Starrcade is the Kevin Owens Show!
Or rather, the Kevin Owens Show is on Starrcade. And The Nature Boy, Ric Flair, is Kevin Owen’s special guest! What will the 16-time world champion and two-time Hall of Famer have to say tonight?
- The OC VS The Street Profits w/ Ric Flair; The Street Profits win.
- WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships Fatal 4 Way: The Kabuki Warriors VS Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross VS Sasha Banks & Bayley VS Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair; The Kabuki Warriors win and retain the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships.
- Last Man Standing: Rusev VS Bobby Lashley w/ Lana; Lashely wins, by forfeit.
- Bobby Lashley w/ Lana VS Kevin Owens; Lashley wins, by disqualification.
PLAY BY PLAY
It’s the Kevin Owens Show!
The Prizefighter is in Hotlanta and fans are fired up to see him. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Starrcade!” And to “the biggest Kevin Owens Show I’ve ever done.” That’s because the guest is, well, fans already know. The 16-time world champion, two-time hall of famer, the Nature Boy, RIC FLAIR! Fans “WOO~!” as Flair makes his way to the ring. Flair returns to Starrcade after almost two decades, and Kevin shakes his hand as they take their seats. “Ric, as you can see, I’ve arranged for these very expensive chairs for you.” Flair tells Kevin he is honored to be here, and is a huge fan of Kevin’s. He’s a huge fan of everyone in the WWE. Flair just wants everyone to know that 36 years ago, the original Starrcade, and seeing his daughter now be part of it, “This is the WWE.” Who cares about the New England Patriots? He is happy to see people here to see the show.
Thanksgiving for Flair, just as Roman Reigns said on Friday, they are thankful to the fans and family. Flair is fortunate to still be here, to see his daughter wrestle. Flair thanks the late, great Harley Race and Dusty Rhodes, the men who made this event possible. Then there’s the Icon, Sting. Guys who Flair wrestled at Starrcade. Flair wanted to be the best ever, but behind that curtain, there are 30 or so people who want to show that they’re the best. Kevin agrees, but those same people are inspired by the legacies of Flair and Starrcade. And speaking of legacies, that “WOO” sound, it’d be a disservice to not hear the true woo. Let’s all do it together. This is to thank Kevin for having Flair here, and to thank those who have since passed. “WOO~!” Okay now, everyone together. One, two- The OC interrupt!
Gallows and Anderson don’t say woo, they say “Whoa!” The Good Brothers hate to interrupt the nostalgia, but what is going on here? Talking about the past? They should be celebrating that #HotKarl and #BigLG are the “Best Mother Lovin’ Tag Team in the World!” Karl loves it when Luke talks like that. Well speaking of the past, how about the time these two had hair? Karl will let that slide. He has an idea: for the next 55 minutes, the Good Brothers in the truck should throw highlights or some Botch Club out. Kevin lets them in on something. The guys in the trucks think the OC are stupid. And Botch Club? That must b your last match. Or maybe AJ Styles losing the United States Championship to Rey Mysterio! What do they think about this?
Here come the Street Profits! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins stand up to the OC, and Kevin hands over the good mic. “How about we, uh… cook up some highlights here tonight in Atlanta, Georgia?” That is to say, with Kevin and the Nature Boy here, the Profits can handle the Good Brothers right now. Kevin likes the idea. He’ll get popcorn, the Profits can kick the OC’s ass!
The OC VS The Street Profits w/ Ric Flair!
The Best Tag Team in the World still have some business with Ford & Dawkins, but will Starrcade be #TooSweet? Or will Atlanta #GetTheSmoke?
The teams sort out and Ford is fired up to go against Karl Anderson. They tie up, Anderson wrenches to a wristlock, but Ford rolls, rolls and handsprings to wrench back! Atlanta cheers but Anderson knees low then throws an elbow. Anderson haymakers then whips corner to corner. Ford goes up and over to then cartwheel and handspring! Then he dropkicks Anderson down! Ford does his own stylin’ and profilin’! Ford headlocks and Dawkins tags in as Anderson powers out. Ford reverses and Dawkins runs Anderson over! Cover, ONE, but Dawkins keeps on Anderson with a headlock. Ford is fired up but Anderson powers out. Dawkins hurdles Anderson then whips to dropkick him down! Cover, TWO, but Dawkins keeps on Anderson. Tag to Ford, whip and a dropkick! Ford shows off with another handspring then covers, TWO!
