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Impact Coverage

Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis 3/3/20

Impact Wrestling is bringing us a smidgen of history! Taya Valkyrie will be challenging Tessa Blanchard for the World Championship!

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Impact Wrestling is bringing us a smidgen of history! Taya Valkyrie will be challenging Tessa Blanchard for the World Championship!

Tessa being the face of the company, builds excitement to seeing how this match plays out. We also get to see if Su Yung will send Havok to the Undead Realm with James Mitchell.

So there’s something for everyone on this show. Speaking of something…here’s another ICU code to scan!

IMPACT Ratings:

  • The North (Josh Alexander & Ethan Page) vs Fallah Bahh & TJP: TJP wins via Bridging Sunset Flip Cradle – *** 1/4
  • Moose vs Petey Williams: Moose wins via No Jackhammer Needed – ** 1/4
  • Joey Ryan vs Acey Romero: Acey wins via Running Elbow – * 1/2
  • No DQ: Havok vs Su Yung: Su wins via Mandible Claw/Noose Choke – **
  • Swing Dancing (Johnny Swinger & Glenn Gilbertti) vs The Deaners (Cody and Cousin Jake): Cody wins via Deaner DDT – ** 1/4
  • Impact World Championship: Taya Valkyrie vs Tessa Blanchard (c): Tessa retains via Buzzsaw DDT – *** 1/2

 

IMPACT Analysis:

We’re told that Gail Kim will be controlling the Twitter page tonight. 

Impact

The North (Josh Alexander & Ethan Page) vs Fallah Bahh & TJP

After two singles losses, we get a tag match; to see if The North can stem the bleeding. They start off by keeping the pressure on TJP and keeping him away from Fallah. But Fallah got the crowd chanting ‘Kuya’ (which is like big bro in Tagalog); to try and rally TJP. TJP makes the tag and Fallah puts in some solid work.

Fallah fights off Alexander and they have a really solid back and forth. We see some great tandem moves from The North with a Tandem Iconoclasm and Tandem Crucifix Powerbomb. TJP fights out, and they start building momentum. TJP looks like they’re about to put away The North, but Page stops the top rope attempt. They try to take out Fallah, but TJP and Alexander are the legal men. So TJP jumps off the top rope, Sunset Flip style on Alexander; with a bridging flourish to pick up the surprise win!

Eddie Edwards makes his feelings clear, if he wins the best of 5 against Elgin next week:

Moose vs Petey Williams

Instigated last week by Moose discrediting all things TNA. Petey decides to try and take the pride of the TNA originals at Mr. Impact. The match wasn’t bad at all. Moose got cocky and paid for it at times, but Petey going to the Destroyer well at every chance; comes to bite him as per usual lately. A roll-up almost gives Petey the upset, but Moose hits his Spear for the win.

ImpactPlus Amazing Red vs Kid Kash, X Division Championship, April 3, 2003

Madison is in the back doing her Golden Challenge Gut Check…whatever. Kiera Hogan gets in her face, one of the hopefuls steps up to Kiera; so Madison may have a new pet.

Joey Ryan vs Acey Romero

So this match was more just watching Joey Ryan lose his motivation for his gimmick. He didn’t oil up, halfheartedly attempted Sweet Tooth Music, and stopped the YouPorn Plex. So Acey took advantage of the distracted Joey Ryan, and picked up the win. The match was plodding and awkward at points; but the wrinkle in the evolution of the Joey Ryan character could be fun.

Swinging…Disco…Balls? Disco and Swinger have a little segment with Willie Mack and serve as amusing comedy.

No DQ: Havok vs Su Yung

Not really sure what I expected here, but I suppose it delivered on expectations. A few cool spots, a neat usage of Su’s mist and plenty of screen captures for questionable intent. The finish being Su strangling Havok with a noose while also applying the Mandible Claw…yeah, you’re welcome fetish people.

Su tries to send Havok to the Undead Realm via the coffin, but she fights out. 

