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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (4/1/22)

HPW could be entering a new era!



HPW Anniversary Show

The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 28

The Triforce Tournament finally finishes, but will it look like last year’s finale? Who will challenge Link for the HPW Triforce Championship?


  • HPW Death Mountain Championship #1 Contender’s Ladder Match: Rosso VS Nabooru VS Volga VS Torbevito; Torbevito wins and will challenge Tali for the title.
  • Blood & Thunder Advantage Triple Threat: Ganondorf VS Riju VS Iron Knuckle; Riju wins advantage for their team.
  • Trios Match: Link, Zelda & Groose w/ Tingle VS The UnderWorld Order; Link, Zelda & Groose win, by disqualification.
  • HPW Termina Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Igos du Ikana VS Osphala; Igos wins and will challenge Fin Balure for the title.
  • Triforce Tournament Triple Threat Finals: Kage VS Hilda VS Ravio; Kage wins and will challenge Link for the HPW Triforce Championship.


HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

It was a long road back to this year’s Triforce Tournament Finals, but here we are! And while the more things change, the more they stay the same! Hilda and Ravio still had plenty of tricks up their sleeves and those got them back to wining their respective brackets. However, without Yuga on their side, a new name won the Bracket of Power! Kage is ready to win another chance at his twin! Will the Hero’s Shadow shine in the spotlight?

Meanwhile, many others are fighting for their way towards gold! The Ruler of Ruin and the Gleaming Yellow Light meet again, both hoping to take aim at Fin Balure. Then, before the first-ever Blood & Thunder match, a Triple Threat is held to determine who gets the advantage in that match! And to kick things off tonight, Shabonne & Tali set up a #1 contender’s ladder match for the Death Mountain Championship, who climbs up to get a shot at the Dame of the Dunes? The HPW Triforce Anniversary in Central Hyrule starts now!


HPW Death Mountain Championship #1 Contender’s Ladder Match: Rosso VS Nabooru VS Volga VS Torbevito!

The Dame of the Dunes and her manager showed a lot of respect to the Sage of Fire, the Gerudo legend, and even the Dark Forces’ Dragon Knight, but didn’t even know who the Son of the Whirlpool was. Will Torbevito show them who he is? Or will another climb up and bring down that golden ticket?

The bell rings and Volga SUPERKICKS Rosso! Rosso stays up, Nabooru dropkicks Rosso into the corner. Torbevito runs in to SHINING WIZARD! Torbevito headlocks but Rosso powers out of the bulldog and sends Torbevito flying at Volga! Torbevito uses that to hit a CODE BREAKER on Volga! Nabooru runs up on Rosso, gets around, goes for the dragon sleeper, but Rosso spins it around to scoop Nabooru! Rosso aims for a corner but Nabooru slips off to push him into buckles! Rosso staggers back, Nabooru gets the dragon sleeper! N B R!! Fans fire up and Nabooru looks around. Torbevito’s already getting a ladder in the ring!

Nabooru rushes over and grabs the ladder. She and Torbevito tug-o-war over the ladder, and she shoves the ladder into Torbevito and he falls against the railing. Nabooru then gets the ladder in the ring, but Volga CLUBS Nabooru on the back. Volga and Nabooru brawl, throwing body shots and forearms. Volga gets the edge, then hits a ROLLING ELBOW! Volga then turns Nabooru around, BLINDSIDE ROLLING ELBOW! Nabooru tumbles out of the ring and Volga gets the ladder! Fans boo as he starts setting the ladder up, but Rosso gets up. Rosso storms over but Volga kicks him first. Volga throws forearms to put him in the corner.

Volga CHOPS, but Rosso doesn’t even flinch. Rosso brushes his chest off, then DOUBLE CHOPS Volga! Volga falls over and Rosso steps over him to go to the ladder. Rosso positions it under the prize, a clipboard with the title contract, but then Torbevito springboards in! Torbevito lands right onto the ladder and starts climbing! Rosso sees that, and he hurries to tip the ladder over! Torbevito falls and hotshots off the ropes! Rosso then pops Torbevito up for a GORON DROP! Rosso gets the ladder again, but now Volga and Nabooru get back in. They both go after Rosso with forearms and CLUB him to a corner.

Volga and Nabooru stomp Rosso, then they double whip him into the ladder! Rosso and the ladder fall over, and then Rosso lands on the ladder! Rosso checks his face, and he ends up inside the ladder. Volga and Nabooru coordinate and they set up on opposite sides. They double basement dropkick the ladder closed on Rosso! Volga stomps Rosso while Nabooru drags the ladder away. Nabooru folds up the ladder and puts it in the corner. Nabooru turns around and Volga sucker punches her! Volga scoops to BACKBREAKER! Volga goes to get the ladder Nabooru just put in the corner and brings it back to center.

Torbevito dropkicks the ladder into Volga! Volga falls and the ladder hits ropes. The ladder stays there and Volga hurries out of the ring. Torbevito goes rung by rung up the ladder to then DIVE onto Volga! Talk about an escalera! Fans fire up with Torbevito and he hurries back into the ring. Torbevito stands the ladder up and starts to climb, but Nabooru CLUBS him on the back. Nabooru brings him back down, dragon sleepers, but Torbevito jumps up and over to turn it around onto Nabooru! Nabooru powers through to turn it back around on Torbevito! Torbevito grabs at ropes but Nabooru drags him away!

