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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (1/1/18)

Published

6 years ago

on

All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Jason Jordan w/ Seth Rollins VS Cesaro w/ Sheamus; Jordan wins.
  • Bray Wyatt VS Apollo Crews w/ Titus Worldwide; Wyatt wins.
  • Alexa Bliss VS Asuka; Asuka wins.
  • Braun Strowman VS Rhyno VS Heath Slater; Strowman wins.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship, No Champion’s Advantage: Roman Reigns VS Samoa Joe; Reigns wins and retains the IC Championship.
  • Cedric Alexander & Goldust VS The ‘Zo Train; Alexander & Goldust.
  • Finn Balor & The Club VS Elias & The Miztourage; Finn & The Club win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Raw Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss, finds Raw GM, Kurt Angle.

A match with Asuka? Seriously? Well, Angle wanted to start 2018 with a Wrestlemania worthy match. But that’s not fair! He’s rewarding Asuka for her bad behavior. Asuka is already in the Royal Rumble, she doesn’t need to beat Alexa tonight. Alexa isn’t going to change Angle’s mind. If she has a problem, settle it in the ring. And be grateful this isn’t a title match, yet.

Kurt Angle heads to the ring!

The Olympic Gold Medalist greets the WWE Universe with “Happy New Year!” Angle looks back on 2017 as one of his greatest years, and promises to make 2018 even better! Three weeks, Raw has its 25th Anniversary which will lead into the Royal Rumble Pay-Per-View. John Cena has declared his entry into the Men’s Royal Rumble, because yes, there’s a Women’s Royal Rumble. Angle guarantees what the Women’s Rumble rules are, the management decided that what’s good for the men is good for the women! Thirty superstars, over-the-top-rope eliminations, and the winner challenges a Women’s Champion at Wrestlemania. Angle hopes Raw wins both Rumbles, but as far as tonight’s Raw– The Bar comes out!

Forget the Rumble and talk about “The travesty” that occurred on Raw last week! The Bar put up their tag team championships against a new team! What kind of crap is that? The Bar hates favoritism, because Angle gave his son a tag team championship match with Seth Rollins as his partner. Then, what came after was too much. For those who missed it, Kurt Angle came out to celebrate with his son and Seth Rollins. Sheamus is sick to his stomach watching such “favoritism”! Jason Jordan doesn’t deserve to be tag team champion, The Bar wants a rematch. ANgle will give them a rematch when Angle says they get it. How convenient! Jason Jordan comes out in person to respond.

If Jordan doesn’t deserve to be champion, then how come he is champion? Miami chants “Whose your daddy? You still suck!” but Jordan ignores it. Angle doesn’t understand favoritism. Jordan’s title shot was based off his track record. Says the daddy’s boy. Jordan and Rollins still earned the titles. And if Cesaro keeps running his “refurbished mouth”, Jordan will give him a new reason to go to the dentist. Angle keeps the peace, because it’s time to settle things in the ring, right now! And to support his tag team championship partner, Seth Rollins appears!

Or rather, he comes out to scold him. See that “pale Irish idiot” with “the stupid looking mohawk”? Jordan, you’re outnumbered, what good would that do their team? They don’t have to get along, but they are going to worry about each other. Rollins tells Jordan not to be self-absorbed. Jordan bragged in front of his dad, so now Rollins has to come out to be in his corner. But Rollins feels he’s only here to watch Jordan lose. At that, Cesaro blindsides Jordan from behind, and Rollins says “see what I mean?” Can the Gold-Blooded Son turn things around once the match actually starts?

 

Jason Jordan w/ Seth Rollins VS Cesaro w/ Sheamus!

Raw returns with this match in action, Cesaro clobbers Jordan with European Uppercuts in a corner. Cesar whips Jordan corner to corner but JJ goes up and over then slips out of a body drop to dropkick the Swiss Cyborg. TWO, JJ keeps on Cesaro with shoulders in a corner. The referee counts, so Jordan moves Cesaro to an adjacent corner. Cesaro blocks the bump and hits back with more EuroUppers. He then gives JJ a snapmare and chinlock to grind him down. Rollins tries to coach JJ back into things. JJ gets up, fans rally while he fights out. Cesaro whips but is reversed, he ducks to springboard, JJ catches him! Jordan rams Cesaro into a corner, then carries him corner to corner for another. He goes corner to corner again, then a fourth time! Jordan fires up but Sheamus distracts him, Cesaro dodges to send Jordan into buckles and chop blocks the bad leg out!

Rollins chases Sheamus off, but the damage is done. Cesaro brings Jordan up for more EuroUppers, body shots, and then a wrench to the bad leg. He even dropkicks that knee against the ropes! Cesaro smacks the leg against the apron edge before giving Sheamus a high-five. He wrenches JJ’s bad leg at the knee, JJ endures the deep hold. Rollins tries to rally for Jordan, Jordan fights his way out and shoves Cesaro away. Cesaro is back on him, EuroUpper to the leg. Jordan crawls to a corner, Cesaro drags him out for an elbow drop and wrench tot he knee. Cesaro digs in an elbow, Jordan endures as he gives Cesaro crossface punches. Cesaro lets go, then brawls with Jordan. Jordan clobbers Cesaro with a lariat, then hobbles to ropes. He dumps Cesaro to the apron then knocks him down, but Cesaro sweeps the leg! Jordan goes down, Cesaro picks him up for a shinbreaker to the apron!

The Bar celebrates while we go to break.

Raw returns, and now Cesaro baseball dropkicks Jordan out of the ring. Rollins can only watch as Jordan writhes. The Architect tries to coach him back, but Cesaro gets Jordan back in the ring. Cesaro gives Jordan another big EuroUpper, then drags him out for a half-crab to the bad leg.

Jordan endures again, Rollins tries to rally the fans. Jordan rolls over and fights back, but Cesaro keeps him down with forearms. Even so, Jordan kicks with his good leg and gets Cesaro away. Rollins likes what he sees, but another EuroUpper rocks Jordan. Cesaro scoops but Jordan slips out then boots Cesaro down. Sheamus choaches Cesaro while Jordan tries a suplex. The leg won’t allow it, but Jordan still has his arms to knocks Cesaro down. Overhead suplex! And another! Jordan covers, TWO! Rollins likes the heart from Jordan as he runs back into Cesaro. Cesaro fights off the back suplex, but ends up in a Northern Lights!

Roll through, a second Northern Lights! TWO! Rollins rallies for Jordan as he limps over to Cesaro, but Cesaro grabs ropes to deny the suplex. He mule-kicks the bad leg, then Sheamus gets a cheap shot, roll-up, TWO! But into the Half-Crab again! Jordan endures, but it becomes a Full Crab to keep Jordan down. Jordan gets the ropebreak nonetheless! Cesaro tries to give Sheamus another opening, but Rollins intercepts and stomps him out! Back-suplex neckbreaker outta nowhere! Jordan wins! The Gold-Blooded Son celebrates because he earned this one. Even Rollins applauds. Can this makeshift team really last as Raw Tag Team Champions?

 

Backstage interview with Roman Reigns.

The Big Dog and Intercontinental Championship has no Champion’s Advantage in his match against Samoa Joe tonight. As far as Roman’s concerned, Samoa Joe got what he deserved last week for injuring Dean Ambrose. In Roman’s eyes, Joe walks and talks like a punk, which is why Roman “punked him out.” This week will get ugly and intense, but all within the rules. “I hope.” Can Roman rein in his temper and continue to reign as champion?

 

Bray Wyatt VS Apollo Crews w/ Titus Worldwide!

The Eater of Worlds has had problems with the WOKEN Wisdom of Matt Hardy, will he use Titus’ #1 client to take out his frustrations?

The bell rings, the two circle while fans chant “DELETE!” They tie up, Bray puts Crews in a corner. He backs off for a clean break but then runs in to swing. Crews dodges, Bray gives his spider-lean! Crews is startled, but Bray comes out to circle with him. Bray swings, Crews dodges to put on a headlock. Bray stomps on a foot then gives Crews an uppercut before stalking him around the ring. Crews is thrown to the apron but kicks Bray down, slingshot senton and elbow drop, TWO! Crews puts on another headlock to keep the Face of Fear down. Bray powers out, swings but misses, so he uses a running headbutt to knock Crews down. Bray keeps on Crews at ropes, choking him on the middle one. The referee backs Bray off, but Bray returns to keep on Crews and mock Titus’ concern. Bray whips Crews corner to corner, Crews goes up and over. Things speed up as Crews shows off more agility, then he drops Bray with a dropkick. Cover, TWO, Crews keeps on Bray with an arm-wrench. He puts Bray in a corner, Bray puts him on the apron. Crews hits back, climbs up, but Bray rocks him with an uppercut. Bray is mad now, he drags Crews out for a draping jawbreaker! Crews gasps for air while Bray smiles and stalks him. Titus Worldwide cheers Crews on, but Bray torments Crews while grinning at Dana Brooke. We go to break.

Raw returns, Bray still controls the match as he grinds Crews with a chinlock. Titus Worldwide gets the fans rallying, Crews stands up but Bray throws him to ropes. Crews dodges, only to run into Bray’s body check! Cover, TWO, but Bray is not bothered. He kicks Crews while he’s down, stalking him to a corner. Bray grinds Crews’ face against the top rope, then whips him to other ropes. Crews catches him with a shotgun dropkick! Both men are down, Titus Worldwide and the fans rally again. Bray and Crews stand up, Crews gets a mule kick and boot, then hits a jumping lariat to Bray on the run. He kip-ups and hits a standing moonsault, TWO! Bray slips out of the ring, Crews fakes him with a slingshot to then mule kick and ASAI Moonsault!

Bray goes down, Titus fires up and coaches Crews. Crews gets Bray in the ring, stalks him but gets that turn-around lariat! Fans fire up as Bray spider-walks, but Dana gets on the apron. Bray locks his eyes on her, Titus says she needs to hop down. Bray scares her off and she falls on Titus!

But Crews hits Bray with an enziguri! Waistlock, but the SISTER ABIGAIL! Bray wins! But WOKEN Hardy speaks to him from the titantron!

“Ye-e-e-e-es~!” Bray, last week saw Hardy turn the Fireflies into WOKEN WARRIORS. He vows to devour Bray’s darkness within the WWE, to make it into light. Bray is a Consumer of Terrestrial Entities, but he won’t escape the WOKEN WISDOM. Matt is all around Bray, he haunts Bray’s dreams. Once Abigail’s powers are no more, Hardy will DELETE Bray! Many Matts appear on screen to laugh at Bray. Will WOKEN Hardy truly have the last laugh on Bray Wyatt?

 

Alexa Bliss finds Nia Jax.

Can Nia be her corner woman? She’s really worried about facing Asuka tonight. Sorry, but Nia has to take care of Enzo Amore, he’s sick with the flu and is “upset” about not being able to defend his title tonight. Seriously? Alexa needs Nia. But- Alexa can’t believe Nia is being like this. It’s either him or her. Nia apologizes, she needs to get Enzo her soup. Alexa can’t believe this insanity! What will happen to The Goddess when she faces the Empress?

 

Alexa Bliss VS Asuka!

One woman made history by being SmackDown and Raw Women’s Champions in the same year, the other by being the Undefeated NXT Women’s Champion for 523 days. Which woman will start 2018 with a win as the Women’s Division looks to make history at the Royal Rumble?

The bell rings, and Alexa is naturally wary of the still undefeated and still dangerous Asuka. They circle, Alexa dodges the grapple and runs to ropes for safety. Asuka lets her come back out and they circle again. Alexa keeps her distance, but Asuka still grabs an arm. Alexa shoves her away, Asuka spins and Alexa narrowly avoids the back hand. She runs to ropes for safety again before circling with Asuka again.

Alexa gets a waistlock but Asuka turns that around to a wristlock. Alexa reverses that to a hammerlock but theN Asuka reverses it back again. They go back and forth, Asuka gets a waistlock takedown to facelock. Fans are on Asuka’s side as she rolls Alexa to a kneebar! The champion scrambles out and the two return to their feet. Alexa tries a takedown but Asuka counters with a chinlock that shifts to a headlock. Alexa throws Asuka off but asuka stands back up and that scares Alexa back to ropes. Asuka grabs a leg, whips but is reversed, Asuka runs Alexa over. Asuka speeds things up then toys with Alexa as she does a little dance. Things speed up again, hip attack knocks Alexa down! Asuka is confident as ever while Alexa gets out of the ring. The Goddess looks afraid and unsure as she meekly returns to ringside. She wants Asuka to stay back as she enters, the referee obliges, but Alexa still scurries out of the ring again. Fans boo the cowardly Goddess, but Alexa wants nothing to do with the Empress at this point. The referee counts while Alexa sheepishly reenters. Asuka is already upon her, snapmare and a kick to the back. Asuka keeps Alexa grounded, Alexa gets back to ropes. The ref backs Asuka off so Alexa can come back, she just kicks and runs away. The fans boo again while we go to break.

