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(NOAH) WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.23 ~ 16TH FEBRUARY 2019

In an odd twist of fate, Marufuji is placed in a familiar, yet flipped position going into his GHC title challenge next month. Hisame let’s us know how the NOAH build is going!

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In an odd twist of fate, Marufuji is placed in a familiar, yet flipped position going into his GHC title challenge next month. Hisame let’s us know how the NOAH build is going!

CURRENT TOUR RECAP
Navigation for The Progress

Kaito Kiyomiya and Naomichi Marufuji continued their feud over the GHC Heavyweight title. Kiyomiya managed to knock Marufuji out of the ring with a dropkick, but was left wondering as to whether Marufuji played it up deliberately. He also turned his back on him when Kiyomiya was in the ring and was announced.

Marufuji, now that he can’t do aerial attacks (and finally realizing that his body is older than he thought), has turned to more vicious tactics, and decided to work on Kiyomiya’s left arm. In Kiyomiya’s post match promo, he told him that he was going to take him apart bit by bit, and next it would be his legs.

Kiyomiya has vowed that he will find “the Genius’ weakness” before “my body breaks down”. 

It has been pointed out to Marufuji that he is in the same position that Mitsuharu Misawa was when he himself was GHC Heavyweight Champion; the senior is challenging the junior.

Mitsuharu Misawa challenges the then GHC Heavyweight Champion, Naomichi Marufuji, a young man in his twenties and of the next generation of heavyweight NOAH wrestlers

Atsushi Kotoge became injured at NOAH’s show in Fukushima on the 11th February, which has put a spanner in the works of the GHC Heavyweight Tag title match with Eddie Edwards, taking on 50 Funky Powers.

Kotoge had gone for the “Revolutionary Cloak Splash” from the top rope, but managed to damage his arm on landing. Fans noticed that he was in a lot of pain, and he was checked out in the ring. NOAH removed him from the subsequent show, and later announced that he had dislocated his elbow and suffered a further fracture to the arm.

Kotoge himself said that he had felt a shooting pain in his arm, and he couldn’t move it at all.

With Kotoge’s injury and subsequent card change, “The Mid Generation” (Go Shiozaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima),took on the champions. They obliterated them with Nakajima choking out Quiet Storm with a sleeper, and then laughing about it afterwards.

Although NOAH have not yet announced what will become of the title challenge, and whether Eddie Edwards will team with someone else or postpone his appearance until Kotoge is better (this may not be until the late summer, and Kotoge will most likely miss Global League 2019), but it may be likely that “The Mid Generation” will receive a title shot.

Katsuhiko Nakajima later posted ….

Three of the Dark Agents (Takashi Sugiura, Masao Inoue and Akitoshi Saito) have reunited to take down The Hooligans, however, they have not been very successful in their efforts with The Hooligans defeating them twice so far. Takashi Sugiura has already started making jokes about Masao Inoue, lumping him together with having experience akin to the rookies in the group, Kinya Okada and Yoshiki Inamura. Should Sugiura be unfortunate enough to join The Hooligans, his job will be as their lackey; KAZMA SAKAMOTO says he will have to carry Cody’s bags, lick his boots, clean their toilets, do Nagai’s laundry and wash Maybach Taniguchi’s back.

YO-HEY was said to be looking a lot happier at “the wife” (HAYATA) returning “home”, and while really the only thing that has happened on this tour between himself and HAYATA and the former friends in RATELS, is Daisuke Harada and Tadasuke appearing in the ring and demanding to know what HAYATA thought he was doing.

Their new teammate, Yoshinari Ogawa (backed by YO-HEY & HAYATA, as Kotaro Suzuki is currently absent), continued the fight with The Backbreakers (Hajime Ohara and Hitoshi Kumano) over the current GHC Junior Heavyweight Tag titles. Ogawa (in a supreme Golden Era move) threw a table at Hitoshi Kumano, and the team of The Backbreakers and Yoshiki Inamura were wiped out completely, with Ogawa posing with the belts at the end.

Yoshiki Inamura continued his “Seven Match Series”, this time against Masa Kitamiya.

NOAH have so far done very well this tour with both of their two opening dates being sold out.

NEWS

“COME AT ME YOU BASTARDS” (Kenoh’s column in “Weekly Pro”)
Kenoh visited the new NOAH offices and spoke of a variety of different things ranging from how nice the NOAH staff look now (even Mr. Okada looks smart now, despite “those fucking glasses”), the new company and how they should ask him for advice, the validation of his own opinion on “Leaving Misawa”, and Marufuji vs Kiyomiya.
Continuing his concerned older brother theme when it comes to Kiyomiya, and his hope that Marufuji will beat Kiyomiya for the belt for two reasons; the first being Kenoh wants to challenge, and the second that he seems to intimate that the longer Kiyomiya has it, the worse damage it is doing him, and the more Kenoh of all people seems to worry.

Kenoh’s other idea is that he will second Marufuji on the night (so to be first in line to challenge him), but I doubt that Marufuji is going to allow him to do that.

FAREWELL HAKATA STALENE
NOAH will return to the venue for the last time ever on March 17th, as the building is going to be torn down. Although the full card hasn’t been announced, Naomichi Marufuji will take on Yoshinari Ogawa (this will be their first singles match in 14 years) and Go Shiozaki and Takashi Sugiura will put on a “Golden Era Match” (as they always do when they collide in big matches).

