Coverage

Mitchell’s NJPW New Japan Cup Results & Report! (3/15/24)

Will Souled Out #JustTapOut?

Published

4 months ago

March 15, 2024

Steven Mitchell

The Mighty Don’t Kneel, but will they be cheated?

The House of Torture has been stacking the deck on all their opponents, but Ren Narita is up against The Mighty’s Frontman, Zack Sabre Jr! Will ZSJ have the upper hand after he breaks Narita’s?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

Shoma Kato VS Katsuya Murashima; Time Limit Draw.
Callum Newman VS Mikey Nicholls; Mikey wins.
8 Man Tag: El Desperado, Togi Makabe, Tomoaki Honma & Boltin Oleg VS Just5Guys; Just5Guys win.
10 Man Tag: Hirooki Goto, YOSHI-HASHI, Tomohiro Ishii, Toru Yano & Ryusuke Taguchi VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club win(s).
10 Man Tag: Shota Umino, YOH, Tanga Loa, Hikuleo & Jado VS The House of Torture; Shota, Yoh, Loa, Leo & Jado win.
8 Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS The United Empire; The United Empire wins.
2024 New Japan Cup Second Round: El Phantasmo VS Yota Tsuji; Tsuji wins and advances.
2024 New Japan Cup Second Round: Zack Sabre Jr. VS Ren Narita; Narita wins and advances.

PLAY BY PLAY

2024 New Japan Cup Second Round: El Phantasmo w/ Jado VS Yota Tsuji!

The Headbanga is the last Guerrilla standing after both Tanga Loa & Hikuleo got taken out by Bullet Club, but Gene Blast is looking to keep pace with Shingo Takagi. Will ELP be the one to join “Daddy Shingo” next round? Or will Los Ingobernables de Japon continue to make things tranquilo?

ELP gets a “YOTA~!” chant going, then tries “E L P!” ELP measures it as more fans cheering him than Yota but Yota just smiles. The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two step up. ELP offers a fist bump but Yota declines. ELP says fine and blows a kiss. They circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock until ELP goes for an arm. ELP wristlocks but Yota slips around, only for ELP to wrench the arm again. Yota rolls, wrenches back, and he wristlocks. ELP reaches back, slips around to hammerlock, headlock then hit the takeover. Yota headscissors, ELP kips free but runs into a headlock takeover. ELP headscissors but Yota kips free, and the fans cheer.

Yota and ELP reset and ELP again gets fans to cheer “Yota~!” ELP and Yota feel things out, knuckle lock, and then Yota kicks low! Yota headlocks, grinds the hold, but ELP powers up. ELP powers out, but Yota runs him over! The fans cheer, then things speed up. ELP hurdles, Yota leaps over, but ELP sidesteps, only for Yota to RANA! ELP ends up in a corner, Yota BOOTS him right down! The fans fire up while Yota paces and ELP checks his face. ELP stands, gets in Yota’s face, then CHOPS! The fans applaud and Yota smiles. Yota comes back to ROCK ELP with a forearm! ELP ROCKS Yota right back, then eggs him on!

Yota grins, returns, and he ROCKS ELP again. ELP wobbles but stays standing. ELP paces around, has fans hush, and then winds up to CHOP! Good echo but Yota brushes that off. ELP blocks Yota’s chop to knuckle lock, CHOP and go up, up and around to FLYING RANA! The fans fire up as ELP handsprings up, then clotheslines Yota up and out! The fans rally, ELP builds speed and DIVES into a GAMANGIRI! ELP flops to the floor but Yota brings him up. Yota whips ELP hard into railing! ELP falls back, Yota brings him up again, and puts him into the ring. The fans applaud, and Yota stomps ELP around.

Yota drags ELP up, bumps him off buckles, and ELP sits down. Yota stalks ELP, bumps him off more buckles, then clamps on a cravat. Yota snapmares ELP to then put on a body scissor squeeze! ELP endures, pries at Yota’s feet, but Yota wraps on a chinlock. ELP gets free of the body scissors to have the ROPEBREAK! Yota lets off while fans applaud, and then Yota hauls ELP up. Yota scoops and SLAMS! The fans rally, Yota runs and SPLASHES! Cover, TWO! ELP huffs and puffs as he stays in this and the fans rally up. Yota looms over ELP, kicks at him, and taunts him. ELP CHOPS, but Yota shrugs it off.

