Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (3/16/21)
Dark Classic keeps going strong!
It’s the AEW Dark Before St. Patrick’s Day!
Dark: Elevation was strong, but the original AEW Dark won’t be outdone! FIFTEEN matches will pave the way into Dynamite’s St. Patrick’s Day Slam!
- Luchasaurus VS Cesar Bononi w/ Peter Avalon; Luchasaurus wins.
- Leyla Hirsch VS Savannah Evans; Hirsch wins.
- John Silver w/ the Dark Order VS John Skyler; Silver wins.
- Penelope Ford w/ Kip Sabian VS Tesha Price; Ford wins.
- Chaos Project VS Fuego del Sol & Jake St. Patrick; Chaos Project win(s).
- Jazmin Allure VS KiLynn King; King wins.
- 8 Man Tag: The Dark Order VS Angel Fashion, Baron Black, Ryzin & Vary Morales; The Dark Order win(s).
- Six Man Tag: The Gunn Club VS David Ali, Seth Gargis & Adam Priest; The Gunn Club wins.
- Bear Country VS Dean Alexander & Brick Aldridge; Bear Country wins.
- Nick Comoroto w/ QT Marshall VS D3; Comoroto wins
- The Varsity Blondes VS Jorel Nelson & Royce Isaacs; The Varsity Blondes win.
- VertVixen VS Madi Wrenkowski; Madi wins.
- Tag Career on the Line: SoCal Uncensored VS Aaron Solow & Carlie Bravo; SCU wins and stays a tag team.
- Sonny Kiss & Joey Janela VS Brian Cage & Ricky Starks w/ Team Taz; Cage & Starks win.
- Jack Evans VS Preston Vance w/ The Dark Order; Vance wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Luchasaurus w/ Marko Stunt VS Cesar Bononi w/ Peter Avalon!
On Dark: Elevation’s premiere, Marko Stunt was jumped by the Brazilian V8 Engine, “Pretty” Peter and their Hollywood Hunk, Ryan Nemeth! So now, to avenge Fun Size, Luchasaurus will battle Bononi 1v1! Who wins this huge opener to this huge Dark after Elevation?
The bell rings and Luchasaurus grapples with Bononi. Luchasaurus has Bononi in a corner, lets off, but they tie up again. They break, start shoving, and Bononi rams Luchasaurus. Luchasaurus doesn’t fall, but he runs to ram Bononi. Bononi stays up, runs, things speed up as Luchasaurus hurdles! Luchasaurus BOOTS Bononi, Bononi rebounds but now it’s a stand-off. Fans rally up as Bononi goes again, Luchasaurus hurdles, and kicks Bononi to a corner now! Avalon coaches Bononi but Luchasaurus runs in to clothesline! Luchasaurus throws haymakers and CHOPS! Avalon is upset, the ref reprimands Luchasaurus but Bononi rakes eyes!
Bononi throws hands and elbows in a corner, lets off and whips Luchasaurus corner to corner. Luchasaurus comes back to CLOBBER Bononi! Luchasaurus aims at Bononi but Avalon takes a swipe! Bononi runs in, Luchasaurus dodges then comes back but Bononi puts him on the apron. Luchasaurus ROCKS Bononi, but Bononi plays it up to distract the ref so Avalon can grab Luchasaurus! Luchasaurus kicks Avalon away but Bononi dropkicks Luchasaurus down! Bononi goes out, gets Luchasaurus up and RAMS him into railing! The ref starts a ring count, Bononi RAMS Luchasaurus into the apron! Avalon talks trash while Bononi goes into the ring.
The ring count is 8 but Luchasaurus slides in at 9! Bononi stomps Luchasaurus out, distracts the ref, and Avalon fires off on Luchasaurus! Luchasaurus grabs Avalon and Avalon begs for mercy but Bononi flies in to club Luchasaurus! Bononi brings Luchasaurus up for an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Bononi goes in, fires up and brags about his muscles, and he runs in to LARIAT Luchasaurus! Cover, TWO! Luchasaurus lives but Bononi throws in knees to Luchasaurus’ back! Bononi stomps Luchasaurus down, talks trash and drags him up, for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Fans cheer and rally for Luchasaurus but Bononi pushes him.
Bononi gives toying kicks but Luchasaurus gets up in a huff. Luchasaurus blocks the haymaker to KNEE, boot and HEADBUTT! Bononi staggers to a corner, Luchasaurus fires off fast hands! GERMAN SUPLEX! Luchasaurus kips up and spins to BUZZSAW! Avalon gets on the apron to shout at Luchasaurus, but Luchasaurus drags him in! Avalon gets away, Bononi runs and BOOTS Luchasaurus down! Cover, TWO!! Avalon and Bononi are shocked and furious! Bononi scoops Luchasaurus, but Luchasaurus slips off to shove Bononi into Avalon! Fireman’s carry, EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT! Cover, TWO!?! Bononi survives Extinction and Luchasaurus can’t believe it!
Luchasaurus drags Bononi up in a choke grip but Bononi breaks free to throw forearms! Luchasaurus hits back and it is a brawl of behemoths! Bononi forearms, knees and elbows, then pumps up again, only for Luchasaurus to handspring under and TAIL WHIP! Choke grip, CHOKE SLAM! STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, Luchasaurus wins!
Winner: Luchasaurus, by pinfall
Bononi put up a fight but Luchasaurus was still too much for him! Will this help Jurassic Express barrel through Matt Hardy’s growing stable on St. Patrick’s Day?
Leyla Hirsch VS Savannah Evans!
The #LEGIT is also #AllElite, and ready to prove she is worthy of that contract! Will Hirsch put the hurt on #TheCannibal and climb up the rankings?
The bell rings and Evans gets in Leyla’s face, then pie faces her! Leyla gets around to waistlock and GERMAN SUPLEX! Evans staggers up and is angrily surprised Leyla pulled that off! Leyla runs in to throw forearms over and over but Evans shoves her away. Leyla comes back with more, but Evans shoves again. Evans stays up in the drop toehold, drags Leyla up to whip but Leyla elbows back. Leyla runs but into Evans’ scoop and SLAM! Evans stomps Leyla, rains down angry rights then lets up to choke Leyla! The ref reprimands, Evans lets off and puts Leyla in the corner. Evans throws haymakers, rams her shoulder in, and then again.
The ref counts, Evans lets off and argues with him, then brings Leyla around to CLUB her! Leyla crawls to ropes, Evans chokes her! The ref counts, Evans lets off, but she CHOPS Leyla on the back! Leyla gets up in a huff but she runs into another scoop and SLAM! Evans toys with Leyla, taunts her, and brings her up to throw forearms against ropes. Evans whips, runs in, but Leyla dodges to then clothesline! Leyla runs and METEORA! SWINGING DROPKICK! Fans fire up with Leyla as she talks trash to Evans, then yanks her right up for a SAIDO! Leyla storms around Evans, lets her get up so she can fireman’s carry.
Evans elbows free, shoves, but Leyla springboards, into a fireman’s carry! Evans hits a SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Evans grows frustrated and she drags Leyla up, but Leyla KICKS a leg out, then KNEES Evans in the head! Evans staggers, Leyla runs in, flying-mare into an ARMBAR! Evans taps, Leyla wins!
Winner: Leyla Hirsch, by submission
That armbar is #LEGIT! Will it be what helps Leyla take over the top 5? But as Leyla leaves the ring, Vickie Guerrero gets at her about something. Does she think Leyla is not legit? Will Leyla get to shut the Vicious Vixen up with actions?
John Silver w/ the Dark Order VS John Skyler!
Number 4, the Meat Man, Johnny Hungy, he goes by many names. But will he be called the winner tonight against the Southern Savior?
The bell rings and Silver circles with Skyler. They tie up, are in a deadlock but Silver headlocks. Skyler powers out but Silver runs him over! Things speed up, Skyler hurdles but Silver handsprings to RANA! Skyler gets up into a dropkick! Silver flexes, he’s freakin’ jacked, baby! Silver KICKS Skyler in the chest, then KICKS him again! Fans fire up and Silver powers up to KICK Skyler down! Skyler staggers from the stinging in his chest, but Silver is on him in the corner. Silver whips, Skyler reverses but Silver goes up, only to get caught! ROLLING SENTON, back senton, and a rain of right hands! Skyler fires up but Negative One does not approve.
Skyler throws forearms, Silver throws body shots and elbows, then Silver runs. Skyler RAMS Silver into ropes, reels him in and shoves him hard into buckles! Silver sputters and falls over, Skyler covers, TWO! Skyler grows annoyed but he reels Silver into a rear bearhug. Negative One is a bit worried but the fans rally up. Silver fights up, throws elbows to get free, but Skyler CLUBS back! Skyler ROCKS Silver, Silver forearms back! Skyler uppercuts, Silver forearms again. Skyler throws a haymaker, Silver fires off! Silver runs but Skyler headbutts, uppercuts and KNEES! Silver dropkicks outta nowhere!
Silver has Skyler on ropes, runs in and BOOTS him! Torture rack and spin, TOWER HACKER BOMB! Cover, Silver wins!
Winner: John Silver, by pinfall
Negative One likes that! Will the Dark Order like it even more when Number 4 breaks into the top 5?
Penelope Ford w/ Kip Sabian VS Tesha Price!
Mrs. Superbad was there to support her husband and their best man, The Best Man, for Elevation, but got brushed aside a bit. Are there any hard feelings? Will Tesha pay the price for Miro being so cold?
The bell rings, Price dodges Ford’s boot then rushes back in but Ford uses ropes for defense. Ford then kicks Price low, throws haymakers, and whips Price to ropes. Price holds ropes to stop, kick Ford back, but then Ford ducks the roundhouse and heel kick to kick back! Ford CHOPS Price, whips her corner to corner, but Price reverses to try and snapmare. Ford pushes her away, Price goes up and over and flying elbows Ford out of the ring! Price taunts Ford but Kip tells her to quiet down. Price runs in but Ford trips her up to spin her and ROCK her on the apron! Ford gets in, stands on Price, then stomps away!
The ref counts, Ford lets off, but then goes up and KNEE DROPS to the apron! Kip cheers Ford on as she covers Price, TWO! Ford drags Price up, brings her around and hangs her out to dry on ropes. Ford runs side to side to BOOT Price down! Fans fire up for Ford as she puts Price on ropes and chokes her! The ref counts, Ford lets off, but then she YANKS Price into ropes! Ford drags Price up, fireman’s carry, and GUTBUSTER DROP! Cover, TWO!? Price survives and Ford is furious! Ford drags Price up, whips her to a corner and runs in to handspring, but Price rolls to dodge! Price comes back to handspring and ROUNDHOUSE! Price runs but the bulldog is denied!
Ford seethes, and HEEL KICKS Price right down! Ford drags Price back up so she can handspring CUTTER! Cover, Ford wins!
Winner: Penelope Ford, by pinfall
The Superbads celebrate another win with kisses, as usual. But will Ford be driving back up to the top 5 soon enough?
Chaos Project VS Fuego del Sol & Jake St. Patrick!
The Original Death Dealer and SNAKEMAN have been on the losing end of things lately, but that doesn’t stop them from creeping back up. Will they make the Fire of the Sun and JSP feel pain and torment befitting of Dark?
