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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis: 1.21.2020

Impact’s first episode from their foray in Mexico! Thank God it’s not a highlight show!

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Impact’s first episode from their foray in Mexico! Thank God it’s not a highlight show!

Now we get the real first episode to deal with fall out from Hard to Kill.

Tessa is the new champion, Willie Mack has to make due alone, Sami lurks in the shadows and Elgin is not happy with his loss at the PPV.

Let’s all just be as excited and happy to be in Mexico as Suzie:

Ratings:

  • Taurus vs Moose vs Rhino: Taurus wins via Gore – ** 1/2
  • Joey Ryan vs Maximo: Joey wins via Sweet Tooth Music – **
  • Rosemary vs Havok w/Suzie & James Mitchell: Havok wins via Tombstone – *
  • Rohit Raju w/Shera & Gama Singh vs Willie Mack: Mack wins via Stunner – **
  • Tessa Blanchard & Trey vs Ace Austin & Taya Valkyrie: Ace wins via Springboard Fold – *** 1/4

Analysis:

Tessa opens the show with a humble promo that goes over fairly flat, then she tries to call out Sami Callihan, and you know – I love Tessa, but her first two promos/interviews as champion have been cringey. Her intensity doesn’t make sense or translate well, and pausing for crowd reactions when she’s trying to make a point, feels forced. Thankfully, Taya comes out to talk some smack, look all different kinds of adorable and fire up the crowd a little. She basically makes a challenge to Tessa, but Ace Austin comes out to make a pass at Tessa, Trey makes the save and that sets up for a mixed tag later.

Jimmy Jacobs interviews Willie Mack, Johnny Swinger offers himself as a replacement for Rich Swann, but this babyfaces Willie well. 

Madison and Kiera approach Taya because they had a deal. Taya tells them to face each other next week and she’ll give the winner a title shot. 

Taurus vs Moose vs Rhino –  Moose powders out and tries to get Taurus and Rhino to take each other out. It starts to work until Moose starts tripping Rhino and Taurus. At that point they make Moose get back in the ring, Moose tries to beg off, but then we get a nice moment of Rhino and Taurus taking turns that send Moose reeling. After the commercial, we get some decent teaming up between Rhino and Taurus, then Taurus goes for the pin, and the discord is sown. Moose tries to take advantage of moving the referee, but he can’t finish Rhino after the Low Blow. Taurus Ole’s Rhino’s Gore, so Rhino Gores Moose, Taurus headbutts Rhino to take advantage of the prone Moose and get the pinfall. Decent match between three power guys.

Jordynne Grace is backstage and says she wants in on Madison and Kiera’s match next week since she didn’t lose clean at Hard to Kill. 

Joey Ryan vs Maximo – Well I mean…if you’re gonna have a Joey Ryan match, might as well have it with an exotico who likes to kiss their opponent. Joey had a decent early back and forth, even hit a Suicide Dive at some point. Maximo is all flash and goofy affection, but people tend to forget he is sneaky athletic. Since it was a telegraphed comedy match, it was okay for what it was. Still not my cup of tea, but a few spots amused me well enough.

RVD has some thoughts on the Joey Ryan and Maximo match.

Rosemary vs Havok w/Suzie & James Mitchell – Long match that was visibly competitive but also visibly clunky. Rosemary tried to convince Suzie away from James Mitchell at different points and then she took a big move from Havok. This really just languished. We see the referee check on Rosemary or something that forces space with Havok, for no real reason aside from…it’s playing to the finish. Rosemary gets Havok in the corner, Mitchell tries to interfere but Rosemary mists him for his troubles and then she gets Tombstoned. Ugh…I remember a time when Rosemary matches used to be enjoyable. Pepridge Farms remembers as well.

Elgin and Eddie have a tiny altercation:

Rohit Raju w/Shera & Gama Singh vs Willie Mack – So for what this was, the match was fine. Rohit had a few moments where he tried to take advantage of a situation, but Rohit has been a fairly consistent joke in recent memory. Mack does a little Mackarena before his Standing Moonsault, but he puts Rohit away with a Stunner, and that’s when Shera attacks. True to his words, Johnny Swinger comes out to try and make the save. Swinger gets distracted with Gama, and Shera is able to hit a Sky High, and the Desi Hit Squad stands tall.

