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Impact Coverage

Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Review 1/18/2019

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Coming off their sexy debut on Pursuit and Twitch, how does Impact Wrestling follow that? Andrew let’s us know how it all went down.

With nothing as edgy as a Scarlett Bordeaux strip show advertised for this week, I guess we should find out exactly how much sex sold last week and who stuck around for Impact.

We should see developments with Johnny/Cage/Kross/Moose, Tessa/Gail and Allie/Rosemary. So with a bunch of budding stories, this should be a fun episode.

Interesting note: Sami Callihan, Don Callis and Jordynne Grace are active in the Twitch chat tonight, along with a few other wrestlers. The interactive aspect is kind of cool.

Ratings:

  • KM w/Fallah Bah vs Caleb Conley – NO CONTEST Brian Cage lays everyone out
  • ‘All Ego’ Ethan Page vs Eddie Edwards – Page wins via DQ – ** 1/2
  • Dark Allie w/Su Yung vs Jodynne Grace w/ Kiera Hogan –  Jordynne wins via Wristclutch Fisherman Driver – *
  • Brian Cage vs Moose – Cage wins via Drill Claw – ***
  • Trey vs Rich Swann -Swann wins via 450 Splash – ***
  • LAX vs oVe – LAX wins via Tandem Inverted Suplex – *** 1/2

 

Review Notes:

  • The show starts off with what we expect to be a match, but then it cuts to the back with Brian Cage going crazy. He storms out, interrupts the match, lays out the world and calls out Johnny Impact. Impact comes out, Moose and Kross beat down Johnny. Cage eventually struts up the ramp, drags Johnny back to the ring to lay in some damage himself, but Moose spears Cage and Kross hits Johnny with the Doomsday Saito Suplex.  Wonder if we get a thrown together tag or if the free for all feel continues.
  • Twitch unique commercial break has Josh Mathew’s Skype in and chat with the viewers. It’s an interesting take on doing the show through Twitch.
  • Quick backstage moment with Cage making a match for tonight with Moose, since Moose hit him with the spear.
  • Eli Drake comes out to join commentary
  • Decent match by Page and Edwards here. Drake sets up the promo he cuts on Edwards after the match throughout his commentary. Some nice bickering between commentary and solid enough match before Eddie decides to use the Kendo Stick. Edwards calls the Kendo Stick Kenny, and when Page landed a big Pump Kick, Drake couldn’t miss the South Park reference. But after the DQ it sounds like Drake wants Eddie to return to his old version, not this twisted hardcore person. Maybe we’ll see Davey Richards come back. LAX against the American Wolves would be a great match.
  • Flashback moment is a steel cage match with Raven’s Gathering versus Abyss’ Red Shirts. Always nice to see the overbooked nostalgia of old school TNA with AJ Styles, Sting and CM Punk at the time.
  • Rascalz with the That 70s Show stoner vignette, even drop a Step Brothers reference. Pretty funny if you like that.
  • Allie puts up a little bit of a fight, but Jordynne dominates for the most part. After the match Rosemary shuts the lights off and switches places with Su Yung in the ring to try and get Allie back. But Allie bails and runs off in fear.
  • Scarlett announces her winner, and it’s herself. She says that she’s already the most over Knockout and she hasn’t wrestled yet, so now she’ll get in a ring and prove herself there.
  • Cage vs Moose is a hard hitting big boy style match. Moose got to showcase a bit of the cocky persona when he thought he outsmarted Brian Cage, but then Cage ducks the chop and Moose hits the post like a geek. The match was slow, but some nice outside of the ring work, as well as, fun spots. Moose did a Kip Up, Brian Cage fired up, flurry of strikes, Moose lands a Go to Hell, but Cage kicks out. Moose tries to introduce a chair, it backfires and Cage kills Moose. Cage has a much clearer path to a rematch against Johnny.
  • Taya interview says she’ll be back in time for the Mexico shows, and we’ll get some La Wera Loca action.
  • Interesting note, Allie joined the Twitch chat, with Rosemary in it as well…and they continue to talk in character and further to story a bit. It’s really cool. Feels like an old AOL RP chat room…shut up, I’m old, don’t talk.
  • Tessa gets an interview in the back, nearly attacks McKenzie, attacks a PA, Gail shows up to pull her off and they scuffle. So again, I’m figuring Gail comes out of retirement to face Tessa. Fun Eli Drake sighting in the background during the brawl though. Scott D’amore did just suspend Tessa, but we all know those never stick.
  • Swann and Trey was quick and fun. A few hiccups in the match, but not bad. Locomotion Double Leg Cradles make Baby Ref dizzy and Trey nearly gets the best of it. Swann kicks out, knocks Trey back on his ass and then puts things away with a second rope 450 Splash. oVe comes out to try and recruit Swann again, but before a decision is made, LAX come out for the match. So again we’re left without knowing how Swann feels.
  • The commercial break comes back a little late, but we get a good portion of the match. Spotty but a fun match. Saw a lot of quick tandem work between both teams, and it’s also the first time we’ve really seen Dave Crist in an actual match in a while. oVe hits a Superplex/Jumping Powerbomb combo, but only for a 2. Then LAX dispatches of Dave, hits a bunch of smooth moves, Rolling Cutter, Code Breaker, Superkick, Tandem Inverted Suplex, and the pinfall. Fast paced and fun, perfectly fine TV main event. After the match the Lucha Bros congratulate them, but Ortiz gets a little prematurely mouthy as Konnan voices his dismay when the show cuts off.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Fun and solid show. Even though the actual wrestling was back-loaded this week, we saw plenty of story line progression and all of the little segments and promos are building to something. Plus Impact showed their new concept with wrestlers in the chat to kind of talk with and Josh’s Skype presence. It would be cool if they mixed up the Skype person though. McKenzie Mitchell, Eli Drake, Bruan Cage (with Melissa maybe) or Alicia Atout popping in at 3 minute intervals during commercials would probably be better. But it was still a very cool concept.