Ford gets Anderson’s arm for an armlock, but Anderson fights his way up. Anderson powers Ford to the OC corner, then throws a cheap shot. Tag to Gallows and the OC mug Ford. Gallows bumps Ford off buckles, whips corner to corner, but Ford elbows back. Ford hops out but has to fight Anderson off, YAKUZA KICK! Gallows rocks Ford then throws up the Too Sweet to gloat. Ford slowly gets up but the ref keeps Gallows in. Anderson gets a cheap shot! Dawkins coaches Ford up as Ford flops back into the ring. Gallows is on him in the OC corner with big hands! Gallows soaks up the heat, then waits for Ford to get up. ROUNDHOUSE! Ford goes down and Gallows mocks the “WOO~!” Fans boo but Gallows brings Ford up for a headbutt. Tag to Anderson, the OC mug Ford more. Anderson stomps then snapmares Ford for a headlock. Ford endures the grind as fans rally up.
Ford fights up, Anderson holds on tight, and Ford is so close! Anderson kicks low then stomps Ford to the OC corner. Anderson mocks the “WOO~” now then rams his shoulder into Ford. Tag to Gallows and the OC continues to mug Ford. Gallows scoops Ford for a Fall Away Slam! Then he runs into the corner, big uppercut! Cover, TWO! Gallows rams his elbows in over and over then wraps on a chinlock. Ford flails as he endures but fans rally up again. Gallows puts as much weight on Ford as he can but fans rally harder. Ford fights up but Gallows knees low. Gallows whips, but Ford boots! Ford fights out of the OC corner but Gallows rocks him with an uppercut. Gallows back suplexes but Ford lands on his feet to enziguri! Both men are down and fans rally again!
Ford crawls but Gallows gets up. Hot tags to Anderson and Dawkins! Dawkins rallies on Anderson! The Curse of Greatness hits Gallows then uppercuts Anderson! Gallows gets in to get a dropkick! Anderson gets slammed down! Fans fire up as Dawkins goes corner to corner, cyclone splash! And then one for Anderson! Then back to Gallows! Anderson staggers into a bulldog! Dawkins clotheslines Gallows out but turns around into Anderson’s SPINE BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Anderson is furious but tags to Gallows. Gallows drags Dawkins up, neckbreaker back suplex combo! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives but Gallows tags back to Anderson. They drag Dawkins up, but Ford denies Magic Killer! Gallows uppercuts Ford but Ford tosses Gallows out. Then PESCADOS! Anderson runs at Gallows, SPINE BUSTER for him! Tag to Ford, who goes up top, WORLD STAR SPLASH! Cover, the Profits win!
Winners: The Street Profits, Ford by pinfall
The Nature Boy loves it! The Profits pin the Best Tag Team in the World, does that mean they should have that World Cup trophy now? Does this at least mean the Profits are on their way to gold?
Sasha Banks finds Bayley backstage.
What are they even doing in this “low rate town?” Obviously it’s because the WWE needs this duo to make the WWE Women’s Tag Division relevant again. Then they better put a few more zeros on the checks. First, they’ll do what they do, then get out of here. The inaugural tag team champions will prove why they run the whole damn show. Double champs, double the pay, double duty cuz they gonna slay. Sasha is dropping bars, but will the Kabuki Warriors be dropping those titles in Fatal 4 Way action?
WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships Fatal 4 Way: The Kabuki Warriors VS Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross VS Sasha Banks & Bayley VS Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair!
The Empress of Tomorrow and Pirate Princess are in for the biggest challenge of their reign! Bliss-Cross could become two-time champions, but so could the Boss & Smug Connection! For that matter, we could be seeing the resurrection of #BeckyTwoBelts, or the rise of #BayleyTwoBelts! Will there be history made on tonight’s Starrcade?
The Kabuki Warriors have new music! Will this new synthesis between Asuka and Kairi Sane inspire victory?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and only two women can be legal at any given moment. The teams sort out and it is Kairi Sane starting with crazy Nikki Cross!
