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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Results & Report! (5/6/19)

The Big Dog does what he wants!

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Raw better watch out because The Big Dog is back! Roman Reigns won’t let Shane O’Mac order him around, but will he be setting himself up for disaster?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Seth Rollins & AJ Styles VS ???; Baron Corbin & Bobby Lashley win.
  • Six Man Tag: Lucha House Party VS ???; Lucha House Party wins.
  • Ricochet VS Robert Roode; Ricochet wins and is still in the Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match.
  • Lacey Evans VS Allie Katrina; Evans wins.
  • The Viking Raiders VS Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder; The Viking Raiders win.
  • Drew McIntyre VS Roman Reigns; Reigns wins, by disqualification.
  • The Good Brothers VS The Revival; No Contest.
  • Lars Sullivan VS No Way Jose; No Contest.
  • WWE Championship: Kofi Kingston VS Daniel Bryan; Kingston wins and retains the WWE Championship.

PLAY BY PLAY

Vince McMahon returns to Raw!

The Chairman is in Cincinnati and heads right to the ring to welcome everyone to the show! And tonight will be one for the ages! It will be one no one can forget! Why? Because Vince is here! But so is the BIG DOG! Roman Reigns returns to Raw just like he promised on social media! And clearly, Vince is not happy about it. Roman is meant to be a SmackDown superstar now, so he shouldn’t be here. Plus, the last time Roman and Vince were in the same arena, Roman gave Vince a Superman Punch! Roman joins Vince in the ring again, but Vince threatens Roman that if he hits Vince again, the police will arrest him! And again, Roman shouldn’t be here when he’s on SmackDown.

Roman tells Vince to watch his tone. Roman is on SmackDown, but Raw has been Roman’s home for a long time. He promises to leave this place better than he found it, but then the McMahon Family promise the fans are the authority. Apparently that was a lie, because what have the McMahons done? They’re running around abusing power. Roman says it’s over, because he doesn’t listen to them or their orders. He listens to the WWE Universe. So Roman can just show up and fans will like it? Cincy seems to, and that’s reason enough. But Vince says that won’t happen, so don’t even go there. There’d be anarchy if that happened! But wait, is that… Daniel Bryan!? Another SmackDown star, on Raw?!

The Planet’s Champion walks right down the ramp and grabs himself a mic before stepping into the ring. Vince is having a nightmare, isn’t he? What’s Bryan doing here? Bryan says that “ever since the travesty” at Wrestlemania, where he was robbed by Kofi Kingston, Bryan has spent his time in solitude. Fans cheer for Kofi which only annoys Bryan. Bryan says he was meditating, searching for answers that only leaders of the world could understand. So when Bryan heard “The Big Dog” was going to show up here, Bryan figured he and Vince could have a conversation. But wait, here comes the WWE Champion!! SmackDown’s Kofi Kingston is here, too!? What is going on?!

Fans are loving having Kofi here. Kofi wants to celebrate with the people a bit. And yea, the Superstar Shake-Up happened, but if Bryan has a problem, he didn’t need to go to the McMahons. “Forget the McMahons, come to me.” Because Kofi is the W, W, E, World, Heavy, weight, CHAMPION~! Bryan is fine with that. Kofi is “an undeserving champion” who should have never gotten that title shot! Kofi’s 11 year journey was so hard because he was just a novelty act! “And yet, here I am!” And there’s nothing Bryan can do about it! Vince shouts over everyone, he has an epiphany! Perhaps there should be a Wild Card Rule! The Shake-Up is always great, but there really should be three members from SmackDown who can show up on Raw and vice-versa so that no one can tell what’ll happen! Vince is a genius!

So was this Vince’s “plan” the whole time? That’s fine by Kofi, but he just knows he saw Roman tweeting about showing up. And without Big E and Xavier Woods, Kofi had a free Monday so he just figured he’d show up, too. Why let Roman have all the fun? Bryan wants them to stop, Mondays aren’t fun. Bryan isn’t here for fun, he’s here for his WWE Championship! Fans boo and Bryan shouts for them to shut up. But here comes Drew McIntyre! The Scottish Terminator says that if Vince can’t get this under control, and if no other superstar has a pair, then he’ll take care of this himself! This is not SmackDown Presents Raw. Kofi and Bryan should be so lucky that McIntyre hates Roman more. Roman thinks he can do what he wants? That the rules don’t apply to him?

Roman was put on SmackDown so he could avoid McIntyre then punch his boss in the face! Roman’s an egomaniac and McIntyre vows to Claymore him back down to Earth! Well it didn’t really work out at Mania so go ahead and try. Wait, Vince has another genius idea: a Wrestlemania Rematch! No, two Wrestlemania rematches! And the second one is for the WWE Championship! Vince pats himself on the back for being so brilliant, but wait! Is that AJ Styles!? The Phenomenal One keeps Vince from leaving because he has something to talk about, after the break.

