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Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (8/31/23)

JUST! TAP! OUT!

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ROH Wrestling 2023

Will the King of the Ropes become the star of NJPW World?

Zack Sabre Jr. sticks around ROH to defend his NJPW World Television Championship against Metalik! Will this clash of styles dethrone The Front Man?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • NJPW World Television Championship: Zack Sabre Jr. VS Metalik; ZSJ wins and retains the title.
  • Josh Woods w/ Mark Sterling VS John Walters; Woods wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Lee Moriarty & The Workhorsemen VS Lord Crewe, Invictus Khash & BEEF; Moriarty & The Workhorsemen win.
  • Cole Karter w/ Maria Kanellis-Bennett VS Dustin Jackson; Karter wins.
  • Emi Sakura VS Alice Crowley; Emi wins.
  • Spanish Announce Project VS The Outrunners; SAP wins.
  • Marina Shafir VS Angelica Risk; Shafir wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championships: The Mogul Embassy VS Action Andretti, Darius Martin & Lee Johnson; The Mogul Embassy wins and retains the titles.

PLAY BY PLAY

NJPW World Television Championship: Zack Sabre Jr. VS Metalik!

TMDK’s Front Man is a Submission Master, but he’s up against The King of the Ropes, who very well may be a lucha libre master! Will this be a shocking “season finale” for ZSJ? Or will he make sure Metalik’s 15 minutes of fame are cut short?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if the mighty don’t kneel!

The bell rings and we’re on the clock, fans rally up, and the two circle. ZSJ and Metalik feel things out, knuckle lock, and then ZSJ waistlocks. Metalik switches, ZSJ drop toeholds and headlocks, then shifts to a chinlock. Metalik rolls, wrenches, wristlocks, then hammerlocks, but ZSJ squats and squats and uses his own leg to hook and break the hold. ZSJ wrenches, wristlocks and wrangles Metalik to the mat! Fans cheer, ZSJ bends the fingers, but Metalik fights up. Metalik rolls, wrenches, and wrenches, and snapmares. Metalik ghost pins, ZSJ bridges to block it! Fans cheer, and ZSJ shifts around to have a standing toehold.

ZSJ twists Metalik’s foot but Metalik turns over. ZSJ uses that to BOW ‘N’ ARROW, but Metalik pops right out to a cover, ONE! Fans cheer as the two stand off. ZSJ applauds, he and Metalik circle. ZSJ offers a handshake, Metalik thinks about it, and fans cheer. They shake hands, but then ZSJ wrenches the hand! ZSJ whips, Metalik rolls, springboards and CROSSBODIES! Metalik blocks a lariat to knuckle lock and CHOP! Metalik goes up and up and around to FLYING RANA! ZSJ tumbles out, fans fire up, and Metalik builds speed to slide. But ZSJ dodges! Metalik hurries back up, he counters the haymaker to slingshot arm-drag!

Metalik tries again but ZSJ blocks this arm-drag. They spin around, block each other, but ZSJ wrangles Metalik into an ARMBAR! Metalik moves, ZSJ shifts to omoplata and ARM TWIST! Fans cheer the technical savagery while Metalik writhes. ZSJ gets the hand, top wristlock and he STOMPS the arm! Metalik writhes his way to a corner but ZSJ drags him up. ZSJ has Metalik on his knees, steps over the bad arm, and he bends the fingers! Metalik endures the torture, even as ZSJ YANKS on the fingers! ZSJ isolates the arm again to STOMP it! Fans fire up as ZSJ swaggers and Metalik goes to a corner.

ZSJ taunts Metalik with sharp kicks, but Metalik CHOPS! Metalik eggs ZSJ on so ZSJ UPPERCUTS! ZSJ reels Metalik in, back suplexes, but Metalik lands on his feet! Metalik BOOTS from the corner, then SLING-DOGS! Metalik runs to a corner, goes up and along the ropes, MISSILE DROPKICK! Fans fire up as ZSJ bails out! Metalik builds speed to FLY! Direct hit at the ramp! The ref counts, fans rally up, and Metalik brings ZSJ up and in at 6 of 10. Metalik aims, ZSJ rushes in, but Metalik blocks the lariat to GAMANGIRI! Metalik climbs, tightrope walks, and CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO!

