The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 14
It seems like a dream but it isn’t! The first HPW Triforce Anniversary has come! Who will be Triforce Champion? Who will follow in Link’s footsteps and win the whole tournament?
- HPW Death Mountain Championship: Gold Lynel VS Groose; Lynel wins and retains the title.
- HPW Termina Championship Fatal 4 Way #1 Contender’s Match: Osphala VS Doomknocker VS Rosso VS Teba; Osphala wins and will challenge for the title.
- HPW Trios Championships: Forged By Violence VS uWo; The uWo wins and are the new HPW Trios Champions.
- HPW Triforce Championship: Link VS Zelda; Link wins and retains the title.
- Second Triforce Tournament Finals Triple Threat: Yuga VS Hilda VS Ravio; Hilda wins and will challenge for the HPW Triforce Championship.
PLAY BY PLAY
HPW and HXS TV set the scene!
The Second Triforce Tournament has reached its conclusion! And in both shocking and even controversial fashion, three unlikely finalists have emerged! The Artist, Yuga, managed to craft masterful ways around gigantic opponents, from Darbus to Hinox to even Ganondorf, and is the second Bracket of Power winner! Her Grace, Hilda, took advantage of weaknesses and distractions to snatch victory from defeat against Master Kohga, Osphala and Cia! She goes from debut to being the second Bracket of Wisdom winner! And #Murusagi, Ravio the Purple Rabbit, gave King Bulblin the slip, then slid into the bracket finals when ReDead and Volga canceled each other out! Ghirahim tried to cut him down but Ravio skirted past him to be here today as the second Bracket of Courage winner! But which of these tricksters will take the Triforce Tournament title opportunity for their own?
Speaking of that title, the Triforce Championship is on the line! One year ago today, it was a Triple Threat that crowned the inaugural champion, Link of Kakariko! Though he lost it along the way, he has it back now, and for the first time ever, goes 1v1 with the Princess of Hyrule! Will Zelda be a historic HPW Double Champion? Will Link keep from being a two-time loser of this title? This and the fates of other titles are all going to be determined! The Triforce Anniversary in Central Hyrule starts now!
HPW Death Mountain Championship: Gold Lynel VS ???
The One True Monster made a demand for competition, and he’s getting what he wants! But management didn’t formally announce anything, only promising that his challenger would be a former champion in their own right! And now, we all learn together who HPW chose! It’s… GROOSE! The winner of last year’s Death Mountain Battle Royal, and a former Death Mountain Champion, is here to see if he can do it all over again!
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and the Skyloft Stud takes on a monstrous challenge to start off the night!
Fans rally up as Groose carefully approaches Lynel. Lynel puts his dukes up, Groose gives some testing jabs, but then Lynel swings big! Groose manages to bob ‘n’ weave, but then Lynel ROCKS him with a right! Lynel whips Groose, scoops him and gets Groose up on his shoulder. Groose slips off before Lynel can lawn dart him, and Groose throws body shots! Lynel shoves Groose away with a pie face but Groose comes back to throw more body shots! Lynel CLUBS Groose, hoists him up again and HEADBUTTS him while he’s in the air! Groose staggers, Lynel BOOTS him into a corner, and then Lynel runs in to corner splash! Fans boo as Lynel lets Groose flop out to the floor!
The ref checks on Groose, and he’s okay to continue. A ring count starts, but Lynel goes out to fetch Groose. Lynel picks Groose up and TOSSES him through the ropes! Lynel gets back in the ring, then looms over Groose. Groose gets up, Lynel slaps him around, and Groose gets mad. Fans rally behind Groose, and Groose throws heavier body shots! Lynel starts to feel it, but he eggs Groose on! Groose throws more hands, and he haymakers Lynel on the chin! Lynel staggers a couple steps, and he nods! He’s liking this! Lynel eggs Groose on more and Groose JABS! Fans chant “GROOSE!” with each JAB! “GROOSE! GROOSE! GROOSE!” Groose powers up his fist, but Lynel DECKS him first!
Fans lose their minds as Lynel stands over Groose again. Groose shakes out the cobwebs as he slowly gets up, and Lynel spins him around, only to get the RIGHT HAND OF THE GODDESS!! Fans are going nuts as Lynel staggers to ropes! Groose fires up and he aims another punch! Groose swings but Lynel avoids the Right Hand of the Goddess, and Lynel BLINDSIDE LARIATS Groose! Lynel stalks Groose as he stumbles and staggers, then shoves him to ropes! Groose rebounds, Lynel pops him up and hits a SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, Lynel wins!
Winner: Gold Lynel, by pinfall (still HPW Death Mountain Championship)
The Skyloft Stud has been thrown off Death Mountain! Gold Lynel still has the gold, but will his hunger for competition only grow stronger?
HPW Termina Championship Fatal 4 Way #1 Contender’s Match: Osphala VS Doomknocker VS Rosso VS Teba!
