Coverage

Mitchell’s Lucha Underground Report! (8/15/18)

Published

6 years ago

August 16, 2018

Lucha Underground Season 4, “A Snake Scorned”

The Lucha Underground Trios Champions either need to make up or break up, because their titles are on the line against their most dangerous challengers yet!

Gifs can be found courtesy of http://frentique.tumblr.com/

OFFICIAL RESULTS

The Rabbit Tribe VS ???; rescheduled as…
Sacrifice to the Gods: Matanza Cueto VS Saltador; Matanza wins and Saltador is sacrificed.
Gift of the Gods Championship: El Dragon Azteca Jr. VS Killshot; Azteca wins and retains the Gift of the Gods Championship.
Lucha Underground Trios Championships Tornado Tag: The Mack, Son of Havoc & Killshot VS The Reptile Tribe; The Reptile Tribe wins and become the new Lucha Underground Trios Champions.

PLAY BY PLAY

Antonio Cueto reads a letter.

He is cordially invited to the wedding of Johnny Mundo & Taya Valkyrie. “It’ll never last.” But then he’s visited by Kobra Moon. The Reptile Tribe demands a rematch for the Lucha Underground Trios Championships. They never got their rematch from Ultima Lucha Tres. “And those titles are rightfully ours.” Antonio sees the Queen has fire after her loss last week. But according to his records, they’ve been losing since Ultima Lucha Tres. But the Reptiles are deadlier than ever. Oh? Because last week, Drago is dra-gone. Kobra doesn’t need Drago! She’ll prove it tonight. But she demands what her tribe is owed. “A woman is scorned is a sight I love to see.” Antonio gives her the match she wants. Now please, be dra-gone! Kobra slithers away, but will she really get what she wants?

The Rabbit Tribe VS ???

Antonio is surprised to see The Mad Hatter and his jumpy friend back again. Paul London says that Mala Suerte proved he does not do it like a rabbit. Because a true rabbit would never have taken a beating like that. Therefore, London hopes for a chance at retribution. Saltador will show us what a true rabbit can do. “Salty, don’t let us down.” Antonio says Saltador isn’t jumping anywhere. He’s the next… SACRIFICE TO THE GODS!!

Sacrifice to the Gods: Matanza Cueto VS Saltador!

Paul London, what have you done?! The Jumper has no choice but to fight the Monster God! Matanza storms the ring, and Saltador tries to run away. London keeps Saltador n the ring, then feeds him to Matanza. The bell rings and Saltador does whatever he can to beat up Matanza. He runs and htis a flapjack dropkick. He slides under Matanza, then shoulders him. Saltador springboards, but into teh cradle suplex! Matanza whips Saltador, for WRATH OF THE GODS! Matanza covers, Matanza wins!

Winner: Matanza Cueto, by pinfall

The Monster God is 5-0 since starting on this path of divine destruction. Saltador is sacrificed, yet London is still pleased? His Tribe is down to one, what is the purpose of his thinning the herd?

Son of Havoc and The Mack prepare backstage.

The Man from the Open Road wonders what Killshot’s up to, but The Mack has faith in his friend. Speaking of, it doesn’t seem like Killshot wants to be friends with Havoc at all. Killshot laughs as he comes in. That’s not it. Killshot likes Havoc, he just doesn’t respect him. Killshot doesn’t respect a man who was handed a title on a silver platter, or someone who tries to turn The Mack against Killshot.

The Mack tries to keep the peace, saying he hasn’t sided with anyone. Killshot begs to differ, seeing as how Mack chose Havoc to join the Gift of the Gods field over Killshot. “But guess what? You two failed to capture that title.” Killshot won’t. Havoc and Mack just now learn about Killshot’s double duty. But he feels they only care about gold. Havoc promises he’ll help them retain these titles, once he’s gotten the Gift of the Gods. And turns out, Havoc was right: Killshot doesn’t like him.

Antonio Cueto makes a huge announcement!

As reported via Matt Striker and Vampiro on commentary, El Padre del Jefe has decided that, with the animosity still strong between Pentagon Dark and Cage, they will have another Lucha Underground Championship match next week! And it will be in a Last Man (Or Machine) Standing Match! Antonio gives us the best for last, so which luchador will outlast the other?

Gift of the Gods Championship: El Dragon Azteca Jr. VS Killshot!

The Heir of the Eagle Tribe vows to take his title all the way to the main event of Ultima Lucha Quatro, but the Luchador of Mass Destruction seems to be going into business for himself. Killshot still has to defend his Trios Championship alongside Son of Havoc and The Mack. Will there be enough of him left to stand beside his partners in the main event? Or is he planning on becoming Lucha Underground’s first dual champion?

The belt is raised and the bell rings. The fans are fired up for Azteca as he circles with Killshot. Azteca and Killshot approach, and Azteca kicks low. Azteca chops swiftly, then whips. Killshot reverses but Azteca rolls through to then get a double wristlock. He hops up onto Killshot’s shoulders, for a spinning huricanrana! Killshot rolls out and walks it off, but Azteca builds speed. Azteca slides but Killshot goes up. Killshot waits for Azteca to slide back in and double stomps his back! Killshot then builds speed, to FLY! He wipes Azteca out, then puts him in the ring. Cover, TWO! Killshot stalks Azteca, brings him up, but Azteca fires forearms. Azteca whips but Killshot reverses and spins around to wring Azteca out. Killshot goes after the arms with a modified Rings of Saturn! Azteca endures as both arms are bent back by Killshot’s long legs!

Fans rally up and Azteca pops out. Killshot rolls him into a crucifix, TWO! The Believers are thunderous as Azteca is put in a corner. Azteca slips out and Killshot hits the post. Killshot goes down, Azteca builds speed, but Killshot hits back with a haymaker. Azteca blocks a bump to give one, then roundhouse Killshot. Azteca climbs, leaps and headscissors Killshot to the floor! Believers are fired up as he puts Killshot in the ring. Cover, TWO, but fans are dueling with all their heart. Killshot is in a corner, Azteca runs in for the spinning clothesline. Azteca slaps Killshot, but Killshot comes back with a corner back elbow! Killshot runs, but gets a super forearm! Azteca whips but Killshot reverses. Azteca slides out, Killshot follows, and they go around the corner, but Azteca hits a leg drop! Cover, TWO! Both men stir while fans rally up again.

