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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (10/31/21)

The Hyrule Warriors battle again!

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HPW Clash of Fates 2

The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 20

While champions defend their titles, the rest of the HPW roster has a chance to rise up and grab destiny! Who survives the Clash of Fates?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • HPW Termina Championship Dangerous Hazards Match: Osphala VS Captain Keeta; Osphala wins and retains the title.
  • HPW Goddess Championship: Zelda VS Tali w/ Shabonne; Zelda wins and retains the title.
  • HPW Triforce Championship: Link VS Kage; Link wins, by disqualification, and retains the title.
  • Hyrule Warriors Match: Ravio wins and challenges for the HPW Triforce Championship at HyruleMania 2.

PLAY BY PLAY

HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

The Triforce Tournament, Treasure Island and now Clash of Fates! HPW continues its second year by establishing another tradition! And as such, the winner of the Eventide Challenge steps up to the Triforce Champion in an epic encounter once more. Kage, “the shadow,” is the spitting image of Link, and no one understands why! But one thing is clear, Kage looks to darken the future by ending Link’s reign! But Link has fought hard to keep this title ever since winning it back at HyruleMania! Will the Hero of Hyrule be a shining light as we move deeper into the Fall?

Meanwhile, the newest graduates from the HPW Training Center are going right for the top spot in the HPW Women’s Division! Shabonne is in Tali’s corner to coach her, but will not even two minds be enough to outthink the  Triforce of Wisdom, the Princess of Hyrule, the one and only Zelda? And speaking of lights, the Gleaming Yellow Light takes on a dark and dangerous match type that the Ikana Royal Family knows well. The gloves and the buckle pads are off, and they’re kicking things off in the Coliseum! HPW Clash of Fates 2 starts NOW!

 

HPW Termina Championship Dangerous Hazards Match: Osphala VS Captain Keeta!

No disqualifications, no count outs, no buckle pads, no telling what will happen as the Ikana Royal Family is determined to get the title back! Will Osphala be able to hold onto the gold when anything goes?

The introductions are made, the title is raised, and things are about to get dangerous!

HyruleProWrestling TerminaChampionship

Keeta rushes Osphala right away! Keeta goes to whip but Osphala blocks! Osphala throws forearms, then runs to ropes, but Keeta again tries to direct him to a corner! Osphala reverses, Keeta stops himself, and Osphala stays back as fans cheer. The two circle, feel out the grapple, and Keeta shoots in for a leg but Osphala blocks with a facelock. Osphala shifts to wrench an arm to a wristlock. Keeta works on an escape, rolls, rolls back, cartwheels, and reels back to then stomp Osphala’s foot! Osphala hops while holding his foot, and Keeta clamps on with a headlock. Keeta grinds, Osphala endures, throws body shots, but Keeta elbows him on the neck.

Keeta picks Osphala up for an atomic drop! Then he picks Ophala up again and heads for a corner! Osphala slips off the back and goes back to center. Keeta storms up, Osphala gets around to waistlock but Keeta elbows free. Keeta whips Osphala at a corner but Osphala goes up and out to springboard back in! Keeta gets under, Osphala rolls, Keeta comes back to CROSSBODY! Keeta runs to drop a SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Keeta gets Osphala up and whips him into bare buckles! Osphala staggers and Keeta runs in, FLYING APPLE! Osphala is sandwiched into the buckles again! Keeta snapmares and rolls Osphala to then run and BASEMENT SPLASH! Cover, TWO!

Fans fire up while Keeta seethes. Keeta drags Osphala up, shoves him at the ropes and ROCKS him in the back with a forearm on the rebound. Osphala drops to his knees, Keeta stands him back up and shoves him at the ropes again, to again ROCK him in the back with a forearm. Then Keeta gets Osphala up again, atomic drop to SIDE LEG SWEEP! Osphala writhes but Keeta forces him to a cover, TWO! Keeta kicks and stomps Osphala to the ropes, then stands on Osphala’s back! No disqualifications so Osphala has to endure as Keeta pretends to surf on him. Keeta mockingly asks Osphala, “Am I doing it right? Maybe I should hang ten!” Keeta then stands with both feet on Osphala’s shoulders!

Keeta hops off and drags Osphala up. Keeta whips Osphala to a corner but Osphala falls, clutching his back. The ref checks on him but Osphala refuses to quit. So Keeta drops a BACK SENTON onto his back! Then another to Osphala’s stomach! Cover, TWO, into a ghost pin! TWO!! Keeta checks with the ref and breathes a sigh of relief. He then gets mad and stomps away on Osphala! Fans boo but Keeta tells them to shut up. Keeta stands Osphala up and fireman’s carries him to a corner. Keeta climbs up the corner and fans rally up as they anticipate what’s coming. But so does Osphala and he slips off to the apron! ENZIGURI! Keeta falls to the mat!

Fans rally up while Osphala clutches his back again. Osphala gets in, hobbles over to Keeta and drags him up. Osphala wrenches the arm, hits an ELBOW BREAKER, then wrenches again. Ophala hits another ELBOW BREAKER, and then wrenches to a standing armlock. Keeta endures, spins through and ROCKS Osphala with a forearm. Osphala holds onto the arm, he wrenches again, uppercuts the arm then CLUBS it, then whips Keeta to ropes, only for Keeta to reverse. Keeta swings but Osphala gets around to go for the cobra twist! Keeta moves around, they do-si-do and Keeta grabs the ropes. But there’s no ropebreaks in this kind of match!

Osphala CLUBS Keeta’s arm into letting go of the rope, brings him around to hook the arms, but Keeta resists the backslide. Osphala’s back gives up and Keeta is free to spin Osphala around and throws a heavy body shot! Keeta gut wrenches and throws Osphala towards a corner! Osphala flounders up, Keeta runs in but Osphala dodges! Keeta runs into buckles! Osphala schoolboys, TWO! Keeta sputters as he gets up, Osphala KICKS him in the chest! Keeta wobbles but stays sitting up, so Osphala KICKS him again! Keeta blocks the next kick and shoves the kick away, but Osphala comes back with a DRAGON WHIP! Cover, TWO!

Osphala fires up and so do the fans! Osphala drags Keeta up, traps the arms as he facelocks, but Keeta resists the suplex! Keeta powers Osphala back and RAMS him into bare buckles! Keeta then BACK DROPS Osphala across the ring! Osphala writhes, Keeta runs corner to corner to go up and VADER BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Osphala survives and Keeta is getting frustrated, so he goes out to look under the ring. And he brings out a chair! No disqualifications, after all! Keeta gets back in the ring and stalks Osphala as he crawls. Keeta SMACKS Osphala right on the back! And SMACKS him again! And again and again! Cover, TWO!

Fans are torn between cheers and jeers as Keeta sits the chair up. Keeta drags Osphala over, bumps him off the seat, then has Osphala sit on the chair backwards. Keeta chokes Osphala against the back of the chair! The ref warns Keeta. This may be No Holds Barred but you still can’t kill someone. Keeta lets off and Osphala sputters and gasps. Keeta CLUBS Osphala on the back to make sure he stays seated, then he goes back out. Keeta looks under the ring and gets another chair. He gets back in the ring, but Osphala gets up and folds up the first chair. Osphala SMACKS the other chair out of Keeta’s hands!

Keeta is shocked, and Osphala JAMS Keeta in the ribs! Then SMACKS him on the back! Osphala gives Keeta his receipt with more chair shots to the back! Fans are fired up and dueling, “Let’s Go, Keeta!” “OS-PHA-LA!” as Keeta flops out of the ring and Osphala is raging! Osphala sets the two chairs up face to face, then goes out after Keeta. Osphala stomps Keeta down, then goes under the ring to bring out a couple more chairs. Some fans chant “WE WANT TABLES!” but others are chanting “CHAIRS ARE FINE!” Osphala makes a chair square and then fetches Keeta. But Keeta CLOBBERS Osphala with a toolbox!! Keeta found the toolbox for the ring!

The ref checks on Osphala, who is already bleeding from his nose. Osphala is in a daze as Keeta puts the toolbox in the ring and gets in after. Keeta opens the toolbox and starts looking through it. He brings out a hammer and holds it up in his hand triumphantly! Keeta slides back out of the ring and takes aim with the hammer! But Osphala goes Matrix to dodge then handsprings up! Mule kick, and Osphala reels Keeta in for a DDT to the floor! Osphala wobbles as he stands up, but he sees the crossbar on the floor. He picks it up, and fans fire up! “USE IT! USE IT! USE IT!” Osphala looks as Keeta drags himself up with the apron skirt.

Osphala takes aim with the hammer and runs in, but Keeta drop toeholds Osphala to the floor! Keeta scrambles to grab the hammer! The two fight over it, and Keeta brings it towards Osphala’s face! He wants to put the hammer’s handle in Osphala’s mouth! Osphala holds it back, so Keeta drops a knee on Osphala’s lower back! Osphala holds onto the hammer, even as Keeta stomps and kicks away at him. Keeta then stomps Osphala’s arms and the hammer is free again! Keeta grabs it but Osphala kicks him in the gut! Osphala then YANKS Keeta into the steel steps! Fans fire up as Keeta leans against the steps and Osphala gets the hammer back! “USE IT! USE IT! USE IT!”

Osphala gets space, aims at Keeta, and runs in to CLOBBER Keeta with the hammer!! Keeta tumbles up and over the steel steps and fans go nuts at The Gleaming Yellow Light showing his dark side! Now Keeta is bleeding from his forehead! Wait, how is a Stalchild bleeding? Well whatever, he just is! Osphala puts Keeta in the ring, and brings him to the chair square! Osphala tries to suplex but his bad back is holding him back again. Osphala looks to the corner and brings Keeta over. He uses his shoulder in getting Keeta up to the top rope. Osphala climbs up slowly, then stands on the very top! SUPER STEIN-

NO! Keeta blocks! And he brings Osphala back up, for a SUPER POWERBOMB to the chair square!! Fans are thunderous as they lose their minds all over again! Keeta moves the chairs out of the way to get Osphala down and cover, TWO?!? How did Osphala survive that?! Keeta is furious and he drags Osphala back up. Keeta fireman’s carries Osphala and climbs up the corner. Fans again anticipate what Keeta wants, TERMINA SKYLINE!! Osphala hits bare buckle then flops to the floor! Cover, TWO!??! Is Osphala even mortal!? Keeta is beside himself with rage, so he goes back to the toolbox. He brings out a BOXCUTTER!!

