We have a NEW Lucha Underground Champion, who was also the NEW Gift of the Gods Champion for one night only. What will happen in the Moth Era of the Temple?
Gifs can be found on http://frentique.tumblr.com/
- Sacrifice to the Gods Match: Matanza Cueto VS Jack Evans; Matanza wins and Evans is sacrificed.
- Lucha Underground Trios Championships: The Reptile Tribe VS Ivelisse, Joey Ryan & XO Lishus; The Reptile Tribe wins and retains the Lucha Underground Trios Championships.
- 2v1 Nunchaku Match: Aerostar & Drago VS Jake Strong; Strong wins.
- Lucha Underground Championship #1 Contenders Fatal 4 Way: Pentagon Dark VS King Cuerno VS Mil Muertes VS El Dragon Azteca Jr; Pentagon wins and will face Marty “The Moth” Martinez for the title at Ultima Lucha 4.
PLAY BY PLAY
Matt Striker reads Antonio Cueto’s message on-air as requested.
From the Desk of Antonio Cueto:
Last week, four men all had the same dream: being in the main event of Ultima Lucha. But those dreams were crushed in one action-packed hour of the Lucha Underground telecast. First, Marty the Moth ended El Dragon Azteca’s dream when he won the Gift of the Gods title. Then after Pentagon Dark dashed the dreams of Mil Muertes and King Cuerno by retaining the Lucha Underground title, Marty the Moth swooped in and defeated Pentagon for that belt, and completely changed the landscape of the Temple.
We are left with many questions. Would Pentagon have lost if he hadn’t just been through a hellacious three-way war? Would Marty have been able to beat Mil Muertes or King Cuerno? And would El Dragon Azteca still be the Gift of the Gods Champion if not for the vicious attack of Fenix? So it seems all of these men have a legitimate claim to being #1 contender. Only one will realize the dream of main eventing Ultima Lucha. Tonight, in our main event, these four men will do battle with each other, and the winner will face The Moth for the Lucha Underground Championship at Ultima Lucha Quatro.
Signed, Antonio Cueto.
What a major move by Padre del Jefe! Who will survive when darkness, death and dreams collide?
Jack Evans is in the ring.
The mouth of the Worldwide Underground takes the mic from Melissa Santos before his match begins, and claims to speak for everyone when he says, “Shut up.” The fans tell Jack to shut up, but Jack knows everyone deep-down would love to see a match from Lucha’s One True God, him. Well too bad, this isn’t happening! He’s not going to compete in a promotion that allows such a “dastardly and vile individual like XO Lishus fight freely!” And on top of all that, Jack is worried about Johnny Mundo after the incident at the wedding. Jack was in no shape to participate, but had he been there, he would’ve ripped Matanza’s head off! “But alas”, there will be no match for Jack, not at all. Because while he said “No Mas” in the match, he’s saying “I Quit” tonight!
But Antonio Cueto appears! And he tells Jack that “Nobody likes quitters.” However, Antonio is compassionate and hears the complaints. Antonio makes it clear: Jack will compete tonight. And if Jack wins, he can walk right out that door. But if he loses, Jack will never walk out of the Temple again. Because he has been chosen… as the next Sacrifice to the Gods!!
Sacrifice to the Gods Match: Matanza Cueto VS Jack Evans!
This is not at all what Jack wanted! Jack apologizes but then runs for it! He hurries up the stairs, but the door won’t open! And when it finally does, The Monster God is there! Jack says one last prayer, before Matanza grabs him by the throat. Jack manages to break free and he runs back down the stairs. Matanza gives chase and Antonio trips Jack up. Believers chant “Sacrifice!” as Matanza reaches ringside. Jack gets in the ring but Mantaza has him by the foot! Matanza drags Jack out to gut wrench powerbomb him on the apron! Jack crumbles and writhes, but Matanza is far from done with him. Matanza picks Jack up and hauls him into the ring. He dumps Jack in like a sack, and Jack barely stirs as fans rally.
The bell rings and this match finally begins. Matanza drags Jack up for body shots, but then misses the splash. Jack goes up and over and spins but his kick misses. Matanza has Jack in a waistlock, but Jack grabs at the corner. Matanza yanks Jack back, Jack rips off the buckle pad! Jack elbows away on Matanza, but can’t get free. So he runs at the exposed buckle, and manages to drive Mantaza into it! Matanza staggers, Jack springboards and hits the spinning kick! He doesn’t cover yet, he climbs up top. Jack hits a 630!! Cover, TWO as Matanza sits right up. Matanza carries Jack around, for Wrath of the Gods! Cover, Matanza wins!