ELP frowns, stands, and CHOPS again! And CHOPS again! And CHOPS again! Yota felt those, and he knees low! Yota whips, ELP ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl and DDT! The fans fire up while both men are down, then they rally up as Jado pounds the apron. ELP flounders his way to a corner, Yota stands up and runs in, but into a BOOT! Yota comes back, ELP goes up an dover then ducks ‘n’ dodges to springboard CROSSBODY! Somersault to LIONSAULT but ELP lands out as Yota moves! Yota bails out, but ELP somersaults to the apron to then TORNADO DDT to the floor! The fans fire up with ELP as he shakes railing!

ELP drags Yota up, puts Yota in, and then goes up the ropes to springboard SWANTON, then LIONSAULTS! Cover, TWO! Yota stays in this and the fans rally up more. ELP kips up and the fans cheer as he tunes up the band. Yota rises, ELP runs up, but Yota blocks Sudden Death! Yota spins ELP but ELP ROLLING ELBOWS! ELP runs, but Yota scoops him for a BACKBREAKER! The fans fire up while both men are down again. ELP goes to a corner, Yota runs in, but ELP avoids the splash! ELP blocks a boot, but Yota brings him in for the STOMP! The fans rally, ELP checks his face and Yota fires up.

ELP flounders around while the fans rally up more. ELP stands and Yota reels him in. But ELP fights the suplex! ELP throws body shots, wrenches and straitjackets to torture rack! BRAIN- NO, Yota lands out to then BOOT ELP! ELP flops out of the ring while the fans fire up. Yota goes out to fetch ELP, and he hits an APRON BACK SUPLEX! ELP writhes on the edge, Yota storms up after him, and Yota drags ELP up. The fans fire up with Yota, but ELP fights the suplex! Yota still tries but ELP fights the suplex again! ELP knees low, CLUBS Yota on the neck, then SUDDEN DEATH! ELP reels Yota in and tucks the arms!!

The fans fire up but Yota fights CR2, to V-TRIGGER! ELP flounders, Yota gets space, and FLYING- NO, ELP avoids the stomp! ELP goes up the corner to ASAI- NO, Yota dodges the moonsault! ELP hobble sup, into the FLYING STOMP!! The fans fire up while both men are down on the outside! Yota rises and the fans fire up with him as he slides into the ring. The count begins while Jado coaches ELP. ELP stirs at 5 of 20, crawls around and drags himself up at 8, and stands at 12. ELP flops back down at 14! The fans rally ELP stands, but flops again at 18! ELP slides in at 19.5, into the CURB STOMP!!

The fans fire up with Yota as he then brings ELP back up. ELP leans against Yota then slumps back down. The ref checks but ELP says he can still go. So Yota hauls him up and CHOPS him down! Yota then stands ELP up, whips him to a corner, then runs corner to corner to STINGER SPLASH! Yota puts ELP up top, climbs up and fires forearms. ELP throws body shots! ELP HEADBUTTS Yota down! ELP stands, wobbles, and Yota GAMANGIRIS! Yota goes to the very top and he brings ELP up! SUPER SPANISH FLY!! Cover, TWO!! ELP survives and the fans are thunderous! ELP stirs but Yota aims from the corner!

The fans rally as ELP drags himself up with ropes. Yota runs in, but ELP hurdles over! SUDDEN DEATH!! Both men are down but ELP crawls towards the cover! TWO!!! Yota survives and the fans are thunderous again! ELP rises, slaps himself to fire back up, and he roars! ELP brings Yota up, reels him in, but Yota back drops! ELP sunset flips but Yota sits on it! TWO and ELP sunset flips! TWO and Yota prawn holds! TWO and ELP ghost pins! TWO!!! Yota narrowly escapes, and then V-TRIGGERS! And SUPERKICKS! And ORANGE CRUSH!! Cover, TWO!?! ELP survives and the fans are electric!

Yota pounds the mat, roars, and the fans are with him! Yota aims as ELP slowly rises. Yota runs in, GENE- FACEBUSTER!? ELP then tucks the arms and lifts Yota, C R 2!!! Cover, TWO?!?!? No one can believe it but Yota survives!! The fans rally and duel, “YO~TA!” “E L P!” and the two stir. ELP hobbles but then drops to his knees. Yota still grins!? ELP brings Yota around to fire a forearm! Yota grits his teeth, and he forearms in return! ELP fires another forearm, and he eggs Yota on! Yota grins as he rises back up, and the two stand for Yota to DECK ELP! But ELP rises right up! The fans fire up as ELP staggers over to ROCK Yota!