Keeta cuts up the ring mat and exposes the wood underneath! Fans fire up and Keeta drags Osphala over to the exposed wood. Keeta reels Osphala in, tucks in the arms, but Osphala resists the lift! Keeta keeps trying, but Osphala keeps resisting! Osphala CLUBS Keeta in the leg, wrenches an arm and WRINGS Keeta out into the wood! Keeta clutches the bad arm, Osphala brings him back up and traps the arms before the facelock! Osphala roars as he fights through the pain, suplex to SAND ROD to the wood!! Cover, Osphala wins!!

Winner: Osphala, by pinfall (still HPW Termina Champion)

The Gleaming Yellow Light’s red with blood from his nose and welts on his back, but he’s still golden in the end! Keeta has failed his king, will Igos du Ikana punish the captain of the royal guard for this?

 

HPW ring crew puts things back together.

They were already going to take some time to put all 12 buckle pads back on, but now they have to change out the ring mat because Keeta cut into it. To help with the unofficial intermission, out comes the Chief Operating Officer!

On-stage interview with Humpback Hook Halibut.

Irene introduces the King of Zora, fans cheer, and he says the Dangerous Hazards match was really something. He also says this time gives him a great opening to announce HPW has secured a time and place for their November event! Thursday, 11/25 will be #FyterFeast at the Laparoh Mesa in Hebra! And one major match they have in mind already is a huge HPW Trios Championship match! After attacking Skull Kid during the Necluda event, the UnderWorld Order will defend their titles against the Studly Guys in a Tornado Tag Match! No tags, just action! Fans cheer that idea, but how will the uWo feel about it?

 

 

HPW Goddess Championship: Zelda VS Tali w/ Shabonne!

The Princess of Hyrule has reigned over the Women’s Division since HyruleMania, making this exactly 10 MONTHS, making this Day 304 of her reign! Will Zelda make it to Day 305? Or will the Dame of the Dunes make her first singles match the biggest win in her young career?

Shabonne makes the introductions as she and Tali go to the ring. “Sav’saaba, vai and voe here in the Hyrule Coliseum, and to everyone watching at home. This right here is the biggest moment in your lives! This is the moment that everything changes in Hyrule Pro-Wrestling. No longer will Daddy’s Little Princess sit on a plush and pampered throne. No longer will bias and nepotism rule over HPW. No longer will-” Zelda’s theme interrupts before Shabonne can go on. Ring announcer Purah takes care of Zelda’s introduction, then the belt is raised, and we begin this battle of alpha females!

Fans rally up and chant for “ZELDA! ZELDA! ZELDA!” as she and Tali stare down. Tali flexes with both arms but Zelda isn’t impressed. Zelda calls for a test of strength and Tali is up for it. They approach, knuckle lock, and Zelda rolls to wrench to a wristlock, but Tali powers up and flips Zelda over! Zelda kips up, wrenches and grinds the shoulder. Tali rolls, reels Zelda in and scoops, but Zelda slips out and still has the arm for a half straitjacket. Zelda kicks Tali’s legs out and gets the other arm, but Tali resists the full straitjacket. Tali powers up and arm-drags Zelda away! Zelda gets up but turns around and Tali runs her over! Fans boo but Tali soaks it up while flexing over Zelda.

Tali runs, Zelda drops, then hurdles, but Tali catches Zelda on the second hurdle! Tali pops Zelda up but Zelda sunset flips out of the powerbomb! Cover, TWO! Tali rushes Zelda and powers her to ropes. Referee Maron Ronron calls for the ropebreak, Tali lets off slowly, but then throws a heavy body shot! Fans boo but Tali grins and flexes again. Zelda kicks Tali in the stomach in return! Tali grits her teeth but Zelda headlocks then chinbars for a neck wrench. Tali stays up but Zelda kicks out a leg. Zelda puts more pressure on the neck wrench, then she shifts to a headlock for a takeover. Tali pushes back with her wrists but Zelda cranks the headlock more.

Tali rolls Zelda to a cover, ONE and Zelda pulls on the headlock more. Tali gets a leg up for the headscissors, and holds tight as Zelda tries to kip free. Fans rally up, Zelda kicks and hops around. Zelda headstands, then pops out to a jackknife cover! TWO as Tali bridges up! Tali spins things around, gut wrenches Zelda up, but Zelda slips out again! Tali swings, Zelda catches the arm and tries for a takedown! Tali fights the Fujiwara and shoves Zelda away. Zelda rebounds off ropes and SHOTGUN dropkicks! Tali staggers but she rebounds off ropes to run Zelda over with a shoulder! Tali flexes again but Zelda kips up to get a cravat!

Tali throws body shots but Zelda gives back knees! Zelda snapmares and KICKS Tali in the back. Zelda then clamps on a chinlock and grinds Tali down. Tali slips out the back, CLUBS Zelda on the back, then back suplexes but Zelda makes it a CROSSBODY! Cover, ONE and Zelda goes flying! Shabonne shouts, “That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!” while Zelda has a look of surprise on her face. Zelda gets up, Tali runs in but Zelda throws her through the ropes! Tali staggers into barriers, turns around into a PLANCHA! Direct hit and down goes Tali! Fans fire up and Zelda encourages them to get louder. They get louder and Zelda brings Tali up and into the ring.

Zelda climbs up the corner as Tali slowly rises. Tali turns around, METEORA! Cover, TWO! Zelda watches Tali slowly get up, then jumps on, POISON- NO, Tali holds onto the ropes to deny the poison-rana! Zelda staggers back up, into a ROLLING FOREARM from Tali! Cover, TWO!! Tali is shocked but Shabonne coaches her to keep focus because they know Zelda’s tough. Tali drags Zelda up, reels her in and suplexes, then keeps her up there! Fans count to 10, Tali keeps going, so it goes to 15! Tali finally SLAMS Zelda down at 20! Tali covers by reclining and flexing, TWO and Zelda has a ghost pin! TWO and Tali gets up in a panic!

Zelda rushes Tali, cravat and snapmare roll and Zelda runs the ropes to BASEMENT METEORA! Then Zelda gets a headscissors for the FIGURE FOUR NECKLOCK! Fans rally as Tali endures. Shabonne coaches Tali, she reaches out for ropes, but Zelda shifts to a regular headscissors to turn Tali away! But Tali powers up and dead lifts Zelda to an Electric Chair! ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP! Tali pushes back for a cover, TWO! Tali grows frustrated but Shabonne tells her to focus. Tali crawls over but Zelda grabs her in a TRIANGLE HOLD! Zelda shifts to the side and makes it more an armbar with a headscissor!

Tali moves around, dead lifts, but Zelda lets go to wrangle Tali back down to keep on the arm. Tali hurries to clasp hands but Zelda pries at the grip. Zelda clubs Tali’s S Grip, then stomps her in the ribs. Zelda kicks at Tali’s other arm, breaks the grip and has the CROSS ARM BREAKER! Tali endures and Shabonne shouts for her to move around. Tali kicks around, Zelda bends the arm back as far as she can, but Tali gets the ropebreak with a foot! The fans cheer Tali’s resiliency, Maron counts and Zelda lets go at 4. Tali bails out as she shakes out the bad arm, Zelda takes aim again! Shabonne warns Tali and Tali moves as Zelda PLANCHAS again! Zelda hits nothing but floor!

Tali gets Zelda up and whips her hard into railing! Zelda falls in a heap and Tali looms over her, flexing again. Tali shakes out her bad arm then drags Zelda back up. But Zelda gets the bad arm and wrenches it to an ELBOW BREAKER! Then she wraps the bad arm around railing to pull on it! Shabonne protests and Maron reprimands, Zelda BOOTS the railing to jam the arm! Tali clutches the elbow and goes around the way but Zelda follows. Zelda gets the arm and whips Tali into railing now! Tali staggers, Zelda runs in to SHOTGUN her back into the railing! The ring count is 5 of 10, Zelda gets in the ring. Tali drags herself up at 7, shakes out the bad arm and rolls in at 9.

Shabonne gets on the apron to shout at Zelda about the railing but then she backs off as Zelda storms over. Tali runs in to SPEAR Zelda down! Tali shakes out her bad arm before she covers, TWO!! The bad arm couldn’t hold Zelda’s leg! Tali is furious but Shabonne wants her to stay calm. Tali doesn’t listen as she stomps away on Zelda. Tali shakes out the bad arm, uses the good one to drag Zelda up, but Zelda wrenches it to then ROCK Tali in the back with a forearm. Zelda grabs the bad arm and pulls both back in a motorcycle stretch! Tali endures, fights up to her feet, but Zelda lets off the stretch to jump up, POISON-RANA! FIGURE FOUR NECKLOCK!

Tali flails and Shabonne freaks out! Shabonne reaches out to Tali, Maron reprimands her, but Zelda keeps Tali from the ropes by getting the bad arm with a Cording Hold! Zelda pulls back on both arm and necklock as fans fire up! Tali taps, Zelda wins!

Winner: Zelda, by submission (still HPW Goddess Champion)

The Dame of the Desert, sculpted of stone, was eroded and worn down by Zelda’s Sheikah Strong Style submission strategy! Will the Princess of Hyrule continue to keep her throne with Fyter Feast and HyruleMania 2 on the horizon?

 

General Manager and King of Hyrule, Nicholas Foolyere, is here!

With the crew putting the ring back together, he stays on the stage. King Nicholas says he’s happy to be here, at the Hyrule Coliseum and the Great Plateau! Fans give him the cheap pop and he thanks them for it. Nicholas commends Osphala and Zelda on retaining their titles in truly grueling matches. But Nicholas is sure they all know why he’s here, and yes, he has big news! “The Triforce Tournament, Treasure Island, and Clash of Fates are not the only traditions being established in year two. We are now on the road to HyruleMania TWO!”

HyruleProWrestlingPPVLogo HyruleMania2

Once again, New Year’s Eve will be the #CelebrationofGreatness! They’ll be back in Central Hyrule, at the Hyrule Garrison! That is where we will see the HPW Triforce Champion defend his title against the winner of the 2021 Hyrule Warriors match! Nicholas is going to join commentary to watch those very matches up close and personal! Fans cheer and Nicholas wishes Link, Kage and the 33 Hyrule Warriors the best of luck!

 

HPW Triforce Championship: Link VS Kage!

Why is it that the Hero of Hyrule and the Dark Force’s newest member look so much alike? Why does Kage have an obsession with him? Is there something someone isn’t telling us? All of these questions deserve an answer, but the squared circle only cares about one question: Who is better? Can Link keep this title from his dark and brooding doppelganger? Or will a shadow be cast on all of HPW?

To further the resemblance, Kage is wearing a copy of Link’s Hero of Old entrance gear! But instead of green and gold, it’s all black and grey! It makes his stark white skull face paint and red eyes stand out even more! And just like in Necluda, he stares at the entryway as Link makes his entrance. Link is unsettled seeing a morbid imitation standing before him, but he still gets in the ring. The introductions are made, the title is raised, and mirror images collide in the Coliseum!