Raw returns, Alexa has Asuka in a bodyscissors. Fans rally for Asuka while she endures the squeeze. Asuka pries her way out and goes for an ankle lock! Alexa screams and crawls but Asuka has it on. She crawls and gets the ropebreak, then yanks Asuka into those ropes. Alexa drags Asuka to the post and bends her back.

The ref counts, Alexa lets go at 4. She returns inside the ring, then stalks Asuka before hammering away. Cover, TWO, Alexa’s frustration is boiling over. She drags Asuka up but Asuka fights back with body shots. Roll-up, TWO, Alexa ducks teh buzzsaw to roll Asuka, TWO! Alexa yanks Asuka into a backbreaker! She clobbers Asuka with more hammer fists and even forearm shots. Another cover, TWO, so Alexa brings it back to a bodyscissors. Asuka endures the squeeze again, fans rally for her again. Alexa pulls on Asuka’s hair but Asuka doesn’t give in. Asuka gets moving again, turns around but Alexa turns things into a guillotine hold. Asuka pries her way out of that into the Kimura Lock! Alexa stands up, ropebreak! Alexa kicks at Asuka’s ribs, then puts her in a corner to stomp a mudhole into her. The ref backs Alexa down, Alexa takes aim and runs in for a screaming slap.

Asuka gets mad and slaps back! Alexa shoves Asuka, Asuka fires up, runs and dropkicks Alexa down. Asuka rallies now, whipping Alexa but reversed, Asuka hops up to hit a missile dropkick! Corner to corner hip attack leads to a snapmare and a running low hip attack! Asuka stalks Alexa, grabs her from behind, but Alexa resists and elbows out. Alexa kicks but Asuka deflects for the pop-up knee to the head! Asuka runs in on Alexa, Alexa trise the sunset flip but Asuka sits, TWO! Alexa dropkicks Asuka out of the ring, then stays in to recover. Asuka climbs back up, Alexa grabs her hair, Asuka roundhouses Alexa back. Alexa staggers, Asuka returns and hits the back heel kick. Armbar takedown!

Alexa taps, Asuka wins! The Empress has defeated the Goddess, will she still have a title shot waiting even if she doesn’t win the Rumble?

 

Backstage interview with Samoa Joe.

Now that there is no Champion’s Advantage, the Destroyer doesn’t even have to defeat Roman Reigns in their Intercontinental Championship match. But don’t worry, JOe will still defeat Roman, just like he has every time he’s faced Roman. The world needs to realize Joe owns Roman Reigns, he has “mentally broken” and exposed Roman Reigns. Roman was once a fighting champion, he and The Shield were going to be champions together again. Joe made damn sure The Shield members are never champions together again. Now Ambrose can be a Stay-at-home Husband living off his wife’s paycheck. Renee Young, being Ambrose’s wife, does her best to laugh that one off. Joe continues, saying that because of Joe, Roman is now the kind of man who uses Champion’s Advantage to his advantage. But now, Roman can’t use that, he has run out of options, friends and time. Joe will put Roman to sleep and become the new IC Champion. It may be Roman’s Yard, but it’s Joe’s World. Will he see his words become reality tonight?

 

Braun Strowman VS Heath Slater w/ Rhyno!

The ManBeast wants to show Slater how it’s done, can he survive the Monster Among Men?

The bell rings, the two tie up, Strowman shoves Rhyno to a corner. Fans still chant “E C Dub!” for Rhyno as he comes back out and ties up again. Strowman still shoves Rhyno off and then roars at him. Slater coaches Rhyno, fans cheer Rhyno on. The two tie up, Rhyno gets a headlock but Strowman powers out and knocks him over with one shoulder. Then Strowman boots Rhyno down! Slater gets on the apron, Strowman scares him back but only for a moment. Strowman goes out and grabs a mic. “Look, you’ve got two options, you cheerleader. Either stay on the floor and shut your mouth, or get in the ring and get these hands like your partner!” The fans chant “YES! YES!” for Slater, so Slater gets up on the apron. He stays back, Rhyno attacks, but it does no damage. So Slater joins in and this suddenly becomes a 2v1 Handicap! The Monster Among Men throws Slater off, then powers Rhyno to a corner. Strowman goes corner to corner to squash each man, then easily gives Rhyno the powerslam! Strowman wins!

But he’s not done. Miami wants another, but Slater runs in to save Rhyno. Slater’s heel kick is swatted away, Slater takes the powerslam! Fans are thunderous, they still want more! Rhyno stands up, and takes a second powerslam for himself! The referee begs Strowman stop here, but he won’t, Slater takes a second powerslam! Now Strowman is done. Has Strowman sent a message to The Beast and the Big Red Machine this close to the Royal Rumble’s Universal Championship Triple Threat? Oh wait, ANOTHER POWERSLAM for Slater & Rhyno each!

 

Seth Rollins talks with Roman Reigns backstage.

The Architect hopes The Big Dog is keeping his cool. Roman is, but Joe is proving himself to be a joke with how he runs his mouth. Hopefully Ambrose is watching, because Roman is going to send a message. Both men are champions, let’s keep it that way. Jordan comes in and says on behalf of Rollins, if The Bar appears, they’ll take them out. “Believe that.” Awkward. But, at least they’re all on the same page. Will The Shield still have the Intercontinental Championship when tonight is through?

 

Braun Strowman walks the halls, when he finds Kane.

The Big Red Machine simply wants to talk. He wants to talk about Brock Lesnar. Kane hasn’t faced Lesnar yet, but Strowman has. These two are the “alpha monsters” of the WWE and they can tame the Beast. Kane has a plan, will Strowman hear him out? Strowman doesn’t care about plans, he is THE Alpha Monster. And when Strowman takes out Lesnar, he’ll do it his way. In that case, Kane leaves Strowman be. Will this rejection come back to haunt the Monster Among Men?

 

Kurt Angle is visited by Finn Balor.

The Extraordinary Man wants to personally tell Angle that, as the inaugural Universal Champion, he will go through the Royal Rumble in order to get a shot at that title. Angle is glad to hear it, but he was thinking this was about something else. Oh, tonight’s Six Man Tag. He has partners, in the Good Brothers!

Because otherwise, it’d just be a couple of “NERDS”. The Club is back together to face The Drifter and the Miztourage, can it be just like old times?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship, No Champion’s Advantage: Roman Reigns VS Samoa Joe!

This rivalry is increasingly personal after what The Destroyer did to the Lunatic Fringe, will this championship match settle things once and for all?

The two men are ready to fight even before the bell, but formal introductions must be made first. Another thing of note is that the referee is the same one from last week’s disqualified match, so he’ll be ready for anything Roman might do. The bell rings and the two rush each other. Joe jabs away on Roman, backing him against the ropes. The ref backs Joe down, Joe comes back to keep on Roman in a corner. Joe brings Roman out, Roman rocks him back with right hands of his own. Roman stomps away, the ref counts and Roman backs off. Fans duel, “Let’s go, Roman!” “Roman sucks!” Roman keeps on Joe as the arena gets loud, but the referee backs him down again. Joe gets Roman with a back suplex in the distraction! Cover, TWO, but Joe keeps his cool. Joe stalks Roman then gives him forearms and a snap suplex.

Roman slips out of the ring for a breather, Joe lets him while we go to break.

Raw returns, Joe has Roman in a cobra clutch. Roman fights his way out, then runs only for Joe to run him over. Cover, TWO, now Joe is frustrated. He stalks the champion, giving him more jabs and even chops. Joe stands Roman up and prepares a suplex but Roman resists, Roman suplexes Joe over! Roman runs at Joe in a corner but Joe dodges and Roman hits buckles. Joe covers, TWO, but Joe keeps his focus. He stomps Roman while he’s down, as well as overhand chops. Joe wrenches Roman’s arm back in a high keylock, Roman endures while fans continue to duel. Roman feeds off a fan rally, getting to his feet and fighting out with big right hands. An uppercut rocks Joe, Roman rallies with clotheslines. Roman whips but Joe wrenches then rocks him with a forearm. Back elbow and Pele! TWO, and Joe is slowly growing frustrated. He looms over Roman at the ropes while fans continue to duel. Joe chokes Roman on the ropes, the referee counts and Joe lets off at 4. Joe brings Roman into a corner and gives him more sharp strikes from those elbows. The referee reprimands Joe, so Joe whips Roman corner to corner hard. Joe grins as he trash talks Roman on the mat.

Joe brings Roman up as fans cheer him on. He whips Roman corner to corner again, just as hard into those buckles. “All day long!” Joe tells Roman. “Remember what I did to Dean?” Joe brings Roman up again and puts him in a seated abdominal stretch. Fans continue to duel, “Let’s go Roman!” “Let’s go Joe!” Joe makes the stretch a half-straitjacket, and Roman fades. Fans rally, Roman revives and fights out with body shots. Joe gives a knee to Roman’s ribs, whips him to the corners again, Roman bounces off to clothesline Joe down! Both men are down, fans rally for them both. Roman crawls over and follows Joe up in a corner. Roman gives Joe those close-range clotheslines, and hits all ten. He runs and boots Joe down, Joe ends up outside the ring.

Roman sees where Joe is, so he slips out and comes around the corner, Drive-By Dropkick! They return into the ring, cover, TWO. Roman and Joe get to their feet, Joe ends up in a corner. Roman throws hands, the referee backs him off, and reminds him there’s no Champion’s Advantage. Joe puts Roman on the apron, forearm, then big body check sends Roman off. Joe runs again, to DIVE! Both men crash down on the outside, the referee starts a ring count. Both men just barely break the count at 9, the match continues but we go to break.

Raw returns again, Joe slaps and headbutts Roman to the mat. Joe circles Roman as he trash talks, then brings Roman up just to knock him down again. Joe toys with Roman, Roman dares Joe to hit him! Roman fires up with every hit, then stands up to hit him back! They brawl, Joe backs Roman down then runs, into a Samoan Drop!

TWO, and Joe gets to ropes. Roman stands up now, glares at Joe from across the ring, then locks and loads. Joe rolls out, knowing what’s coming. The referee keeps Roman in the ring, but Roman still slips out the side, for a jumping- forearm smash from Joe! Joe bounces Roman off the steel steps time and time again, dedicating each hit to The Shield, to Ambrose, and for what Roman did to Joe last week. Joe refreshes the count, then whips Roman but Roman reverses to send Joe into the steps! Roman goes to the steel steps, pulling the top half off, but the referee reminds him of the No Champion’s Advantage.

Joe dares Roman to do it, the referee tries to keep both men from doing any such thing, so Joe sucker punches Roman. Roman uses the steps to springboard for a SUPERMAN PUNCH! They return into the ring, SUPERMAN PUNCH again! TWO! Roman is shocked, fans are raucous and declare “This is Awesome!” The champ gets up, fans fire up, battle cry echoes out but Joe kicks Roman. Roman blocks the yurinagi, Joe throws Roman aside and into the referee! The referee takes offense, but that was a mistake! Roman tries to reason with him, but then Joe runs in, so Roman saves the referee by getting both of them clear. Joe hits buckles, Roman goes for a spear, Joe hits the yurinagi! Cover, TWO! Joe argues with the referee, that had to have been three. Fans are thunderous, Roman gets to a corner, and rocks Joe with an uppercut. Joe ducks on, Coquina Clutch! Roman throws him off, SPEAR outta nowhere! Roman wins and is STILL Intercontinental Champion! Will 2018 be the Year of the Big Dog?

 

Kurt Angle is visited by Paul Heyman.

The Advocate wishes to help the General Manager. There is a conspiracy afoot, in case Angle didn’t know. If Kane and Strowman gang up on Brock Lesnar, Lesnar will be “proactive” as opposed to “reactive”. Heyman vows 2018 is the Year of the Beast.

 

The ‘Zo Train’s Drew Gulak & Ariya Daivari are in the ring.

