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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (9/1/23)

The time is now!

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DA DADA DAAAA~! DA DADA DAAAA~!

On the last SmackDown before Payback, JOHN CENA RETURNS! What will he have to say before being part of Superstar Spectacle next week?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rey Mysterio & Santos Escobar w/ LWO VS Austin Theory & Grayson Waller; Theory & Waller win.
  • Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens VS Cruz Del Toro & Joaquin Wilde; Sami & Kevin win.
  • Bayley w/ Damage CTRL VS Shotzi Blackheart; Shotzi wins.
  • AJ Styles VS Solo Sikoa; Solo wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

John Cena heads to the ring!

Hershey fires up as the trumpets blare and Cena makes his way out on stage! “Let’s go to work!” Cena slides into the ring and gets fired up with the fans! Cena then gets the mic to welcome everyone to SmackDown, live in a sold-out Hershey, Pennsylvania! And yes, right here, the fans have given Cena 20 YEARS worth of moments. “And it never gets old. As a matter of fact, every single time, it gets better. Which is why no matter what I’m scheduled to do, every time I get in this ring, I’m gonna do my best to say, ‘Thank you.’ Thank you for all that you have given, and thank you for all that you continue to give.”

Just look around! The fans have given Cena another chance to come home to the WWE family, and it feels good. The fans have given Cena a chance to be on SmackDown. And not for one night only, but for months! The fans are giving Cena a chance to travel to India, his first match in India, and he thanks us for that. And Cena just found this out right before coming out here, hence the extra pep in his step. But the fans have given him the chance to host tomorrow night’s Payback in Pittsburgh! Back to back nights for Cena! “So for all that you have given me, I give you my word, I’ll do my best to give back to you.”

And that starts right here, and right now! Fans fire up as Cena says it starts with tonight’s epic SmackDown! We saw the video, right? Tonight, we’re getting answers to the questions that have been on our minds for weeks! Tonight’s energy, tonight’s electricity, tonight’s noise, we are getting unforgettable moments, because tonight is Cena VS- Wait, what? Jimmy Uso has a new song as he makes his entrance! A little bit of rap, a little bit of classical a la Roman Reigns, but all 100% Jimmy as he gets in the ring with Cena. Fans boo Jimmy as he paces around. The fans then chant for Cena, and also “WE WANT JEY! WE WANT JEY!”

Cena says this is a vocal bunch tonight, talking about what they want. Jimmy asks Cena what he’s doing here. Fans boo but Jimmy says no, don’t boo him! He wants to know what John is doing here! The fans are here for Jimmy, a top star! Fans boo, because they don’t agree. Jimmy says they’re also here to hear, #WhyJimWhy? The answer is simple: he would save his brother ten times over if he’s got to! It doesn’t matter if each and every person in the audience disagrees, Jimmy did that cuz he loves his brother, Jey. But the funny thing is, he didn’t want Jey to be corrupted like Roman Reigns, and damn sure not to be corrupted like one John Cena!

Fans boo, they don’t see corruption but Jimmy says look at him! Cena right here… Jimmy starts to laugh, because Cena IS this place! Cena admits he has a very “identifiable” fashion sense. #NeverGiveUp. No, Jimmy won’t let Cena take this. Cena may be a GOAT, but Jimmy’s one of the best right now! This is HIS ring now. Jimmy wants to say this: Cena and Roman are exactly alike! Fans boo, they don’t agree. Jimmy knows they want to know how and why, and the answer is simple: they just take, take, take. The only difference is, Cena does his with a smile. Fans chant for Cena while he tries to understand where Jimmy’s coming from.

Cena has to stop Jimmy here. Jimmy’s got a lot going on, has had a crazy run, has made rash decisions and is just trying to make sense of it all in his own head. But Cena’s been wanting to say this for three years, because Cena has only been thinking of one thing: “The wrong Uso quit.” Fans go wild hearing that! Jimmy turns to leave, but SUPER- NO, Cena blocks it! Fireman’s carry, ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT!! Fans fire up as Cena throws off his shirt! Jimmy bails out, and we all know that Cena IS back! Will Cena make his next few months here the biggest ones of his career?