WrestlingTitle Hylian

Fans are fired up already as Link and Kage stare down from their corners. The second Link steps forward, so does Kage. The two circle as fans rally behind Link. They tie up, Link wrenches to a wristlock but Kage rolls, bridges, spins and rolls to handspring and trip Link up for a standing toehold. Link rolls over and uses his leg to reel Kage in but Kage ties up the legs to get a Bow ‘n’ Arrow! Link pops out fast to a cover but Kage kicks out before a count. The two stand off and fans cheer. Kage seethes as he and Link circle again. They tie back up, Kage headlocks but Link throws body shots. Link powers out, Kage runs him over but Link kips right up!

Things speed up, Kage drops but Link front flips over. Kage runs, Link hurdles over then drops down but Kage returns the front flip! Kage swings a clothesline but Link rolls under to then handspring back for a headscissor, that Kage handsprings through! Kage runs and tilt-o-whirls for headscissors but Link handsprings through that! They both run, dodge, handspring and superhero landing! Fans are thunderous now as the two mirror images stand up and stare down! They back off, reset and approach. Kage kicks low and JABS Link with a straight right! Referee Tiger Sahasrahla reprimands over the closed fist, but Kage has Link in a corner.

Kage throws a Goro Uppercut, then a CHOP! Link is stinging as he goes to the other corner, Kage CHOPS him again! Kage keeps Link in the corner to wrench and whip corner to corner, only for Link to reverse. Link runs in but into a drop toehold that sends him into buckles! Kage corner tiger feints Link away, then springboards, into Link’s ANTI-AIR DROPKICK! Fans fire up again as Link covers, ONE! Link KICKS Kage in the back, covers, ONE! Link keeps cool and he brings Kage to a corner to stomp away. Sahasrahla counts, Link lets off to stand Kage up, wrap him up and have an IRON OCTOPUS! Link is showing he knows technical moves as he digs knuckles into Kage’s ribs.

Kage endures, fights up and moves around. Kage gets to the ropes and Link lets off cleanly as fans cheer. Link puts Kage in a corner for a GoroUpper, then whips corner to corner to forearm smash! Fans rally up as Link goes corner to corner, into a BOOT! Kage wrenches to a HOOK SHOT KICK! That’s Link’s move! Link bails out, Kage takes aim and builds speed to go up the ropes and TORNILLO TOPE! Direct hit and fans can’t help but cheer Kage on for that one! Kage puts Link in the ring to slingshot senton! Link gets to a corner, Kage KICKS him in the back! And then KICKS him in the chest! And again! And again! Link tries to push Kage away but Kage digs his boots in.

Sahasrahla counts, Kage lets off and he brings Link up to wrench and hook him up in a BOW ‘N’ ARROW BACKBREAKER RACK! Link endures, Kage lets him out and chicken wings the arms to then spin him around for a Muscle Buster Stretch! Link endures that, so Kage tosses him to the mat! Kage KICKS Link in the back, Link throws body shots and forearms! Link backs Kage down but Kage GogoUppers! Kage runs, Link jumps, but Kage turns that into a tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKER! Kage paces around, steps on Link’s face, then slaps Link around. Kage tells Link to get up, then brings him up to facelock. Link blocks the suplex and hits a JAWBREAKER!

Link blocks a punch to fire back with forearms! Link spins but Kage ROCKS him with a right! Kage whips Link but Link handsprings to NEURALIZER! Both men are down and fans fire up for Link again. Kage and Link crawl to ropes, Link goes to a corner. Kage runs corner to corner but Link dodges. Link runs in, Kage puts him on the apron but Link ROCKS him back! Link bumps Kage off buckle, KICKS him away, then springboards in for a FLYING FOREARM! Link’s bringing in new stuff to throw Kage off and the fans are loving it! Kage bails out, Link runs, handsprings, TORNILLO SASUKE SPECIAL! Fans fire up with Link and he gives a wave before putting Kage in.

Link slingshots to hop on for a CODE RED! Cover, TWO! Link goes to run but Kage grabs his waistband. Link swings on Kage but he ducks to handspring, but Link gets under to toss him up and over! Kage lands on his feet, catches and spins Link around, SCREW HIGH KICK! FISHERMAN BACK SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! Link narrowly escapes and Kage is furious while fans fire back up! Both men are down as fans rally up, Kage fireman’s carries but Link slips off to waistlock. Kage elbows free, Link blocks the clothesline but Kage blocks the roundhouse to BOOT Link to a corner. Kage runs in but Link ducks under the leaping attack!

Link goes up to waistlock but Kage elbows him away. Kage Quebradas but Link gets under! Link goes up to Quebrada but Kage gets under it in return! Kage jumps a leg sweep, Link ducks the heel kick, but DOUBLE ROUNDHOUSES knock both men down! Fans are thunderous again as they hit the mat! Link goes to the apron and Kage crawls after him. Fans chant “This is Awesome!” as the two men stand up. Link and Kage face each other, Kage BOOTS Link! Link ROCKS Kage back with a forearm. Kage ENZIGURIS, but Link BOOTS back! Link fires up but he runs into a pop-up fireman’s carry! APRON DEATH VALLEY!

Kage hurries to throw Link back into the ring, but Link tiger feints to POISON-RANA to the floor! Link’s borrowing moves from Zelda now! Sahasrahla checks on both men as fans lose their minds, and a ring count starts. The count reaches 5 of 10 before either man is up. Kage and Link stir at 7, flounder at 8, stand at 9 and are in at 9.9!! Fans fire up again as this match continues! Both men rise as fans rally up. Link is at the ropes, but he approaches Kage. Kage SLAPS Link, so Link ROCKS him with a right! Kage ROCKS Link back, Link ROCKS Kage again! Kage ROCKS Link again, Link ROCKS Kage! Kage GoroUppers, Link GoroUppers back. Kage GoroUppers again, but so does Link!

The GoroUppers keep flying back and forth, fans rally up, and Kage gets the edge, only to spin into a HYLIAN KISS HEADBUTT! Another move borrowed from Zelda! Link and Kage steady themselves, Kage runs into a SUPERKICK! Link fireman’s carries, BOMBOS MEDALLION, but Kage handsprings through! ENZIGURI! Kage reels Link in for a waistlock but Link swings an elbow! Kage ducks it to NORTHERN LIGHTS! Roll through, FALCON- NO, Link STUNNERS out of it! He won’t let Kage steal another of his moves! Link runs but into a SUPERKICK! Kage runs, into a pop-up fireman’s carry, BOMBOS MEDALLION!! Cover, TWO!! Kage survives and no one can believe it!

Fans are thunderous again, Link waits for Kage to sit up. Link runs, Kage ducks the shining wizard but stops the Boomerang as he gets Link up for a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Kage rolls Link to his feet, to MASTER SWORD KNEE?! Kage copies another of Link’s moves after all! Kage NORTHERN LIGHTS, roll through and FALCON ARROW! STANDING ICE ARROW! Cover off the standing corkscrew moonsault, TWO!! Link narrowly escapes and fans go wild as Kage goes to the corner! Kage climbs up, FIRE ARROW FLOPS as Link moves! No more move stealing! SUPERKICK, QUAKE MEDALLION! Cover, TWO!! Kage survives and Link can’t believe it!

Link fires up as the fans rally again. Kage sits up and glares at Link. Link basement BOOTS Kage down but Kage sits up to still glare at him. Link BOOTS, Kage sits up again so Link SLAPS him! Kage stands up to SLAP back! Kage drops to his knees again, but he roars, until Link BUZZSAWS then HEEL KICKS! Link reels Kage in but Kage wrenches out to ROUNDHOUSE! Kage reels Link in but Link blocks the suplex! Link wrenches, waistlocks and ripcords Kage to MASTER SWORD! Dead lift FALCON ARROW! Link goes to the corner, goes up top, FIRE ARROW ONTO KNEES! Kage saves himself at the last second and fans are going wild again!

Kage is seething while fans rally back up. Link staggers up, Kage stalks up behind him, and Kage reels him in for a waistlock, but Link grabs the ropes! Sahasrahla counts the ropebreak but Kage slaps Link’s arms away to then STRAITJACKET GERMAN! Bridging cover! TWO!! Kage is furious that he’s still no closer to winning! He drags Link up, but Link wrenches to HOOK SHOT KICK! Kage drops to a knee, Link gets space for the SPIN ATTACK! Cover, TWO! Link gets Kage’s wrists and sits him up, but Kage drags Link down into an omoplata! Kage wants the crossface but Link claws and moves around. Link rolls through, steps over Kage, and BOOMERANG HEEL KICK!

Link gets the wrists again, sits Kage back up, but Kage throws a shoulder into Link’s leg! Kage fireman’s carries again but Link slips off to KICK his leg! Kage kicks but Link blocks by kicking that leg! Kage hobbles, Link SUPERKICKS! Link clutches his plant leg, but he manages to BASEMENT GOROUPPER Kage down! Link hobbles, facelocks Kage then rolls to ETHER MEDALLION! Kage endures the Chancery stretch but Link’s bad leg makes it hard to bridge! Link can’t hold it and Kage gets free, to wrap Link up in a SLEEPER! Link flails and reaches for ropes, but Kage hits a SNAP SLEEPER SUPLEX! Link gasps and sputters, Kage gets him for another SNAP SLEEPER SUPLEX!

Link sits up in a daze while fans are going nuts. Kage storms over to him and drags him up by his hair. Kage roars right in Link’s face, then spins him around for another sleeper! But wait, who is that hurrying down the ramp? It’s Link’s sister, Aryll! She’s shouting for them to stop fighting? What’s that folder she has in her hand? She gets up on the apron, Sahasrahla tells her to hop down, Link pushes back to turn sleeper into a cover! TWO, and Kage ENZIGURIS Link down! Aryll shouts for them to stop and she opens the folder. She wants them to look at the papers. Kage just goes back to Link, for the third SNAP SLEEPER SUPLEX!

Link flounders to a corner while Kage stalks him. Kage hoists Link up to the top rope backwards then climbs up behind him. Kage wraps on a sleeper! Fans anticipate what Kage’s after and so does Aryll! She quickly runs around to the timekeeper’s area and grabs a mic! “Please, stop! Don’t do this!” She wants Kage to spare Link, but not because of the title. “You shouldn’t do this to your own brother!” Kage stops and stares at Aryll as she’s on the apron and fans are definitely shocked to hear that. Aryll points to the folder and tells him to read it for himself. Kage looks over, fans are dueling, “YES! YES! YES!” “NO! NO! NO!” and Kage steps down!