Someone in, someone out, someone old and someone new! Those were the conditions HPW put on themselves because of Igos du Ikana’s own words. The Ruler of Ruin awaits a challenger, but will he meet the Gleaming Yellow Light, the Doom Bringer’s leader, the breaker of boulders, or the promising young fledgling?
The bell rings, fans rally, and the four contenders watch each other very closely. Doomknocker then makes the first move and he ROCKS Teba with a forearm! Knocker then kicks Osphala and fires off forearms on Rosso! Rosso tanks the forearms and shoves Knocker, to then run him over! Rosso stomps Knocker, drags him up, and whips him to ropes, only for Knocker to hold ropes. Knocker baits Rosso in, dumps him out, Teba runs in and FLIES over Knocker to take Rosso down! Osphala kicks Knocker and clubs him to a corner. Teba returns to club Osphala, but Osphala ROCKS Teba with a forearm. Knocker kicks Osphala in the back of his leg then shoves him out of the way to go after Teba!
Teba and Knocker brawl, Knocker gets the edge and throws forearms from all sides. Knocker CHOPS Teba against ropes, whips him, but Teba hurdles over Knocker’s back drop! Teba springboards to back elbow Knocker down! Cover, TWO! Teba stomps Knocker, Rosso returns and he runs Teba over! Rosso drags Knocker up, and suplexes him at Teba, but Teba puts his knees up! Knocker writhes from getting knees to the back, Teba goes after him but Rosso drags Teba away by a leg. Teba kicks at Rosso, Osphala stomps Knocker out of the ring, and Osphala heads over to Rosso and Teba. Rossa catapults Teba at Osphala, and Teba sunset flips! Cover, TWO!
Rosso reels Osphala in but Osphala fights off the lift. Teba runs in as Osphala switches, so Teba shotgun dropkicks Rosso! Osphala uses that to O’Conner roll Rosso! TWO, Teba arm-drags Osphala, then Teba leaping elbow drops onto Rosso! Knocker returns and runs in to KNEE Teba down! Teba rolls out of the ring so Knocker hammers Rosso instead. Knocker drags Rosso up, CHOPS him to a corner, and then climbs up. Fans boo as Knocker rains down fists. Rosso stops Knocker before 10 to carry him with a choke grip! Knocker fights free, ROCKS Rosso with an uppercut, then CHOPS him! Rosso seethes as he stands up tall again, and he grabs Knocker to HEADBUTT him down!
Osphala returns as he runs in and headscissors Rosso into a corner! Osphala runs in, TORNADO- NO! Rosso denies the DDT as he tosses Osphala away! Osphala kips up, goes Matrix to avoid Rosso’s clothesline, and kips back up to hit a neckbreaker! Cover, ONE!! TEBA FROG SPLASHES ROSSO OUTTA NOWHERE! Cover, but Osphala breaks it! Osphala CHOPS Teba, KICKS him in a leg, and ROLLING ELBOWS him against ropes! Osphala WRINGS Teba out, hooks the arm and La Magistrols! TWO, Knocker runs in but both Teba and Osphala get clear and the KNEE hits back Rosso down! Teba hits Knocker with a THROWBACK STUNNER, Osphala GERMAN SUPLEXES Knocker!
Osphala has a bridging cover, but Teba adds his jackknife cover! Who’ll get this win?! Rosso breaks it all up! Rosso keeps things from being very complicated, and he whips Teba to ropes. Rosso pops Teba up but Teba turns that into a wheelbarrow, that then becomes an arm-drag! Teba holds onto that arm, drops a leg on it, then rolls Rosso around into a YES LOCK! Rosso endures as Teba pulls back on the modified crossface, but Knocker stomps the hold apart! Knocker stomps Teba out of the ring, follows him out, and RAMS him into railing! Knocker DECKS Teba, goes back to the ring, but Rosso BLASTS him off the apron and into the railing!
Fans are fired up as Rosso and Osphala are left in the ring. Rosso eggs Osphala on as the two approach. Osphala shoots in to get a leg but Rosso stays up. Rosso throws Osphala off, but Osphala is right back up to rush back in. Rosso blocks the takedown again, CLUBS Osphala, then gut wrenches him up. Osphala fights free and slips off and goes to backslide! Rosso blocks that, turns it into a Gory Especial, and then hits a GORY BOMB! Cover, TWO! Rosso fires up the fans with “OI! OI! OI!” and he drags Osphala up. Rosso pump handles and fireman’s carries but Osphala fights free! Osphala jumps up to get Rosso for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally while Osphala grows frustrated.
Osphala grabs a leg and gets a standing toehold. Rosso kicks with his free leg but Osphala yanks the leg he has. Osphala stomps the leg again and again, YANKS on the leg again, then hits a GROUND DRAGON SCREW! Rosso clutches the knee, but Osphala splashes down on it! Osphala pulls on the leg with a toehold, Rosso grabs at Osphala’s face, but Osphala shakes that off. Osphala punches Rosso’s knee again and again, pulls way back on the leg, but Rosso reaches for ropes. Rosso back strokes to drag himself over, but Osphala lets off the toehold to drag Rosso away, and then puts Rosso’s leg between his legs for a KNEE JAMMER!