 

Backstage interview with Grayson Waller & Austin Theory.

Kayla Braxton is with the excited Aussie Icon and the rather confident Now, and asks their thoughts on Cena’s return and the news of him hosting Payback. Waller and Theory both look upset, but then they laugh. They’re not upset, Theory beat Cena at WrestleMania! And talk about Payback, outside of Theory reclaiming the “stolen” US Championship, what Waller wants to talk about is how the Grayson Waller Effect is going to feature the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes! And they say Cody has some big news, so who better to ask the hard hitting questions and expose the truth than Waller?

Theory says if Kayla is done fantasizing about Cena returning, woohoo~, then get ready to see the greatest tag team of all time go out there and beat the Hall of Famer, Rey Mysterio, and his little sidekick, Santos Uno Leggo. Waller says that means one leg. The most obnoxious team on SmackDown heads out, but will they even get close to half their goals here tonight? Or will they get rolled by the Latino World Order’s leading men?

 

Jimmy’s seething backstage.

He gets mad at a staffer moving a road case in his way, and he demands the guy say his name! “Do you know who I am?!” He pushes the guy and the case aside, storms off down the hall, what will Jimmy do to get over his embarrassment?

 

Rey Mysterio & Santos Escobar w/ LWO VS Austin Theory & Grayson Waller!

SmackDown returns and Waller makes his entrance, followed by Theory’s. The teams sort out and Waller starts with Escobar. Escobar blocks a kick but Waller JABS him! Waller whips, Escobar reverses, things speed up and Escobar DROPKICKS! Cover, TWO! That bad leg isn’t so bad now, and Escobar wrenches Waller to a wristlock. Tag to Rey and Rey KICKS Waller’s arm! Rey wrenches, Waller ROCKS Rey with a forearm! Waller whips, Rey holds ropes, and Rey BOOTS back! Rey even hits Theory before Theory could hit first! Rey whips Waller out of the ring, but Theory runs up behind him! Back suplex, but Rey lands out!

Rey and Escobar dump Theory out, and fans fire up as Rey builds speed, gets a boost, and FLIES onto Waller & Theory! Zelina and the fans cheer as the King and Emperor of Lucha high-five and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Waller suplexes Rey high and hard! Fans rally with “619!” but Theory tags in. Waller whips Theory in to clothesline Rey in the corner! Tag back to Waller, and Theory whips Waller in to KNEE Rey low! Rey falls, Waller tries to start a “One More Time!” chant but no one joins in. Tag back to Theory, Waller whips him in but then it’s a swerve for Theory to whip Waller at Escobar! Waller slides and trips Escobar up, leads Escobar on a chase, and Theory rains fists on Rey the whole time! The ref stops Escobar, Waller joins Theory stomping a mudhole into Rey! Fans boo but they get away with it all the same.

Theory ROCKS Rey with a right, puts him in the corner and RAMS into him! Tag to Waller as the fans rally, but Waller and Theory mug Rey. Waller cravats, throws knees and Rey staggers to ropes. Tag back to Theory, he stands Rey up, and Waller runs in, but Rey ducks! Waller DECKS Theory by accident! Waller hurries to help Theory back up and into the ring! Waller tags himself in, hurries and BLASTS Escobar! Waller then stands Rey up, reels him in, but Rey spins it around to DDT! Fans fire up as Rey and Waller crawl! Hot tag to Escobar! Escobar ELBOWS Waller, DECKS Theory, then ducks ‘n ‘dodges to FOREARM!

Escobar sends Waller to a corner, runs in, but Waller puts him on the apron! Escobar blocks a haymaker to GAMANGIRI! Waller staggers, Escobar CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO! Escobar aims from the corner, spells it out, “L! W! O!” DOUBLE KNEES in the corner! Escobar puts Waller up top, GAMANGIRIS, then whistles before the SUPER STEINER! Cover, Theory breaks it! Rey runs in but Theory kicks him first! Theory scoops Rey, but Rey slips fere and shoves! Rey runs to wheelbarrow and throw Theory out! Escobar CALF KICKS Waller! The fans fire up as the LWO coordinate! Theory runs in, Escobar gets Rey outta the way, CHOP BLOCK into the knee!!