Raw returns and AJ Styles stands alone with Vince.

Okay, Styles, what’s up? “What are you doing?!” Styles can’t understand what’s going on. Styles finally joins Raw in the Shake-Up, but then SmackDown stars are showing up just because? Well there’s an explanation now: the new Wild Card Rule! Seriously? How convenient. Styles spent years making SmackDown the House that AJ Styles Built, and now that he finally sinks his teeth into Raw and the Universal Championship, Seth Rollins’ best friend shows up! Is that how it’s going to work? Because if so, maybe Styles should go to SmackDown and brings more of his friends. No, it’s three possible invitations between Raw and SmackDown, for the excitement. But speaking of exciting, here comes Seth Rollins!

The Architect storms right to the ring but Vince keeps the peace. Rollins is still pissed about Styles sucker punching him in the contract signing. And then Styles talks about SmackDown being his show? The show that’s been around 20 years and over 1000 episodes? That show was fine before Styles and is still fine without him. But this isn’t even SmackDown, this is Monday Night Rollins! Styles knows where he is. And he knows what he did. Rollins should try to be a good sport. But what did he do? He rejected the handshake and shoved the title in styles’ face. If Rollins isn’t gonna treat Styles like a man, Styles will be the man who kicks Rollins’ ass! And Styles gave him a Phenomenal Forearm through that table.

And nothing will change at Money in the Bank. Well, maybe something. Because when Styles hits the Phenomeanl Forearm again, he’ll be Universal Champion. Vince says these two should compete tonight! But not 1v1! As a tag team! Vince will find a team to face them! But Rollins refuses. Vince says he has no choice. Because this is another brilliant idea from Vince McMahon! Vince says their match is up next! Will Rollins and Styles find a way to work together? Or will they burn each other down even before MITB?

 

Seth Rollins & AJ Styles VS ???

Vince McMahon’s handpicked team for the Architect and the Phenomenal One is… The Rocky Mountain Machine, Bobby Lashley, with the former acting GM, the former Golden Gloves champion, the former WWE United States Champion, the former Mr. Money in the Bank, and “Cincinnati’s Favorite Son”, Baron Corbin! The Lone Wolf teams with the All Mighty again, will they make easy pickings of the champ and his challenger?

The teams sort out and Rollins starts against Corbin. They circle and tie up. Corbin gets a headlock but Rollins powers out. Corbin runs him over then speeds things up. Rollins dropkicks Corbin down! Rollins wrenches and actually tags Styles in. Corbin gets away and Lashley tags in. Lashley circles with Styles and they tie up. Lashley powers Styles to a corner then dares him to come back. They circle again and Styles gets a headlock. Lashley powers out and bumps Styles. Lashley goes again but Styles speeds up to dropkick Lashley! Rollins applauds Styles showing he can do the same moves. Styles headlocks and holds on as Lashley tries to power out. Lashley gets out the second time but Styles holds ropes.

Rollins tags in and Styles boots Lashley. Rollins kicks then Styles kicks, then Rollins clotheslines Lashley out. Corbin runs in and Rollins warns Styles. Styles dodges and Corbin gets Rollins haymaker. Styles clotheslines Corbin out! Rollins slingshots out onto Lashley! Styles slingshots out onto Corbin! Both men continue to play Horse, anything one can do, the other can, too! They get back in the ring and argue with each other while we go to break.

Raw returns and Rollins fights off Lashley! Rollins whips but Lashley reverses to send Rollins into buckles hard. Lashley stomps Rollins out then drags him up and over for a complete shot! Cover, TWO! Lashley glares at Styles then drags Rollins up to throw him out. Rollins hits hard, and Lashley distracts so Corbin can stomp Rollins. Corbin tags in and fetches Rollins to ram him into barriers! Fans boo as Corbin puts Rollins back in the ring. Corbin stays between Rollins and Styles as he kicks Rollins down. Corbin sits Rollins up to drive his elbow in. He then wraps Rollins up in a half nelson chinbar. Rollins fights his way up and jawbreakers out! Rollins dodges Corbin but Corbin slides out then in to clobber Rollins! Cover, TWO!

Corbin stalks Rollins to a corner to stomp away. The ref backs Lashley off and then keeps Styles back. Corbin puts Rollins up top to throw forearms. Corbin climbs to join Rollins, but he takes too long soaking up the heat as Rollins headbutts Corbin away! Rollins jumps for a blockbuster! Both men are down but fans fire up. Rollins crawls, but so does Corbin, hot tags to Lashley and Styles! Styles throws a Phenomenal Blitz at Lashley! And a sliding forearm! Styles knips up then runs in at Lashley for a big clothesline! He wants the Clash but Lashley powers him to the corner. Lashley runs back in but Styles boots back. Corbin runs over but gets elbowed down, Lashley SPEARS Styles off the apron! Everyone crashes and burns!