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

TOUR TIDBITS

~ Katsuhiko Nakajima decided to wind up Kenoh by sticking his leg in his fist when Kenoh entered the ring and knelt to do his ring introduction.
~ Yoshinari Ogawa denied ever being part of Special 4.
~ NOAH returned to Shinyousei Twenty-One Hall, which has the infamous staircase named “The Demon Staircase of Hell” due to the fact that it is two flights, and means that due to there being no underground parking at the venue for the truck, the equipment has to be carried up and down it, across a courtyard and through the lobby.
~ Minoru Tanaka says his first wish has been granted (i.e. for a title match at Yokohama), but his second one is still outstanding, he won’t say what it is though.
~ Both Daisuke Harada and Tadasuke have hinted at possible moves to the heavyweight division. Tadasuke when he fought Kenoh and Masa Kitamiya and said something “sparked” in him, and Daisuke Harada pointing to the GHC Heavyweight and declaring it was his “final goal”.
~ Mohammed Yone got beaten up in front of a group of old ladies (one was his mother) by Katsuhiko Nakajima.
~ Hitoshi Yamato did his usual singing entry, and incorporated the lyrics that Naomichi Marufuji couldn’t have dried seaweed. Marufuji had a priceless look on his face. 
~ Cody Hall took a picture of Atsushi Kotoge who was sitting drinking coffee near a window; Kotoge came out as a big pink blob.

KING SHAMELESS CORNER
Takashi Sugiura has posted pictures of either what is coming out of his dog, or what his dog has left behind. On a pleasanter note, he was given gifts by fans after a small gathering at “Muscle Grill”, and said that as he was carrying a big plushie, he probably looked like a “Weird old man” getting on the train.

BROADCASTS
NOAH’s Korakuen Hall show of the 24th February will be broadcast on Samurai at 10pm (JST) on Samurai TV.

BOOK CORNER
The ongoing translation of Naomichi Marufuji’s “Heir To The Ark” can be found here

LINKS
HAYATA (Costume Research)
“Come to Noah” ~ interview with Naomichi Marufuji
The Green Guide to Muscle Grill
Takashi Sugiura mini interview ahead of the match with The Hooligans
Battlemen Recap (Noah, Wednesday February 13th 2019)
Noah’s Arkive Podcast (ITunes)

NOAH FROM THE VAULT (articles translated by Purodino)
YO-HEY “My turning point”


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Mitchell’s WWE 205 Live Results & Report! (4/16/21)

Will Retro take down The Premier?

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Coverage 205 2021

Tony Nese defends that 205 Live is still HIS show!

The Premier Athlete says he IS Mr. 205 Live, but that could all change! Will August Grey lead the way for the purple ‘n’ orange?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Ashante “Thee” Adonis VS Jake Atlas; Atlas wins.
  • August Grey VS Tony Nese; Grey wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Ashante “Thee” Adonis VS Jake Atlas!

The Braggadocios learned savvy from THE Brian Kendrick, but in a roundabout way, the Muscle of El Monte learned aggression from The Psycho Killer! Who puts the lessons learned into practice now that WWE is past WrestleMania?

The bell rings and Atlas circles with Adonis. Fans rally as they approach, and Adonis gives a testing kick to the arm. Atlas shakes that off but Adonis kicks him again. Atlas eggs Adonis on, then swats the kick to wrench the arm! Atlas YANKS the arm, wrenches to an elbow breaker then clamps down on it. Adonis gets up but Atlas brings him back down. Adonis reverses the armlock but Atlas reverses it back. Adonis rolls Atlas but Atlas shifts right back to the armlock. Fans rally, Adonis fights up but Atlas shoves him away to then arm-drag on the rebound! Atlas grinds the arm, Adonis fights up, but Atlas whips Adonis to arm-drag again!

Atlas goes after the arm and wrangles Adonis back down. Adonis fights up but Atlas whips, only for Adonis to fake the arm-drag out! Adonis KNEES Atlas in the side, but Atlas shoves him! Adonis shoves back, they lock up and go around! They end up on ropes, the ref has them break. Adonis swings, Atlas ducks it but Adonis returns the favor. Adonis back suplexes, Atlas lands on his feet, slides under and runs, but into a LARIAT! Adonis seethes as he stalks Atlas to a corner, and then RAMS his shoulder in! Adonis throws EuroUppers, follows Atlas and throws more EuroUppers! Atlas CHOPS back! And CHOPS again!

Atlas CLUBS Adonis, CHOPS him in a corner, but Adonis kicks back! Adonis ROCKS Atlas in the corner, CHOPS him, and then whips him corner to corner. Atlas reverses but Adonis reverses back, only to miss in the corner! Atlas WRINGS the arm out, then goes up top! Atlas aims, but Adonis trips up the cartwheel! Atlas is stuck on the top rope, AIRDROP sends Atlas to the floor! Adonis goes out to fetch Atlas, and RAM him into boards! Adonis SLAMS Atlas’ arm into the steel steps! Adonis gets Atlas up an din the ring at 7 of 10, then covers, TWO! Atlas toughs it out and fans rally up as he crawls for ropes. Adonis gets the arm first, wrenches it, and uppercuts the triceps!

Adonis WRINGS Atlas’ arm in return, then covers, TWO! Atlas grits his teeth but Adonis is after the arm! Adonis wants a Fujiwara but Atlas turns it to a cover, TWO! Adonis still has the arm, shifts around and goes for the Fujiwara again! Atlas endures as Adonis bends the arm back, and he powers up to get around. Atlas throws body shots, Adonis CLUBS the arm, repeat! Adonis bumps Atlas off buckles, but Atlas elbows back! Atlas boots the clothesline away then back kicks, ax kicks and BOOTS Adonis! Adonis resists the waistlock and elbows free! Atlas EuroUppers Adonis, then rallies with clotheslines! Atlas spins Adonis to WHEEL KICK! Adonis staggers into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!!

Atlas couldn’t hold Adonis down because of the bad arm! Atlas tastes his own blood in his mouth but that only fires him up! Fans rally as Atlas climbs a corner, but Adonis intercepts with a forearm! Adonis goes up, he and Atlas brawl up top but Atlas ROCKS Adonis! Adonis comes back to ROCKET LAUNCH Atlas down! Atlas slowly rises, Adonis climbs up and leaps, BIG CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Atlas survives and Adonis is growing frustrated. Adonis kicks Atlas to the apron. Adonis stands Atlas up, rolls him through the ropes, TWO! Adonis back drops but Atlas sunset flips, TWO! KNEE TRIGGER! And a ROLLING ELBOW!