Rey runs in at Theory, Theory pops him up, but Rey throws hands and RANAS Theory and himself outta the ring! Escobar staggers, into Waller’s SOMERSAULT STUNNER!! Cover, Waller & Theory win!!

Winners: Austin Theory & Grayson Waller, by pinfall

The Grayson Waller Effect gets the better of Escobar, but the momentum is behind The Now! Will Theory take the title back? Or can Rey dial it up in the Steel City?

 

Mia Yim talks with Adam Pearce.

Michin knows she was resting up, but she feels ready to go. He’s glad to hear that. But then Jimmy barges in. Pearce is upset, Mia says, “Hello?” Jimmy says, “Hello! Ain’t nobody talkin’ to you!” Jimmy says Pearce called him to talk to him so here he is! Yes, but Pearce was still talking with Mia! This is part of why Pearce wanted to talk to Jimmy! He’s interrupting, bullying staff, being rude! What’s with him? Seriously. Aight, is that all? Yeah. Jimmy leaves, but his mood doesn’t seem to be improving. Will Jimmy do more than “rude” things tonight?

 

Mia talks with the rest of The OC.

The Good Brothers know it’s upsetting, but she shouldn’t get wrapped up in that Bloodline drama. But AJ Styles hears the story, and he says that IS a big deal! Styles will handle this. Mia thanks him, the Good Brothers just wanna go hit Happy Hour. Will Styles make sure he hits Jimmy one for Michin?

 

Bobby Lashley is here!

Fans fire up for The All Mighty as he heads to the ring, dressed in a custom fit suit. He goes to the ring and has his pyro, but what is his business here tonight? We find out, after the break.

SmackDown returns and fans cheer as Lashley has the mic. “Damn, you know how to make somebody feel good. But we have a little business to attend to. See, everywhere I go, from the locker rooms in the back, to the airports, even when I’m at home with my kids, everybody keeps asking me the same question. And that question is, ‘Bobby, what’s going on with you and The Street Profits?’ So I’m here tonight to give you guys a straight answer. And it’s a very simple answer: real recognizes real. And great recognizes great. And that’s why I recognize the Street Profits.” And so here they come! Fans cheer as Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins make their entrance!

Ford & Dawkins join Lashley in the ring, and Lashley has a huge smile on his face. The Profits get mics, and Lashley says “Y’all know The Street Profits. They’re charismatic.” “Sheesh!” “They’re athletic.” “Sheesh!” “And now, they’re more aggressive than they’ve ever been.” “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. Bobby. No Boucher. Tonight is not about us. Tonight is simply about us giving the gratitude to you for everything that you’ve done for us!” Think about it: the last time the Profits had this much success, it’s been a looong time. Fresh cuts, fresh watches, fresh suits, and they sexy. They strike the GQ pose, and Dawkins says, “Combination.”

Dawkins says ever since forming this friendship, Lashley’s helped them see the bigger picture. They stepped over what was, and stepped into what is. From was, to is. Was, is. WAS. TO IS! But think about it, it’s nothing personal, it’s just profits! And while they’ve got days and days, hours and hours, weeks and weeks, years and years, centuries and centuries to talk about the goodness of Lashley, they only need two words. “Thank you!” Fans cheer that and Lashley is very flattered. He appreciates that. But they don’t need to thank him other than with continued success. But now, time to send a message to the entire WWE Universe!

“We are putting everybody on notice. We are coming for power, control, and championship gold. We are coming for it all!” Fans like the sound of that! Will this trio be unstoppable from here until that goal is accomplished?