The teams sort out, but Luther and Serpentico attack Fuego and JSP! They kick Fuego out, the bell rings and Luther whips JSP corner to corner to clothesline! And then back the other way for another clothesline! Luther reels JSP into a BIG LARIAT! Tag to Serpentico, he is the human weapon, inverted suplex splash! Cover, TWO! Serpentico stomps JSP, bumps him off buckles over and over, then Luther tags in. Luther grabs Serpentico and JSP for a meeting of the minds! Serpentico flops out of the ring, Luther reels JSP in, and Luther calls his shot! LUTHER BOMB!! High stack cover, but Fuego breaks it up! Fuego gets away fast, but Luther stays between him and JSP.
Luther drags JSP up, back suplexes but JSP lands on his feet! JSP dodges, hot tag to Fuego! (no pun intended) Fuego hits a missile dropkick for Luther! Fuego rallies on Chaos Project with fast hands, then uses Luther to get just manage the SLICED BREAD on Serpentico! Fuego still rallies on Luther, then springboards to QUEBRADA! Fuego kips up to mule kick! Fuego goes to a corner as fans fire up! Fuego leaps to hit the TORNADO DDT! Cover, but Serpentico breaks it! Chaos Project regroups, Serpentico whips Luther in to DECK JSP! Fuego KNEES Luther, runs but Luther BOOTS Fuego down!
Luther drags Fuego up, Serpentico tags in, and Chaos Project hits CREEPING DEATH! Cover off the meteora spinebuster, Chaos Project wins!
Winners: Chaos Project, by pinfall
Luther and Serpentico just put out Fuego, and have perhaps ruined St. Patrick’s day. Will these two continue to creep up the rankings and be contenders soon enough?
Jazmin Allure VS KiLynn King!
Top Tier is back but so is the King! Who stands tall as the AEW Women’s Division heads for Double or Nothing?
The bell rings and King circles with Allure. They tie up, Allure waistlocks but King switches to slam her down! King holds on with the waistlock but Allure fights up and wrenches out. King wrenches back, whips Allure to a corner but Allure goes up, only for King to kick her down! King swings but into a roll-up, ONE! Allure runs into a scoop but slips out to kick away on a leg! Allure runs again and dropkicks the leg out! Allure MULE KICKS King down, covers, TWO! Allure keeps on King with a rain of rights! The ref counts, Allure lets off and throws King by her hair! Handspring splash, cover, TWO! Allure grows frustrated as King goes to a corner.
Allure is after her with forearms, but King shoves her away and throws forearms. Allure kicks, snapmares and KICKS King to cover, ONE! Allure clamps onto an arm, King wrenches out and ROCKS Allure! Allure SLAPS King, King seethes and blocks a slap to SLAP back! King CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS, then whips! Allure reverses but King CLOBBERS her! King rallies with more clotheslines, then boots a clothesline away to ROUNDHOUSE! Allure is down but King fires up! King says she’s going to take Allure for a ride, and gives her a GIANT SWING! The fans count it out, and King gets about 10 in! A certain Swiss Cyborg would be impressed!
Allure staggers up, King runs in but Allure boots her! Allure hops up, leaps, wheelbarrow and victory roll FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! King isn’t done and Allure is frustrated. Allure drags King up by her hair, throws forearms then runs, but the wheelbarrow becomes KINGDOM FALLS!! Cover, King wins!
Winner: KiLynn King, by pinfall
King didn’t fold and stands tall! But when will The King get to sit on the throne of AEW?
8 Man Tag: The Dark Order VS Angel Fashion, Baron Black, Ryzin & Vary Morales!
Negative One rallies his troops as Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, Alan Angels and Colt Cabana form up and hit the ring! Will Number 5, BOOM BOOM and the OG show the Fashionable Hombre, the EmpBRUH, the Priest of Sin and La Estrella de Rock?
The teams sort out while Negative One lounges on the steps of the ramp, and Fashion starts with Stu. Stu picks Fashion right up, puts him in the corner for forearms, then Uno tags in. Stu whips Uno in to corner splash, then Stu RAMS in! Stu feeds Fashion to Uno’s BACKBREAKER! Vary tags in but Uno kicks low. Tag to Stu and Uno whips Vary to kitchen sink knee! Stu PENALTY KICKS Vary down! Stu drags Vary up, RAMS him into the corner and CHOPS him! Tag back to Uno and Uno CHOPS Vary! Tag to Cabana, he ROCKS Vary, then tags Angels in to EuroUpper! Stu tags in, CHOPS Vary again, then tags Uno. Uno back elbows, Cabana tags in to throw a haymaker!
Tag to Angels, he spinning back kicks, then all four members get in! Angels scoop slams Vary! All four men run, and then stop to hit the Dark Order pose. Negative One cheers as Angels brings Vary up for a back suplex. Vary lands on his feet, shoves Angels then follows. Things speed up, Angels hits a Belly2Belly with a twist! Cover, TWO! Tag to Cabana, they whip Vary for DOUBLE DOUBLE CHOPS! Negative One high-fives Cabana then does the Running Man, and Cabana runs at Vary in the corner. Vary dodges and Cabana hits buckles! Hot tag to Ryzin! Ryzin runs at Cabana but gets a DOUBLE CHOP! Cabana throws a big elbow, then another!
Cabana hits a Bionic Elbow, then goes to tag, but Ryzin keeps Caban from the corner! Ryzin dodges Cabana’s clothesline to ENZIGURI! Ryzin throws hands, then runs, into a BIG back drop! Tag to Baron but Uno tags in and BLASTS the corner! Uno dodges Baron, keeps going and CLOBBERS Baron! Uno DECKS Vary for good measure but Fashion gets in, only to get a NECKBREAKER! Uno blocks Baron’s kick and hands it to Stu so he can DECK Vary again! The ref reprimands, Stu hands Baron’s foot to Colt, and Uno still hits Baron with a NECKBREAKER! Tag to Cabana, Uno and Angels hit Fashion and Vary down!
Uno ROCKS Baron, Angels HEEL KICKS, and Stu torture racks for NIGHTFALL! Cabana finishes it off with the BILLY GOAT’S CURSE! Baron taps, Dark Order wins!
Winners: The Dark Order, by submission
Another big win for the Dark Order, and Negative One adds insult to injury as he kicks Baron out of the ring. The OG pick up Negative One to keep him contained, but will there be no stopping the faction from taking over AEW?
Six Man Tag: The Gunn Club VS David Ali, Seth Gargis & Adam Priest!
Billy joins his boys, Colten & Austin, and they roll three Gunns deep tonight! Will they stay undefeated as a trio and head for big things in AEW?
The Gunns do rock-paper-scissors, but Gargis leads the charge against them! Ali goes after Austin, Gargis keeps on Colten, but Billy backs Priest down. Billy fireman’s carries Priest to ram into a corner, Austin and Colten turn things around to stomp away! Billy has his boys coordinate, Billy feeds Priest to Colten’s COLT 45! Colten feeds Gargis to Billy’s FAMOUSER! Austin loads up, the Gunns whip Ali to the QUICK DRAW! Cover, the Gunn Club wins!
Winners: The Gunn Club, by pinfall
BANG BANG BANG, the Gunn Club shoots and scores! But will there ever come a time when they miss the mark?
Bear Country VS Dean Alexander & Brick Aldridge!
Bear Boulder & Bear Bronson will join Jurassic Express against Matt Hardy’s horde for Dynamite, but they need to keep rolling as a duo. Will The Sensation and… Brick… end up lost in Bear Country?
The teams sort out, and the Bears BULLDOZE Brick and Alexander! Boulder scoop SLAMS Brick, scoops Alexander but Alexander slips out, only for Boulder to put him up top! Boulder ROCKS Alexander, scoops Brick and RAMS Brick into Alexander! Boulder carries both men for a DOUBLE OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE! Tag to Bronson, then Boulder sets their opponents like a stack of pancakes, for The BEAR COUNTRY SPLASH!! Cover, Bear Country wins!
Winners: Bear Country, by pinfall
Well who knew bears could move so quick! Boulder & Bronson are building momentum, are we going to see Bear Country reach the top 5?
Nick Comoroto w/ QT Marshall VS D3!
The Freak Beast Wrecking Ball is apparently the one member of the Nightmare Family not questioning QT’s behavior. But those issues aside, will Comoroto crush the Prince of Rome to at least make QT proud?
The bell rings and D3 is wary of Comoroto. They circle, Comoroto goes for a leg but D3 slips away. D3 is in a corner, he evades Comoroto and then does it again. Comoroto gets a bit annoyed with the dodgy D3, and he finally gets a hand on him! D3 wrenches to a wristlock but Comoroto scoops and SLAMS him! D3 kicks from below, and then again! D3 goes to a corner, goes up and over Comoroto then runs in but is put on the apron. D3 shoulders in, gamangiris then leaps, but into a fireman’s carry! Comoroto wants the Ushigoroshi but D3 handsprings out to fire off kicks! Comoroto shoves D3, D3 dodges but runs into a BACKBREAKER!
QT cheers Comoroto on as he military presses D3 to the POWERSLAM!! Cover, Comoroto wins!
Winner: Nick Comoroto, by pinfall
The Wrecking Ball DEMOLISHES D3, but will he do even more damage as he and QT climb up the rankings?
The Varsity Blondes VS Jorel Nelson & Royce Isaacs!
Griff Garrison & Brian Pillman Jr have gotten on a bit of a roll, but they’ve gotta keep it going if they want to be contenders! Will the get through the West Coast Wrecking Crew to prove they’re already ready for more?
The teams sort out and BPJ starts with Isaacs. They circle, tie up, and BPJ waistlocks. Isaacs switches, headlocks, but BPJ powers out. Isaacs rams BPJ but he stays up. They start shoving, Isaacs SLAPS first, then runs, but BPJ dodges to run him over! BPJ wrenches Isaacs, whips him to the corner to CHOP! Tag to Griff and Griff hits a splash! The Blondes double suplex Isaacs high and hard, Griff covers, TWO! Griff keeps on Isaacs with a wrench, tags to BPJ, and BPJ CLUBS Isaac’s arm. BPJ wrenches, wristlocks, and yanks on the arm. BPJ wrenches again, but Isaacs ROCKS him with a right! BPJ CHOPS back, but Isaacs CHOPS and ROCKS him!
Isaacs whips BPJ but BPJ reverses. BPJ runs in but is put on the apron, only for BPJ to ROCK Isaacs! Isaacs distracts the ref by playing it up, and Nelson trips up BPJ’s springboard! BPJ hits apron on the way down, the Nelson throws BPJ back in. Isaacs drags BPJ up, throws forearms, and stomps BPJ into the corner. Tag to Nelson and Nelson stomps BPJ down. The ref counts, Nelson lets off to taunt Griff, but the ref keeps Griff back. BPJ CHOPS Nelson but Nelson stomps him back down. Tag to Isaacs, WCWC mugs BPJ, but fans rally up. Tag to Nelson, NECKBREAKER to BASEMENT SHOULDER! Leg drop and elbow drop, Nelson covers, TWO!
BPJ checks his jaw but Nelson taunts Griff. Nelson drags BPJ up to put him in the cover, and he runs in to shoulder BPJ! Nelson uses the three point stance but BPJ elbows him away! BPJ DECKS Isaacs but Nelson BOOTS BPJ! BPJ powers up and POUNCES Nelson! Both men are down, hot tag to Isaacs and he keeps BPJ away from Griff! BPJ flips through to hot tag Griff! The Ivy League MVP rallies on the WCWC, hip toss for Isaacs, BIG back drop for Nelson! Griff runs to SPLASH Nelson, then runs to SPLASH Isaacs! Griff suplexes Isaacs for the FALCON ARROW! Cover, but Nelson breaks it! Griff throws body shots on Nelson but Nelson kicks a leg out!