Kage walks over to the folder and picks it up. He looks at the papers, and he’s both angry and confused. He throws the papers away and says it has to be a trick. But at the same time, everyone else sees the resemblance… Aryll defends it’s true, but he tells her she’s lying! “IT’S NOT TRUE! IT’S A TRICK!” Kage climbs back up behind Link and CLUBS away on his back! “IT’S A TRICK! IT’S A TRICK!” Kage sits Link up and wraps on the sleeper! Link holds on for dear life as Kage tries the suplex! Kage hops down but brings Link into the Tree of Woe! Kage holds Link up to KICK away on his back! Then he CLUBS Link back down!

Kage stomps away on Link, shouting, “IT’S A TRICK! IT’S A TRICK!” Sahasrahla counts, Kage won’t let off, so Sahasrahla pulls him away. Kage shoves him away and then basement dropkicks Link in the head! Aryll shouts and Sahasrahla warns Kage but Kage just shouts in Link’s face, “You are not my brother! You are NOT my brother!” Aryll says he is but Kage shouts at her, “HE’S NOT! He’s not my brother! And you’re not my sister!” Kage stomps Link more, Sahasrahla counts but Kage won’t stop! Sahasrahla warns Kage again, but Kage sits Link back up on the top rope. Kage climbs up behind Link and wraps on the sleeper!

Sahasrahla counts, Aryll stands up on the apron! Aryll pleads with Kage and Link fights the hold! Sahasrahla tells Aryll to hop down, and he counts the ropebreak for being in the corner. Kage throws forearms on Link’s back and neck as the count climbs! Kage gets Link up in the sleeper hold, but Sahasrahla is having the bell ring?!? Link pushes off the corner, SLICED BREAD! But what’s the decision!? Sahasrahla goes to the ring announcer, Purah, and she announces that the decision is LINK wins, by disqualification!

Winner: Link, by disqualification (still HPW Triforce Champion)

Kage’s anger got the better of him and the referee made him pay for not listening to authority. But speaking of that anger, he gets up and wants after Link, not aware of the decision. Sahasrahla stands between him and Link and explains, and that only makes him angrier! Kage shoves Sahasrahla down, then fires off hands on Link! Link counter punches, fires haymakers in return, then clotheslines Kage up and out of the ring! Aryll wants Link to stop, pointing to the papers. Is that all true then? Is Kage their long lost sibling? Link is frustrated and conflicted, but he still goes out of the ring.

But instead of going after Kage, he grabs the belt and then ushers Aryll to the ramp. Aryll wants him to wait and go to Kage, but Link shakes his head. Link keeps ushering his sister up the ramp and to the stage, but what about his brother?

 

Second Annual Hyrule Warriors Match!

The 33-person battle royal returns, and the rules are the same as last year. We start with three, a new entry will be sent out every minute, and eliminations are over-the-top-rope until only two are left. Then it becomes a standard 1v1 match, first fall to a finish! Who will be standing tall at the very end, headed for a head-on collision with the Triforce Champion?

The very first entry this year is the boulder busting Sage of Fire, Rosso! A tall task being among the first three, even for one as big and tough as him. Second is the Dark Force’s Gibdo! He wasn’t in last year’s Hyrule Warriors, how will he fare? And the third entry is… The Dark Force’s Cia! She did very well for herself last year but the bigger point is that she’s already got back-up! The bell rings and yep, the Dark Forces mug Rosso! They’re definitely motivated to win since Kage failed to take the Triforce title. Gibdo CLUBS away on Rosso and puts him in a corner, where he and Cia both stomp away on him.

Cia takes a moment to gloat and soak up the heat while Gibdo digs his boots into Rosso. Gibdo and Cia try to get Rosso up and over, but Rosso holds on. Rosso shoves Cia away with a boot then fires big haymakers on Gibdo! Gibdo throws body shots in return, then Cia KICKS Rosso in the leg. Gibdo scoops and SLAMS Rosso, and Cia applauds while the fans boo. The first countdown is here and fans count, “Three! Two! One! BRR!” Entry number four is “CAPTAIN! BOKOoOoOOoO~BLIN!” Oh hey, he’s back! And in the exact same spot he had last year. Will he last longer this time? He slides into the ring, and Gibdo CLOBBERS him!

Cia and Gibdo drag Capt. Bokoblin up and throw him over the top rope! But he holds on! Cia and Gibdo think they’ve gotten rid of him but Capt. Bokoblin skins the cat! Gibdo turns around and Capt. Bokoblin ROCKS him with a forearm! Cia KICKS Capt. Bokoblin in the leg, CLUBS him along the ropes and throws forearms, but Capt. Bokoblin is hulking up! Cia keeps throwing forearms but Capt. Bokoblin gets stronger with each one! Then he pokes his finger at Cia and shouts, “YOU…!” Capt. Bokoblin throws haymakers back, then whips Cia to ropes. Cia holds ropes to avoid the boot, Gibdo choke grips Capt. Bokoblin!

Capt. Bokoblin wheelbarrows out of the choke slam, but Gibdo blocks the bulldog with power! Gibdo brings Capt. Bokoblin back up to aim, run and TOSS Capt. Bokoblin out to the ramp! Gibdo ELIMINATES Captain Bokoblin! And just in time for the countdown to return! Entry five is… HILDA! Her Grace walks out, and sees Capt. Bokoblin down on the ramp. She has a look of disgust as she has to walk around him to get to the ring. Rosso tackles Gibdo so Hilda stares down with Cia. Fans rally up as the two circle while Rosso hammers Gibdo in a corner. Cia and Hilda both kick low but they both block the other’s kick!

Cia and Hilda tell the other to let go and they complain when the other doesn’t. They eventually agree to do it at the same time. They both slowly bend down, bring the other’s foot to the mat, but then they both stand up straight, still holding on! And now they shout at the other about lying. These two are mirror images! And the countdown is back again already! Entry six is… RIJU! A Desert Flower gets in on the Hyrule Warriors match and she SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICKS Hilda and Cia right down! Fans fire up as she stomps away on both of them back and forth! Riju then runs to handspring splash onto Hilda, and then STANDING MOONSAULT onto Cia!

Riju drags Cia up but Cia kicks low. Cia drives elbows into Riju’s neck, then back suplexes. Riju fights that with punches, uppercuts then ENZIGURIS! Cia staggers away, Hilda kicks Riju low and whips her to a corner. Hilda runs in but Riju drop toeholds her into buckles! Cia runs in but Riju sends her into Hilda! Riju waistlocks Cia but Cia waistlocks Hilda and Hilda grabs the ropes! Riju keeps pulling but Hilda bucks Cia, Riju O’Conner Rolls Cia but it doesn’t matter when there’s no pinfalls yet! Hilda pushes Riju and that causes Cia to end up on top of the O’Conner Roll. Hilda comes back to BULLDOG Cia off Riju!

Riju hops onto Hilda’s back with a sleeper! Hilda moves around with Riju as a backpack, stumbles into Gibdo and Rosso, and Gibdo scoops them both to RAM them into Rosso! Riju falls off Hilda, Gibdo puts Hilda on Cia’s shoulder for a fireman’s carry. Cia heads for ropes but Hilda slips off and shoves Cia up and over! Cia holds on desperately and Gibdo hurries over to help! Gibdo saves Cia as the countdown returns, and the seventh entry is… AVEIL! Another Desert Flower is here! She slides in, helps Riju up, and together they double dropkick Gibdo to a corner! Fans fire up as they brawl with Cia and Hilda!

The haymakers and forearms go back and forth, Cia and Hilda then the Desert Flowers. Cia and Hilda kick Riju and Aveil low, sneer at each other, but the Desert Flowers SHOTEI in stereo! Fans fire up again as Cia and Hilda go down, but Gibdo runs in, only for Rosso to POUNCE him away! Rosso roars and so do the Desert Flowers! He drags Cia and Hilda up and the Desert Flowers bring them to the ropes. They dump the two up and over but Hilda and Cia hold on! The Desert Flowers try to break their grips but Hilda and Cia manage to hook the bottom rope. Gibdo throws hands with Rosso again while the Desert Flowers stomp Cia and Hilda.

The countdown returns and the eighth entry is… Oh, a graduate out of the HPW Training Center, it’s Joelle Poe! Joelle minds her own business since she’s the odd one out right now. But then Gibdo DECKS Rosso and spots her hunkered down in a corner. Gibdo storms over, Joelle scrambles to the other corner, then corner to corner to avoid him. Rosso gets up and storms after Gibdo. Joelle ducks Gibdo’s lunge, slides under Rosso, and tries to shove Rosso at Gibdo but he’s too big and sturdy for that from little ol’ Joelle. Rosso even seems confused as to why she’d try. But then Gibdo sucker punches Rosso! They brawl and Joelle gets to hide in another corner.

Hilda and Cia are back in the ring and they brawl with the Desert Flowers again. The Desert Flowers whip but Hilda and Cia reverse. Riju slides under Cia while Aveil SHOTGUNS Hilda down! Aveil kips up, Riju waistlocks Cia and Aveil takes aim. But then Cia switches and Aveil has to pull back on her kicks. Riju switches, Aveil tries again but Cia switches again! Riju says, “Oh!” and ducks down! Aveil ROUNDHOUSES Cia! The Desert Flowers grab at Cia but she scrambles to the bottom rope for safety. Hilda goes after Riju but that gets her beat up 2v1! The countdown returns and the ninth entry is… Oh, it’s Meg Poe! She’s one of Joelle’s sisters!

Joelle is excited to see her sister, and as soon as Meg gets in the ring, they both go after Aveil! Riju goes after Meg, Cia and Hilda get back up and it’s a huge brawl at the center of the ring! Joelle trades haymakers with Cia and Aveil throws hands with Hilda. Gibdo DOUBLE CHOPS Rosso, then uses both hands to TOSS Rosso at the others! The six get clear and the Poe Sisters find themselves between their enemies! Joelle and Meg duck as Cia and Hilda swing punches, then jump as the Desert Flowers kick low. The Poe Sisters do-si-do to jump kick Riju and Hilda, then they each ROCK Cia and Aveil with a forearm smash!

The Poe Sisters then high-ten, only for Gibdo and Rosso to CLOBBER them! The countdown returns and the tenth entry is… SIR HURR! The Ikana Royal Family failed to take back the Termina Championship but their mission to get the Triforce Championship begins now! He slides in, dodges Rosso’s clothesline, rebounds off ropes and gets around Gibdo and he manages to shove Gibdo into Rosso! Hurr whips Gibdo at ropes and calf kicks him, but Gibdo just barely stops from tumbling up and out! Hurr runs and clotheslines Gibdo against ropes but still can’t get him up and over. Rosso runs in and Hurr moves, Gibdo dumps Rosso out and ELIMINATES him!!