Osphala stomps Rosso’s leg more but Teba returns with a tightrope walk and springboard missile dropkick! Direct hit to Osphala and he tumbles out of the ring! Teba goes after Rosso’s leg, but Rosso resists being turned over. Rosso boots Teba away to ropes, Teba rebounds and sunset flips! Cover, but Knocker drags Teba up with a dragon sleeper! Teba flails, slips out and wrenches the arm but Knocker HEADBUTTS him! Knocker reels Teba in to a facelock, Rosso hobbles over but Knocker catches him, COMPLETE SHOT DDT COMBO! Cover on Teba, TWO! Cover on Rosso, TWO! Knocker grows frustrated but he sees Osphala get on the apron, so he runs and BOOTS him down!
Knocker turns around and brings Teba up but Teba ENZIGURIS! Knocker staggers, Teba chicken wings him and hits a TIGER SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! Teba can’t believe how close he was but fans fire up! Teba builds power as Knocker sits up, but Knocker ducks the buzzsaw, only for Teba to come back around and basement enziguri! Teba runs to the ropes and springboards for a leg drop to the back of Knocker’s head! Teba turns Knocker over, and runs to the ropes again, only for Rosso to POUNCE him out of the ring and onto Osphala! Rosso runs and runs and drops a SPLASH onto Knocker! Cover, TWO! Knocker survives but Rosso fires up!
Rosso drags Knocker up, pump handles and fireman’s carries, but Knocker resists the lift with elbows. Knocker kicks Rosso’s leg out, throws chops over and over into Rosso’s neck and shoulders, then throws Kowata Kicks. Knocker runs, but Rosso CLOBBERS him! Rosso’s leg bothers him after putting all that into the lariat! Rosso crawls over to cover, but TEBA flies in outta nowhere! His splash breaks up the pin! Teba sits Rosso up for a BASEMENT DDT! But Osphala PENALTY KICKS Teba in the back! Osphala drags Teba up, crisscrosses the arms and reels him in for the suplex, SAND ROD onto Rosso!! Osphala covers Teba, Osphala wins!!
Winner: Osphala, by pinfall (NEW #1 contender to the HPW Termina Championship)
The Gleaming Yellow Light is again challenging Igos du Ikana for this title! Controversy defeated him last time, will Osphala have a way around that this time?
HPW Trios Championships: Forged By Violence VS uWo!
“Hollywood” ReDead turned his back on the Dark Forces, joined the wrestling reapers, Death Sword and Gomess, and is now part of a deadly trio! But Iron Knuckle and the Dark Nuts are just as dangerous! Both teams know how to fight like hell, but who makes it through hell to have the gold?
The introductions are made, the titles are raised, and the trios sort out. Iron Knuckle starts against Gomess and this battle of danger and violence begins!
Fans cheer for “Forged By Violence! F B V!” as Knuckle and Gomess circle. The two approach, tie up, are in a deadlock, and then break. They circle, tie up again, are in another deadlock, and they break again. Knuckle fires up and eggs Gomess on, and they tie up again, and Knuckle throws Gomess down! Knuckle stares down at Gomess, then runs. Gomess stays low, then hurdles over, then CHOPS Knuckle as he returns! Gomess snapmares Knuckle, KICKS him in the back, then clamps on with a chinlock! Gomess grinds Knuckle down but fans rally up as Knuckle endures. Knuckle fights up, but Gomess throws him down by his head!
Gomess stomps Knuckle, drags him over to the uWo corner, and tags in Death Sword. Death Sword stomps Knuckle, sits him up, and then just stomps him back down. Death Sword drags Knuckle around, drops an elbow, then a leg, then a headbutt! Cover, TWO! Knuckle reaches for his corner but Death Sword keeps him away with a whip to the uWo corner. Death Sword runs in and hits a corner splash! Tag to Gomess, the reapers mug Knuckle, then bring him up to double whip him back into the corner! Tag to ReDead and Death Sword whips Knuckle to ropes. Death Sword atomic drops Knuckle, ReDead runs and Death Sword feeds Knuckle to the SPEAR!
ReDead stands on Knuckle while flexing and shouting, “AAAH’M THA MAAAN~!” It counts as a cover, but Red Nut gets in to push ReDead off it! ReDead glares at Red Nut and the two talk trash but the ref has Red Nut stand down. ReDead drags Knuckle up but Knuckle throws body shots. ReDead CLUBS Knuckle down, then pushes him to the uWo corner. ReDead digs his boots into Knuckle, the ref reprimands and counts, but ReDead tags in Gomess. Gomess stomps Knuckle, digs his boots in, then lets off at 4. Gomess drags Knuckle up, CHOPS him against ropes, but Knuckle throws forearms! Knuckle spins but into throat chops!