The referee checks on them all but Lashley gets up first. Lashley drags Styles up to ram him into barriers! Lashley soaks up the heat as he brings Styles back over. He puts him in the ring to cover, TWO! Lashley scoops Styles to a shoulder, but Styles slips out to dropkick Lashley back! Corbin tags in, but Styles PELES Lashley! Corbin goes after Styles but gets an enziguri! Lashley drags Rollins off the apron to ram him into barriers! Corbin clobbers Styles from behind then kicks him out of the ring. Corbin and Lashley have the Universal Champion and #1 contender down and out while we go to break.

Raw returns again Styles endures Lashley’s neck wrench. Fans rally up and Styles feeds off the energy to fight out. Lashley shoves and then back drops Styles! Cover, but Styles gets out at ONE! Lashley cradles for a cover, TWO! Tag to Corbin and the two mug Styles on the ropes. Corbin argues with the ref while Styles drags himself up on the apron. Styles shoulders in then slingshots, but into a haymaker! Cover, TWO! Corbin grows furious with Styles, but then he mocks Rollins’ Burn It Down. Corbin brings Stylesu p but Styles fires off! Styles misses the backhand and Corbin back suplexes. Styles lands on his feet to tag in Rollins! Rollins springboards and rallies on Corbin and Lashley!

Rollins jumps over Corbin to then DIVE onto Lashley! Then he kicks Corbin to hit the Slingblade! He clotheslines Corbin out, to DIVE onto both Corbin and Lashley! He puts Corbin back in and climbs up top. Rollins leaps for the flying elbow! Cover, but Lashley breaks it! Lashley drags Rollins up but Styles forearms Lashley out! Styles wrecks Lashley with a dropkick! Corbin rolls up Rollins, TWO! Corbin throws a forearm, Rollins PELES! Rollins mule kicks then stomps, “Burn It Down!” Fans chant along as Rollins mule kicks. But Corbin staggers into Styles’ forearm, which pinballs him into Rollins! Styles springboards, Phenomenal Forearm gets Rollins!! It was on accident this time, but Styles decides to leave it at that. And leave all together! Rollins turns around, END OF DAYS! Cover, Corbin & Lashley win!

Winners: Baron Corbin & Bobby Lashley, Corbin pinning

The Lone Wolf pins the Universal Champion! Of course, Styles did all the work with that hit. Accident or not, Styles and Rollins will settle this soon enough. Will Styles give Rollins a third Phenomenal Forearm to become the Phenomenal Universal Champion?

 

The Miz waits for Shane McMahon outside his office.

Will the A-Lister give The Best in the World quite the welcome to Cincinnati?

 

Sami Zayn’s back on Raw!

What will the Critic of the Critics have to say about the WWE Universe now? Find out after the break.

Raw returns and Sami wonders what fans will complain about now. We got Roman Reigns, we’ll get Kofi VS Bryan for the title, so what is there to dislike? Sami heard the fans and it sounded like they liked it. Sami liked it, too. But the difference is that when Sami enjoys something and fans enjoy something, is that after things wear off, the fans are still them. They’re still stuck with that “miserable person that you see in the mirror”, all the time! Because fixing yourself is hard. Sami put in hard work to fix himself, but complaining is easy! And that’s why fans do it! It’s the easy way out, and the fans are just cowards. Fans boo and call Sami “Boring! Boring!” but Sami can hear the critics tomorrow-

BRAUN!! The Monster Among Men storms his way out and Sami figures the talking is over. Sami takes off his jacket and hat, and then runs away! Strowman doesn’t let him get away, though, but then Sami goes through the WWE Universe. Strowman keeps his eyes on Sami, and finds an intersection. Sami runs even faster but Strowman keeps chase! They go past commentary and into the backstage area! Will Strowman catch up to Sami and shut him up?

We cut backstage during entrances to see Strowman is almost upon Sami! Sami throws what he can in Strowman’s path, but gets a dead end garage door! Sami pulls on the chain but it isn’t enough. He tells Strowman this has nothing to do with him, but then the door opens. Sami crawls but Strowman catches him like a horror movie! Strowman yanks Sami up, scoops him, and throws him in the dumpster! “Who’s the coward now?” But then Strowman hears the garbage truck coming. The truck grabs the dumpster Sami was in, and starts lifting! It dumps the dumpster into the back!! Is Sami going to get compacted?!

 

Six Man Tag: Lucha House Party VS ???

Kalisto, Lince Dorado & Gran Metalik keep Cinco de Mayo going on Seis de Mayo with their lucha power! Will they gain a needed win on Raw to keep afloat in the tag team division?

The bell rings and Kalisto SUPERKICKS the man in orange. The other two run in but Gran Metalik springboard missile dropkicks them out! Lince tags in and Kalisto BOOTS the man in orange. Lince crossbodies Mr. Orange then tags Kalisto back in. Kailsto tags Metalik in before getting the boosted splash! Lince hits the Planking then Metalik walks the ropes to missile dropkick! Tag to Kalisto and Mr. Orange gets Salida Del Sol! Metalik tags in for an elbow drop! Lince tags in for a Golden Shooting Star! Cover, Lucha House Party wins!