They are here on behalf of Enzo Amore with a message. “My name is Enzo Amore, and I am a Certified G and a Bonafide Stud, and you can’t teach that.” How are you doing? Not so great, because Enzo has the flu. Therefore, he cannot defend his Cruiserweight Championship. Fans don’t like that. “What do we have over here? A couple of haters!” Had Enzo been healthy, he would’ve wiped the floor with Cedric Alexander. In fact, Enzo wishes he was healthy just so he could tell Alexander off. Wait, Alexander is here to hear this in person. The Carolina Kid was expecting a championship match and competition. But if Enzo is “sick”, who will step up in his place? The ‘Zo Train talks it out, and Gulak tells Alexander that his competition will be in a tag team match. The ‘Zo Train VS Alexander & “anyone who walks down that ramp”. Alexander doesn’t have many friends, so good luck finding someone to team with you. Oh is that so? Goldust is here!

The Bizarre One may not be a Cruiserweight, but they did say “anyone.”

Cedric Alexander & Goldust VS The ‘Zo Train!

Alexander starts against Daivari at the bell. They tie up, Daivari gets a wristlock but Alexander slips and spins out to throw Daivari. Alexander gives Daivari European Uppercuts then whips, but ducks to handspring headscissors and dropkick Daivari down. Gulak is scared off, Daivari pounces in the distraction and throws Alexander into buckles. Daivari drags Alexander up, snapmare to chinlock. Goldust rallies the fans, Alexander feeds off the energy and fights back against Daivari. He powers Daivari back a bit at a time, but Daivari knocks him down. Daivari trash talks Guldust but gets Alexander’s back elbow! Fans rally again, Goldust fires up, and both men crawl. Hot tags to Gulak and Goldie! Goldust rallies on the Philly Fury, bulldog turns into headlock and punches, then the bulldog. Goldust knocks Daivari down, then rocks Gulak with uppercuts. Fans know “You still got it!” even as Gulak reverses the whip, powerslam! Daivari comes in, takes the atomic drop, then Goldust climbs up for a top rope CROSSBODY onto the ‘Zo Train!

Tag to Alexander, springboard clotheslines! Daivari is thrown out, Goldust gives Gulak an uppercut, Lumbar Check! Alexander & Goldust win! Enzo may be out sick, but he’ll have to defend that title sometime. Will 2018 bring us a new Cruiserweight Champion?

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.”

The Drifter is in Miami, and reminds everyone that WWE means “Walk With Elias.” That means everything in the WWE is his, and he wants all of us to Walk With Elias! Elias vows to win the Royal Rumble, main event Wrestlemania, and give the performance of a lifetime. His first performance of the New Year is with the talented artists, Bo Dallas and Curt Axel. Bo brings the cowbell, Axel brings the jingle bells.

They dedicate this song to their hero, who returns next week, The Miz! “Should old acquaintance be forgot,” fans boo Axel’s lack of rhythm and Bo’s horrible whistling. Elias takes it from here… “Well I came to Miami, to see, who wanted to walk~. But no one, who is from here, is not worthy, not even The Rock! This city is filled–”

Finn Balor & The Club VS Elias & The Miztourage!

The Extraordinary Man reunites with old friends to ruin the New Year for a trio of NERDS! Will this New Year be Too Sweet?

Raw returns with the match already in  action. Axel backs Finn into a corner and rams in his shoulders before snapmare and neck snap. Cover, TWO, tag to Elias. The Drifter goes after Finn with a kick to the ribs and a haymaker. Elias whips Finn, Finn kicks back but Elias yanks on that bad arm. Elias gives furious body shots and stomps, the ref backs him down but he doesn’t let up. He drags Finn up, Finn blocks the punch and punches back. Finn reaches for his corner but Elias boots him down, cover, TWO. Elias wrenches Finn’s arm on the mat, The Club rallies for their former leader. The fans rally with them, Finn gets up and reaches but Elias brings him down. The fans chant “Too Sweet! Woop woop!” Finn gets up again, trips up Elias and gives him a double stomp to the chest. Both men crawl for their corners, hot tags to Gallows and Dallas! Gallows rallies on Bo, smacks Axel one, YAKUZA Kick for Bo. Gallows keeps teh rally going, another boot to Bo before a big splash! Elias drags him off the cover, but Anderson throws him out. Bo runs, into another YAKUZA Kick, then Axel runs into an uppercut. Tag to Anderson, tag to Finn, MAGIC KILLER!

Then Anderson DIVES onto Axel! Finn climbs up for COUP DE GRACE! Finn & The Club win! Now that’s too sweet.

 

Miami is now Suplex City!

The Big Red Machine wants to “tame the Beast” with the help of the Monster Among Men, but Strowman turned him down. As such, the Advocate must point out yet another stacked deck against his client, the “reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, BROCK! LESNAR!” Like, seriously? Why else would Lesnar have to defend his championship against challengers, plural. Remember how it used to be? “In this corner, the challenger, singular.” But at the Royal Rumble, it’s Beast VS Monster VS Machine. Lesnar must defend against both Strowman and Kane. Everyone knows this trick, don’t they? Strowman simply has to beat Kane so that Lesnar loses the title. Or, Kane simply has to beat Strowman so that Lesnar loses the title. No one has to beat Lesnar so that Lesnar loses the title, because “that just ain’t gonna happen.” Spoiler: Lesnar will still win at the Royal Rumble. It doesn’t matter how you stack the deck against Lesnar. You could line up Strowman, you could line up Kane, you could line up all 30 men in the Royal Rumble! Lesnar will still win. He is the most dominant champion in professional wrestling. Lesnar fears no challenge, challenger, challengers, nor does he fear Monsters and a “Devil’s Favorite Demon”. Mic drop from Heyman, but an appearance by said Devil’s Favorite Demon!

Kane walks down to the ring and stares Lesnar down. Fans chant “Suplex City!” but we get a CHOKE SLAM instead! Kane wants Lesnar to consider what just happened to him, Lesnar sits up and LAUGHS.

Lesnar then clobbers Kane out of the ring, the Raw roster floods the ringside area to keep them apart. Kane and Lesnar keep trying, but they’re kept apart thanks to referees and security. Fans want to “Let them fight!” but the Big Red Machine has already been ushered to the back. Lesnar holds up his championship belt, how much longer will it be his?

 

My Thoughts:

The first Raw of 2018 was a solid episode, but could’ve been a little better. Alexa Bliss’ recurring story of the night being that she was legitimately afraid of Asuka was perfect for both of them. Alexa has been a somewhat cowardly Heel and Asuka should’ve been feared by all on the main roster, so things finally feel right for The Empress. Their match was also solid quality, though it had a slow start. With Asuka getting the win over the Raw Women’s Champion already, perhaps WWE will have this in their back pocket should they decide someone from SmackDown is to win the inaugural Women’s Rumble. Jason Jordan has a great performance both as a character and a wrestler. His arrogance is growing, and it was smart to have Rollins point that out, but then it was also great for Jordan to actually come through and win. His dynamic with The Shield’s Roman and Rollins has a lot of possibilities while Ambrose is out recovering, as does the interactions of Renee Young and Samoa Joe. I’m kinda hoping Renee’s temper gets the better of her the way it did with The Miz when they were all on SmackDown. And Roman VS Joe was also great, as Roman might finally be coming into his own as far as in-ring performance.

I was a little disappointed WOKEN Hardy didn’t just sneak attack Bray again, or that roles weren’t reversed this time. However, kudos to Bray for at least making Apollo Crews look strong even though Bray still won. With the way things are going, chances are the Great War pre-filmed match between Bray and Hardy won’t happen until ‘Mania, but I’m sure they’ll milk their live in-ring encounter during the Rumble for all they can. I was also a little disappointed Enzo Amore was “sick”, but it was still fun to see Goldust have some action on-screen as a Face. Cross-divisional interaction like this is what the Cruiserweights should’ve been doing all of 2017 but maybe now WWE is seeing the error in their ways. But I really enjoyed Strowman essentially winning a handicap match and giving Miami fans what they wanted, as well as everyone getting what they wanted in Balor Club actually becoming a thing. There wasn’t a lot of pomp and circumstance, but hopefully WWE lets The Club gain some momentum while The Shield is a man down. Lastly, while Heyman gives another great promo, the ending with Lesnar & Kane left much to be desired. Lesnar no-selling the Choke Slam is whatever, but not letting things get out of control and go into overtime was a disappointing and anti-climactic ending for what was supposed to be a hyped up segment.

My Score: 7.9/10


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Mitchell’s Road to Wrestling Dontaku Results & Report! (4/27/24)

Rural Revitalization continues!

Published

13 hours ago

on

April 27, 2024

By

Will Great-O-Khan be setting the table?

It’s Rural Revitalization in Hiroshima for the KOPW Championship! Can Yuya Uemura survive tires, lemons and a table? Or will Great-O-Khan conquer him for the United Empire?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Frontier Zone – Boltin Oleg & Toru Yano VS Rey Paloma & HANZO; Oleg & Yano win.
  • Six Man Tag: Tiger Mask & Bishamon VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
  • Zack Sabre Jr. & Kosei Fujita VS Jeff Cobb & Francesco Akira; Cobb & Akira win.
  • Six Man Tag: El Desperado, Shota Umino & Tomohiro Ishii VS The House of Torture; Desperado, Shota & Ishii win.
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi & Katsuya Murashima VS Tomoaki Honma & Shoma Kato; Tanahashi & Murashima win.
  • DOUKI & Taka Michinoku VS SHO & Yoshinobu Kanemaru; Sho & Yoshinobu win.
  • NJPW Strong Openweight Tag Team Championships: TMDK VS El Phantasmo & Hikuleo; TMDK wins and retains the titles.
  • KOPW Championship Rural Revitalization: Great-O-Khan VS Yuya Uemura; Yuya wins and becomes the new KOPW Champion.
  • 10 Man Tag Elimination Match: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Bullet Club War Dogs; LIJ wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

NJPW Strong Openweight Tag Team Championships: TMDK w/ Zack Sabre Jr. VS El Phantasmo & Hikuleo w/ Jado!

Shane Haste & Mikey Nicholls snatched the titles away during the Windy City Riot, but the Guerrillas of Destiny are getting their rematch! Will the Headbanga & Young Guerilla redeem themselves on the Road to Wrestling Dontaku? Or will they see The Mighty Don’t Kneel?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if The Mighty stay NJPW Strong!

The teams sort out and Hysterical Haste starts against ELP. The fans rally up with the bell and the two circle. They tie up, are in a deadlock, but then Shane cording holds into a wrench and wristlock. ELP rolls, handsprings and wrenches back. ELP keeps Shane from ropes so Shane rolls, kips up, snapmares and KICKS ELP! The fans cheer while Shane shakes out his leg. ELP grimaces as he stands and shakes out the arm. The two reset, tie up, and ELP waistlocks. ELP goes for a chinlock but Shane standing switches. ELP switches, Shane switches again, and repeat. ELP headlocks, Shane powers out, then reels ELP in for a headlock.

ELP powers out, Shane runs him over, and then he sits ELP up to run. ELP drops under, hurdles over, but Shane shoves him. ELP rolls off Shane’s back to RANA! The fans fire up as ELP kips up and fixes his hair. The fans rally for “E L P! E L P!” while Shane is in a corner. Shane comes back to fire a forearm! ELP fires a forearm back! Shane fires another forearm so ELP gives it back. They go back and forth, faster and faster, and the fans rally up! ELP gets the edge, but Shane UPPERCUTS! Shane CHOPS ELP, whips him corner to corner, but ELP goes up and over and keeps moving. ELP fakes Shane out to avoid the dropkick!

ELP goes to ropes to LIONSAULT but Shane moves! ELP sits up but avoids the Penalty Kick! The two stand off and the fans cheer! Shane and ELP reset, and Leo reaches out. ELP tags him in and the fans rally up. Shane tags Mikey, and he circles with Leo. They get face to face, and Mikey pie faces Leo! They tie up, Leo shoves Mikey away, but Mikey comes back. They tie up, Mikey headlocks but Leo lifts. Mikey thrashes the hold, Leo powers out and they RAM shoulders! Leo eggs Mikey on so Mikey runs and they RAM shoulders! Leo runs, Mikey ELBOWS him! Mikey runs, Leo runs him over! The fans fire up as Leo flexes.

