Connect with us

Cheap Shots

CheapShots: Impact Quickie #10

Published

on

Allie Impact Wrestling

Fault lines in Orlando continued to fluctuate at a typical pace for Impact Wrestling. Thankfully, Don Callis was back on commentary. Although, the storyline that produced his recent injuries is still being needlessly perpetrated by third-graders, including Callis himself. The show’s opening match was just window dressing for a feud that won’t die. It feels like bookers don’t even try to think anymore. “We have nothing for Sami Callihan, but we’re still paying him so let’s keep flipping this roadkill as often as we can.” Why is Alicia Edwards continuously brought in to appear helpless? Why was she taking the kendo stick shot a month ago? It was one thing to bring her in to compete opposite Angelina Love. Don’t use her like this.

Nothing Impact is doing with this storyline can make me care about it. Congratulations Mr. Edwards, you have gone from being a top independent athlete to a glorified hooker.

We enter the less psychotic portion of the program with a tag match that came from simple origins. LAX has been struggling recently thanks to a void in leadership. Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley ran into Santana & Ortiz after The Latinos suffered their second straight loss. The “Cult” members challenged them to a rematch. This time, without Konnan backing them up like he was weeks ago. The contest was relatively even, including a fight on the outside of the ring. Despite the coin flip nature of things, LAX lost their third match in a row and the dejection was obvious. Surprisingly, most of this week’s promos and vignettes look like they will lead to interesting developments.

Let’s start with a very agitated LAX back at their clubhouse in a rather destructive mood. Suddenly, a voice of reason can be heard. This is Eddie Kingston, informing the crew that Konnan is alright and currently residing with Homicide in a safehouse. Fans have not seen Senior Jamaica for quite a while. We have no idea if this is a swerve device for down the road. Though, it is nice to see new blood that will move things forward. With that information tucked away, we go backstage for an interview with DJZ & Andrew Everett. Shock of shocks, the new Tag Team Champions are interrupted by Scott Steiner. The Roided Up Redneck can barely get through his promo. Eli Drake runs in, doing his best to hold his pit bull back. Dude, you know that’s Scott Steiner, right?

As the tag champs are visibly amused, I can’t help but wonder if The Self-Induced Hyphen can keep his hired gun from going off long enough to get his rematch for The Gold? Sadly, there was no recess this week. However, Madison Rayne was interviewed regarding her issues with Tessa Blanchard. She was unable to get three sentences out before The Horsewoman herself came in to play the “stay-at-home mom” card. Daddy taught you well young lady.

Later, we see a video package with Knockouts Champion Allie assuming some of the midnight characteristics of her missing protector. It seems the leader of The Hivelings left a note for her bunny. “Don’t let the darkness consume you…” Allie’s response? “I know you don’t want me to do this, but it’s something I have to do.” Keep in mind, Rosemary is NOT dead! The Bunny’s challenge might be coming from a character in a bad horror movie. I still don’t like her chances to retain Gold. Impact brought the zombie in. They must shove her down our throats.

Both Knockouts contests will take place next week. Our final promo of the night finds Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs rehashing their beatdown of Grado. Reminding Moose that interjecting himself last week was a bad move. This was the last time we would see The Dragged-Out Disco standing upright…

Apparently, I was misinformed last week. Just a smark folks, not a true insider. My apologies if people are actually disappointed to learn this. Get a life! The showdown with Matt Sydal and El Hijo Del Fantasma for X Division Gold took place this week. The match was decent if not illogical in one particular spot. An Indian Death Lock should’ve given The Son of The Ghost The Championship. If he doesn’t roll Sydal to the ropes, it does. Why does the art form need to LOOK like a work? PS: These are Cruiserweights. Not every high spot should be missed on purpose. A wrestling ring is not a balance beam. Sydal retained Gold by countering The Thrill of The Kill with a modified rollup for the victory.

A one-on-one match featuring Petey Williams and Dezmond Xavier was next. The contest featured a rather poisonous carrot for the winner. Don Callis mentioned that the dude representing The Maple Leaf was too fixated on using The Canadian Destroyer. I tend to agree. Williams is a solid performer. Outside of the fact that the person taking the move is working harder than the one giving it, he waits too long to pull it off. Xavier has Top-5 American Cruiserweight written all over him. His time in Orlando is coming, assuming someone down there has a brain. Unfortunately for him, they also have a generational athlete named Brian Cage; and with the victory, Xavier earned an opportunity to face the freak next week. A very twisted reward indeed. Good luck kid!

Main Event time! In the previously mentioned promo, Jimmy Jacobs said he was a good guy who was simply rectifying Grado’s accusation from last week when Moose got involved. The Ball Player’s intervention led to this week’s encounter. Moose comes out to his typical entrance. Kongo Kong follows suit, with one notable exception. Where was The Dragged-Out Disco? We would find out soon enough. First, I must try to be nice, no guarantees. Unless Jimmy’s Giant Stutter is working his match and his offense, it comes across as difficult to watch him in a ring. Moose is a great athlete. His move set was so basic when attacking Kong. Without his mouthpiece, the bigger man looked aimless at times. He lost a very boring fight.