But wait! As this trio heads out, Kevin Owens makes his entrance! The Prizefighter is a champion, and then here comes Sami Zayn! The Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions look Lashley & The Profits up and down, but Lashley & The Profits step aside. Kevin & Sami are getting ready for their Steel City Street Fight, will they be running at full speed? Or will Cruz & Wilde be a major speedbump heading into Payback?

Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens VS Cruz Del Toro & Joaquin Wilde!

SmackDown returns, the LWO are back at ringside, and the teams sort out. Wilde starts against Sami and they tie up. Sami wrenches, wristlocks, and YANKS the arm! And YANKS it again! Sami headlocks, Wilde fights up and powers out, but Sami runs him over! Cover, ONE, but Sami headlocks. Wilde powers out again, Sami holds ropes, but Wilde runs in. Sami puts Wilde on the apron but Wilde rams into Sami! Wilde slingshots up and over then rolls to ELBOW Sami down! JUMP ELBOW! Cover, TWO! Wilde is a little annoyed but he whips Sami to ropes. Sami reverses, Wilde slips out of the scoop and runs, but into a LARIAT!

Tag to Kevin and fans fire up as Kevin goes up! SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO! Kevin stomps Wilde, CHOPS him to the corner, and throws body shots! Kevin whips Wilde away, pops him up but Wilde DROPKICKS back! Tag to Cruz and he runs in to forearm smash! Cruz JABS, JABS and CHOPS! Cruz whips, Kevin reverses but Cruz slips out to the apron! Cruz ROCKS Kevin, GAMANGIRIS Sami, then PELES Kevin! Fans fire up as Cruz springboards but Kevin gets clear! POP-UP BOMB! Tag to Sami and fans fire up again! Sami runs to BOOT Wilde! Kevin sets Cruz up, Sami runs in to HELLUVA KICK!!

Tag to Kevin, Sami feeds Cruz to a STUNNER!! Cover, Kevin & Sami win!

Winners: Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn, by pinfall

The champs are definitely ready for Payback! And after picking up their belts, Sami picks up a mic to call out The Judgment Day! “Just a little message for tomorrow at Payback. I want you to know right now, tomorrow night, it’s not gonna be fun. It’s not gonna be pretty. Bring everything you have, cuz tomorrow night will be the fight of your LIFE!!” Kevin & Sami hold up their belts, will they still be holding onto them after tomorrow?

 

AJ Styles confronts Jimmy backstage.

Styles asks where Jimmy’s going, and Jimmy says he’s leaving. Good, no one wants him here anyway. Jimmy asks Styles what his problem is, and Styles asks Jimmy what’s his problem! Jimmy wants to disrespect Michin, and for what? Jimmy doesn’t even know who that is! Jimmy shoves Styles, Styles shoves Jimmy down! But then SOLO SIKOA CLOBBERS Styles! The Enforcer of the Island still has Jimmy’s back, but he tells Jimmy that he’s only out of The Bloodline when Roman Reigns says he’s out. Jimmy stands back up, and he says not Solo, Roman or Paul can tell him anything! Jimmy storms off, how will the Tribal Chief respond?

 

Backstage interview with AJ Styles.

SmackDown returns as Cathy Kelley asking Styles about that confrontation. The Bloodline thinks they run everything, but they don’t! They think they run SmackDown, they think they run the WWE, but they don’t! So Styles is gonna handle it! He wants Solo tonight, so he can knock Solo’s teeth out and give him a taste of what he’s been doing to everyone else! But the Good Brothers walk over and again say they don’t need to get involved with the drama. But Mia backs Styles up like he did her, and so it is time for a reminder that SmackDown is the House That AJ Styles Built! Styles heads out, will he get that fight with the Enforcer?

 

The Miz is here!

After mocking LA Knight on Raw, the Hollywood A-Lister is back on SmackDown to confront The Mega Star face-to-face one more time before their high profile match at Payback! Miz gets the mic while fans boo, and Miz says tomorrow night, LA Knight will be in the biggest match of his career! Fans chant for “L A KNIGHT! L A KNIGHT!” but Miz says he gets it. That’s not an insult, that’s just a fact. Miz again copying Knight’s catchphrases, and he brings up how easy it was for Miz to be LA Knight! YEAH~! But Knight is on Miz’s level! Knight isn’t half the star Miz is now, or even half the star Miz was ten YEARS ago!