WCWC coordinate, Canadian rack, DOMINATOR CUTTER! Cover, TWO!! Isaacs drags Griff back up, tags Nelson, and they mug Griff to then double back suplex. Griff lands on his feet, BPJ tags in, Griff sends Isaacs out hard! Griff ROLLING ELBOWS Nelson, BPJ FLYING CLOTHESLINES! Cover, the Blondes win!
Winners: The Varsity Blondes, by pinfall
The WCWC get an A for effort, but BPJ and the MVP stand tall! Will they be graduating into the top 5 rankings soon enough?
VertVixen VS Madi Wrenkowski!
Two young hopefuls return to fight their way up the rankings. Both are students of Thunder Rosa, but will Madi make Vert face reality and prove she’s Rosa’s star pupil?
The bell rings, Vert rushes Madi and throws big forearms! Madi powers Vert to a corner to throw forearms in return! Vert turns things around to throw forearms, but the ref counts. Vert whips, Madi reverses and runs in to crossbody! Madi snapmares Vert, hits a NECK SNAPPER, then covers, TWO! Madi rains down forearms, drags Vert up and runs, but Vert hits an uppercut! Vert elbows Madi against ropes, then snapmares her to run and CALF KICK! Madi flounders around, Vert fires up and runs in to dropkick Madi to the corner! Madi drags herself up, Vert runs back in, but only gets buckles! Madi fireman’s carries for the ROLLING SENTON! Madi keeps going, BIG leg drop, brother! Cover, TWO!
Madi keeps her cool, drags Vert up, but Vert trips Madi to rain down hands! Madi pushes Vert away, throws haymakers and forearms of her own, then whips corner to corner. Vert slides to a stop to EDDY GORDO Madi away! SUPERKICK and SUPERKICK, then an GAMANGIRI! Madi is dazed and Vert throws body shots. Madi forearms back, they brawl from the mat and up to their feet. Madi throws forearms, whips, Vert reverses but Madi LARIATS! Vert gets up but Madi LARIATS again! Madi hits a back drop! Madi drags Vert up, whips her to a corner, then runs in to go up and MONKEY FLIP! Fans fire up with Madi as Vert rises again, Madi runs but her dropkick is deflected!
Vert runs to KNEE Madi down! Cover, TWO!! Madi survives and shocks Vert! Vert drags Madi up and around, but Madi gets her in a small package! Cover, TWO! Vert escapes, staggers to a corner, and she runs back at Madi, but into a drop toehold! Madi runs to SCISSOR KICK!! Cover, Madi wins!!
Winner: Madi Wrenkowski, by pinfall
Now can you dig that, sucka? Madi gets a big win against her classmate and rival, but will Madi’s reality be a bright future in AEW?
Tag Career on the Line: SoCal Uncensored VS Aaron Solow & Carlie Bravo!
Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian are still on their journey of tag titles or bust, and clearly they haven’t reached the end yet! Will the Extra Talented and #GoonPlatoon bring about the shocking conclusion of SCU?
The teams sort out and the Fallen Angel starts with Bravo. Daniels talks to Bravo, Bravo offers a handshake, but Daniels just pats Bravo on the shoulder. Bravo and Daniels circle, tie up, and Bravo gets an arm to wrench to a wristlock. Daniels rolls, wrenches back and headlocks, and holds on as Bravo tries to power out. Bravo tries again and gets free but Daniels runs him over! Daniels headlocks again and Bravo’s back to square one. Bravo throws body shots, powers out, but Daniels runs him over again! Things speed up, Bravo hurdles and hip tosses Daniels to then dropkick him down! Daniels blocks the next dropkick but misses the elbow drop! Fans cheer this opening exchange!
Bravo and Daniels circle but Daniels tags out to the Heavy Metal Rebel. Solow calls to Bravo and Bravo tags him in. Solow and Kaz circle, feel out the grapple, and tie up. Kaz waistlocks to slam Solow down, then holds on to shift and body scissor to a cover, TWO! Solow runs into a drop toehold, Kaz facelocks and keeps Solow grounded. Solow fights up, rolls but Kaz rolls with him. Kaz cranks on the grovit, Solow endures and fights up to back drop. Kaz makes that a sunset flip, TWO! Solow dodges to arm-drag Kaz around, then clamps on with an armlock! Kaz fights up, puts Solow on ropes, and Solow lets off. Kaz CHOPS Solow, whips him but Solow reverses to arm-drag again!
Solow dropkicks Kaz down and covers, ONE! Solow drags Kaz over, tag to Bravo, and Bravo clubs Kaz’s arm. Bravo whips, Kaz kicks him away then tags Daniels. Kaz shoves Bravo to Daniels’ STO! Daniels drags Bravo up to DECK him, then whips him to back drop! Daniels hesitates but he covers, ONE! Daniels snapmares Bravo, tags Kaz, then slingshot elbow drops! Kaz slingshot leg drops, and fans fire up as Kaz brings Bravo up. Kaz wrenches, reels Bravo in and hits a back suplex! Cover, TWO! Kaz facelocks Bravo, tags Daniels in, and SCU whips Bravo to GAMANGIRI and Manhattan drop! Daniels goes up, CROSSBODY HIGH LOW! Cover, TWO! Another try, TWO!
Daniels argues the count but the ref says it’s fair. Daniels clamps on tight with chinlock and fans rally up for Bravo. Bravo fights up, throws elbows, but Daniels shoves Bravo. Bravo dodges, sunset flips but Daniels slips free only to miss the leg drop! Hot tag to Solow! Solow rallies on SCU! Uppercut and a whip to Daniels for another uppercut! Solow keeps going, another whip but Daniels puts him on the apron! Solow enziguris Daniels, dodges Kaz and SUPERKICKS him! Solow goes up top, leaps at Daniels, and hits a FLYING CLOTHESLINE! Cover, TWO! Bravo brings Daniels up but Daniels hits a COMPLETE SHOT!
Solow staggers, Daniels brings him around, underhooks but Solow RANAS free of Angel’s Wings, to SCREW HIGH KICK! Kaz tags in, dodges a kick, and Oklahoma Rolls! TWO, Kaz CHOPS Solow! Kaz suplexes but Solow slips out to throw Kaz down and DOUBLE STOMP! Tag to Bravo, Bravo goes up as Kaz staggers, CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Kaz flounders to a corner, Bravo runs in but Kaz elbows him! Kaz dodges, Bravo hits buckles, Kaz CLOBBERS Bravo! Tag to Daniels, Daniels DECKS Solow, and Kaz gut wrenches Bravo. BEST MELTZER EVER!! Cover, SCU wins!
Winners: SoCal Uncensored, by pinfall (still a tag team)
Undefeated since issuing the challenge to themselves, and they are climbing the mountain! But will they make it to the top? And with Young Bucks soon to face Death Triangle, who will even be at the top when (or if) SCU gets there?
Sonny Kiss & Joey Janela VS Brian Cage & Ricky Starks w/ Team Taz!
Jersey’s Finest has hit a rough road as of late, but sometimes if you’re going through hell, you keep on going to get past it! Will they end up running right into that hell against Team Taz’s #AbsoluteMachines?
The teams sort out, Kiss and Cage start and circle. Fans rally up as Cage doesn’t seem to take Kiss serious. Cage choke grips, pops Kiss up but Kiss slips free and runs to tilt-o-whirl headscissor Cage to a corner! Kiss handsprings in for the KISS MISSILE SLAP! Cage swings but Kiss goes Matrix to bridge and kick, but Cage blocks the enziguri to KNEE Kiss down! Cage drags Kiss up, RAMS him into the corner, then RAMS into Kiss with a shoulder! And again! Starks tags in without warning, but Cage moves aside. Starks CHOPS Kiss, ROCKS him then stomps him! Starks drags Kiss up to whip, Kiss rolls off the back then leap frogs. Starks shoves Kiss down but Kiss kicks.
Starks still back suplexes but Kiss lands on his feet to ROUNDHOUSE Starks! Hot tag to Janela and the Bad Boy CROSSBODIES! Janela fires off haymakers over and over and DECKS Starks! Cage runs in but Janela dumps him out! Janela builds speed to DIVE, but Cage catches him! For a BRAINBUSTER! Cage drags Janela up and in for Starks, and Starks KNEES Kiss down. Starks drags Janela up, scoop SLAMS him, then runs to drop a knee! Cover, but Kiss breaks it! Starks swipes at Kiss, drags Janela back up and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Cage, Cage stomps away on Janela, then digs his boot in.
The ref counts, Cage lets off, and Starks gets a cheap shot in before Cage BOOT WASHES! Tag to Starks, Starks whips Janela to an open corner then runs in, into Janela’s BOOT! Janela hops up, leaps to sunset flip, TWO! Starks storms over to Janela but Janela throws him into buckles! Janela reaches for Kiss but Starks CLOBBERS him first! Starks swipes at Kiss again, brings Janela up to throw him out, then stomps him on the apron. Starks distracts the ref, Hook sweeps Janela’s legs! Kiss protests but the ref keeps him back as Starks puts Janela back in. Cover, TWO! Janela flips Starks off but Starks SLAPS him! Janela SLAPS back, Starks DECKS Janela!
Starks hits a BIG back suplex, drags Janela over and tags in Cage. Starks holds a leg but Cage stomps Janela’s chest. Cage whips Janela hard into a corner, then drags him up for forearms. Cage runs but Janela forearms back! And again! Janela fires up as he throws more forearms, but he runs into Cage’s arms and Cage RAMS Janela into buckles! Cage runs but Janela dodges and Cage hits buckles! Janela crawls for his corner, Cage grabs at Janela but Janela kicks. Cage dead lifts Janela for a BUCKLE BOMB! Tag to Starks, he drags Janela to a cover, TWO! Starks drags Janela up, suplexes but Janela slips out to shove Starks into Cage! O’Conner roll, TWO!
Janela DECKS Cage, elbows Starks, and then kicks Cage to hit SLICED BREAD on Starks! Taz gets worried, Janela hot tags Kiss! Cage tags in, Kiss dodges and fires off! Kiss bobs ‘n’ weaves, fires off more, but Cage shoves Kiss away. Kiss rebounds, slides under then dropkicks and kicks to ROUNDHOUSE! Kiss whips, Cage reverses but Kiss slides out to the apron! Cage runs into another ROUNDHOUSE! Kiss climbs, leaps, METEORA! Cover, TWO!! Taz is frustrated but so is Kiss. Fans rally up, Cage blocks a whip to send Kiss to a corner. Kiss BOOTS Cage, hops up and leaps, FLYING RANA! Kiss keeps going, BOOT to splits and then a roll up, TWO!
Kiss SPINNING BUZZSAWS! Cover, Starks breaks it! Starks drags Kiss up, Kiss throws forearms back! Kiss whips, Starks reverses, Team Taz combine to DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER Kiss! Cage covers but Janela breaks it! Starks runs at Janela but the Spear is sent into ropes! Janela uppercuts Cage, Kiss ROCKS him with a forearm, and Jersey’s Finest combine for a DOUBLE BACK SUPLEX! Janela hurries up top, and DIVING SPLASHES! Kiss is up top now, and drops the 450 SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Cage survives and Jersey’s Finest can’t believe it! Kiss tags Janela, then Janela tags Kiss. They both run to DECK Starks!