But then Rosso grabs Nabooru in a waistlock! Nabooru lets Torbevito go as Rosso GERMAN SUPLEXES her away! The ladder wobbles from the impact on the mat but it stays up. Rosso positions the ladder under the contract again but Torbevito jumps on his back for a SLEEPER! Rosso’s got a pretty meaty neck, though. Rosso reaches for Torbevito but Torbevito climbs up Rosso to go for the ladder! Rosso brings Torbevito away in an Electric Chair Lift, and he SLAMS him down onto Nabooru! Rosso then goes to the ladder as fans fire up. Rosso starts to climb, but Volga gets in with a chair! Volga SMACKS Rosso on the back!

Fans boo Volga while Rosso drops off the ladder. Volga SMACKS Rosso on the back again, and again, and again! Volga kicks Rosso into a corner, then digs the chair into him chest! Rosso grabs for Volga but Volga stays just out of reach, then he stomps Rosso again. Volga then puts the chair in Rosso’s face while digging both boots in! Volga then swings to dropkick the chair into Rosso’s face! Volga turns around, into Nabooru JAMMING him with another ladder! Nabooru sets the ladder down, drags Volga onto it, then positions it in a drop zone. Nabooru goes to the corner, and SUNSET SENTONS onto Volga and ladder!

Fans fire up and Nabooru goes back to the first ladder. Her back’s slowing her down a little as she climbs, and Torbevito anchors her leg. Nabooru kicks him away, but he comes back to CLUB her on the back. Torbevito drags Nabooru down, CLUBS her again, but Nabooru throws body shots back. Rosso gets up and he POUNCES them both into the ladder!! Fans lose their minds as the ladder topples over with Torbevito and Nabooru! Rosso picks the ladder up, and finds it’s all bent and crooked. He stands it up but doesn’t like how it wobbles so he dumps it out of the ring. Rosso spots the other ladder and pushes Volga off it.

Rosso stands this ladder up, but sees it’s considerably shorter than the first ladder. He climbs up, goes to the highest rung and can only paw at the contract. Volga gets under Rosso! Volga manages a POWERBOMB!! Fans are torn, some are losing their minds, “HOLY S*IT!” while the others go, “YOU STILL SUCK!” Starts to sound like they’re saying “HOLY SUCK!” or “YOU STILL S*IT!” Volga picks up the short ladder and he RAMS Nabooru down with it! Then he RAMS Torbevito down with it! Volga puts this ladder sideways on the second rope then drags Torbevito up. Volga SMACKS Torbevito off the rungs!

Volga puts Torbevito up onto the ladder, then climbs up to join him. It’s a bit risky up there, the ropes aren’t exactly stable. Volga drags Torbevito up, but Torbevito fights the clinch with elbows! Torbevito steadies himself, then causes Volga to slip through the gaps! The Dragon Knight falls on his sword, so to speak! Torbevito then steps over Volga to jump and give Nabooru a FLYING CODE BREAKER!! Fans go nuts all over again, and Torbevito hurries out to get another ladder! He gets it in the ring and hurries to stand it up. Wait, is that Shabonne running down the ramp? What’s she doing coming out here?

Shabonne gets on the apron but refs tell her to go away. Shabonne keeps shouting at Torbevito, and TALI gets in from the crowd side! Tali BELT SHOTS Torbevito with the Death Mountain title! Fans boo Tali as she says, “Sorry ’bout that, Turbo!” Tali then coaches up Nabooru. Nabooru gets up and is very confused. And then she’s very upset, perhaps even offended. Nabooru SLAPS Tali, and fans go nuts again! Tali is furious now, and she picks Nabooru up for a SPINEBUSTER! Tali rains down furious fists on Nabooru but Nabooru kicks Tali away. Nabooru gets up and fires off in return, and they tumble out of the ring!

Nabooru ROCKS Tali with a forearm, then whips, only for Tali to reverse! Nabooru crashes into railing! Tali runs in, but Nabooru moves, and Tali crashes through the railing! Fans lose their minds as Tali ends up down in the walkway! Nabooru hobbles to the ring and slides in, but into Volga’s BURNING STOMP! Volga hurries to the ladder that’s still standing and starts climbing! Fans boo, but Rosso is crawling up the other side! Volga reaches the top and reaches out for the prize, but Rosso rises up right in Volga’s face! Rosso grabs Volga by the head to HEADBUTT! Then Rosso drags Volga up and over to fireman’s carry! SUPER LANDSLIDE!!

Fans lose their minds all over again as Rosso and Volga crash down! That impact causes the ladder to shake and tilt over on its own! Rosso sets the ladder back up, fans rally up, and Rosso climbs up. But Torbevito SMACKS Rosso with a chair! Torbevito is back and he climbs up over Rosso! Torbevito gets on the ladder, but Rosso grabs at Torbevito’s legs! Torbevito kicks at Rosso, then turns around. Torbevito reaches down and kicks off the ladder to WHIRLPOOL DDT Rosso down!! Torbevito then hurries back up the ladder! Fans fire up and Torbevito reaches the top! Torbevito brings down the contract and wins!

Winner: Torbevito (NEW #1 Contender to the HPW Death Mountain Championship)

The Son of the Whirlpool stands tall! Even after Tali tried to make sure he lost, Torbevito wins and is now going to challenge her for the title! Will Torbevito look to wash the Dame of the Dunes away? Or will he fail to climb Death Mountain?


Blood & Thunder Advantage Triple Threat: Ganondorf VS Riju VS Iron Knuckle!

As announced just ten days ago, HPW ThunderStruck will see a HUGE Triple Threat Trios match for the titles in a double ring, double cage match! But first, that requires a team to win advantage and determine entry order! Who gets the upper hand going into that historic match?