Kairi and Cross circle but are wary of the other two teams. Kairi takes a page out of Asuka’s book by telling Nikki to kiss this. Kairi then laughs at Nikki but Nikki swats her away. And she gives back the “kiss this!” with interest! Bayley tags in off Kairi, and Kairi has no choice but to leave. Bayley ties up with Nikki and arm-drags her away, but Charlotte tags off of Nikki. Now the Queen is in and fans “WOO~!” Charlotte circles with familiar foe Bayley, but Asuka tags in off the SmackDown Women’s Champion. The Empress wants to go after Charlotte more, and they tie up. Asuka waistlocks, Charlotte headlocks back, but Asuka powers out. Charlotte runs Asuka over with a shoulder, and brushes herself off.
Charlotte runs, Asuka stays low but Charlotte somersaults over. Things speed up, the handstand gets a kick! Asuka brings Charlotte up but Charlotte throws Asuka by her hair! Charlotte BOOTS Kairi! Asuka kicks Charlotte but gets an elbow for it. Asuka dodges the boot, but not the CHOP! And another CHOP! The Flair Chops continue and fans “WOO~” with each one. Charlotte whips then scoops Asuka for a Fall Away Slam! And then kips up! Charlotte grabs a leg, Asuka kicks her away, and Sasha tags in off Charlotte. The Boss throws hands on Asuka, but fans are divided. Asuka fires off palm strikes but Sasha shoves, only for Asuka to dropkick her down! Asuka runs in but the hip attack misses! Cross tags in off Asuka before Sasha dropkicks Asuka down. Nikki runs up on Sasha to roll her up, TWO!
Nikki keeps on Sasha with an inside cradle, TWO! Nikki arm-drags Sasha then dropkicks her down. Tag to Alexa and the crazy best friends work together. Alexa whips Nikki in for a splash, then runs in to SLAP Sasha! Tag back to Nikki and Nikki bulldogs, only for Sasha to throw her off! Sasha drags Nikki over to tag Bayley. Boss & Smug stomp a mudhole into Nikki but fans rally up. Bayley clubs Nikki then whips, but Becky tags in before Nikki elbows Bayley away. The Man stands against Bad Bad Bayley, Raw Women’s Champion stands against SmackDown Women’s Champion! Bayley swings on Becky but Becky dodges to back kick and European Uppercut. Becky whips then arm-drags Bayley around. Becky keeps on the arm while flexing.
Bayley gets up and throws Becky down by her hair! Bayley whips, Becky reverses, but Sasha tags in. Becky is put on the apron but she still fights back! Becky kicks Sasha then Bayley then climbs up, but Sasha trips her up! Becky is down, Sasha covers, TWO! Sasha drags Becky up to stomp a mudhole into The Man. She stops at 4 to tag Bayley. Bayley haymakers then backs up to run in for a big knee! Tag to Sasha, who swings in for a meteora! Cover, but Charlotte breaks it! Horsewomen argue with Horsewomen but Sasha tags in Bayley. Boss & Smug mug Becky but fans rally up. Bayley BOOTS Charlotte, but Becky throws Bayley out! Bayley hurries back in to drag Becky away but Becky kicks Bayley. Tag to Bliss! The Goddess rallies on Bayley, SLAP and a right hand! Basement dropkick adds on!
Fans fire up as Bliss hits Insult, but Sasha denies the rest. Bliss sends Sasha out, Bayley waistlocks Bliss but Bliss standing switches. Kairi tags off Bayley just before Alexa O’Conner rolls her away, and Kairi BACK HANDS Bliss! Kairi wants a high five with Bayley, but then gives her a back hand, too! Kairi is feeling it as she goes after Bliss at the ropes. Fans rally and duel as Kairi pulls hair to pull Alexa against ropes. Kairi lets up at 4 to run and dropkick Alexa down. Then springboard stomps! Cover, TWO! Kairi keeps on Alexa with a Half Crab and sits deep. Alexa endures as fans rally up. Alexa reaches and gets the ropebreak, and Sasha tags in off Kairi. Alexa is free, but Sasha drags Alexa up for a snap suplex. Cover, TWO! Sasha is furious but she drags Alexa over to tag Bayley.