But wait, here comes the Mega Star himself! Hershey is all fired up as Knight goes right to the ring and gets himself a mic. “LEMME TALK TO YA!” Fans fire up and Knight paces around Miz. “Here’s the Miz with another one of his infamous little cosplay dress-up times, huh? Now let’s go down the line. Who’s he done? He’s done The Rock.” “YEAH!” “He’s done John Cena.” “YEAH!” “And now he’s done L A Knight.” “YEAH!” Knight says what all three of those guys have in common, besides the fact that Miz can’t fill out their clothes, the skinny little turd. All three of those guys are people that Miz wants to be but he can’t!

But Miz comes out and says it’s easy to be Knight. Let’s explore that for a second. Knight brought himself “out of a sewer to stand right here in this ring. I’ve lived in the roach infested apartments. I’ve walked the street when I missed the bus, trying to get to work. I’ve worked every dirty job I could. I’ve slept in my car, I’ve cashed my checks at the payday loan place!” Knight did it ALL, and still he’s here. Miz says it’s easy? Miz wouldn’t last a day in Knight’s boots! But here’s the thing. Miz says Knight isn’t on Miz’s level? Yeah, he’s right. Cuz Miz walked in on his glory from some reality show, rode the elevator up.

But meanwhile, Knight entered down here, stood up to get up here, so now Miz says Knight’s not on his level? Miz is right, because Knight is above and beyond Miz! Miz is the one not on Knight’s level! Miz says Knight wants to talk TV and how they’re different? Knight failed where Miz has succeeded! Knight WAS on a reality show, but you wouldn’t know it cuz he was eliminated the first round! Knight was on The Hero, but he couldn’t even be the hero! Real World Challenges, Raw, SmackDown, and it didn’t take Miz 20 years, it took him THREE! Movies: The Marine series! TV: Miz & Mrs! Miz succeeds because he is a star!

Knight says Miz succeeded by taking advantage of everything he had, which Knight can’t fault him for, Knight would’ve done the same thing. But what Knight sees is that Miz says he’s a star, when he isn’t even the star of his own show! The star of Miz & Mrs. is his WIFE! Miz just carries the bag that Maryse carries Miz’s giblets in! Miz takes his sunglasses off because it is getting serious. Fans go wild chanting “TINY BALLS!” Knight tells Miz that Miz should send Maryse Knight’s regards. Because after Payback, Knight will send her a broken, battered husband, and she will be empty inside. But with one call to Knight, they can fix that real quick, YEAH!

Miz purses his lips and says wow. Guess all those years in that roach infested apartment, playing with his hair brush, cutting promo like a star really paid off. Cuz see? These people all love Knight! They relate to Knight! Cuz these people are failures! They try and they fail, they settle for mediocrity. But hey, Knight is different. He’s had losses. He’s had hopes and dreams crushed, and he’s had setbacks, but hey, to his credit, he didn’t give up. That gives Knight the chance to do something the fans never have: succeed. Too bad for Knight, he’s going up against the wrong superstar for Miz. Miz crushes hopes and dreams all the time!

Don’t believe him? Look at Miz’s past! And this Saturday, oh, Miz isn’t only Knight’s opponent, he is a human time traveler. When Knight loses his match, loses his confidence, loses his popularity and loses his job, he will go back to that roach infested apartment, holding the hairbrush, cutting promos, just like it’s 2003! Fans boo and Knight smirks. Of every stupid thing that Miz just said, the one right thing he just said is that Knight doesn’t quit. And Knight doesn’t quit cuz he doesn’t know how! He never learned! He doesn’t know how to quit!