Cage runs in, misses, Janela ROCKS Cage, Kiss back elbows, Janela ROLLING ELBOWS, Kiss ROUNDHOUSES, Janela SUPERKICKS! Janela positions Cage in the dragon sleeper but Cage powers up to scoop Janela! Cage RAMS Janela into Kiss, shifts Janela, Kiss jumps on but the seated senton isn’t enough! Starks tags in, Cage hits the POWERBOMB POWERSLAM! Starks SPEARS Kiss, covers, Team Taz wins!
Winners: Team Taz, by pinfall
The #AbsoluteMachines win, but Cage is a touch surprised Starks sniped that cover. But a win is a win, Starks strikes his pose, Taz says this is just because they’re upset about Revolution. Team Taz rolls on, will they be the ones to face whoever holds the AEW World Tag Team Championships after Bucks VS Death Triangle happens?
But speaking of frustrations, Janela is upset with Kiss! Janela says at this rate, he’s going back to delivering pizzas, wrestling in bingo halls for 8×10’s, hotdogs and handshakes, all because of Kiss. Fans boo and Kiss tries to apologize, but then Janela apologizes. Janela hugs Kiss, helps him up and says this is just frustration. Think about it from their perspective. Is the rough road ahead even rougher than either Janela or Kiss imagined?
Jack Evans VS Preston Vance w/ The Dark Order!
The Hybrid2 are down to one for right now, but the mouthier half is holding it down for them both. But will this Hybrid1 feel like a zero against Number 10?
Negative One tops of his night, and perhaps complicates Excalibur’s, by joining commentary. The bell rings and Vance circles with Evans. They tie up, Vance shoves Evans down hard! Evans goes to the apron, complaining about hair pulling, but then he hotshots Vance! Evans talks trash but Vance drags Evans back up! Vance suplexes Evans, holds him up for TEN then SLAMS Evans down! Negative One points out that he was very upset when Evans helped cheat Vance out of the Face of the Revolution Ladder Match, so this is payback. Vance CHOPS Evans in a corner, whips Evans corner to corner, then runs in to clothesline! Vance TOSSES Evans across the way!
Evans bails out, Vance follows but Evans trips him up! Vance hits apron and Negative One is upset, but then Evans crossbodies into Vance’s arms! Evans slips out of the scoop to POST Vance! Negative One doesn’t want commentary, he saw what happened! Vance is down, Evans goes into the ring and the ring count climbs. Vance stands at 5, gets in at 7, but baits Evans into a BOOT! Vance covers, TWO! Vance drags Evans up to whip, back drop but Evans lands on his feet to CORKSCREW KICK! Evans talks trash and throws hammering ax handles! “This is what happens when you push an honorable man too far!”
Evans throws hands, wrenches Vance and whips him to ropes to hit a LEG LARIAT! Evans says BOOM for the STANDING SKY TWISTER! Cover, TWO! Negative One stresses out as Evans CLUBS Vance down. Vance throws body shots, Evans elbows him down! Evans bumps Vance off buckles, wrenches and whips corner to corner, then shows off with the handspring back elbow! Evans hits so hard, he falls out of the ring! Vance staggers, Evans SPRINGBOARD RYDER KICKS him down! Negative One grows more annoyed as Evans goes to the corner and climbs up. Evans PHOENIX SPLASHES but Vance avoids it! Evans FLOPS and both men are down!
Fans rally up as a standing count climbs. Vance is up at 5 to CLOBBER Evans! Vance rallies with more clotheslines, then he whips Evans, but Evans fights the spinebuster, so Vance back drops him! Vance whips Evans, tries again but Evans knees and haymakers! Evans stands on Vance to then STANDING SHOOTING STAR! Cover, TWO! Evans grows frustrated and Negative One threatens to smack Excalibur as Evans stomps Vance down. Evans drags Vance up, snap suplexes then covers, TWO! Evans gets an ARMBAR! Vance endures, makes it a high stack cover, TWO! Evans runs and DECKS Vance again! Cover, TWO!
Evans gets up, throws haymakers, but Vance puts Evans in the corner to fire off hands and CHOPS! Evans kicks, throws haymakers, then bumps Vance off buckles. Evans digs his boot in, the ref counts and Evans lets off at 4. Vance goes to a corner, Evans throws haymakers, then snapmares Vance to a seated cobra twist! Evans makes it a cobra cradle, TWO! Vance fights but Evans gets him to another armbar! The ref says they’re in the ropes, Evans holds on and gets Vance away from ropes, only for Vance to get back to ropes for the ropebreak. Evans lets go at 4, whips but Vance dodges and waistlocks, ripcord CUTTER! Both men are down but fans rally up!
A standing count begins, and it reaches 4 as Vance slowly sits up. Evans follows, both men get up but Vance CLOBBERS Evans again! And again! Vance whips, and back drops again! Evans staggers to a corner, Vance runs in but Evans BOOTS him! Evans runs, into the SPINEBUSTER! Negative One fires up with Vance as Evans goes to the apron. Vance runs in but into a ROUNDHOUSE! Evans springboards into a SPEAR!! Cover, TWO!?! Negative One is shocked! Vance drags Evans up, full nelsons, but is that Angelico!? Angelico was here all along and he distracts the ref for Evans to LOW BLOW Vance!! Negative One is freaking out!
Evans drags Vance to a drop zone, commentary is arguing, Evans PHOENIX SPLASHES!! Cover, TWO!!? Evans is shocked that Vance survives! Evans reels Vance in, Vance wrenches out and hits the FULL NELSON! Evans is a rag doll!! Vance doesn’t let up until Evans is OUT, Vance wins!!
Winner: Preston Vance, by submission
Vance has blood from the nose or mouth area, but he doesn’t seem to let that bother him. Will anything faze Vance on his way up the ranks in AEW?
A good Dark here, and they managed to get 15 matches in an hour and 45 minutes rather than 2 hours, which is a godsend. We already got 2 hours with Elevation, are going to get 2 hours with Dynamite, we need a little less somewhere in this new AEW triple threat. I will say, we got a solid block of squashes with the Gunn Club, Bear Country and Nick Comoroto getting their obvious wins out of the way quick. Dynamite clearly likes giving everyone a fair showing so that they earn their pay and get exposure, but sometimes a squash goes a long way to building up someone, so Bear Country and Comoroto are definitely building up as the beasts they are with those quick wins.
On the flipside, matches like Luchasaurus VS Bononi, Varsity Blondes VS WCWC, Vert VS Madi, and the last three matches were all properly lengthy. There is story building with Jurassic Express and “The Pretty Boys” since Avalon’s whole gimmick now is amassing a faction of attractive people, and it is pretty clear Jungle Boy fits the description. Varsity Blondes are still a young team, Isaacs & Nelson are a promising team as well, so getting some competitive showing works for both. Vert and Madi have a backstory that AEW can definitely play on, but with Madi getting the nod with the Women’s Title Eliminator Tournament, it makes sense for her to get the win.
SCU’s mission of titles or bust does benefit from having more competitive matches, it really plays on their doubts and how they’re one of the older teams. Team Taz has tension from losing the Street Fight, but it’s good story that there are cracks forming between Jersey’s Finest. Seems a bit of a shame that a team that had some promise is breaking up, but Janela does deserve to have some singles shine again. And Evans VS Vance has good story from the build to Revolution, Negative One was hilarious on commentary, and Angelico making that surprise return was a good twist. Vance still wins, he is a beast in his own right, and that bloody nose adds something to his win, like when Britt Baker kept going when she had that really nasty bloody nose.
My Score: 8.2/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (3/22/23)
Independence is Dynamite!
Dream matches, grudge matches, title matches, oh my!
The AEW World Tag Team Championships, Moxley VS Grayson, Hook VS Stokely under NO DISQUALIFICATIONS, and Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo, all on one night!
- Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad; Cassidy, Darby & Sting win.
- AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight; The Gunns win and retain the titles.
- No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway; Hook wins.
- Jon Moxley w/ Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order; Moxley wins.
- Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue; Storm wins.
- Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo; Omega wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
There’s a medical emergency backstage!
Hangman Page is on the phone with someone while Brandon Cutler gets in the ambulance. Cutler tells Hangman to make sure someone’s with Nick, meaning MATT Jackson is in the ambulance! The ambulance drives away, and now Nick is loaded into a second! The Young Bucks were attacked before cameras were rolling, Don Callis calms Kenny Omega down, and Hangman rides with Nick. Omega has his main event match with AAA rival El Hijo del Vikingo, but who went after his best friends?
Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad!
Freshly Squeezed is still a champion, as he retained the now AEW International Championship in Canada. But now, a familiar foe is rearing his Superbad head once again. Kip Sabian is bringing Butcher & Blade with him to go after Cassidy while his Best Friends are down and out. But will Cassidy’s new pals be more than enough to turn back the Superbad Squad?
The trios sort out and Cassidy starts against Kip. Fans rally and chant for “FRESHLY SQUEEZED!” but Kip copies Cassidy putting his hands up. Cassidy rushes in, Kip gets around and waistlocks to headlock. Cassidy powers out, headlocks back, but Kip powers out, only for Cassidy to slip around and headlock again. Kip powers out, things speed up and Cassidy arm-drags, but Kip cartwheels through! Kip mocks Cassidy, Cassidy rushes in but Kip dumps him out. Kip fakes Cassidy out with an Arabian Press, then he mocks putting his hands up again. Cassidy rushes back in, dodges Kip now, and sends him out!
Cassidy mocks Kip, then puts his hands up. To put his hands in his pockets! Kip rushes in, Cassidy dodges and SHOTGUNS! Cassidy kips up and fans fire up, but Kip scrambles away to tag in Butcher. Butcher eggs Cassidy on, but fans cheer as Cassidy tags in STIIIING! The Icon steps to Andy Williams and Andy talks trash. Butcher swings a forearm, but Sting just brushes it off! Butcher throws another forearm, but then Sting counter punches! And back hands! And punches again! Sting kicks low, ROCKS Butcher, then fires off in the corner. But Butcher claws at the eyes! The fans boo but Butcher BITES Sting’s forehead!
Butcher BLASTS Cassidy and Darby, then mocks Sting’s howl. Butcher runs, but misses the splash! Sting runs to hit the STINGER SPLASH! Fans fire up as Sting snapmares and gets the legs! But Blade and Kip attack! Fans boo but Darby and Cassidy fight them off! Kip throws Cassidy out, Blade scoops and dumps Darby out, then the Superbad Squad coordinates. Butcher & Blade reel Sting in, Butcher tags Kip, and then they DOUBLE SUPLEX Sting! Kip goes up the corner, but Sting slow rolls away, a la Cassidy! Speaking of Cassidy, he and Darby go after Butcher & Blade on the outside! Fans fire up but Kip is frustrated.
Kip storms over to another corner and climbs up again, but Sting slow rolls the other way! Fans fire up, Darby reaches out and makes the tag! Kip leaps, Darby gets under to SLAP, HEADBUTT, roll and CODE RED! Cover, TWO! Kip is still in this and Penelope Ford gets on the apron! The ref reprimands her while Darby whips Kip. Kip reverses, Darby goes up the ropes, but Blade trips him up! Darby hits the mat hard, Kip stomps away, and fans boo while AEW goes picture in picture.