What happened to Jimmy Jacobs? The last relayed image of this episode told us. He was indeed laid out in the locker room with an X on his chest. Our mystery assailant has struck again! They don’t appear to discern between baby faces or heels in searching for victims. This alone is excessively rare in the art form. This could be very interesting. Especially if Impact bookers pay off the angle with an identity next week. Even if they don’t, I am still looking forward to both Knockouts matches along with Austin Aries’ return match with Pentagon Jr. for Impact Gold. Outside of Edwards & Callihan, Impact continues to impress with roster usage, flexibility, and storyline development. The company is slowly growing on this smart mark.


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


Advertisement
Comments

Cheap Shots

CheapShots: A Letter To WWE Fan Boys

Published

on

WWE

Stop. Just stop it. The over-positivity towards the WWE product is ridiculous. WWE is not the greatest thing on the planet right now. It is not all golden flowers and rainbows. Before I dive deep into all this let me say that I am a fan of WWE. But, I have enough sense to know that if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then guess what, it’s a duck. I have no problem on calling them on the BS and craziness that goes on from time to time. No, the product in not the best it has ever been. Scripted promos alone are enough to make me want to vomit. The stale characterization of the characters and the fact that they are all basically the same cookie cutter version of what a WWE superstar should be is ridiculous. Here are a few things that I am sick of hearing every single day.

image via WWE

Money, Money, Money.

WWE is a money making machine, there is no denying it. One thing that I am constantly hearing is “Oh well WWE is making more money now then they have ever had, so that means the product is the best ever!” Well…no…when a company goes public, and are the only wrestling game in town of course they are making money. You need to understand how business works. Do a quick search of WWE and just look into all the divisions of the company. Look at the subsidiaries that they own, along with the companies that they have invested in such as owning 50% of the brand TapOut. Wrestling is not there only sourcing of income, hence the entertainment in their name. WWE is constantly expanding, evolving, and venturing into other things that make money, hence why they are making more money now than ever before. Yes, they got a ton of money for Smackdown. But, you have to take into account that it was bought from a company that is selling their movie division and only have TV as a source of income. With less and less people streaming everything and no one watching TV anymore, of course stations are going to foam at the mouth to get a TV show that has been on as long as Smackdown has any type of ratings, and the sponsors that come along with it. That is just good business, but that does not justify the wrestling product that they are currently putting out.

Greatest Roster Ever

“The roster now is the best roster we have ever had in WWE.” Wake up Alice cause this is not Wonderland. Do you not remember the greatness that was the WWE roster of 2002, or were you even born yet? Here is a bit of that Roster, Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold, The Rock, Chris Jericho, Edge, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Booker T, RVD, Rey Mysterio, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, HHH, John Cena, Randy Orton, DDP, Ric Flair. I will just leave this here and wait for you to retract your ridiculous statement.

If you don’t like it then don’t watch it

Boy, am I sick and tired of hearing this poor attempt of retort. What are you 10? You can complain about something and guess what still watch it. I have never watched anything and never had only positive things to say about it. I can watch a NJPW match, and talk about how bad WWE is in comparison. Why? Because, it’s not a matter of me not liking WWE, Just because someone puts something down that you eat, sleep, and breathe doesn’t mean they don’t like it. The main reason people compare a NJPW match to what WWE is doing, isn’t just to bash it, but it is because we know how great WWE can be. Honestly, it sucks to see WWE out done, and I wish they would get their heads out of their asses and put on consistently great matches.

image via WWE

Stop being a Yes man.

You don’t have to hate on every aspect of WWE, positivity is a good thing. But when you like every single thing that WWE does you need to get your head checked. You need to utilize that WWE network subscription and go back and watch something other than the current product. There is good and bad in every generation of wrestling, but we are not living in the renaissance age, witnessing the 2nd coming of wrestling. So take a breath, and try to dislike something of the current product and stop being a corporate robot.


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


Continue Reading

Cheap Shots

Are McIntyre, Lashley, And Roode WWE Top Guy Material?

Published

on

So there was a lot of buzz about Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley making their debuts on the Main Roster after WrestleMania. A lot of people have been predicting that McIntyre and/or Lashley were going to be Universal Champion before the year out, and even predicted that Lashley would be the one to unseat Brock Lesnar. The same has been said, to some degree, about Bobby Roode. Here’s the problem: The only way any of these guys going to get close to the Universal Title is if WWE has another plague of injuries.

Now, before you all get mad, hear me out. I’m not saying that McIntyre, Lashley, and Roode aren’t talented, because they are and their records speak for themselves. The problem is that WWE has a huge pool of talented guys on its Main Roster and a lot of established stars, which means McIntyre, Lashley, and Roode are likely going to spend their careers in the mid-cards, at least on RAW. They might have slightly better luck on SmackDown, but I wouldn’t bet everything on that pony either.