But Miz wants to live in the past, right? He cries about it, whines about it! Hell, he even glorifies it! So while Miz lives in the past, Knight is living Knight! So Miz, get in that time machine, go as far away as you can, because your present is trash and your future ain’t gonna be much better! Tomorrow at Payback, Miz will get STOMPED OUT, and Miz will learn, whose game is it!? With everybody saying, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!!” Miz takes a swing but Knight dodges it! And Knight shows fist and Miz runs! Knight gets the jacket, Miz slips free to throat chop! SKULL CRUSHING FINALE!! Miz stands tall and fans boo as Miz says, “You wanna talk about future? That’s your future.”

Miz gets the better of Knight, but with a cheap tactic. Will he do the same thing all over again? Or will Knight get his payback at Payback? Wait, Knight rushes Miz at the ramp! Knight fires off but refs and producers rush out! Will Knight keep this energy going 24 hours from now?

 

Bayley w/ Damage CTRL VS Shotzi Blackheart!

The Role Model and her team took The EST out of the running, for now. But will Bayley keep this momentum going for the group? Or will she have to worry about the Wild Child cutting her down for what DMG CTRL did to her?

SmackDown returns and Shotzi makes her entrance, and fires off the tank cannon! She then rushes to the ring, her hair spiked and ready for a fight! Bayley looks worried already. The bell rings, the two circle, and Bayley wants Shotzi to know she looks good. Shotzi rushes in but Bayley gets away! Bayley rushes up to kick but Shotzi ducks under spider walk style! Bayley freaks out, bails out but Shotzi brings her back in! Shotzi puts the leg in the ropes, fires off fists in the corner, but the ref counts. Bayley shoves Shotzi, then SLAPS her! Shotzi just laughs! Bayley is even more creeped out and Shotzi CLOBBERS her! And again!

Shotzi rains down fists, Bayley pushes her away, and Shotzi runs up to wrench and whip. Bayley reverses, Shotzi BOOTS her back! Shotzi goes up, reels Bayley in, HANGING HEADSCISSOR! The ref counts, Shotzi laughs and lets off at 4. Bayley sputters and falls over, Shotzi slides in. Bayley wants mercy, but then she kicks the legs out! Bayley BOOTS Shotzi down then fires off hands! Shotzi goes to a corner, Bayley stomps a mudhole, but she lets off at 4. Shotzi sits up, Bayley laughs at the spike hair, and then pie faces her around. Bayley’s getting cocky but fans rally for Shotzi. Shotzi ENZIGURIS Bayley down!

Shotzi stalks after Bayley, goes outside to intercept her, and drags her off the apron to TOSS her! Fans fire up as Shotzi brings Bayley around to TOSS her again! Shotzi goes up the apron, howls, and fans howl with her! Shotzi CANNONBALLS and takes Bayley down! Shotzi’s having fun now, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Bayley has Shotzi in a chinlock. Shotzi fights up, throws elbows, then body shots and a JAWBREAKER! And another! Bayley goes to a corner, Shotzi runs in but Bayley BOOTS her down! MACHO ELBOW! Cover, TWO! Shotzi is still in this but Bayley drags her around. Bayley goes up again, and hits another MACHO ELBOW but onto knees! Bayley goes to the apron, Shotzi runs in and BOOTS her down! Shotzi grins, builds speed, and she DIVES! Direct hit at the ramp! Shotzi howls again and she brings Bayley back into the ring. Shotzi stalks Bayley while fans rally, Shotzi SLING-DOGS!

Bayley staggers up, into a KNEE! Shotzi ROLLING ELBOWS, QUESTION MARK KICKS, and fans fire up as Shotzi cravats! SLICED- NO, Bayley stops that and puts Shotzi up to! Bayley CLUBS Shotzi, pulls her into the Tree of Woe, and then runs up, springboard ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Shotzi is still in this but Bayley keeps on her. Bayley stalks Shotzi to a corner, reels her in, but Shotzi fights the clinch! Shotzi reels Bayley in, to snap suplex into the corner! Bayley writhes, Shotzi runs in, CANNONBALL! Shotzi puts Bayley in a drop zone and goes up top! But DMG CTRL hurries to distract her! Bayley ROCKS Shotzi! And then HOTSHOTS her!