Kip drags Darby up while Butcher sends Cassidy into barriers! Kip hits a FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Tag to Blade, the squad mugs Darby, then they send him into a corner. Blade runs in to CHOP! And CHOP! And then snapmare to PENATLY KICK! Cover, TWO! Blade drags Darby over, tags in Butcher, and they DOUBLE HEADBUTT Darby down. Butcher drags Darby up to CHOP him back down. Butcher drags Darby up to bump him off buckles, then he tags Kip. Kip stomps Darby, then taunts Sting. The ref reprimands Kip but that allows Blade to CHOKE Darby! Kip howls, tags Blade, and the mugging continues.
Blade brings Darby up to ROCK him with a forearm. Blade brings Darby around to whip him to ropes, to then POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Tag to Butcher, he stomps Darby, then ties up the legs. Darby throws hands from below, but Butcher still drags him into a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Darby endures, claws his way around, but even Penelope taunts him with shouting, “TAP! TAP!” Dynamite returns to single picture as Darby crawls towards his corner, only for Blade to swing him out into a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Darby survives but Butcher tags Kip. Kip drags Darby up to wrench an arm and whip. Darby uses that to BLAST Butcher & Blade!
Kip runs in, blocks Darby’s boot and spins Darby around to back suplex. Darby lands on his feet, but his knee jams! Darby crawls and scrambles, but Kip drags him back! Kip catches Darby, Blade trips Sting! Blade sends Sting into barriers! Darby sunset flips Kip, Kip stays up so Darby lets him go to hot tag Cassidy! Fans are thunderous as Cassidy eggs Kip on! Kip rushes Cassidy but gets a buckle bump! Cassidy goes up top, and CROSSBODIES! Cassidy keeps moving, he ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl DDT! And kip up! Fans are thunderous again as Cassidy gives Kip those “devastating” kicks! But then Butcher runs in to CLOBBER Cassidy!
Fans boo and the ref reprimands, but Butcher brings Cassidy up. Butcher lifts but Cassidy fights the bomb! Blade gets in, they DRAG THE LAKE!! Kip covers, TWO!! Cassidy survives and Kip is furious! Kip howls, runs and CANNONBALLS! Fans boo but Kip soaks it all up. Kip is too busy having fun, he misses Cassidy tag STIIIIING! Sting walks up to give those same “devastating” kicks! Kip thinks it’s Cassidy, and turns around into quite the surprise. Sting “beats” his chest, Kip swings, but into a LARIAT! Sting really fires up, and he rallies on the Superbad Squad! Kip springboards, but Sting catches him! SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!
Ford freaks out, Blade gets up and throws hands, but Sting doesn’t flinch! Butcher adds on, the 2v1 is too much and Kip gets free. But Darby returns to fire off on Butcher & Blade! Butcher blocks one, CLUBS Darby and then hoists Darby up. Darby BOOTS Blade, BITES Butcher’s hand, then runs to DOUBLE COFFIN SPLASH! Butcher & Blade bail out but Darby builds speed, into Kip’s body shot! Kip avoids Orange’s punch, to suplex, STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE! Then Cassidy DIVES to take out Blade! Darby hops up to THROWBACK STUNNER on Kip, then he DIVES into Butcher!
Sting has Kip in the dragon sleeper, and fans are thunderous for the SCORPION DEATH DROP!! Cover, Sting’s team wins!
Winners: Sting, Darby Allin & Orange Cassidy
A huge win for the unlikeliest of trios, and Cassidy adorns Sting with the sunglasses! As for Darby, he is looking at the Double or Nothing banner. The Relentless One wants at MJF and the gold, will he be living it up in Las Vegas?
AEW shares backstage footage from last week.
After having his “Re-Bar-Mitzvah” interrupted by Darby Allin, Sammy Guevara and “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry, it was obvious Maxwell Jacob Friedman was mad. He curses up a storm, then says he is the world champion! But Darby Allin says the world title means much more than money and fame. It is him being him. And Jack Perry, for himself, his family, and everyone who supported him all this time, he is going to become champion on his own. Sammy says that the world title is his destiny! He said so since episode ONE of Dynamite that he is going to be world champion. But MJF says that’s not how it works! You don’t waltz up to the champ and call your shot, you EARN it!
MJF has beaten Darby, Sammy and JB once each in 1v1 competition in their AEW careers, and he tells them they have to become #1 contender. Good luck trying, because all three of them SUCK! Sammy says he’ll win as many matches as it takes to get that belt off MJF. JB says that you can check the record books. He’s already won more matches than any of them. Darby says he’s beaten Sammy and he’s beaten JB, so he will stop at nothing to make sure that MJF is no longer champion. Who of these three Young Pillars of AEW will be THE one that challenges MJF at Double or Nothing?
AEW takes a closer look at tonight’s main event dream match.
Excalibur narrates that, “In 2021, there was no one hotter in professional wrestling than Kenny Omega. Known as ‘The Belt Collector,’ Omega won championships around the world, including in Mexico, where he won the AAA Mega Championship. At the same time, El Hijo del Vikingo was quickly establishing himself as one of the premier luchadors in all of Mexico. A match was made for December 2021: Vikingo, Omega, for the first time ever for the AAA Mega Championship. Unfortunately, Omega’s injuries at Full Gear were so severe, they required surgery, keeping him out of action for nearly a year.
“Now, with Omega back at 100%, the dream match is on for tonight. Kenny Omega, El Hijo del Vikingo, live!” Who will come out as truly the best today?
AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight!
They may not be the Young Bucks, the Lucha Brothers or the Hardy Boyz, but Austin & Colten are the brother tag team reigning over AEW. But will they soon find out they are not nearly as good as they think they are? Or will the Gunns cause the Coldest Tag Team in the Game to melt down?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who is really the better brother duo!
The teams sort out, Austin starts against Dante, and Independence taunts the “ASS~ BOYS!” Austin tunes that out, knuckle locks with Dante, and then he CHOPS! Austin goes up and up, but then says no no no. Austin hops down, swings on Dante, but misses! Dante knuckle locks and CHOPS, then he goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Dante kips up and fans fire up! Austin tags Colten, but Dante arm-drags Colten down! Tag to Darius, the Martins double whip and speed things up, to then DROPKICK Colten down! Austin runs in, but into a DROPKICK! The Gunns regroup, but the Martins double clothesline them up and out!
Fans fire up as Dante says they’re getting those belts. The “ASS~ BOYS!” regroup and Colten slides back in. Tag to Austin, he and Dante circle again, and Austin gets around to shove Dante to ropes. Dante BLASTS Colten before the cheap shot! Dante then goes up and over Austin, only for Austin to pull hair! The ref reprimands, but misses Colten HOTSHOT Dante down! Fans boo as Austin stomps and Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Austin whips Dante out of the ring, then taunts Darius to distract the ref. Colten stomps away on Dante! Colten puts Dante in before anyone notices, and Austin bumps Dante off buckles. Tag to Colten, he stomps Dante, but lets off as the ref reprimands. Colten stomps some more, he and Austin taunt Independence and Darius, then Colten drags Dante up. Colten DECKS Dante, then mocks the fans. Colten ROCKS Dante, ROCKS him again, then suplexes. Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martin brothers, drags Dante over and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Austin, he stomps Dante now, then digs his boots in.
The ref reprimands but Austin mocks the fans rallying for Dante. Austin lets off and Colten CHOKES Dante! Colten lets off Dante before he gets caught, and Austin tags Colten in. Colten drags Dante up, whips him to ropes, and the Gunns body shot, knee lift and LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martins again, drags Dante up and whips him to the corner. Colten runs in but Dante dodges the splash! Austin tags in and hurries to stop Dante. Austin shoves Dante down, but Dante fakes Austin out to go under! Austin still grabs a leg, tags Colten back in, and the Gunns double back suplex! But Dante lands on his feet!
Dynamite returns to single picture, Dante goes over Austin, over Colten, and tags in Darius! Darius rallies on the Gunns and fans fire up! Darius hits an atomic drop on Austin, then LARIATS Colten! Mule kick for Austin, and Darius whips him at Colten. Austin reverses but Darius uses that to UPPERCUT Colten! Austin runs back in, but is sent into Colten! Darius uses Austin to get up and ENZIGURI Colten! Darius then GERMAN SUPLEXES Austin, and STANDING SPANISH FLIES Colten! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Darius drags Colten up. Tag to Dante, Top Flight double whip, but Colten ducks and tags Austin!
Darius leaps to CROSSBODY Colten! Austin runs in, but into a hall nelson SLAM! cover, TWO!! Dante keeps cool, he goes to the corner, but Colten grabs his leg! Dante kicks Colten away, Darius DIVES onto Colten to hit him into railing! Dante GAMANGIRIS Austin, goes up and up and NOSEDIVES!! Cover, Colten breaks it!! Fans boo but Colten was within the rules. Wait, is that THE KINGDOM!? Mike Bennett & Matt Taven are mugging Darius over their ROH losses! But Dante FLIES out onto them! Direct hit and fans fire up! Dante hurries back up, springboards again, but Austin gets under!
Colten gets in, Dante runs into a 3:10 TO YUMA!! Cover, the Gunns win!
Winners: The Gunns, by pinfall (still AEW World Tag Team Champions)
Fans boo that the Gunns win, but Darius is pissed at The Kingdom! Darius chases off Mike & Matt, will Top Flight get revenge in ROH? As for the Gunns, they hear FTR coming! Fans fire up again as Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler step out on stage with mics in their hands! Colten gets a mic to have the FTR music stop. Colten says no one wants to hear that song and no one wants to see FTR. Fans boo because they disagree. FTR says they’re not here to fight. They’re here to talk business. Well, no one wants to hear you talk! The Gunns don’t like or respect FTR. And guess what? FTR are LOSERS! They lost three sets of belts, and lost to the Gunns!
There is nothing FTR can say or offer them to get a rematch. NOTHING! Nothing? So like, if they said they’ll never challenge the Gunns again for those titles should they lose- NO! Do you not hear what Austin is saying, “you hillbillies? NOTHING! There’s NOTHING! What do you have to offer?! NOTHING!!” Then if the Gunns wanna prove their first win wasn’t a fluke, should they win against FTR again, FTR will never tag together in AEW again. Oh, the break up? So heartbreaking! LOOK AT HIS FACE! NOTHING!! Okay, okay. Dax says if FTR can’t beat the Gunns to win the AEW World Tag Team Championships, FTR will just quit AEW.
Fans boo, but it seems that got through to the Gunns. If the Gunns beat FTR again, FTR leaves AEW forever? Yes, that’s what Dax said. Well, in that case, deal! The Gunns and FTR shake on it, but then Gunns literally spin in FTR’s faces! The Gunns run for it, but the match is coming either way. Will the “ASS~ BOYS!” get their asses kicked? Or will they be the team that banishes FTR from AEW?
Backstage interview with Jade Cargill, Leila Grey & Mark Sterling.
Renee Paquette is with the AEW TBS Champion, her Last Baddie Standing and her legal representation. Renee says that Taya Valkyrie is All Elite now, and she has her eye on the TBS title. What is Jade’s reaction to that? “Renee, cut the sh*t. We had this Taya girl come in and interrupt my moment to answer an open challenge that was already closed, baby girl. And then, had the audacity to use my finisher. Mark, tie this up.” Sterling has a document, it is a Cease & Desist order. This will be sent to Taya Valkyrie, telling Taya that she is no longer allowed to use the chicken wing facebuster, which is also Jade’s move, as her finisher.