To keep things fair, only these three participants are allowed ringside. Fans boo Ganondorf and cheer Riju. Ganondorf taunts Knuckle that no one cares about him one way or another. The bell rings and Knuckle ROCKS Ganondorf with a forearm! Fans fire up as Knuckle fires off on Ganondorf against the ropes! Riju hangs back and Knuckle whips Ganondorf. Ganondorf reverses to reel Knuckle in for a Belly2Belly! Cover, TWO! Ganondorf sees Riju standing in the corner and he storms over! Riju bails out, Ganondorf pursues and they go around the ring in a game of cat ‘n’ mouse!

Riju slides into the ring but Ganondorf gets her by the leg! Ganondorf drags Riju out and throws her into railing! Ganondorf rains down rights and fans boo, especially the front row! The ref reprimands and Ganondorf lets off, but he turns around into Knuckle’s DIVE!! Knuckle hits Ganondorf into railing with a tope suicida! Riju’s back in the ring and she PLANCHAS! But Knuckle catches her easily! “Really?” Knuckle carries Riju as he goes up the steel steps, then he TOSSES Riju into the ring! Riju flounders and Knuckle stalks her to a corner. Knuckle stomps a mudhole into Riju, then digs his boots into her.

Knuckle sees Ganondorf getting in the ring, so Knuckle storms over and throws forearms. Ganondorf throws forearms back, they go back and forth, but Knuckle knees low. Knuckle runs and rams shoulders with Ganondorf, but Ganondorf stays up. Knuckle runs again and rams shoulders again, but Ganondorf still stays up. Ganondorf eggs Knuckle on, so Knuckle runs again. Knuckle rams shoulders with Ganondorf again, Ganondorf staggers back and rebounds, and he rams Knuckle back! Knuckle rebounds, but Ganondorf gets around and waistlocks! Knuckle blocks the lift and switches.

Ganondorf resists the lift, throws back elbows, then runs. Knuckle finally runs Ganondorf over with a shoulder! Fans fire up with Knuckle, but then Ganondorf kips up! Ganondorf and Knuckle stare down, but it’s hard to tell if Knuckle is glaring because of his mask. Ganondorf throws a forearm, Knuckle forearms back, and fans rally again as they pick up speed. Knuckle ROCKS Ganondorf, ROCKS him again, then shoves him back. Ganondorf rebounds off ropes and Knuckle fireman’s carries for a GORON DROP! Cover, TWO, and Ganondorf drags Knuckle into a ghost pin! TWO, Ganondorf BOOTS Knuckle down!

Ganondorf roars but Riju gets in with a chair! She SMACKS him in the back of the leg! Ganondorf hobbles and Riju SMACKS him again! Ganondorf goes to a corner, Riju SMACKS Knuckle while he’s down! The fans are going nuts and Riju is fired up! Riju aims at Ganondorf again but Ganondorf BOOTS her down first! Ganondorf kicks the chair away then drags Riju up. Ganondorf pops Riju up, but she RANA- NO, Ganondorf blocks her counter! Ganondorf swings her back up, but Knuckle JAMS him in the gut with a chair! Ganondorf falls back and Riju ends up giving him a seated senton! Riju uses that to cover, but Knuckle kicks her off!

Knuckle SMACKS Ganondorf with the chair while he’s down, then SMACKS Riju in the back! Riju falls out of the ring, and Knuckle puts the chair on Ganondorf’s chest, before he steps on it! Knuckle then runs to drop a SENTON onto chair and Ganondorf! Cover, TWO! Knuckle stomps Ganondorf, then gets the chair again. Knuckle stands the chair up, drags Ganondorf over and SMACKS Ganondorf off the seat. Knuckle shoves Ganondorf’s head through the gap, and then he aims for a corner. The ref reprimands, but there’s no disqualifications, so this is more about Ganondorf’s physical livelihood!

Knuckle starts aiming for the corner but Ganondorf reverses to send Knuckle into the corner! Ganondorf pulls off the chair, and he’s furious! “You were really gonna go that far?!” Ganondorf reels back but Knuckle blocks the headshot! They fight over the chair, and Riju gets a ladder in the ring! That must be a leftover from the opener. Knuckle shoves Ganondorf away and he has the chair back, Riju JAMS Knuckle in the gut with the ladder! Riju swings the ladder and gets Ganondorf in the side! Riju JAMS Knuckle again and Knuckle falls over. Knuckle gets out of the ring, Riju aims at Ganondorf. Riju RAMS Ganondorf into the corner and then digs the ladder in!

Fans rally as Ganondorf endures the ladder pushing into him. Ganondorf powers up and he pushes Riju back! Riju puts the ladder down and walks up it! She KICKS Ganondorf in the face! Ganondorf staggers back into the corner, but Knuckle drags Riju out of the ring! Knuckle URENAGES Riju onto the announce desk! Fans lose their minds as the table stays together! Knuckle gets back in the ring and he fires off on Ganondorf in the corner. Knuckle whips corner to corner and runs in, but Ganondorf gets around and rolls Knuckle up! TWO, deadlift GANON BOMB!! Cover, Riju springboards and ULTIMATE ELBOW DROPS onto Ganondorf!! Cover, RIJU WINS!!

Winner: Riju, by pinfall (Desert Flower gains Blood & Thunder advantage)

The smallest competitor in the match comes away with the biggest win! The Desert Flowers will have the advantage in defending their HPW Trios Championships, but will that still be enough to win a first-of-its-kind match?


Trios Match: Link, Zelda & ??? VS The UnderWorld Order!

In a special exhibition, the Hero and Princess of Hyrule team up again, against Death Sword, Gomess & Hollywood ReDead. But they of course need a partner for a proper 3v3! So who did they get? It’s the SKYFALL STUD! Groose, with Tingle accompanying him, joins Link & Zelda! Will these three stand tall against the spooky, scary wrestling reapers?