Leo drags Mikey up, suplexes, but Mikey fights it! Mikey tries to suplex but Leo’s so tall! Leo suplexes, Mikehy slips free to waistlock, but Leo RAMS him into a corner! Leo runs in, Mikey dodges, only for Leo to LARIAT outta the corner! Tag to ELP and the Guerrillas get Mikey up. ELP BLASTS Shane while Leo whips Mikey to a corner. Leo SPLASHES, ELP clotheslines, then feed to the SIDEWALK SLAM and FALLING AX HANDLE! The Guerrillas high-five, ELP covers, TWO! ELP brings Mikey up but Mikey fights the suplex! Mikey powers out, whips, but ELP BLASTS Shane! ELP dodges Mikey, waistlocks, but Mikey swings. ELP ducks, into a DDT!

The fans fire up while Mikey shoves ELP over and tags in Shane. Mikey brings ELP up to TOSS him out, and then Mikey BLASTS Leo! Shane whips ELP into railing! Shane flexes, fans applaud, and Shane drags ELP up. APRON BACK SUPLEX! Shane shoves ELP in, covers, ROPEBREAK! The fans rally as ELP stays in this but Shane grabs one of ELP’s hands. Shane stretches out the arm to then KICK ELP in the shoulder! Shane brings ELP up but ELP fires forearms! Shane shoves ELP but ELP ELBOWS Mikey! ELP fires off on Shane, whips, but Shane reverses and Mikey trips ELP up! Shane basement dropkicks ELP and he spins around into a HAYMAKER from Mikey!

ELP flops to the floor, Mikey claims the apron is slippery, but the referee reprimands him all the same. The ring count starts but Mikey puts ELP in at 4 of 20. Shane covers, TWO! Shane keeps ELP down with body scissors. ELP endures, reaches out, drags Shane along as he crawls over, and the fans rally up. Shane grabs ELP’s arm and brings him into a cover, TWO! Shane whips ELP away into The Mighty corner! Tag to Mikey, he sends Shane in, but ELP puts Shane on the apron! ELP BOOTS Mikey, ROUNDHOUSES Shane, then runs, but Mikey catches him! Mikey RAMS ELP back into the corner!

Mikey taunts Leo then digs boots into ELP. The fans rally up and ELP throws body shots. Mikey eggs ELP on so ELP CHOPS! ELP tries to get under but Mikey grabs a leg and drags him back! Tag to Shane, and Shane stomps ELP down. Shane kicks ELP around, kicks him more, but ELP fires off hands! Shane back drops ELP up and away! The fans rally while Shane drags ELP back to a cover, but Leo breaks it! Shane drags ELP back, tags Mikey in, and TMDK mug ELP. ELP sputters, Mikey tags Shane back in, and Shane sucker punches Leo! Mikey hoists ELP up but ELP BOOTS Shane! ELP backs Mikey into the corner, then goes up and over Shane!

Shane runs into Mikey but Mikey still pursues ELP. Mikey drags ELP back but ELP ENZIGIRIS free! The fans fire up, but Shane gets ELP’s legs! ELP BOOTS Shane away, hurries up again, but Mikey BLASTS Leo first! Mikey then brings ELP around to back suplex! ELP lands on his feet, but Shane back suplexes! ELP still lands on his feet, then he ducks under TMDK to hot tag Leo! The fans fire up as Leo UPPERCUTS Shane, swings on Mikey, but Mikey dodges, only for Leo to BOOT him! Leo scoops Shane for SNAKE EYES and a BOOT! The fans fire up with Leo while Shane and Mikey go to opposite corners.

Leo runs in to SPLASH Mikey! Leo keeps going but Shane BOOTS him! Shane runs up but Leo ELBOWS him down! Leo runs to drop the JUMPING ELBOW on Shane! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up and Leo watches Shane stir. Shane rises, Leo choke grips! GODS- NO, Shane slips free and Mikey fires a forearm! Shane UPPERCUTS, Mikey LARIATS, but Leo stays up! Shane runs to LARIAT! Leo roars, but TMDK double kick! TMDK reels Leo in, but Leo DOUBLE SUPLEXES them instead! The fans fire up and Leo watches TMDK bail out. Leo tags ELP and ELP goes up. Leo helps him walk the tightrope, to ARIHARA MOONSAULT TMDK down at the ramp!

The fans fire up again, and Leo goes out to get Shane in. ELP & Leo get Shane up to CHOP, straitjacket torture rack, and then Leo runs. BOOT into the spin, BRAIN SALAD! Cover, Mikey breaks it! Mikey fires forearms on Leo & ELP, runs, but ELP hurdles so Leo can DDT! Mikey bails out, the fans fire up, and ELP tunes up the band. Shane rises, into SUDDEN- NO, Shane dodges! Shane runs up, but into Leo’s hands! ELP aims, but Shane pulls Leo into SUDDEN DEATH! Shane UPPERCUTS ELP and DROPKICKS Leo! Shane KICKS ELP, BOOTS him, then reels him in for an INVERTED EXPLODER! Cover, TWO!!

ELP survives and Shane is surprised! The fans fires up, Shane and ELP rise, and ELP staggers to a corner. Shane puts ELP up top, ROCKS him with a right, then climbs up. Shane brings ELP up but ELP fires body shots! ELP HEADBUTTS Shane down but Mikey tags in! Shane goes up, ELP sends him back down, so Mikey UPPERCUTS! Mikey gives Shane the boost, and they get ELP for the SUPERPLEX BOMB COMBO! Cover, TWO!! ELP survives but Mikey powers up and runs, SLIDING LARIAT! Cover, TWO!! ELP survives again and the fans fire up! Mikey grows frustrated, he drags ELP up and reels him in.

ELP slips free of the Blue Thunder to kick and tuck the arms! But Mikey trips ELP to jackknife bridge, TWO! ELP rolling clutches! TWO and Mikey has the cover! TWO and ELP ghost pins, TWO!! Mikey escapes but ELP dodges! ELP DROPKICKS Mikey down and the fans fire up! Both men crawl, hot tag to Leo! Leo runs to BLAST Shane, then he turns to look at Mikey. Mikey eggs Leo on, then fires forearms! Leo ROCKS Mikey with just one! Mikey fires another flurry, but Leo ROCKS Mikey again! Leo eggs Mikey on and the fans rally. Mikey kicks low, ROCKS Leo, then runs, but into a scoop! Tag to ELP before the POWERSLAM!

ELP goes up to SWANTON BOMB! And then LIONSAULT! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up, ELP tags Leo back in, and they tune up the band again! Mikey rises, but Shane trips Leo! Mikey ROCKS ELP, Shane UPPERCUTS ELP! Feed to the scoop but ELP slips free! ELP shoves Mikey into Shane, and Leo grabs them both! But both Shane & Mikey fight free of the choke slams! Shane KNEES, Mikey FOREARMS, but then ELP fires off on TMDK! ELP runs, but into a double trophy lift! THUNDER- DOUBLE DDTS!! ELP turns things around on TMDK, and the fans are thunderous! Mikey stands up into SUDDEN DEATH! ELP PLANCHAS onto Shane!

GODSEND for Mikey! ELP then climbs up the ropes, then climbs onto Leo! SUPER THUNDERKISS 86!! Cover, but Shane barrels through ELP to break it!! The fans are thunderous again but ELP is frustrated. ELP fires off on Shane, runs, but Shane LARIATS! Shane dodges Leo but runs into the POWER TRIP! GOD- NO, Mikey rolls Leo up!! TMDK WINS!!

Winners: TMDK, by pinfall (still NJPW Strong Openweight Tag Team Champions)

Leo is furious! He is sure Mikey pulled tights there! He stomps at Mikey, pushes past ELP and goes after Mikey on the outside! Mikey and Leo push each other around, but there’s nothing Leo can do about this one. Will he and ELP just have to fight their way back up to the top? As for TMDK, will they continue to rock ‘n’ roll through the ranks with all this gold?

 

KOPW Championship Rural Revitalization: Great-O-Khan w/ Callum Newman & Francesco Akira VS Yuya Uemura w/ Taka Michinoku & Taichi!

It’s Rural Revitalization 2: Hiroshima Style! The Dominator just managed to make it past Tanga Loa, will he make it through the Heat Storm? Or will KOPW soon belong to Just5Guys?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who can put in the work!

This first round is Mazda tire carrying. Each man has a big orange cone placed in their corner, so they simply have to go fetch the tires from the stacks outside. Whoever gets four tires first wins the round! The bell rings, Yuya kicks Khan then heads for ropes, but Khan reels him in for a BIG back suplex! Khan goes out now, hurries up the ramp, and grabs two tires at once! The fans cheer and Khan gets those tires in the ring. Then he goes back for more! A risky move but that means four tires are on play. Yuya DROPKICKS Khan and here’s where the risk is involved! Yuya aims to PLANCHA but Khan chucks a tire!

Yuya falls back, Khan gets the tires in then drags Yuya out. Khan CLUBS away on Yuya against the apron, then uses a tire to bind Yuya’s legs! Khan CLUBS Yuya more, and Khan even ties Yuya up in the ropes! Khan sacrifices two tires to trap Yuya! The fans cheer the creativity, and Khan STOMPS Yuya on the apron before heading for more tires. Yuya works to get free as Khan brings two more tires to the ring. Khan sets those tires in, Yuya gets free, but Khan has stacked two tires. Then three, but Yuya DROPKICKS him down! Yuya takes the tires off Khan’s cones, leaving him with just one. Yuya goes out to get the last tires remaining!

Yuya brings tires to his cone, then clears out some space. Yuya has two tires, steals Khan’s one, but then Khan grabs Yuya for an IRON CLAW SLEEPER! Yuya fights free, but Khan Mongolian Chops him down! Khan throws the tires off Yuya’s cone, then throws the cone! We’re back to zero and zero, and Khan whips Yuya into a corner, to then clothesline him! The fans fire up as Khan climbs up and sits on his throne! Khan then hops down to Mongolian Chop! And Mongolian Chops! And Mongolian CHOP! Yuya sits down, Khan takes a tire, but then THROWS it at Yuya! Yuya goes up and over and AX HANDLES Khan down!

The fans rally as Khan grabs tires and cone, and he starts stacking! Yuya has two, then three! He just needs to find one more! Yuya grabs one from outside, but Khan reels him in! Khan DECKS Yuya, then undoes some of the stack. Khan confiscates a tire, makes sure it’s nice and bouncy, but also works up quite the sweat. The fans rally as Khan aims and takes a swing, only for Yuya to counter tire with tire! They clash again, and again! Then they set up for TIRE SUMO! And again, TIRE SUMO! They run in again, and Khan RAMS Yuya! Yuya is disarmed, and Khan CLOBBERS him with the TIRE SUMO!

The fans fire up while Yuya is down and Khan grabs tires. Khan says he’s not done with Yuya yet. Khan starts stacking tires at the center of the ring, then drags Yuya up. Khan clinches Yuya into HITSUJIGOROSHI! Yuya endures, even as Khan throws knees! Khan then scoops to SLAM Yuya on the tires! That’ll leave some skid marks! Khan then drags Yuya off the stack, brings him up and around, to then put a tire around his head. And then another! Yuya’s two tired to stand but Khan makes him! Khan throws a BODY BLOW, then he TRIPS Yuya into a TIRE DDT! The fans fire up while Khan grabs the other tires.

Khan stacks tires on his cone, that’s two. Khan hurries to find other tires on the outside, and he has a third. Khan considers his options, and takes one of the tires from Yuya. But Yuya clings to the tires, so Khan stomps him! Yuya refuses to let go of the tires! Khan stomps Yuya more but Yuya defends the tire with his body! Khan claws at Yuya, they tug-o-war over the tire, but Khan pulls on Yuya’s ear! Yuya kicks low, kicks again, then SMACKS Khan with the tire, and DROPKICKS Khan down! The tire goes tumbling out of the ring while Yuya fires up! Yuya takes Khan’s tires, hurries them over to his cone, that’s three right there!

Now Yuya has to hurry and find another! Yuya goes outside, grabs the tire, but Khan intercepts! They tug-o-war again, but then Khan RAMS Yuya into a corner! Khan takes this tire, that’s one. Khan finds tires on the outside and brings them in! Yuya hurries to cover tires again! Khan stomps Yuya, still stacks three, so it’s all down to this seventh tire! Yuya and Khan tug-o-war yet again, the fans rallying behind them! Khan grabs Yuya’s arm, but Yuya slips around to a SLEEPER! Khan fights up but Yuya squeezes tight! Yuya then CLUBS away on Khan, runs, but into a TIRE SWEEP! And a BASEMENT DROPKICK!