Azteca bumps Killshot off buckles, then hoists him up top. Fans encourage him to speed up as he climbs up. Killshot fights back, and he puts Azteca on the apron for a kick! He joins Azteca on the apron but gets a kick in return. Killshot throws a haymaker but Azteca gives back. They brawl on the apron, Azteca jumps, but into a Death Valley Driver on the apron! They go back in the ring, Killshot climbs up and… KILL STOMPS! Cover, TWO!? Killshot is furious! How did Azteca survive? The Believers don’t care, they’re loving this!

Killshot shouts that this is his time to shine, then he slaps Azteca. Azteca slaps, Killshot slaps, back and forth, faster and faster. Killshot fires off more strikes, but his discus misses. His back elbow doesn’t, but neither does Azteca’s roaring elbow. Azteca runs, but into Killshot’s knee trigger! Killshot runs, but Azteca follows. Tilt-o-whirl DDT! Cover, Azteca wins!!

Winner: Dragon Azteca Jr, by pinfall; still Gift of the Gods Champion

The Eagle Tribe’s Heir continues to impress fans and shock his opponents. Can he continue his streak of defenses all the way to Ultima Lucha 4? As for Killshot, can he refocus for his Trios Championship defense in the main event?

Aerostar finds Drago on the roof.

The Luchador of Time & Space was given his wish of freeing his friend thanks to Johnny Mundo. He and the Worldwide Underground fought hard to free Drago. Yet Drago keeps hiding himself away. Drago says he doesn’t deserve a second chance. He did things that can never be forgiven. Aero says that wasn’t Drago, it was Kobra Moon pulling his strings. Those strings are now cut, and his friend is by his side. Drago says he doesn’t remember much, but he does know he isn’t worthy of that friendship. Drago must go, so please forgive him. Aerostar vows they will meet again. Drago is not so sure. They shake hands, and Drago flies away. Aerostar knows it in his heart, but will Dragon be able to clear his conscience?

Lucha Underground Trios Championships Tornado Tag: The Mack, Son of Havoc & Killshot VS The Reptile Tribe!

The defending champions clearly have more than just dysfunction dividing the three of them. Meanwhile, the Reptiles have lost the Luchasaurus but have gained the Undead Death Machine. Will the rift between the champions be the opening their opponents need to take back what they lost?

The Mack and Havoc make their entrance, but Killshot doesn’t. Is Killshot still tending to his wounds and wounded pride? There are no tags needed in a Tornado match, so as long as Killshot appears at all, this won’t be a Handicap match. Jeremiah “Snake” wants at the champions but he waits while the referee raises the belts. The bell rings and it’s a brawl. Snake takes Havoc while Kobra and Daga go after The Mack. The King & Queen drag Mack out of the ring. Snake pushes Havoc but Havoc hits back. Snake comes back on the rebound to run Havoc over. Things speed up while fans duel. Snake holds ropes but Havoc hero lands! Havoc dropkicks Snake down, but Daga reenters. Daga throws slapping palm strikes from both sides and knocks Havoc down.

The Mack returns and rocks Daga with a big forearm! Kobra slithers back in and acrobatically headscissors Mack to the ropes. Fans fire up, but Mack blasts Kobra with a dropkick! Snake returns to mule kick then whip Mack. Mack rolls off his back to arm-drag Snake, then things speed up again. Mack hits a running knee strike! Snake crawls but Mack is on him. Mack puts Snake in a corner and whips corner to corner. Snake reverses, but Mack headstands on the top rope. Snake SUPERKICKS Mack down to the ground! Killshot appears! He and Snake stare down, Luchador of Mass Destruction and Undead Death Machine. Snake spits on Killshot! Killshot bobs ‘n’ weaves with Snake’s swings, then he enziguris Snake down!

Killshot stalks Snake, then whips, Snake reverses and pops Killshot up. Snake throws Killshot but Killshot uses that to headscissor Snake forward. Killshot has Snake in a triangle choke! Kobra puts Killshot in one of her own, but then Havoc puts her in one! Daga grabs Havoc for his own triangle choke, but then Mack grabs the other end. Mack rolls Snake over, and the lucha-centipede they have created rolls with it! Havoc endures the Boston Crab while each link suffers a new level of torque on their necks! Snake, Killshot, Kobra and Havoc endure, but Daga is also suffering leg pressure. Daga reaches out and gets the ropebreak to stop all of this. The Mack lets go of Snake, and everyone goes free. Everyone but Mack goes to the outside, and the fans rally up. Mack builds speed, and FLIES! He wipes everyone out!

The Believers fire up and lose their minds while Mack brings Kobra up. Daga climbs up, but Killshot sees him first. Killshot boots Daga down, then builds speed to FLY! Fans cheer as Son of Havoc climbs back up. Havoc SUPER Asais onto all of them! The Believers declare “This is Awesome!” Kobra Moon is back in the ring, and she builds speed. Killshot stops her in her tracks, and rocks her with a right! He grabs her, suplexes but Kobra fights out. Snake triangle jump lariats Killshot down! Fans rally up as Kobra runs. Snake helps her with a wheelbarrow, and he tosses her at Killshot! Kobra throws Killshot with the huricanrana! Kobra puts Killshot in the ring, and he flounders to a corner.

Snake and Kobra coordinate as he brings her up suplex style. She headscissors Killshot and Snake gives him a bicycle boot! Snake then helps Kobra roll forward and back for a tornado DDT! They’re not done yet, as she rolls her way up onto Snake’s shoulders. Electric Chair back senton! Cover, but Havoc breaks it in time! Daga returns and rocks Havoc with strikes. He whips Havoc but Havoc rebounds for a cutter! Cover, but Snake breaks it. The Believers rally up again, not really choosing a side because they love it all. Snake brings Havoc up, lifts him, but Havoc pops out. Havoc wheelbarrows to double stomps. Cover, TWO! Havoc keeps going as he climbs up top.