Bayley calls for the belt so she can clobber Shotzi, but wait! Here comes Charlotte Flair! The Queen won’t let Bayley cheat this one, but Iyo confronts her! Charlotte BOOTS Iyo first! And RAMS her into the barriers! But Dakota runs up on Shotzi! The ref sees her and Dakota defends her innocence, but Charlotte ROCKS Bayley! Shotzi scoops Bayley, FISHERMAN DDT!! Cover, Shotzi wins!!

Winner: Shotzi Blackheart, by pinfall

Charlotte grins as karma bites Bayley on the butt! Shotzi and Charlotte celebrate together, will these two be unlikely allies against DMG CTRL?

 

AJ Styles VS Solo Sikoa!

The Phenomenal One is standing up for the honor of Michin and the pride of The OC, but what started as a confrontation with Jimmy ended up a fight with Solo! Will SmackDown still be the House That AJ Styles Built? Or will the Enforcer of the Island demolish that house right down to the foundation?

SmackDown returns and Styles makes his entrance. The bell rings and Styles fires off on Solo! Solo TOSSES Styles to a corner, Styles ELBOWS Solo back! Styles CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS, but Solo shoves Styles away. Solo runs Styles over! Fans boo while Solo snarls at Styles. Solo shouts at Styles, drags him up and HEADBUTTS him down! Solo eggs Styles on, stands him back up, and headbutts him back down! DIVING HEADBUTT onto knees! Styles KICKS Solo down, runs and drops a knee! Styles fumes as he looms over Solo, then scoops- NO, Solo is too big! Solo ELBOWS Styles, scoops him and SLAMS him first!

Fans rally for Styles and Solo storms up. Solo CHOPS Styles against the ropes, then whips. Styles KICKS Solo back, but Solo runs in. Styles dodges, then hurdles, then drops, then DROPKICKS! Solo staggers to a corner, Styles clotheslines him! Fans boo as Paul Heyman finally makes his way out here. Solo CLOBBERS Styles from behind! The Wise Man approves, and Solo stalks Styles. Styles drags himself up the ropes, Solo runs in, but Styles dumps him out! Styles then hurries to the apron, to SLIDING KNEE! Solo staggers away and Heyman is not happy anymore. Styles slingshots to FLYING FOREARM Solo down!

Styles glares at Heyman, Heyman backs away, and fans rally as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns once again and Solo blocks a whip! Solo whips Styles to a corner, runs in, but into a BOOT! Styles goes up, leaps, but Solo UPPERCUTS Styles outta the air! Styles staggers to a corner, Solo runs him and slides him into the POST! Styles flops out of the ring and the ref checks on him. Styles is hurting but he isn’t out of this just yet. The ring count climbs but Solo goes out to SMACK Styles off the desk! And again! Solo puts Styles in at 6 of 10, then stalks him again. Heyman is happy again as Solo hits a BELLY2BELLY! Cover, TWO! Styles survives but Heyman is still enjoying this.

Solo drags Styles up, fans rally, and Styles throws body shots! Styles CHOPS, ROCKS, but Solo knees low! Solo whips Styles to back drop him high and hard! Even Heyman is shocked and impressed by that one! Solo aims the thumb at Styles, but Styles flounders to the ropes. Solo storms up on Styles, but into a BOOT! And ENZIGURI! Styles PELES Solo down! Fans fire up while Heyman is worried again! A standing count starts, both men stir, and Solo drags himself up with ropes. Both men rise at 5 of 10, and Styles fires off forearms! Styles bobs ‘n’ weaves to fire more, then whips. Solo reverses but Styles dropkicks the legs out!

Styles runs to SLIDING FOREARM! Fans fire up with Styles and he glares at Solo. Styles runs in, clothesline in the corner! Fireman’s carry, but Solo fights free! Solo fireman’s carries, but Styles fights free! Styles blocks a forearm to fire off the Phenomenal- NO, Solo ducks the lariat to whip, pop-up and SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO!! Styles survives and Heyman is frustrated! Fans rally up, Solo looms over Styles, and Solo drags Styles up. Solo HEADBUTTS Styles to a corner, goes to the far side, and runs in, but Styles dodges! Styles keeps moving, to LARIAT Solo down! Fans fire up as Styles LIONSAULTS! Cover, TWO!!

