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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 1.25.2024

Nic Nemeth has his in-ring debut, Okada returns, and Trinity has her rematch clause!

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Tonight is a spicy show boys and girls! Trinity invokes her rematch clause, Nic Nemeth has his in-ring debut and Okato returns! With Samoa Joe in AEW, Okato doesn’t have anyone to drive for Green Hornet style, so he’s gonna help the Motor City Machine Guns against The System.

Do we trust the system, or is this a precursor to Okada’s choice of a post-NJPW home?

Ratings:

  • Chris Bey w/Ace Austin vs Kevin Knight: Bey wins via Art of Finesse – ** 3/4
  • Oleg Prudius & Dirty Dango w/Alpha Bravo vs Damian Drake & Dante King: Dango wins via Falling Inverted DDT – SQUASH
  • TNA Knockouts World Championship: Trinity vs Jordynne Grace (c): Grace retains via Counter Cradle – *** 1/2
  • Nic Nemeth vs Zachary Wentz w/Trey Miguel: Nemeth wins via Danger Zone – ***
  • Dani Luna & Jody Threat vs MK Ultra (Killer Kelly & Masha Slamovich): MK Ultra win via Tandem Powerbreaker – **
  • The System (Moose, Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards vs Money City Machine Guns (Kazuchika Okada, Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin): Shelley wins via Shellshock – *** 1/4

Results:

Chris Bey w/Ace Austin vs Kevin Knight

Bey and Knight start with a friendly handshake, so I’m guessing Kenny King didn’t extend his time with TNA; or they’re just really starting fresh with the return to the classic name. Knight takes a few early advantages over Bey. Nothing super impactful, but the general pacing and better offense lands for Knight until he misses a Plancha to the outside, Bey uses the top rope in a Neckbreaker and then a Suicida finally shifts the momentum. Knight tries to fight back with punches, but Bey stops him with a Spinning Back Kick, but Knight returns the favor by Dropkicking Bey mid flight and going back to work.

Knight has solid control, Bey blocks a suplex a few times, eats some punches and then Suplex attempt again, but Bey floats over for a Cradle, but Knight gets out. Knight then catches Bey’s foot, but Bey hits him with the Feint for another two. Knight literally leaps over Bey’s next offensive attempt and lands a Brainbuster for only 2. He goes the the top feeling Froggy, but Bey rolls away to the corner. Bey manages to flip Knight to the apron, then kick him around in the ropes, Rope Assisted Guillotine Leg Drop into Art of Finesse and Bey wins!

Post match the GYV hit the ring as soon as the match is over. Bey gets dumped out and they double team Ace, finishing him with an Assisted DDT. Bey tries to rally, but a Double Chop to the throat drops Bey, Grit Your Teeth keeps him down and GYV stand tall with the titles. 

See, like I said last week…these vignettes look like a Dior commercial. 

Oleg Prudius & Dirty Dango w/Alpha Bravo vs Damian Drake & Dante King

I have no clue who these jobbers are, but I hate the Robin Mashup name of the one guy…and these just generally sound like the most basic create-a-wrestler names. Prudius starts, Dango goes to the ramp to sit down and take a call while Prudius destroys the two jobbers. Dango gets the tag with a phone in his hand, slams Jobber number 1 into Prudius and then hits his Falling Inverted DDT for the win.

TNA Knockouts World Championship: Trinity vs Jordynne Grace (c)

We get a handshake, but Trinity doesn’t let go and clocks Jordynne out of nowhere. A few fast strikes, she even attempts Rear View quickly, but Jordynne ducks it. Trinity gets very physical, wrestles her down and tries to lock in Starstruck as well, but its too early and Jordynne breaks out. Trin keeps up the offense, even dropping Jordynne again and going for the Running Split cover, but only 2 again. Trinity seems to be running out of a steam a little as she tries to chase Jordynne from corner to corner, Jordynne gets her foot up twice, Up and Overs twice, and then slams Trinity down, finally getting a second to collect herself. Suicida from Jordynne but Trinity blocks it with a Bitch Slap before Jordynne dives.