The ref reprimands and fans boo but Gomess whips Knuckle back into the uWo corner! Gomess RAMS into Knuckle, digs his shoulder in, and Death Sword tags in. Death Sword taunts the Dark Nuts then runs in to forearm smash Knuckle! Gomess exits, Death Sword brings Knuckle around, and he makes sure to stare the Dark Nuts down as he wraps Knuckle up in a sleeper hold! Fans rally as Knuckle endures and reaches for his team, but Death Sword squeezes tight. Knuckle starts to fade! The Dark Nuts want to get in but the ref tells them to stay out! The ref checks on Knuckle, Knuckle gets a second wind, and he JAWBREAKERS free!
Death Sword staggers back while Knuckle gasps and catches his breath. Gomess tags in, runs past Knuckle to BLAST Red Nut off the apron! Gomess sucker punches Blue Nut, too, then gets Knuckle with a facelock! Knuckle powers up and RAMS Gomess into the FBV corner, but he doesn’t have anyone to tag in! Knuckle stomps Gomess and calls for the Nuts but Gomess stomps Knuckle’s foot! Gomess headlocks and brings Knuckle away from his corner but Knuckle pushes him away. Knuckle ends up back in the FBV corner, Gomess runs back in, but Knuckle sends him into the buckles! Knuckle hits a BIG back suplex! Blue Nut returns and gets the hot tag!
Blue Nut runs Gomess over and he runs at the uWo corner! Death Sword and ReDead get clear, but Blue Nut goes back to run Gomess over again! Death Sword and ReDead rush in, but Red Nut also gets in, and the Dark Nuts run uWo over together! Fans fire up with the Dark Nuts, and they drag Gomess up as the others bail out. Blue Nut fireman’s carries Gomess, coordinates with Red Nut, and they hit the TKO NUT BUSTER!! Cover, Red Nut intercepts ReDead as he tries to get in, but he can’t stop Death Sword! Death Sword breaks the cover, drags Blue Nut up and then shoves him into Red Nut! ReDead drags Red Nut out and clubs away on him!
Death Sword and Gomess hammer away on Blue Nut, then double whip him. They double elbow Blue Nut down, Death Sword hits a leg drop while Gomess hits a STANDING SHOOTING STAR! Gomess covers, TWO! Gomess keeps Blue Nut down with a chinlock while Death Sword goes out and DECKS Iron Knuckle! The ref reprimands the uWo and they stop to go back to their corner. Gomess drags Blue Nut that way, tags in ReDead, and Gomess chicken wings Blue Nut so ReDead can throw body shots. ReDead headbutts Blue Nut, drags him with a facelock, and suplexes him up. ReDead holds Blue Nut up for a count of 10 before slamming him down! Cover, TWO!
ReDead stomps Blue Nut, drags him back to the corner and digs his boots in! The ref reprimands and counts but Death Sword tags in. Death Sword tags Gomess then drags Blue Nut by his legs. Gomess stays on the apron, Death Sword catapults Blue Nut at him, and Gomess ROCKS Blue Nut with a forearm! Blue Nut falls back onto Death Sword’s knees, then Gomess slingshots to ELBOW DROP Blue Nut across those knees! Cover, TWO!! Blue Nut is still in this and so are the champions! Gomess stomps Blue Nut, tags Death Sword back in, and they double dead lift Blue Nut up for a POWERBOMB NECKBREAKER COMBO! Cover, but Red Nut barrels in to break it!
ReDead storms in and stomps Red Nut. Knuckle runs in and tackles ReDead out! The ref tells Red Nut and Gomess to get out, they’re not legal! Death Sword goes to throw Red Nut out but Red Nut throws him out! Red Nut turns around into Gomess’ FLAT LINER! Gomess storms over to Blue Nut, who catches him for a cradle! TWO!! Gomess CHOPS Blue Nut, but Blue Nut just fires up! Blue Nut ROCKS Gomess with a right, gut wrench suplexes him, then runs to SLIDING LARIAT! Cover, TWO!! Fans fire up again as Blue Nut aims from a corner. ReDead scrambles away from Knuckle and into the ring!
The ref is busy with ReDead now, and Blue Nut is distracted, Death Sword trips him up! Death Sword POSTS Blue Nut by, well, his nuts! Knuckle chases after ReDead again, but Gomess is there to hit him with a FLAT LINER! The uWo regroups at their corner, ReDead tags in but Death Sword also gets in. Death Sword and Gomess coordinate, and they STEAL MAGIC KILLER!! ReDead DROPS THE LEG, BROTHER!! Cover, the uWo WINS!!!
Winners: The uWo, by pinfall (NEW HPW Trios Champions)
There was so much chaos at the end, and in the end, Forged By Violence were outmaneuvered! ReDead shouts, “Revenge is a bitch, ain’t it?!” in reference to when FBV defeated the Dark Forces. ReDead and the reapers raise up the Trios titles, but wait, the Ikana Royal Family’s Stal-Kid, Sir Hurr & Sir Durr are coming down the ramp! Stal-Kid has a mic, and he says, “Congrats to the new champions! The UnderWorld Order reign supreme!” Not everyone applauds that.