Hurr attacks Gibdo from behind and throws hands. Gibdo shoves him away, but Hurr goes Matrix under the boot to kip up and hit a NECKBREAKER! Hurr drags Gibdo up and brings him to ropes but Gibdo holds on to keep from being thrown out. The Poe Sisters regroup and they stomp the Desert Flowers at the same time. Cia and Hilda get up and they both want to go after Meg, but then they get mad at each other. They stare down and talk trash, but the Poe Sisters knock them down! The Poe Sisters stomp away on them both, then go back to stomp Desert Flowers. Fans boo as the two of them high-ten again.

The countdown returns and the eleventh entry is… DARKHAMMER! The Doom Bringer’s big bad and bulky Lizalfos takes his time storming up to the ring. The Poe Sisters are wary of him but they keep the Desert Flowers down with stomps. Darkhammer storms up the steel steps, hotshots Hurr from the ropes and KNEES Gibdo off the ropes. Hammer steps in, stomps Gibdo then ROCKS Hurr with a forearm. Hammer headlocks Hurr but Hurr throws body shots. Hurr throws a forearm but Hammer just stares him down. Hurr throws more forearms but Hammer eggs him on! Hurr throws more forearms but then Hammer DECKS him with one!

Gibdo hits Hammer from behind! Gibdo CLUBS Hammer to ropes then fires off more. Gibdo then backs up and runs in but Hammer avoid the boot! Gibdo gets stuck on the ropes, Hammer dumps him up and out! Gibdo holds onto the bottom rope so Hammer stomps away on him. Cia gets up and sees Gibdo is in trouble so she goes after Hammer! Cia has a sleeper and thrashes about, and then Gibdo gets up to bring them to a corner. Cia bumps Hammer off buckles, then she and Gibdo work together to pick Hammer up. Hammer holds onto the top rope to resist being thrown out, so Gibdo CLUBS him on the back.

The Poe Sisters stick with going after the Desert Flowers, Hilda staggers up but sees Hurr is down so she stomps him. The countdown returns and the twelfth entry is… OAKY TREETOH! The Wooden Idol is flanked by her super fans as she goes to the ring, performing her theme song herself. She then has her super fans become steps so she can get up into the ring. Only for the Poe Sisters to attack! They stomp and club Treetoh down and the super fans boo! The Poe Sisters drag Treetoh up and push her up over the top rope! Treetoh tumbles, but her super fans are there to catch her! They literally carry Treetoh around the ring, looking for a safe place to throw her back in.

The Poe Sisters keep an eye on Treetoh and her super fans as they go around, keeping them from putting her back in! But then Treetoh dares them to come out after her to settle this. The Poe Sisters talk it over, and they go under the bottom rope! Treetoh and her super fans are worried now, and the chase is on! They go around the way, the super fans make it to the steel steps and Treetoh hops on to walk up and get back in the ring! The Poe Sisters get back in but Treetoh dodges them and springboards to DOUBLE CROSSBODY! Fans, especially the super fans, fire up as Treetoh stands up and does more idol dance moves.

Hilda sneaks up to CLOBBER Treetoh from behind, and fans boo! Hilda reels Treetoh in to hammerlock and facelock, HER CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT! She drags Treetoh up from the DDT and she aims for the ropes. The super fans are ready to catch Treetoh but Hilda changes directions! The super fans hurry to keep up with Hilda but she goes around and around and around! Hilda finally tosses Treetoh up and out where no one is, and Treetoh hits the floor! Hilda ELIMINATES Oaky Treetoh! Fans boo harder but Hilda just takes a bow. Only for Cia to DECK her! Fans actually cheer Cia and she takes a bow!

The countdown returns and the thirteenth entry is… Whoa! El Hijo del Torbellino! The Zora luchador was impressive at the Battle of the Bog, and now he’s part of a huge HPW main event! Torbellino springboards in to missile dropkick Cia down! Fans are loving this already as he kips up, dodges Gibdo, rebounds off ropes and tilt-o-whirl headscissors Gibdo to the ropes! Hammer storms after Torbellino but Torbellino uses Gibdo to springboard and hit a TORNADO DDT! Torbe-rooni!? Fans fire up for “TOR-BE-VITO!” *clap clap, clap clap clap* Hurr runs in but Torbellino spins him around and around for a NECKBREAKER!

The Desert Flowers square up with Torbellino now. Riju sweeps the legs but he jumps over, then he ducks under Aveil’s roundhouse. He kicks back but Aveil blocks and throws the foot but Torbellino uses that to capoeria kick Riju! Torbellino coffee grinds then pommels but Aveil stays clear, until Torbellino SCREW HIGH KICKS! Aveil goes down, Torbellino somersaults back and gets Riju for headscissors! But then Gibdo CLOBBERS him! Fans boo but Gibdo drags Torbellino to throw him up and over! Torbellino holds on, skins the cat and gets Gibdo with headscissors to drag him up and over! Hammer runs in, but Gibdo and Torbellino both hold the ropes down and Hammer falls out! They ELIMINATE Hammer together!

The countdown is back again and the fourteenth entry is… FIN BALURE! The Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla runs in and CHOPS Torbellino! He dodges and CHOPS Gibdo! He CHOPS Cia! Hurr kicks and whips Balure but Balure comes back with a SLINGBLADE! The Poe Sisters go after Balure then double whip. Balure holds ropes then comes back to KICK Joelle Poe! He whips Meg Poe but she holds ropes. Joelle Poe swings but Balure dodges and she almost hits her sister! Balure DOUBLE SHOTGUN DROPKICKS them down! Hilda hops up onto Balure’s shoulders but he pops her off before the Poison-Rana to dragon sleeper and ELBOW DROP DDT!

Gibdo and Cia go after Balure together and corner him as they stomp and club him. Torbellino goes after Gibdo but Hurr goes after Torbellino. The Poe Sisters go after the Desert Flowers again, but the countdown is back already! The fifteenth entry is… BULARIA! The Desert Flowers trio is complete! Bularia gets in and runs both Poe Sisters over! Torbellino kicks Hurr away and Bularia picks Hurr up, Aveil coordinates for a BACK SUPLEX NECKBREAKER! Riju drop toeholds Hurr and floats over to a facelock that she then makes a camel clutch! Aveil basement dropkicks Hurr, Riju shifts to a full nelson and drags Hurr up, Bularia runs to LARIAT DRAGON SUPLEX COMBO!

The Desert Flowers get Hurr up quick and push him up and over the ropes! Hurr flops to the floor, the Desert Flowers ELIMINATE him! Strike one on the Ikana Royal Family’s mission. The Desert Flowers go after the Poe Sisters now, Bularia stomping Joelle and both Riju and Aveil stomping Meg. Torbellino helps Balure against the Dark Forces while Hilda hangs back in a corner. Meg kicks Riju away and throws hands with Aveil, and Hilda reels Riju in. Hilda hammerlocks but Riju switches it onto her. Hilda drop toeholds floats to a headlock and grinds Riju down. Riju fights up and powers out, Hilda holds ropes and then kicks Riju low to YANK her into the ropes!

Hilda chokes Riju, Aveil CLUBS Hilda, but then Meg attacks Aveil from behind. Hilda and Meg mug Aveil but then Riju CLUBS Hilda on the back. The countdown is back and the sixteenth entry is… AMY POE! A third Poe Sister appears and she goes right after Bularia to get her off Joelle. Joelle and Amy double whip Bularia into a corner, Meg whips Aveil into Bularia! Meg and Amy double whip Joelle in and she SPLASHES! Aveil falls down, Amy becomes a step stool and Meg runs in, POE-ETRY in Motion! Bularia staggers, Meg and Amy feed her to Joelle’s dropkick! Meg and Amy hurry to get Bularia to the ropes and Joelle helps out!

Riju sees Bularia is in trouble, but Hilda pulls her backward and to the ropes for a ROLLING ELBOW! Riju is dazed and Hilda gets her up and over to dump her out! Hilda ELIMINATES Riju! Hilda mockingly waves bye, then she sits back in a corner. But Bularia fights the Poes off, realizes what happened to Riju, and glares at Hilda. Hilda dares her to bring it, but then the Poe Sisters jump back on Bularia! Aveil drags Amy off Bularia and gives her a SHOTEI! Aveil throws Amy over but Amy clings to the ropes. Meg goes after Aveil but that allows Bularia to shove Joelle away and storm after Hilda. Hilda dropkicks Bularia’s leg out and then hammerlock! HER CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT!

Hilda drags Bularia to ropes but that’s a bit of dead weight. Hilda puts Bularia on the ropes and tries to pick her up by her legs. Meg and Amy mug Aveil, Joelle helps Hilda lift Bularia but Bularia starts fighting them off. Joelle rakes Bularia’s eyes then chokes Bularia against the ropes! The countdown returns and the seventeenth entry is… ASHEI! Fans sing for for “A-sheeei~, Ashei Ashei Asheeeeei~! A-sheeeeei~! A-sheeeeei~!” as she slides in and CLOBBERS Meg Poe! And CLOBBERS Amy Poe! She dodges Hilda to BOOT Joelle Poe! Ashei dodges Hilda again, fireman’s carries and SNOWPEAK GUTBUSTER!

Meg Poe rushes Ashei but Ashei pops her up onto the corner and dropkicks her down! Meg hits the floor, Ashei ELIMINATES her! One Poe Sister down! Ashei drags Hilda up but Amy goes after Ashei! Ashei boots Amy away then gets behind her for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Ashei fireman’s carries Amy, Joelle runs up but Ashei kicks her low. Ashei scoops Joelle and she gives the Poe Sisters a POWERSLAM WASTELAND SLAM COMBO! Fans are fired up but Hilda dropkicks Ashei down! Fans boo but Hilda just soaks it all up again. Hilda drags Ashei up and brings her to ropes but Ashei turns things around to throw Hilda! Hilda shrieks as she holds onto ropes for dear life!

Ashei pries at Hilda’s fingers but Hilda uses her legs to hook ropes, too. Ashei kicks at Hilda but she holds on tight. The remaining Poe Sisters regroup and go after Ashei! They club and stomp her down, Hilda slips away but she ends up running into Bularia! Bularia and Aveil go after Hilda 2v1, Gibdo BOOTS Torbellino! Cia gets a sleeper on Balure but he rams her into buckles. Balure is free but Gibdo scoops him! Balure slips out, he and Torbellino double dropkick Gibdo into Cia! Torbellino and Balure work together, Balure whips Torbellino in to dropkick Gibdo again! Cia is stuck behind Gibdo and they both sit down. Torbellino then whips Balure in for a HESITATION DROPKICK!