ImpactPlus Flashback Moment: Beer Money vs Motor City Machine Guns, TNA Tag Team Championship, Genesis 1/9/2011

Tessa Blanchard & Trey vs Ace Austin & Taya Valkyrie – So the match outcome is pretty obvious when you look at it from the perspective of 3 champions and 1 who isn’t. Tessa and Taya mostly interacted, but we did see both women mix it up with the X Division stars. Trey took most of the punishment in the ring while the heels either beat him up or played keep away with the tag. Tessa gets the hot tag, puts together some offense to give her team the momentum and tags Trey back in. Tessa dives out on Taya, which leaves Ace and Trey alone, Trey gets caught by a Springboard Fold and the heels win, to Tessa’s surprise. Pretty decent TV match, I also liked the little screen hack during Tessa’s entrance to get across that Sami was paying attention.

 

Overall Score: 6/10

Sami doing the hacking of the entrance and responding on Twitter to Bully Ray in Binary makes me wonder if he’s incorporating some of the Solomon Crowe aspects. As for the show, this was really setting things up for later…so it felt a little uneventful.

We get Willie Mack’s story building since he’s alone, and the numbers are working against him, Tessa now has Taya to deal with, while Sami lurks behind the scenes, Eddie Edwards and Michael Elgin will begin a best of 5 series and next week’s number 1 contender match for the Knockouts title were all established. So it’s nice to see a good portion of the roster in active storylines, but aside from amusing segments and a decent main event, there was nothing really special about tonight’s episode.

Average enough episode, nothing awful, nothing great, but stories did get advanced a little.


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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Hard to Kill Results & Match Ratings: 1.16.21

Three title matches, the return of Decay, Barbed Wire Massacre and a main event with Kenny Omega. Impact Wrestling’s Hard to Kill definitely sounds like it’s got a little bit of everything. Check out how it went!

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So the news that made many people cry a few days ago, was that Alex Shelley would be out of the main event. He went out of his way to film a response/promo/apology so fans knew it was something non-pandemic related, so that was an effort that wasn’t necessary, though appreciated.

Aside from losing it’s “Dream Match” luster, we get Moose as a replacement, which could really work for the cold calculated persona he’s taken on after his EC3 encounter. We also get to crown Knockouts Tag Team champions for the first time in seven and a half years. Let’s also not forget, this could end up being Taya’s swan song from Impact, so we should expect a good match but no Wera Loca victory.

Let’s see if we get any surprises!

Ratings:

  • Decay (Rosemary & Crazzy Steve) vs Tenille Dashwood & Kaleb: Steve wins via King Kill 33 @8:55 – * ½
  • Old School Rules Match: Violent by Design (Joe Doering, Eric Young & Deaner) vs Tommy Dreamer, Rhino & Cousin Jake: EY wins via Piledriver @9:55 – ** ½
  • Knockouts Tag Team Title Finals: Fire & Flava (Kiera Hogan & Tasha Steelz) vs Nevaeh & Havok: Kiera wins via Face the Music @8:40 – ***TITLE CHANGE!!
  • Ace Austin w/Madman Fulton vs Matt Cardona: Cardona wins via DQ @2:30 – N/A
  • X Division Championship: Manik (c) vs Rohit Raju vs Chris Bey: Manik retains via Ole Cradle @13:50 – *** ½
  • Knockouts Championship: Deonna Purrazzo (c) w/Kimber Lee & Susan vs Taya Valkyrie w/ Decay: Deonna retains via Venus de Milo @11:40 – *** ¼
  • Ethan Page vs The Karate Man: Karate Man WINS…Fatality – 200 Stars
  • Barbed Wire Massacre: Sami Callihan vs Eddie Edwards: Eddie wins via Diehard Flowsion @18:50 – *** ¾
  • Moose, Rich Swann &Chris Sabin vs Kenny Omega, Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows: Kenny Omega wins via One Winged Angel @20:30 – ****

 

Results:

During the last few moments of the Countdown, Madison Rayne officially retired from wrestling and from Impact Wrestling. Not sure how long she’ll stay a house wife, but good for her. She did great to actually prove to people she was a decent wrestler since her run during the WOH tournament, she was a fun commentator, so good for her.