Leila says that she should deliver this document to Taya personally, this Saturday on Rampage. Because she has a few words of her own for Taya. So that’s an official challenge? Yes. Welcome to #ThatBitchShow. Will La Wera Loca have a jaded response to this frivolous lawsuit?
No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway!
An injured arm turned into a suspension turned into a settlement turned into a high stakes bet that The Firm lost, and now it has resulted in this match. And though Ethan Page, Matt Hardy, Isiah Kassidy, Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey see Stokely off, they can’t stay per the stipulations of the bet. As the introduction says, “He’s not as large as the men he represents, he has the heart of a lion and the wisdom of an owl.” But will any of that help him defeat The Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil?
As Hook makes his entrance, Stokely grabs the mic to say, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’ve got some breaking news! I spoke to Dr. Simpson (he means Sampson) earlier, and he said I am not medically cleared to compete. I know, I know. I wanted to so bad. And I would also, what a coinky-dink, announce that I am retiring.” What? Stokely thanks all 12 of his fands, God bless! Justin, here, doctor’s note. Make it official. Justin takes the note, and it reads, “He is SICK.” Justin says that with all due respect, that’s a receipt for Wingstop. The ref RIPS the receipt! And the bell rings! Fans fire up and Hook is ready, so Stokely bails!
Stokely runs around the ring, out to the crowd, but Hook pursues! Fans fire up as Hook chases Stokely down, drags him back, CLUBS him, then brings him over to KNEE and TOSS! Stokely ends up at ringside again and fans are thunderous! Hook stalks Stokely, Stokely runs in to UPPERCUT, but Stokely bounces off of Hook! Stokely scurries away, gets back up, and runs in, but into a leg capture! EL CAMINO to the floor! Fans fire up as Hook drags Stokely up, puts him in the ring, and then looks under the ring. Fans fire up more, because here comes a SPARE GUARD RAIL! Hook puts that in the ring while the Firm can only watch.
Hardy tries to calm the group down, Stokely can take care of himself with things getting “hardcore.” Ethan says no he can’t, they didn’t practice any of the hardcore stuff! Stokely bails out again but Hook puts the railing in a corner. Hook drags Stokely up but Stokely BLASTS Hook with the fire extinguisher! Fans boo but Stokely gets a chair! Stokely smacks the steps a couple times, he says, “I’m not a killer, but don’t push me! That’s Tupac.” Stokely hurries in, fans rally up, and Stokely swings, but Hook blocks! Hook BOOTS Stokely, then SMACKS him on the back! And again! And again! And again!
Hook throws the chair aside, Stokely is barely moving! But Hook drags Stokely up to EL CAMINO onto the railing! The railing BENDS! Hook drags Stokely off the railing, covers, but then pulls him up at TWO! Hook wants REDRUM!!! Stokely is OUT, Hook wins!
Winner: Hook, by submission
The FTW Champion could’ve ended it sooner, but he chose to teach Stokely a lesson: Do not get on Hook’s bad side. Hardy says Ethan must avenge Stokely! Ethan can beat Hook! Hardy is gonna get a match made right now! All Ego is ready, but will he be ready when they #SendHook?
Adam Cole is here!
Fans fire up as the Undisputed One heads to the ring. Naturally, everyone joins in on the “BOOM!” and “ADAM COLE BAYBAY!” Cole gets the mic and says, “Wow. Hey, hey, I think I know the answer to this, but who’s ready for Storytime with Adam Cole, baybay?” Everyone cheers! Cole continues with, “Seven days. We are just seven days away from me making my in-ring return here in AEW. And listen, I know I’ve talked a ton about my struggles and what I went through, but as far as how I’m feeling right now? Guys, I feel freaking great. I have never been more ready, never been more prepared, to get back in this ring, doing what I love, and that is wrestle for AEW.”
Fans are fired up, and Cole knows everyone has questions. “The biggest one being: Who is my opponent going to be on March 29th?” Fans echo, “Who? Who? Who?” Cole starts to speak, but here comes Daniel Garcia! Fans boo as Red Death has the mic to say, “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Who’s ready for Storytime with Daniel Garcia, baybay?” Garcia knows Cole’s been gone awhile, so here’s an update on a few things. Fans tell Garcia to STFU already but Garcia says since Cole’s been gone, Garcia’s become a real veteran in AEW. All the boys in the back respect him so much that he is a locker room leader!
Fans boo more but Garcia says as locker room leader, it is his duty to come out here to not only welcome Cole back, but to put him in his place, too. Garcia says Cole may not remember, but here’s an update on what Garcia’s been doing the last nine months while Cole was home, “playing stupid video games on Twitch.” Cole smirks but allows it. Brody King: beat him! Ricky Starks: beat him! Bryan Danielson: Garcia beat him, too. Garcia’s main-evented more AEW programming over the past year than anyone else on the roster! Garcia is the lifeblood that pumps through this company. And he’s to respect Cole? To welcome Cole back? Where’s Garcia’s warm welcome?
Where is Garcia’s respect when he’s been here, been doing this, and proved himself as one of the best pro-wrest- Oops. Freudian slip there? Garcia corrects himself, “Sports entertainers on the planet today!” That’s what Garcia is! So what makes Cole so special? “What makes me special? When they ring the freakin’ bell, that’s what makes me special! That’s what makes m e special.” Cole admits he likes Garcia. Garcia is really, really good. And some day, he could be leading the charge in AEW. The problem is the company he keeps.
“The Jericho Appreciation Society, they’ve done a great job of giving you this false sense of security. This overconfidence, which sometimes is good, and sometimes is bad. But let me remind you, even me not wrestling for nine months, I am still Adam Cole Baybay. I am a multi-time world champion. I have traveled the globe, fought and beat some of the very best! As a matter of fact, while I was sitting at home for nine months, I was wondering if I’d ever get the chance to wrestle again, hoping, praying, willing to do anything for a second chance. And looks like I found that second chance.”
Fans fire up and Cole says if Garcia is crazy enough to want the match, then dammit, he’s on! Adam Cole VS Daniel Garcia, first-time-ever, next week on Dynamite! But Cole will remind Garcia of something: “This is not just my return match; this is a statement. It’s a statement to the entire locker room that one of the best damn pro-wrestlers on the planet is BACK, baybay.” Fans are fired up for “ADAM COLE! ADAM COLE!” Cole hopes Garcia realizes what he’ sin for. Because Cole promises next week will be a great night. A great night for Cole, for the fans, but for Garcia… Not so much. “See you next week, Garcia. BOOM.”
Cole is ready, Garcia is ready, but will the Dragonslayer stay a great sports enner-tay-ners? Or will the pro-wrestler in him rise to the surface against one of the greatest pro-wrestlers alive today?
Alex Marvez is outside The Elite’s locker room.
Marvez can hear a conversation going on inside, and he steps inside. Callis and Omega are talking, and Callis wants Marvez to hold on. What is Omega’s concern here? Omega’s concern is that his best friends left in an ambulance! He should’ve gone with them! Callis says he sent Cutler and Nakazawa with them. Omega has a match tonight! Hear Callis out. He’s a glass half full kind of guy. Injuries happen, but hear him out. The Bucks going to the hospital might’ve been the best thing for Omega and Callis. It allows for focus! Omega is in a singles match, the God of Pro-Wrestling is back! “Those kids will be fine in a few months.”
Callis now has Marvez join in. “Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo is gonna blow the roof off! The God of Pro-Wrestling is BACK, and it starts tonight on Dynamite! Now get out.” Marvez throws this back to ringside, but is Callis only thinking of his benefit, not Kenny’s?
Jon Moxley w/ The Blackpool Combat Club VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order!
The Maniac, along with Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta, have torn into the Dark Order from Silver to Reynolds to Evil Uno. They did all that to anger Hangman Page, but they’ve also angered #PlayerTwo! Moxley may be #ForgedByCombat, but will he survive someone born and bred for combat?
The bell rings and Stu RAMS Moxley into a corner! Fans fire up as Stu fires off on Moxley but lets off as the ref counts. Moxley turns things around to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Moxley pie faces Stu, but Stu turns things around to CHOP back! Stu stalks Moxley to another corner, KNEES him and CLUBS him, then stalks him to a third corner. Moxley kicks low, ROCKS Stu with a forearm, then another, then digs his boots in. The ref counts, Moxley steps off at 4, then Moxley drags Stu up to headlock takeover. Stu keeps his shoulders up, the Dark Order coaches him up but Moxley gets a knuckle lock cover. TWO as Stu gets his left arm up.
Moxley pushes the hand down, covers, TWO as Stu gets the right arm up. Moxley pushes that arm down again, covers, ONE as Stu gets his left arm back up. Stu fights to his feet but Moxley kicks low. Moxley headlocks, Stu powers out but Moxley RAMS him! Moxley runs, but Stu RAMS him! Moxley runs in, clips Stu but is sent out of the ring. Stu hurries out after Moxley, Moxley throws a chair! Stu avoids it, ROCKS Moxley and puts him in the ring. Moxley kicks back, but Stu RANAS! Stu fires forearms, CHOPS Moxley in the corner, then throws knees. Stu whips corner to corner, Moxley reverses and avoids the up ‘n’ over!
Moxley reels Stu in for a SAIDO! Stu staggers up but then flops out to the apron. Moxley runs to BLAST Stu off and to the barriers! Moxley flips Stu off while Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Yuta & Claudio taunt Stu as the ring count climbs. The Dark Order coaches Stu up and he gets in the ring at 5 of 10, but Moxley is right on him. Stu throws a forearm, then another, and another, and another! But Moxley ROCKS Stu with just one! Stu falls over and Claudio yawns. It seems this isn’t competitive enough for the Swiss Superman. Moxley has the legs, he stomps Stu in the stomach, then ties the legs up. But Stu fights back with fists! Moxley still powers Stu into the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Stu endures as Moxley sits deep, and he reaches out to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Moxley lets off at 4.
Moxley drags Stu up to CHOP, but Stu CHOPS back! Stu fires forearms, whips, and DROPKICKS Moxley! Moxley goes to a corner, Stu is after hm with a whip, but Moxley reverses to clothesline! Moxley then brings Stu out to X-PLEX! Moxley paces around, the BCC applauds, but the Dark Order coaches Stu. Moxley reels Stu in, lifts him, and hooks the legs to hit the GOTCH PILEDRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Stu is still in this, but Moxley has the knuckle locks back. Dynamite returns to single picture as Moxley rains down the DRAGON STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Stu hangs tough again, but Moxley just taunts him.
Fans rally, Stu rises, and Moxley KICKS him in the chest! And KICKS him again! Moxley eggs Stu on, then KICKS him more! Moxley SLAPS Stu! Stu snarls and stands up to fire off forearms! Stu whips, Moxley reverses but Stu CLOBBERS him! Stu dodges, tilt-o-whirls and REVERSE DDTS! Then he rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Fans fire up as Stu gives Moxley a taste of his own medicine! And then the SIDE EFFECT! SPRINGBOARD MARIPOSA! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives and Stu grows frustrated. Stu hurries up a corner, but Yuta distracts! Fans boo but the Dark Order storm up on the BCC!