Winner: Matanza Cueto, by pinfall
The Dragonslayer has been slain, and as Believers chant for it, the sacrifice is made! Jack Evans is gone forever, and the Worldwide Underground is falling apart. Who will be next on the chopping block for the Monster God’s insatiable hunger?
Lucha Underground Trios Championships: The Reptile Tribe VS Ivelisse, Joey Ryan & XO Lishus!
The Baddest Bitch in the Temple wanted to be Gift of the Gods Champion to then become THE Lucha Underground Champion, but no such luck. However, she’s been Trios Champion before, and now has two new allies to try it again. Can the Bad, the Sleazy and the Flamboyant combine to defeat the sinister snakes?
But wait, the Mad Hatter appears? Paul London says the time has come, and he is honored to present the Rabid, the Unpredictable and the Uncaged… EL BUNNY! Yes, the littlest luchador since Mascarita Sagrada joins London, “but there’s more.” It would be wise to rise for “the unholy father of time”, the Enlightened One, The White Rabbit! The Rabbit Tribe has been reborn, but the match is still just the Reptiles versus the eccentrics. The Rabbit Tribe watches as the belts are raised and we begin with Jeremiah Snake and Joey Ryan.
The Undead Death Machine stares down Sleazy Ryan with those dead eyes. Joey offers his lollipop, and Jeremiah accepts! Then he boots Joey in the face! He brings Joey over and tags in Queen Kobra Moon. He elbows and she runs, wheelbarrow launch into headscissors. But Joey blocks with power, to bring Kobra back up and buckle bomb her at Jeremiah! King Daga comes in but Joey ducks and dodges to send Daga’s dropkick into Kobra and Jeremiah! Joey then tosses Daga out and brings Kobra over. Fans fire up as Joey tags in XO! XO rolls Kobra, TWO, so he splits and arm-drags. He blocks Kobra’s punch to then acrobatically arm-drag Kobra again!
XO runs into a knee from Kobra, and Kobra drags him over to her corner. Tag to Daga, then tag to Jeremiah. Daga orders Jeremiah to attack, and Jeremiah attacks XO with vicious two-handed choking! Daga then coordinates with Jeremiah while Kobra holds XO down. Joey protests but can’t do anything about Jeremiah helping launch Daga’s dropkick into XO! Jeremiah drags XO up but XO fights back. Jeremiah clubs XO down then stalks him. He whips XO but XO kicks back. XO runs and wheelbarrows for a stunner! Both men are down but the Believers rally up. XO and Jeremiah crawl, hot tags to Daga and Ivelisse! Ivelisse rallies on Daga and Kobra, then fires off fast palm strikes and a scorpion kick to Daga! She runs and sunset flip powerbombs! Cover, but Jeremiah breaks it.
Jeremiah, when he was alive, was Ivelisse’s ex. Things went south when his ex, Catrina, came around, and then Ivelisse put Jeremiah in the ground. But now that they’re face to face again, she tries to reach through to his humanity. Jeremiah ignores that and goes to choke slam, but she breaks out to enziguri! Daga returns but Ivelisse dropkicks him to her corner. Tag to Joey and they drag Daga up. They double whip Daga into XO’s bootylicious attack! XO gets all then, then Daga gets double SUPERKICKS! Cover, but Kobra breaks it. Kobra double dropkicks XO and Ivelisse, then slithers up to the Sleaze. Joey takes Kobra up and tosses her out onto her King and knight!
Believers fire up for Joey as Joey rallies up XO. XO twerks, builds speed and fakes the snakes out so that Ivelisse can cannonball. Then XO slingshots over to finish them off! Joey drags Daga up and in, and pulls out a second lollipop! It’s green apple, and he gives it to Jeremiah. Then Joey SUPERKICKS Jeremiah down, and he falls onto Xo, Ivelisse and Kobra! Joey swings at Daga but Daga rolls him up and around and back again, for a modified cross armbreaker! Joey taps, The Reptile Tribe wins!
Winners: The Reptile Tribe, Daga by submission; still Lucha Underground Trios Champions
Joey got caught off guard by that anaconda armbar, and the Reptiles retain. The Rabbits like it, though, because now they know who to aim for. Tick-tock says the clock, and London walks down the stairs with El Bunny. XO and Joey are vulnerable in the ring, as Bunny springboards in! Bunny dropkicks XO down, then does the same to Joey! London aims him at XO and he hits a rabbit bronco buster. Ivelisse returns, but London kicks her first. Then Bunny finisher her with a dropkick. London puts Ivelisse, XO and Joey on the ropes right in a row. The White Rabbit says “Tick Tock!” Is time running out on this strange trio already?
2v1 Nunchaku Match: Aerostar & Drago VS Jake Strong!