Snake hurries over but Havoc cartwheels on the top rope. Havoc runs, but into the bicycle boot! Snake turns around into Killshot’s SUPERKICK! Daga clobbers Killshot with a clothesline, but Mack gives him a spinning back heel kick! Kobra gives Mack a backstabber, but he stands back up. He kicks low, Mack Stunner! Snake staggers over, but denies Mack’s stunner. They run, Mack gives Snake a Samoan Drop! To standing moonsault! TWO! Mack drags Snake into the drop zone, then climbs up. Snake stops him, tucks him in, and SUPERKICKS! Then Snake powerbombs Mack for a high stack, TWO, into a Stretch Muffler! Mack endures but Havoc saves him with double stomps, right into a DIVE onto Daga and Killshot! Havoc apologizes for hitting his teammate, but he boots Daga down.

Snake staggers over but Havoc swing kicks him away. Havoc climbs up, but Killshot shoves him down! Killshot doesn’t care if it was accident or not, he still hates Havoc. Snake grabs Havoc for the double underhook, to a shoulder breaker! Cover, The Reptiles win!!

Winners: The Reptile Tribe, Jeremiah Snake pinning; NEW Lucha Underground Trios Champions

Why, Killshot, Why!? The Reptile Tribe gets the titles back, but only because Killshot chose his grudge with Havoc over being champion. The snakes slither away while Killshot sits and laughs at Havoc. “Why can’t you get up?” Killshot says this is Havoc’s fault. Havoc sits up, and Killshot laughs at him more. Fans boo and jeer, they know this was Killshot’s doing. Killshot hops up, KILL STOMPS! The Mack can’t understand why, but Killshot passes the blame onto him, as well. Killshot leaves while Mack stays with Havoc. What will come of this betrayal and abandonment?

The Machine Called Cage heads to the ring!

The Temple’s resident Terminator gets one more shot at the Lucha Underground Championship against Pentagon Dark next week, and he has something to say. Pentagon will find out “once and for all” what Cage has been saying for years. “I’m not a man!” SUPERKICK from Pentagon! The champion is here now, and he tears into his challenger already! He bounces Cage off the railing while fans chant “Cero Miedo!” Pentagon aims at Cage, but his SUPERKICK hits a fan! Cage rocks Pentagon back with elbows, then drags him up the steps. Pentagon fights back and chops Cage. He kicks Cage’s leg, then gives a SHARP chop to his chest. Cage headbutts Pentagon, then drags him to the top of the stairs. He throws Pentagon into a wall, then into another.

They end up by the house band, and Pentagon takes one of Metalachi’s guitars. He’s aiming for Cage, but he hits one of the band members with it! Cage clobbers Pentagon again, then smacks him with whats left of the instrument. Cage drags Pentagon around and throws him into another wall. The security staff is no match for Cage, one guy gets scoop slammed onto the floor. There is a lot of collateral damage already, but this brawl is far from over. Cage tries to push Pentagon over the railing! Pentagon holds on for dear life, and manages to fight his way back up. Now Pentagon tries to do the same to Cage. Cage fights back and again tries to toss Pentagon over! Pentagon holds on so Cage brings him around. They keep brawling, and Cage whips Pentagon into a wall.

Believers clear out as the two end up on a camera platform. Pentagon kicks Cage and fires up, but Cage gives him uppercuts. Cage prepares to suplex Pentagon, but Pentagon fights out. Pentagon prepares his own move, “CERO MIEDO!” Cage resists, then rocks Pentagon with a leaping knee strike. Pentagon walks down to the bleachers but Cage pursues. They still brawl back and forth. Cage brings Pentagon down the bleachers and tosses him to the floor. Cage bumps Father Rick O’Shay, which angers The Machine. The man of the cloth doesn’t want any trouble, but Pentagon saves him as he SMACKS Cage with a chair! Father O’Shay is about to bless Pentagon, but Pentagon doesn’t care for any of that. He throws the priest down, and goes after his arm! Even Believers aren’t sure about this one, but he still breaks O’Shay’s arm!!

Cage has the chair, and he swings on Pentagon. Pentagon ducks and gets another chair, and the two SMACK each other at the same time! They keep brawling, and throwing each other into railing. Pentagon SUPERKICKS Cage but Cage keeps coming after him. Cage SUPERKICKS Pentagon, but Pentagon keeps chopping. This brawl is far from over, who will be the Last Man (Or Machine) Standing!?

The Mack visits Antonio Cueto.

“Killshot just cost us our Trios titles.” Mack wants at him next week. Antonio would love to see that, but he’s already given The Mack a match for next week. It’s by request from Catrina. Mack and Mil Muertes will be in the first ever Haunted House Match. Well if this is what Mack has to do to get Muertes off his ass, “Trick or Treat, Mother-” Shut yo mouth! Will Mack survive All Hallows Eve come early? Or will he come face to face with his deepest, darkest fears?

My Thoughts:

A pretty great episode right here. London willing giving his allies up to Matanza’s Sacrifices is still an interesting development. Now that he has no one, is London going to have The White Rabbit and evil Mascarita Sagrada joining him? I sure hope so. Lucha Underground is great at integrating stories together like this. The same goes for letting Azteca’s story of defending his Gift of the Gods Title all the way to Ultima Lucha coinciding with the dysfunction of Killshot, Mack and Son of Havoc. Killshot claims The Mack stopped being a friend, but he isn’t a very good friend in return. He and Azteca have a great match, and naturally Azteca wins to keep his story going. The Tornado Trios match was great, but it was pretty clear whatever team was put against the champions was going to win.