Atlas GOURD BUSTERS Adonis to the drop zone, then goes up top. Atlas hits the CARTWHEEL DDT!! Cover, Atlas wins!

Winner: Jake Atlas, by pinfall

It seems Old Man Ciampa’s lessons paid off! Will Atlas lift himself up towards a title opportunity now that Santos Escobar isn’t the champion?

 

August Grey VS Tony Nese!

#RetroAG finally got payback on Daivari Dinero, then was weirdly congratulated by him after defeating Adonis a few weeks ago. Will Daivari congratulate Grey again when he defeats Daivari’s fellow 205 Live OG? Or will the Premier Athlete prevent the new wave from taking over his brand?

Well Daivari is showing which side he’s on by accompanying Nese to the ring! Though he does get left hanging on that fist bump. Daivari joins commentary as the bell rings and Grey circles with Nese. They tie up, Nese waistlocks and slams Grey down! Nese then flexes on Grey, but fans are on Grey’s side as he and Nese circle again. Grey and Nese tie up, Grey waistlocks, but Nese hooks a leg to get the drop toehold. Nese floats to a facelock but Grey slips out to a hammerlock. Grey reels Nese in, Nese resists but Grey wrenches a wristlock to then headlock. Nese tries but can’t power out as Grey grinds him down. Nese tries again but Grey still holds on tight!

Nese fights up, powers out, and things speed up. Nese hurdles, Grey headlocks to the takeover! Fans cheer as Nese endures another grind. Nese fights up, powers Grey to a corner, and the ref counts. Nese is set free but he whips Grey corner to corner. Grey goes up and over and hits another headlock takeover! Nese pushes with forearms but Grey grinds the headlock. Nese fights up, fans rally and Nese powers out. Grey goes up and over again but Nese goes up and over, too! Nese does jumping jacks just to show off. Grey runs, into an arm-drag, but he gets the headlock! Nese rolls Grey off but Grey does the jumping jacks in return!

Grey side-steps Nese, blocks the hip toss and dodges the clothesline to headlock again. Nese counters as he back suplexes Grey down! Nese kicks and stomps Grey around, covers, TWO! Nese grows annoyed as he gets Grey up and kicks him in the stomach! Fans rally for Grey but Nese hauls Grey up in a pump handle! Grey slips free, drop toeholds Nese onto ropes, then dials it up for a SLIDING STRADDLE! Grey ROCKS Nese with an uppercut, then climbs up, SHORYUKEN from Nese! Grey is stuck on the ropes, Nese runs in to TOP SHELF KICK, to the fireman’s carry and GUTBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Nese stomps Grey down and then looms over him.

Nese soaks up heat from the fans as he kicks Grey in the side. Nese whips Grey hard into the corner and Grey bounces off buckles! Nese flexes on Grey again and Daivari cheers the peak. Nese kicks Grey to a corner, Grey hits back with body shots! Grey throws haymakers but Nese hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Nese goes to a corner and unties a buckle pad? The ref stops him before he can finish, and Grey trips Nese up! Grey gives Nese a taste of his own medicine, catapult into that buckle! Roll up and cover, TWO! Grey CHOPS Nese, whips but Nese reverses to then slide and pump handle, for the scoop and DRIVER! Cover, TWO!!

Grey survives but Daivari says Nese’s got this. Grey gets to a corner, Nese storms over to give him kicks in the ribs! Grey throws body shots and forearms and a CHOP! Nese runs into a back elbow, Grey boots but that’s blocked. Nese throws the foot down but Grey ROCKS him! Grey runs to RANA, then CLOBBER Nese! Grey goes for a gut wrench, Nese back drops but Grey sunset flips! Nese rolls through to back KICK Grey down! Cover, TWO!! Grey survives but Nese puts on the squeeze! Grey endures, pries the feet apart but Nese shifts to a headlock. Nese knees Grey, then talks trash. Nese pushes Grey around but fans taunt Nese, “You Still Suck!” Grey CHOPS Nese, then JABS! CHOP! JAB!

Nese puts Grey in a corner but Grey dodges to CHOP and stomp away! Grey fires off hands, the ref counts and Grey stops at 4. Grey whips, Nese reverses but Grey comes back to LARIAT! Grey spins Nese to hit a jawbreaker, to NECKBREAKER! Grey handsprings and fans fire up with him! Daivari doesn’t like the showboating, but Nese throws Grey to the apron. Grey ROCKS Nese in return, then goes up top! Tightrope CROSSBODY! Grey rains down rights and then ROCKS Nese again! Grey hits the EXTRA LARGE BACK SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Daivari says it takes more than that to stop the Premier Athlete, the 205 Live OG! Grey gets up, brings Nese up but Nese throat chops!

Grey gasps, Nese talks trash, and then Nese runs with Grey, but Grey blocks the hotshot! Grey shoulders but into a kick! Nese slingshots, into a HOTSHOT CUTTER! Grey gets Nese in, for another Extra Large, but Nese lands on his feet! Nese gets a cover, TWO! Nese mule kicks, front kicks, knee lifts and enziguris! Nese whips, uses that to slide, but Grey rolls through to SUPERKICK! Nese tumbles out, Grey DIVES! Direct hit and Nese is sent flying over the announce desk! Fans fire up and Daivari has to get out of his seat because of that. Grey gets back to the ring, the ring count is 5 of 10! It keeps going, 7 of 10 but Nese is still down. Will Grey learn from last time?

NOPE! Grey goes out at 9 because he wants to win this in the ring! Daivari brings up how that messed him up with Mansoor, but Grey tells him to shut up. Nese rolls Grey up, but Grey turns it around! Grey wins!!

Winner: August Grey, by pinfall

What was that about messing up? Grey won “the right way,” but Daivari says it was just dumb luck! Will AG keep getting the better of the OG on 205 Live?