ZSJ escapes and Metalik grows frustrated. Metalik drags ZSJ up, fireman’s carries, but ZSJ slips off! Metalik throws elbows to fight the waistlock, then runs, btu ZSJ goes from the corner! Metalik dodges but ZSJ tilt-o-whirls into an IRON OCTOPUS! And then GROUND OCTOPUS! ZSJ grinds Metalik down but Metalik fights around! ROPEBREAK! ZSJ lets Metalik go and says Metalik’s arms aren’t working. Metalik says he’s still in this but ZSJ CLUBS the arm! ZSJ UPPERCUTS the arm, then wrenches to an ELBOW BREAKER! And then another uppercut! But Metalik CHOPS! ZSJ UPPERCUTS!

ZSJ runs, Metalik hurdles, rolls back, tilt-o-whirl DDT!! Cover, TWO!! ZSJ is still in this and time is on his side, but Metalik scoops! ZSJ slips free to victory roll! TWO and Metalik has the cover, TWO! ZSJ reels Metalik in, double wristlock cover, TWO as Metalik bridges! Metalik rolls back, O’Conner Bridge!! TWO!!! ZSJ escapes and BOOTS Metalik! Fans fire up as ZSJ runs, into a SUPERKICK! Fans are with Metalik as he goes up the corner! Metalik is on the top rope, tightrope walks, and MACHO ELBOWS onto a TRIANGLE HOLD! DISARMER ARMBAR! DOUBLE ARMBAR! Metalik verbally quits, ZSJ wins!

Winner: Zack Sabre Jr, by submission (still NJPW World Television Champion)

The Mighty Don’t Kneel, and The Front Man doesn’t lose in NJPW World Television Championship matches! Will this first season of The ZSJ Show go on forever?

 

Backstage interview with Cole Karter & Maria Kanellis-Bennett.

Lexi Nair is with The Diamond in the Rough and The First Lady of Wrestling. Lexi brings up that while Karter has a match tonight, she wants to know what he said to Griff Garrison last week after their match. Karter says that Maria has a huge opportunity for Griff- Wait, why for Griff and not Karter? Maria says it’s for both of them. Griff has had a lot of experience in tag team wrestling, and it’d be good to have some friends. But Karter has his match, so she wants him to focus on that. Karter says yes, he’d 100% agree, but he wants her to walk out with him to the ring tonight. She says she’s a bit busy, but he says it can be just the one time.

Maria says okay, just the one time. She’s gonna go check in with her kids, and see him later. Karter is excited, but is he expecting a bit too much just for following Maria?

 

Josh Woods w/ Mark Sterling VS John Walters!

The Technical Beast told Smart Mark that it was time to get serious, and so far, so good. Will Woods continue blazing a trail back to the ROH Pure Championship? Or will another former champion in “Hurricane Walters” stand in his way?

The Code of Honor is upheld, the two circle and feel things out, and Walters shoots in for a leg. Woods holds that off, facelocks and drags Walters down, then shifts around. Walters fights up, wrenches, wristlocks, but Woods spins and cravats. Walters endures, pushes and spins free to wrench back. Woods spins Walters around, snapmares him with some force, then arm-drags him! But Walters arm-drags right back! Fans cheer as Walters has the armlock on Woods. Woods fights up, powers Walters to a whip, but Walters blocks the hip toss! Walters tries but now Woods blocks a hip toss, and the two go back and forth with countering counters!

Woods TOSSES Walters out, but Walters lands safe on the apron. Walters eggs Woods on, then RAMS into him! Walters slingshots to arm-drag again! Fans cheer but Woods is getting frustrated. He headlocks Walters, Walters powers out, things speed up and Walters leaps, into a FLAPJACK! Woods sits Walters up to CLUB away on his chest, then drive in elbows! Fans are torn but Woods is seething. Sterling says to finish it, and Woods storms up on Walters in a corner. Woods throws hands, but Walters elbows back! Walters kicks, runs up, sunset flip! ONE!! Woods swings, misses, schoolboy, ONE!