But something seems really weird to Stal-Kid. What is this? Only the uWo’s third match as a team? When the Ikana Royal Family hasn’t even been given an in-ring debut? Is that fair? Does HPW not know how to set up a Trios Division? But hey, if uWo and HPW wanted to, they could give Stal-Kid, Hurr & Durr a big opportunity! More fans cheer that than they did for the uWo being champions. But wait, another trio is entering? It’s the Desert Flowers! Riju rides on Bularia’s shoulders and has a mic, but before she even gets a chance to say anything, the Three Masters come out!
Kohga, Garo and Stalfos argue with the Desert Flowers, and the Ikana Royal Family get mad at all of them for barging in! The uWo have no idea what to make of this, but then they’re attacked from behind! The DOOM BRINGERS came in from the crowd side!! While Darkhammer and Gooma stomp and club Death Sword and Gomess, Doom Knocker gets a mic and shouts, “What’re you morons doing on the stage? Y’all should’ve been going after these guys like we are!” Knocker then stomps ReDead and even hammers him with the mic! FBV tries to get back in but the IRF attack them! It’s a huge brawl of Trios!! Referees and other officials run out to stop this but that’s easier said than done!
ReDead staggers up, Stal-Kid hotshots him back! Knocker BACK HANDS ReDead down, but then Stal-Kid springboards in to CROSSBODY Knocker! Knuckle gets in and gets Stal-Kid with a DISCUS! Hurr & Durr mug Knuckle, Kohga and Garo each ENZIGURI them! But then Bularia helps give Riju a boost to missile dropkick Kohga, and Aveil springboard missile dropkicks Garo! Bularia gets in to collide with Knuckle! Fans fire up seeing those two stare down, but then Death Sword and Gomess both sit up! Everyone gets a bit spooked by that, but Stalfos storms in now! Stalfos brawls with Death Sword, Knuckle is after Gomess and Bularia is after ReDead! Hammer and Gooma tackle them all out of the ring!
Bularia whips ReDead, he holds ropes, but Bularia runs and hip attacks him out! Kohga and Garo DOUBLE DROPKICK Bularia out! But they turn around, and the Dark Nuts clothesline them both out of the ring! But then Death Sword and Gomess drag them out to join the rest! It’s a major cluster out there, and Riju and Aveil climb adjacent corners! Aveil ARIHARA MOONSAULTS and Riju FLYING ELBOW DROPS, and the whole group goes down!! Fans are losing their minds, but Knocker is all alone in the ring, laughing at everyone else! The Doom Bringers stir up trouble, but will they regret ruining the uWo’s moment?
HPW Triforce Championship: Link VS Zelda!
The original Bracket of Courage winner and the original Bracket of Wisdom winner have had such storied journeys this last year, and are both holding belts going into this battle! The Hero of Hyrule, the Princess of Hyrule, but only one can be THE Champion of Hyrule!
Zelda has the original Sheik gear, hearkening back to last year! But Link keeps his Hero of Old gear, just adding some gold highlights to the Titan’s Mitt and Pegasus Boots. The introductions are made, the top title is raised, and a historic battle begins!
Fans are already fired up as the two stare down. The two slowly start to circle, they approach, and they feel out the grapple. They end up with knuckle locks, but Zelda wrenches one to get around behind Link for a hammerlock, then shifts to a headlock. She switches sides, Link counters with a back suplex but Zelda lands on her feet. Zelda hops up onto Link but Link ducks down to avoid the Poison-Rana! Link waistlocks but Zelda blocks the lift. Zelda slaps Link’s hands to break free, then PELES, but Link blocks it! Link rolls Zelda by the leg, then body scissors to sunset flip, TWO! Fans cheer and duel, “Let’s Go, Zelda!” “Let’s Go, Link!” as the two stand off and reset.
Link and Zelda again circle and feel out the grapple. They tie up collar ‘n’ elbow this time, are in a deadlock for a moment but Link uses leverage to push Zelda to ropes. Referee Sahasrahla calls for the ropebreak and counts, and Link lets off clean at 2. Fans cheer as Link and Zelda reset again. They circle, feel out another grapple, but then Zelda shoots in for a leg. Link pries Zelda off with a gut wrench, drops her down, then shifts to go for the Ether Medallion Chancery! Zelda turns over to slip free, then clamps onto Link’s arm. Zelda digs her elbow into Link’s shoulder, but he rolls, kips up, whips Zelda to ropes, but she holds ropes to avoid the superkick!
Zelda runs back in to tilt-o-whirl headscissor Link but he rolls to his feet. Zelda kicks, Link block it, he ducks the enziguri but she comes back with a mule kick! Link ends up in a corner, Zelda runs in and double knees! Link sits down, Zelda runs corner to corner, to basement dropkick! Zelda drags Link but his wrists, LIGHT A- NO! Link narrowly avoids the knee and he rolls Zelda up! TWO, and the two stare down. Perhaps Link forgot Zelda knows that move, too. They reset, tie up, and Link headlocks. Zelda powers out, Link swings but Zelda dodges the clothesline. Zelda comes back, tilt-o-whirls again, but Link blocks the DDT, brings Zelda back up and tosses her away!