Boss & Smug crisscross Bliss to throw her into buckles! Cover, TWO! Alexa keeps everyone else’s chances alive but Bayley jams Alexa’s arm. Bayley decks Alexa and brings her around for a suplex. Alexa blocks, cradle counters, TWO! Bayley knees Alexa down! But Asuka tags in off Bayley! Asuka tells Bayley to get out but Bayley complains. The Kabuki Warriors double whip Alexa, then kick, ax kick and double slam! Asuka taunts The Man and the Queen then runs at Alexa, only to get knees! Alexa decks Kairi and drop toeholds Asuka! Alexa heads out but Kairi runs in to intercept, only to be shoved away. Asuka grabs Alexa while Kairi trips Charlotte! Alexa keeps crawling, Asuka brings her up, but Alexa ducks the clothesline and back hand for a DIVINE RIGHT!
Both women are down, Atlanta fires up! Asuka and Alexa crawl, hot tags to Kairi and Becky! The Straight Fire fires off on the Kabuki Warriors! Fans fire up as Becky blows up Boss & Smug! Then forearm smash to Kairi! Becky baits Asuka in, the hip attack goes into Kairi! Then she jump kicks Asuka and fires off strikes on Kairi! Becksploder! Fans fire up as Sasha runs in and gets a Becksploder! Bayley gets a Becksploder! Fans fire up more but Asuka scoops. Becky slips out, and also catches Kairi, double DDT combo! Becky goes to a corner, and drops The Man’s Leg! Cover, but Asuka kicks it apart! Asuka drags Kairi over and then tags in. The Kabuki Warriors drag Becky up, they double whip, but Becky holds ropes. Becky boots Kairi back and Nikki tags in! Asuka ROUNDHOUSES Becky down!
Nikki climbs up and aims, to DOUBLE CROSSBODY the Kabuki Warriors! Fans fire up with frantic Nikki Cross, THE PURGE hits Asuka! Cover, Sasha breaks it! Sasha blocks a kick to give Nikki a knee! Alexa gets in, backbreaker! Bayley is in, SAIDO! Becky is in, forearm smash! Asuka is up, German Suplex! Kairi is up top and aiming at Becky, InSANE Elbow! Asuka is back, but Charlotte SPEARS both Kabuki Warriors! Fans fire up but Nikki returns to hop onto Charlotte! Charlotte throws Nikki off but misses, hitting a buckle! Asuka swings a kick but Nikki gets under and rolls Asuka up, TWO! ASUKA LOCK! Nikki is caught, flailing, but taps!! The Kabuki Warriors win!!
Winners: The Kabuki Warriors, Asuka by submission; still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions
A fast and furious Fatal 4, but the Kabuki Warriors found a way to win! They hold onto their belts, denying all three opposing forces their part in history. But will one of those three teams return to try again 2v2?
Last Man Standing: Rusev VS Bobby Lashley w/ Lana!
The Bulgarian Brute couldn’t stand being kept out of the arena last Monday and went after the Rocky Mountain homewrecker! He was of course arrested for defying the restraining order, and also for tipping girders over onto Lashley, but it seems Lashley is okay to compete tonight. Will Lashley be anything but okay after Rusev gets to do whatever he wants within the legal limits of the law?
Before Rusev’s entrance, Lana takes to the mic. “Starrcade. I have some good news, and I have some bad news.” Fans already boo. The good news is that Lana is excited for this holiday season because of her “hot, hot boyfriend. Because he is the gift that keeps on giving.” Lana feels so grateful, #Blessed, that she has found someone that appreciates and values Lana, unlike future ex-husband Rusev. No one can appreciate Lana like Lashley can. Fans chant “Rusev Day!” and Lashley tells them to shut up. Lana does, too, but that only gets fans to chant louder.
Well then, here’s the bad news! There will be NO Last Man Standing match! Because that’s what happens when Rusev acts like a monster. Lana filed a new restraining order for the state of Georgia! Fans still chant for “Rusev Day!” but Lana says Rusev Day is CANCELLED! But the loving humans that these two are, Lana and Lashley will still accept a victory via forfeit. The referee is told to raise Lashley’s hand, and the bell rings.