Decay (Rosemary & Crazzy Steve) vs Tenille Dashwood & Kaleb

The weird thing about this match was the dynamic between who was involved and what went on.  Crazzy Steve showed a very high work rate in this match, with his strikes and moves looking fantastic. But Rosemary got exposed a bit on still being less than 100% with the knee and generally sloppy on a lot of spots.

Kaleb and Tenille definitely tried to add comedy and their quirky personalities, but the fact that we saw a lot of sloppiness, Steve working his ass off and just comedy spots or gimmick spots too often; this was a giant mess of a match. It also didn’t help that D’lo and Striker are still getting used to each other, so the announcing was distractingly bad.

It can only get better from here!

Old School Rules Match: Violent by Design (Joe Doering, Eric Young & Deaner) vs Tommy Dreamer, Rhino & Cousin Jake

This starts the same way every Tommy Dreamer match starts, with a brawl and weapon use.  This wasn’t a terrible match, but it’s really not anything worth going deeply in to. EY did the flair corner to top rope spot, which ended with Dreamer hitting him with a cookie sheet. We had a Tower spot in the corner, with Joe Powerbombing a Suplex, and it landed right into Dreamer’s face.

Doering got to look like a beast when the entire team took the chairs to him, and he still fought back, ending up in control. Dreamer introduced tacks, then we saw the Signature/Finisher spam which ends with EY breaking up the pinfall and hitting Cousin Jake with the Piledriver.

Again, decent enough, but nothing really special.

Knockouts Tag Team Title Finals: Fire & Flava (Kiera Hogan & Tasha Steelz) vs Nevaeh & Havok

Oh, Brian Hebner is back for this match. Slightly surprising.

Kiera and Tasha try to start fast, but the bigger women over power the smaller team and throw them around a little bit. Havok beats up on both of them, Neavaeh comes in to keep up the momentum, but eventually Tasha and Kiera start making a comeback. We see Fire and Flava go for a lot of quick spots, fast tags and trying to spin around the larger women, but they just get taken for a ride more often than not.

It’s not until Kiera hits a High Round Kick, followed by Tasha with the Springboard Neckbreaker actually takes Havok off her feet. Nevaeh tries to make a save and get things back on track, but Tasha picks her leg, Havok gets wiped out after a great Super Kick from Kiera, Tasha and Kiera use some tandem attacks on Nevaeh, then Tasha slows down Havok as Kiera hits Face the Music and we have new Knockouts Tag Team Champions!

Ace Austin comes out to declare himself into the X Division Triple Threat to make it a 4 way! D’Amore comes out, says he can have a match, just not the title match. Matt Cardona comes out.

Ace Austin w/Madman Fulton vs Matt Cardona

Ace tries to go at Cardona before the ring jacket is off, but Cardona absorbs some offense and then fires back a bit. Fulton gets in the way quite often during this match, so the finish is a little telegraphed. But right as Cardona starts building momentum; Fulton slides in to cause the DQ.

Decent enough way to protect Ace and give Cardona quick win.

X Division Championship: Manik (c) vs Rohit Raju vs Chris Bey

Rohit went after Manik to try and prove his point that it’s TJP. Bey seemed dead set on finding a way to win, and as we expected in an X Division match; there were a lot of spots, but they all made sense. Rohit does manage to take off the mask, but TJP painted his face under the mask, so it still throws off Rohit. TJP strings together a few moves, goes for the Mamba Splash, but gets caught by Bey with a Cutter. Bey then hits a Double Art of Finesse, but his brief moment of not knowing who to pin, caused the pinfall breakup.