Winners: Lucha House Party, Lince pinning

That was almost too easy. Will the luchadores climb the ranks towards the Raw Tag Team Championships?

 

Natalya and Naomi find envelopes in their lockers.

The Sassy Southern Belle, Ms. Lacey Evans, invites them all to ringside for her match later tonight. “Formal ringside attire required.” Who is she to tellt hem how to dress? This is so tacky. And if she tries sucker punching them, she’s gonna get Naomi’s left and right. Dana Brooke also has an invitation. This is because they’re all in the Women’s MITB, isn’t it? She must be planning something. And do the envelopes smell like peach cobbler? Who does that? Lacey has got to go.

 

The Miz still waits.

Shane hasn’t arrived to Raw, but Miz seems willing to wait all night if he has to.

 

Ricochet VS Robert Roode!

The One and Only is one of eight men in the Men’s Money in the Bank match, for now. He wants to prove he’s better than The GLORIOUS One by putting that spot on the line! Will Ricochet lose his own gamble and be out of a golden opportunity?

Raw returns as Roode makes his entrance. The bell rings and Roode powers Ricochet right to a corner. Roode stomps a mudhole into Ricochet but then backs up not to be disqualified. He still comes back for more stomps, but then backs off again. Roode CHOPS Ricochet then whips him corner to corner. Ricochet goes up and over and speeds things up. He slides off Roode’s back then tilt-o-whirl headscissors Roode down. He dropkicks Roode, too, then runs back in. Roode puts him on the apron but Ricochet shoulders back. Ricochet springboards but Roode shoves him down! Roode goes after Ricochet to bump him off the apron. Roode throws Ricochet in to slam him off the apron! And then he uses the apron skirt to blindfold Ricochet before clubbing away on him!

Roode drags Ricochet to a cover, TWO! He clamps on Ricochet with a chinlock. Fans rally up as Ricochet endures. Ricochet powers his way up but Roode grabs his nose. Roode knees low then reels Ricochet in for a big lariat! Cover, TWO! Roode keeps his cool as he clubs away on Ricochet’s chest. Roode puts another chinlock on but Ricochet snapmares out. Ricochet gets to a corner and boots Roode away. Somersault gets caught into a catapult! But Ricochet lands to moonsault DDT back! Fans fire up as Ricochet builds speed. Ricochet rallies on Roode with forearms, then a fireman’s carry. Roode slips out and clubs Ricochet. Ricochet elbows back then brings Roode out for European Uppercuts. Roode gives him a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!

Roode grows frustrated with Ricochet as he stalks him to another corner. He drags Ricochet up and puts him on the top rope. Roode CHOPS Ricochet and climbs up, but Ricochet fights him off. Roode falls into the drop zone, and Ricochet hits the 630 Senton! Cover, Ricochet wins!

Winner: Ricochet, by pinfall; keeps his spot in the Money in the Bank match

The King of Flight flies high and stays in the ladder match! But will he ascend to even greater heights by becoming the new Mr. Money in the Bank?

 

Rey Mysterio and Dominique walk and talk backstage.

They’re both feeling great, because now the King of Lucha Libre is getting a WWE United States Championship match! Mysterio pinned Samoa Joe last week and now the match has been made for MITB! Dominique heads out, but Samoa Joe is stalking him!! What will the Destroyer do to the Son of Mysterio!?

 

Raw returns to Joe talking to Dominique.

Joe is actually glad to be meeting Dominique face-to-face. There’s a saying in the business, “If you show up here, show up like you’ve been here.” But Dominique’s been here before with Papa Rey and “Uncle” Eddie. Dominique was so excited to celebrate with Rey. That means he and Rey made an effort to humiliate Joe. Dominique defends that’s not why, but Joe says he’s not done talking! Take this message to daddy: Mysterio may have been the better man last week, but Joe is actually very excited to defend the title at MITB. Joe lets Dominique leave, but how will Mysterio take his message?

 

Lacey Evans VS Allie Katrina!

The Sassy Southern Belle sent invitations to this match so that everyone could see what she does tonight. Of course, she really wants The Man to be watching this closely, but will Becky “Two Belts” Lynch even care?

And to everyone’s surprise, Naomi, Dana and Natty actually show up! But not just them, here comes The Goddess! Alexa Bliss joins in watching this match. The bell rings and Lacey throws her opponent to the corner! Lacey then thrashes and chokes her opponent, but stops at the ref’s count of 4. Then she boots her opponent back down! Lacey dabs the sweat off with a handkerchief before hitting the swinging bronco buster! She then drags Katrina up for the Woman’s Right! Cover, Lacey wins!