Stu decides to change course, he ARIHARA MOONSAULTS onto Yuta & Claudio! But Moxley DIVES onto Stu! Moxley puts Stu in the ring, hurries after him, but Stu BOOTS Moxley down! Stu hurries back up top, for the 450 SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives again and Stu is shocked! But Stu slashes the throat and drags Moxley up. Torture rack, but Moxley slips off right into the BULLY CHOKE!! Stu endures, but he’s turning red! Moxley shifts to the facelock to throw in KNEE after KNEE! Then he shifts to the REAR NAKED CHOKE! But Stu fights up to his feet! Fans fire up but Stu is fading again!
But Stu is still on his feet, and he revives! BACKPACK CANNONBALL!! Both men crash into buckles and Stu is free! Fans are thunderous again and Moxley sputters back to his feet. Moxley brings Stu up, but Stu slips out of the underhooks! PELE!! Moxley falls down and the BCC coach him up. Stu goes back to a corner, climbs back up top, but Moxley ROCKS him first! Moxley climbs, CLUBS away on Stu, then CLAWS Stu’s back. Moxley HEADBUTTS Stu, brings him up into underhooks! SUPER DEATH RIDER!! Cover, Moxley wins!!
Winner: Jon Moxley, by pinfall
The Dark Order hurry into the ring and Moxley backs off, there won’t be any extracurriculars here. But will the Dark Order ever get payback on the mean SOBs in the BCC?
Backstage interview with Ricky Starks.
Renee says she can feel the frustration coming off The Absolute. The back ‘n’ forth with him and Juice Robinson, where do they stand? You tell him! Starks is “sick and tired of talking back and forth. No action, all talk.” Starks doesn’t wanna stand around, take time off his vacation, just to say Juice, he doesn’t like that you attacked him from behind. That’s cool and all, but whatever! How about this, though? Saturday Night Rampage, Starks is done talking. If Juice wants to face him man to man, then he can find Starks on Rampage! If not, just stop! Starks is over it, he is so sick of it! This is the craziest thing he’s been a part of his whole life!
Starks is issuing the open challenge to Juice. If Juice accepts it or not, is a man or not, Starks doesn’t give a damn anymore. The Absolute will be waiting, but will the Booster oblige?
AEW presents an all-new episode of QTV!
QT Marshall says great job last week in their debut, keep the “credibility train” rolling. CHOO-CHOO~! He needs scoops! Harley Cameron says she actually has discovered a “hot new prospect.” Goes by the name of Rey Fenix. And actually, here’s some footage. Hobbs POUNCING Fenix into buckles int heir TNT title match, and the spinebuster, and the Town Business. Everyone has a laugh, and QT says, “Imagine being in the Lucha Brothers, and your own lucha brother doesn’t come out to help you.” Aaron Solo says there is definitely some miedo! Then he laughs while also puffing mouth spray…?
QT asks who the hecc is Alex Abrahantes? Harley says Alex should work on his “character development.” Speaking of, how about Solo stealing Wardlow’s identity and freezing all of his accounts? Oopsie~! Yeah, Wardlow’s gonna lose his house and car, too! And Solo hacked into some observer’s accounts, started this whole thing about hotels. HAHA! QT just got a call from Hobbs. This Saturday on Rampage, another Open Challenge for the TNT title! Can’t wait to see who is the next chapter in the Book of Hobbs. Well, wait no longer! PENTA wants payback for Fenix as he answers the call! Will Hobbs be the one with some fear?
Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue!
The Lightning From Down Under has been striking down “spoiled rookies” again and again, but in the Dark. Will she do so again in the spotlight of Dynamite? Or will Skye roll the Storm away?
The bell rings and Storm BLASTS Skye with a forearm! Then she stomps a mudhole into Skye in the corner! The ref counts, Storm lets off but she grins and soaks up the heat. Soho & Saraya mock Skye, then Storm bumps her off buckles., Skye elbows back, fires forearms in return, and the fans fire up! But Storm knees low! Storm whips Skye, Skye kicks back! Skye ROCKS Storm again and again, but Storm shoves her away. Skye comes back, spins Storm for a KNEE SMASH and a DROPKICK! Storm bails out, fans fire up and Skye goes to the apron! FLYING RANA! Fans fire up with Skye but Saraya is mad.
Skye puts Storm in the ring, climbs up the corner, but Storm ROCKS her! Skye falls to the apron, then Storm HIP ATTACKS Skye to the floor! Storm distracts the ref, allowing Soho & Saraya to stomp away on Skye! Fans boo but the Outcasts get away with it! Saraya says, “This is OUR house!” Storm goes out to fetch Skye, and RAMS her into the apron. Storm CHOPS Skye against the post, then bumps her off the other. Storm CHOPS Skye again! Saraya says do it again! Storm puts some stank on this one, but Skye ducks, so the chop hits POST! Saraya & Soho panic as Storm clutches her fingers! Skye then runs in, but Storm dodges so Soho gets DECKED!
Storm CLOBBERS Skye from behind while the ring count climbs. Storm refreshes the ring count, Saraya shouts at Skye, and Storm CHOPS Skye again. Storm stalks Skye around the way as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Storm drags Skye around to snap suplex her to the floor! Storm flexes, perhaps taunting Jamie Hayter wherever she’s watching this from, and then she goes back for Skye. Storm puts Skye in the ring, flexes more, then drags Skye up. Storm whips Skye to ropes, BOOTS her down, covers, ONE! Cover again, TWO! Another cover, TWO!! Skye is still in this but Storm clamps on with a full nelson. Storm leans on the hold, thrashes Skye around, but Skye endures. Skye fights up, but Storm throws her down by her hair! The ref reprimands but Storm just stalks Skye. Storm kicks Skye around, has her in the corner, and digs her boot in.
The ref counts, Storm stomps but lets off at 4. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex! Storm grins then stalks Skye. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex again! Storm flexes more, stalks Skye to another corner, then wrenches her hair to TOSS her across the way! The ref reprimands but Storm just wrenches hair and TOSSES Skye again! Dynamite returns to single picture as Storm soaks up the heat. But Skye shoves Storm down! And then TOSSES Storm by her hair! And again! Skye fires up, runs corner to corner, but Storm puts her on the apron. Skye ROUNDHOUSES! Skye climbs up, to CROSSBODY!
Fans fire up, Skye keeps moving, she ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl headscissor! Storm ends up on ropes, Skye runs to SHINING WIZARD! Snapmare and SUPER- NO, Storm blocks and spins Skye, but Skye BASEMENT ENZIGURIS! Cover, TWO!! Storm survives and Skye grows frustrated. Saraya & Soho are also frustrated, they rally for Storm but the fans rally for Skye. Saraya tells the fans to shut up! Skye runs, hops on, but Storm shrugs her off! Skye SUPERKICKS! Skye runs, into a THESZ PRESS! Storm rains down fists, then she snarls as she stands back up. Storm gets the legs, but Skye kicks her away!
Skye runs in, only for Storm to spin her around! Storm uses the ropes, TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!! Skye survives and fans fire up! Saraya is furious but the ref says the count was fair. Skye goes to a corner but Storm says kiss this. SWEET HIP- NO, Skye picks the ankle! Skye KNEES Storm, runs, avoids Soho’s swipe, and she hits CODE BLUE!! But Soho is still distracting the ref!! Skye would’ve had this if not for Soho! Skye gets in Soho’s face, swings at her, but Storm runs in! Skye sends Storm into Soho, rolls and bridges, TWO!!! Storm stands, into a BOOT! Skye full nelsons, Storm arm-drags free to SHOTGUN Skye down!
Saraya says Storm has this now! Storm says kiss this, and here comes SWEET HIP MUSIC!! GERMAN SUPLEX, and then STORM ZERO!! Cover, Storm wins!
Winner: Toni Storm, by pinfall
The Outcasts with the assist, but now they bring out the spray paint! Fans boo as the Outcast scare off the ref, then surround Skye! But here comes Riho and Willow! Just like last week, Riho has the pipe!! Riho runs the Outcast off and warns them. The Outcasts leave for now, having gotten the win. Will Riho, Willow and Skye start thinking of sticking together from now on?
The AEW medical staff checks on Stu Grayson.
They’re working on his left arm, where did they feel it pop? But then Moxley sneaks up to say, “It’s just business.” And he puts on the SLEEPER!! Claudio & Yuta TOSS the medics aside! Stu is all alone as Moxley chokes him out, then SMACKS him off a trunk! The BCC give Stu the icepack back then leave, what will Hangman & the Dark Order have to say about this?
Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo!
The AAA Mega Championship match that was meant to happen in December of 2021 was denied because of injury and misfortune. But now we are all fortunate enough to have this match happen here! “HE was the longest reigning Mega Champion at 765 days, 292 days more than El Hijo del Vikingo. HE never lost that title. HE is undefeated in singles matches in Mexico and also on Dynamite. Many people say HE is also undefeated at life. HE is often complimented on his accomplishments, matches, chiseled physique and hair, yet he is personally proud of his win-loss record in Independence, Missouri, which is better than his record of 1-1 in… NOOOORTH CAROLINA~!
“He arrives tonight after his 833 mile journey from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Weighing 224 pounds, HE is…! KENNY! OOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEGAAAAAA~!” The fans go wild for the Cleaner, the Best Bout Machine, and Don Callis’ God of Pro-Wrestling, but will Omega prove he is better than the Mega Champion?
But as Omega makes his way down the ramp, El Hijo del Vikingo DIVES onto him! Fans fire up, EHDV throws off his cape, then he runs again, to FLY! Direct hit again and Independence is thunderous! EHDV puts Omega in the ring, springboards and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Omega ends up in a corner, EHDV runs in to clothesline! EHDV fires off forearms, but Omega turns it around to fire them back! The ref wants them to let off, this isn’t a match yet! Omega rains down fists, lets off, and now the bell rings! Fans are thunderous as Omega stomps EHDV down. Omega drags EHDV up, whips him corner to corner, but EHDV slips out to the apron!
Omega hits buckles, then EHDV ENZIGURIS! And GAMANGIRIS! EHDV climbs up, and jumps to IMPOLODER DRAGONRANA! Omega goes flying, then staggers up into the SCREW HIGH KICK! Omega’s on the ropes, EHDV runs to DOUBLE KNEE him through the ropes! Omega falls to the floor, EHDV refreshes the count, and fans say “This is Awesome!” EHDV SHOOTING STAR PRESSES to the floor! A bit double-edged, but fans lose their minds! Callis protests, the ring count climbs, but EHDV puts Omega in the ring. EHDV aims, slingshots and then springboards to 450 SPLASH! Cover, TWO!!
Omega goes to a corner, EHDV runs in to GAMANGIRI again! Omega staggers away, EHDV pursues but Omega CHOPS! And CHOPS again! EHDV falls over but Omega stalks him to a corner. Omega brings EHDV up to JAB! And JAB! fans rally and duel, Omega drags EHDV up to whip. Omega scoops EHDV for a tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega drags EHDV back up fast, to fisherman BUSTER! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough and Omega is frustrated but the fans are loving this. Omega stalks EHDV to the ropes, scrapes him to the apron, and then Omega goes out to follow EHDV.
Omega CLUBS EHDV, and whips him hard into barriers! EHDV falls in a heap, but Omega goes looking under the ring. Omega brings out a TABLE! Fans fire up for that, and Omega stands that table up near the ring. The ref reprimands, this isn’t a Tables match or anything like that. But fans chant, “WE WANT TABLES!” as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Omega drags EHDV up, puts him in the ring, and Omega storms up to scoop and BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega clamps on with an armlock and chinbar, but he also fishhooks EHDV’s face! The ref reprimands, Omega lets off, but then pulls on EHDV’s hair! The ref counts but Omega lets off at 4. Omega looms over EHDV, stomps him, stomps him more, then springboard stomps! Omega drags EHDV around to KNEE him in the side! And again! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough but Omega just snarls. Omega drags EHDV up to CHOP him back down! Omega drags EHDV up again to CLUB him back down!