My Thoughts:

A very fun, very good 205 Live to get back to new content after WrestleMania. Atlas VS Adonis was a very good match, started to feel like the early days of 205 Live that we just relived last week. Atlas and Adonis being names from Greek myth, I kinda want them to try being a team at some point. Though at the same time, that feels like something early 2000’s WWE would do and maybe it’s best if they don’t? Who knows, maybe give it a try, see if something comes of it.

Grey VS Nese was also really good, and the story that’s building with Grey and these OG is pretty good. Daivari on commentary was explaining how Grey winning against Adonis with the feet on ropes was a twinkling of him being compatible with Daivari & Nese, who are solidly Heel. But Grey resisting that and doing things the solidly Face way is a good story in itself, so I hope this is how Grey builds himself up to at least try for the Cruiserweight Championship. Grey’s got a lot of innovative moves, as well, so I’d definitely be okay with seeing him try those with Kushida, maybe even Swerve and Ruff.

My Score: 8.2/10


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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/16/21)

SmackDown is up, and WE! WANT! THE SMOKE!!

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Coverage SmackDown 2021

The SmackDown After WrestleMania puts more gold on the line!

After WrESTleMania, we have a NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion in Bianca Belair! But will we have new tag team champions to match? It’s The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits in 2v2 competition!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Otis w/ Chad Gable; Rey wins.
  • Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman VS Cesaro; cancelled.
  • Sami Zayn VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins.
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits; The Dirty Dawgs win and retain the titles.
  • Natalya w/ Tamina VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax; Natalya wins.
  • Cesaro VS Jey Uso w/ Paul Heyman; Cesaro wins, by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

Pat McAfee joins SmackDown commentary!

The Punter of the Decade joins Michael Cole and it is his honor to be here!

 

Roman Reigns heads to the ring!

The Tribal Chief is STILL WWE Universal Champion, and he again has Jey Uso and Paul Heyman by his side as he holds that belt up high in the ThunderDome. Fans boo and give thumbs down but that just makes Heyman laugh. Heyman hands the mic to Roman, but fans chant, “You Suck!” Roman says it is no secret, “we put a lot of eyes on SmackDown.” So for the new viewers, let’s tell them about the men Roman beat in the main event of WrestleMania. Heyman says he would be honored.

First is Edge, an ELEVEN time world champion, married to a hall of famer and is a hall of famer in his own right. Then there’s Daniel Bryan, a FIVE time world champion, also married to a hall of famer, and will “YES! YES! YES!” his way into the hall of fame when he retires, which should be soon after Roman stacked them and pinned them together. Take all of their accomplishments combined and the enormity of both men’s legacies, who came up against Roman, it was practically a Handicap match in THE main event of WrestleMania. McAfee agrees on commentary.

Roman says he took a page from Heyman’s playbook and Babe Ruth’d it! He called his shot: He was gonna smash ’em, stack ’em, and pin ’em 1-2-3. Then, they would #AcknowledgeMe. Now to be honest, it’s embarrassing! If Roman was another man, he’d never want to be in that situation. WWE will probably never put him in a Triple Threat again after that. Nobody wants to face Roman! No one wants that to happen to them! These were hall of famers, and he smashed ’em, stacked ’em and pinned ’em. And if he’s doing that to guys like that, who will want it next? Nobody! “Don’t nobody want to step to me now!” Not worth it! No one measures up to Roman, no one is on his level.

So after fulfilling the obligations and opened Roman’s show, cut the check, fire up the jet, time to go home. Heyman takes the mics for Roman, but here comes CESARO! The Swiss Cyborg finally had and won his first singles match at WrestleMania, and is now getting in Roman’s face! He looks at the Universal Championship, then gets a mic. Roman still takes his leave, but Cesaro figured as much. Cesaro doesn’t get to say his piece, but will he make Roman acknowledge him?

 

Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville talk backstage.

Cesaro walks by, they congratulate him on his Mania win, but he asks if they saw what “that son of a bitch” Roman did. No one is going to step up? Cesaro will. Not even for the title! He just wants a match tonight. Sonya says she’ll talk to Roman and see if he’ll accept that. Cesaro is fine with that, but is Pearce?

 

Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Otis w/ Chad Gable!

While the King and Prince of Lucha didn’t get those SmackDown Tag Team Championships off Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode, neither did the Alpha Academy. This battle has been brewing for months after Gable unleashed The Dozer on Rey’s ribs. Will Rey get his revenge and his redemption going 1v1 with the big man?

The bell rings, and Otis CLOBBERS Rey with his gut already! Otis gets Rey up, CLUBS him on the back, then looms over him as he writhes. Otis scoops Rey, pops him up to a military press, and then DROPS Rey! Gable cheers Otis on while Dom coaches Rey up. But Otis brings Rey up to SLIDE him out! Rey rolls through to come back and shoulder into Otis! Rey fires forearms, hotshots Otis away, then goes up a corner, only for Otis to trip him! Rey ends up in a Tree of Woe, Otis stomps a mudhole into him! The ref backs Otis off, but Otis comes back, only for Rey to sit up! Otis hits buckles, Rey turns around and leaps to SEATED SENTON! BASEMENT SEEATED SENTON! Cover, TOW!

Rey kicks but Otis blocks the whip. Otis whips Rey away, Rey ducks and springboards, into Otis’ arms! POWERSLAM! Gable tells Otis to keep on Rey and Otis drags him to a drop zone. Otis goes up the corner, leaps, but FLOPS as Rey rolls out of the way! Dom coaches Rey up, Gable shouts to Otis, and Rey dropkicks Otis onto ropes! Rey dials it up, but Otis comes back! Rey trips Otis onto ropes, and hits the 619! Rey hurries up top again but Otis is back up! Rey leaps, for a CRUCIFIX DRIVER! Cover, Rey wins!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall

That’s a huge win for Mysterio! The Dozer is furious but will he have to go back to the drawing board?