Walters stands up but into a kick! Woods KNEES Walters down! GORILLA LOCK!! Walters taps, Woods wins!

Winner: Josh Woods, by submission

Sterling celebrates with his client, and though this wasn’t a Pure Rules match, notice how Woods didn’t use closed fists or ropebreaks. Will Woods prove HE is the Wrestler around here? Or will Katsuyori Shibata return to put him to the test?

 

Six Man Tag: Lee Moriarty & The Workhorsemen VS Lord Crewe, Invictus Khash & BEEF!

#TAIGASTYLE teamed with JD Drake & Anthony Henry before, though in a losing effort against Action Andretti, Darius Martin & Lee Johnson. Will they have better luck the second time around?

The trios sort out and oh no! Moriarty & The Workhorsemen just attack! JD is after Crewe, Moriarty is after Khash, and Henry is after Beef! The bell rings as Henry TOSSES Beef and JD TOSSES Crewe! Moriarty whips Khash, Khash reverses but Moriarty goes up and over and trips Khash to DOUBLE STOMP then BASEMENT DROPKICK! Fans fire up, Moriarty talks some trash, and he wrenches Khash. Khash scoops and SLAMS Moriarty! Khash swings on the Workhorsemen, but Moriarty KNEES Him in the back! Tag to Henry, but Khash hip tosses! Khash wrenches, YANKS the arm, and tags in Crewe.

Crewe wrenches Henry but Henry knees low and UPPERCUTS! Henry whips, Crewe reverses then scoops, but Henry slips free. Crewe switches, Henry tags JD before the O’Conner Roll, JD DDTS Crewe! Cover, TWO! Crewe stays in this but JD stays between him and his team. JD CHOPS Crewe down, then KICKS him in the back. JD drops a KOKESHI on Crewe! Cover, TWO! JD CHOKES Crewe, the ref reprimands, and JD stands Crewe up to ROCK him! Tag to Moriarty and JD CHOPS Crewe! Moriarty brings Crewe around, SNAP HALF HATCH! Bridging cover, TWO! Crewe escapes but Moriarty holds the bridge.

Fans rally for “CREWE! CREWE!” but Moriarty bumps Crewe off buckles. Tag to Henry, Henry swaggers and mocks the chants, then he stomps Crewe. Henry snapmares and KICKS Crewe in the back! Henry taunts Crewe, kicks him around, eggs Crewe on, and Crewe CHOPS! Fans fire up as Crewe throws body shots, and then picks Henry up! But Henry sunset flips, TWO! Crewe gets up but Henry kicks low! Henry ROCKS Khash, swings on Beef, but Crewe cradles! TWO, Henry reels Crewe back in, but Crewe SCREW HIGH KICKS! Fans fire up, hot tags to Moriarty and BEEF! Beef RAMS Moriarty. DECKS JD, then SAIDOS Moriarty!

Fans fire up with Beef and he runs to a corner! Beef climbs, but Henry anchors him! Khash YANKS Henry down, but Henry THROAT CHOPS him! Beef adjusts, to FROG FLOP as Moriarty moves! Tag to Henry, tag to JD. Henry goes up, to DIVING DOUBLE STOMP! JD goes up, Moriarty DIVES into Crewe! JD MOONSAULTS! Cover, Moriarty & Workhorsemen win!

Winners: Lee Moriarty & The Workhorsemen, by pinfall

Moriarty shows the boys the Shmoney dance, JD gives his country two step take on it, will these three stick together and take over?

 

Cole Karter w/ Maria Kanellis-Bennett VS Dustin Jackson!

The Kingdom’s Army is being built one soldier at a time, and The First Lady is willing to be ringside if it’ll motivate The Diamond in the Rough. Will Karter crush Jackson into dust? Or will Karter’s stock soon plummet?