Fans fire up but Heyman is relieved that Solo survives. Styles huffs and puffs, he drags Solo up, and he reels Solo in. Fans fire up as Styles calls his shot, but Solo fights the Clash! Solo lifts Styles, but Styles grabs ropes! Styles slips to the apron, ROCKS Solo, but Solo staggers into the ref! Styles glares at Heyman, but wait! JIMMY is creeping up!? Jimmy trips Styles out of the slingshot!! Fans boo as Jimmy slithers away like the snake he is, and Solo has Styles for the SAMOAN SPIKE!!! Cover, Solo wins!

Winner: Solo Sikoa, by pinfall

Jimmy gets in the ring, much to the shock and confusion of Heyman! Jimmy celebrates with Solo, but Solo grabs Jimmy by the neck! Heyman tells Solo to spare Jimmy, even though fans want to see it! Solo obeys, and lets Jimmy off the hook. Or in this case, spike. Jimmy smiles, and SUPERKICKS Styles down! Jimmy goes up top, takes aim, USO SPLASH!! Jimmy may have said no one tells him what to do, but he still raises the finger to the sky. So then is this Jimmy’s idea to rejoin the Bloodline? Again, how will The Tribal Chief respond?


My Thoughts:

A great SmackDown, especially for a go-home to Payback tomorrow night. Great promo from Cena to open the night, and what a surprise that Jimmy Uso was the one to confront him. Great stuff from both of them, and of course Cena comes out on top of that. Jimmy’s mood carrying over into a confrontation with The OC was a good way to get us to our main event, and we got a really good match from Styles VS Solo. Jimmy’s own interaction with Solo does make Jimmy interfering a surprise. Maybe just as Jimmy is in denial about why he turned on Jey, he could be the one starting to gaslight and trick everyone else. But I would love if there was a Six Man Tag of The OC VS what’s left of The Bloodline, and maybe, just maybe, Styles challenges Roman for the title.

Really good stuff from Rey & Escobar VS Waller & Theory, and really good tag match of Kevin & Sami VS Cruz & Wilde, but not a good night for the LWO really. Two losses in one night, it feels like something’s gotta give. Waller & Theory winning tonight, that might mean Rey retains the US title, but maybe there’s more cheating shenanigans that costs him. But either way, I feel like Theory & Waller should stick together, they’d make a good duo and it’d give Theory something more than what he’s been doing. Plus, they can add Pretty Deadly when Elton Prince is 100% again for a very strong Heel quartet.

Speaking of factions, Lashley & The Profits make their faction official here, just no name yet. I did like their interaction with Kevin & Sami on the ramp, you can bet we’ll get more of that down the line. And as I’ve said before, things like Lashley & Profits VS The OC, Lashley & Profits VS LWO, Lashley & Profits VS The Bloodline would be a lot of fun. Really good stuff out of Bayley VS Shotzi tonight, though that crowd sure went to sleep during the first part. Charlotte helping Shotzi get the win is good stuff, and we’re getting a tag match of those two against Bayley & Iyo, that should go a long way to determining who Iyo defends her title against for Fastlane or sooner.

And awesome stuff out of Knight and Miz in tonight’s promo. I know Knight was kinda flubbing, and Miz called him out on it on Raw, but I think that’s because Knight is getting legitimately worked up giving these promos. This is basically a worked shoot for him because he rly did do all the random things, the odd jobs, and “paid his dues” for so long, so it all does mean something to him to be here now. Miz was standing tall tonight until Knight attacked him on the ramp. The go home math now favors Miz, and I suppose Miz could cheat to win, but what’s the point of that? To prove that Knight could lose and fans are still going to love him? Which I suppose is true, but oddly, I’d rather just see Knight win to stick it to Miz.

My Score: 8.7/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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