Trinity slams Jordynne’s head into the turnbuckle, tries to get to the top from the apron, but Jordynne cuts her off, punches out the legs and Trinity crashes to the floor. Jordynne methodically heads out and starts picking Trinity apart. Jordynne’s offense is a little TOO methodical, Trinity manages a few kicks, Enzuigiri, corner Splash and she tries a suplex in the center of the ring; but Jordynne blocks and gives her one instead. Drives her into the corner, Splash Lariats into a Short Arm Lariat for 2. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but Trin fights out. Kick to the head and then an X Factor gives an opening to Trinity.

Trinity heads to the corner after Jordynne, two back elbows, Jordynne hits the ropes, but Trinity kicks her feet out, tries the Hanging Neckbreaker but Jordynne hangs on and hits a Vader Bomb for 2! Kudome Valentine attempt but Trinity has done great fighting out and keeping the match physical (wish this was the match they had at Hard to Kill). Trinity tries for the Bubba Bomb, but Jordynne slams her into the corner and blocks the offense. They head to the top, Superplex maybe but strikes and then Jordynne uses her knee to slam Trinity’s head into it. Superplex into Juggernaut Jackhammer, but Trinity kicks out!

Jordynne kicks at Trinity telling her to get up, Trinity slaps her and Jordynne peppers in a few strikes for insolence. Jordynne talks shit, Jawbreaker from Trin into the Bubba Bomb and Booty Pop Cradle for 2! Trinity keeps trying a Suplex, Spinning Backfist says no, Juggernaut Driver…but blocked again. Trin is thrown into the corner, they’re fighting back and forth, Kinniku Buster tease, but Trin fights out, Sunset flip into Locomotion Cradles, about a dozen cradles, Trinity tries Starstruck but Jordynne manages to turn it into a Cradle for the win!

SHAWntourage hits the ring, Trinity and Jordynne fight them off, but Gisele shows up with the X and takes out both women. Jai and Savannah hold Trinity, Gisele hits the Denouement and poses with the X. 

Nic Nemeth vs Zachary Wentz w/Trey Miguel

Nic seems to be starting off more with his Amateur Wrestling moves, Collar Elbows, Wheelbarrow takedowns, body positioning, leverage, none of this is flashy stuff, but it does remind everyone he’s more than just a Shawn Michaels knock off. Wentz a few quick flurries, but then he gets cocky and “tunes up the band”, only to annoy Nic and get him to get dropped with a nice Dropkick. Nic sidesteps a Back Handspring and sells his knee, so Nic tries to hit the ropes and take advantage, but Trey trips him and eats a V Trigger from Wentz. Wentz keeps control after the initial interference, and then when Nic is back in the ring and close to the ropes; Wentz distracts the referee and Trey interferes some more.

Wentz gets cocky, steals some Ziggler taunts and Nic finally finds an opening, runs Wentz from corner to corner, Splash, Slam and Jumping Elbow for 2. Superkick attempt from Ziggler but it misses, Roll Up with tights, but Nic kicks out, Nic charges the corner and misses, another Roll Up with tights but Nic keeps kicking out. A little bit of back and forth Cradles, but they stand and Nic hits the Stalling DDT for 2. Superkick is blocked again, Kneebreaker from Wentz, Back Handspring Knee from Wentz, Half Nelson Spinout Slam for 2. Wentz swings a Roundhouse Kick, misses and eats the Danger Zone! Nemeth wins!

Trey tries to attack Nemeth after, but is quickly thwarted. Maclin hits the ring, gets in a couple shots, looks to hit K.I.A. but Nic counters and Maclin eats a Danger Zone as well!

Dani Luna & Jody Threat vs MK Ultra (Killer Kelly & Masha Slamovich)

Jody and Luna had a little bit of chemistry during the Ultimate X match, and they make sense. Punk Rock styles from both, power and high energy. But our crazy S&M Voyeuristic Lesbians are looking to get right after being Shanghaied by Decay’s return. Dani ducks a double team after getting worked over, Jody with a head of steam, Double Knees to Kelly against the ropes, release German Suplex but Kelly kicks out at 2. Jody goes to the top, Masha distracts Jody, kicks Dani into the first row and Meeting in the Middle into a Tandem Power Breaker with a Rhea Ripley style pin from Kelly…so…lots of things to like. Oh yeah, MK win.

Equal opportunity sadists, they pose a little after their win and then beat up their opponents and hit the Tandem Power Breaker on Dani to make sure she knows how it feels as well. 