Still, between the interactivity on Twitch and the actual content of the show, this was an easy watch and pretty enjoyable. It should be mentioned though that Twitch viewers did drop by a bit. The show capped off right around 8,000 viewers and by the time the main event hit, it was down to 6,500. So this shows about a 20% drop in viewership, but a strip show also wasn’t marketed…so who knows if that played into the bigger number last week. All I know is, it’s early in the year, but Impact has put on a more solid TV product than even SmackDown Live. I’m hopeful this trend continues, so I’ll keep watching.


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Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 2.2.2023

Impact has a new number one contender, a few new signings and setting up for No Surrender. Lets see what happens tonight!

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We’re coming off of Rich Swann becoming the number one contender, Joe Hendry creating another banger of a parody song and Bully Ray…being more like Bitchy Ray.

Also lets not overlook the fact that Dirty Dango officially signed with IMPACT as well. Which may not be huge, but with the current addition of Santino Marella, Dango being involved in storylines for the foreseeable; there could be some good comedy in store.

There we go, a bunch of stuff got set in motion; but we could always see some interesting wrinkles or just straight forward boredom. Only one way to find out! BUT FIRST! Raven is getting The Flock back together…maybe?

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace & Bey) vs Kevin Knight & Kushida: Ace & Bey win via 1-2-Sweet – ***
  • Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Savannah Evans: Gisele wins via Denouement – ** 1/4
  • Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus vs Sheldon Jean: Steve wins via King Kill 33 – N/A
  • Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Kenny King: Kenny wins via Royal Flush – N/A
  • The Design (Kon, Deaner, Angels & Callihan) vs Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian, Yuya Uemura & Rich Swann: Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – ** 1/2

 

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace & Bey) vs Kevin Knight & Kushida

As much as I like Ace & Bey, a part of me would like MCMG versus Kushida and his new partner.