The Code of Honor is upheld, the bell rings, and then Karter pie faces Jackson so he can talk up Maria. Maria says focus, and Jackson DROPKICKS him down! Karter goes to a corner, Jackson ROCKS and CHOPS then whips corner to corner. Karter goes up and over to DROPKICK! And DROPKICK again! Karter whips Jackson to run him over! Fans boo but Karter grins and blows a kiss to the crowd. Karter then STOMPS Jackson on the back! Karter toys with Jackson, but Jackson throws body shots! Jackson backs Karter down, wrenches and whips but Karter comes back to LARIAT! Karter then reels Jackson in!

Karter gut wrenches, EYE OF THE BEHOLDER! Cover, Karter wins!

Winner: Cole Karter, by pinfall

Karter grins and shrugs, and Maria says yes, that was nice. Will Karter prove he’s worth the time and money invested? Who else will join the ranks of the Kingdom’s Army?

 

Emi Sakura VS Alice Crowley!

The Queen of Joshi returns to ROH! She was on the losing end last night on Dynamite, but will she redeem herself here? Or will this be the second time a girl named Alice got the better of a mad monarch?

The Code of Honor is barely upheld, the bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, Emi slips away and grins. Fans rally for Alice and she fires a forearm! Alice wrenches, CHOPS, and then goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Fans fire up as Alice DROPKICKS Emi down! Emi snarls as she sits up but Alice brings her around. Emi Mongolian Chops back! Emi pie faces Alice to a corner, tells the ref to back off, and then laughs before she TOSSES Alice by her hair! Emi stomps Alice, goes up a corner, and says “I am Your Highness!” Her Highness VADER FLOPS as Alice moves! Fans fire up and Alice ROCKS Emi with forearms!

Emi just laughs it all off? Alice fires more shots, but Emi mocks the fans like she can’t hear them. Emi blocks a forearm to then CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOPS again! And again! Emi eggs Alice on, Alice gets around and ripcords to UPPERCUT! FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! Almost perfect but Emi still escapes! Alice storms back up, tries another suplex, but Emi turns it around to a TWISTING DDT! Fans rally with the “We Will Rock You!” Emi storms up to CHOP, CHOP and CHOP! Emi CHOPS on the beat even! Emi runs corner to corner, to BODY CHECK! Emi then reels Alice in, underhooks, and stalling BACKBREAKER! Cover, Emi wins!

Winner: Emi Sakura, by pinfall

The Queen makes the ref kneel so she can use him as a seat, but she is without a title. Will she look to head up the ranks in both AEW and ROH as we make it past All Out this weekend?

 

Backstage interview with Mark Sterling & Josh Woods.

Lexi congratulates Woods on another dominant win and Sterling says that is right, and a good choice of words. Dominant, superior, unprecedented, unparalleled. Now Woods said he needed a change and Sterling answered by giving Woods the best talent possible. What does Woods think? Woods says yes, he beat his former mentor, Silas Young. He just beat a former ROH Pure Champion in Josh Walters. Woods has been down to fight and that is what he plans to do. Sterling says night in and night out, Sterling has been shouting from the rooftops that Woods is a national champion! Look into his eyes when he says that!

“There is nobody in ROH or AEW that is a national champion! He is a four-time All American and a real deal fighter.” They will continue to prove that Woods is the Face of the Pure Division! Woods is #DTF, Down To Fight, but will he soon be a contender?

 

Spanish Announce Project VS The Outrunners!

Angelico & Serpentico are ready to represent in multiple languages, while Turbo Floyd & Truth Magnum are ready to take us back in time! Will SAP get a big win in ROH? Or will The Outrunners have huge momentum going into Rampage’s ROH World Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Battle Royal?

The Code of Honor is upheld a la the Mega Powers, and then the teams sort out. Truth and Serpentico start and the fans rally up. They tie up, Truth puts Serpentico in a corner, but he lets off to SLAP Serpentico! Truth spins around then flexes, but Serpentico SLAPS him right back! Things speed up, Serpentico tilt-o-whirls and RANAS! Truth staggers up into a DROPKICK! Serpentico has Truth with a wrench, then tag to Angelico. Snapmare and PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Angelico brings Truth up, wrenches, and tags in Serpentico. Serpentico goes up top to DOUBLE STOMP the arm! Serpentico then runs, gets around, roll up and SUPERKICK!