Yota still smiles as he comes back for more! Yota ROCKS ELP, ELP ROCKS Yota, and repeat! The forearms go back and forth, and then ELP staggers. Yota eggs ELP on, so ELP comes back with a flurry! Yota roars and fires a flurry in return! ELP SLAPS and SLAPS and CHOPS and CHOPS, but swings into the BACKBREAKER, COMPLETE SHOT, but ELP avoids the stomp! BOOT and ENZIGIRI! But Yota HEABUTTS! ELP runs in, into a SPINEBUSTER and V-TRIGGER!! ELP sputters, Yota STOMPS him in the face! The fans are thunderous as Yota powers up! Yota goes up and up and FLYING STOMPS!! Cover, Yota wins!

Winner: Yota Tsuji, by pinfall (advances to the next round)

The Headbanga avoided the Gene Blast but not the stomps, and the Guerrillas are done in the New Japan Cup. Yota keeps pace with Shingo Takagi, will LIJ look to dominate the Cup?

2024 New Japan Cup Second Round: Zack Sabre Jr. VS Ren Narita!

TMDK’s Front Man has won the New Japan Cup twice before, and is looking to get a third. However, the House of Torture wants to completely dominate NJPW! Will Souled Out #JustTapOut? Or will the House stack the deck like always?

Well, at least Narita is putting all cards on the table by having the whole House of Torture accompany him out here. All ZSJ has is Mikey Nicholls! The House all put one out together while ZSJ gets impatient. Surprisingly, it seems the House is leaving ringside. Is this just a fake out? ZSJ says he’s not an idiot, but only time will tell. But then Red Shoes asks that out of fairness, Mikey should go to the back, too. Mikey says okay, right, wink wink. Mikey goes back up the ramp and the fans applaud the sportsmanship. The bell rings, the fans rally up for ZSJ as he and Narita circle. They feel things out, and then ZSJ rushes in with a leg guard.

Narita holds off the takedown, tries a lateral press but ZSJ slips around. Narita facelocks, ZSJ waistlocks, they switch back and forth. ZSJ goes for a leg but Narita goes the waistlock, but ZSJ gets away. The fans cheer this opening exchange and the two reset. They feel things out again, clinch, and ZSJ facelocks to then headlock and takeover. Narita headscissors, ZSJ kips free, but Narita narrowly avoids the Penalty Kick! The fans cheer while Narita bails out and paces around. ZSJ waits on Narita and Narita slides in. They circle again, feel out another knuckle lock, but then Narita CLAWS ZSJ’s eyes and CLUBS away!

Red Shoes reprimands but Narita stomps ZSJ. Narita fires forearms in the corner, reels ZSJ in, but ZSJ UPPERCUTS The fans rally as ZSJ yanks Narita’s shirt off to UPPERCUT again! ZSJ UPPERCUTS Narita, runs, but Narita kitchen sink knees! Narita hurries to TOSS ZSJ out hard! Narita then goes out after ZSJ and whips him hard into railing! ZSJ hobbles around and falls through the gate, but Narita brings him to the back end of the crowd! Narita CLUBS ZSJ, then whips him the wall! ZSJ goes up and around to get Narita in a COBRA TWIST! The fans cheer as Narita endures with no way to get free!

Red Shoes reprimands, though, this has to be in the ring. ZSJ shoves Narita down and rallies the fans up. ZSJ drags Narita up, UPPERCUTS him, and then stalks him back to ringside. ZSJ UPPERCUTS Narita to keep him moving and Narita flops his way over. ZSJ stands Narita to UPPERCUT, then snapmare and KICK Narita in the back! The fans cheer while ZSJ goes to the apron. ZSJ gets the fans to rally up more, and then he aims at Narita. Narita ducks the kick and YANKS ZSJ down! Narita then whips ZSJ hard into railing! ZSJ even tumbles up and over and all over English commentary! Narita then storms over to drag ZSJ back up.