Zelda drop toeholds Link, floats and rolls Link to a ghost pin, TWO! Zelda keeps on Link with another armlock, and she adds a chinbar. Link endures and fans rally up, he pries at the chinbar but Zelda gets that arm and pulls it back. Zelda digs her knee into Link’s back as she has him in the motorcycle stretch. Link endures again and reaches around with a leg. Link scoots around, Zelda pulls back harder, but Link gets the ropebreak. Zelda lets go fast to KICK Link in the back! Link scowls but she KICKS him in the back again. Link gets up and stares Zelda down. Zelda kicks again, Link blocks it, and uses it to get her into a fireman’s carry! BOMBOS-
NO! Zelda handsprings out of Bombos Medallion! Zelda mule kicks, hops back to get on Link’s shoulders and POISON-RANAS! Cover, TWO! Link rolls out of the ring but Zelda follows. Zelda shoves Link into steel steps! Link clutches a leg as he staggers, and Zelda hops up again! Link grabs the ropes to deny the Poison-Rana! Zelda stands up and Link SUPERKICKS her! Zelda falls back onto commentary! Sahasrahla’s ring count is starting but Link gets in. Link takes a moment to catch his breath and get his legs moving before he goes out to fetch Zelda. Zelda BOOTS Link into the apron! Zelda then stands on the announce desk and leaps for a FLYING RANA!
Link staggers up and over to barriers, and Zelda runs in to SHINING WIZARD against the barriers! Zelda brings Link around to put him in the ring then covers, TWO! Fans fire up and Zelda keeps her cool. She brings Link back up, wrenches the arm, hits an elbow breaker, and drags Link down with a double wristlock! Link endures, fans rally, Zelda pulls back harder, but Link moves around. Link reaches out for ropes, but Zelda shifts around to get a better mount. Zelda gets body scissors added on, cranks harder on the hold, but Link powers up! Link carries Zelda and walks his way over to ropes.
Zelda lets go and pushes Link into the ropes, to then O’Conner Roll and bridge! TWO, Zelda basement dropkicks but Link avoids it to STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up, Link keeps his cool and watches Zelda sit up. Link runs, Zelda ducks the Shining Wizard, but the BOOMERANG heel kick hits! Link takes a moment, to hit a STANDING SKY TWISTER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally and duel again while Link gets back up. Link brings Zelda up but Zelda throws a forearm! Zelda eggs Link on, and Link throws a forearm back! Zelda wobbles and Link just stares her down. Zelda throws another forearm, Link throws it back, repeat and the fans fire up!
They go faster and faster, Link gets the edge, then spins but Zelda ROUNDHOUSES! Zelda gets Link’s arm, wrenches and CHOPS, then throws Link with a judo takedown! Zelda drops down to get the ARMBAR! Link clasps hands to fight that off, fights his way up and makes it a cover, ONE and Zelda pulls harder on the ARMBAR! Fans rally as Link endures and moves around. Link reaches and gets a ROPEBREAK with his foot! Sahasrahla counts as Zelda holds on, and she lets go at 4. Link sits up and shakes out his arm, and Zelda basement dropkicks him in the back of the head! Zelda drags Link from the ropes, covers, TWO!
Zelda goes after Link’s arm again but he scrambles around. Link rolls, drags Zelda down with a facelock, and bridges to get the ETHER MEDALLION! Zelda endures a submission now as she claws at the Chancery! She reaches up, grabs at Link’s hair, Sahasrahla reprimands so she stops at 4, but Link holds onto the hold! Zelda grabs at Link’s fingers and pries at them. She bends on back and gets free of the hold! Zelda bends the finger back as far as she can, and also goes after the elbow. Zelda twists Link’s arm, wanting another double wristlock, but Link reaches out with legs and gets a ropebreak. Sahasrahla counts, Zelda twists as much as she can before letting go at 4.
Fans rally as Link shakes his arm out while going to a corner. Zelda goes after him in the corner, Sahasrahla counts but Link turns it around and arm-drags Zelda away. Link jumps up and CROSSBODIES Zelda! Cover, TWO! Link waits for Zelda to get up, reels her into a waistlock, but she blocks the lift. Zelda pries free to wrench the arm, chicken wings and wants the crossface for the Impa Lock! Link reaches for ropes as he tries to stay up. He gets close but Zelda drops back! Link fights off the body scissors and manages to roll back to a cover! TWO and Link is free! Link grabs for Zelda’s wrists, she fights and tries to drag him down into a triangle hold, but Link stays on his feet.