Khan grabs the final tire, but Yuya schoolboys him away! Yuya rolls through, snatches the tire, and complete his stack! Yuya wins the first round!

Khan: 0; Yuya: 1

Just like with Tanga Loa, Khan drops the ball in the first round! But then, will history repeat itself here as we prepare for the second round?

The tarps are set down, the table is set, and it’s time to eat up some Hiroshima lemons! Khan makes sure the people watching at home and around the world understand that Hiroshima lemons are the best, which probably means they’re the most sour. Khan puts on his bandana and takes his seat at the table. He and Yuya get some wet wipes to clean their hands, and it all comes down to who finishes their one lemon first. Ready, set, EAT! Yuya starts fast and that face shows how sour these are. Khan says hold on, and he just takes a HUGE bite! Yuya is suffering but Khan is reveling in the sourness! Khan’s already halfway through!

Yuya can barely keep the lemon in, but Khan’s eaten it all up! Can he get it all down before Yuya? Khan is chewing and chewing, Yuya is practically shaking from how sour it all is! Khan keeps going and… Yes, Khan has it all down! Khan wins!

Khan: 1; Yuya: 1

Khan now lets his body feel the stinging sweetness, and he says it was delicious! But then, that leaves us with this third and final round. And this time it’s a TABLES match! Who will be feeling sour and sore after this one?

The bell rings, both men rush in, Yuya dodges to fire haymakers! Yuya whips, Khan reverses but Yuya CLOBBERS him! Khan gets up, but Yuya DROPKICKS him down! Khan bails out, Yuya aims and PLANCHAS! Direct hit at the ramp, and the Heat Storm fires back up! The table is there, so Yuya drags Khan right up! Yuya goes to suplex but Khan blocks! Khan fights with body shots, turns things around, but Yuya fights the suplex! They fight for control, but Khan RAMS Yuya into the apron! The fans rally, Khan drags Yuya back up, and whips him into railing! Yuya tumbles up and over into No Man’s Land!

Khan storms out after Yuya and he asks fans move aside. Young Lions help the fans clear out while Khan drags Yuya up. Khan brings Yuya around and reminds everyone, No Disqualifications! Khan BOWLS Yuya through chairs, and that’s definitely a strike! The fans cheer Khan as he stands on chairs, but then asks more fans to move aside! Khan stomps Yuya, stomps a chair onto Yuya, then tosses that chair aside. Sorry to whoever had that seat… Khan then drags Yuya up and brings him around, but Yuya throws body shots! Khan Mongolian Chops Yuya down! Khan drags Yuya back up, and BOWLS him into more chairs!

Yuya is stuck on the seats, that wasn’t quite a strike. But Khan stacks chairs on Yuya to pick up the spare. Khan SMACKS chair with chair! Yuya sputters while fans applaud, and Khan goes back to fetch Yuya. Taichi and Taka are there but so are Newman and Akira. The Empire keeps the two out of five guys at bay while Khan drags Yuya to the back of the crowd. Khan whips Yuya into the emergency exit! Khan then SLAMS railing down on Yuya, and then SMACKS railing with railing! Khan talks trash while Taka and Taichi coach Yuya up. The ref checks Yuya, but he’s somehow able to continue, so Khan drags him up.

Khan brings Yuya around to drag him through the chairs! Khan brings Yuya back to ringside, then into the ring. The fans applaud, and then Khan goes looking under the ring. Khan eventually finds another lemon! Khan takes a big bite and uses the citrus to power up! Then he DIGS the lemon into Yuya’s face! The citric acid burns but the fans fire up! Khan goes to fetch the table from outside, puts it inside, and then sets it up in a corner. The fans rally up as Khan stalks Yuya. Khan drags Yuya up, reels him in to scoop, but Yuya slips free! Khan avoids hitting table, but Yuya DOUBLE CHOPS! Yuya whips Khan into the blue corner, then DOUBLE CHOPS again!

The fans fire up and Yuya grits his teeth. Yuya roars, brings Khan up and reels him in for a BIG back suplex! The fans rally again and Yuya brings Khan up. Yuya clinches, but Khan fights the lift! Yuya still tries, but Khan fights it to a head ‘n’ arm clinch. Yuya gets around, headlocks, but Khan pops out to waistlock. Yuya fights being pushed around, then switches to get an arm. Khan clinches but so does Yuya. They fight for control, and Khan’s SAYANAGI takes Yuya down! The fans fire up and both men stir. Yuya flops out of the ring, but Khan crawls in pursuit. Khan drags Yuya up, then RAMS him into railing!

Yuya writhes, Khan goes looking under the ring, and he brings out another TABLE! Khan SMACKS Yuya with the table, then stands the table up at ringside. Khan drags Yuya up, SMACKS him off the apron, then climbs up. Khan drags Yuya up onto the apron, Mongolian Chops, then regular CHOPS! Khan UPPERCUTS, then clamps on the IRON CLAW! Khan scoops but Yuya fights free! Yuya DROPKICKS! Khan holds onto ropes to stay up, but Yuya hurries to run! Yuya LARIATS, but into the IRON CLAW!! Khan drags Yuya up and over, ELIMINATOR- NO, Yuya grabs ropes to fight that off! Khan kicks low, winds up, but Yuya traps the arm!

Yuya traps the other arm, takes aim, but Khan fights the Deadbolt with all his might!! The fans are thunderous as Yuya still tries! Khan BITES Yuya’s ear! And then POSTS him! But Yuya runs up, into a BOOT! Yuya falls back, Khan sits down, and the fans rally again! Khan undoes his hand tape, ends up pushing the table over, and then he folds it all up. Khan puts the table in the ring, pushes Yuya aside, and then he sets this table up again, in the blue corner. Yuya goes up top to CROSSBODY! The fans fire up as Yuya roars! Yuya has his choice as he hauls Khan up. Yuya traps the arms, but Khan makes it a BELLY2BELLY!

But Yuya rises back up! Yuya runs in, gets around, and GERMAN SUPLEXES! But Khan’s right up! Khan LARIATS Yuya down! The fans fire up as Yuya is right back up, and URENAGES! Both men are down again and the fans are thunderous! Khan flounders around, he and Yuya crawl to center, and Yuya fires a forearm! Khan gives it back! Both men stand, and Yuya fires a haymaker! Khan comes back to forearm! Yuya wobbles, but he comes back to HAYMAKER! Khan staggers, wobbles, but comes back to FOREARM! Both men stagger, but Yuya fires another haymaker! Khan fires a flurry of forearms, but Yuya haymakers!

Khan ROCKS Yuya, but Yuya DOUBLE CHOPS! And DOUBLE CHOPS! And DOUBLE CHOPS! But Khan throws an IRON RIGHT! The fans fire up again as Yuya falls! Khan roars with Monster Rage and he hauls Yuya up! IRON CLAW, and then ELIMIN- NO, Yuya slips free! Yuya wrenches, traps the arms, DEADBOLT SUPLEX through the table!! YUYA WINS!!

Winner: Yuya Uemura, 2-1 (NEW KOPW Champion)

Yuya slammed the Deadbolt shut on Khan and now he takes the title from him! The Heat Storm is rising, how hot will he make the KOPW Division through the Summer?

 

10 Man Tag Elimination Match: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Bullet Club War Dogs!

These factions have been battling all over this Road to Wrestling Dontaku, but now they will fight ’til the last man! Will there be a roll call for Bushi, Hiromu, Takagi, Yota y Naito? Or will this alliance with the Good Looking Emperor, Jake Lee, help David Finlay, Gabe Kidd, Clark Connors & “Drilla” Dan Moloney shoot down LIJ?

Wait, it seems Naito has brought backup of his own? It’s SLYLY! The dragon-like mascot of Hiroshima Toyo Carp, and half-brother to the Philadelphia Phillies’ Phillie Phanatic! Well, Naito does love him some baseball. Tensions are running high, and Finlay throws his shirt at Yota. Yota balls that shirt up, and throws a fastball over the plate! The teams sort out, Finlay pushes Yota around and Gabe talks trash on Takagi. Red Shoes gets them all to settle down, and the War Dogs bark and put up the Too Sweet. Jake joins in at the end there. LIJ mocks the barking before they fist bump, and the fans cheer.

Things finally sort out and Finlay starts against Yota. The fans fire up behind “YO~TA! YO~TA!” at the bell, and Yota makes sure Finlay hears that. Finlay gets on the corner but the fans all boo. The two circle, tie up, and Yota uses his size to put Finlay on ropes. Finlay turns that around to grind forearms in Yota’s face and push him around. Finlay then backs up to SPIT at him! The fans boo but Yota CHOPS Finlay in return! The fans cheer, Yota headlocks, and Yota grinds Finlay down. Finlay powers up and out to headlock back, but Yota powers up and out. They RAM shoulders, Yota rebounds to run Finlay over!

The fans fire up, things speed up, but Finlay bails out. The fans boo but Finlay says he’s got time. Yota barks at Finlay but Finlay just mockingly applauds. Finlay returns, kips up just to show off, but then Hiromu wants in! Yota tags Hiromu, Finlay tags Drilla. Hiromu fires forearms on Drilla, whips, to ROCK, trip, KICK the ropes, then run and SHOTGUN Drilla down! The fans fire up while Hiromu barks. Hiromu runs corner to corner to clothesline, snapmare and basement dropkick! The fans fire up but Connors runs in to knee Hiromu low! Connors barks, runs, but Hiromu kicks low! Bushi dropkicks legs out so Hiromu can basement dropkick!

The fans fire up but Drilla fires hands and CHOPS on LIJ. Hiromu CHOPS back, he and Bushi double whip to TU LO SABE! Cover, TWO! Drilla stays in this but Hiromu fires Hiroshima up. Hiromu fireman’s carries, but Drilla slips free to RAM Hiromu into the corner! The Dogs mug Hiromu while Jake Lee runs up to BLAST Naito! Finlay and Connors help out in mugging Yota and Bushi! Things have pilled out into the crowd in multiple areas while Naito fights back! Jake kicks Naito, then whips him hard into railing! Naito tumbles up and over into No Man’s Land! Gabe and Takagi throw HEADBUTTS back and forth!

Finlay snatches a phone? He’s taking pictures of Jake stomping away on Naito! But then Yota attacks Finlay! Finlay POSTS Yota, a ring count starts, but the Dogs just keep beating LIJ down! Drilla finds his way back to ringside, Hiromu manages to make his way in! Hiromu crawls in at 17 but Drilla is there to stomp him! Drilla bumps Hiromu off Finlay’s boot! Drilla tags Jake in, they mug Hiromu, and Jake digs his boot in while Finlay pulls Hiromu’s hair! Red Shoes is busy getting everyone to stop brawling! Jake lets off but Hiromu fires off CHOPS! Jake just kicks low, whips, and then HIP TOSSES Hiromu down!

Hiromu staggers up but Jake clamps on a SLEEPER! Tag to Finlay and they mug Hiromu in the corner. Red Shoes reprimands and counts, the fans boo, and Finlay lets off at 4. Finlay soaks up heat, then he takes Hiromu’s Kamaitachi mask and THROWS it to the crowd! Finlay then BLASTS Yota off the apron! The Dogs CHOKE Hiromu more, mug him while Finlay argues with Red Shoes, then Finlay brings Hiromu up. Finlay fireman’s carries and goes to dump Hiromu! Hiromu clamps onto ropes, Bushi runs in to make the save! Connors goes after Bushi so Takagi makes the save! But Connors goes after Takagi now!

Finlay puts Hiromu on the apron but Hiromu rolls back in, SAFE! The fans cheer while Finlay is frustrated. Finlay storms up on Hiromu in a corner but Hiromu CHOPS and CHOPS! Finlay knees low, whips corner to corner hard, and Hiromu flounders all the way back to where he started! Finlay drags Hiromu up and over, the fans still cheering him on, but Connors tags in. Connors BLASTS Naito off the corner, then snap suplexes Hiromu down! Connors runs to ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Hiromu stays in this but Connors stays on him with a seated full nelson. The fans continue to rally for “HI-RO-MU!” as he endures!