Winner: Bobby Lashley, by forfeit
Lana just legally cheated Rusev out of a match! But here comes Kevin Owens! He is NOT going to let this happen. This is not how Starrcade ends. Kevin cannot allow this to happen. The show started off great with Kevin and Flair, so “we’re sure as Hell not going to end it with Lana and Bobby Lashley!” Why not? Because, Bobby, NO ONE CARES about your relationship!! Fans agree with that! Lana is upset, but Kevin is not going to shut up. Kevin is going to do the opposite and keep on #Talking!
Lana says he’s disrespectful. Ouch, oh, that hurts. Is Lashley going to ignore him then? Yes, Lana wants Lashley to ignore Kevin. Like how she’s been ignoring her Russian accent these last five years? Or like how everyone’s been ignoring their careers since they got together? Lashley gets upset, and dares Kevin to take the ass whooping Rusev was going to get! How about that!? Kevin thinks about it, and he will take it! The match is now the All Mighty VS the Prizefighter!
Bobby Lashley w/ Lana VS Kevin Owens!
The bell rings, Lashley runs into a SUPERKICK! And then another SUPERKICK! Lashley goes down into a corner, Kevin runs corner to corner to CANNONBALL! Fans fire up with Kevin as Lashley staggers up. Kevin kicks but Lashley gets away before a stunner. Fans boo as Lashley walks around the way. Kevin goes out to go after Lashley with haymakers. Kevin goes up to the apron and shouts, “This is MY show!” CANNONBALL again! Fans continue to be fired up as Kevin drags Lashley up. The ring count climbs, Kevin bumps Lashley off the announce desk then puts him in the ring. Lashley bails out to regroup with Lana but Kevin follows. Lashley trips Kevin on the apron! Kevin crashes ‘n’ burns and fans boo.
Lashley throws Kevin into the post! Lashley fires off haymakers then bounces Kevin off the announce desk now. Lashley refreshes the count to put Kevin back in. Fans rally up for Kevin but Lashley chokes Kevin on the ropes. Lashley clubs away but the ref backs him off. Lashley stomps Kevin, then rips off his shirt. Kevin CHOPS Lashley then throws haymakers. Lashley rams his shoulder into Kevin then runs in for a big tackle! Kevin falls down and Lashley catches his breath as he walks it off. The rib tape and shoulder tape prove he isn’t 100%. Fans boo as Lashley drags Kevin up for haymakers. Lashley chinlocks Kevin but fans taunt with “Rusev Day!” Kevin fights his way up and throws body shots into the bad ribs. Lashley knees low, whips, then clotheslines in the corner!
Lashley rams elbows into Kevin over and over, then brings Kevin out for a suplex. Kevin resists and fights back, to suplex Lashley! Both men are down and fans fire up. Lana is upset but fans are rallying for “Kevin Owens!” Kevin and Lashley stand and start throwing hands. Lashley gets Kevin with a Complete Shot! Cover, TWO! Lashley keeps on Kevin with an armlock, and turns it into a crossface. Kevin gets a ropebreak, but Lashley grabs that arm to throw it down. Lashley looms over Kevin as he stands up. Lashley knees Kevin into a corner but Kevin blocks the buckle bump! Kevin fights out and CHOPS away on Lashley! Kevin runs, but into the kitchen sink knee! Lashley stomps Kevin then drags him up as Lana gloats. Lashley tosses Kevin out then soaks up the heat.
Kevin is at the mercy of the ring count, but he gets up at 4. Lashley watches as Kevin uses steps to help him at 8, and gets in at 9! Lashley is on Kevin with big haymakers in a corner. Lashely whips Kevin corner to corner then runs in, but Kevin dodges! Lashley only gets buckles and Kevin heads up top! Lashley stops Kevin with haymakers then climbs up to join him again. Lashley throws haymakers but Kevin hits back with body shots. Kevin resists the superplex, hits more body shots, and headbutts Lashley down! Kevin adjusts, for the SWANTON! But he goes back up top, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Lashley lives and Kevin can’t believe it! But Lana is worried for Lashley as Kevin gets up again.