Rohit almost won the title back after his call back to hitting his Tiger Knee after a Mamba Splash but Bey kicked out. Haymakers get thrown, Rohit hits the Dragon Stomp on Bey, and looks to finish things, but TJP slides in for the style of Cradle he’s used a bit lately, and retains his title after a fun, hard fought match.

Knockouts Championship: Deonna Purrazzo (c) w/Kimber Lee & Susan vs Taya Valkyrie w/ Decay

Early on all of the seconds get kicked out, with the beauty of the situation being that Susan pulls out her phone and says she’s filming the whole thing. So Susan, really may be a middle aged transformation of Su Yung. Susan might as well be named Karen.

As we focus on the actual match, Deonna starts slowly picking apart Taya. Going after her left arm, then her left knee and just trying to apply submission and weaken different limbs. Taya was able to push back and have her own submission attempt moment. Taya went for an STF, but the submission game isn’t her wheelhouse.

Deonna was able to pick her apart, counter a pinfall attempt and keep Taya grounded long enough to work in some holds. The normal Fujiwara didn’t get her submit, so Venus de Milo followed up and Taya verbally submitted.

Ethan Page vs The Karate Man

Since this is cinematic or at least green screen, I won’t rate this as a real match. But it was amazingly entertaining. Dragon Ball Z references, Karate Kid, and Mortal Kombat references, it was just amazing.

Barbed Wire Massacre: Sami Callihan vs Eddie Edwards

Interesting pacing to get across the familiarity, twisted respect and love for punishment between these two. We saw Barbed Wire Tables, Chairs, Baseball Bats, Kendo Sticks and even an…N64 Controller!

Sami took a ton of punishment, but the story was basically playing with Eddie’s emotions to bait him into bad dives, and openings for Sami to move out of the way, or sneak in a barbed wire shot. Eddie hit a Blue Thunder Bomb on a barbed wire chair, Sami hit an Avalanche Piledriver through a barbed wire table, but none of this was enough. If anything, the Piledriver just pissed Eddie off.

Going for the callback that started it all, Sami tries to hit a Barbed Wire Chair into Eddie’s face with a Barbed Wire Bat, but Eddie hits a low blow to get a moment. Sami tries to bring himself up with a chair, Eddie hits the Boston Knee Party, then the Diehard Flowsion for the win!

Eddie hasn’t hit that Flowsion in a long time. I did appreciate Sami paying homage to Cactus Jack and Striker acknowledging Jun Akiyama and Mitsuharu Misawa on commentary though.

Moose, Rich Swann &Chris Sabin vs Kenny Omega, Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows

The early onset is interesting. Karl Anderson and Chris Sabin start off and there’s some solid technical counter wrestling, and it’s fast paced action. Moose and Gallows come in to do a big boy showdown which worked fairly well, where Swann and Omega had a brief lockup before the Brothers come in to start heeling it up.

We get a lot of Japanese tag stylings, from the triple team that Team Impact pulls off, to the way the Club breaks up any type of momentum with their own train attacks into the corner. Moose looked amazing in this match. He went toe to toe with everyone, pulled off great moves like a Standing Moonsault, leaped to the top rope for a Spanish Fly and was a really good teammate, regardless of his issues with Rich Swann. Hell Swann and Moose even hit a Doomsday Device variant together. Small aside, I did like seeing Chris Sabin pull off Cradle Shock, which just doesn’t happen often enough anymore.

Omega almost has the match one on Rich, but the only one able to break it up was Moose, and he did so. Omega went into V-Trigger spamming mode to wipe out Moose, rock Rich and then a One Winged Angel won the match for the Bullet Club former members.

 

Overall Score: 6.75/10

Well this started off pretty bad, but at least it built upwards. The main even had a lot of fun wrinkles which increased the storytelling, psychology and overall enjoyment of the show. Hell even when Callis nearly jumped into the ring to break up a pin on Kenny was a good little nugget.

