Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 7.13.2023

My boy Zachary Wentz has a chance at getting The Rascalz involved in the tag match at Slammiversary if he can beat Chris Bey. We also might get some information on what they were planning on doing about the PCO situation; and the very real non-kayfabe angle of Steve Maclin being injured. Not sure if we’re gonna see why Deaner apparently is gonna fill in, but his involvement in anything that isn’t comedy takes my interest away. Deaner playing mook to Eric Young’s psycho bunch was fun, but Deaner really ruined the faction, they’re a joke, he’s lost his grip on the job squad and now is getting involved as Bully’s fall guy? Deaner, Champagne Singh and Shera are the low points of the Impact roster.

But who knows, maybe some grand illusion can spice my interest back up in some of the undercard situations.

.@Kelly_WP and @mashaslamovich want Knockouts Tag Team gold at #Slammiversary.#IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/8ebiFCdz7V

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) July 14, 2023

Ratings:

• Zachary Wentz w/Trey Miguel vs Chris Bey w/Ace Austin: Wentz wins via Gunckel Driver – ** 3/4
• Kevin Knight vs Mike Bailey: Speedball wins via Ultima Weapon – *** 1/4
• Joe Hendry & Yuya Uemura vs Stripper Kenny & Sheldon Jean: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – **
• Moose & Brian Myers vs Rich Swann & Sami Callihan: Moose wins via Lights Out – ***
• Open Challenge: Knockouts World Title: Deonna Purrazzo (c) vs Jody Threat: Deonna retains via Venus de Milo – ***

Results:

Deaner apparently pitched his involvement during a Busted Open episode? They even drop Jeff Jarrett’s name for heat on the angle I guess? At least Bully doesn’t seem to care and they didn’t overcomplicate the fill in. 

Zachary Wentz w/Trey Miguel vs Chris Bey w/Ace Austin

Things start off slow, Wentz tries for some early heel tactics but has to beg off and slow things down. Bey speeds things up with a quick Frankensteiner, Wentz goes to sweep the leg but Bey dodges and Wentz eats a Stomp to the back of his head for his troubles. Quick powder from Wentz causes all four to start jawing on the outside and the babyfaces get snuck in typical dumb babyface fashion.

Wentz and Trey take a few shortcuts, try to really torque on a few submissions, but Bey is firing up for his comeback. A few quick strikes lead Wentz to the corner, Apron side Enzuigiri while Wentz is in the corner rocks him further and the top rope move gets him a near fall. A little counter punching Junior style ensues with dodges, floating through move attempts but Bey catches Wentz with a Destroyer and then he celebrates a little. Trey gets mouthy, Ace tries to stop things but Trey Superkicks him forcing Bey to take out Trey. Bey skins the cat to get back in the ring but Wentz uses a foreign object to the throat to daze Bey, and then a Gunckel Driver means Wentz wins!

The Rascalz are NOT in the IMPACT World Tag Team title match at #Slammiversary! @ZacharyWentz @TheTreyMiguel @milanmiracle @ScottDAmore #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/UxE1qxFui5

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) July 14, 2023

Kevin Knight vs Mike Bailey

Bailey has an early tempo advantage. While Knight is hanging with the X Division speed, Bailey is controlling most of the early offense. Knight tries to string a few things together once he finally lands a move, but Speedball negates Knight’s offense with a Triangle Moonsault and then we get a commercial break.

We return to Bailey lighting up Knight with his kick combinations, Knight retreats to the corner, Yakuza Kick into just a simple Knee Drop to the back, no finisher attempts. Axe Kick from Bailey keeps Knight down, goes for the Backflip Knees but Knight moves and connects with a few big haymakers. Bailey catches him trying a Springboard by kicking the ropes, he’s draped, eats a few kicks and Knees across the draped shoulder blades give Bailey a near fall. Buzzsaw Kick attempts miss, every kick attempt misses and Knight tries to make some space. Tornado Kick attempt is blocked but Bailey stops Knight in his tracks with a Superkick while he’s in mid air.

Forearm shots from Bailey give him a small advantage, Knight hits a Popping Dropkick but Speedball recoils off the ropes and lands his Flip Knees before Knight gets back up from his Dropkick. Bailey goes to the top rope, Knight pops up for a the Superplex and then we get locomotion cradles for only 2 from both men. Knight goes for a Running DDT, but Bailey flips him into a corner, Tornado Kick connects, Ultima Weapon gives Speedball the win!

Joe Hendry & Yuya Uemura vs Stripper Kenny & Sheldon Jean

This quickly breaks down into a mess of everyone in the ring dropping each other after King and Hendry avoid each other early on. We get to a move spam spot, Tiger Driver from King on Yuya, and then Hendry goes for something but because Kenny was wrestling in a hoodie (because he’s sensitive about the Stripper comments), the hoodie comes off, Hendry overreacts, the crowd starts cheering “Stripper Kenny” and Kenny powders and runs away from shame. Sheldon is left alone, eats a Standing Ovation and Yuya and Hendry win.