Balure and Torbellino work to get Gibdo up but he’s pretty big. Cia staggers up and goes after Torbellino, pulling at his mask! The fans boo the disrespect but Cia doesn’t care as she throws him down. She then goes after Balure, she and Gibdo mug him, but Torbellino jumps back in! Torbellino throws fast hands but Gibdo HEADBUTTS him! Gibdo reels Torbellino in and HIP TOSSES him up and out! Gibdo ELIMINATES Torbellino! The countdown returns and the eighteenth entry is… AGAHNIM! It’s been awhile since the Sorcerer has been in action, this could be his chance! He carefully gets in the ring and kicks Aveil. He snapmares her into ropes and her legs hit the ropes!

Aveil clutches a leg, Agahnim grabs it and YANKS on it! He stomps and kicks the leg, but Bularia goes after him now. Bularia scoops but Agahnim slips out and shoves her at ropes to ROCK her in the back with a forearm on the rebound. Agahnim brings Bularia around to whip her up and over the ropes but she holds on. Aveil hobbles up and pulls Agahnim back into a waistlock. The bad leg holds back her German Suplex and Agahnim standing switches to shove Aveil into Bularia! Bularia falls, Aveil inadvertently ELIMINATES Bularia! Agahnim then goes to dump Aveil out! Aveil kicks him away with her good leg and springboards to CROSSBODY him down!

Hilda brings Aveil up and throws her up and out! Hilda ELIMINATES Aveil! The Desert Flowers are all out of the match! Cia goes after Hilda, Gibdo CLUBS Balure down, Agahnim crawls but the Poe Sisters, Joelle and Amy, stomp him to a corner! The countdown returns and the nineteenth entry is… YUGA! Hilda finally has back-up as The Artist runs in! Gibdo intercepts Yuga and they brawl. Yuga gets the edge, spins but into a HEADBUTT from Gibdo! Gibdo drags Yuga up but Hilda KICKS Gibdo in the leg. Cia pulls Hilda’s hair but Hilda pulls Cia’s hair in return! Cia KICKS Hilda in the leg, Hilda KICKS Cia back, but they’re both still pulling hair!

Yuga kicks Gibdo’s leg out from below, then wraps on a sleeper! Yuga squeezes tight and brings Gibdo down. Joelle and Amy Poe go after Ashei but Balure helps Ashei out. Agahnim goes to a corner, then he CLUBS Balure from behind! Agahnim and Balure brawl, Ashei ends up outnumbered by the Poes again. The Poes push Ashei to the ropes and try to get her up and out, but she kicks them away. Cia and Hilda end up in a corner, Cia goes after a leg but Hilda hammers away on her. Hilda goes for a leg but Cia hammers away on her now. Balure whips Agahnim that way and the two ladies move, and Agahnim ends up in the corner, for them to DOUBLE GAMANGIRI!

Cia and Hilda get Agahnim up and over the rope but he holds onto the corner! Hilda and Cia both climb up to go after him but they get upset with each other and try to elbow the other out of the way. Agahnim shoves Cia down but Hilda HOTSHOTS him! Agahnim flops down onto the apron, Hilda stomps him through the ropes! The countdown returns and the twentieth entry is… GANONDORF DRAGMIRE!! The Gerudo Ace is here, ready to win another shot at the top title! Agahnim is excited as Ganondorf gets in, and Agahnim stands with him, ready to go after the others. But then Ganondorf TOSSES Agahnim at Balure!

Balure staggers up to ropes and Ganondorf clotheslines him out! Ganondorf ELIMINATES Balure! Ganondorf drags Agahnim up and then THROWS him onto the Poe Sisters! Ganondorf brings each Poe up with one hand, then shoves them to the ropes! They tumble up and out and hit the floor, Ganondorf ELIMINATES Joelle and Amy Poe! That’s three in under a minute! Agahnim staggers up and Ganondorf gives him a thumbs up. Agahnim gives Ganondorf a thumbs up back though he wobbles, and then Ganondorf TOSSES Agahnim at Ashei! But she catches Agahnim, pops him around and FALL AWAY SLAMS him up and out! Ashei ELIMINATES Agahnim!

Ganondorf applauds Ashei’s showing of strength as the countdown returns. The 21st entry is… KING BULBLIN! Bulblin storms into the ring, Ashei is after him with forearms but he DECKS her with one! Ganondorf kicks Bulblin low, throws hands then whips, but Bulblin reverses. Ganondorf comes back, ducks and dodges to LARIAT! Ganondorf roars and fans fire up! Ganondorf drags Bulblin up to CLUB him, put him against ropes and CHOP him! Bulblin elbows Ganondorf away, Ganondorf KICKS Bulblin in the leg then mule kicks Bulblin in the gut. Ashei rolls off Bulblin’s back to SAIDO! Ganondorf is again impressed and applauds.

Bulblin staggers up and Ganondorf clotheslines Bulblin up and out! Ganondorf ELIMINATES Bulblin! Ashei then fireman’s carries Ganondorf! Ganondorf slips off and whips Ashei to ropes! He pops Ashei up, she fights the bomb and rolls back. She shoots in but he blocks the fireman’s carry and throws down elbows. Ganondorf throws a knee low and hard, then underhooks and lifts, FACEBUSTER! Or as Ganondorf now calls it, THE DEMISE! Ganondorf gets Ashei up in powerbomb position now and THROWS her out onto Bulblin! Ganondorf ELIMINATES Ashei! Ganondorf then stares down Hilda, Yuga, Cia and Gibdo.

The countdown returns and the 22nd entry is… BETH POE! There was one more Poe Sister! She gets in and stares Ganondorf down. She shouts, “You took everything from me!” He replies, “I don’t even know who you are.” She fires off punches and kicks but he keeps his guard up. He CLUBS her kick away then ROLLING ELBOWS her down! Ganondorf drags Beth up and dumps her out. She tumbles to the floor, Ganondorf ELIMINATES Beth Poe! He turns back to the other four, and the other four attack all at once! They club and stomp him to a corner, Gibdo stomps a mudhole into Ganondorf.

Gibdo lets off and he drags Ganondorf up. Yuga goes for a leg but Ganondorf fights back. Ganondorf kicks Yuga away, throws forearms on Gibdo, but Hilda and Cia jump on him. Ganondorf tosses them both away then DOUBLE CLOTHESLINES them down! The countdown returns and the 23rd entry is… STAL-KID! Ikana Royal Family’s second chance springboards and missile dropkicks Ganondorf down! Stal-Kid smoothly kips up and then stomps away on Ganondorf. Gibdo waistlocks Stal-Kid but Stal-Kid switches and kicks his leg out to then ENZIGURI Gibdo down! Yuga rushes in but Stal-Kid dodges to CHOP! Stal-Kid then DROPSAULTS Yuga and lands on Gibdo!

Stal-Kid stomps Ganondorf but he sits up and glares at Stal-Kid. Ganondorf eggs Stal-Kid on and Stal-Kid KICKS him in the chest. Ganondorf shakes his head and eggs Stal-Kid on more. Stal-Kid kicks and kicks, Ganondorf blocks, pops Stal-Kid up but Stal-Kid RANAS out of the bomb! Ganondorf is sent into Gibdo, Stal-Kid GAMANGIRIS Gibdo and Gibdo ends up giving Ganondorf a DDT! Cia gives Stal-Kid a BACKSTABBER! Stal-Kid staggers, Hilda wrenches and hammerlocks to give Stal-Kid HER CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT! Hilda drags Stal-Kid up and whips him up and over the ropes but he holds on. Cia runs in and BLASTS him off the apron with a dropkick! Cia ELIMINATES Stal-Kid!

The countdown returns and the 24th entry is… VOLGA! The Dark Order has three members in the match now! Volga gets in, SLINGBLADE for Yuga! SLINGBLADE for Hilda! SLINGBLADE for Ganondorf! The Dark Order regroups and strikes a group pose, Gibdo and Volga both kneeling and directing attention to Cia as she tosses her hair. But then Hilda hops up and POISON-RANAS Cia! Yuga kicks Volga down and Ganondorf BOOTS Gibdo! Ganondorf stomps Gibdo to a corner, Yuga brings Volga up and throws forearms. Hilda drags Cia up and brings her to ropes, but Cia grabs ropes to resist being thrown out.

Ganondorf stands Gibdo up in the corner to throw forearms on him. Gibdo hits back, kicks low, throws GoroUppers, but Ganondorf throws them back! Volga gets around Yuga and back suplexes! Volga rains down furious forearms! Cia pie faces Hilda away, Hilda kicks but Cia blocks and KNEES Hilda back. Gibdo whips but Ganondorf reverses and Cia has to get out of the way. Hilda takes advantage to CHOP BLOCK Cia! Ganondorf CLOBBERS Gibdo with a clothesline! The countdown is back and the 25th entry is… THE GREAT FAIRY! Fans cheer as the living legend slides into the ring! She dropkicks Ganondorf! And dropkicks Hilda! And dropkicks Volga!

The Great Fairy CLUBS Cia, Gibdo waistlocks but she elbows free. Great Fairy kicks Cia to a corner but Hilda comes back and tackles Great Fairy into Cia! Hilda RAMS her shoulder in, then again. Yuga stomps Volga then stomps Ganondorf but Gibdo goes after him. Gibdo scoops Yuga and aims for the ropes, but Yuga slips out and shoves Gibdo at the ropes. Yuga swings but Gibdo catches him for an URENAGE! Gibdo brings Yuga up but Yuga pokes him in the eye! Ganondorf gets Yuga for a FLAPJACK! Ganondorf then kips up and fans fire up, but Volga gets Ganondorf with a SLINGBLADE! Volga brings Ganondorf up but Ganondorf throws body shots as they head for ropes.

Cia pushes the Great Fairy and Hilda arm-drags Great Fairy away. Cia kicks Hilda’s leg out, then BASEMENT DDT’S her down! The countdown returns and the 26th entry is… LANA! Cia swears up a storm watching her sister storm down the ramp! Lana gets in and the fans go nuts as the sisters throw wild hands! It turns into a serious scrap and they fall over. They roll and fall out of the ring! But it’s under the bottom rope so they’re still in the match. Lana gets up and whips but Cia reverses and sends Lana into barriers! Cia then goes looking under the ring. She brings out a kendo stick! Technically, this is a No Disqualifications match because it’s over-the-top-rope elimination!

Lana crawls to the timekeeper’s area and Cia storms over. But Lana JAMS Cia with a chair! Again, no DQ! And Lana adds on with a SMACK to Cia’s back! Lana stalks Cia as she crawls back to ringside, but Gibdo grabs at Lana from the ropes! Lana JAMS Gibdo through the ropes! But Cia SMACKS Lana on the back with the kendo stick! Cia SMACKS Lana again and again and again! Then she puts Lana back in the ring and drags her up to put against ropes. Lana holds on but Gibdo helps out. They get Lana onto the apron and pry at her hands but she holds on pretty well. Great Fairy stomps Hilda to a corner, Yuga goes after her, and Ganondorf tries to get Volga up and over.