The trios sort out, and Groose insists he start. Link and Zelda oblige, and Groose stares down Death Sword. Fans rally up, the two circle, and then the two tie up. They go around, end up on ropes, then end up in a corner. Death Sword grinds forearms into Groose’s face but the ref reprimands and counts. Death Sword lets off slowly, then he stomps Groose in the gut! The ref reprimands again but Death Sword stomps more. Death Sword digs his boot in, the ref counts and Death Sword lets off at 4. Death Sword drags Groose up and over to the uWo corner, tag to Gomess. They mug Groose, then Gomess CLUBS Groose down.

Gomess puts Groose on ropes and he digs his knee into Groose to choke him! The ref counts, Gomess lets off at 4, then he kicks the ropes to jam Groose! Groose coughs and sputters, Gomess drags him by a leg. Gomess turns Groose over for a HALF CRAB! Groose endures, even as Gomess sits deep! Fans rally, Groose reaches out, crawls over, ROPEBREAK! Gomess holds until 4, then he lets go to tag Death Sword back in. Death Sword hops down from the apron to drag Groose out of the ring. Death Sword RAMS Groose into the apron, then throws him into railing! Fans boo but Death Sword BOOTS Groose down!

The ring count starts, Groose flounders but Death Sword BOOTS him down again. Death Sword refreshes the count at 5 of 10, then drags Groose up. Death Sword whips Groose hard into railing! Then Death Sword runs in to BOOT Groose over the railing! Fans in the front row get even closer to the action and they’re all fired up! Death Sword goes back to the ring, and the ring count starts again. The fans rally up and Groose drags himself up at 3 of 10. Groose makes it over the railing but Death Sword tags ReDead. ReDead CLOBBERS Groose while Death Sword and Gomess attack Link and Zelda!

Fans boo but the uWo stomps and CLUBS Groose and the champions! Tingle protests but Death Sword DECKS him! Fans boo harder while ReDead puts Groose in the ring. ReDead stomps Groose, Death Sword POSTS Link, and Gomess dumps Zelda over railing! The uWo regroups as ReDead pushes Groose into the corner. ReDead stomps Groose, digs his boot in, then tags Gomess. Gomess taunts Groose, telling him to tag, but then pretending to be surprised that Link and Zelda aren’t at the corner. Gomess then drags Groose up to scoop and SLAM! Then a JUMPING ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!

Gomess clamps onto Groose’s arm, grinds the shoulder, but fans rally as Groose endures. Groose fights up, reaches for his corner, but Gomess wrenches the arm to a wristlock. Groose throws a forearm, but Gomess holds on. Gomess YANKS the arm, whips Groose into the uWo corner, and runs in, only for Groose to dodge! Gomess hits buckles but Death Sword tags in! Groose hurries to the other corner, hot tag to Zelda! Zelda dodges Death Sword to dropkick ReDead off the apron! Zelda runs back at Death Sword and tilt-o-whirls to headscissor Death Sword to a corner! Zelda then runs corner to corner to dropkick him down!

Fans fire up with Zelda as she drags Death Sword to center. Zelda steps through and hooks up the legs, but Death Sword kicks her away. Death Sword swings a punch but Zelda gets under and around to chicken wing. Death Sword fights off the crossface, then whips Zelda away. Zelda holds ropes, Death Sword runs in but she ducks and his boot gets caught up on the top rope! Zelda GAMANGIRIS and Death Sword gets stuck on the rope! Zelda tags Link, and he goes around Death Sword to waistlock while Zelda goes up top. Fans fire up, METEORA GERMAN SUPLEX to the apron!! Just like two years ago!

Link and Zelda still take hard landings, with Link checking the back of his head while Zelda checks her nose. Fans are losing their minds while Link and Zelda realize they’re both okay. Link hurries to get Death Sword up but he’s deadweight. Zelda helps out and they get Death Sword in. Link drags Death Sword from the ropes to cover, but both Gomess and ReDead break it! Groose and Zelda rush in to brawl with ReDead and Gomess! Zelda fires off a new strike fest, Gomess ducks the roundhouse but not the ENZIGURI! ReDead puts Groose on the apron but Groose ducks his haymaker to HOTSHOT him!

Zelda gives ReDead a HYLIAN KISS HEADBUTT! Groose drags ReDead out of the ring for a RIGHT HAND OF THE GODDESS! Fans fire up as Groose and Zelda regroup with Link in the ring. Death Sword staggers up, Link HOOK SHOTS him! Zelda hops on for a POISON-RANA! Death Sword sits up in a daze, Groose hooks his arms and turns him! LOFTWING DRIVER! Link covers, but ReDead gets in with a chair! He SMACKS Link on the back, and then he HEADSHOTS Groose!

Winners: Link, Zelda & Groose, by disqualification

Fans boo while Zelda goes after ReDead. ReDead shoves Zelda away, then BOOTS her down! ReDead runs to drop the DEAD LEG! Tingle runs in, but Gomess intercepts! Gomess knees Tingle low, then gut wrenches him up to the crucifix! RAZOR’S EDGE! Then ReDead drops a DEAD LEG on Tingle! ReDead gets up and shouts “IIIII’M THE MAAAAAN~!” Fans boo harder but ReDead drags Link out to center, and he runs to drop another DEAD LEG! Death Sword gets up, and he grabs the HPW Triforce Championship from the timekeeper. Then he goes under the ring, and brings out a can of spray paint!

Death Sword gets in the ring, he puts the title down on top of Link, and he lets ReDead have the spray paint. “Arrow Club wants everything, huh? They better get in line! Because this is still the UnderWorld Order’s new empire!” And then, with that spray paint, ReDead vandalizes the Triforce Championship!! Will the Hero of Hyrule make the uWo pay for this?