Omega drags EHDV up at the ropes, ROCKS him with a right hand, then ROCKS him again! And again! And again! The ref reprimands and counts, Omega lets off, but then Omega CHOKES EHDV with his foot! Dynamite returns, the fans boo and the ref counts, but Omega lets off at 4 again. Omega ROCKS EHDV again, JABS him, then whips him to ropes. EHDV ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA! Omega goes to the apron, fans fire up as EHDV pursues! EHDV ROCKS Omega, but Omega tomahawk chops back! EHDV CHOPS, but Omega CHOPS! EHDV CHOPS back, so Omega BOOTS him! Omega runs in, goes up, and he MONKEY FLIPS EHDV on the apron!
EHDV falls to the floor while fans lose minds over how tight that one was. Omega drags EHDV up to the apron, and he grins as he looks at the table he set up. Omega drags EHDV up, the ref reprimands but Omega full nelsons! EHDV slips free to GAMANGIRI again! EHDV goes up top, balances on the post, and FLYING DRAGONRANAS!! Fans are thunderous as Omega hits the floor! Omega flounders into the ring, EHDV shoves him further in. Fans say “This is Awesome!” as both men go to corners. EHDV runs corner to corner to clothesline! EHDV hoists Omega up top, and GAMANGIRIS yet again!
EHDV climbs up after Omega, fans fire up again as they start to brawl! Omega HEADBUTTS, reels EHDV in, and SUPER POWER- STEINER!!! EHDV reverses just in time, Omega clutches his head! EHDV goes to the ropes, stands from the middle and PHOENIX SPLASHES in!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Omega survives by nanoseconds!! Independence is electric as both men rise up! They hope these two “FIGHT FOREVER!” but it has to end somehow! EHDV throws a forearm, a SOBAT, and then he runs to springboard, into a POWERBOMB!! And then another POWERBOMB! Roll through and V-TRIGGER!! Cover, TWO!!!
Omega is furious as EHDV survives! Omega slashes his throat, drags EHDV up, and he full nelsons for a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Omega snarls, he puts EHDV on the ropes and takes aim. BANG and V-TRIGGER!! But that’s not the end of it! Omega drags EHDV up, deadweight as he is, and Electric Chair Lifts! But EHDV throws down fists! EHDV hops down, UPPERCUTS, then goes up and up to FLYING POISON-RANA!!! Omega tumbles to the apron, and EHDV crawls over to push him onto the table! EHDV builds speed while fans fire up, and he goes up to ESCALARA 630 SENTON through the table!!!!
Independence is volcanic for “A E DUB! A E DUB!” while Callis is freaking out! Both men are down in the wreckage as the ring count starts. EHDV crawls away at 3 of 10, Omega finally stirs at 4. Both men drag themselves up at 6, stand at “OCHO!” And both men slide in at 9! EHDV covers, TWO!!! Omega is still in this and EHDV is beside himself! Fans rally up, both men rise again, and EHDV throws a haymaker! Omega gives it back, they go back and forth, faster and faster! They go forearm for forearm, stand up, and keep throwing shots! EHDV gets the edge, SOBATS, runs, into a V-TRIGGER!!
Omega whips, EHDV rolls up and SUNSET FLIP BOMBS! TWO?!?!? Omega narrowly escapes again and even HE is shocked! But EHDV hurries to a corner and climbs up top! Omega flounders in the drop zone, EHDV 630 SENTONS but FLOPS as Omega moves!! EHDV flounders up, into a V-TRIGGER!!! Omega drags EHDV up, Electric Chair Lifts, ONE WINGED ANGEL!!!! Cover, OMEGA WINS!
Winner: Kenny Omega, by pinfall
This was a dream match the moment it was made, but this became an all-time classic by the end! Tony Schiavone joins Callis and Omega in the ring to say this was an incredible match. Omega is back in singles competition, and that was one for the ages! Omega thanks Schiavone for that. The more time goes by, the more he wonders if he can still do this kind of stuff for the fans. Wait, wait! THE BCC JUMPS OMEGA!! Moxley, Claudio & Yuta all mug Omega, and fans boo while Callis can only shout at the ref to stop this! The BCC stand Omega up so they can throw body shots and haymakers!
Fans continue to boo, but wait! Sirens? An ambulance has returned? For who? Wait, HANGMAN is driving it!! The Cowboy has a 2×4, with nails in it! Fans are going nuts for “COWBOY SH*T!” while the BCC stomp away on Omega. But here comes Hangman, wood in hand! The BCC decide to bail! Callis checks on Omega but the damage has been done. Hangman wants Moxley to get his ass back in here, but he stays back. Callis tries to calm Hangman down, but he almost gets 2×4 to the face! Callis keeps pulling at Hangman’s arm to hold him back, but Hangman shakes free and Callis falls right down! Omega comes to, and misunderstands why Callis is down!
Callis blames Hangman but Hangman says he didn’t do anything to Don! Omega and Hangman argue, Callis cowers behind Omega, and Omega takes Callis’ side. Fans boo, but is this just Callis keeping Omega all to himself?
A great episode of Dynamite, but it already feels like they’re gonna keep things going until Double or Nothing, no big thing for April. We got a great promo out of the Four Young Pillars, and MJF is making the other three run the #1 contender race like he did Bryan Danielson from now until, I dunno, probably May 3rd so that May can focus on building MJF VS his challenger. Hard to say who it’ll be, but Darby’s off to a good start with that great Six Man Tag. Darby, Sting and Cassidy made an eclectic but great combination, especially with Sting borrowing some Freshly Squeezed tactics. And Cassidy’s International Championship card is open to just about anyone at this point.
Really good tag title match, but I should’ve figured shenanigans would help The Gunns retain. The Kingdom and Top Flight are solidly ROH Tag title contenders with #ReachForTheSky needing teams. Plus, The Gunns’ real story is with FTR, who came back to have a really good promo with them. Gunns VS FTR, Titles VS AEW contracts could honestly go either way. There’s a lot of talk out there of FTR going back to WWE since it’s under HHH right now, so this move could be how FTR exits AEW, but this could also be what guarantees FTR staying. Either way, this is going to be some really big stuff for the titles.
Good promo from Jade and her group, and you do have to appreciate Sterling’s gimmick of bringing about frivolous lawsuits on behalf of people to poke fun at wrestling tropes. The security guards finally got justice, even though they also got crushed by Wardlow, and now finishers that are exactly the same but with different names are being questioned. Pretty sure Leila loses the match and Taya tears up that document, though. Then it’ll be about who hits the chicken wing facebuster first to win that title. Jade has done an amazing job being an undefeated inaugural TBS Champion, but now is the time to move on to someone else so Jade can move on to the top title.
Great segment out of Hook, Stokely and The Firm. Great show from Stokely with trying to weasel out of this, then trying to run away from this, but of course he gets thrown around. Awesome use of spare guard railing, though. I figured Hook VS Ethan was going to be how this wraps up, can’t wait to see how that goes. And I appreciate Starks getting a little meta on the bad pacing of feuds. Starks VS Juice for Rampage, if it happens, will be great stuff, and maybe shenanigans helps Juice win to keep this going. Though, I feel like Starks and Juice could each be doing something better than spinning their wheels with each other. Give me Starks VS Hobbs and Orange VS Juice for those respective titles.
Speaking of which, only the second QTV segment and I’m just done with it. But they did point out the weird logic of Penta not being out there with Fenix last week. Penta VS Hobbs will probably go the same as Fenix VS Hobbs did, and Wardlow will come back for revenge. Also, another wrestling trope that needs poking at: Solo confessed to illegal activities but he won’t get investigated or arrested because it’s wrestling. If Sterling were a Face lawyer, he’d be right on Solo’s ass. But maybe Wardlow beats the crap out of Solo as his punishment, then he gets his shot at Hobbs at Double or Nothing to put this story to rest.
Great promo from Cole and Garcia, and I appreciate they had Garcia have that slip of the tongue. Garcia is of course enjoying the fun side of being a sports entertainer, showing off his personality and just doing whatever shenanigans he wants, but he also clearly enjoys the pro-wrestling stuff of just fighting. Garcia VS Cole is going to be awesome stuff, but Garcia and the JAS also have their story with the House of Black so who knows how the finish goes. Great match out of Storm VS Skye, and Skye looked great even in defeat. Another inconsistency in wrestling logic: Riho & Willow should’ve been ringside to start because they know The Outcasts will be up to no good. But I suppose that does give Riho & Willow their moment of heroism in running the Outcasts off.
I bring up that inconsistency in logic because that match was after Moxley VS Grayson, where both men had their allies ringside. The men can think to bring their boys but the women’s division can’t think to bring their friends along, when we’ve also always seen Britt have Rebel and/or Hayter and vice-versa? Anyway, great stuff out of Moxley VS Grayson, and Grayson also looked awesome even in defeat. The BCC apparently went after everyone Hangman considers a friend, as the Bucks were taken out off-camera by them, and then the BCC jump Grayson.
And then, for being a non-title TV main event, Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo went above and beyond anything I would’ve expected. There were some scary moments, like that Super Steiner counter to the powerbomb. But then again, it wouldn’t feel like an AAA match if there wasn’t some risk like that. BCC jumping Omega after he wins was a good way to keep the Elite reunion story going, but now there’s the new wrinkle of Don Callis wanting Omega to stay a singles star. To be fair, this is very much like the story of Callis, Omega and The Elite when AEW first got started. Callis wants Omega to return to that Omega, and he throws Hangman under the bus.
Another pro-wrestling logic thing is that no one watches the show back when it’s done, unless it helps the story. And I would hope Omega does that here to see what really happened as opposed to just trusting Callis and distrusting Omega. Or if not Omega, the Bucks can. The Bucks will have seen it on TV at the hospital (kayfabe) and The Bucks will tell Omega that Hangman didn’t hit Callis. Callis is also trying to recruit Konosuke, so it’d be great if Callis only comes out of this with one client. If Omega realizes not to trust Callis over The Elite, then Callis and Konosuke can stick together. If Omega still keeps Callis around, Konosuke can reject Callis to stay his own man.
My Score: 8.9/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (3/21/23)
Toni Storm gets Dark!
AEW Dark is on #ToniTime!
The Outcasts have drawn a line in the AEW Women’s Division, and are daring everyone else to cross it! Will Toni Storm strike down another “entitled rookie?”
- Juice Robinson VS Leon Ruffin; Juice wins.
- Kiera Hogan VS Leila Grey; Leila wins.
- The Iron Savages VS The Wingmen; The Iron Savages win.
- The Renegades VS Avery Breaux & Mafiosa; The Renegades win.
- Toni Storm VS Billie Starkz; Storm wins.
Another surprisingly short line-up for Dark, with a couple matches that could go either way. The Iron Savages, formerly Bear Country, and the Wingmen will be a good one, but I’m leaning towards Bronson & Boulder winning that. Kiera Hogan VS Leila Grey, former Baddie taking on Jade’s last sidekick standing, could also go either way, but I’m leaning towards Kiera. But it’ll be good to see Robyn & Charlette Renegade get a win here to build that unofficial Women’s Tag Division AEW has.
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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