Obviously Killshot & Havoc are free to feud, and of course Mack has Mil Muertes next week. I can’t be sure if this Haunted House match is going to be exactly like the Broken Universe and other cinematic matches from Impact, or the WWE House of Horrors Match, but if any promotion can do something like that justice, it’s Lucha Underground. The small development between Drago and Aerostar was good. It works that Drago would be troubled by his time under Kobra’s control. Maybe he’ll return should Aerostar find himself in trouble with someone, especially if it’s the Reptile Tribe. With Aerostar and the Worldwide Underground responsible for freeing Drago, I expect the Reptiles to want revenge.

That was an amazing brawl to end the show. Pentagon and Cage gave us just a taste of what their Last Man Standing match will be like, and it even tied itself into another story: Mundo’s & Taya’s wedding. How clever of Lucha Underground to name the “priest” “Rick O’Shay”, as a strange nod but also dig at Ricochet, aka Prince Puma. Pentagon breaks the poor man’s arm, and that will likely upset Mundo & Taya. They might even cost Pentagon the title next week as payback for him ruining their wedding before it even happens. Or, should he win, they’ll attack him and then challenge him for the title to make up for it. Either way, Pentagon VS Mundo is likely to happen again really soon.

My Score: 8.5/10

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 5.2.2024

Under Siege is tomorrow! Yeah the card looks pretty awful, but maybe this Go Home will spice things up!

Published

3 hours ago

May 2, 2024

Andrew Balaz

Not gonna mislead anyone here, Under Siege looks nearly as bad as a Steven Segal film by the same name. Lots of useless tag matches, only really the X Division title to care about. It reminds me of a “Road to” show that New Japan does. Bunch of worthless matches with a few story wrinkles but entirely skippable.

Hopefully something crazy happens or the show is good enough to cover the bad card. But let’s hope something happens tonight to maybe create some reason to watch.

.@TheSamiCallihan debuts the first episode of #DMTV! #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/OWrTeBtRZ6

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) May 3, 2024

Ratings:

Mustafa Ali vs Chris Bey w/Ace Austin: Ali wins via 450 – **
Dani Luna w/Jody Threat vs Alisha Edwards w/Masha Slamovich: Lish wins via Russian Death Device – ** 1/4
Hammerstone vs Cody Deaner: Hammerstone wins via Torture Rack – *
#1 Contender Match: Ace Austin w/Chris Bey vs Trey Miguel w/Zachary Wentz: Ace wins via The Fold – ***
TNA Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Miyu Yamashita: Grace retains via Juggernaut Driver – *** 1/2

Results:

Mustafa Ali vs Chris Bey w/Ace Austin

Ali with a simple Headlock takeover, Bey fights back up and tries to create something with a rope run; but Ali gets the best of things with a Back Elbow. Ali gets cocky as Bey retreats to the corner, Bey turns things around quickly, lands the 10 Count Punches in the corner, Ali tries to fight back but Bey snaps off a quick DDT for a near fall. As Bey goes to continue the offense, Ali Drop Toe Holds Bey into the ropes neck first. Ali again, demonstrating some of the worst in-ring trash talk, Bey turns things around since Ali is running his mouth too much. Ali gets set in the Tree of Woe, Bey goes across to another corner and does a Coast to Coast Elbow Drop as Ali tries to sit up. Honestly, stupid looking since its obviously too coordinated. No one would stay half sat up just to eat an elbow.

While the move looked cool, I now care significantly less about what’s going on. Illogical spots just because “they’re cool”, should not be rewarded. Bey controls the match after the stupid spot, hits his Corner Uppercut Hip Attack, Ali tries to duck a few moves and create something but eats a Spinebuster for 2. Art of Finesse attempt, but Ali shoves him to the outside. Working back inside Ali goes for his Rolling Neckbreaker but Bey connects with a Roundhouse Kick to stop Ali in his tracks. Fighting Spirit spot, they run into the ropes, Ali has a bad Double Leg takedown that he tries to turn into a Cradle with feet on the ropes, but Ace pushes the feet off.

As security starts to move on Ace, Ali hits a Suicida, then Bey connects on a Tope con Hilo. Bey starts rocking Ali, hits the Kudome Valentine but Ali manages to pull himself under the bottom rope just enough to avoid losing. Bey climbs the corner, Ali German Suplexes Bey to the apron, Ali goes for the 450, misses, Bey goes to finish the match but the security get involved again, hit Bey with the flag and then Ali lands the 450 for the win.

I liked when the Security Guards were window dressing instead of mooks to cheat with. This just makes the matches dumber and significantly less interesting, especially when its nameless mooks and its not even a talent getting heat.

Dani Luna w/Jody Threat vs Alisha Edwards w/Masha Slamovich

Dani starts strong and fast, forearm shots, lariats and a quick near fall sends Alisha retreating to the ropes to get some advice from Masha. Dani goes to attack Lish, Lish with a Drop Toe Hold, Masha takes advantage of the distracted ref and Lish hits a Satellite DDT and then taunts entirely too much. As Lish talks too much, Dani stands up and starts beating the hell out of Lish, Suplex into the rope assisted Blue Thunder Bomb. Dani goes for the Luna Landing, but Masha climbs on the apron, distraction happens, then Lish goes after Jody and the ref stays distracted with Lish. Masha slides into the ring, Roundhouse Kick into the Russian Death Device and Lish turns around for the win!

Sami’s little segment is aptly named DMTv since it feels like a weird hallucination or trip with the way he does stuff.

Hammerstone vs Cody Deaner

Am I supposed to care about this? Hammerstone looks like he’s chiseled out of granite and Deaner looks like he’s fished out of a trailer park. Hammerstone says a lot of how I feel that the Deaner schtick is pathetic. Deaner says he’s given the power to add a stipulation, Hammer says Arm Wrestling Match, Deaner wants a Sin City Street Fight. So we know what the crowd will pick. Christ this is so carny even Court Bauer blushed.