Swing Dancing (Johnny Swinger & Glenn Gilbertti) vs The Deaners (Cody and Cousin Jake)

Swing Dancing went with the old school roll of quarters, loaded punches; as they worked over Cody Deaner. Granted they seemed to have more fun passing the roll, than building towards a finish. So after Glenn misses the YMCA Elbow, things start to fall apart. Swinger has Cody held for the punch to the head, but Cody moves; Glenn clocks Swinger and then Cody wins with the Deaner DDT. Entertaining, but not like it was a mat classic.

Impact World Championship: Taya Valkyrie vs Tessa Blanchard (c)

Two women vying for the Impact World Championship is definitely a historical moment. The fact that they’ve had a rivalry for well over a year; adds to the match mattering for more than cultural reasons. When things make sense with wrestling logic and tap into something going on in society; it’s always an interesting moment.

As for the match, this was pretty good. Taya applied a lot of her personality and almost took the match lightly early on; since she thought she had Tessa’s number. Tessa started turning the tide with her intensity,quick strikes, and drop kicks; but Taya countered most momentum before any real damage happened. When we get to the finish, John E. tries to interfere on Taya’s behalf;malfunction at the junction happens, allowing Tessa the chance to slap on the Buzzsaw DDT.

Overall Score: 7.25/10 

IMPACT was a good show. Bookended with good matches, some nice story progression with The North, Joey Ryan, Su Yung and even Swing Dancing added things to the show. The main event also proved that the two women were in their spots for more than just checking a box; during a time when equality seems to be more of a gimmick than an actuality.

Next week we get the conclusion to the Elgin and Edwards best of 5; and thusly the next challenger for Tessa. Perhaps we’ll finally get a new dynamic to the ICU stuff as well. It’s most likely Sami Callihan, but the same thing for 4 or 5 weeks straight is getting a little stale.

Still this week was good and allows for anticipation towards next week!


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Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 8.4.2022

With Emergence as next week, we get to see where the chips finally start falling. We know the World Title match. Does anything else get shaken up?

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It’s IMPACT Thursday again folks! The Motor City Machine Guns are in tag team action! PCO is in the main event and we get to see if Masha continues her rampage!

I guess we also can’t overlook the announcement that went out earlier about Madison Rayne joining AEW, so does that mean she’s going to get written out of IMPACT in the next few weeks, or will she be working with both companies? Lots of interesting potential tonight!

Let’s start with Killer Kelly’s vignette about her debut first though:

Ratings:

  • Deonna Purrazzo vs Rosemary w/ Jessicka & Taya: Deonna wins via Double Leg Cradle – **
  • Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Black Taurus w/Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Dirty Roll-Up – ** 1/2
  • Gisele Shaw vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – **
  • Deaner & Joe Doering vs The Motor City Machine Guns: Sabin wins via Cradle – ***
  • Raj Singh vs Sami Callihan: Sami wins via Crossface Chickenwing – Squash
  • Derby City Street Fight: PCO vs Doc Gallows: PCO wins via Avalanche Thumbtack Fist Drop – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Deonna Purrazzo vs Rosemary w/ Jessicka & Taya

Rosemary starts with more of the bruiser style, even hitting a Corner Bulldog, before Deonna starts to slowly build her position. Deonna was applying most of her anticipated offense before Rosemary caught moments with her Upside Down and dual strike spot when Rosemary’s Shotgun Kick connected at the same time as Deonna’s Pump Kick. Deonna tries the Fujiwara, Rosemary rolls to counter, Deonna gets kicked out of the ring, bad mouths the stupid party and causes Jessicka to get angry. Rosemary hits the Spear for a visible pinfall, but Jessicka has the referee distracted. By the time the referee is disengaged, Deonna hits a Double Leg Cradle for the inadvertent cheap win.

Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Black Taurus w/Crazzy Steve

Myers has a few moments where he was on the early receiving end, but starts to turn it around and put the boots to Taurus. It’s not until a Back Roll into a few quick strikes, Dropkick and then the Tope con Hilo. Taurus is trying to reestablish himself as a mid card threat at least, but he’s been eating so many losses or in low impact angles, it’s hard to believe.

Commercial hits and Taurus loses any moment with Myers smacking him around and pulling off his Baseball Slide Trip. Backdrop gives Myers a near fall, but we’re not quite done yet here. Myers gets a little cocky, Drop Toe Hold in the corner has Myers eat the turnbuckle. Corner Tiger Feint, into a Missile Dropkick for 2. Quick Kick, into Edgecution from Myers gives him a two.

Roster Cut attempt, countered by the Spear from Black Taurus for 2. Black Taurus goes for PowerBull, Myers pokes the eyes through the mask, Roll-Up with the ropes and Myers retains.

Bhupinder comes out, throws Myers back in the ring, Steve and Taurus get in a few pot shots, Bhupinder hits the Gargoyle Spear and then pose over Myers. Not exactly a normal babyface position, but should get Bhupinder title shot soon. 

Gisele Shaw vs Masha Slamovich

Gisele tries to use the ropes like Toru Yano, then Masha gets her in a full mount ground and pound. Gisele tries to reverse an Irish Whip with a wrist clutch break and a Backfist, Masha ducks, lands her own Backfist. Gisele goes to the corner, leaps over and catches Masha with a Knee Strike for a near fall. The first near fall in Masha’s Impact career.

Strikes into a German Suplex Hold, but Gisele kicks out. Russian Death Device gives Masha another win, but the most competitive so far.

ImpactPlus Flashback Moments: 4/5/2016 – Gail Kim vs Jade vs Madison Rayne – Knockouts Championship Match

Deaner & Joe Doering vs The Motor City Machine Guns

Shelley and Deaner start, but before they lock up, Doering jumps Shelley and Deaner wipes out Sabin. VBD tries to keep Shelley in a corner, but Shelley works out with some quick action and Sabin climbs back up and strings a few moves together. Missile Dropkick/Flatliner for a near fall. Shelley gets knocked off the ropes by Doering, Deaner hits a TKO Jawbreaker into a Lariat for 2. Doering gets tagged in, Rebound Elbow, Shelley kicks out at 1.

After some normal focus on Shelley, Deaner gets tagged back in, the Shinsuke Style Corner Drape Knee Lift, Deaner goes for a Standing Headbutt, but misses. Sabin gets the hot tag, takes out Doering and starts lighting up Deaner. MCMG quick attacks, Guerrilla Warfare, into the Five Hole Dive to wipe out Doering. Deaner tries to sneak a win but Sabin is legal so the pinfall attempt on Shelley doesn’t matter, Sabin flies in with the rolling cradle to turn one pinfall into another. Sabin wins!

Kushida comes out for the save when Doering and Deaner do their usual post match beatdown, but Eric Young hits the ring to take out Kushida.

Raj Singh vs Sami Callihan

Sami doesn’t take this match seriously, which he shouldn’t. So Raj manages a little quick offense and a 1 count before Callihan baits him into a bad corner Splash and then rocks him with combination strikes. Cactus Driver ’97 into a Crossface Chickenwing, and Raj taps immediately.

Sami calls out Moose and Maclin, Moose’s music plays, but Maclin shows up on the ramp. Moose is in the ring, goes for the Lights Out Spear, but Sami dodges. Maclin hits the ring, they try for the numbers game but Sami fights them both off. Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down but Maclin hits the Low Blow. Lights Out from Moose, K.I.A. from Maclin, and Sami is left laying. 

Derby City Street Fight: PCO vs Doc Gallows

Gallows tries to take it outside of the ring fast and right at PCO, but PCO gets the momentum back and drives LG into the steps and the ramp. PCO sets up two chairs, throws Gallows into the ring to try and Suplex him back out, but as PCO climbs up, Gallows charges with the Big Boot and sends PCO through his chairs.