The Savage has been undefeated and unrelenting since his debut. He’s broken ankles and taken trophies, but he also bullied the wrong pair of luchadors. Will Jake stay strong after facing the Lucha Super Amigos? Or will size not matter in a game of numbers and nunchucks?
The bell rings and Strong keeps from being flanked. Aero moves in first but Strong tosses him out. Drago climbs up and jumps but Strong catches him. Aero springboard missile dropkicks in and topples Strong over! Drago covers, TWO! Drago kicks away then Aero adds on. The Super Amigos double whip but Strong double barrels through them! Strong drags Aero up for a whip into a corner. He whips Drago in and stacks them up, to then run in for a double decker splash! Strong goes outside and sees a pair of nunchaku near the top of the steps. He heads up but Aero anchors him! Drago passes Strong up and gets those nunchaku for his own! Drago starts twirling and Strong backs off, but Aero FLIES in. Strong catches him, and uses Aero as a shield before he tosses Aero onto Drago!
Strong puts Drago into a wall, then into railing. He leaves Drago alone to go after Aerostar. Strong throws Aero into the same wall, then into the same railing. Strong runs but Aero dodges and Strong almost breaks the railing with his knees. Drago and Aero combine to be a totem pole, and spray the mist into Strong’s face! Then nunchaku SMACK SMACK SMACK! Drago does not let up no matter what Strong does to guard himself. Strong’s vision returns and he kicks Aero down to bring them both down. He bounces Aero off the announce desk and fans know “This is Awesome!” Strong drags Drago up and bowls him through chairs! Aero returns but Strong pops him up. Aero climbs the ladder to the top, and grabs nanchaku!
Strong arrives but realizes Aero is armed. Aero swings them around but Strong sends Aero’s arm into railing. Aero lets go of the nanchaku, and Strong has the advantage again. Strong goes to toss Aero over, but Aero holds on for dear life. Believers pray for Aero’s safety, but Strong punches him off the railing! Aero crash lands and Believers lose their minds. Strong goes looking for an opponent but Drago finds him first! Drago whips and lashes away with those nanchaku! Strong falls to his knees but Drago keeps going! Strong fights back with big forearms, then he bounces Drago off more railing. He grabs two pairs of nanchaku! But then Aero flies in outta nowhere!! Direct hit on the Savage! All three men are down and the Believers are thunderous with “This is Awesome!”
The three men stir, and the Super Amigos are armed. They kick Strong into the ring, then prepare their nanchaku. The Believers fire up and the wood flies! Strong writhes with every hit, then Aero runs in at the corner. Strong boots Aero down, then he grabs Drago for the body slam! He stacks the Amigos then runs, Vader Bomb meets boots! Drago and Aero combine again, flying tornado DDT! Aero adds the springboard splash! Double over, TWO!! Strong is so strong, but the Super Amigos do not give up. Drago climbs up and jumps over Strong. Strong sends Drago tumbling out but Aero runs back in. Aero tilt-o-whirls but into the gut wrench powerbomb! Then the ankle lock!! Aero endures, Aero taps, Strong wins!
Winner: Jake Strong, by submission
But Strong refuses to let go! Drago returns to smack away with the nanchaku, and Strong lets Aero go. But then Strong gets Drago in the ankle lock! Strong breaks the ankle!! The Savage takes the nanchaku as his trophy, having broken the Firebreather. Will Strong break his way into the title scene and take a belt as his trophy?
Lucha Underground Championship #1 Contenders Fatal 4 Way: Pentagon Dark VS King Cuerno VS Mil Muertes VS El Dragon Azteca Jr!
The Bone Collector was Lucha Underground Champion. The Man of 1000 Deaths and the King of Hunters both wanted to be Lucha Underground Champion. And the Heir of the Eagle Tribe was Gift of the Gods Champion with the dream of challenging whoever was champion at Ultima Lucha Quatros. However, Marty the Moth used his money to ruin all of that in one night. These four all want payback on the “Creepy Bastard”, but only one can get it first. Who wins this main event to then go on to THE main event of the year?
The bell rings and the Believers sing “Ole~ ole ole ole~! Cero~ Miedo~!” for Pentagon. But then Muertes bursts out to clothesline Pentagon, Cuerno and Azteca in a row. He goes around a second time, and now fans are on his side. Muertes drags Pentagon up for a DDT, then lifts Cuerno for a fireman’s carry, into the TKO neckbreaker! Fans rally as Azteca stands. Muertes grabs Azteca for a lariat! Muertes looms over Azteca and drags him up again for a toss! Cuerno returns to dropkick and clothesline Muertes out. Cuerno sees Azteca with his bad leg. The Hunter drags Azteca up while fans rally. Cuerno kicks the arm, then drags Azteca back up. He fireman’s carry but Pentagon comes into enziguri Cuerno down!