 

Kayla Braxton talks with Paul Heyman.

And from the look on Heyman’s face, he is both shocked and offended that SmackDown management wants Roman to compete tonight! It’ll be non-title, but will it even happen? We find out, after the break!

SmackDown returns and Kayla asks if Heyman accepts the challenge. That’s the question? Yes, because that’s what we do around here in the WWE: “We put smiles on the faces of Neanderthals, like Cesaro.” Does Kayla have any clue the enormity of the star power that is possessed by Roman and its affect on the ENTIRE WWE Universe? What happened on Saturday? Oh~ a rain delay! Rain delay, Heyman’s “kosher tuchus.” Those were the tears of the angels descending upon Tampa over the BEATING Roman was going to give, and that is what happened! Roman walked out champion, and neither Bryan nor Edge walked out of Raymond James at all.

And as Heyman was walking back with Roman, they were stepping in puddles, and Heyman said, “My goodness! Tears still descending from up above!” Except it wasn’t from the skies, but from the locker room. A visionary like Seth Rollins had to lower himself to face “a knuckle-dragging, slack-jawed, bucktooth Swiss quisling like Cesaro.” A billion dollar body but a 10 cent brain and THIS is who emerges to get in the face of Your Tribal Chief?! Cesaro is physically capable of being a great opponent, but he is not an attraction. He’s a joke!

So let’s put an end to the joke! Stop the train before it leaves the station! They will give Cesaro what he wants, tonight live on SmackDown! Cesaro in the main event against THE main event, Jey Uso. Of course Heyman had a way to change the course. But will Cesaro blast through the Right Hand Man to get at the Head of the Table, whether they like it or not?

 

Sami Zayn heads to the ring!

The Great Liberator didn’t defeat his long-time frenemy, and he didn’t even have Logan Paul on his side! And Sami loves to see the headlines outside of the one that is most accurate: “Sami Zayn Once Again SCREWED!” Where is that one, huh?! Well, does it exist…? Sami says it was his vindication! The stars were aligned, and he had the one star that matters in Logan Paul! Logan was supposed to help Sami expose the WWE and celebrate his grand victory, but that’s not how it went down, did it?

And here’s why: Logan’s mind was poisoned by Kevin Owens and the WWE Universe talking bad about Sami, like he’s a crackpot! It was poisoned by management, and the “corporate mouthpiece,” Michael Cole! They got in Logan’s head and Sami could sense it and feel it as he hugged Logan! And then in the match, of course he was distracted! Sami was worried about Logan! And that is the only reason, THE ONLY REASON, Kevin squeaked out that win. And Kevin is back there, obviously. Sami will not be denied vindication! Sami calls Kevin out for a rematch! There’s nothing to distract him, there are no toxic fans or stupid Logan Paul and his warped mind! No distractions, no way for Kevin to steal this!

But that’s why Kevin won’t come out, because- Wait, Kevin DOES come out to the ring! Kevin says if Sami’s gonna keep making excuses, then here we go! This WrestleMania rematch happens, after the break!

Sami Zayn VS Kevin Owens!

The bell rings and Sami bails out! Kevin smirks because he knew this would happen. Kevin slides out but Sami slides in. Then Kevin slide sin, but that’s a fake-out! Sami is on the outside and Kevin fires off! Kevin bounces Sami off the desk, puts him in the ring, and CHOPS him to a corner! And CHOPS again! Sami stumbles to another corner but Kevin gives him body shots! The ref counts, Kevin lets off, and then comes back, but Sami hits first! Sami whips corner to corner, Kevin comes back to CLOBBER Sami! BACK SENTON! Sami is in a corner, Kevin runs in but Sami bails out. Kevin goes to the apron but Sami hotshots him! Then BLINDSIDES him!

Sami rains down furious fists from all sides! Sami lets off to snarl and seethe. Sami puts Kevin on the ropes and chokes him! The ref counts, Sami lets off at 4 and CLUBS Kevin! Kevin gets up to CHOP back! Sami stomps Kevin to a corner, digs his boots in, and even stands on Kevin! The ref counts, Sami lets off, and then Sami throws haymakers. Kevin hits back, counter punches, and backs Sami down. Sami jawbreakers in return! Sami CHOPS Kevin against ropes, then whips him to ropes. Kevin reverses but Sami kicks back, only for Kevin to LARIAT! Kevin reels Sami in, suplexes to hang Sami out to dry, and Sami springs off the ropes to hit the mat!

Kevin fires off on Sami in a corner, hoists him up top and CHOPS him again! Kevin climbs up, Sami throws elbows and then adjusts to sunset flip POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives, Sami argues with the ref, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Sami is again fighting Kevin off on the top rope. Kevin hits back, climbs back up, and Sami throws headbutts! Kevin falls back, Sami adjusts and leaps, but Kevin gets clear! Kevin SUPERKICKS Sami down! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives but Kevin hurries right to the top rope! SWANTON BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives again and Kevin is beside himself! Kevin shakes his head as he stands Sami up, whips him, but Sami bails out to avoid a pop-up. Kevin pursues Sami as the ring count climbs, and gets him on the ramp to throw him into barriers! Kevin puts Sami back in at 5 of 10, knees low then whips, but Sami slips through the pop-up to get an arm!

Kevin fights the Half ‘n’ Half, then pump handles for the PACKAGE USHIGOROSHI!! Cover, TWO!!! Sami still survives that move, just like WrestleMania! Kevin gets annoyed, but he again has to pursue Sami on the outside. Kevin drags Sami from the barriers, puts him in, and kicks, but no Stunner! Sami again bails out, Kevin grabs at him on the apron, but Sami rakes Kevin’s eyes! The ring count is still climbing, though, but Sami wants to run away! Sami gets himself counted out, Kevin wins!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by count-out

Kevin wins again, but it seems Sami didn’t want revenge that badly. But Kevin pursues and goes after Sami with fists at the ramp! Kevin puts Sami in the ring, kicks and STUNNERS! It seems Kevin still hasn’t beaten sense into Sami, will these two #JustKeepFighting?