Deaner bonks Hammer with the mic, low dropkick, goes to grab a trash can lid and hits Hammer…but it just pisses off Captain Hammer. Stomps a mudhole in him, Irish Whip into a Back Elbow and Hammer deposits him to the outside to utilize the gimmick I would assume. This is going on much longer than it should, Deaner finds a chair, clocks Hammer once, goes for Twice, but this isn’t Kpop; so Hammer says no and hits him with a Backbreaker. Then Hammer hits him with a chairshot, 10 Count Punches in the corner, Sack of Shit, Deaner goes for the Ricky Morton lean against the ropes and sell to the crowd spot, but Hammer leans into him and starts using the chair again.

Deaner does his nerd Hulk Up, tries to call for a Body Slam but Hammer doesn’t move and drops the dweeb down. Deaner is back to the begging the crowd Ricky Morton spot…but the crowd doesn’t care since Deaner is a jabroni. Hammer tosses Deaner like a pizza ribs first into the back of the chair and just takes a few moments to revel in his handwork. Deaner fights back, lands a few right hands, tries to call for the Body Slam again like an idiot, gets Hammer half way and falls over so Hammer just rains down punches (can we end this waste of time please). Hellavator, I mean Nightmare Pendulum but Deaner floats over and lands the Scoop Slam onto the steel chair for only 2.

The crowd starts chanting for table, so of course Deaner obliges…this is going on so damn long. Hammer no sells the forearm, Vertical Suplex, goozle, and then Hammer Chokeslams Deaner through the table and calls to for the Torture Rack. Deaner is Rack’d and dead. ‘Bout damn time.

Like a Torpedo, Something is there…

Trent The Seventh and Ball Of Speed, alongside Broken Matt Hardy, are geared up to render The System obsolete tomorrow night at #TNAUnderSiege! pic.twitter.com/laEOlXayIc

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) May 3, 2024

I’m mad at myself that I popped for Ball of Speed. I’m not even sure why, but I like it.

"Can you please get fired?"

.@joehendry's live apology transformed into a new hit about @AJFrancis410! The "apology" song took things HIGHER than ever! #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/6P7pDFbK3p

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) May 3, 2024

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it at least 3 dozen times, Joe Hendry is a treasure. Starting with a medley of the insult songs to lead into the Creed parody is genius. Odd apology, but I respect it. “Can you please get fired…”, such a great song.

#1 Contender Match: Ace Austin w/Chris Bey vs Trey Miguel w/Zachary Wentz

Typical Junior style start with counters and some chain wrestling and then a quick tension spot where Trey slaps Ace and then they fire off on each other for a few seconds before they get broken up because its just a shmoz. Trey baits Ace to the outside, Up and Over but Ace lands on the apron and then Wentz picks the ankle as Trey feigns injury to distract the referee. Back Rake back into the ring and just insulting Knife Edge Chops at a deliberate pace. Commercial break happens and Trey is still in charge. Ace shoots the Double and turns it into a Jacknife Cradle for 2 but Ace is still visibly hobbled.

Trey tries to keep Ace grounded but he tries to fire up and Trey finds different ways to keep Ace grounded including a Running Bodyscissors into Full Mount. Kick combination rush from Trey as he goes for the Asai Moonsault to punctuate it but Ace gets the knees up. Short range Knee Strike, Click Click Boom, Corner Splash Seated Lariat spot into a Triangle Kick for 2! Ace looks to set up The Fold, Wentz distracts, Trey grabs tights! But Ace kicks out! Trey with the Backflip Back of the Head Dropkick. Bey levels Wentz and Trey is talking shit to the fans, Ace goes for the Crucifix Pin, but kicks out at 2.

Jackie Bryant Headlock Kick from Trey, but Ace blocks it. Triangle Kick misses, Ace tries to jump on him but misses, Cheeky Nandos, then Trey heads up but Ace cuts him off. They struggle on the top rope, Trey Bell Claps Ace, Ace tries to duck but Trey turns it into the Sunset Flip, locomotion float away, Ace Face Stomp into The Fold! Ace wins!

.@TheEricYoung and @Walking_Weapon make their intentions clear: they're walking into #TNAUnderSiege ready to take down @SteveMaclin and @FrankieKazarian! #TNAiMPACT pic.twitter.com/idI78rvsYJ

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) May 3, 2024

The Bald Bearded Canadians, good ole team BBC…wait…

TNA Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Miyu Yamashita

They start off respectfully, which is what you expect since Miyu is well respected in this generation. A few Headlock Takeovers, Shoulder Blocks and finally Miyu drops Jordynne with a Switchblade Kick. Miyu goes to follow up, but Jordynne catches the kick and T-Bone Suplex gives Jordynne a near fall. Juggernaut Driver early, but Miyu counters, rams Jordynne into the corner, Triangle Kick from Miyu for 2! Cravat into Knee Strikes and then a PK to the spine keeps Miyu in control. Miyu lets Jordynne up and they trade strikes a bit, Jordynne’s arms prove to be a little stronger than Miyu’s legs, takes out the legs and then the Jackhammer on the floor from Jordynne!

Jordynne tries to roll Miyu back in, but Miyu continues to roll out to buy some space, Jordynne goes for a dive and eats a foot. Miyu looks for an Apron Death Valley Driver, Jordynne fights it a while but Miyu eventually gets her over and down on the apron for 2. Miyu with a Headlock Takeover, but both ties the other one up and the ropes save the awkward but effective exchange. Strike exchange number 2. Miyu no sells a few Scoop Slams and lands Round Kicks. Spinning Backfist and Round Kick connect simultaneously for both women to drop.

Jordynne charges, Pink Striker tries to block with the front kick, but Jordynne plows through with a Back Elbow. Kinniku Buster attempt but Miyu knows how to get away from that and fights off with Knee Strikes, Jordynne is rocked but fights back up and Avalanche Back Body Drop for 2! Jordynne no sells a Roundhouse Kick, Miyu no sells a Lariat then another kick from Miyu and a Back Kick to the face for 2. Skull Kick attempt, blocked, Juggernaut Driver out of nowhere to retain!

Overall Score: 6.25/10

The second half of the show was pretty damn good, but God was the first half useless. Hammerstone and Deaner went on far too long, that was dumb, it looked dumb, I felt dumb watching it. Ali’s match was garbage with the stupid spot monkey indie garbage spot. If I want to watch wrestling that makes less sense than Chinese Dramas with Hindi subtitles, I’ll watch AEW and have a stroke.