HyruleProWrestling TriforceChampionshipUWOedition


HPW Termina Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Igos du Ikana VS Osphala!

Fin Balure took this title from the Gleaming Yellow Light, who took it from the Ruler of Ruin. But before either former champion can go after the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla, they have to settle things with each other. The Ikana Royal Family is staying in the back, but will Igos still be able to win on his own? Or will Osphala be heading back for the gold?

The referee has to keep the two apart before the bell. It rings, and the two stares daggers as fans duel. Osphala and Igos approach, Osphala talks to Igos then SLAPS him. Igos boots Osphala! Then fires off furious body shots! Osphala throws Igos out then slingshots, but Igos dodges to roundhouse Osphala off his feet! Igos throws more hands, but Osphala runs into the ring. Igos follows but misses in the corner. Osphala CHOPS, then dodges the kicks to throw jabs. Osphala taunts Igos as he dodges and ducks. Igos kicks but Osphala gets clear, and Osphala grins as he copies the cross-leg sitting. Igos kicks but Osphala rolls him up for a school boy kick!

Igos goes to a corner, Osphala runs in and chops Igos, but then Igos goes after him! Osphala dodges again and throws hands. Fans are thunderous as Igos goes to another corner. Osphala keeps on him, then whips. Igos rolls off Osphala’s back to then throw more hands. He fakes Osphala out to hit a knee lift. Igos blocks a punch to give more knees, kicks, elbows, and one more knee! Ikana Rush! Osphala bails out, Igos runs, but he fakes Osphala out to springboard back and sit cross-legged. But Osphala knew it, and runs in to boot Igos! Osphala stomps a mudhole into Igos, then backs off as the ref counts 4.

Osphala soaks up cheers and jeers, then goes back to Igos for more kicks. Osphala drags Igos up, suplexes but Igos counters. Osphala slips out and rolls Igos up, TWO, so he rolls Igos into the seated surfboard! Igos endures as Osphala pulls back on his arms! Fans rally up, and Igos pries an arm free. Osphala shifts but Igos counters his Magistrol, TWO! Igos gets caught into an elbow drop DDT! Cover, ONE!! Osphala keeps his cool, and stomps Igos’ hand! Osphala scrapes Igos’ face, then puts him in a corner. Osphala throws more CHOPS, Igos blocks and throws haymakers! Osphala kicks and whips corner to corner but Igos reverses.

Osphala goes up and over, rolls Igos for the school boy kick but misses. Igos misses his sliding knee and gets a forearm, but then he sweeps the legs! Osphala rolls out, but Igos builds speed. Osphala expects a fake-out and runs in, into a boot! Osphala falls back out, and Igos FLIES?! Direct hit! Fans fire up with the Ruler of Ruin as Igos puts Osphala back in the ring. Igos stalks Osphala to a corner, and fires off kick after kick. Igos whips Osphala to ropes, then sweeps the legs again, to hit double knees! He keeps going and springboards to QUEBRADA! Cover, TWO! Osphala survives but Igos keeps his cool.

Osphala gets to another corner and Igos storms over. Igos elbows Osphala, snapmares Osphala down, then goes up top. Osphala ROCKS Igos first and Igos hops down to the apron. Osphala swings a punch, Igos blocks it and counter punches! Igos gets in, waistlocks, but Osphala blocks the German Suplex. Osphala throws elbows to get free and then throws forearms. Osphala runs, but into a ROUNDHOUSE! Osphala tumbles out of the ring, Igos runs, TRIANGLE JUMP PLANCHA! But Osphala dodges, gets back in the ring and builds speed to DIVE for a tornado DDT! Osphala puts Igos in while fans lose their minds! SLINGSHOT DDT! Cover, TWO!!

Fans go nuts as Osphala almost had Igos there! Fans rally up as Osphala wipes the sweat from his brow. Osphala stands on wobbly legs, but he still drags Igos back up. Osphala CHOPS, then KICKS a leg. Osphala KICKS again, then again, but Igos blocks it to hit a back elbow! Igos runs, but into an ENZIGURI! Osphala runs, but into Igos’ BOOT! Igos runs, but into a SUPERKICK! DOUBLE LARIATS collide, but neither falls! Igos fires off boxing elbows! Igos KICKS Osphala in the chest! Osphala ducks the next kick, then jumps the leg sweep! Igos dodges Osphala’s kick, but Osphala blocks his kick to KICK the leg!

Osphala wrenches an arm and reels Igos in, but Igos wrenches out for a JUMPING KNEE! Osphala rebounds to SUPERKICK! Both men are down but the fans give a standing ovation! Both men stir, and Osphala crawls to ropes. Osphala gets on the apron, Igos storms over. Osphala blocks a punch to throw a punch, but Igos throws a forearm! Osphala forearms back, Igos forearms again, and fans rally up as they go back and forth, faster and faster! Osphala ROCKS Igos, but Igos BOOTS Osphala! Osphala holds on, Igos runs, and catches the slingshot spear! KICK and DRAPING NECKBREAKER!

Osphala flounders up, ROUNDHOUSE to GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! Fans chant “This is Awesome!” but it’s far from over! Igos stands first but Osphala slowly follows. Igos runs in but misses the knee. Igos comes back but Osphala blocks a kick, and spins Igos for a DISCUS clothesline! Osphala runs, tilt-o-whirl, and he gets the arms! SAND- NO, Igos flails to resist, then he trips Osphala for a jackknife! TWO!! Igos sweeps, Osphala leaps over again, BUZZSAW! Osphala scoops Igos, LAWN DART! Igos hits buckles and staggers, but then he sits cross-legged. And then dares Osphala to finish him! He wants to see the Gleaming Yellow Light’s darkness!