 

Apollo Crews speaks.

“All of Nigeria has not stopped celebrating, ever since I smashed Big E into oblivion and I became the new Intercontinental Champion!” And he would give Big E a rematch tonight, but he’s not here. And do you know why? Two words: Nigerian Nail! That is the name of the move used by this giant beside Apollo here. This is his commander of the guard, Azeez, former member of the Nigerian Elite Guard. If anyone dares come for Apollo, they will be annihilated by the Nigerian Nail!

 

The Street Profits head to the ring!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are going to be facing the Dirty Dawgs for the tag titles later tonight, but first they are going to celebrate the NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion! This will be the EST of celebrations, after the break!

SmackDown returns and Ford says it’s Friday Night, and he’s feelin’ right! Dawkins says it is official takeback season! Time to do spring cleaning to send Dolph & Roode back through that time warp they came out of so they can return to 1986. Oh, and about getting the shine back on those SmackDown tag titles! Right! The Dirty Dawgs will get snatched, but that’s not the only reason why the Solo cups are raised high. It’s been a long time, and they got some inspiration this past weekend. Some motivation! WrestleMania was a night for the ages, a night to remember!

One match in particular will be something Ford tells his grandkids about! That is the historic, the glass ceiling shattering SmackDown Women’s Championship! ROLL TAPE! Sasha Banks VS Bianca Belair, WrestleMania 37 Night One, the main event! Headlines were marking how amazing it was even before the bell, and no one could deny it after! We have a NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion, and it is Bianca Belair! Dawkins has the feels, fam! Ford says that as we just saw, the party isn’t over! The champagne for the campaign is not done popping. Saturday, that was a genuine moment that will be with them for the rest of their lives. And they just want to share that joy with the fans!

So they introduce to use, the roughest, the toughest, the quickest, the strongest, and the greatest part of Ford’s life, the NEW WWE SmackDown Women’s Champion, the EST, no no no, THE E S T of the W W E, BIANCA BELAIR!! Bianca makes her entrance, Ford and Dawkins sing her praises and the fans cheer on their ThunderDome screens! Bianca is handed a mic, and she feels like he’s been floating since Saturday! Her mind is blown, her heart is filled, and she feels blessed. But despite the setbacks, the struggles, she never stopped believing that this moment was possible.

And her family has been making history for generations, they are the ones who showed her that when you demand greatness from yourself, that no matter how hard the game gets, you can change the game! If you were to have asked her a year ago if she could ever imagine main-eventing Mania, winning the SmackDown Women’s Championship… Well she probably would’ve said yes! But that’s not because she’s cocky. That’s because she’s unapologetically her. Everyone has a little EST in them, and when you find it, you know that you’re talented and working hard, you never need to apologize for saying you are the B-E-S-T! “Because if you can dream it, you can do it.”

Bianca showed up, showed out, but it isn’t just about her. Sasha Banks, Bianca thanks you. There is no one she would’ve rather shared that spotlight because Sasha pushed her to her limits and it takes two. They BOTH made history. But… If Sasha ever tries to forget it, just know that Bianca left you with something to remember her by. That hair whip did leave a mark… But this is also about Sasha, too. This moment is so much bigger than them. This is about all the girls watching at Raymond James and at home, who saw Bianca and saw themselves. This is for you! That was Mania magic, but we’re only getting started!

Ford and Bianca hug, Dawkins joins in for a family moment, and Bianca says it’s time to drop the cups, throw the tissues away, and get those titles again. They only wear gold in this house. The Profits and the new SmackDown Women’s Champion are up, and #WeWantTheSmoke! Will this trio become truly golden after tonight?

 

Backstage interview with Sasha Banks.

After seeing Bianca out there, she is in no mood. The Boss still has the mark on her side, and she seethes. She takes a second to cool off, but it doesn’t work, and she storms off. Will Sasha find a way back to that title and to WrestleMania revenge?

 

Backstage interview with Bayley.

The Role Model acknowledges that Cesaro was super impressive with the UFO spin, as footage is replayed, but what about Sasha? She probably wants a rematch but is so angry she can’t say it. While Bayley was super busy trying to save both nights of Mania, Bianca was in the main event crying. Even before the match began! No one wants to say it but Bayley will: those tears was because Bianca thought she couldn’t win. Is that who you want as champion? And now she’s showboating and arrogant! That is NOT the kind of champion we should want!

So there is only one way to fix this, and restore dignity to the title: for Bayley, the longest reigning SmackDown Women’s Champion ever, to challenge Bianca and take that title! Will Bayley cut Sasha in line and get back to the gold first?

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Dirty Dawgs VS The Street Profits!

The Show-Off & The Glorious One made it through #WrestleManiaSmackDown and its Fatal 4 Way with these titles, but now they’re 2v2 with Ford & Dawkins! Will takeback season work out for the fam? We find out, after the break!

SmackDown returns and the titles are raised. Teams sort out, Ziggler starts with Dawkins and they circle. They feel out the grapple, Ziggler shoots in but Dawkins sprawls then shifts to a waistlock. Ziggler gets the ropebreak, the ref counts but Ziggler elbows free! Ziggler dares Dawkins to get up, then he gets Dawkins only for Dawkins to DECK him! Tag to Ford, the Profits whip Ziggler, Dawkins drops and Ford dropkicks Ziggler down! Cover, TWO! Ford gets Ziggler back up, snapmares him to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Ford keeps Ziggler from Roode, wrenches and armlocks to tag in Dawkins. Ford wrenches the arm again and again, Dawkins drops ax handles!