Early on its just counters, posing to the crowd and getting themselves over until Bey manages to sweep the leg, slingshot over the top rope for a stomp and take over a little. Knight manages to avoid a corner move, one legged Springboard Body Press, Jumping Frog Splash, and then a quick tag to Kushida. Some tandem moves from Kushida and Knight as Knight continues to mix it up with Bey.

Ace distracts Knight before the Springboard and Bey meets him in midair with a Dropkick and gets Ace in for some tandem offense and then Ace starts setting the pace. Double Arm Wringer into a tandem Back Rake. Then they wrestle Knight to the ground and keep him down for another Back Rake. Ace continues to set the pace and keep Knight mostly on the receiving end, until Knight rolls out of a lift, Ricky to Robert roll, Kushida gets the hot tag and starts clearing the ring. Bey tries Art of Finesse, Kushida catches him in a Flying Armbar but Bey turns it into a Cradle to get Kushida to break.

Electric Chair from Kushida, but before Knight can hit his Dropkick, Ace slides in and catches Knight on his back. Chicken Fight before Kushida and Knight finally hit their Tandem move but Ace makes the save. Ace wipes out Kushida, Knight forces Ace out, tries to go for a Plancha, but Bey was crotched on the top rope. As Knight tries to Plancha, Bey hits a Cutter out of nowhere on the apron. Ace sees the opening, 1-2-Sweet for the win!

Steph De Lander video package…that’s a pretty decent grab for IMPACT.

Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Savannah Evans

Gisele faces off with Savannah and slaps her in the face a few times and refuses to back down. Savannah of course fires back, but when Gisele gets violent is when she’s at her best. After a big toss, Gisele powders, confers with Jai and the commercial kicks in. When we get back, Gisele has the advantage. But Savannah takes the short arm pull in, Side Slam for effect and distance.

Now they start trading strikes, that Savannah wins that war. A few short Lariats, Samoan Drop, and Gisele is reeling. Retreats to the corner, tries to stop Savannah with the Back Elbow, but eats a Spinebuster when she tries to continue. Fisherman’s Suplex Hold from Savannah for 2, Full Nelson Slam attempt, but Jai hits the apron and tries to seduce the referee as a distraction. Gisele hits the Denouement (Knee Strike) for the win.

The crowd is actively booing Gisele, but she powers through for her promo. It wasn’t great, but I’ll give her some credit for pushing through. 

Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus vs Sheldon Jean

Sheldon Jean continues the arrogance, though he’s a nobody enhancement talent. It would be nice if some of these enhancement talent wrestlers didn’t all have that same arrogant persona. We all know Steve is going to win, this is just a storytelling tool to probably add to the Trey Miguel stuff.

Steve is entertaining, but this match is more predictable than most things. He hits King Kill 33, but apparently it’s called Belladonna’s Kiss now. Trey jumps Taurus, tries to spray paint Steve, but Steve bites him and spray paints himself causing Trey to powder out of confusion/fear.

Bully comes out to complain as has been his thing the last few weeks. But thankfully Mickie returns the favor from last week and interrupts Bully. Verbal jabs, Bully Ray insults Mickie, Mickie slaps him, Bully slams her and calls in the Good Hands to get the tables. Tommy Dreamer makes a save with a kendo stick. Good Hands vs Mickie & Tommy next week. 

Oh good, this is exactly what I wanted from a few weeks ago! Kelly and Taylor will be a great team.

Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Kenny King

Some goofy posturing and general Swinger antics. Eddy Gordo kick into Royal Flush, and Kenny gets the obvious win.

Bully has a segment in the back with Masha, and it seems like he’s a little smitten while he was trying to just manipulate her emotions to pick up the pieces after or during the tag match next week. 