Thankfully, Joe Hendry got a good chunk of time, the Trey and Ace match was pretty good and overlooking the stupid run in after match stuff, the Knockouts match itself was pretty damn good. So the new bookers have really consistently done this stuff, where there’s a ton of overbooked stupidity, but they sprinkle in enough okay stuff to make me not completely lose faith. OH – and we do get Kushida versus Gresham tomorrow, so at least that strengthens the lackluster card.

Lets see if they ever figure out how to really book, or if they eventually go full TNA 2015.

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (5/2/24)

The Queen is chasing the crown!

Published

6 hours ago

May 2, 2024

Steven Mitchell

Will the One and Only become the #1 contender?

Queen Aminata wants after Athena and the ROH Women’s World Championship, but she will still earn her way to a shot, starting with a match tonight!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

The Infantry VS The Outrunners; The Infantry wins.
Nyla Rose VS Camron Branae; Nyla wins.
ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Grounds: The Undisputed Kingdom VS The Qrown; The Kingdom wins and denies The Qrown a title match.
Toa Liona VS Jimmy Wild; Liona wins.
Six Man Tag: The Dark Order VS Adam Priest, Zicky Dice & Sean Maluta; The Dark Order wins.
Aaron Solo VS Jon Cruz; Solo wins.
Queen Aminata VS Robyn Renegade; Aminata wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Infantry VS The Outrunners!

Captain Shawn Dean & Carlie Bravo have had it with Turbo Floyd & Truth Magnum! It’s one thing to use the same finishing move and rename it, but then The Outrunners’ new gear is camouflage, and they start using the Infantry’s catchphrases! Will Turbo & Truth get sent to Boot Camp? Or will Dean & Bravo be sent into Miami Overdrive?

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Who is this accompanying The Outrunners? Lazer Linda? So now they’re copying Infantry in having a female team member? Trish Adora steps into the ring to get a good look at Linda. Linda flexes on Adora, so Adora gives her a LARIAT TUBMAN! The Outrunners are upset but then Dean & Bravo storm up to throw hands! The ref reprimands but The Infantry keep throwing hands. Dean whips Truth and Bravo whips Turbo, but the Outrunners both reverse that. Dean and Bravo both dodge, then they both fake the Outrunners out! Those dropkicks get nothing, and then The Infantry DROPKICK The Outrunners!

The Outrunners bail out, The Infantry fire up and Daily’s Place fires up with them! The ref says they finally need to sort out, so Bravo falls back. Truth flounders in, the bell finally sounds, and Dean arm-drags Turbo around! Dean keeps Turbo from Truth, tags Bravo in, and then Dean wrenches while Bravo hops up. Bravo AX HANDLES Turbo’s arm, then brings him around to wrench. Tag to Dean, he goes up and AX HANDLES! Then the Infantry double whip, and double atomic drop, for a double HIP TOSS! The Infantry now mock The Outrunners, before the double FIST DROP! Turbo flounders away and tags in Truth!

Truth runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Then another DOUBLE FIST DROP! Cover, TWO! Truth stays in this but Dean storms up on him. Turbo distracts the ref, Truth pokes Dean in the eye! Truth blames it on the sunset, then bumps Dean off buckles. Tag to Turbo and the Outrunners mug Dean. Tag back to Truth, he goes up, BACKBREAKER, and then Truth winds up! But Bravo sneaks behind enemy lines to get Dean outta there, Truth’s knee drop turns into an accidental atomic drop! The Infantry then get in and TOSS Turbo! Bravo aims to PLANCHA! Down goes Turbo and the fans fire up again!

Dean brings Truth up, throws hands, then tags in Bravo. Dean scoops Truth, Bravo goes up, and they hit the BACKBREAKER and “Grenade” KNEE DROP! The fans fire up more and Bravo brings Truth up. Truth throws a shot but Bravo hits back. Bravo whips, Truth reverses, but Bravo gets around! Turbo tags in before the O’Conner Roll! Turbo runs up but Bravo dodges him to SUPERKICK! Turbo ends up on ropes, and Bravo ROCKS Truth! Bravo whips, Truth reverses and Turbo BODY SHOTS! Turbo BLASTS Dean, gets Bravo, and sends him into Truth’s BOOTS! Bravo staggers, Turbo CLAWS him on the back!

Tag to Truth and the Outrunners mug Turbo. The fans are torn, but Truth CHOPS Bravo in a corner! Truth spins around while the fans “WOO~!” Truth then storms back up, whips corner to corner, but Bravo reverses. Bravo runs up, but slides under as Truth goes up! Bravo then trips Truth, and asks if he should. The fans say yes, so Bravo YANKS Truth backwards into the POST! Bravo high-fives fans, but then Turbo FLYING AX HANDLES off the apron! Dean protests but there’s nothing he can do as Turbo puts Bravo back in. Truth drags Bravo over, tags Turbo, and Turbo drops an elbow! Cover, TWO!

Turbo drags Bravo up, tags Truth back in, and they mug Bravo with a big kick! Bravo sputters while the Outrunners flex. Truth whips, Bravo sunset flips, but Truth flails! Truth reaches for the literal sunset but Bravo finishes the flip, TWO! Bravo reaches for Dean but Truth trips him up! Tag to Turbo, and he drops down into a CROSSFACE! Bravo endures, fights up, but Turbo tags Truth. The Infantry get Bravo up, but Bravo BOOTS Turbo away! Bravo ELBOWS Truth, then ROCKS Turbo! And repeat! And repeat! Bravo runs, but into the DOUBLE HIP TOSS! The Outrunners shake hands and flex, DOUBLE ELBOW DROP!