Dawkins wrenches, tags Ford back in, and now Ford drops ax handles! Ford mocks Roode but Ziggler ROCKS Ford! Roode tags in but Ford reverses the whip to send Ziggler into Roode! Tag to Dawkins, the Profits double whip to DOUBLE FLAPJACK! Ziggler comes in, but gets a DOUBLE FLAPJACK onto Roode! Ford throws Ziggler out, Dawkins gives Roode the CYCLONE SPLASH! Dawkins keeps moving, BULLDOG! Then a BIG shoulder tackle! The Profits are fired WAY up as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns again and Dawkins covers Roode, TWO! Dawkins keeps on Roode with a headlock, Roode powers out but Dawkins runs him over! Things keep moving, Dawkins leaping back elbows! Roode avoids the cyclone but Dawkins elbows him away. Ziggler distracts but Dawkins DECKS him, only to run into a GLORIOUS SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Ziggler tags in and DECKS Ford! Ziggler gets Dawkins up for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Ziggler tags Roode back in, the Dirty Dawgs mug Dawkins and Roode stomps Dawkins down. Roode brings Dawkins up to suplex high and hard, covers, TWO! Roode argues the count but it was fair.

Tag to Ziggler, the Dawgs mug Dawkins, and Ziggler taunts Ford before daring Dawkins to stand. Dawkins gets up, Ziggler slaps him around, but his dropkick is caught for a CATAPULT! Ziggler hits buckle and then the mat! Ford fires up on his corner and fans rally on the ThunderDome screens. Ziggler and Dawkins crawl, hot tags to Ford and Roode! Ford rallies with big clotheslines, then he TOSSES Ziggler for good measure! Dropkick for Roode, dropkick for Ziggler! Ford dodges Roode to BLOCKBUSTER! Ford CLOBBERS Ziggler! Ford whips Roode, Roode reverses and reels For din but Ford lands out of the back suplex to give a back suplex! Kip up and STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!

Roode bails out to join Ziggler, Ford has a target! Ford builds speed, tags Dawkins as he FLIES! Direct hit to the Dawgs and Ford gets Roode in for Dawkins! Dawkins gets Roode up, THE ANOINTMENT! Tag to Ford, he climbs, and leaps FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, Ziggler breaks it!! Dawkins gets Ziggler up but Ziggler throws him to clothesline Dawkins and himself out! Ford DECKS Ziggler, gets Roode up and fires off fists in a corner! The ref backs Ford off, and Ziggler sneaks a tag in! Ford doesn’t know, he whips but Roode reverses. Ford goes up and over, into a ZIGZAG!!! Cover, the Dawgs win!!

Winners: The Dirty Dawgs, by pinfall

As fired up as Ford was, Ziggler & Roode find a way to survive! Is this the end of takeback season? Will the Dawgs move on to new challengers in the wake of WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Cesaro.

While denying him a match with Roman Reigns, Heyman said some rather derogatory things about Cesaro. His response? “I think Paul Heyman is right.” Cesaro admits he has buck teeth, a slack jaw, and that he isn’t the smartest. And with his long arms, maybe he does look like a Neanderthal. But he’s wrong about one thing: Cesaro DOES belong in the ring with Roman Reigns, and will prove it tonight by beating the Right Hand Man!

 

Heyman talks with Roman in their VIP room.

Roman doesn’t like that Cesaro isn’t just accepting things. Roman wants Jey to teach him a lesson. Will Jey Uso check Cesaro off the list for Roman?

 

Natalya w/ Tamina VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax!

Though the #BOAT and Daughter of Superfly won the Tag Team Turmoil, they could not win the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships. Can the Queen of Harts redeem herself with another win over the Queen of Spades?

The bell rings, the two tie up and Natty gets a headlock. Shayna powers out, things speed up and Natty ducks to get a waistlock. Shayna blocks the lift, wrenches free and fires off hands and kicks! Shayna knees but Natty deflects it to get the legs! Natty steps through, but Shayna scramble’s and Nia saves her! Tamina storms over, Shayna gets back in the ring, but Natty is waiting! They tie up, Natty trips Shayna, floats to a facelock, but Shayna slips out to hammerlock. Natty gets up, slips through, wrenches, but Shayna wrenches back. Natty rolls, handsprings and gets a leg. Shayna sprawls to block, then shifts to a waistlock and slam, to the ARMBAR!

Natty endures, clasps hands, but Shayna pulls. Shayna stands to get the arm and hammerlocks it into the mat! This time, Tamina says Natty! Natty hotshots Shayna down, Nia storms over and the ref has to keep her and Tamina from throwing down. Natty gets in but Shayna KNEES Her down! Cover, TWO! Shayna grows frustrated, Natty goes to a corner and she elbows Shayna away. Natty spins, DISCUS CLOTHESLINE! Natty goes for legs but Nia gets on the apron! The ref reprimands but Shayna KICKS Natty down! KIRAFUDA, but Natty throws Shayna at Nia! Shayna stops herself, Natty rolls her up, AND WINS!

Winner: Natalya, by pinfall

Nia goes after Natty but Tamina SUPERKICKS her down!! Tamina and Natty aren’t done with the Irresistible Force or Queen of Spades! Will the second time around be the second generation superstars’ time to shine?

 

Jey Uso speaks.

“Cesaro, Cesaro. Boy, you’s a one hit move, huh? King of spin, king of swing, it’s all the same! That’s a cute airplane you did with no hands. But let me ask you something: can you do that with no teeth?!” You’re disrespecting the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table! Now you’ve crossed the Right Hand Man, and now Jey has to get you! He’ll show you why he is #MainEventJey! Jey vows to #GETIM, and Roman says, “You heard the man. Now he’s gonna show you.”

 

Cesaro VS Jey Uso w/ Paul Heyman!

The Swiss Cyborg shows no fear in the face of the Reigns-ing, Defending, Undisputed, (hardly) Uncontroverted Universal Champion, but the NEW winner of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal wants to change that. Will Jey be the one to learn something from the original winner of that match?