Cardona and Myers try to make their own diss track song…and it was awful. It was supposed to be bad, and yes, it achieved that. It was like Miz and Morrison, without comedic talent.

The Design (Kon, Deaner, Angels & Callihan) vs Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian, Yuya Uemura & Rich Swann

Deaner barks at Callihan to start against Swann, then commands him to tag out, and a multi-man match is always a little bit of everyone gets moments. So its just odd that the heel team will be dictated by Deaner to a degree. Uemura comes in second and he reminds me so much of a young Tanahashi its crazy. Deaner calls for the tag and squares off against Josh now.

An attempted jumping in the corner, but Josh gets space and it turns into all 8 men in at once. Josh goes right after Kon and tries to assert his dominance on the “power” of The Design. After the commercial, Uemura gets rocked but Kaz saves him with a blind tag and hits some of his classic moves on Angels and Callihan. Swann comes in but Deaner and Kon manage to ground Swann and put the momentum back in the hands on The Design.

Some stupid spots take away a little from the match while Swann is getting worked over. Swann slaps his leg when he eats a Dropkick from Angels, then tries to Leapfrog Deaner and jump to his corner, Deaner grabs him away but it just looks silly and like it was never going to work to begin with. Its the optime of doing too much and hurting the match. Josh eventually gets a hot tag, tags a square off with Kon, throws him around and King Kong Knee drops Kon. Ankle Lock gives the near fall but Kon kicks off, Uemura tags himself in, Callihan gets the tag, is about to finish off Uemura; but Deaner stops the Thumbs Up – so Josh breaks up the offense and we get all 8 men pulls off high impact moves.

Cactus Driver attempt, Uemura hits the Enzuigiri to stun Callihan. Goes to the top, Deaner trips Uemura, Cactus Driver ’97 wins the match.

 

Overall Score: 5/10

This was a weird episode. The only match worth watching was the opening tag match, the rest were predictable, boring or just had dumb spots in them. Backstage segments however, those were pretty great. The problem though, is they built off of either inside jokes, old WCW knowledge or not shutting off cringe immediately.

So while I loved the Raven & Reese segment, Kelly & Taylor, and found some amusement in the Cardona stuff…its really subjective and not exactly friendly to an uninitiated viewer. We got an episode that catered to already existing fans, which isn’t how to grow a brand.

Even though I enjoyed things for the most part, this was a lame episode from the perspective of retaining new eyes.


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Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 1.26.2023

This episode is gonna be a real dice roll. A shaky card means that the segments really need to make up for the lack of engagement on paper. Does it get there?

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I have no real clue what to make of this episode. With a throw away X Division Championship match and most likely a Knockouts Tag to just perpetuate the Gisele is a shitty human concept, I don’t see a lot of hope for this episode outside of the main event.

Every now and then there’s a head scratching klunker from IMPACT because they get too wrapped up in their gimmicks and sometimes they all coalesce in the same episode. Hopefully we can salvage some entertainment in the first like 90 minutes as to not be struggle bussing to the final match.

At least the teaser for Gisele’s partner seems to have potential.

Ratings:

  • X Division Championship: Trey Miguel (c) vs Mike Jackson: Trey retains via Lightning Spiral – *
  • The Good Hands vs KUSHIDA & Kevin Knight: Kushida wins via Hoverboard Lock – **
  • Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Death Dollz (Taya Valkyrie & JesSICKa w/ Rosemary) (c) vs Gisele Shaw & Tara w/Jai Vidal: Death Dollz retain via Assisted Sickishi Driver – **
  • Major Players (Brian Myers & Matt Cardona) vs Bullet Club (Ace & Bey): Ace wins via Prawn Hold – ** 1/4
  • Jonathan Gresham vs Sheldon Jean: Gresham wins via Sliding D – *
  • Golden 6 Shooter Elimination: Rhino vs Moose vs Chris Sabin vs Callihan vs Rich Swann vs Eddie Edwards: Rich Swann wins via 450 Splash – *** 1/4

 

Results:

X Division Championship: Trey Miguel (c) vs Mike Jackson

Mike Jackson gets a few moments of Running Shoulder Tackles to knock down Trey since Trey is taking the challenge lightly. A near fall into some shoving and feigning an apology. Jackson is still a moron in his old age and takes the handshake bait to get snuck in the jaw.