Hiromu fights around, even as Gedo barks at him to give up. Hiromu still gets the ROPEBREAK! Finlay pushes the foot away and that distracts Red Shoes, allowing Drilla to join in and stomp Hiromu! Drilla & Connors double whip but Hiromu gets around to lift Connors and throw him at Drilla, FORCED RANA! The fans fire up but Connors keeps Hiromu away from his corner! Hiromu blocks a kick, and a punch, to DRAGON SCREW! The fans rally again while both men are down! Hot tag to Naito! Naito rallies on Connors, BLASTS Drilla, swings on Jake, but Jake gets away. Connors CLUBS Naito, whips, but Naito reverses to arm-drag!

Naito atomic drops, runs, and ELBOWS Connors down, to then basement dropkick! The fans fire up while Naito stares Jake down. Naito covers Connors, TWO! The fans rally, Naito drags Connors up and dragon sleepers, for the NECKBREAKER! And then, LEG HOOK NELSON! Connors endures but Gabe stomps Naito! Gabe BLASTS Takagi, the rest of the Dogs attack, and Gabe stomps away on Naito! Gabe tells off the fans but the fans boo. Red Shoes reprimands so Gabe steps away, and Connors drags Naito up. Connors UPPERCUTS, whips, but Naito reverses to TORNADO- NO, Connors powers out!

Connors dodges Naito, redirects and POUNCES! Naito is down but the fans rally up. Naito and Connors crawl, hot tags to Takagi and Gabe! The fans fire up for the NEVER Openweight Championship appetizer! They RAM shoulders, Takagi ROCKS Gabe then runs to RAM him! Gabe rebounds to RAM Takagi, but Takagi rebounds to RAM Gabe! Gabe fires a forearm, whips Takagi to a corner then runs in to clothesline! Takagi says that’s not enough, so Gabe UPPERCUTS! Gabe says he’s a madman, then whips, only for Takagi to reverses. Takagi runs in, blocks a boot, and clotheslines through! The fans fire up with Takagi, but Gabe shoves him!

Takagi kicks and CLUBS away on Gabe, but Gabe BITES Takagi’s forehead! Red shoes reprimands, but Takagi spins Gabe around to suplex high and hard! Cover, TWO! Gabe’s still in this but the fans rally behind “TA-KA-GI!” Takagi looks around, “Oi, Hiroshima! TOKI GA-” NO, Gabe CLOBBERS Takagi! It isn’t his time yet, and Gabe stands Takagi up to HEADBUTT again and again! Then Gabe suplexes high and hard! Cover, TWO! Takagi’s tougher than that but Gabe shakes his head. Gabe scuffs Takagi, eggs him on and runs, but Takagi blocks the Rebounder to HEADBUTT! Gabe HEADBUTTS! Both men shake their heads, and then Takagi HEADBUTTS!

Gabe HEADBUTTS! Takagi HEADBUTTS again and again, but then Gabe HEADBUTTS again and again! Takagi fires a forearm, Gabe gives it back, repeat! The fans fire up as the shots go back and forth! Gabe gets the edge, but Takagi fires boxing elbows! Gabe CHOP! Takagi ELBOWS! JABS! Gabe UPPERCUTS and YUKON LARIATS! But Takagi’s right up to LARIAT!! Gabe rises and shouts! Both men run in, DOUBLE LARIATS collide! And again! Gabe fires palm strikes, talks trash, but gets a JAB, HEADBUTT, and a PUMPING BOMBER take takes both men up and out! DOUBLE ELIMINATION!!

Fans go wild as Takagi’s sacrifice play makes things 4v4! Bushi and Drilla jump in and Drilla fires off shots! Drilla ENZIGIRIS, ripcords, but Bushi dodges to RANA! And DROPKICK! Drilla bails out but Bushi builds speed, only for Connors to SNAP POWERSLAM! Drilla gets in, he and Connors get moving, SPEAR GORE COMBO!! Cover, TWO!! Bushi survives but the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions coordinate. Connors BLASTS Naito off the apron before he climbs a corner, and Drilla gets Bushi up. Drilla suplexes, but Bushi slips free! Bushi shoves Drilla into Connors, then runs back in to CODE-

NO, Drilla blocks and aims for ropes! Bushi slips free, dodges Drilla, but Drilla ducks the enzigiri, only for the REWIND HEEL to hit! Bushi whips Drilla up and out and to the floor, Bushi ELIMINATES Drilla! We’re 4v3 in LIJ’s favor, but then Connors SPEARS Bushi! Connors says this is it, and he reels Bushi in for- NO! Bushi turns No Chaser into a backslide! BUSHI ROLL! Bushi ELIMINATES Connors!! The Black Mask singlehandedly handles the tag champs and the fans fire up! But then Finlay CLOBBERS Bushi and rains down fists! Finlay roars in rage, then he drags Bushi up. Canadian Rack, but Bushi slips free to backslide!

Finlay rolls through to UPPERCUT! Jake BLASTS Naito, BLASTS Yota, and then Finlay gets Bushi up! Finlay POWERBOMBS Bushi to the outside, onto Naito and the rest! Finlay ELIMINATES Bushi! We’re back to 3v2 as Finlay still has Jake but LIJ still has Naito, Hiromu and Yota. And speaking of Yota, he gets in to brawl with Finlay! Yota whips, Finlay reverses but Yota flipping RANAS! Then he BLASTS Jake! Yota runs corner to corner to STINGER SPLASH Finlay! Yota keeps moving, he runs Finlay over to then run and SPLASH! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up with Yota as he smiles and paces around.

Yota brings Finlay up and fireman’s carries, but Finlay slips free. Yota kicks, runs, but Finlay ELBOWS him down, then SENTONS on top! Finlay barks as he aims at Yota. Yota rises, Finlay runs in, and UPPERCUTS at the corner! Then clotheslines! Then FALCON ARROWS! Cover, TWO! The fans rally for Yota but Finlay grows frustrated. Finlay drags Yota up, reels him in, but Yota fights the lift! Finlay CLUBS away on Yota, tries again, and he has Yota up, but Yota fights free of the bomb! Yota fires forearms, but Finlay UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS again! Finlay runs, but Yota backslides to KNEE Finlay down!

The fans fire up again as we pass 20 minutes, and Yota drags Finlay up. Yota goes up and up but Finlay shoves him over! Yota’s on the apron, he and Finlay brawl! Yota ROCKS Finlay, but Finlay gets in Red Shoes’ face! Jake grabs at Yota, Yota kicks him away, but Finlay BLASTS Yota down and ELIMINATES him! The fans boo but the Dogs have made this 2v2! Finlay and Jake stand together, and they dare Naito & Hiromu to join them. Naito and Hiromu oblige as they step inside. Naito stares Jake down, Hiromu stares Finlay down, and they start swinging! The fans fire up, but then Finlay fireman’s carries Hiromu! Finlay aims for ropes!

Naito gets past Jake to save Hiromu, but then Jake BOOTS Naito down! Jake scrapes Naito out of the ring and goes after him, but Hiromu fireman’s carries Finlay! Hiromu runs at ropes and dumps Finlay out! Finlay stays on the apron but Hiromu SUPERKICKS! Finlay holds onto ropes and wobbles, but Hiromu builds speed! Hiromu DIVES and SUNSET FLIPS, but Finlay still holds on! Finlay throws down hands, gets back inside, he’s SAFE! Hiromu is also safe because he went through the second rope. Hiromu runs back in, but avoids Blue Thunder to wheelbarrow! But Finlay turns that into an IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER!

Hiromu writhes, the fans rally as hard as they can behind him, but Finlay drags Hiromu up. DOMINATOR! Cover, Naito breaks it! Jake stomps Naito and TOSSES him out! It was all second rope so Naito’s safe, but Finlay talks trash on Hiromu. Finlay drags Hiromu up, reels him in, suplexes, but Hiromu slips free! Finlay UPPERCUTS, and UPPERCUTS, and UPPERCUTS! Flashback to the 23rd! Hiromu just takes UPPERCUT after UPPERCUT from Finlay, but he doesn’t stop! Then he SUPERKICKS! Hiromu runs, but into another UPPERCUT! Finlay gets Hiromu up, but Hiromu RANAS Finlay up and out to ELIMINATE him!!

The fans are thunderous as The Rebel is shocked! Hiromu mocks him, but then Jake runs in! Hiromu gets under the boot to get under Jake! Jake fights Hiromu off, snarls, and then runs up! Hiromu dodges to kick a leg! Hiromu runs, but Jake kitchen sink knees! Jake takes aim, runs up, and FACE BREAK SHOT! Hiromu tumbles up and out and to the floor, Jake ELIMINATES him! And now, at 25 minutes in, we’re down to just Jake and just Naito! Naito slowly rolls into the ring as the fans rally behind him. Jake watches Naito stand, and the two stare down. Jake runs in but Naito dodges to fire off forearms!

Naito whips but Jake reverses to KNEE low! Jake fires up but fans boo as he stands Naito up. Jake reels Naito in for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Naito protects the plate but Jake is aiming another heater! Jake waits as Naito stands, then winds up to choke grip! But Naito throws back elbows to get free! Naito then wrenches, TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up again while both men are down! Naito rises, he drags Jake up, and he throws those heavy back elbows! Jake crawls around, Naito brings him up, and Naito throws more heavy back elbows! Jake wobbles and staggers to the corner but Naito is right on him.

Naito brings Jake around for even more heavy back elbows! Jake falls over, the fans fire up, and Naito aims from the corner. Naito drags Jake up and in, but Jake BOOTS Naito down! Naito dangles off the apron! Red Shoes keeps the War Dogs from interfering, and Naito stands up. Jake aims, runs in, but Naito avoid the FBS! Naito drags Jake ot the apron, Jake elbows him back! Jake runs up, but into an ELBOW! Naito goes up and over, sweeps the legs, then BASEBALL SLIDE DROPKICKS! Jake falls, LIJ wins!!

Winners: Los Ingobernables de Japon, Naito as the lone survivor

It came down to the bottom of the ninth, technically speaking, and Naito just hit the walk-off homer! Jake is stunned and Finlay is frustrated, but Yota just smiles back at him. Finlay and Yota will have it out as part of Wrestling Dontaku Night One, who will be smiling then?

As for LIJ, they regroup in the ring and have their hands raised. Slyly’s even still hanging around! But uh, he’s a little too chunky to get in the ring, so he just settles for pumping up the crowd like he does at baseball games. Naito gets the mic to say that it was three months ago, the Splash Strong series back in January, since Naito was last in Hiroshima. Naito would like to thank the fans from coming here tonight, “Gracias, amigos.” The fans cheer, and Naito continues by saying, “Hiroshima is my second home. I really long to have a match at Mazda Stadium.” The fans love the sound of that!

Naito does preface that him saying that doesn’t mean there’s anything planned. So please, tranquilo, be patient, and look forward to the day that finally happens. So, shall they do it? The fans cheer again! So then, for the first time in Hiroshima Sun Plaza Hall in a year and eight months, is everyone ready? The fans cheer because they sure are! Well then, the only way to close The Road to Wrestling Dontaku here in Hiroshima… Bushi! Hiromu! Takagi! Titan! Yota! Slyly! Y Naito! NOSOTROS! LOS! INGOBERRRRNABLEEEES~! DE! JA! PON!! Slyly gets in on the roll call! Will all of LIJ have success as we reach Wrestling Dontaku next week?

My Thoughts:

A great event to conclude Road to Dontaku before getting to Wrestling Dontaku itself. An unfortunate change in the card, Sanada fell ill and could not compete, so his match alongside Taichi against Tanahashi & Tomoaki was changed into Tanahashi and a Young Lion VS Tomoaki and a Young Lion. Hopefully Cold Skull gets well soon. Great tag title match from TMDK VS GoD, and while I figured TMDK was going to retain, I didn’t think it’d be in a shady way like holding tights. While ZSJ VS Cobb for the NJPW World TV title is still to come, I doner of GoD shift gears and ELP becomes a singles guy so Leo and Loa can team up. Then ELP can challenge ZSJ in a battle of initials while the Brothers Guerrilla get to take on Shane & Mikey.

Great Rural Revitalization again, they managed to pull off great comeback spots each round. I was very surprised Yuya won out, I felt like Khan could’ve done one more Rural Revitalization before losing. But at the same time, Yuya feels like the unofficial fourth Reiwa Musketeer behind Narita, Shota & Tsuji. Yuya getting a title, any title, ahead of the others is good stuff for him, and could even bring about a feud with one of the Musketeers for the Summer. And then a great 10 Man Elimination Tag. I again really like that NJPW allows over the rope eliminations even in a tag match like this to really mix things up. Jake Lee not winning out for the War Dogs is really surprising, but I feel like that means Jake will defeat Naito 1v1.