Winner: Lacey Evans, by pinfall

Well, the Model Soldier did what she wanted to in showing off to the rest of the Raw Women’s Division. She also picks up the mic to thank them for coming to “such a classy event.” Though she expected RSVP’s, but oh well. Now as to why she invited the “nasties” out here, is because they all deserved a front row seat to see what a lady is capable of. It’ll be the same at MITB when Becky Two Belts loses it all, courtesy of the Woman’s Right. Now one of these four might become Ms. MITB. Hopefully they’re all smarter than they look. Because if they have the audacity to cash in on Lacey, they’ll quickly regret it. “Because y’all will come up short, just like The Man”- But speaking of, here comes Becky!

The Champ Champ swaggers down the ramp ad puts her belts down to bring the fight! She throws hands on Lacey! Lacey runs away but Becky won’t let her get away! Cincy is fired up as Becky throws her around the ring. Dana, Natty and Naomi cheer Becky on as she goes for the Disarm-Her! Lacey escapes but just barely. Will Lacey be able to stay classy against Becky when they finally have it out for the Raw Women’s Championship?

 

Daniel Bryan paces.

The Planet’s Champion seems to be plotting. “Kofi Kingston’s constant shilling as WWE Champion”, from pancakes to merchandise, is a threat to our very existence! That is why Bryan has no choice but to remove Kofi as a role model for both the WWE Universe and the human race! Kofi is not a champion nor a role model, he is pretending! Bryan vows to reclaim that title and be what he was born to be: the Planet’s Champion.

 

The Usos stake out the Raw Locker Room.

Jimmy & Jey sneak around looking for something. Or perhaps someone?

 

The Viking Raiders VS Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder!

Erik & Ivar have been bringing the fight to the Raw Tag Division since arriving! But the Major Brothers aren’t going to be seen as underdog champions any longer! Will Hawkins & Ryder take down their biggest threats? Or will they only go through a painful Viking Experience?

The bell rings, and Ryder 7 Hawkins are ready for the bumrush! They dodge and dropkick the Vikings then throw Erik out to focus on Ivar. Hawkins tags Ryder and Ryder throws forearms and headbutts. Tag to Hawkins and he does the same. Ryder tags back in and they keep mugging Warbeard Ivar. Ivar shoves and swings but misses. Hawkins tags in and the Major Bros combine for a Russian Leg Sweep STO! Cover, ONE! Tag to Ryder and Hawkins dropkicks Ivar in a corner. Broski Boot from Ryder and cover, TWO! Tag to Hawkins and he runs in, to a seated senton! Ivar roars and drags Hawkins over to the corner. Tag to Erik and the Vikings give Hawkins a knee to a knee! Cover, ONE!

Erik keeps on Hawkins with an armlock but Hawkins fights out. Hawkins hits Ivar but Erik back suplexes. Hawkins lands out to tag in Ryder! Ryder rallies on the raiders! He gives knees to Erik and then a missile dropkick! Ryder runs in for a big forearm smash and then more forearms. Erik shoves him away, but Ryder dumps Ivar out. Hawkins clobbers Ivar with a clothesline! Only to get a knee from Erik! Ryder wrecks Erik and puts him in, but then the Rough Ryder is denied! Shotgun knees! Tag to Ivar, and they go after Ryder with Thor’s Hammer! Cover, The Viking Raiders win!

Winners: The Viking Raiders, by pinfall

Erik & Ivar just put down the Raw Tag Team Champions! Does that mean they’ll be competing for those titles sooner rather than later?

 

Raw presents a new episode of Firefly Fun House!

Bray Wyatt’s back, everybody! Now today is going to be a very special day. But, what’s going on with Mercy the Buzzard? Burp~! What’s he got there? Nothin’. C’mon, man, we’re all friends here. Back off, Bray, he said it was nothin’. What is he trying to hide? None yo’ damn business, Abby! Now go back to sleep, you old hag. Bray keeps the peace between the pals and wants to see what the fuss is about. He reaches in but Mercy snaps at him. Bray grabs… RAMBLING RABBIT?! Or what’s left of him… Mercy hated that rabbit. The rabbit was trying to force his world views on Mercy. Oh boy… It’s perfectly okay to express yourself. Whether it’s painting a painting, flying a kite, or ripping a rabbit to shreds. They can forgive him just like Bray was forgiven. In fact, Mercy should be rewarded! Does he mean…

Yes! Picnic time! And remember, Fireflies. He’ll always light the way, you just have to let him in. Bye~! See you next time~!

Uh…

 

Seth Rollins speaks.

“It doesn’t matter if that forearm was an accident or whether you did it on purpose”, AJ Styles made his point perfectly clear when he just walked away! But the next time Styles walks away from Rollins is with two black eyes and a broken face! The Architect has sent his ultimatum, but will the Phenomenal One heed the warning?

 

Drew McIntyre VS Roman Reigns!