Kevin kicks but still no stunner. Lashley spins Kevin around, but Kevin gets out of the neckbreaker for a STUNNER! Lana gets in the ring to distract during the cover! Kevin would’ve won by now! Lana gets out just as Kevin gives up, but then he turns around into the Rocky Mountain Top SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives and Lana is furious! Lana says winning doesn’t matter now, only hurting Kevin does. She puts a chair in the ring! But here comes RUSEV!! Rusev attacks Lashley!!
Winner: Bobby Lashley, by disqualification
Rusev fires off and Atlanta is on his side! Rusev whips, Lashley reverses, but Rusev lariats Lashley down! The Ravishing Russian is furious but Rusev keeps on her “hot hot boyfriend!” Rusev throws Lashley into a post, into the announce desk, and then into railings! The fans chant “Rusev Day!” as Rusev goes after Lashley in front of them! Rusev bounces Lashley off railing, then brings him deeper into the stands. Rusev uses a trash can to SMASH Lashley! Fans high-five the unruly Rusev as he drags Lashley around. Lana shouts that Rusev is breaking the law, but Rusev doesn’t care about that. Lashley mule kicks Rusev to throw Rusev into steel steps! Lashley puts Rusev in the ring then brings out a kendo stick! Lashley stalks Rusev, and SMACKS him on the back! And again!
Lana laughs now, and mocks Rusev’s pain. Lashley aims again, but Rusev blocks the kendo attack! Rusev and Lashley struggle over the stick, and Lashley kicks low. Lashley runs, but Rusev uses the kendo stick to SMACK the bad ribs! And again! And again! Again! Rusev breaks the stick on his knee, and goes for the chair! Lana freaks out as Rusev holds the chair up high. Fans cheer as Rusev JAMS the chair into the ribs, and gives Lashley a strong steel SMACK on the back! Lashley is down after that chair shot, but Rusev isn’t done with him. Rusev tosses the chair to Lashley, to MACHKA KICK it into Lashley’s head!
Lashley bails out and Lana hurries to his side, but Rusev wants more of “Bob” as fans chant. The Bulgarian Badass just got retribution, but then runs before the cops come! Will Rusev continue to hit and run on the the homewreckers?
The third WWE Starrcade event and the first one aired live, this was a lot of fun. I figured the Kevin Owens Show would open, and it was great to hear Ric Flair basically just use his time to shoot and give genuine appreciation to the original Starrcade generation as well as the current WWE generation. I thought we were getting a match with Kevin to open, Flair in his corner, but instead it’d be the one team Kevin has said he wouldn’t betray! The Street Profits VS The OC give us a great opening tag match, and as commentary mentioned, this was a great reference to how the first match on the very first Starrcade was a tag team match. The Profits win because fans absolutely love them and this is mostly just for fun. But I could see Raw having Profits and OC settle things “for real,” and the winner goes against the Viking Raiders for the Raw Tag Team Championships at TLC.
That Fatal 4 Women’s Tag was incredible! Why wasn’t this just the title match at TLC? But it was great to have all four WWE Horsewomen in one match, along with Bliss-Cross having their first match back as a team. I figured it would be Kabuki Warriors retaining, but I was surprised it wasn’t green mist. The Kabuki Warriors get a clean win on their record, but this apparently doesn’t factor into story for Raw. We apparently get a 2v1 Handicap, The Kabuki Warriors VS Charlotte Flair. I’m thinking someone, either Natty or Becky, get involved and that gives us a TLC match of The Kabuki Warriors VS Charlotte & ???. If the titles are changing at TLC, I still feel it has to be because Paige gets involved as revenge for getting the green mist. If Paige doesn’t show up, Kabuki Warriors retain.
In the moment, the “cancelling” of the Last Man Standing match was a shame but it was still good story for Lana to do that. Kevin getting his match and with Lashley was a good move, and the match itself was pretty great. It was also awesome for Rusev to show up and just beat up Lashley and run him off. This surely has to feed into a TLC match, either the Last Man Standing they teased tonight, or one of the TLC-based No Disqualification stipulations that isn’t a Ladder Match. I wouldn’t want a Tables match for this but I feel like it’d be that one. But somewhere through the course of that match, something has to happen that breaks Lana and Lashley up. This can’t go on forever, nor should it.
My Score: 8.5/10