty sure I saw something about her doing some AEW shows. Deonna being on the face side of this current drama is a logical move for her to start playing babyface, and Josh showing some cracks in his armor is perfect for Maclin.

I’m still in the Jersey boat of Maclin should take the belt off of Alexander. A few mind games, a few more wrinkles and it could really be a thing. Do it you cowards! Put the strap on Maclin!