The countdown returns and the 27th entry is… SIR DURR! The last chance for the Ikana Royal Family is here! Durr slides in and starts pinballing around, hitting a back body block off Ganondorf, and then off Yuga, then off Gibdo! Durr dodges Hilda to get a NECKBREAKER! Volga runs at Durr but Durr denies the slingblade to ENZIGURI Volga down! Durr shouts “THE BEST! THE BEST! THE BEST!” Gibdo DECKS Durr with an elbow! Gibdo stomps Durr, brings him up and throws him at the ropes. Durr holds on as he tumbles out and Gibdo goes after his bony fingers. The Great Fairy fights off Hilda and Yuga, kicks but Yuga blocks and Hilda KICKS the leg!

The Great Fairy hobbles, Hilda CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg! Hilda and Yuga get Great Fairy up and out and she hits the floor! Hilda and Yuga ELIMINATE The Great Fairy! Fans boo but Hilda soaks up the heat while Yuga bows and praises her. Ganondorf BOOTS Yuga down! Ganondorf clinches Hilda to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly suplex her across the way! Hilda flounders up and Ganondorf runs over, but Hilda dodges as he boots! Ganondorf gets caught up on the ropes, Hilda pushes him over but he stays on the apron. Ganondorf ROCKS her with a forearm, then gets in to scoop her. Yuga pulls Hilda down from Ganondorf’s shoulder then CLUBS Ganondorf on the back.

The countdown returns and the 28th entry is… NABOORU! She clotheslines Hilda down, dodges Yuga and Ganondorf to clothesline Gibdo against the ropes! Gibdo knocks into Durr and he falls, Gibdo ELIMINATES Durr! No more chances for the Ikana Royal Family! Nabooru dodges Ganondorf again to GoroUpper Volga off his feet! And then GoroUppers Cia! And GoroUppers Lana! Nabooru dodges Ganondorf again and runs back at Gibdo to GoroUpper him against the ropes! Nabooru dodges Ganondorf again but Ganondorf follows to CLOBBER her! Ganondorf drags her up, underhooks and lifts but Nabooru resists!

Gibdo CLUBS Ganondorf, CLUBS Nabooru, whips Nabooru but she reverses. Nabooru and Ganondorf DOUBLE SHOULDER Gibdo down! Cia kicks Lana while they’re both still down on the mat. Volga SUPERKICKS Nabooru! Volga fires off kicks on Ganondorf, Ganondorf blocks and spins Volga but gets a DRAGON WHIP! Gibdo and Volga drag Nabooru up and whip her to ropes, but she handsprings and comes back for a DOUBLE STUNNER! Ganondorf pops Volga up for a GANON BOMB! The countdown returns and the 29th entry is… RUTO! The Zora Queen returns! And she slingshots in to SPEAR Nabooru! Their classic rivalry returns already!

Ruto rains down forearms, drags Nabooru up, but Nabooru throws forearms! They go back and forth with forearms and fans fire up! Nabooru gets the edge, spins, but into a JUMP KNEE from Ruto! Ruto throws Nabooru up and over but Nabooru holds on. Hilda dropkicks Ruto against ropes! Yuga shoves Ruto up and over! The two legends hold on, and they both forearm Yuga and Hilda away! Ruto and Nabooru seem to call truce, and then Ruto slingshots while Nabooru springboards! But while Nabooru missile dropkicks Yuga, Hilda catches Ruto! Hilda hammerlocks an arm, DRAPING CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT!

Hilda drags Ruto up and throws her over, Hilda ELIMINATES Ruto! The Zora Queen sure didn’t have a lengthy return… The countdown returns and the 30th entry is… RED NUT! One half of the Darknut brothers gets in and he CLOBBERS Gibdo! And DECKS Volga! He kicks Ganondorf and whips him into a corner. Nabooru goes after Red Nut but he throws her into the same corner as Ganondorf. Red Nut runs in, Nabooru dodges so Red Nut only SPLASHES Ganondorf! Nabooru GAMANGIRIS Red Nut and then runs corner to corner, only for Cia to THESZ PRESS! Cia rains down hands on Nabooru but Lana tackles Cia.

Red Nut stomps Nabooru then kicks Volga. Gibdo goes after Red Nut, he and Volga mug Red Nut to a corner. Hilda and Yuga hang back a moment, Ganondorf runs in and BOOTS Volga down! Ganondorf CHOPS Gibdo, ROCKS Red Nut, then reels Gibdo in for a POWERSLAM! Red Nut KNEES Ganondorf while he’s down, then hammers away with fists. Volga kicks Red Nut then whips, but Red Nut reverse to reel Volga into a fireman’s carry! TKO! But Ganondorf hits Red Nut with a DISCUS LARIAT! Ganondorf drags Red Nut to a corner and picks him up but Red Nut holds onto the ropes. The countdown returns, the 31st entry is… BLUE NUT!

Blue Nut runs in and goes right after Ganondorf! The Darknuts mug Ganondorf and now he has to hold onto the ropes to keep from being thrown out! Nabooru jumps on Red Nut’s back and throws elbows into his shoulder. Blue Nut brings Nabooru off Red Nut’s back but Ganondorf puts Blue Nut in the corner to stomp him down! Nabooru gets Red Nut with a dragon sleeper, NBR! She drags Red Nut up and throws him over the ropes! Red Nut holds on and Nabooru throws a forearm. Red Nut throws a forearm back, Nabooru GAMANGIRIS him back! Red Nut wobbles, Nabooru sweeps his legs and Red Nut falls on the apron, and then the floor! Nabooru ELIMINATES Red Nut!

Ganondorf hoists Blue Nut up to the top rope but Blue Nut kicks him away. Blue Nut leaps, but Ganondorf catches him to a fireman’s carry! USHIGOROSHI! Ganondorf then waistlocks and deadlifts Blue Nut for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Blue Nut flounders, Ganondorf fireman’s carries again, and he manages to TOSS Blue Nut onto his brother, Red Nut! Ganondorf ELIMINATES Blue Nut! The countdown returns and the 32nd entry is… IRON KNUCKLE! His Forged By Violence teammates are already out, but he stares down with Ganondorf. Fans fire up as the two start throwing hands!

Knuckle ROCKS Ganondorf, Ganondorf BOOTS Knuckle but Knuckle stays up and rebounds off ropes to RAM Ganondorf with a shoulder. Ganondorf rebounds off ropes to RAM Knuckle back, but Knuckle stays put! Knuckle uses his shoulder to push Ganondorf then cravats for a knee smash! Ganondorf staggers, and the Darknuts get back in the ring!? Well, no disqualifications, and they get Ganondorf up as Knuckle runs! HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL!! The refs reprimand the Darknuts and they get out as Knuckle drags Ganondorf up. Knuckle throws Ganondorf over, Ganondorf hits the floor, Iron Knuckle ELIMINATES Ganondorf!!

Nabooru gets Knuckle in a dragon sleeper! But Knuckle slips through to dump Nabooru up and out! Nabooru holds on, Knuckle swings on her but Nabooru ducks and grabs Knuckle in a facelock! She drags Knuckle up onto the top rope but he resists. Plus, he’s pretty big. But Gibdo and Volga run over and knock them both off the apron! The Dark Forces ELIMINATE Iron Knuckle and Nabooru! It’s just Gibdo, Volga, Cia, Hilda, Yuga and Lana as the “FINAL~ COUNTDOWN~!” begins! The 33rd and final entry is… RAVIO! #Murausagi is here and he can- Oh no! Ghirahim attacks from behind! Ghirahim wants to take Ravio’s spot like he did Rauru’s last year!

Fans boo as Ghirahim stomps Ravio then storms down the ramp. But wait! Midna rushes in and runs Ghirahim down! She’s stopping Ghirahim from taking this last spot, but will she try and take it for her own? Ghirahim CHOPS Midna, but she CHOPS back! Ravio is crawling while the CHOPS keep flying! Ghirahim BOOTS Midna then whips her into steel steps! But Ravio gets in the ring! Ravio stays the final entry! Ghirahim is furious, but Midna kicks one of his legs out from behind! TWILIGHT SLEEP! Midna dusts herself off as she gets up, and then nods to the final seven in the ring. Fans cheer, “Thank You, Midna!” as she takes her leave.

The Dark Forces regroup, as do Hilda, Yuga and Ravio. Lana is the odd one out, and she looks between the two trios. But obviously, with the beef with her sister, she sides with Hilda’s team! The 4v3 brawl breaks out, Volga throwing hands with Yuga while- Wait, Ravio runs away from Gibdo! Gibdo chases him to a corner but Ravio slides under and attacks from behind. Hilda and Lana mug Cia, they bring her up and push her to ropes. Cia resists and pulls both ladies’ hair! But Lana and Hilda pull Cia’s hair back! They DOUBLE CHOP Cia, and she sputters as she sits against the ropes, and then tumbles out! She went under the bottom rope, she’s still in this!

Hilda and Lana sigh as they have to go out after Cia, making sure to go under the bottom rope, as well. Gibdo elbows Ravio away, grabs him with both hands, but Ravio pokes him in his eyes! Ravio then turns around to untie buckle pads from the corner! Gibdo charges back in, Ravio moves and Gibdo only gets bare buckles! Yuga whips Volga into Gibdo and sandwiches him into the buckles! Ravio SLAPS Volga, but that only angers him! Volga chases Ravio but Yuga RAMS into Gibdo in the corner! Volga sees Yuga working to pick Gibdo up but Ravio pulls Volga’s hair to throw him down! Ravio then DOUBLE STOMPS Volga down, runs over to help Yuga, and they dump out Gibdo! Ravio and Yuga ELIMINATE Gibdo!

Lana and Hilda stomp and kick Cia around the outside, out her back into the ring. Yuga and Ravio bring Cia up and Hilda encourages Lana to beat Cia down. Lana reels back but Cia begs her sister for mercy. Lana reels her hand back again, but she can’t bring herself to do it! Hilda sighs and SLAPS Lana! Hilda fires off forearms but Cia fights to get free! Volga hits a SLINGBLADE on Yuga! Ravio cowers away in a corner, Cia and Volga pull Hilda off Lana. Cia wrenches Hilda’s arm and kicks her low, but Ravio leap frogs Hilda to TORNADO DDT Cia down! Volga goes after Ravio but Yuga CRACKS Volga with his magic scepter! Yuga throws Volga up and out and ELIMINATES him!