Let’s look at each guy and see what could possibly hold them back in WWE.

Drew McIntyre: McIntyre has a lot to recommend him, at least on paper. He’s got a great look and a lot of talent. His promos leave a little to be desired, but that’s not a dealbreaker on its own. The problem with McIntyre is that his gimmick hasn’t changed that much from his first run in WWE. His look isn’t that unique compared to other guys on the roster and neither is his moveset.

Bobby Lashley: Lashley’s pros are many: Great look, lots of talent, but his cons are going to be a real problem sooner than later. The biggest con is his total lack of a personality. He seems like a nice guy, but there is no real discernible personality that I can detect and that’s going to be just as big a problem now as it was back during his first WWE run.

Bobby Roode: Of the three guys in this article, Bobby Roode has the most sterling record. He’s a multi-time World Champion and Tag Champion before he came to NXT. He’s got a great look and a ton of talent, and he’s good on the mic. The problem with Roode is 1. His age, he’s 41. and 2. Roode is not a good WWE babyface. In TNA, he was at his best as a heel or tweener in singles and tag team, but I’m also not sure that turning him heel is going to help in WWE.

‘Wait’ I can hear you saying ‘All three of these guys were World Champions outside of WWE and/or in NXT. How can they not be destined to be Universal Champion or WWE Champion?’. Well, the simple answer is that the indy scene, NXT, and TNA have smaller pools of top tier talent, which makes it easier for talented guys that are usually relegated to the mid or low card in WWE to leapfrog straight to the top. Cody Rhodes is a prime example of that.

Again, I’m not denigrating the talents of any of these guys, or the guys coming up that are going to be in the same boat. What I am saying is that WWE has a top tier talent rich pool on RAW and SmackDown and guys like McIntyre, Lashley, and Roode are likely not going to get close to the top spot like they easily could outside WWE.


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


Continue Reading

Cheap Shots

Cheap Shots: Is There Such Thing As The Face Of A Franchise?

Published

on

After Saturday’s match at Dominion and the final chapter (for now) in Okada Vs. Kenny Omega, it is now safe to say that Kenny Omega is truly the global face of NJPW. But is that true for every promotion? As a kid growing up watching wrestling in the 90’s it was Stone Cold Steve Austin that ran the WWE, in the 00’s it was John Cena, but there isn’t such a clear cut figure anymore for the WWE, Impact or ROH. Is there really a need for figure heads? In my opinion, the wrestling world has become so overly developed with new talent that its hard to pinpoint who is that face and there’s more of an opinion as to who that is.

The WWE want Roman Reigns to be that guy, but that’s a ship that has already sunk. Some say Seth Rollins and his run with the success of the Intercontinental Championship has made him the guy, and other may say that whoever AJ Styles goes, he is “the face that runs the place.” Impact has always struggled with finding that face, while Styles was there, he was it. Impact may have a suitable face in Eli Drake, being with the company since 2015. Surprisingly  Impact continue to look outwards for talent when the talent they have in house has proven to be effective.While ROH has had a swinging door of wrestlers that were once their staple player. The Young Bucks, Jay Lethal, or semi-newly acquired Cody could be considered for ROH.

In the 1980’s Hulk Hogan was that guy, he was that guy to a lot of people. He spear headed WWE into more than just being a wrestling program, but in being a significant part of pop culture. It has only been in recent years that wrestling has blurred the lines between a wrestling program and a part of this pop culture bubble we live in. With Twitter and Instagram, wrestlers have a bigger platform to connect with fans. Total Divas turned the Bellas and now The Miz and company into reality TV sensations. The Young Bucks have used Youtube to produce their “Being The Elite” series and they have created an empire without the letters WWE in front of their names. The world of wrestling and pop culture has become intertwined with one another that fans have gotten to choose who they want to be the face of their favourite programming. That is the thing that WWEs creative is missing. It isn’t about who you build up to be this powerhouse anymore. There’s so much talent and so many means to watch it that I think it’s impossible to build a franchise figure as much as the WWE want to believe. 

So what makes Kenny Omega different? He wasn’t pushed in the sense that he wasn’t involved in every match in every storyline. He organically grew as a fan favourite with Ibushi and eventually with the Bullet Club he had a storyline that spanned out over a few year and his rise to the top is like the ending of movie, but it was built slowly and surely. 

So are we being blinded by this idea that there needs to be a face that runs a franchise that wrestling has created? In a sense, yes. But as the wrestling landscape changes, so do the fans, essentially the promotions should catch on, but until then we’ll all be debating who is hat where for the foreseeable future. 


Always Use Your Head and visit the official Pro Wrestling Tees store for The Chairshot All t-shirt proceeds help support the advancement of your favorite hard-hitting wrestling website, The Chairshot!


Continue Reading

Connect on Facebook

Advertisement
Advertisement

Trending Today