Fans fire up as Serpentico goes up a corner! Turbo panics, he rushes over, but Serpentico leaps away! Truth runs in to LARIAT Serpentico inside-out! Fans rally, Truth calls in Turbo and they stomp away on #SNAKEMAN! Turbo flexes but Serpentico throws hands! Turbo CLUBS Serpentico, tags in Truth, and they double whip to DOUBLE ELBOW! They both spin around, they both flex, and then Truth runs to drop a knee! Truth tags Turbo back in, the then Turbo ELBOWS Serpentico, into a BULLDOG! Truth hits a BAESMENT BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Turbo is annoyed but he covers again, TWO!

Turbo brings Serpentico up but Serpentico throws hands! Turbo CLUBS Serpentico, drags him up, tags Truth, and the Outrunners double whip. Serpentico holds ropes, BOOTS Truth then BOOTS Turbo! Serpentico goes up to RANA Turbo away! The Outrunners regroup, run in, but Serpentico slides under! Hot tag to Angelico! The South African Stud rallies with lariats, but Turbo gets around to full nelson! Angelico BOOTS Truth, RAMS Turbo into a corner then arm-drags him away! Angelico then uses Turbo as a step to FLYING AX HANDLE Truth! Fans fire up but Turbo ROCKS Angelico! So Angelico JABS back!

Angelico eggs Turbo on and fans fire up. Turbo snarls and he storms up to swing, but Angelico ducks to DECK him! And then drop toehold, into the NAVARRO STF! But Truth stomps him down! Serpentico runs in but Truth knees low! But Serpentico TOSSES Truth out hard! Turbo storms up, scoops Serpentico, but Serpentico slips free! Turbo jumps Angelico’s sweep but the EDDY GORDO KICK gets him! Serpentico runs back in, COMPLETE SHOT! Angelico opens the way for Serpentico to DIVE onto Truth! Angelico has the arms, drags Turbo around, omoplata and HALF CRAB! Turbo TAPS, SAP wins!

Winners: Spanish Announce Project, by submission

A great win for the brightly colored duo, will they keep this rolling until they are tag title contenders?

 

Marina Shafir VS Angelica Risk!

ROH has a Problem, and it’s in the form of the Moldovan MMA trained member of the Vicious Vixens! Also on the losing end like Emi Sakura, will Marina also redeem herself tonight? Or is this a Risk that Marina should not have taken?

The Code of Honor is upheld, though Shafir won’t let go. Risk can’t get free and the ref has Shafir let go. The bell rings, Shafir shoves Risk, and then the two scrap! Shafir clinches, gets a leg, and brings Risk up. Risk tries to Guillotine but Shafir just powers out to SLAM Risk down! Risk sits up, checks her chin, and smirks. Shafir brings Risk up and around, half nelson then full nelson then chinbar! Risk fights, Shafir whips her around to SAYANAGI! Shafir keeps wrist control, steps all over Risk’s face, then drags her back up to KICK her! And KICK her in the back! Shafir pushes Risk around, drags her back up, and SAYANAGIS again!

Risk sits up but Shafir asks her, “What now?” Shafir wants to know where all that trash talk went. She then SAYANAGIS again! Risk staggers away but Shafir storms up after her. Shafir gets a leg, toys with Risk, and KICKS her again! Shafir kneels on Risk but Risk kicks away. Shafir KICKS Risk around, grinds her down, but Risk kicks her! Risk gets free, dodges a haymaker, and JABS! JAB! RIGHT! JAB! Risk fires off fast hands, but Shafir just eggs her on! Risk runs, but into a BOOT! Shafir gets Risk up again, clinch and BODY SLAM! Then she hooks a leg, headscissors, DEEP TRIANGLE! Risk taps, Shafir wins!