Cia and Lana regroup as Hilda, Yuga and Ravio regroup! Fans are thunderous for the sisters as they fight alongside each other! But that’s still 3v2, Ravio helps Hilda CLUB Cia down. They double whip Cia into the bare buckles! Yuga whips Lana at Cia, Cia runs to meet her and do-si-dos to send Lana back at them! Lana SHOTGUNS Hilda down, right between Ravio and Yuga! They’re both shocked, and then Cia and Lana RANA them both! The fans fire up more, Cia and Lana get Ravio up and double whip him, but he slides, only to get a hotshot from the bottom rope! Referees go to check on Ravio while Lana and Cia focus on Yuga now.

Cia and Lana try to get Yuga up and over but he holds on. Hilda returns and CLUBS Cia on the back. Hilda throws forearms, Yuga gives Lana a SNAKE EYES to the bare buckles! Lana clutches her face, Yuga scoops her and goes to the ropes. Yuga tosses Lana over but she stays on the apron! Lana ROUNDHOUSES Yuga away, then takes aim. She jumps up, but Ravio YANKS her down?! Ravio ELIMINATES Lana! Was he playing up how hurt he was from the rope mishap? Ravio gets back in, Cia DECKS Hilda but Yuga kicks Cia low. Ravio waves Yuga over, Yuga whips Cia that way, Ravio holds the ropes down! Cia tumbles out, Yuga and Ravio ELIMINATE Cia!

Fans boo that the final three are Yuga, Ravio and Hilda. This is going to be just like the Triforce Tournament finals this year, isn’t it?! Hilda smiles and waves to the fans while Yuga and Ravio bow and praise her. Hilda bows as if she’s already won while Ravio and Yuga both go to the ropes. Ravio hops up and over the top rope to the apron, but then Yuga turns around to CLOBBER Hilda?! Yuga betrays Hilda as he drags her up and throws her out! Yuga ELIMINATES Hilda!! But wait, that means the final showdown is between him and Ravio! Yuga laughs and Ravio is as shocked as anyone!

Yuga tells Ravio to get in the ring, but Ravio shakes his head, “No.” Yuga says yes, because this isn’t settled until they have a fall. Ravio still shakes his head, so Yuga storms over. Ravio runs around on the apron, Yuga chases him from the other side of the ropes. Yuga is getting frustrated, so he slides out and trips Ravio on the apron! No more worries about over-the-top-rope eliminations, and Yuga finds the chair Lana used earlier. He picks it up and swings it, but Ravio rolls back into the ring! The chair smacks the apron edge and Yuga lets it go from the recoil in his hands. Yuga is furious and he gets inside the ring.

Yuga stomps away on Ravio, goes after the legs, but Ravio turns Figure Four into inside cradle! TWO, Yuga swings on Ravio but he dodges and slides out again. Yuga chases but Ravio goes under the ring! Yuga shouts for Ravio to get out from under the ring but Ravio refuses. Yuga goes looking under, a ring count climbs, and Yuga keeps looking. Yuga gets back in the ring at 6 of 10 and waits. Ravio reappears from under the ring, slithers in and sneaks up behind Yuga and SMACKS Yuga with a Ravio brand kendo stick! The rabbit ears confirm it! Ravio runs and RABBIT KNEES!! Cover, RAVIO WINS?!?

Winner: Ravio, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the HPW Triforce Championship)

Incredible! Ravio was the last one in and is the last one standing! And now he’s going to challenge Link for the top title in all of Hyrule! But will Murausagi’s luck run out when he has to face the Hero of Hyrule head-on?


My Thoughts:

Woo, what an epic! Just like last year, that Hyrule Warriors match took a lot of time to put together, and was a lot to writhe just in general. Title status quo was kept but I hope the matches were good enough to justify it. And I have a feeling the finish to Link VS Kage feels very WWE in that it was “ruined” because of how it became about the story beat of the long lost brother and stuff. It was easier than claiming Cia and the Dark Forces somehow created Kage out of dark magic, though that still probably could’ve happened cuz this is HPW.


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Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #159: Disney’s Bold Move

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Bandwagon Nerds
Bandwagon Nerds #159: Disney's Bold Move

This week Dave, Patrick and PC Tunney give their thoughts regarding the huge news out of Disney that Bob Chapek is out as CEO and has been replaced by the returning Bob Iger.  What does it mean for the struggling company and will Iger be able to right the ship?  Plus with the O’Dowds back from Disneyworld, the Little O’Dowd crashes the show to share his Disneyworld experience.  Finally, the Nerds finish their review of Locke and Key Season 3!

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About Bandwagon Nerds

Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney and Rey Cash as they keep everyone up on all things nerd, and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

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Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, Suwama’s Station, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.


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Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reivews: Nickelback – Get Rollin’ (2022)

Many of us have judged them as bottom tier garbage for years! Does the JAR keep this new album in the bin, or is their a light of hope? Nickelback – Get Rollin’ is next up!

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As everyone knows, the world has generally passed Judgment on Nickelback as being a steaming pile of garbage. Nickelback is a punchline, the lowest common denominator or the bare bottom measuring stick of tolerance. With that, I figured it would be potentially entertaining to review their most recent album.

The original most hated musical act from Canada until Justin Bieber came around. Depending on who you ask, its still a closely contested battle. But hell, lets just see if this is any good, or will uncrown Three Days Grace as the worst album of the year.

Nickelback is: Chad Kroeger (Lead Vocals & Guitars), Ryan Peake (Guitars & Backing Vocals), Mike Kroeger (Bass), Daniel Adair (Drums & Percussion)

  • Artist: Nickelback
  • Album: Get Rollin’ (2022)
  • Label: Nickelback II/BMG
  • Total Track Time: 41:02

San Quentin is their heavy song that was apparently also the lead single. They’ve dabbled in having heavier songs, first to come to mind is Animals; so with that said, this is tolerable. Its not deep, it just grooves along talking about trying to stay out of San Quentin but still doing irreverent things. Now I doubt its setting a heavier tone for the album, but maybe I’ll be surprised. Skinny Little Missy is a title that makes me cringe and think 70 year old southern men wrote this. So I’m both intrigued and confused from the title alone. Surprisingly it stays a little heavier in the color with distorted guitar and a prominent bass groove, and I don’t hate the chorus; “Skinny little Missy don’t want no boyfriend, Skinny little Missy don’t waste no time, Her pretty little face will never grace your bedroom, ‘Cause skinny little Missy is a friend of mine” – the concept of warning people at the bar is a country trope, but its not terrible. Oh God, the first two songs aren’t bad…am I broken? Did Nickelback get better?

Those Days is…OH GREAT! This is stripped down and cringe sounding. Like super cliché, nothing interesting about the arrangement and it’s basically Photograph but for an old 90s first love. And the lyrics are so simplistic it just makes this hard to tolerate. While the sentiment of pining for an old relationship is not new and has been done a lot just over the albums I covered, a bad arena rock group singing moment, simple words, cringe imagery…adults should not have wrote this. High Time steers into the country vibe, but it also started with a lighter and smoke exhalation sound, so now they think a song about drugs is cool? I’m all for self medication of all types, but this just sounds stupid. This sounds like it could be in a National Lampoons movie, as the picture of someone who doesn’t know what drugs do but has an image in their head. This is so awful. Vegas Bomb is a little bit of a distorted and pedaled riff with a heavy drumbeat and guitar groove. So dammit, this actually has a good sound and could easily be thrown into the background of a bar scene. While I’m a fan of an Irish Car Bomb and a Vegas Bomb isn’t my style…the song achieves what it wants and it’s fairly groovy and solid.

Tidal Wave is a song I wanted to hate at first, but it pivots a different way than I expected. It reminds me more of a Richard Marx or Cannons song. Its stripped down, but has that 80s retro synthwave simplicity and just glides along in the sparse guitars and metronome drum usage. It has that dreamlike vibe and while I don’t love it following up a heavier song since the tone shifts are whiplash inducing but its a good song. Does Heaven Even Know You’re Missing? – the titles of some of these songs made Chad sound like he’s a boomer and not Gen X. “I knew it from the day we met, That I could throw away regret, It doesn’t matter what we do, As long as I can be with you, So come and run away with me, You’re gonna love it, wait and see, Forever we can live like that, ‘Cause I’m never gonna give you back”, is the second verse and its a cute sentiment. Aside from the title and usage in the chorus being a little cliché and eye roll worthy, the song is structured like a Country ballad, think like Lady Antebellum. While I can’t see myself ever spinning this song again, its not a waste of time.

Steel Still Rusts opens with the acoustic guitar strum and it hits like 100% country rock song. It also is a soldier song, getting that across fairly well in the chorus; “Long gone is the praise for those who fought for us, Ashes to ashes, turns out steel still rusts, Stone carved in your name, no one can really trust, Shoulder another soldier they stole from us, Don’t ever bend, don’t ever crawl, Supposed to stand and never fall, Long gone is the praise for those who fought for us, Ashes to ashes, turns out steel still rusts” – so with all of that, if you like Country Rock songs, you won’t find many issues with this one. Horizon is a song that is caught in-between all of the sounds they’ve applied in this album, and executed poorly. While lyrically its a little unique since its a song about two people who are always involved with someone else so they can never be together. Over the next horizon concept is cool, but the music is sandwiched between country rock love song, 80s synth and the bad Nickelback punchline stuff. Standing In The Dark randomly sounds like The Rasmus and then we go into more of country style vocals. So its definitely sonically awkward but no offensive. So yeah, the Gothic Pop Rock elements sounds very European and you’d think Chad’s vocals might not fit, but they kind of do. The song is nothing special, but its not offensive. If this becomes a future single I won’t be shocked. Just One More goes for the 80s echoed vocal style, and I get some Cutting Crew vibes from this song that is basically expressing the urge to die to be with a lover; “Tell me, Lord, where’d my little angel go?, ‘Cause I’m down here alone, If you got room for just one more, Just one more”, the lyrics are somewhat inspired, but the 80s style arrangement takes away the desperation of the plea. So this is a song that I feel loses a lot of efficacy in the arrangement, however its not a bad song if you don’t think too hard about it.

I am in shock, this album was more good than bad, and actually had a few songs that I really enjoyed. Now they’ve always basically been a four chord band, so I’m not expecting triplets, complex runs, signature shifts…but they colored their songs fairly well in this album. Yeah there are a few of their awful cringe pop garbage songs, but there’s only like 3. I will take a few points off since the unlike the Disturbed album from last week, this album’s flow is jagged and awful. Too many tonal shifts from song to song, even if the songs are fairly solid in their own rights.

All that said, this is far from the worst album all year…its mostly positive…so this will end up much higher than I expected. I need to go do some self reflection.

Final Judgement: 6.05/10


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