Turbo BLASTS Dean, Truth covers, but Dean gets back in to kick it! Truth is upset but he stomps Bravo. Truth whips Bravo to the corner, then he BLASTS Dean again! Truth runs at Bravo but Bravo slips out to the apron! Truth hits buckles, Turbo storms up but Bravo dodges by going back inside! Bravo then slips out the other side, and Truth runs into Turbo! Bravo slingshots in for a STUNNER! The fans fire up as Bravo crawls for his corner, but Turbo grabs a foot! Turbo drags Bravo up, back suplexes, but Bravo lands out! Bravo avoids both Outrunners to hot tag Dean! The fans fire up as The Captain rallies on The Outrunners!

Dean fires haymakers and LARIATS! Then a back drop for Truth! The fans fire up as Dean runs in to give Turbo a FLYING BACK ELBOW! Dean goes corner to corner, blocks Truth’s boots, and puts him in ropes for an ENZIGIRI! Truth flops down, Turbo takes a swing, but Dean slips around to DDT! Dean kips up, the fans fire up, and they join Dean in an “OORAH!” JUMP ELBOW DROP! Cover, Truth breaks it! Truth TOSSES Dean out, but Bravo runs up! CARLIE CROSSOVER! Down goes Truth, but Turbo CLUBS Bravo! BIG back suplex! But Dean’s up top! FLYING SPLASH! Cover, Truth runs in, but Dean moves! The AX HANDLE hits Turbo!

Truth panics and apologizes, but then sees Dean! Truth wants mercy, but then he goes to poke eyes! Dean blocks those, bends those fingers, but Turbo CLUBS Dean down! The Outrunners shift into gear, MIAMI OVER- NO, Dean slips around and the BOOT hits Truth! Tag to Bravo and they get Turbo, for BOOT CAMP! Cover, Infantry wins!

Winners: The Infantry, by pinfall

Often imitated, never duplicated! The one, true Russian Leg Sweep Boot combo shines through, and that’s no cap! Dean & Bravo finally settle things with Turbo & Truth, will they march forward to settle things with The Undisputed Kingdom next?

Matthew Menard & Angelo Parker speak.

Cool Hand Ange tells Daddy Magic that things have been rather weird lately, to say the least. Not too long ago, Parker was on Rampage, going to make an announcement he told no one about, and the truth is, he was ready to retire. He felt he didn’t have anything left to fight for. Then he got the biggest news of his entire life, he found out he’s gonna be a dad! And if that doesn’t light a fire under your ass, then what does? So now, Ruby Soho is going to be at home, being a mom to their child, and Parker had to think, “What’s next?” Then he realized, there is a hell of a lot to fight for now, isn’t there?

Menard says how ’bout it? Ruby’s at home, nesting. Cool Hand Ange has priorities in order and Menard loves it! And tell ya right now, Menard has a problem with The Undisputed Kingdom. The ROH World Tag Team Champions, right? So how about this? They get the van, they pack it up, and they start taking a road trip! Van, train, airplane, who cares?! They’re heading to a certain place called The Promised Land! So get ready, boys! No doubt! Ever-Rise, 2Point0, X-JAS, will the next titles Menard & Parker go by be ROH World Tag Team Champions?

ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Grounds: The Undisputed Kingdom VS The Qrown!

Speaking of, Matt Taven & Mike Bennett are here to defend those titles! Or at least, make teams earn their way to a shot at the titles. Will The Kingdom check another team off the list? Or will Leonis & Maximus Khan be one step away from the crown?

The teams sort out, Bennett starts against Leonis, and the Code of Honor is kept. The bell rings, the fans rally up, and the two circle. They tie up, and the bigger Leonis powers Bennett to the corner. The ref counts, Leonis lets off, but Bennett kicks low! Bennett CHOPS, then brings Leonis around to ROCK him! Bennett stomps and CHOPS Leonis, then tags Taven. The Kingdom double whip, dropkick the legs out then Taven ELBOW DROPS! Cover, TWO! Taven throws down hands, stomps Leonis over and over, even at the ropes! Taven CHOKES Leonis, lets off, and the fans cheer as Taven tags Bennett.

Taven CHOPS Leonis, Bennett stomps and CHOPS, then ROCKS him again! And stomps, and ROCKS! Bennett ROCKS Leonis again, talks trash, then tags Taven. Taven CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Taven then reels Leonis in, but Leonis throws body shots! Taven CLUBS Leonis down, tags Bennett, and they bring Leonis in. But Leonis powers out, ROCKS Taven, then ROCKS Bennett! Leonis throws haymakers, then an UPPERCUT for Bennett! Then Leonis catches Taven to OVERHEAD SUPLEX him away! Maximus reaches out but Bennett whips Leonis into a BOOT! Bennett FOREARMS, Taven LARIATS! Bennett covers, TWO!

The fans rally and Bennett stomps Leonis. Bennett CHOPS Leonis, tells him to get up, then brings him to a neutral corner. Bennett ROCKS Leonis, brings him over, and tags Taven. Taven fires up Daily’s Place before he swings, but Leonis dodges to CHOP! And CHOP! Taven knees low, tags Bennett, and The Kingdom double whip. Leonis holds ropes, KICKS Bennett, then TOSSES Taven! Bennett kicks Leonis first, then reels him in, but Leonis back drops free! Hot tag to Maximus! Maximus rallies on The Kingdom with big LARIATS! Bennett runs up, Maximus dodges then URENAGES! The fans fire up with Maximus and he brings Bennett up.

But Taven springboards, KICK OF THE KING! Bennett BLASTS Leonis, Taven goes up! HAIL MARY PILEDRIVER!! Cover, The Kingdom wins!

Winners: The Undisputed Kingdom, by pinfall (denies The Qrown a title opportunity)

Taven & Bennett just showed The Qrown aren’t #NeckStrong enough, and now The Kingdom is moving on. But will they soon cross paths with Menard & Parker?

JD Drake speaks.

“You ever been lost? Lord knows I have. I’ve been lost for the last month. In light of recent events, my brain’s been foggy, I haven’t been able to articulate words, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. It’s showing up in my in-ring work, it’s showing up in my personal life at home. Hell, it’s showing in my bowling game at home, too. The other night during league, I asked myself, ‘Hey, where do I go from here?'” JD asked the lady cashier for change on $5, he only got back four bills. Three ones, and a $2! Yeah, a real $2, those still exists.