Jackson does the straps down, back elbows, swinging Neckbreaker and then goes for some kind of punch combination and gets countered. Its very hard to care about this match since who’s really going to put a title on a 76 year old man. Mike Jackson does the Oldest School, Prayer Walk…whatever you want to call it – before Trey pulls him down and starts kicking him around. Jacky Bryant Kick, into Lightning Spiral…and who cares.

After the match Trey looks under the ring for his spray paint, finds Crazzy Steve already tagged up and taunting Trey. Black Taurus comes out when Trey tries to powder, and I guess Decay isn’t done with Trey yet. 

The Good Hands vs KUSHIDA & Kevin Knight

Skyler starts off for the Good Hands, Knight technically starts but very quick tags. Tandem Arm Wringers and strikes until Skyler manages to powder, get chased and find a way to tag out and start working over Kushida. Hotch pulls off a Chaos Theory German Suplex, so I’m a fan of him now…and they do the tandem cover as Skyler hits the Jacknife cover for 2.

Kushida manages to get some space, tag out and Knight comes in with a hot tag and starts flying around. Some quick work, Cartwheel Dropkick from Kushida. Electric Chair/Dropkick combo as Knight wipes out Hotch and Kushida sinks in the Hoverboard Lock on Skyler.

Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Death Dollz (Taya Valkyrie & JesSICKa w/ Rosemary) (c) vs Gisele Shaw & Tara w/Jai Vidal

Tara comes out and JesSICKa starts bowing, Tara is emotional, Taya looks a little awe struck and actually respectfully shakes hands. Death Dollz are playing the perfect babyface role early on.

It looks like Taya and Tara are going to start, but before they touch, Gisele tags her out like a good heel should. Taya and JesSICKa are both mad they don’t get to wrestle with Tara, so there moves have a little more oomph. Tara keeps holding her hand out for a tag but Gisele is ignoring her and actually says no when Tara tries to ask for the tag.

Tara is trying to be a good sport but Gisele’s ego has her refuse to tag in Tara multiple times. Gisele disrespects Tara by using her old taunt and hitting the Spider Web only for 2. She plays to the crowd asking if they want Tara and then disrespects Tara. Tara walks in to argue while the Death Dollz are…eating popcorn. This is wonderful. Gisele slaps Tara and tries to talk more shit, Tara snaps and Widow’s Peak…the Dollz throw their popcorn and look shocked. Assisted Sickishi Driver and the Dollz retain with an assist to a fed up Tara.

Major Players (Brian Myers & Matt Cardona) vs Bullet Club (Ace & Bey)

Bey gets the best of Cardona early, tags in Ace and we see some solid tandem work with sweeps, kicks, Double Sentons, a lot of fluid Junior style movement. The Majors manage to catch Ace watching both of them, Myers pulls him face first into a rope and then they start working over Ace.

Ace finally rocks Cardona after eating offense for a few minutes, Bey takes the hot tag, cleans house, does a little homage to Shinsuke Nakamura before hitting Cardona with a Jumping Uppercut in the corner. Bey is rolling until Myers scoops Ace off the apron; which distracts Bey, so Cardona catches him with a Lariat and shifts the momentum. Reboot into a Guillotine Leg Drop for 2. Bey manages to defend, Ace tags, hits a rolling Headscissors, they try to set up a 1-2-Sweet but Bey is rocked so he’s slow to the spot. Cardona blocks, a little back and forth before Ace rocks Cardona with a Triangle Kick. Bey turns it into a Victory Roll, but Bey isn’t legal, so Ace tries to pull things apart and quickly figure out a Prawn Hold of sorts to get a sloppy victory.