Osphala snarls and glares at Igos, and he runs in, but Igos ducks the Penalty Kick to roll Osphala up! But Osphala rolls through to SUPERKICK! Then arm wrench and SAND ROD!! Cover, TWO!?! Igos survives and shocks Osphala! Central Hyrule hopes they “Fight Forever!” but there must be a winner! Osphala drags Igos up by his hair, and keeps insisting he’s a hero. Osphala gives Igos heavy forearms! Igos still sits up, so Osphala brings him up for more. Igos fires back, and now we brawl! Osphala forearms, Igos forearms, and repeat. Then they hit at the same time! Igos gets the edge with furious hands from all sides! Osphala gives forearms from all sides back!

Osphala ROCKS Igos, but Igos SPIN BACK KICKS! Igos springboards but Osphala shoves him out! Osphala builds speed, and DIVES, into a knee!! Both men are down on the outside as fans lose their minds! Igos sits up first as the ring count climbs. He hobbles over to Osphala and puts him in. Igos follows, lifts Osphala with a foot, and swings, but Osphala makes it a roll up! TWO!! SAND CASTLE!! Igos is stuck in the hold, and he scrambles for ropes! Osphala rolls him away! Igos reaches back for Osphala, gets him by an ear, and then by his hair! The ref reprimands but Igos SLAMS Osphala’s head off the mat! Osphala is rocked, and the hold is released!

Igos takes a knee pad down, and hits Osphala with bare knee in the chest! Osphala gasps and sputters while fans are thunderous! Igos lifts Osphala up again, for the ELEGY OF EMPTINESS! Igos lets Osphala lean against him to keep him standing! Because he gives Osphala a SECOND ELEGY OF EMPTINESS!! Cover, Igos wins!!

Winner: Igos du Ikana, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the HPW Termina Championship)

The Gleaming Yellow Light may have just been put out! The Ruler of Ruin earns his title match with Fin Balure, but will he take back the Termina title? Or will the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla stay golden in the Spring?


Triforce Tournament Triple Threat Finals: Kage VS Hilda VS Ravio!

And finally, the finale of the Triforce Tournament. The Bracket of Power has the Hero’s Shadow, but the Brackets of Wisdom and Courage flashback to last year as Her Grace and #Murusagi are back again. Will Hilda and Ravio find a way to repeat history? Or will Kage leave them in the dark as he goes after Link again?

Well it’s pretty clear Hilda and Ravio are working together, they make their entrance together. Cia wants to be ringside for Kage but Tiger Sahasrahla won’t let her. Cia protests because it’s very obvious this is more 2v1 than a Triple Threat, but Sahasrahla still insists she leave. Kage doesn’t seem fazed at all as he stares down Ravio and Hilda as Cia leaves. The bell rings and Kage rushes them! Ravio hurries out of the ring while Hilda moves out of the way, and Kage goes out after Ravio! It’s cat ‘n’ mouse as Ravio goes up and over steel steps and back into the ring, only for Kage to cut him off! Ravio dodges Kage’s clothesline and Hilda dropkicks Kage!

Kage ends up in a corner and Hilda hurries to stomp Kage down while fans boo. Ravio joins in and they keep stomping a mudhole into Kage. Hilda and Ravio then both get on the corner to gloat. But then Kage gets up under them! He cares them both out on his shoulders! Triforce of Power indeed! But then Ravio and Hilda both sunset flip! Double high stack! TWO! Kage gets free, and avoids the argument of who would’ve gotten that win. Hilda stomps Kage, then she and Ravio each get a leg. They split the wishbone! Then they double basement dropkick Kage back down! Hilda covers, TWO!

Hilda stomps Kage down then drops an elbow. Cover, ONE, but Hilda clamps on an arm. Kage endures and fans rally, but Ravio unties buckle pads. Ravio wants Hilda to whip Kage into the bare corner, so Hilda drags Kage up. Hilda wrenches and whips, but Kage reverses! Ravio gets in the way, and Hilda ends up sandwiching Ravio between her and buckles! Hilda runs at Kage but Kage side steps and reels her into a full nelson! Hilda blocks the lift, breaks free, but then Kage has the arms for a STRAITJACKET GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, but Ravio breaks it! Ravio brings Kage up and whips him into the bare buckles!

Ravio runs in and RAMS his shoulder into Kage! Hilda gets up and she KICKS Kage in the face! Ravio RAMS in again, Hilda KICKS again, and repeat! Fans boo but Ravio and Hilda let off. Ravio and Hilda double wrench Kage, double whip him corner to corner, then Hilda runs in to dropkick Kage down! Ravio then runs in to CANNONBALL! Ravio drags Kage to center, but Hilda pushes him aside to cover, TWO! Hilda gets upset with Ravio for not bringing him to center faster, and then she stomps Kage more. Hilda and Ravio drag Kage up, they double wrench and double knee him low. They reel him in for a double suplex!

Hilda traps Kage’s arms and goes for the stump puller, but Kage fights against that. Kage pushes back to trip Hilda to a cover, ONE! Kage gets up and DECKS Ravio! Fans fire up while Hilda realizes she’s in danger! Hilda tries to crawl away but Kage gets her legs. Kage reels her into a wheelbarrow, but Hilda uses that to victory roll! TWO, Hilda rebounds off ropes to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Hilda throws a fit and shouts at Ravio. She gets Ravio up and tells him to get things. Ravio goes out and looks under the ring. He brings out chair after chair and puts them in the ring. Hilda uses one chair to SMACK Kage on the back!