As I said in the weekly coverage, this is probably Taya’s final match, or at least one of the last, especially since they logically moved Rosemary back to Decay with Crazzy Steve. Eddie and Sami had a hell of blood feud and it was nearly cathartic. Let’s also not overlook the fact that Tasha and Kiera actually won the Knockouts Tag titles. I almost thought they wouldn’t win just because they are so charismatic and attractive without the titles, where Havok and Nevaeh don’t exactly have electric personalities. But I’m ecstatic that Kiera finally has a title in Impact!

With the pretty awful start for the wrestling and the commentary, which put the show behind the eight ball; but it did recover fairly well. Not nearly as good as Genesis, but it managed to keep the stories rolling and end on an interesting note. A pretty good show after all was said and done.

 


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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 1.12.21

The Go Home to Hard to Kill! After The Good Brothers made an appearance on Dynamite; do we see any new AEW talent invade Impact before the PPV?

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Coming off a Genesis event that ended with some nice matches and story wrinkles, we come into the Go Home for Hard to Kill! The Impact PPV that will feature Kenny Omega in the main event.

We will probably see something looking like a end to the feud between Eddie Edwards and Sami Callihan, Cody Deaner gets to work out more of his new persona and we might finally see Joe Doering murder someone! Deonna Purrazzo has her hardest challenge to date with Taya Valkyrie, which could be one of Taya’s last matches in Impact if contract questions are to be believed. Rohit Raju and Chris Bey will try to get one step closer to unmasking and unseating the current X Division champion Manik.

Let’s also not forget we get the finals for the Knockouts Tag Titles at Hard to Kill! Inactive for 7 1/2 years, we’ll get a new champion since ODB and Eric Young! Take a look at the redesigned titles, then lets get to the show!

Ratings:

  • Taya Valkyrie w/Rosemary vs Kimber Lee w/Deonna Purrazzo: Kimber wins via Double Leg Cradle – ** ¾
  • Rohit Raju & Chris Bey vs Manik & Suicide: Bey wins via Art of Finesse – *** ¼
  • Deaner w/Eric Young & Joe Doering vs Tommy Dreamer w/Rhino & Cousin Jake: Deaner wins via DQ – *
  • Tenille Dashwood w/Kaleb vs Rosemary: Rosemary wins via Spear – ***
  • Moose vs Matthew Palmer: Moose wins via Referee Stoppage – *
  • Rich Swann vs Karl Anderson: Rich wins via School Boy – *** ½

 

Results:

Taya Valkyrie w/Rosemary vs Kimber Lee w/Deonna Purrazzo

Kimber comes out with instructions and goes right after Taya. Kimber is one of the few Knockouts that Taya isn’t significantly taller or stronger than. Taya kept fighting from the back foot, but Kimber showed some really good aggression and the ability to keep the pressure believable.

Taya started turning things around after she got the knees up to counter a Swanton, but Deonna had a few tricks up her. Taya has Kimber seeing shadows, and Deonna puts her hand on the ropes. Rosemary tries to back Deonna back up the ramp, but before she can do any real damage we see…Susan?!

Susan has Deonna hold her glasses, and she cold cocks Rosemary and they start the beatdown. They hold Rosemary to watch the ring, Taya gets distracted with what’s going on outside, so Kimber grabs her, trips her up and sits down into a cradle.

If the cradle wasn’t a little awkward/sloppy then this would’ve rated higher. Honestly not terrible in-ring and story stuff.

God I hate these stupid paid ads. Tony Khan is not tolerable to listen to, not even from a smarmy heel perspective; he’s just an annoying human. Schiavone of course makes this palatable, but Khan is more cringe than uWu voice.

Rohit Raju & Chris Bey vs Manik & Suicide

The heels take it to TJPs two masked personas! Early on it takes the masked marvels a little bit of time to recover, but when they do we see a lot of signature poses and maneuvers. Pump kicks, lead to planchas and springboards and we just get a lot of good fun from Manik and Suicide while Bey and Rohit keep things grounded, aggressive and story driven.