Commercial break allows LG to throw a few chairs into the ring, as PCO chucks a Wet Floor sign at Gallows’ head, then goes for a few Sabu style chair throws and dueling Chairshots. LG tries to put a pile of chairs legs first, but PCO stops him then sets up 6 chairs with Spines aligned, drapes Gallows on the chairs, goes to the top rope and LG tosses PCO into the spines of all the chairs. Very close near fall where PCO barely grabs the ropes and the referee allows it to break the count.

PCO Chokeslams Gallows through a table and then goes looking for toys. He passes a drum set, to cut the ring skirt and canvas, to expose the wood, most likely. Gallows empties a trash can as PCO hears it and runs over to pepper Gallows with multiple trash can shots, LG has Festus face as he crumples. Honestly PCO is taking soo damn long to expose the ring, its starting to make an already ridiculous match even more so. PCO does sent LG head first into the bass drum. PCO is looking to hit the  Deanimator on the exposed apron. LG gets up, goozles PCO and then Chokeslams him back into the ring and the ring caves in at the impact point of PCO.

10 Count starts, PCO comes back to life at 9, strike exchange. Reverse DDT from PCO on the partly expose mat. He loads up a glove with thumb tacks, hits an Avalanche First Drop with tacks. Gallows falls into the hole, PCO stands on him and the ref counts the pinfall.

This was ridiculous to the point of being a bit stupid…but it was entertaining and the crowd seemed to be into it.

 

Overall Score: 7.25/10

There was a decent amount of storyline movement, decent matches with an assortment of gimmicks and characters you don’t see weekly; as well as fan favorites. PCO is beloved by most of the hard core crowd, Motor City Machine Guns are always a high point and Myers getting his comeuppance got a decent pop. We also got to see a little chink in the armor of Masha Slamovich with Gisele putting up a little more of a fight, as well as Killer Kelly giving us a little more into her persona. Is she a little schizophrenic with the repeating her lines in Portuguese? How scary is she? Will she dethrone Masha as the monster of the Knockouts?

Also even if the set up seemed coordinated, the way Moose and Maclin interact; doesn’t really scream working together. They could have a common enemy and conveniently work out for the other. Either way, there’s enough threads to get us through to Emergence and maybe even sustain into Bound For Glory. Josh Alexander got a lot of weird things being said to, and said by him.


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Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 7.28.2022

Kushida makes his Impact debut (2015 was a GFW Amped taping, don’t act like it counts)!

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The Guns show last week ended about as well as any long standing TNA fan could ask for. Alex Shelley finally gets the overdue rub for a World title shot. It also turned out to be a good way to have Kushida make his IMPACT debut with the save. 

Tonight should be good since we’ve only got a few more weeks until Emergence, we know the main event; but there are so many potential variables, the rest of the card could go in many directions. Also does Gisele Shaw get murdered by Masha tonight, or does she find a way out of the death note? 

Ratings:

  • Eddie Edwards w/Honor No More vs Ace Austin w/Chris Bey: Eddie wins via Die Hard Driver – *** ¾ 
  • Laredo Kid & Trey Miguel vs Johnny Swinger & Zicky Dice: Laredo wins via Frog Splash – *
  • Showcase Match: Tiffany Nieves vs Jada Stone: Nieves wins via Dirty Stack Cradle – *
  • Shera w/Raj Singh vs Josh Alexander: Josh wins via Ankle Lock – * ½ 
  • Rich Swann vs Kushida: Kushida wins via Avalanche Hoverboard Lock – ****

 

Results:

Eddie Edwards w/Honor No More vs Ace Austin w/Chris Bey

Ace plays to the crowd and Eddie attacks him quickly to try and make an example of Ace. But Ace fights back using his agility and unique offense, turning a counter into a La Magistral attempt that Eddie kicks out of quickly. Ace starts toying with Eddie, even pulling out the playing card between the fingers as we remember two things: 1. This is heel versus heel – 2. Ace tried to bang Eddie’s wife a few years ago. 