Hilda SMACKS Kage again, and then SMACKS him again! Ravio sets up a chair square while Hilda digs the chair into Kage’s neck! Fans boo, Hilda lets off and drags Kage up. Hilda and Ravio coordinate and try to double suplex again, but Kage fights against it. They keep trying and he keeps resisting. Kage knees Ravio low then snap suplexes Hilda! Kage kips up and he pops Ravio up to a fireman’s carry! BOMBOS MEDALLION onto the chair square! Fans lose their minds while Ravio writhes! Kage makes Ravio sit up on the back two chairs, then he takes one of the other chairs, and he SMACKS Ravio on the back!

Ravio falls forward, Kage turns around as Hilda rushes up, but she stops as Kage aims the chair at her! Hilda wants mercy, and Kage does hesitate. Kage throws the chair aside, but he steps forward towards Hilda. But Ravio manages to anchor Kage’s foot! Kage rains down fists but Ravio holds on. Hilda ENZIGURIS! Kage wobbles, Ravio makes him take a seat in one of the other chairs, and then DRAGON SCREWS the leg! Hilda then rushes in to facelock and drag Kage down into a cradle! TWO! Hilda is frustrated and she drags Kage up. Hilda hammerlocks and facelocks, but Kage RAMS her into the bare buckles!

Kage SUPERKICKS Ravio, whips Ravio to the other corner, then runs in to corner clothesline! Kage headlocks and runs at Hilda, BULLDOG DROPKICK COMBO! Fans fire up with Kage and he drags Hilda up. FALCON ARROW onto Ravio! Kage covers Ravio, TWO! Kage gets Ravio’s leg, drags him to a drop zone, and Kage goes up top. But Hilda trips Kage up! Kage gets stuck up top, and Hilda GAMANGIRIS! Hilda drags Kage off and shouts to Ravio. Ravio hurries over, Electric Chair Lifts Kage up and Hilda goes up the corner. Fans fire up as Hilda leaps, but Kage POWERSLAMS out of Doomsday!! Ravio realizes what happened and he kicks Kage off the cover!

Hilda staggers up and Ravio checks on her. She says she’s fine, and so Ravio goes back for Kage, only for Kage to HEADSHOT him with a chair! Ravio goes down, Kage swings on Hilda this time but Hilda gets around him! POISON-RANA! But Kage falls out of the ring! Hilda is furious, but then she sees unconscious Ravio. She looks back to Kage on the outside, and then she scrambles over to Ravio. Hilda covers Ravio, TWO!! Fans laugh and Hilda smacks Ravio on the shoulder. “It’s me, you idiot!” Ravio looks up and sees it’s Hilda, and he’s immediately sorry. He apologizes to Hilda and she tells him to lie back down.

Ravio nods and lies back on the mat. Hilda sits on him for the cover, TWO!? Ravio bridges up and Hilda tumbles off, and she stares at him furiously as he drops back down. “What’re you doing?!” He apologizes, she covers with a lateral press this time, but he’s already bridging up! “Stop it!” Hilda CHOPS him on the chest and he falls back down! Cover, TWO! Hilda is fuming and she smacks Ravio around! Kage returns to basement dropkick Hilda away! Ravio reaches out for Hilda but Kage drags him up in a full nelson, SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Ravio sits up in a daze, Kage drags him up, Hilda gets on the apron. Kage RAMS Ravio into Hilda!

Hilda falls back down, Kage reels Ravio in and Electric Chair Lifts him. FOLDING DRIVER!! Or as Kage wants to call it, THE DARK CLOUD! Cover, Kage wins!

Winner: Kage, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the HPW Triforce Championship)

Speaking of a dark cloud, one now hangs over HPW! Kage has taken down Hilda and Ravio, and is now poised to go after the Hero of Hyrule again! King Nicolas Foolyere appears to hand Kage the Triforce Tournament Trophy.


Kage doesn’t smile, but he does hold the trophy high in the air. From Mr. Eventide to the Triforce Tournament winner, will Kage look to become Triforce Champion and make it reign in the Spring?

My Thoughts:

And we begin year three! I might have made it too obvious from Shabonne’s promo a week ago and Tali going after Torbevito that Torbevito was going to win here. Riju wins for the Desert Flowers, go-home math might say they lose but we’ll have to wait and see who wins “Blood & Thunder” aka WarGames. I realized while working on this that I could’ve made this Link, Zelda & Groose VS Arrow Club, but it makes more sense for Groose to help against uWo after the feud the Studly Guys had with them, and obviously we can have more people wanting after the top title. Plus, what better chance to reference nWo spray painting a world title?

Igos wins to take on Fin, that’ll be fun. And then of course Kage wins the Triple Threat. It wasn’t going to be Hilda repeating and Ravio had his title match opportunity at HyruleMania. Kage will get another shot, but it might get complicated with the uWo coming for Link.

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Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #159: Disney’s Bold Move



Bandwagon Nerds
Bandwagon Nerds #159: Disney's Bold Move

This week Dave, Patrick and PC Tunney give their thoughts regarding the huge news out of Disney that Bob Chapek is out as CEO and has been replaced by the returning Bob Iger.  What does it mean for the struggling company and will Iger be able to right the ship?  Plus with the O’Dowds back from Disneyworld, the Little O’Dowd crashes the show to share his Disneyworld experience.  Finally, the Nerds finish their review of Locke and Key Season 3!

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Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reivews: Nickelback – Get Rollin’ (2022)

Many of us have judged them as bottom tier garbage for years! Does the JAR keep this new album in the bin, or is their a light of hope? Nickelback – Get Rollin’ is next up!



As everyone knows, the world has generally passed Judgment on Nickelback as being a steaming pile of garbage. Nickelback is a punchline, the lowest common denominator or the bare bottom measuring stick of tolerance. With that, I figured it would be potentially entertaining to review their most recent album.