Rohit is hell bent on taking off Manik’s mask and that does cost him at different points. Suicide goes for Suicide Solution, but Bey hits the Art of Finesse for the pinfall! Manik avoids the pinfall, but his opponents technically pick up momentum.

Deaner w/Eric Young & Joe Doering vs Tommy Dreamer w/Rhino & Cousin Jake

Well Cody Deaner went full WWE and done lost his first name! It’s not a name I would pick, but I guess Cody was already taken by someone else.

While not a bad match to add more interaction between the participants of the 6 man at Hard to Kill, it was really not anything to talk about. Rhino and Doering got caught interfering and thrown out, but then after a few moves Deaner and Jake have a moment. Jake tries to reason with him, Deaner smacks him so Jake takes him out.

Disqualification happens and we get a brawl eventually between all six when Rhino and Doering return.

Tenille Dashwood w/Kaleb vs Rosemary

Tenille applied her usual level of quirky humor to this match. She tried to offer friendship in the beginning, but got sucked in to a little bit of a rag doll from Rosemary. Which continued for a little bit until Kaleb got involved and Hairsprayed Rosemary early in the match.

That gave Tenille a near fall, but the match kept rolling along. Solid action mixed in with Kaleb’s own bumbling because he would’ve been more useful if he put his phone down. When it looks like Rosemary is about to win, Kaleb hits the apron, but Crazzy Steve appears behind him to even the odds. Kaleb manages to sneak the hairspray in to Tenille as Steve runs him off. Tenille is shaking the hairspray but Rosemary sees her, tilts her head and Tenille gets sheepish. Rosemary turns the hairspray on Tenille.

So hairspray plus a Spear equals Rosemary wins. We get a nice little tease to maybe an official Decay reunion. I guess only time will tell.

Moose vs Matthew Palmer

This was a match for Moose to prove his sadistic side and take advantage of a weaker challenger that got one over him last week. Palmer gets occasional flurries, but it’s not believable. Commentary bills him as out of his depth and he’s just an example.

Since the match was intended to make Moose seem vicious and just murder the poor enhancement talent, it did its job. But at no point was the finish in doubt.

Rich Swann vs Karl Anderson

The entire time Kenny’s been in the picture, they’ve put a lot of spotlight on some of Karl’s singles accolades in Japan. So it should come as no surprise that Karl actually came in with a plan and dominated for a good portion. Karl focused on the shoulder and it worked really well for him.

Rich was selling and getting caught by Shotgun kicks and a bunch of other moves, but at least proving to be resilient. Rich manages to catch Karl as Karl starts looking to finish things. A few nice strikes, the over the shoulder back kick and finally Swann’s got something. Karl does stabilize and look for the Gun Stun, but Rich ducks the Gun Stun with a School Boy Rollup and that’s the match!

After the match we get a dressing room brawl between all six heading towards Hard to Kill.

 

Overall Score: 6.25/10

So this was a mixed bag of either predictable matches or solid to good matches. But the segments between were filler video packages recapping stories, and the fact that we got an old TNA or current AEW finish to the episode of a brawl…just because, it’s a played out ending. With that, the episode felt like it was decent, but nothing really special, even though it was a Go Home. To be fair, Hard to Kill probably had all the needed hype off of the card itself, so I’m not sure what more they could’ve done, but something more clever than a dressing room attack to send us home would’ve been cool.

Again, this doesn’t really take away from Hard to Kill, an the announcement of Eddie Edwards vs Sami Callihan being a Barbwire Massacre match is…okay? I mean the last one Impact did was between oVe and LAX; and honestly, it wasn’t that great. I have a little more faith in Eddie and Sami, but death matches are usually all sizzle and no steak in the States. So it doesn’t add anything to Hard to Kill for me, but who knows, maybe it peaked some CZW fans attention somewhere.

Hard to Kill should be a good PPV and here’s to hoping that there’s no awkwardness because it’ll be live (they tend to have audio issues or something technical happens) and please no stupidity with AEW talent. If any more show up, I hope it’s logical and actually kind of cool.


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