Counter wrestling gives Eddie a decent length control spot before Ace starts rolling (literally) and going for a few quick strikes and a crisp Dropkick to change up the pace. Ace Spiderman’s and then Eddie misses him between the ropes, Fosbury Flop from Ace for a pretty solid crowd pop. Slides back in Eddie, Triangle Guillotine Leg Drop for a near fall. Ace charges the corner, misses, Gamengiri from Eddie, Backpack Stunner gives Eddie the near fall. Ace is playing the babyface role more clearly after the initial heel tactics, but that’s to be expected. Boston Knee Party misses, head capture Mushroom Stomp, Kenny hops on the apron to distract Ace, Bey tries to neutralize Kenny, the ref ejects them both but not before each man makes their presence more felt.

Spinning Heel Kick from Ace, charge for The Fold and Eddie hits the release Overhead Belly to Belly into the corner as we go to commercial. Coming back, Eddie is lighting up Ace with wrist control chops and a short arm lariat. Three consecutive pinfall attempts from Eddie to try and wear down Ace, as Ace keeps fighting back. A few quick Forearms from Ace, attempted Triangle Kick misses and Eddie hits a Gowan Lariat. Boston Knee Party miss again, Triangle Kick lands for a 2 count. Ace calls for The Fold, Eddie grans the ref so Ace gets frustrated, tries something, Eddie counters out, Ganso Bomb, into TIger Driver into Die Hard Driver for the win!

Laredo Kid & Trey Miguel vs Johnny Swinger & Zicky Dice

So it’s nice to see that Laredo Kid has fallen into irrelevance so far that he’s in a gimmick comedy match. At least Laredo will finally get a win. 

Trey and Zicky start, Zicky actually rolls through some of the offense Lucha style and does a little bit of the Eddie Guerrero shoulder shake. Rehwoldt gets a little perturbed and then Swinger and ZIcky put on gimp masks and think they have twin magic going on. Demolition they ain’t…but it’s a little amusing. Swinger tries to switch places but Trey knows and Zicky does get an attack of opportunity. 

I do appreciate the safe word, Pulp Fiction and fun references that commentary is making to try and fill in for a match that is obviously not competitive. It was a little amusing, but honestly went too long for a match that had literally zero suspense. 

Showcase Match: Tiffany Nieves vs Jada Stone

Tasha Steelz comes out to commentary, and Stone comes out looking like she took inspiration from Harlem Heat’s attire, but she’s also playing the happy babyface. 

Nieves is the pompous one trying to take over quickly and not letting Stone even enjoy the moment just yet. Nieves is working her over, pulling hair and stomping. Jada does a little Matrix counter, Cartwheel Kick, Headscissors, Split Legged Moonsault takes too long and wipes out. Russian Leg Sweep, stack cradle and Nieves grabs the rope for the dirty pinfall victory. 

Killer Kelly’s music hits and she saunters down to the ring. She smiles at Nieves as Nieves gets in her face, a shove, then Kelly hits the Pump Kick into a  Key Lock Sleeper, dispensing with Nieves; then Kelly hits the John Woo on Stone and the Double Underhook Facebuster lays out Stone. Kelly leaves her mark. 

Shera w/Raj Singh vs Josh Alexander

A quick shoving match leads Shera to try and intimidate Josh but Josh turns it around and won’t be intimidated. After an across the ring hip toss, Josh grabs the ropes, kicks Shera and then tries to Lariat him over the ropes. It takes three running lariats, but he finally gets Shera over. Josh works him over on the outside, they come back in, Shera tries to regain some ground, Josh fights him off, grabs the ankle and makes the lion tap with the correct amount of ease.