Winner: Marina Shafir, by submission

Shafir keeps on Risk to teach her a lesson, then lets go when she’s satisfied. Is she going to be a Problem for the entire ROH Women’s Division?

 

ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championships: The Mogul Embassy VS Action Andretti, Darius Martin & Lee Johnson!

Brian Cage, Bishop Kaun and- Well not Toa Liona but Prince Nana on his behalf, all talked a lot of trash on The Sight to See & The Air Wolf for thinking swapping out one partner for another is going to change anything. But will Big Shotty be just the man to help Action & Darius dethrone these behemoths? Or will the Machine & The Gates of Agony shut the door on their challengers once again?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if the streak stops here!

The Code of Honor is upheld, but then the Embassy all reel Action, Darius & Lee in! Liona & Kaun SPINEBUSTER Lee & Action while Cage fireman’s carries Darius! F5!! Cover, TWO!! Darius survives and The Embassy might be underestimating their opponents just a bit here. Cage still drags Darius up, RAMS him into an open corner, and ROCKS him with a right! Cage whips corner to corner hard and Darius bounces off buckles! Cage flexes, then he drags Darius up. Cage reels Darius in, puts one out, and gets Darius up, but Darius RANAS Cage into buckles! Darius hurries, Cage staggers, and Cage has a leg!

Cage YANKS Darius back, BLASTS Action then LARIATS Darius back down! Lee coaches Darius but Cage starts the Terminator Drums. Cage runs in, into BOOTS! Darius hits a TORNADO DDT! Hot tag to Lee! Big shotty RAMS Cage, but he stays up! Lee tries again, Cage stays up! Lee tries a third time, slips out of a scoop and KICKS! SUPERKICKS! Lee clinches but Cage turns that to a scoop! Lee slips free again, SUPERKICK! Then a scoop! And SLAM! Fans fire up with Lee as he finally has Cage down! Lee runs up the open corner, but Kaun intercepts! Lee DECKS Kaun, but Cage CLOBBERS him!

Cage hoists Lee up, gets him on the top rope, and then drags him up, DRAPING NECKBREAKER! Tag to Kaun and Kaun rains down fists from all sides! Fans boo as Kaun stomps Lee, and then he drags Lee away. Kaun CHOPS Lee to the corner, tags Liona in, and they mug Lee! The ref counts, fans boo, but Liona stands on Lee’s face! The ref counts, Liona lets off, and he tags Kaun back in The mugging continues! They CLUB and RAM and repeat! The ref counts, Liona backs off, and Kaun has a HANGING SLEEPER! The ref counts, Kaun lets go, and he steps on Lee. Cocky cover, TWO! Darius & Action rally the fans behind Lee but Kaun brings him up.

Lee throws body shots, but Kaun CLUBS Lee down! Kaun whips Lee to a corner hard and Lee bounces off buckles! Nana talks trash on Lee, Kaun drags Lee up and whips him hard into the Embassy corner. Tag back to Liona and the mugging continues. Liona whips Kaun in to SPLASH Lee, then Kaun feeds Lee to a LARIAT! Liona glares at Action & Darius, then stands on Lee’s arm! Liona snarls clamps a claw into Lee’s shoulder, and he digs into the meat. Fans rally, Lee endures, and Lee fights up to throw body shots! Lee stomps toes! But Liona keeps him from his corner, to OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY! Liona then BLASTS Action & Darius down!

Liona waits on Lee to rise, he roars, but Lee fights back against Kaun & Cage! Liona runs in, but only gets buckles! Lee hurries, Kaun tags in, and Kaun drags Lee back! Lee BOOTS Kauna way! Hot tag to Action! Action dodges Kaun, BOOTS Cage, then fires off on Kaun with forearms! Kaun knees low, whips, but Action holds ropes to BOOT back! Liona returns, but Action dumps him out! Kaun storms up, Action elbows him away! Action whips, Kaun reverses, Action handspring kicks Liona down! Kaun GERMAN SUPLEXES but Action lands on his feet to dodge, and he WRECKS Liona! Action ROCKS Kaun, GAMANGIRIS, then springboards, 450-