IMPACT Flashback Moment: Slammiversary 2013 Ultimate X Match: Kenny King (c) vs Chris Sabin vs Suicide

Moose & Brian Myers vs Rich Swann & Sami Callihan

This was made last week since Moose is trying to prove something, while Myers is being the typical heel trying to avoid things and create a numbers advantage. So this is one of the few matches that could really go either way.

Early on, Rich is beating the hell out of Myers, a little tandem offense makes things look bad, but Myers with the eye rake and tags in Moose. Moose comes in quick and aggressive. Moose charges, goes over to the outside, Rich blind tags himself in and gives Moose  aswift quick followed by Sami throwing him from the apron into Moose and Myers. Swann is keeping Moose at pay, perches, Myers feints like he’s gonna do something to distract Swann, so Moose just shoves him off the turnbuckle.

Commercial break and we come back to Myers with his weird little surprised scream Gamengiri and then tags Moose back in. Electric Chair from Moose but Swann turns it into a pinfall for two and then Moose lands an Uranage for the insolence. Myers is back in and being a little cocky. It has been a hot minute since Sami’s been a legal competitor, so he’s got to get the tag soon. Myers tags Moose back in, Swann peppers a few Chops but Moose is trying to keep Swann from the tag. Inadvertent Rocket Launcher from Moose sends Swann to Sami for the tag, and Sami takes the hot tag laying everyone out. Cactus Driver attempt, but Moose headbutts Sami to try and stop him, but dueling lariats lay both men out.

Stereo-tags, malfunction at the junction as Myers kicks Moose, Swann and Sami hit a tandem move…but Moose breaks up the pinfall. Gets Myers in a position to tag out, and Moose is trying to take things into his own hands. Death Valley Driver into a 450 Splash…but Moose kicks out! Assisted Cactus Driver attempt, but Myers pulls Swann out, Low Blow from Moose into Lights Out – Moose and Myers win!

Even if the match ended with heel tactics, it was still fairly gutsy from Moose. Interesting dynamic. 

Open Challenge: Knockouts World Title: Deonna Purrazzo (c) vs Jody Threat

Collar and Elbow tie up start, so nothing crazy, very normal Purrazzo start with World of Sport grappling and chain wrestling. Some basic follows into the corners and the ropes with a few Bodyscissors Rollups and it’s not until Threat connects with a few haymakers into a Slingshot Codebreaker for the first real near fall. Deonna is getting mad and cocky after a few counters, Leg Whips Threat out of the corner and grabs the arm and a leg, leaning back for the breaker like Pentagon used to do all the time.

Commercials happen, we come back and Deonna is working over the left arm of Threat. But when Threat tries something, she eats a Knee Lift, Russian Leg Sweep into the Fujiwara…but Threat gets to the ropes. A bit of bullying in the corner goes awry for Deonna as Threat counters a Suplex into a Suplex of her own, and both are down for a little bit for the slow rise to the feet. Boot to the Head from Threat, Double Knees against the ropes right into a Release German Suplex for 2!

Queen’s Gambit attempt, but Threat spins out, Forearm shiver, Headbutt and now she goes to the sky for a Diving Senton followed up by a Western Lariat for 2! Torture Rack, Deonna slips it, Pump Kick and then catches Threat in another Fujiwara. Threat rolls through, they pass on the rope run, then Threat coops Deonna into a Michinoku Driver for 2! F-416 attempt but Deonna slips it and locks in the Venus de Milo for the defense!

Gisele, Jai and Savannah attack Deonna and Jody Threat. Death Dollz show up for a save, but then The Coven come out. We’re getting an old school TNA brawl, but a Knockouts version. Sexy Kinky Psychos show up next to go after The Coven! Trinity eventually shows up and takes out most of Gisele’s SHAWn-tourage…or whatever they’re calling themselves. Deonna and Trinity are the last two, bump into each other and just have a moment. Trinity and Deonna both grab the belt, there’s a small pause and then Deonna punches Trinity. Nothing dirty, just frustrations coming to a head.

Overall Score: 7/10

Not a bad Go Home, especially given the double change in one of the more established angles leading into Slammiversary. The little post-credits scene of D’Amore on the phone saying “Apparently this time PCO can’t come back to life…but can you?” makes me think we might see Eric Young come back in Team Canada form. Because the only other name that I could see garnering real interest would be Teddy Hart. Johnny Devine could be cute since Alex Shelley is the current champion and a little Paparazzi Productions nostalgia could be cute…but I’d really like to think for a show like Slammiversary you’re aiming either Eric Young or Teddy Hart. Though Eric Young does have a built in story with Deaner since he’s filling in for Maclin. So that would work oddly perfectly.

It also was heavily implied that since Santino denied The Rascalz entry into the tag match…they will either interfere in his match with Dango or screw over ABC in the tag match. So there’s definitely a few weird little wrinkles to look into. Especially since Stripper Kenny seems to be a little too shaken up, it could just be a clever way to make Hendry think he’s already won.

While nothing was especially crazy or charged me up with more interest than I already had, still not an offensive episode with a bunch of stuff to like. So now let’s hope Slammiversary knocks it out of the park!