Pentagon and Azteca speed up, Azteca gets the DDTJ, the tilt-o-whirl satellite! Pentagon bails out while Azteca dumps Cuerno out. Azteca baits Muertes into a corner post, but then the dark Fenix appears! Fenix grabs Melissa, but is it to hurt or to return to his humanity? Melissa tries to reach through to Fenix’s heart, but then she runs for it. Azteca FLIES onto Fenix and the announce desk!! The Eagle and the Firebird crash and burn and Believers lose their minds. Azteca is up but now the brawl is on. Fenix forearms Azteca and boots him down. Fenix drags Azteca up but Azteca boots Fenix back. They end up in the bowels of the arena while Pentagon SUPERKICKS Muertes in the ring!
Cuerno returns while Muertes bails out. Pentagon gets a dropkick to the back, and he ends up outside with Muertes. Cuerno takes aim, builds speed, and fires Hell’s Arrow! He gets both targets at the same time! Fans fire up but Pentagon kicks Cuerno back. They’re both on the apron now, and Pentagon kicks. Cuerno chops, so Pentagon kicks again. Muertes returns to blast them both off the apron! But wait, it’s The Mack! He wants revenge for the Haunted House match, and gives Muertes the stunner! Then another! Muertes staggers while Mack slips away, and Pentagon flies in with the DESTROYER! SUPERKICK for Cuerno to keep him out, cover, Pentagon wins!
Winner: Pentagon Dark, by pinfall; will face Marty “The Moth” Martinez at Ultima Lucha 4
The dark avenger will have his chance at revenge against Marty! Will Pentagon once again take the title for his own at an Ultima Lucha main event? As for Mack, he walks up to the downed Muertes and says, “It looks like you’re not gonna fight for the Lucha Undergruond Championship.” But guess what? Muertes will face The Mack. Mack was afraid of death, but not anymore. Muertes should be, though, because it will be… A DEATH MATCH!! “Rest in Peace, Motherf**cker!” Muertes sits up while Mack gives him double dirty birds. Can Mack kill death itself? Or will season 4 be Mack’s last?
This was a jam-packed episode right here. I like these letters from the boss kind of things, so that it saves time on having an opening promo with someone coming out and entering the ring and all that. Especially when it’d ruin the flow of how Antonio Cueto surprises Jack with the Sacrifice of the Gods match. I was actually surprised Jack was being sacrificed, but I’m wondering now if that means defeating Matanza brings everyone back. For all the people sacrificed, I felt like Jack was still important enough to things that he’d be back for Season 5 (assuming Season 5 happens). But given that the last two sacrifices have also been WWU members, this has to mean Johnny Mundo returns to avenge everyone and defeat Matanza himself.
The Trios Championship match was pretty great, and I liked that the Rabbit Tribe appeared to watch. I really thought Ivelisse’s team was going to win, but I suppose that’s too much for a brand new team that also has the newest addition to the roster as a member. I also thought the Rabbits would weirdly turn Face to go against The Reptiles, but it seems not. Ivelisse’s team will surely win out against the Rabbits to then get another go at the Reptiles and get those titles. Or better yet, a triple threat Trios match so that all nine luchadors battle for the titles, maybe at Ultima Lucha 4. That way, Ivelisse’s team looks even stronger by defeating two teams at the same time. Meanwhile, I thought Drago & Aero were going to win, but it seems Strong is being booked extra strong for whatever reason.
The Fatal 4 Way, for being full of stars, was not quite what I expected. It was definitely still entertaining, and perhaps I should’ve seen Fenix showing up to prompt Azteca going after him. This furthers their story, Ultima Lucha will surely have some kind of match where Azteca wins and brings Fenix’s humanity back, only for Fenix to win Melissa because she still loves him. The Mack showing up was a great surprise, and naturally he goes after Muertes. Their Death Match is going to be insane, and maybe Mack wins for Muertes to go through a new transformation. Pentagon makes the natural choice to go after Marty, and surely when Marty and his crazy new girlfriend (Laurel Van Ness) return, Pentagon will have a match with her on the way to UL4.
As for King Cuerno, he still has spots he can fill on the UL4 card. The Gift of the Gods Championship has to be reassembled, so he can win a medallion again, along with six other luchadors. Then we get a true 7-Way match that we didn’t get this season. Of course, now that the GotG title works like the WWE Money in the Bank briefcase, I think both GotG and THE Lucha Underground titles might need to be on the same night of UL4 so that the GotG winner will be “too tired” to cash-in on the winner between Pentagon and Marty. In fact, maybe Fenix and Azteca tie their story back into the GotG title so that there’s room saved on the card. Same goes for Drago, Aero and Savage, that’s six right there, then throw in Killshot as a seventh now that he’s solo again.
My Score: 8.5/10