The System (Moose, Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards vs Money City Machine Guns (Kazuchika Okada, Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin)

Things almost break down immediately, but they stop and we get some Shelley versus Eddie action, until Sabin gets a blind tag and we see a little MCMG tandem offense that is…”legal”. Sabin works the arm, tags back in Shelley and I really enjoy the fact they’re slow rolling Okada. Shelley works into the corner, Sabin tags in, and MCMG doing their thing. Eddie does manage to find a little space to tag out to Brian Myers. Moose manages to tag in after Myers eats a lot of offense but gets away, Moose and the crowd want Okada…and we get Okada finally!

Some quick back and forth, Moose misses Light Out into the corner, Okada goes for the Rainmaker but Moose ducks it, and then Moose tags out, so Okada does as well. Eddie gets controlled immediately, Dragon Screws in the corner ropes, Dragon Screws in the middle of the ring, just the Oprah of Dragon Screws. Wishbone on Edwards, and Eddie’s gonna turn into Lieutenant Dan if this keeps up. Okada tags in, keeps up the leg work, a little more silly than usual (think balloon era Okada). But in usual Japanese tag style, the faces get a little too silly or have too much fun and that’s when the heels pick their spots to cheat and take over. Shelley gets beat on in the ring with Garvin stomps, thrown out and thrown around, even Lish gets involved in some of the shortcuts.

The offense is basic so not really worth going play by play, but Shelley has been eating offense for a few minutes straight. Moose comes in to square off at the beat up Shelley, Shelley tries to bait in an attack, tries Sliced Bread #2 but Moose stops it, Shelley clears out the enemy corner but Moose stays on him, Shelley sneaks a Flatliner into the middle turnbuckle for space but Eddie tags in and tries to stop Shelley’s tag by attacking the others on the apron. Shelley ducks a Yakuza Kick, so Eddie hits Myers, and Shelley tags in Sabin. Hot tag clears the ring and we come down to Eddie and Sabin. Superkick plus Lariat guns offense on Eddie, Slingshot Assist Cutter, Eddie tries to stop Sabin, Shelley pulls him off and a Yakuza Kick from Sabin goes wild and hits Shelley. Blue Thunder bomb on Sabin for 2. Sabin almost gets Tandem Superplexed but he fights it off, Tornado DDT kicking off Myers, simultaneous tags to Moose and Okada. Okada goes for the rope run Back Elbow but bounces off Moose a little, but still connected. So we see Okada controlling the match, but selling Moose’s size well even with the Reverse Neckbreaker, Elbow Drop, ZOOM OUT, Rain-NOPE Moose ducks it. Okada Dropkick on Moose, Moose then returns the Million Dollar Dropkick and simultaneous tags again! Eddie and Shelley now, Enzuigiri into Backpack Stunner from Eddie for 2.

Tiger Driver, but Sabin walks up Shelley’s back, Enzuigiri to break it up, High Speed Dirt from the Guns, but Myers got a blind tag. Myers tries to clean house, lines up a Roster Cut, but he eats a Dropkick from Okada and then a Rainmaker. Shellshock from Shelley and that’s the match!

Overall Score: 7/10

So this was a fun show, even if some of the early product was hit or miss there was a lot to like. Wentz’s match with Nic was gorgeous because Wentz did everything in his power to continue the comment from Maclin last week of people only wondering what happened to Dolph Ziggler. Wentz copied all the Ziggler taunts and mannerisms, and it just fueled Nic to take him out, and never hitting his own Superkick does two things; it protects Nemeth’s Superkick in case he uses it as like a psuedo finisher again, or it will slowly get him to remove it from his arsenal, further distancing the Dolph gimmick. Trinity and Jordynne’s match was what we should’ve gotten at Hard to Kill. Great contact, solid pacing, only hurt a little by the fact Trinity looked gassed kinda early, but I’m always entertained by locomotion Cradle spots.

Of course the main event was fun. Was it a formulaic Japanese 6 Man? Yes, very yes. But they slow rolled Okada’s involvement, gave him a big save, lots of fun offense from both sides and just generally a lot of good entertainment. Nothing really offensive and nothing mind blowingly brilliant. But definitely a solid show for people willing to give TNA another chance.


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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