Connect with us


Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News! (9/15/20)

Ganondorf and Zelda speak on the inevitable!



Hyrule Puro-Resu Triforce Title News

HPW Media meets with both Triforce Champion and challenger!

Before Ganondorf and Zelda face each other 1v1 for the HPW world title, we hear their thoughts on the historic co-ed showdown!


HPW Media sits with Zelda in her home.

The Princess of Hyrule knows it comes as a surprise that she doesn’t live in Hyrule Castle anymore, but how else was she supposed to “move out of my family’s shadow?” That actually brings interviewer Seres to one of the questions planned for this interview.

What is it like being part of a long legacy not just in wrestling but in all of Hyrule?

Zelda takes a deep breath and exhales with a sigh. “Obviously, it affects how other people might see me. People, whether to my face or behind my back, will say something along the lines of, ‘Zelda only has what she has because of her family name.'” People think Zelda has it easy being a member of the Hyrule family. They think things are handed to her. They think Zelda gets her way, so they purposefully get in her way. “But that’s just it: that’s what they think. The reality is, things are not easier for me, because people treat me differently, all because of my name.” Zelda doesn’t hold a thing against her family, she does not wish her father wasn’t her father. But she knew she’d need to be someone else to get fair treatment.

So is that another reason why Zelda created the Sheik persona?

“Oh, definitely, yeah.” As Zelda trained with Impa, she asked Impa for special permission to adopt the Sheikah culture, using it as a way to represent herself. As Zelda told us months ago, after being revealed as the person behind Sheik, she still used Sheik as a way to compete on equal footing with the male wrestlers in the Triforce Tournament and Triple Threat finals. But she also wanted to at least step out from behind the Hyrule name, and have it so that fans, management and other wrestlers would have no preconceptions about her. “But now the secret’s out and some people think worse of me, just for wanting fair treatment.” Zelda asks us how we would feel if we were judged before anyone got to know us. “Oh wait, that always happens, to everyone. It’s quite the conundrum, isn’t it?”

How does it feel to be Ms. Eventide and #1 Contender?

“It’s not bad. It doesn’t feel too different than when I won the Bracket of Wisdom.” Zelda is training as hard as she ever has because she’s going to give it her best effort. “Ganondorf needed a table to stop me last time. He won’t be able to do that this time.” Zelda is ready, but what about the Gerudo Ace?


HPW Media arrives at Gandondorf Dragmire’s home.

The Triforce Champion lives in a rather lavish yet also somewhat frightening mansion, but it’s hard to tell if there’s anyone inside. Reporter Impa meekly presses the doorbell button. After a few moments, the door opens and Ganondorf is there, squinting his eyes as he looks outside. He glares at the cameraman and shouts, “You dare bring light into my lair?! For that, you must DIE! … I’m just kidding, guys! Come on in!” Paya breathes again and follows Ganondorf, camera following her.

Ganondorf apologizes for “the mess” as they walk through the foyer and down a hall. They enter a rather large dining room, and explains he and some friends were partying after getting back from the event in Gerudo Canyon. He simply brushes the plastic cups off the long table, and tells the party guest still under the table to finally leave. Ganondorf sits at the head of the table with Paya taking a seat to his right. Paya thanks him for having them and being open to an interview, to which he says, “You’re welcome.” She hesitantly starts with her questions as Ganondorf sits with the Triforce Championship belt on his shoulder.

What was it like to win the Triforce Championship?

“It was bloody fantastic!” They got to go to an island, it was so nice, and obviously they partied hard after. “The party after Treasure Island was insane! It makes the one we just had look like a Sunday brunch!” That’s nice, but what about the actual match? “Oh, of course, the match! That was incredible stuff, too.” Ganondorf proved Link was not good enough 1v1, was not a good enough first champion, and after having seen what we saw almost a month ago, “isn’t even much of a man! He couldn’t tell his own grandmother about losing, he was so broken!” Ganondorf laughs at that but he’s the only one.

What does Ganondorf think of his next challenger, Zelda?

“The Princess of Hyrule. The inaugural Miss Eventide. Student of Impa and Sheikah Strong Style. Impressive resume, obviously.” She survived being Ganon Bombed through the table all the way back in April, he has to give her a nod of respect for that alone. “But I proved Link wasn’t good enough one on one, so I’m going to do the same dman thing with her.” Whenever it is that HPW holds the next event, wherever that event might be, the Triforce Championship will be the main event, it will be highly anticipated, and yet it will end the same way: the Gerudo Ace being announced the winner. “But instead of being announced as ‘And new,’ it will be as ‘And still.'” Will his assessment become reality after Power and Wisdom collide?

My Thoughts:

Were these good? I’m probably making Ganondorf too arrogant and cocky but this is HPW Ganondorf, not the other Ganons of the Zelda universe. I was mostly inspired to right this by wanting Ganondorf to use the line from the infamous Philips CD-i Zelda to open. And I already have the October event where this HPW Triforce Championship match will happen in mind, just waiting to set up the announcement article.

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Buy A Chairshot T-Shirt!

Chairshot Radio Network