Link dead lifts, but Zelda shifts around for an IRON OCTOROCK! Fans go nuts as they duel! “TAP! TAP! TAP!” “NO! NO! NO!” Link endures, powers out and hip tosses Zelda down! Link body scissors to roll Zelda to a cradle, TWO! Zelda sits on the cover now, TWO! Link rolls to jackknife, TWO as Zelda bridges up! Zelda turns things to a backslide, TWO! Link sunset flips, Zelda rolls through, BASEMENT METEORA! Cover, TWO! Zelda drags Link up, wrenches his arm, then KICKS the arm! Link back kicks Zelda, front kicks her, then SUPERKICKS! Zelda wobbles, Link shakes out the bad arm and reels her in. Link suplexes but Zelda flails and fights it off.
Zelda wrenches again, but Link rolls, spins, and wrangles Zelda down with a keylock. Zelda bridges, kips up, and arm-drags! Link ends up in a corner, Zelda runs in but Link goes up and over! Zelda turns around, Link kicks low and reels her in for a suplex, QUAKE MEDALLION! Cover, TWO!! Zelda survives and fans are thunderous! Link keeps his cool and grabs Zelda’s wrists now. Link sits Zelda up, LIGHT- NO! Zelda drops under the knee! Zelda pump handles, half nelsons, then rolls Link to a cradle! TWO!! Maybe even 2.5!! Link and Zelda both check with Sahasrahla and Sahasrahla confirms it wasn’t a three!
Fans are thunderous as the two reset. “This is Awesome!” but it’s not over yet! Link and Zelda feel out the grapple, Zelda shoots in and gets a leg but Link blocks with a sprawl. Link facelocks, drops down, but Zelda slips out to wrench Link’s arm. Zelda chicken wings it and body scissors, rolls Link as she goes for the crossface but Link rolls more and gets up with Zelda as a backpack, for a SENTON! Link sits up, but Zelda sits up to go for the crossface! Link holds it off, fans rally up, Link gets his other hand free and pulls Zelda’s fingers! Zelda clubs Link with her free arm, but she lets him free of the body scissors!
Link gets up, YANKS Zelda into a fireman’s carry, BOMBOS MEDALLION!! Cover, TWO!!! Another 2.5!! But Link doesn’t worry about checking with Sahasrahla, he drags Zelda up with a DEAD LIFT FALCON ARROW! Link gets Zelda’s wrists, sits her up, but he hesitates?! Why is he hesitating now!? Link grits his teeth and pulls Zelda’s arms but she springs up!! SATELLITE DDT! Zelda crawls to the cover, ONE!!! Zelda is shocked, and so is everyone else! Zelda drags Link up and shouts, “You wanted a kiss, right?!” Zelda reels back but Link avoids the Hylian Kiss headbutt and bridges, TWO! Link runs and hits MASTER SWORD! Cover, Link wins!!
Winner: Link, by pinfall (still HPW Triforce Champion)
The Hero of Hyrule holds onto the top title! He is still Triforce Champion, and Zelda is still Goddess Champion, but the fans are going wild for them both! After making sure she’s okay, Link helps Zelda up. Both are presented with their belts, and Sahasrahla raises Link’s hand in victory. Zelda offers Link a handshake, and Link accepts it! But then, Link takes Zelda’s hand, and kisses it! Is this the kind of kiss Link was after? Zelda seems a bit flustered, and she wants Link to hold on a second. She steps closer, takes his face in her hands, and then turns his head to the side so she can kiss him on the cheek! Link smiles as Zelda raises his hand and fans cheer again. But now with the Triforce Champion decided, who will the Hero of Hyrule be facing next?
Second Triforce Tournament Finals Triple Threat: Yuga VS Hilda VS Ravio!
Following in the footsteps of Ganondorf, Zelda and Link, three bracket finalists meet in the ring to battle for supremacy! Power, Wisdom, Courage, which will rise above and face the Triforce Champion?
Yuga has Ganondorf’s headdress and has made it pastel and bright! “Just call me YuGanon! HAH!” Hilda has new ring gear with a richer purple and more gold trim. Ravio’s ring gear is the same, he just has a bunch of Ravio merchandise. There are fans who do have Ravio merchandise, namely the banners and a few hats. Ravio sets out the things by ringside as if to advertise them. There are still fans who boo each of them as the introductions are made. The bell rings and some fans cheer as a historic tradition is finalized!
The three are wary of the other two. They glance between each other, slowly start to circle, and then approach. They still circle, and circle, and circle. Fans rally up, the three feel out a test of strength, and Hilda knuckle locks with Yuga and Ravio. Hilda cranks on the wristlocks and Yuga and Ravio go right down to their knees! And then they all stand side by side? They hold hands and raise them up together before taking a bow!? What’s going on here?! Fans boo even harder now as Ravio lies down?! Yuga steps back to “frame” the shot as Hilda uses one foot to cover Ravio! Referee Maron is confused but Yuga and Hilda shout at her to count! Maron does, and Hilda wins?!
Winner: Hilda, by pinfall (wins the Second Triforce Tournament)
Fans are going nuts, but not in a good way! How can this be how this tournament’s return ends?! Ravio gets back up and helps Hilda sit up on a corner while Yuga demands a mic! A mic is given to him and Yuga brings it and the first-ever Triforce Tournament Trophy to Hilda.