The new Wild Card Rule allows this crossover of Raw VS SmackDown to happen, because of how “brilliant” Vince McMahon is. Either way, this unfinished business will be settled between Scottish Terminator and Big Dog one way or another! Will Roman roll on towards his MITB fight with Elias? Or will McIntyre prove he’s truly Raw’s new alpha male when he settles the score from Wrestlemania?

Raw returns with the bell and these two slowly circle. McIntyre kicks and clubs Roman down then bumps him off buckles. He puts Roman in a corner to chop and punch. McIntyre whips but Roman kicks him back. McIntyre throws Roman into a corner but Roman comes back with a clotheslines! Roman gets McIntyre in a corner to rain down punches! He gets to 8 but comes back with clotheslines! McIntyre stops those at 3 to ram Roman and then throw him overhead! McIntyre rains down rights, making sure Roman sees the last one. He stalks Roman then stomps him. McIntyre stands Roman up but Roman hits back with haymakers! McIntyre shoves and elbows Roman down. Cover, TWO!

McIntyre deadlift suplexes Roman! Cover, TWO! McIntyre keeps on Roman with an armlock and chinbar. Fans rally and Roman fights his way up, but McIntyre yanks him back down by his hair! McIntyre grinds Roman down with forearms in his face. Roman endures as Cincy rallies up for him. He powers his way up and punches, but McIntyre knees low. McIntyre runs but into a fireman’s carry! McIntyre fights out, but Roman follows to clothesline him down! Roman whips but McIntyre reverses, dodges then throws Roman overhead again! McIntyre follows Roman out of the ring to throw him into the post! McIntyre refreshes the count to fetch Roman and put him in the ring. He stomps Roman out then trash talks him.

The ref reprimands McIntyre for pulling Roman up by his hair. McIntyre suplexes but Roman blocks. Roman suplexes McIntyre back! Both men are down while Cincy builds back to a rally. Roman rolls while McIntyre sits up. McIntyre runs but misses, Roman clotheslines him out! Roman follows McIntyre and comes running around the corner, but McIntyre BOOTS Roman down! McIntyre lifts Roman with help from the apron, inverted Alabama Slam into the apron! The Big Dog is down while we go to break!

Raw returns Roman locks ‘n’ loads! McIntyre stands and Roman runs, but into a SPINEBUSTER! Smooth transition to a jackknife cover, TWO!! Roman survives and McIntyre grows frustrated. McIntyre aims from the corner now, and Romans lowly stands. McIntyre runs but misses, and gets uppercuts! He boots back but Roman throws hands. They brawl and McIntyre hits the Glasgow Kiss! Cover, TWO!! Roman survives again and McIntyre is seething. McIntyre looms over Roman as Roman slowly sits up. McIntyre drags Roman up in underhooks, but Roman spins out. Roman reels McIntyre in but McIntyre spins and gets Roman in a backslide, TWO! Roman DDT’s McIntyre! Cover, TWO!! Now Roman is the one shocked!

McIntyre bails out while gasping for air. Roman goes back out and comes around the corner, only to get another boot! McIntyre throws Roman into steel steps! The ring count is to 7 when McIntyre puts Roman in. McIntyre scoops and swings Roman for a side slam! Cover, TWO! McIntyre is beside himself that Roman survives again! Cincy cheers Roman on but McIntyre climbs up top. McIntyre aims at Roman as he stands, and leaps, into a SUPERMAN PUNCH! Cover, TWO!! McIntyre just gets a shoulder up, but Roman just fires himself back up. Roman goes to the corner and Cincy is thunderous as he lets out the battle cry! But McIntyre knees the spear away! Roman uppercuts but gets another headbutt! They both run, SPEAR!! Cover, but here comes Shane!

Winner: Roman Reigns, by disqualification

Shane AND Elias attack Roman! The SmackDown grudge carries over to Raw! But the Raw grudge is still present because here comes The Miz! Miz has as chair and chases Shane off! But Elias still has Roman, and brings him up for McIntyre. CLAYMORE!! The Drifter helps the Scottish Terminator stand tall, but will Roman make them both pay?

 

Shane is still running away!

He hides around a corner and Miz goes right past him. Shane smirks and breathes easy but Charly Caruso asks what’s going to happen at MITB in that steel cage. Shane slips away but the camera crew follows. Does Shane regret making things so personal with Miz now? Shane goes to his limousine, but Miz is there with the CHAIR SHOT! Miz SMACKS away but then Shane fights back. Shane keeps trying to run away but Miz won’t let him! Miz throws Shane against the limo windows so Shane kicks back, and low! Shane finally gets in the car and tells his driver to go. The limousine runs away, but Shane will have to face Miz’s wrath at MITB!

 

Raw looks back to #Kofimania.

“All I ever wanted was a chance, man.” “Kofi Kingston is nothing more than a B+ Player.” The battle of Bryan and Kofi was back and forth, and every time Bryan thought he’d put Kofi away, Kofi proved tougher than thought possible. And of course, the Trouble in Paradise finally makes Kofi THE WWE World Champion! Will Bryan get revenge for that Wrestlemania Moment? Or will Kofimania continue on towards MITB and Kevin Owens?