The original most hated musical act from Canada until Justin Bieber came around. Depending on who you ask, its still a closely contested battle. But hell, lets just see if this is any good, or will uncrown Three Days Grace as the worst album of the year.

Nickelback is: Chad Kroeger (Lead Vocals & Guitars), Ryan Peake (Guitars & Backing Vocals), Mike Kroeger (Bass), Daniel Adair (Drums & Percussion)

  • Artist: Nickelback
  • Album: Get Rollin’ (2022)
  • Label: Nickelback II/BMG
  • Total Track Time: 41:02

San Quentin is their heavy song that was apparently also the lead single. They’ve dabbled in having heavier songs, first to come to mind is Animals; so with that said, this is tolerable. Its not deep, it just grooves along talking about trying to stay out of San Quentin but still doing irreverent things. Now I doubt its setting a heavier tone for the album, but maybe I’ll be surprised. Skinny Little Missy is a title that makes me cringe and think 70 year old southern men wrote this. So I’m both intrigued and confused from the title alone. Surprisingly it stays a little heavier in the color with distorted guitar and a prominent bass groove, and I don’t hate the chorus; “Skinny little Missy don’t want no boyfriend, Skinny little Missy don’t waste no time, Her pretty little face will never grace your bedroom, ‘Cause skinny little Missy is a friend of mine” – the concept of warning people at the bar is a country trope, but its not terrible. Oh God, the first two songs aren’t bad…am I broken? Did Nickelback get better?

Those Days is…OH GREAT! This is stripped down and cringe sounding. Like super cliché, nothing interesting about the arrangement and it’s basically Photograph but for an old 90s first love. And the lyrics are so simplistic it just makes this hard to tolerate. While the sentiment of pining for an old relationship is not new and has been done a lot just over the albums I covered, a bad arena rock group singing moment, simple words, cringe imagery…adults should not have wrote this. High Time steers into the country vibe, but it also started with a lighter and smoke exhalation sound, so now they think a song about drugs is cool? I’m all for self medication of all types, but this just sounds stupid. This sounds like it could be in a National Lampoons movie, as the picture of someone who doesn’t know what drugs do but has an image in their head. This is so awful. Vegas Bomb is a little bit of a distorted and pedaled riff with a heavy drumbeat and guitar groove. So dammit, this actually has a good sound and could easily be thrown into the background of a bar scene. While I’m a fan of an Irish Car Bomb and a Vegas Bomb isn’t my style…the song achieves what it wants and it’s fairly groovy and solid.

Tidal Wave is a song I wanted to hate at first, but it pivots a different way than I expected. It reminds me more of a Richard Marx or Cannons song. Its stripped down, but has that 80s retro synthwave simplicity and just glides along in the sparse guitars and metronome drum usage. It has that dreamlike vibe and while I don’t love it following up a heavier song since the tone shifts are whiplash inducing but its a good song. Does Heaven Even Know You’re Missing? – the titles of some of these songs made Chad sound like he’s a boomer and not Gen X. “I knew it from the day we met, That I could throw away regret, It doesn’t matter what we do, As long as I can be with you, So come and run away with me, You’re gonna love it, wait and see, Forever we can live like that, ‘Cause I’m never gonna give you back”, is the second verse and its a cute sentiment. Aside from the title and usage in the chorus being a little cliché and eye roll worthy, the song is structured like a Country ballad, think like Lady Antebellum. While I can’t see myself ever spinning this song again, its not a waste of time.

Steel Still Rusts opens with the acoustic guitar strum and it hits like 100% country rock song. It also is a soldier song, getting that across fairly well in the chorus; “Long gone is the praise for those who fought for us, Ashes to ashes, turns out steel still rusts, Stone carved in your name, no one can really trust, Shoulder another soldier they stole from us, Don’t ever bend, don’t ever crawl, Supposed to stand and never fall, Long gone is the praise for those who fought for us, Ashes to ashes, turns out steel still rusts” – so with all of that, if you like Country Rock songs, you won’t find many issues with this one. Horizon is a song that is caught in-between all of the sounds they’ve applied in this album, and executed poorly. While lyrically its a little unique since its a song about two people who are always involved with someone else so they can never be together. Over the next horizon concept is cool, but the music is sandwiched between country rock love song, 80s synth and the bad Nickelback punchline stuff. Standing In The Dark randomly sounds like The Rasmus and then we go into more of country style vocals. So its definitely sonically awkward but no offensive. So yeah, the Gothic Pop Rock elements sounds very European and you’d think Chad’s vocals might not fit, but they kind of do. The song is nothing special, but its not offensive. If this becomes a future single I won’t be shocked. Just One More goes for the 80s echoed vocal style, and I get some Cutting Crew vibes from this song that is basically expressing the urge to die to be with a lover; “Tell me, Lord, where’d my little angel go?, ‘Cause I’m down here alone, If you got room for just one more, Just one more”, the lyrics are somewhat inspired, but the 80s style arrangement takes away the desperation of the plea. So this is a song that I feel loses a lot of efficacy in the arrangement, however its not a bad song if you don’t think too hard about it.

I am in shock, this album was more good than bad, and actually had a few songs that I really enjoyed. Now they’ve always basically been a four chord band, so I’m not expecting triplets, complex runs, signature shifts…but they colored their songs fairly well in this album. Yeah there are a few of their awful cringe pop garbage songs, but there’s only like 3. I will take a few points off since the unlike the Disturbed album from last week, this album’s flow is jagged and awful. Too many tonal shifts from song to song, even if the songs are fairly solid in their own rights.

All that said, this is far from the worst album all year…its mostly positive…so this will end up much higher than I expected. I need to go do some self reflection.

Final Judgement: 6.05/10

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