The bell rings and Cesaro gets Jey right up with a SLAM! Cesaro headlocks, Jey powers out and things speed up, and Cesaro catches Jey for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, ONE!! Cesaro keeps his focus as Jey goes to the apron. Jey gets to a corner but Cesaro bumps him off buckles. Jey counter punches, SLAMS Cesaro’s hand on the crossbar, then pulls the arm through the bars! Jey then kicks, but Cesaro blocks to hotshot the leg! Cesaro BOOTS Jey down and then goes out to pursue. Cesaro leaps from the apron, into a SUPERKICK! Main Event Jey evens things in the main event as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns once more and Jey cranks on an armlock. Cesaro throws body shots, whips but Jey reverses, to SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Jey keeps on Cesaro with a stomp to the shoulder! Jey ROCKS Cesaro with an uppercut, then wraps an arm around the ropes to pull! The ref counts, Jey lets off at 4, and then brings Cesaro around to suplex. Cesaro blocks it, then gets Jey up for a suplex of his own! Fans rally on their screens as Jey crawls his way to a corner. Cesaro snarls, aims at Jey and runs in, only to be put on the apron. Cesaro ROCKS Jey first, climbs up top, and leaps for a BIG CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO!

Cesaro shakes out the arms, drags Jey back up, but Jey wrenches to WRING the arm out! SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO!! Cesaro survives but he is in a daze as he gets to a corner. Jey runs corner to corner, HIP ATTACK! Cover, TWO! Cesaro shakes out the arms again but Jey sees him in a drop zone. Jey climbs up, but Cesaro gets up to DROPKICK Jey down! Jey hangs on to keep from falling to the floor, but Cesaro climbs up to get him. Cesaro gets Jey back to the top, Jey fights with body shots and Cesaro hops down. EuroUpper SHORYUKEN! Cesaro gets Jey up for a SUPER GUT WRENCH SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Jey survives but Cesaro keeps focus.

Jey crawls, Cesaro brings him around, and reels him in! Jey fights the Gotch to wring the arm but Cesaro cartwheels! Cesaro dodges to springboard EuroUpper! Cover, TWO! Cesaro is a bit surprised, but he gets Jey’s legs! Jey kicks Cesaro away, but Cesaro comes back. Jey blocks a boot but gets a EuroUpper! Jey ducks the clothesline to pop-up NECKBREAKER!! Cover, TWO!! Cesaro survives and Jey is furious! Both men slowly rise but Jey is after Cesaro first. Jey throws down haymakers, then SLAPS Cesaro! And slaps him more! Cesaro SLAPS back! And fires off furious palm strikes then furious EuroUppers!! Shots from all sides! Cesaro runs, and LARIATS! Cover, TWO!

Cesaro is seething, but he calls for the spin! Cesaro gets Jey into a SPINEBUSTER, to then get the wings! SWISS SWING!! Michael Cole & Pat McAfee count, but Cesaro doesn’t get past 5 before SETH ROLLINS attacks!!

Winner: Cesaro, by disqualification

The Architect won’t let it go! He doesn’t want anyone anywhere getting swung by Cesaro! Cesaro still wins the match because of this, but he is staggering about. Rollins shouts, “You were done with me?! You got lucky!! ONE TIME! This isn’t over! Nothing is over until I SAY IT’S OVER!! I am the END ALL BE ALL of this industry! And the sooner you figure it out, the better it’s gonna be!” The Savior of SmackDown has all but snapped, but will he be going for another spin before this is all said and done?


My Thoughts:

Well, this was a pretty good post WrestleMania episode. Then some stuff made it like most typical WWE programming. There are a few things that are clearly being set up for WrestleMania Backlash, and they’re all WrestleMania rematches because that’s literally what that PPV becomes when you name it that in such a lazy manner. I am glad Cesaro is the next one stepping up to Roman Reigns, but they’re clearly doing everything they can to stretch this story so that the match will happen at a PPV bigger than Backlash. Cesaro getting the runaround from Roman’s team was a good way to do it, but I’m not sure about Cesaro VS Rollins 2. It’ll be a great match, but is it really necessary? Of course, WWE did repeat the UFO airplane spin a lot, so them running it into the ground is actually a good sign that Cesaro will win, and is going to be the next challenger to Roman’s title.

Natty getting another fairly quick win over Shayna and Tamina knocking Nia down is surely a sign that we’re getting a rematch between those teams for the tag titles at Backlash. But if that is where Tamina & Natty are going to win the titles, it’s profoundly stupid. They should’ve just let Natty & Tamina win at Mania, and then it’d be about Nia & Shayna getting the belts back at Backlash, a much more logical route. The celebration promo for Bianca was great, and while Sasha wants a rematch, Bayley wants her own match with Bianca, so I’m hoping there’s a difference here in that Backlash gives us another Sasha VS Bayley match, winner faces Bianca at the PPV after that.

Dawgs VS Profits was a great match, especially for television, but I am really surprised the Profits didn’t win tonight. I get that the moment Bianca and the Profits are all wearing gold is going to be big, but then why not do that on the SmackDown After Mania? Make tonight feel big because it should be big! Is WrestleMania Backlash really going to be where they do it? I feel like that’s them forcing Backlash to feel special rather than letting it be special by surprise. Rey VS Otis was good, and clearly this feud isn’t over yet, and the winner of that will surely line up for the tag titles.

Kevin VS Sami tonight was also great stuff, a lot of similar spots to the match they had at Mania, but the count-out seems like another way to extend things. I have a feeling something’s gotta give at Backlash, and I hope Kevin & Sami finally start towards the tag titles. Apollo had a good promo to introduce Dabba-Kato’s new form, Commander Azeez, and the name of his finisher. The Nigerian Nail is pretty much a direct translation of the Samoan Spike, which is what the move was when Umaga used it. Big E VS Azeez has to be coming, perhaps with the stipulation that if Big E wins, he gets his rematch with Apollo at Backlash. Honestly, it all feels like WWE is spinning their wheels because Vince is rolling around in the $1 BILLION from NBC.

My Score: 8.2/10


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