 

The Good Brothers VS The Revival!

Raw returns as these two teams sort out. Scott Dawson starts against Karl Anderson. Raw reviews the infamous #ShaveYourBack video footage, and The Usos appear! The #TopGuys are riled up but the Usos think the “hottest tag team” should try… “Ucey Hot”! Sweat activated antiperspirant. That means it should kick in about… Now? Now. Getting a little itchy there? Little hot under the collar? Or just hot under the undies. The Revival can’t stop, so the Usos offer water to wash them off. Dash & Dawson scoot and crawl like dogs with worms and even the Usos are surprised how effective that was. The Revival get the water to pour on themselves, but they were supposed to drink it. The water just makes it worse!

Now the Revival are running laps around the stage from that burning sensation. Guess they won’t be having that match with Anderson & Gallows after all. Will the Usos pay for their pranking ways?

No Contest

 

Kofi Kingston speaks.

“So Daniel Bryan doesn’t think that I am a champion?” But the thing is, these last 11 years, a lot of people thought that. Bryan won’t be the last one. Many thought Kofi as WWE Champion was impossible, but he showed the world the truth! The impossible IS possible! Bryan is going to correct the course of history? No! Kofi will do that when he retains the title and sends Bryan’s whining behind back where he came from! An dthen everyone will know why Kofi is THE WWE Champion, Babyyyyyy~!

 

No Way Jose VS Lars Sullivan!

The Fighting Fiesta and his conga line go around the ring, but the Leviathan isn’t in a partying mood! And it’s another SmackDown star on Raw! Will the party be over for good after Lars gets through with Jose?

Lars goes after the conga line first! He beats up the hot dog, the tie dye guy, and the green guy! Jose attacks Lars but is thrown into the crowd! Lars runs over the conga line guys again, then stands up the hot dog for a FREAK ACCIDENT onto the barriers! Lars is even more violent than usual as he takes the man in the cape and throws him into the post! The green guy in the kilt gets thrown into the ring! Lars stalks him to a corner, but Jose returns with haymakers! They do nothing to Lars, but Lars’ one hand clobbers Jose. Lars then shoves the green kilt guy out, before giving Jose the Leviathan Bomb! The Mile High Monster is seemingly unstoppable, who won’t he destroy?

No Contest

 

Raw celebrates Naomi’s joining the Boys & Girls Club Alumni Hall of Fame!

Naomi is the first woman from the WWE to join this wonderful group’s list of great members.

 

Vince tries to explain something.

The Wild Card Rule is not being violated because Elias and Shane don’t count. Only three are allowed, and anyone who violates that will be suspended or fired. Anyway, Vince is interrupted by Lars! He decides to bump the Wild Card Rules to four superstars. That’s all Lars needed to hear to spare Vince his wrath.

 

WWE Championship: Kofi Kingston VS Daniel Bryan!

Raw hasn’t had the world title defended here in three years, and it’s thanks to the Wild Card Rule that we’re getting it! Who wins this massive Wrestlemania rematch to then move on to Money in the Bank?

Introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we begin!

Kofi and Bryan tie right up and Bryan puts Kofi in a corner. Bryan gives Kofi “No Kicks” then runs corner to corner for a dropkick! And another! But Kofi clotheslines Bryan before the third! Kofi clotheslines Bryan out then builds speed to FLY! The Trust Fall wipes Bryan out! Kofimania is running wild in Cincy while we go to break!

Raw returns again, and Bryan throws EuroUppers on Kofi. Bryan then gives more No Kicks and wrenches Kofi into a headlock. Kofi powers out and things speed up. Kofi hurdles Bryan then elbows him down! Cover, TWO! Kofi drags Bryan up to snapmare and run for a Penalty Kick. Then Kofi rebound springboards for the splash! Cover, TWO! Kofi keeps his cool while bringing Bryan up. He wrenches Bryan to a corner to CHOP and uppercut him back. Kofi whips corner to corner but Bryan reverses. Bryan runs in for a monkey flip, but Kofi lands on his feet! Kofi runs back in but Bryan tosses him out! Bryan goes out to fetch Kofi and hammerlock the arm. He throws Kofi shoulder first into the post!

Bryan brings Kofi up again for another hammerlock, and throws him into the other post! Fans boo as Bryan puts Kofi in the ring. Bryan aims from the corner to kick the arm! Kofi writhes while Bryan soaks up the heat. Bryan drags Kofi up but Kofi fights back with the good arm. Cincy is on Kofi’s side as he fires off strikes! Kofi has Bryan in the corner and rains down rights. The ref backs Kofi off and Bryan boots Kofi back! Bryan whips Kofi corner to corner but gets a swing kick! Kofi springboards but into a butterfly suplex! Into an armbar! Kofi resists by locking hands, but Bryan shifts to the Lebelle Lock! Kofi fights out with a kick! Both men slowly stand and then speed things up, double crossbodies collide! They’re both down as we go to one last break!