Narita whips ZSJ hard into more railing, and then BOOTS him over! ZSJ falls into No Man’s Land, but then Narita has fans clear out! Young Lions help the fans move back, and Narita clears more space by kicking chairs around. Narita runs up to NECKBREAKER DROP ZSJ against railing! Fans boo but Narita is going all out for this one. Narita gets a chair, Red Shoes reprimands but Narita shoves him aside. Narita aims, and he JAMS ZSJ in the gut! But Red Shoes stops Narita from going any further! The fans cheer, so Narita just CLOBBERS ZSJ with a fan’s chair! Narita argues with Red Shoes then goes back for ZSJ.

Narita CLUBS ZSJ on the neck, CLUBS him against the railing, and then goes to the other side so he can CLUB ZSJ again and again! Narita dumps ZSJ to ringside, SMACKS him off the apron and then puts him on the apron, so he can run and BOOT ZSJ down! Narita grins and the ring count starts. Narita waits on ZSJ to rise up at 7 of 20 to CLUB him then leave him behind. ZSJ still rolls in at 13 and the fans cheer. Narita clamps on with a chinlock, and he twists ZSJ’s nose! Red Shoes reprimands, Narita pushes ZSJ down under the ropes, for the CATAPULT GUILLOTINE! ZSJ coughs and sputters, but then Narita digs his boot in!

Red Shoes reprimands but ZSJ eggs Narita on! Narita stomps ZSJ as he lets off, but the fans rally up. Narita brings ZSJ around to headlock, and he scrapes ZSJ off the top rope! Red Shoes reprimands, Narita shoves ZSJ down, and Narita grins as he paces around. Narita drags ZSJ up, whips him to ropes, and ELBOWS him down! Cover, ONE!! The fans fire up but Narita brings ZSJ back up. Narita puts ZSJ in the cobra twist, but ZSJ switches that onto Narita! Narita switches it onto ZSJ, ZSJ switches it back! The fans fire up as ZSJ has it locked in, but Narita pulls on an ear! Red Shoes reprimands, Narita CLUBS the ear then BOOTS ZSJ down! Cover, TWO!

Narita grows frustrated and he scuffs ZSJ. Narita eggs ZSJ on, slaps him around, then runs. Narita BOOTS, but ZSJ stays up. ZSJ eggs Narita on so Narita BOOTS! ZSJ runs, but into a BOOT! Narita runs, but ZSJ dodges and he BOOTS Narita down! The fans fire up again while ZSJ checks his eyes and ear. ZSJ stalks Narita, brings him around and UPPERCUTS! ZSJ whips, Narita reverses but ZSJ turns knee into roll-up! TWO, but ZSJ has the legs! BOW ‘N’ ARROW! Narita endures so ZSJ sits him up to DROPKICK him down! The fans fire up while Narita writhes. ZSJ drags Narita up, but Narita fights the nelson.

Narita elbows free, knees low, underhooks, but ZSJ wrenches to PELE the arm! ZSJ then picks a leg, rolls back, and WRINGS the arm! Narita writhes and the fans rally up again. ZSJ eggs Narita on and Narita sits up, into a KICK! Narita sits up again, into another KICK! And another KICK! ZSJ wrenches Narita’s arm, but Narita ENZI- NO, ZSJ blocks the kick and has the legs hooked up! ZSJ SLAPS Narita’s sides to get the arms, and then the fans rally as ZSJ goes up and up and away! ROMERO SPECIAL! Narita endures, then ZSJ drops him to STOMP both knees! The fans fire up at the savagery, and ZSJ gets an ANKLE LOCK!

Narita flails around and reaches out for ropes! Narita grabs at Red Shoes, but ZSJ KICKS that arm! Narita takes a swing but into the FUJIWARA ARMBAR! ZSJ makes it a DISARMER! And sits deep! ZSJ gets the other arm, for the JIM BREAKS ARMBAR! Narita endures, even as ZSJ pushes on the arms! Narita reaches out with a leg for the ROPEBREAK! ZSJ lets off and the fans rally up. ZSJ waits on Narita to sit up, but Narita blocks the kick! Narita SLAPS ZSJ, then runs to NECKBREAKER DROP! Both men are down and the fans rally up again. Narita slaps his leg into working, and he drags ZSJ up.

Narita puts ZSJ in ropes to pull him back! Red Shoes reprimands then counts, Narita lets off at 4. Narita ROCKS ZSJ with a forearm, then brings him around. Narita ROCKS ZSJ again, then stalks him back to ropes. ZSJ eggs Narita on so Narita fires another forearm. ZSJ ROCKS Narita! Narita staggers to a corner, the fans rally and ZSJ nods. ZSJ eggs Narita on again, so Narita storms up. Narita fires a forearm, ZSJ ROCKS Narita! And ROCKS him! And ROCKS him again! Narita knees low, CLUBS ZSJ, but ZSJ UPPERCUTS! ZSJ runs, DOUBLE BOOTS take both men down! Narita is busted right open!