Hilda pretends to be emotional as she thanks the fans. “This means the world to me, you have no idea.” She manages to fake some tears before having a big laugh. Ravio and Yuga both laugh and nod but fans just boo more.
Hilda continues speaking, telling Ravio and Yuga what a wonderful job they did, and of course taking some of the credit herself. After all, her “marvelous acting skills” sold that last round where obviously it took two people to coordinate the entrance music and the fire extinguisher blast. That was a Ravio branded fire extinguisher, wasn’t it? “Yes, and it goes on sale starting tomor-” “Shut up, Ravio, nobody cares.” Yuga agrees with Hilda, no one cares about Ravio’s products. “But what people do care about is that now, Her Grace will have her true crowning achievement! She will become THE HPW Triforce Champion!” Hilda thanks Yuga for saying that.
Hilda’s so happy their master plan worked out. The only thing that would’ve made it sweeter is if Zelda actually won tonight. She being HPW’s first Double Champion, both Triforce and Goddess, would’ve made Hilda’s upcoming triumph even more wonderful! Hilda could even take both belts at once! But perhaps that’s too much too soon. Hilda is perfectly fine with showing what she can really do against the Hero of Hyrule. Ravio and Yuga cheer, “All Hail Hilda~!” and then kneel before her, hands directing attention to her, and Hilda laughs as fans boo and jeer, throw popcorn or even storm out. Will Hilda and her coconspirators soon claim HPW’s top prize for their own?
Happy April Fools’ and happy anniversary to Hyrule Puro-Resu here on The Chairshot! I can’t/shouldn’t say HPW has become a huge success or big hit, it’s really only a fanfiction project. But I hope there are people who read the original article a year ago that kept coming back all the way until now, and I thank those that did. It’s been said a thousand times but it can be said a thousand more that 2020 was not at all what anyone wanted it to be. And to be fair, it doesn’t seem like 2021 is completely turning that around just yet. But we all have to stay strong, stay hopeful and try not to make things worse. That all said, I am definitely going to keep HPW going for as long as possible, and we’ll see what happens in year two!
Bandwagon Nerds # 74 To Binge or Not to Binge
Should streaming services do episodic television? That’s the question the Nerds try to answer this week on the Bandwagon. Patrick, Rey, Dave and PC tackle the pros and cons of a streaming service dropping entire seasons of their original programs versus dropping one episode at a time. Is there a “right” way to do it? The Bandwagon returns to the trailer park this week as tons of exciting trailers hit the nerdosphere this week! The guys continue their review of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier in an episode that was light on action, but loaded nonetheless. Finally with Wrestlemania in the rearview, the Nerds share their thoughts of Night One and their favorite Wrestlemania stories of all time.
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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (4/6/21)
The Trios Division takes a hike!
HPW has a plan for the Trios Division in May!
After the chaotic moment following the Anniversary event’s HPW Trios Championship match, a decision has been made! What is in store for champions and challengers next month?
HPW announces the May event venue!
Using their various social media outlets, HPW released a video starring newest correspondent, Agitha. “Hiyo~! I’m here in front of Hyrule Puro-Resu’s next location, The Great Hyrule Forest~! YAAAY~!”
“Spring is in the air and HPW is going enjoy the fresh greenery!” Agitha takes a deep breath in through her nose and sighs happily as she exhales through her mouth. “I love it!” This event will be on 5/15, and Agitha gives us a quick rundown of the coming May event’s match card: The HPW Triforce Championship will be on the line as Link defends against Hilda; HPW promises to find a worthy opponent for Gold Lynel to defend his HPW Death Mountain Championship; and there will be an HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s match to determine Zelda’s next challenger!
“But perhaps biggest of all will be a very special contender’s match to determine the UnderWorld Order’s first challengers! It will be a Gauntlet Match inside… THE LOST WOODS!”
“Yes, the legendary, infamous and even a bit scary Lost Woods will be the location of a HUGE match to name #1 Contenders to the HPW Trios Championships!” All the teams from the brawl after the Trios Championship match at the Triforce Anniversary event will be participants! The Desert Flowers, the Three Masters, the Ikana Royal Family’s Stal-Kid, Sir Hurr & Sir Durr, the Doom Bringers, and former champions Forged By Violence will all battle for a chance at the uWo in June!
Agitha now explains the way this Lost Woods Gauntlet Match will work: The order will be determined by lottery, the two first teams will start outside the Lost Woods, and the team that scores the fall will go in to find the third entrant. Then the team to score a fall at that point goes further into the woods, takes on the fourth entrant, and again to face the fifth entrant, where the last team standing will exit the other side. “Just make sure not to get lost in the meantime~! See you then~! Bye-bye~!” Which team will have the best luck? Which team will have the strongest resolve? We’ll all find out at HPW: Lost (in the) Woods!
Another themed event and another big gimmick match are coming! The way the Lost Woods Gauntlet match works is a bit odd, a bit convoluted, but that feels like the one way to make it work. This will be a lot of fun, though, I’m sure of it.
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