My Score: 8.9/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (4/27/24)

Trent Beretta’s on a Rampage!

Published

15 hours ago

on

April 27, 2024

By

It’s a violent end to a legendary friendship!

Former Best Friends, Trent Beretta & Chuck Taylor, have been through many Parking Lot Brawls, but this is their first time as enemies! Will there be broken bones to go along with the broken hearts?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Parking Lot Brawl: Trent Beretta VS Chuck Taylor; Trent wins.
  • Thunder Rosa VS Deonna Purrazzo; Rosa wins.
  • “Big Bill” Morrissey VS Trevor Blackwell; Bill wins.
  • Katsuyori Shibata & Daniel Garcia VS Shane Taylor Promotions; Shibata & Garcia win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Parking Lot Brawl: Trent Beretta VS Chuck Taylor!

Years of friendship, thrown away, and why? Because #JustTrent had a problem with Freshly Squeezed having more success in AEW than them? Because #JustTrent had a problem with Cassidy as a person? Because #JustTrent turned out to be the selfish one in the relationship? Well, then will #JustTrent get his ass kicked? Or will he take advantage of how Chuckie T. is a Kentucky Gentleman?

Trent stares Chuck down while we hear the crowd of other wrestlers taunting him. Trent takes a swing, but Chuck dodges to fire off hands! The brawl is on, and Chuck gets the edge! Chuck ROCKS Trent, then SMACKS him off a car hood! And then off the car door! Chuck drags Trent up, but Trent RAMS Chuck into the car! And throat chops him just because! Trent gets space, runs back in, but Chuck dodges so Trent hits the passenger door! Chuck gets a trash can lid and he stands Trent up. Trent jumps through the open window but Chuck drags him back out. Trent kicks low, and he gives Chuck a CAR HOOD BACK SUPLEX!

Trent grabs the trash can lid, SMACKS Chuck right in the head and Chuck falls down! The crowd boos but Trent opens a car trunk to bring out a trash can, a dustpan and a baseball bat! Chuck storms up but Trent CHUCKS the trash can into Chuck’s face! Chuck flounders and Trent smirks. Trent SMACKS Chuck with the trash can, CLUBS him around, and Chuck is busted open! The white car has red polka dots on it now, and Trent talks trash, “This is what you wanted?!” Trent runs up, but Chuck POP UP POWERBOMBS Trent onto a car hood! Trent writhes, Chuck staggers around, and Chuck brings Trent around.

Chuck headlocks Trent before he SMACKS him off another car door. Trent goes around the back and then up onto a truck! Chuck follows, and he CLUBS Trent in the chest! But Trent slips under, and he CLAWS Chuck’s bloody face! Trent DECKS Chuck and Chuck falls through drywall sheets! Trent looms over Chuck as he crawls out of the wreckage. Trent stalks Chuck, brings him around and SMACKS him with the trash can lid! Trent hoists Chuck onto a car roof, SMACKS him again, then goes back to the truck. Trent climbs onto the roof of the truck, to FLYING ELBOW from car to car! Cover, TWO!!

Trent is furious, but Chuck is still in this as Rampage goes picture in picture.

Trent fumes, paces around, and goes back to the goodies. He brings out… Is that a screwdriver?! And he JABS Chuck in the head with it!! And then he DIGS it into Chuck’s forehead!! As if he wasn’t already bleeding badly!! Trent leaves Chuck behind, to fetch what looks to be a flat screen TV. Then he brings out a wood door!? Did someone visit Home Depot before coming here? Chuck CHOPS Trent in return then fires haymakers! Trent CLAWS Chuck’s face! Trent grabs that TV and CHUCKS it, only for Chuck to duck it! Rampage returns as TV screen hits windshield! Chuck kicks low to snap suplex Trent through the door!!

The crowd is losing its minds as Trent crawls. Chuck gets Trent’s legs, to CATAPULT him into the truck’s tailgate!! The crowd fires up while Chuck gets a sinister look on his face. Chuck takes a piece of that drywall to SMASH it on Trent! Chuck gets that trash can, he SMACKS Trent with it! Chuck sees the pile of extra goodies nearby, and he uncovers some light tubes! But first, he’ll clean up the mess, he SMACKS Trent with the dust pan! And SMACKS him again and again! And then one more shot with the trash can! Trent writhes, but Chuck drags Trent up. Chuck SMACKS Trent off the tailgate, then clears some space.

Chuck climbs up, but Trent ROCKET LAUNCHES him onto the light tubes!!! The tubes shatter under Chuck’s back! Trent sputters, he’s bloody now, too. Trent puts Chuck against the car hood and stands on him! Trent soaks up the heat, but Chuck TRIPS Trent! Trent writhes, Chuck reels Trent in, Canadian Rack, RAZOR’S EDGE onto a windshield!! Trent writhes while fans chant “HOLY CHUCK!” Chuck covers Trent on the hood, TWO!! Trent survives and hurries around the back of this sedan. Chuck snarls, goes up after Trent, and they meet on the roof. They’re both so bloody as they fire forearms back and forth!

The crowd cheers Chuck and boos Trent, and as the two swing wild, they end up HUGGING! You GOT to give the people what they want, right? They stand, Chuck ROCKS Trent and reels Trent in, but Trent LOW BLOWS!! Trent has Chuck now, PILEDRIVER ON THE CAR ROOF!!! And then, SNAKE BITE!! Trent is choking Chuck out!!! Chuck IS out, Trent wins!!

Winner: Trent Beretta, by submission

The Best Friends tore each other apart, but it is #JustTrent that stands tall in the end. He’s clearly lost the respect of his peers given how the other wrestlers are chanting “You Suck! You Suck!” But wait, Trent isn’t done? He has a monkey wrench!? Cassidy & Kris step forward to say no, this is going too far! Trent says this is all Cassidy’s fault! And SMASH, Trent hits Chuck’s leg with the wrench, and even shatters the glass behind it!! Chuck clutches the already recovering leg, and now Cassidy wants after Trent! Kris stops Cassidy, Trent’s still got the wrench! Trent escapes into the shadows of the arena, what darkness is living in Trent’s heart?

 

Don Callis is watching this.

And he seems to like the sadistic savagery he just witnessed. Trent may not have Best Friends anymore, but could he end up with a whole new family?

 

Backstage interview with Kyle O’Reilly.

Arkady Aura is with #CombatKyle and brings up his impressive showing in Dynamite’s Casino Gauntlet this past Wednesday. But we all want to know, what is next for her? Well, on Saturday, May 11th, AEW is coming to his hometown! Collision in Vancouver, British Columbia! The Rogers Arena, the same building an 11-year-old Kyle saw his first wrestling show ever. And at that show, Kyle told his dad that he was gonna do this one day. Papa O’Reilly said, “Oh yeah, sure you will, kid.” But somehow, Kyle pulled it off. 25 years later, he’s coming back home to do the one thing he’s ever been good at and that’s wrestling.

Kyle is going to take on the best wrestlers this world has to offer, right here in AEW, where the best wrestle. Kyle is ready for a fight, who will take him up on that in two weeks?

 

Thunder Rosa VS Deonna Purrazzo!

La Mera Mera and The Virtuosa could not coexist in the race for the AEW Women’s World Championship, and now they will Rampage against each other! Who will stand tall, ready for another shot at the title?

The bell rings and the fans rally up. Deonna and Rosa step up, talk a little trash, then Deonna pie faces Rosa! Rosa swings but Deonna catches the arm! Rosa avoids the takedown to knee low! They tie up again, go around and around, and Deonna puts Rosa in a corner. The ref counts, Rosa powers her way out but Deonna headlocks. Rosa powers up and out, but Deonna RAMS her! The two stay up, Deonna eggs Rosa on then kicks her low! Deonna whips, Rosa blocks the hip toss, but then Deonna blocks a hip toss! Rosa avoids the lariat to DECK Deonna! Rosa rains down fists but the ref reprimands.

Rosa sits Deonna up, clamps on a COBRA CLUTCH, and she grinds Deonna down. The fans rally but Deonna fights up. Deonna throws hands, then wrenches, but Rosa breaks free. Deonna BOOTS Rosa, then has the arm for the ARMBAR DDT! Deonna dusts herself off as she paces, then she KICKS Rosa’s arm. And KICKS it again! Rosa goes to ropes, Deonna pushes her down and ties her up in Paradise! Rosa is stuck, Deonna soaks up the cheers and jeers, and then runs to DROPKICK Rosa out of Paradise! Deonna stands Rosa up but Rosa ROCKS her first! Deonna stands, Rosa RAMS into her then bumps her off buckles.

Rosa goes up and up to leap, but Deonna blocks the rana and has a BOSTON CRAB! They’re in the ropes, the ref counts, and Deonna lets go. Rosa crawls to the corner, Deonna paces while soaking up the heat. Rosa stands, builds speed, and she WERCKS Deonna with a dropkick! Rosa fires up despite the pain in her back, and she kicks Deonna. Deonna stands, Rosa CHOPS her against the post! And CHOPS her again! Deonna ducks, Rosa chops post! Deonna SUPERKICKS Rosa down, and Rampage goes picture in picture.

Deonna steps on Rosa’s face, steps away, and Rosa staggers up to railing. Deonna storms up but Rosa kicks her low. Rosa then runs Deonna side to side to POST her! But then Deonna RAMS Rosa into apron! And SMACKS her off it! Deonna snarls, brings Rosa around, and she puts Rosa in the ring. Cover, TWO! Deonna clamps onto Rosa to pull her arms in, for a straitjacket stretch! Rosa endures, fights up, but Deonna turns that into a BACKSTABBER! Cover, TWO! Rosa is still in this, and she is feeding off the energy of the fans! Rosa stands, and she ELBOWS Deonna! And body shots! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS again!

Rosa has Deonna in a corner to UPPERCUT! Rosa runs corner to corner and back again, but Deonna dodges! Rosa POSTS herself and falls to the apron! Deonna storms back over, brings Rosa up and wraps the bad arm against ropes! The ref counts, Deonna KICKS the ropes as she lets off, and Rosa clutches the elbow. Deonna returns but Rosa RAMS into her! Deonna CLUBS Rosa, has her in a corner, and HEADBUTTS the lower back as Rampage goes to break.

Rampage returns and Deonna runs in, but into an ELBOW! And then a BOOT! Rosa goes up to MISSILE DROPKICK! The fans fire up with Rosa as she rises up! Deonna runs in, Rosa dodges to fire forearm after forearm! Deonna shoves, Rosa ENZIGIRIS! Rosa runs, to SHOTGUN BOOT! Deonna flounders to ropes, Rosa pounds the mat and the fans rally again. Rosa runs side to side to DROPKICK again! Cover, TWO!! Deonna toughs it out while Rosa shakes out her arm. Rosa drags Deonna up, but Deonna SOBATS! Deonna runs to KNEE LIFT and RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Deonna wants the Fujiwara but Rosa rolls free!

Deonna BOTOS Rosa down, covers, TWO! Rosa is still in this and the fans rally up. Deonna is frustrated but she fireman’s carries Rosa. Rosa fires elbows, waistlocks, but Deonna pries the hold open! Deonna waistlocks, Rosa victory rolls and STOMP 182! The fans rally up again and Rosa covers, TWO! Deonna stays in this but Rosa stays on her. Rosa drags Deonna to a drop zone, goes to a corner and climbs. But Deonna rises and catches the leap! FUJIWARA ARMBAR!! Rosa endures, reaches out, pushes Deonna over to get a REAR NAKED CHOKE!! Deonna is in the body scissors but she fights around!

Deonna rises, to BACKPACK SENTON! Deonna is free, the fans fire up, and Deonna brings Rosa back up. Deonna SLAPS Rosa, then reels her in! Gotch Hold, but Rosa jackknife bridges! TWO, Deonna sunset flips, TWO! Prawn hold, TWO! FUJIWARA!! Rosa rolls it to a cradle, ROSA WINS!!

Winner: Thunder Rosa, by pinfall

Deonna thought she had the perfect formula but Rosa says she just beat her at wrestling! But then Deonna CLOBBERS Rosa at the ramp! The fans boo but Deonna drags Rosa up to RAM her into the bleachers! Rosa slumps down, but Deonna digs her boot in! Deonna SLAPS Rosa around, tells the ref to shut up, and she SLAPS Rosa more! So Rosa SLAPS back! They brawl on stage and then out to the ledge of the upper level! The fans fire up as they keep going! Security rushes in, the fans boo, but Deonna flips Rosa off! It seems nothing was settled here, will these two look to go Double or Nothing?