Jonathan Gresham vs Sheldon Jean

Still surprised Gresham lost to Eddie, but I guess more enhancement matches are how to get right.

As much as Hannifan is trying to go over Sheldon’s resume, no one is buying it. He’s enhancement talent who’s acting cocky but getting relatively worked over. Gresham shows Sheldon what a chainsaw does to a tree, hyperextends his tree, Sliding D to the back of the head…Gresham wins.

Golden 6 Shooter Elimination: Rhino vs Moose vs Chris Sabin vs Callihan vs Rich Swann vs Eddie Edwards

Early tie ups, turn into Moose and Rhino standing off, then Sabin and Rhino…and we just get a little bit of revolving door of square offs. Definitely a little silly to try and go through the play by play here since it’s just different pair offs and a handful of high spots. Callihan gets set up for a Gore but Moose takes the shot to hit Rhino with Lights Out before the Gore. Callihan wipes out Moose and pins Rhino, to eliminate him first.

Moose stacks Swann and Sabin on the top corner, Okada Dropkick hits both, Eddie attacks Moose, Sabin takes advantage of the distraction for a Tornado DDT, but only 2. Sabin keeps the momentum against Eddie and Callihan before we get more interesting spots from everyone taking out 2 people. Swann looks to take out Callihan but Eddie crotches Swann, Gamengiri, Backpack…nope, Swann slips it, face kick, Sabin tries something but Eddie with the Inside Out Side Slam, Powerbombs Swann into Sabin for 2. Eddie looks to Tiger Driver Sabin but no, counter backslide, rope run, Pop Up Flapjack, Tiger Driver finally hits…but only 2. Eddie lines up Boston Knee Party but PCO’s music hits and PCO is pointing at Eddie through the sea of security. Distract Eddie eats a Yakuza Kick from Sabin, Head and Arm Cradle to eliminate Eddie Edwards.

Moose clocks Sabin, a few big strikes and an Uranage for 2. Moose is trying to put Sabin away quickly. Corner charge, Sabin moves, Flying Enzuigiri, Tornado…nope…Lights Out, Chris Sabin is eliminated. Callihan, Swann and Moose are now all in and just trading strikes and headbutts. Back and forth, Callihan throws Swann into the ropes, Lethal Injection…but Callihan powders. Moose kicks out Swann’s leg and starts trying to work over the leg. Great limb work…damn Moose even breaks out a Dragon Screw and then starts just punching the right knee relentlessly. Moose locks in some Stump Puller variation to continue the torture. Moose gets a little cocky, keeps trying to lift on the leg but Swann tucks, rolls and hits the Victory Roll to eliminate Moose.

The Design walks out to tell Callihan to take out Swann as the last step. Callihan goes for a Stretch Muffler on the good leg, Rich counters with a Cradle variation for 2. Swann then starts rocking Callihan with Vader Hammers, Swann tries to fire, kick to the gut, Powerbomb into an Ankle Lock on the back leg. Thumbs Up, Thumbs…kicked in the face. Rich keeps throwing kicks, finally drops Callihan, 450 Splash to eliminate Callihan.

 

Overall Score: 6/10

Only one decent wrestling match, but a few high points through the show. Death Dollz eating popcorn as Tara snaps to the disrespect, Tasha and Savannah finally breaking up, Maclin with a solid point in his promo and of course Hendry’s new song. Major Players will always be Edge’s Bitches to me as well Joe.

Aside from that, the show was a little slow and with predictable matches, the little moments had to really hit to keep some of the entertainment investment. Mike Jackson may be an amusing story, but it was totally worthless. Zero suspension of disbelief.

Not a terrible episode, but not a super strong one either. If you’ve been following IMPACT for a while, the show was better than a purely uninitiated perspective.


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