NO, Action has to land on his feet! Kaun runs in, but into a SPANISH FLY! Cover, TWO! Cage is a second late and ends up elbowing Kaun! Action & Darius regroup, they DOUBLE DROPKICK Cage out of the ring! Darius & Action look at the targets outside, and they build speed, to DOUBLE DIVE into Cage & Kaun! Fans fire up as they hit railing, and then Action puts Kaun in! Darius steps in, TORNADO SHOT! NECKBREAKER from Lee! Action springboards up and in to SPLIT-LEG MOONSAULT! Cover, Liona breaks it! Action & Darius mug Liona, Lee joins in! But Liona EXPLODES out! Liona RAMS Darius & Action down!

Liona scoops Lee, calls his shot, but Lee slips free! Things speed up, but Liona POUNCES Lee!! Action runs in, trips Liona up, Darius joins in, alley-oop to the wheelbarrow, dropkick to the leg to add to the BULLDOG! But Kaun tags Cage, he runs in, BOOT for Action! Darius fires off on Cage, but Cage shoves him back. Darius ENZIGURIS! Lee tags in off Action! Darius waistlocks Cage, Cage elbows him away! Action takes aim, SHOTGUN GERMAN COMBO! Lee is up top, takes aim, BIG SHOTTY SPLASH!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Cage survives and the challengers hurry to regroup. Nana is freaking out as the challengers TRIPLE SUPERKICK!!!

Fans fire up but Nana shouts on the apron! The ref tells him to get down, but the challengers TRIPLE SUPERKICK Nana!! They get Cage up, Lee goes up and up, LAWN DART FLYING CUTTER!! Cover, but Kaun CLOBBERS through Action to break it! Kaun fireman’s carries Lee, BOOTS Darius, and hits a GUT BUSTER DROP! Liona is back, he POUNCES Darius!! The Gates drag Lee up and Cage joins in, ROCK-A-BYE BOMB!!! Cover, The Embassy wins!

Winners: The Mogul Embassy, by pinfall (still ROH World Six Man Tag Team Champions)

Prince Nana’s juggernauts are exactly that: massive, overwhelming behemoths! Are they truly unstoppable? Or will there come a day when a trio can take these titles from them?


My Thoughts:

A really good ROH here, especially with it only being 90 minutes. Opening with the NJPW World TV title is fine, those matches are only to be 15 minutes at most anyway. Metalik had a good showing but of course ZSJ retains the title. Much like Eddie Kingston successfully defending the NJPW Strong Openweight title on Dynamite, a NJPW title is not changing hands outside of a NJPW event. And really good ROH World Six Man title match to end the night. Action, Darius & Lee had a really good showing, but I figured they weren’t winning on ROH weekly TV. Trios are getting closer and closer to winning, but I feel like The Embassy will remain undefeated until the next purely ROH PPV.

Good win from Woods over Walters, and good promo from Woods & Sterling to add to the hype. Similarly, good promo from Karter and Maria before Karter gets a good win off Jackson. A little surprised no Leyla Hirsch this episode, but I do like that Maria is saying Griff could join “The Kingdom’s Army.” Karter’s ego might screw up his team with Griff, and it might even get him kicked out because he’s more trouble than he’s worth. But much like The Dark Order saying they’re looking for new members yet not getting any, The Kingdom’s Army needs to expand sooner rather than later for this story to get anywhere.

Good filler wins from Moriarty & Workhorsemen, Emi Sakura, Marina Shafir, and Spanish Announce Project. I really like that there’s a wrestler out there simply named “Beef.” And I really like that The Outrunners are back, their literal 80s throwback gimmick is a lot of fun, but they’re definitely just bodies to fill that tag team battle royal tomorrow. Shafir VS Risk looked chippy, but maybe that was just good acting by the two of them. Emi and Shafir haven’t gotten to do much in AEW lately, maybe they can freshen up in ROH. Though as I said before, ROH might want to create a women’s midcard title to give their growing women’s division more to do.

My Score: 8.7/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

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Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

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AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

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The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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