The fans fire up as ZSJ stands, but Narita fights the scoop! So ZSJ wrenches, YANKS the arm, and UPPERCUTS, but Narita hooks him to spin him, EXPLODER BRIDGE! TWO!! ZSJ escapes and the fans fire up but Narita staggers up. Narita runs up, KNEE STOMP! Cover, TWO!! ZSJ survives and the fans rally again. Narita stands, grins through the blood, and he runs to BOOT ZSJ down! Narita eggs ZSJ on, runs up, and BOOTS ZSJ down again! Cover, ONE?!? The fans fire up as ZSJ shows his grit! Narita runs up, ZSJ gets around the boot to O’Conner BRIDGE! TWO!! Narita has the SLEEPER! But ZSJ rolls back, has the arms, EURO CLUTCH!! TWO!!!

Narita escapes, scrambles up, and swings, but ZSJ gets around! Full nelson, DRAGON SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! Narita survives and the fans fire back up! ZSJ stands Narita back up, but Narita swings! ZSJ SLAPS him down first! The fans fire up with ZSJ and he brings Narita right up. ZSJ scoops, for the ZACK- NO, Narita slips free, SLEEPER into the COBRA TWIST! ZSJ endures, eggs Narita on, so Narita puts on the pressure! ZSJ reaches out but he is fading! ZSJ gets a second wind! ZSJ claws his way forward and the fans rally, but ZSJ is fading again! ZSJ’s all purple, but he revives again, ROPEBREAK!!

The fans fire up, we pass 20 minutes, and Narita drags ZSJ up to CLUB him down. Narita goes up a corner, leaps, FLYING KNEE STOMP!! Cover, TWO!! ZSJ survives but Narita slashes his throat! Narita reels ZSJ in for the DOUBLEC- NO, ZSJ MONKEY FLIPS Narita! Narita holds off the armbar, stacks ZSJ and goes for the ARMBAR, but ZSJ floats to the ARMBAR! Narita fights around, hands clasped, but ZSJ lifts him up and pops him back into the ARMBAR! Narita fights around but ends up in a TRIANGLE HOLD! Narita stacks ZSJ and stomps at him! ZSJ pulls the arm for a modified Triangle!

Narita is fading but here comes The House! But also Mikey! Mikey YANKS Yujiro & Jack Perry down to drag them away, but he is only one man! Kanemaru slides in to WHISKEY MIST ZSJ!! The fans boo as Mikey does what he can, but the House gets loose! Red Shoes tells them all to go away but Jack & Yujiro double kick to double whip Mikey. But Mikey DOUBLE LARIATS them! The fans are thunderous, and Mad Mikey hurries to get Yujiro and Jack outta there. But Kanemaru distracts Red Shoes so that Evil & Dick can sneak in from the other side! They slide in to get ZSJ up! MAGIC- NO, ZSJ fights free!

ZSJ avoids Everything is Evil and he BOOTS Evil! But Narita CLOBBERS ZSJ with the push-up bar!! Fans boo but Narita hits the DOUBLECROSS!!! Cover, Narita wins!

Winner: Ren Narita, by pinfall (advances to the next round)

The entire House was needed, but they still brought down The Front Man! What is TMDK to do now?

As for Narita, well, it’s a good thing he doesn’t wanna stick around to talk, no one wants to hear him. But will the luck run out on the House of Torture’s bag of tricks soon enough? Or will nothing stop them from taking over NJPW?

My Thoughts:

Another great night for NJPW. Awesome match from Tsuji VS ELP, though I figured Tsuji was advancing per the LIJ story. And I’m a little surprised ZSJ got cheated. Well, no, I’m surprised he lost, I thought he was going to defy the cheating and advance. It seems my other prediction is coming true: LIJ is going to clash with the House of Torture, and hopefully Tsuji takes Narita down, probably with help from LIJ.

My Score: 8.8/10

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

Published

50 mins ago

July 26, 2024

Steven Mitchell

The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

Published

21 hours ago

July 25, 2024

Andrew Balaz

Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it.

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”.

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!