 

Backstage interview with The Undisputed Kingdom.

Arkady Aura is with Roderick Strong, Matt Taven & Mike Bennett as she notes Will Ospreay is the NEW #1 Contender to the AEW International Championship. Taven says hold on, before we get started here, “Not Lexy,” as three guys who care deeply about neck health, and as two guys who nursed someone from the brink of paralysis (aka Roddy), The Kingdom wishes a very speedy recovery to “the world’s greatest boss. TK, stay strong, buddy.” Roddy then shouts that “WILL… Ospreay. Congratulations, you did it! You have signed, sealed and delivered the downfall, demise and destruction of The Aerial Assassin at Double or Nothing.”

Roddy says the world can sing Ospreay’s praises, but none of that matters when you step in the ring with Roddy. Just like all the ones before, Roddy will dismantle Ospreay, he will BREAK Ospreay, and he will make Ospreay fall in front of The Savior of the Backbreaker. Roddy’s confidence is strong, but will Roddy be the one feeling the End of Heartache after taking on the #BillyGOAT?

 

“Big Bill” Morrissey VS Trevor Blackwell!

The human skyscraper says he wants to sit under the Learning Tree, but Chris Jericho’s gonna need a bigger tree if he’s to give guidance to Big Bill. Will Bill prove he is worthy of The Wizard’s sage advice?

The moment Bill is in the ring, he SPLASHES Trevor right in the corner! The bell rings, Bill runs to BOOT Trevor down! Trevor flounders around, Bill runs corner to corner and SPLASHES again! Trevor flops around, Bill wants Jericho to watch this. Bill said he’d show Jericho he is worthy, and we do see Jericho watching backstage, holding the FTW Championship on his shoulder and oddly still wearing a #LionHook shirt… Jericho nods as Bill CLUBS Trevor on the back! Bill then tells Jericho to watch him! Scoop and BIG BOSS SLAM!! Cover, but Bill lets off! Bill wags his finger, he wants Jericho to see more.

Bill brings Trevor up, reels him in, and short arm LARIATS! Cover, but again Bill lets off! Bill is having too much fun at poor Trevor’s expect. Bill says Jericho’s gonna wanna teach him. Bill hoists Trevor up for the SKYSCRAPER CHOKE SLAM!! One foot cover, a very Jericho move, and Bill wins!

Winner: “Big Bill” Morrissey, by pinfall

Trev might want to change his last name to Well-done, because he got roasted. Bill wants Jericho’s guidance, does he even need it when he can do all this?

 

BREAKING NEWS for Rampage!

Rampage won’t be following up Collision next week but it also won’t be back on Friday just yet. For AEW’s return to Canada, Rampage is going to be BACK TO BACK with Dynamite! Get ready for a truly All Elite Wednesday!

 

Katsuyori Shibata & Daniel Garcia VS Shane Taylor Promotions!

The Wrestler said during Collision earlier tonight that he was going to take on Shane Taylor Promotions by himself if he had to, but then the Dragonslayer offered his help. Now they’re both going to take on #TAIGASTYLE and Big Bad Shaney T. himself! Garcia wears basic trunks and boots to match Shibata, will The Wrestlers win out? Or will STP rumble, bad man, rumble?

The moment all four men are in the ring, Shibata CLOBBERS Lee Moriarty and then he and Garcia both go after Shane! The fans fire up as they stomp and kick Shane right out of the ring! Then they go out to keep after him! Shibata whips and BOOTS Shane into railing! Garcia fires off on Lee, then Shibata adds an UPPERCUT! Shibata whips and BOOTS Lee against railing! Garcia stomps Shane, Shibata snap suplexes Lee to the floor! Shibata leaves them behind to go into the ring and sit cross-legged! Garcia sits with him! The fans fire up and the two go out again. The brawling continues but Shane throws heavy hands!

Lee ROCKS Garcia, Shane puts Shibata in, and Shane storms in after Shibata. Lee sends Garcia into railing, but Shibata fires hands on Shane! Shibata KICKS and KICKS, but Shane blocks the boot! Shane JABS Shibata and Shibata falls back! Shane talks trash, the fans boo, but Shane drags Shibata up. Shane HEADBUTTS Shibata, tags Lee, and they mug Shibata. Lee stomps a mudhole in, lets off as the ref counts, but he sneaks mule kicks on Shibata the whole time! Shibata trips Lee, stomps him, but Lee gets up to RAM into Shibata! Lee brings Shibata around, suplexes, but Shibata slips free to waistlock!

Lee elbows free, kicks, but Shibata blocks! Lee KNEES Shibata but Garcia tags in! Shibata BOOTS Lee, Garcia LARIATS! Garcia DROPKICKS Shane, gets around Lee, TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! And then another TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Garcia brings Lee up again but Lee suplexes! Garcia slips free, spins Lee and kicks low, to then TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! The trifecta is complete and the fans fire up! Garcia storms up on Lee, brings him up, and UPPERCUTS! The fans rally for Garcia, he CHOPS Lee to ropes. And CHOPS Lee against ropes! Garcia runs, but Shane trips him! Lee distracts the ref so Shane can DRAPING DDT to the floor!

Shibata protests but Lee mocks him by sitting cross-legged. The ring count climbs, Garcia drags himself up at 3 of 10, slides in at 5, but Lee stomps Garcia at the ropes! Lee drags Garcia up, bumps him off buckles, then tags Shane. Shane pushes Garcia against the buckles, to then CHOP! Garcia seethes and he fires forearm son Shane! The fans fire up, Garcia throws more shots, then leaps, but into Shane’s arms! Shane RAMS Garcia into a corner, then CHOPS! Shane runs up, but Garcia BOOTS! Garcia spins, but Shane ROCKS him first! And URENAGES! And then SPLASHES down! Cover, TWO!

Shane seethes but he keeps Garcia from Shibata, and Rampage goes picture in picture.

Shane mocks Garcia’s dance, drags him up, but Garcia CHOPS! Garcia staggers, but Shane fires body shots in the corner! Shane ROCKS Garcia, tags Lee, and STP mugs Garcia. Garcia flounders to ropes, Lee CHOKES him! The ref counts, Lee steps away, and he stomps Garcia around. Lee wraps an arm around the ropes, then fishhooks Garcia! The ref counts, Lee lets off, and Garcia feeds off the energy of the fans. Lee brings Garcia up but Garcia fires forearm sand CHOPS! Lee gets around, and GERMAN SUPLEXES! Cover, TWO! Garcia stays in this but Lee stays on him with a wrench. Tag to Shane, and Lee hooks Garcia up in a COBRA TWIST, just so Shane can KNEE Garcia down!

Shane has Garcia on ropes, ROCKS him with a forearm, then scoops him for SNAKE EYES! Garcia slumps down in the corner, Shane drags him back up, and TOSSES him out! Shane goes out to then put Garcia against railing. Shane ROCKS Garcia, talks trash on fans, then brings Garcia around to scoop and SLAM him to the floor! Shane talks more trash on the fans, Lee has him cool off, and Shane brings Garcia up again. Shane puts Garcia in, tags Lee, and then Lee clamps on with a top wristlock and stretches Garcia out! Garcia endures, turns to fight the pressure, but Lee CLUBS him down. Lee drags Garcia up, tags Shane, and Shane scoop SLAMS!

Shane runs to SPLASH Garcia again! Rampage returns to single picture, Shane drags Garcia to a drop zone, and he goes up a corner. The fans boo but Shane blows them a kiss. FALLING SPLASH FLOPS as Garcia moves! T he fans fire up, but Lee KICKS him down! Lee hurries back and tags in, then he drags Garcia up. Lee wrenches, wristlocks, but Garcia endures. Lee SNAPS the fingers! The fans boo Lee being so villainous, but he drags Garcia up. Lee bumps Garcia off buckles, Shane holds Garcia up, but Garcia fights free with boots and haymakers and elbows! The fans fire up, Garcia sends Lee into Shane!

Lee hurries to waistlock but Garcia switches, SAIDO! The fans are thunderous as Lee and Garcia crawl! Hot tags to  Shane and Shibata! Shibata BOOTS Shane! Shane roars, Shibata runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges and BOOTS! Shibata whips to BOOT Shane in the corner! Shibata fires forearms, the ref counts, but Lee runs up. Shibata DECKS him! Garcia RAMS Lee into a corner, climbs up, and while Shibata fires forearms on Shane, Garcia rains down fists! Garcia goes all the way to nine, then DOES HIS DANCE! Shibata and Garcia coordinate, DOUBLE HYDRAULIC DROPKICKS! The fans fire up and Garcia stands Shane up. Shibata runs in to BOOT!

Shibata CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS Shane, then CHOPS, CHOPS and JABS! Garcia does his dance while Shibata JABS and CHOPS to the rhythm! The fans are loving this, as now Garcia runs in to KNEE Shane! Shibata & Garcia get Shane up, to DOUBLE SUPLEX!! Cover, ONE?!? Shane has power to spare, but Garcia BOOTS him! Shibata BOOTS him! They go again, but this time Shane DOUBLE SUPLEXES them!! The fans boo but Shane tags in Lee. Lee runs up to clothesline Shibata, and JAB! And CHOP! JAB! CHOP! JAB! CHOP! Shibata just scowls at Lee! Lee says okay, and he fires more JABS and CHOPS!

Shibata steps into the shots, so Lee eggs him on! Shibata ROCKS Lee! Shane runs up, HEADBUTTS, then Lee HALF HATCH SLAMS! Cover, TWO!! Shibata toughs it out and STP grows frustrated. Lee drags Shibata up, kicks then waistlocks, but Shibata fights the lift! Shane storms in, helps Lee put on the full nelson, and Shane promises to knock Shibata out! But Shibata BOOTS Shane first! Garcia jumps on for a SLEEPER! Shibata switches on Lee for a SLEEPER!! The fans fire up as STP start fading out! Shane fires up to RAM Garcia into buckles! But Shibata BOOTS him! And Garcia SAIDOS!! Shibata PENALTY KICKS Lee!! Cover, The Wrestlers win!

Winners: Katsuyori Shibata & Daniel Garcia, by pinfall

Shibata helps Garcia stand up, and Garcia is proud to have won alongside one of his heroes! And with the fans cheering him on, Garcia sets up… to DO HIS DANCE! Will this momentum help Shibata avenge Hook and take that FTW Championship off of Chris Jericho? Or will The Learning Tree have some things to teach Shibata?

My Thoughts:

A great Rampage here, though I was oddly more excited when I thought it was just Deonna VS Rosa and the Parking Lot Brawl. But even so, at least Bill squashing a dude was used in story. He was showing off, he’ll surely have Jericho’s blessing if he helps defeat Shibata on Dynamite, but a part of me almost wants this to be all a trap. Bill was teammates with Ricky Starks in a feud against Jericho, and if Jericho is being obliviously arrogant then maybe Bill is using that against Jericho, too. But either way, let’s just hope this story helps Bill get going rather than slow him down like the #JerichoVortex has always done.

The Parking Lot Brawl was moving maybe a bit fast for me, especially with how there were some obvious spots already set up when they arrived, such as the drywall draped across the truck bed. But they surely got bloody, and in the end, Trent won out because he was willing to sink to the lowest low. And then they’ve written Chuck off again with that monkey wrench to the shin, so Cassidy VS Trent is definitely a Double or Nothing match. And something is just telling me that if Kris is gonna turn out to be the villain in the Willow Nightingale story, she’s probably gonna screw Cassidy over to help Trent, too.

Really good match from Deonna VS Rosa, and with Rosa getting a quick pin then that brawl, we’re clearly getting more out of them. Good promo from Kyle O’Reilly to hype AEW’s newest Canada tour, and good promo from The Kingdom to tie in their old Neck Health Awareness gag to the Tony Khan piledriver angle. Roddy calling out Ospreay, I would definitely think Ospreay wins the title at Double or Nothing. And really good tag main event from Shibata & Garcia VS Shane Taylor Promotions. STP keeps getting great showings even in losing, but Lee took the loss here to keep Shane himself strong. Great win for Shibata but this just adds to the go-home math where Jericho retains the FTW Championship on Dynamite.

My Score: 8.7/10


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