Raw returns once more, and fans rally for Kofi as he and Bryan slowly stand. Kofi throws haymakers then whips, but Bryan reverses. Kofi kicks Bryan away then runs, but Bryan tosses him out hard! The referee checks on Kofi but he’s somehow okay to continue. Bryan fetches Kofi and whips him at barriers! Kofi slumps down while Bryan refreshes the count. Bryan drags Kofi up to whip him at steps. But Kofi climbs up quick and LEAPS onto Bryan! Kofi wipes Bryan out but also himself! Kofi gets up to put Bryan in the ring then climbs up again. Bryan stands and Kofi crossbodies to Bryan’s back! Cover, TWO! Kofi keeps his cool while he brings Bryan up again. Kofi whips Bryan but Bryan reverses, to reel Kofi in for another Lebell Lock!

Bryan pulls back hard while fans rally for Kofi! Kofi endures but he’s stuck in the middle of the ring! Bryan rakes the eyes and nose but Kofi rolls around. Kofi gets a ropebreak with his legs! Bryan lets go at 4 but he grins because the damage is done. Fans rally again but Bryan gives Kofi more No Kicks! Bryan targets that arm with each one, but Kofi wills himself to his feet. Kofi throws haymakers and kicks of his own! He backs Bryan to a corner but backs off to run in. Bryan dodges the splash and back suplexes, but Kofi lands on his feet. Kofi dodges and hits a leaping lariat! Kofi drops the Boom Drop!

Fans fire up as Kofi takes aim from a corner. “New! Day Rocks!” echoes out as Kofi runs and spins, but into a dropkick! German Suplex with a bridge! TWO, and Bryan can’t believe it! Bryan takes aim from the corner now, mocking the Yes Movement he killed. Bryan runs but misses, but then dodges Kofi! He goes after the arm again but Kofi fights the hold off. Tilt-o-whirl, into Trouble in Paradise!! Cover, Kofi wins!!

Winner: Kofi Kingston, by pinfall; still WWE Champion

And Kofimania still lives! Kofi hoists the title up over his head in celebration! But he still has Kevin Owens on the horizon, will the dream live on through Money in the Bank?

 


 

My Thoughts:

Well, this was a Raw. You could practically feel Vince’s desperation to make Raw exciting, only for it to fail about half the time. AJ Styles practically speaks for me when he asks Vince what the heck is going on, wondering what the point of the Superstar Shake-Up even was now. Vince even has to explain things to someone on the phone (I assume Stephanie or HHH) because things were being booked to not go the way the “Wild Card Rule” works. I would almost think Vince was being self-referential making himself look like a crazy person saying he’s brilliant yet losing control. It’s just all very odd.

Plus, Vince wasn’t really thinking outside the box tonight. Styles and Rollins paired together, against Lashley and Corbin, who seems to be Vince’s other favorite wrestler now, it takes some of the drama out of that story. I fear this is Corbin’s claim to a Universal Championship at Extreme Rules, as leaked local advertisements have spoiled. Ricochet puts his MITB spot on the line but obviously he doesn’t lose it, because what’s the point of announcing entrants before making people compete for them? Though honestly that would’ve been something actually shocking from tonight. Speaking of shocking, surely they aren’t writing Sami off so soon. Strowman lets him get compacted, but I imagine Sami, with lots of casts, limps out next week only to get destroyed again.

And then we just get squash matches and filler! Lucha House Party squashes local jobbers just because, and Lacey Evans squashes a local jobber just because there was no other woman to be squashed! With Sasha Banks dissatisfied, though perhaps justifiably, the four women in the MITB ladder match are the only other women on Raw. At best, this teases four possibilities for Lacey’s next feud after she loses to Becky. Becky’s attack on Lacey wasn’t even much, this was just so Becky could shut Lacey up now when it’s almost a given she’ll do it at MITB. Then we get two No Contests in a row. Lars’ makes sense, he gets to maul Jose and some random guys. But Usos pranking the Revival is even more juvenile than #ShaveYourBack. This is just Vince trying to bury the Revival for even suggesting leaving, which can be its own rant article!

Oddly enough, the truly good things involved the now SmackDown stars. Roman VS McIntyre was a great match, even if you factor in Shane and Elias disqualifying McIntyre. Shane’s guys stand tall but this is just so Roman can get payback on the way to MITB. Miz going after Shane was great, even if Shane runs away. I had been sensing crossover involving Shane’s two stories, so maybe the one good thing of Wild Card Rule is that Miz shows up tomorrow and helps Roman. That would be an interesting move because it would bring Miz and Roman full circle from that one Miz TV segment years ago. Then Kofi VS Bryan was a great rematch even though it was shorter. But obviously Kofi wins because titles don’t usually change on TV, and he still needs to face Kevin Owens.

My Score: 7.5/10


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