Raj is still in the ring complaining about how Josh took things too far and should’ve been disqualified. Lights go out, Sami stuffs Raj into the mat and then addresses the Maclin & Moose situation. 

Ric Flair Moment of the Week: Impact 6/17/2010 Jay Lethal “WOO” Off

Rich Swann vs Kushida

Swann admitted last week that he feels he’s gotten his groove back after a great 2021 but then falling off a bit after losing the World title to Kenny Omega. This will be a good test for both men.

Kushida got most of the crowd support, Swann even tried to see if the support would volley, but Kushida has the obvious fan excitement. Starting with some quick mat wrestling, Kushida almost gets a position, but Rich spins out of it. Lots of mat and chain wrestling that is just going back and forth but nothing impactful yet.

Float overs, leg trips, bat aways, dueling Dropkick Spot, and both take time to stare at each other. The mirror match has been going on these first few minutes and then Kushida goes for his Inoki influence kicking at the legs, doing the full guard and then jumping on Swann and forcing the test of strength. Kushida eats a little from Rich and then two big Liger influenced SHOTEIS sends RIch to powder, and then a little more Liger reference with the pose and quick feet in the middle. 

Commercial break brings us back to Kushida tying up Rich and a little bit of a modified layout Rings of Saturn before Rich hits a Twisting Dropkick to try and shake out some of the pain. Open hand strike exchange until Rich hits the Sole Butt sending Kushida retreating into the corner. A few big Bicycle Kicks send Kushida to powder, Kushida tries to fight back, Rich gets him against the post and then Rich misses with a chop. Kushida slowly starts trying to find a way back into the match after Rich missed the chop. But not before Rich manages to get in 10 Count Punches and then a little hesitation Bitch Slap. Dueling Crossbody sends both men spilling to the mat. But it does finally give Kushida a chance for continuous offense. 

Big kicks, rope run lariat, Pele Kick, Running Shotei, Bulldog Shoulder Breaker into a Cross Armbreaker which as Rich tries to roll, Kushida turns it into a Russian Armbar before Rich can get to the ropes. Hammerlock Neck Crank, into a Dropkick right to the wrist, a few traded shots and a Sliding Kick to the Left Arm of Rich gives another small breather for both men. Swann with the combination kicks out of the corner, Neckbreaker, Stepover Back Kick for 2. 

Rich goes to the middle rope, Phoenix, MISS! Soccer Ball Kick to the left arm, Cartwheel Dropkick, Hoverboard – blocked by Rich into a Belly to Back Suplex. Kicks, Rich plucks Kushida off the top rope with a Headscissor. Kushida rocks Rich with the Back Handspring Kick, climbs up with him… Avalanche Hoverboard Lock and Kushida wins! 

Overall Score: 6.75/10

Two great matches to bookend the show, but some definite weirdness in between. A gimmick tag match just to keep Swinger and Zicky’s Dungeon storyline active, but fairly useless for the other two guys. A random local talent match that was used to debut the beautiful and vicious Killer Kelly. So I’m happy to see Kelly, but the segment was a little meh. And Josh having a warm up match with a mid carder who always gets attempted to be billed as a monster for like 3 minutes and then ends up jobbing into obscurity. 

I did appreciate getting to see more of the Jessicka character. The C and K cause she’s SIICK line was pretty great. A bunch of people including Johnny Gargano putting over Alex Shelley for finally getting an overdue World Title shot was nice. Honor No More getting hunted by Heath while trying to devise their own way to get what they want really has a screw job written all over it. Now I don’t feel like Honor No More has overstayed their usefulness, I just feel like they didn’t get the chance to capitalize on any early heat. Plus somehow, Impact has made me like Taven. So if they disband and he leaves for AEW or something, I’m never gonna watch him again cause I’d rather get a ghost pepper hot sauce enema than watch AEW. 

But either way, the show opened and closed great, had weird in-ring action in the middle, but solid segments for other stories. A well rounded show all things considered.


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