JD says his grandfather recently passed away, February of this year, God rest his soul, would put a $2 in every grandchild’s picture frame. JD once asked why he did that, he said it’s because they’re gonna need to talk to him one day, and this $2 was gonna be the message. Granddad would also say, when times get tough, you’ve got two choices: quit, or tighten your bootstraps up and get back to work. So while the Workhorsmen may not be a thing for the foreseeable future, time for JD to be a workhorse man. The Blue Collar Badass is gonna punch in, knockout, and give ROH a $2 ass kicking. Scrap Metal is ready to scrap, will he turn that $2 into championship gold?

The Iron Savages speak.

Bulk Bronson says, “Underappreciated. Underutilized. Undervalued. We, the Iron Savages, have been parading around like a circus act for an entire year, winning over the hearts of the ROH fans and keeping them all entertained.” Jacked Jameson asks, “Are we in any tournaments?” Bronson & Boulder both say, “No.” Are they on any PPVs? No. And y’know what? No more goofy savages, no more popping the crowd! Boulder says the adoration is not bringing them success. Time for the Iron Savages, yes, the Iron Savages, to live up to their potential! Jameson says frankly, fat morons and skinny idiots don’t deserve their entertainment.

They aren’t changing their game plan, it just means they’re done winning over “Low T losers!” They’re just gonna win. They’re sippin’ sauce, livin’ hoss, and EVERYBODY is going to #TiddyCity! Will these three start tearing their way through the ROH Tag & Trios Divisions until they’re sinking their teeth into titles?

Aaron Solo VS Jon Cruz!

Aaron is tired of riding solo and going nowhere, so in order to get back in the good graces of Johnny TV, he’s gotta get that W back! Or in this case, he just has to get wins period! Will he be able to do that here at Daily’s Place where he became All Elite? Or will Serpentico’s human friend get his own great homecoming win?

Cruz gets the fans fired up as he offers The Code of Honor. Solo takes it, the bell rings, and then Solo kicks low! Solo DECKS Cruz, has him in a corner, and bumps him off buckles. Solo stomps a mudhole in, digs his boots in and laughs, but lets off as the ref counts. Solo brings Cruz up, snap suplexes, then smiles as he soaks up the heat. Cruz flounders, the fans rally, but Solo throws hands. Solo whips, Cruz ducks ‘n’ dodges and RANAS! Solo flounders, Cruz keeps moving and he LARIATS! The fans fire up with Cruz and he brings Solo around. Cruz scoops to POWERSLAM, then fires up as he shakes the ropes!

The fans cheer as Cruz points to a corner. Cruz goes up, aims, and then FROG SPLASH FLOPS as Solo moves! GERMAN SUPLEX! Cruz springs up but Solo gives him the DREAMCAST KICK! Cover, Solo wins!

Winner: Aaron Solo, by pinfall

Solo makes sure Johnny TV saw that! There’s the first win, will he get more and more until he proves he’s TV Ready like Johnny & Taya?

Queen Aminata VS Robyn Renegade!

The One and Only African Woman Wrestler is an uncrowned queen here in ROH, but she is going to fight her way back up to her revenge! Will she be unstoppable as she chases down Athena and Billie Starkz? Or will this Renegade defy Aminata’s authority?

The Code of Honor is kept, the bell rings, and the fans rally for Aminata with “YES, QUEEN!” The two tie up, Aminata headlocks and she grinds Renegade. Renegade brings Aminata down, pops out the back and headlocks in return. Aminata endures, brings Renegade to her knee, and pops out the back to wrench, step over, and twerk attack! The fans cheer but Renegade is frustrated. Aminata hammerlocks, headlocks and hits the takeover. Renegade moves around, fights up, and powers up, only for Aminata to hold on tight. Aminata wrenches, Robyn breaks free and ENZIGIRIS! Then BACKSTABBER!

Aminata crawls, Robyn soaks up the heat and she kicks rocks before she runs up. Aminata puts Renegade on the apron, shoulders in but gets a DOUBLE STOMP for it! Renegade talks trash, kicks Aminata to the floor, then brings her back up to put her in the ring. Renegade brings Aminata up, reels her in, but Aminata turns things into a cradle! TWO, and Aminata runs up to LARIAT! Renegade gets up, Aminata LARIATS again! Renegade swings, but into a spin, snapmare, and PENALTY KICK! Back of the onion bag with that one! Aminata fires the fans up, runs side to side, and she DROPKICKS Renegade through ropes!

Aminata reminds us, she’s the one and only! But then we see Athena & Billie watching this backstage! Athena whispers something to Billie, perhaps some opening or weakness in Aminata’s game. Billie seems to concur while Aminata scuffs Renegade. Cover, TWO! Renegade holds on but Aminata brings her up. Alabama Lift, but Renegade sunset flips and high stacks! TWO, and Renegade swings, but into a wrench and facelock, snap suplex! Emphasis on the snap as Renegade flounders to a corner. The fans fire up and Aminata runs corner to corner, but Renegade ELBOWS back! Renegade runs in, gets around, half nelson FACEBUSTER!

Renegade sits Aminata up, runs and SHOTGUNS her down! Cover, TWO! Aminata is tougher than that but Renegade snarls. The fans taunt Renegade, “ROBYN SUCKS!” Renegade drags Aminata up, fireman’s carries, and swing into the DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Aminata stays in this but clutches her neck and back. Robyn is frustrated, but she drags Aminata up. Robyn DOUBLE CHOPS! Aminata is annoyed, but Robyn pushes her around. Robyn winds up, Aminata BOOTS the lariat, then DOUBLE CHOPS in return! And CHOPS again! And waistlocks, to GERMAN SUPLEX!

Robyn ends up in the corner again, and Aminata runs up, SWEET HIP MUSIC! But Aminata goes side to side to add the BOOT WASH!! Aminata says it is done now! She drags Robyn back up to HEADBUTT, Alabama Lift, and AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, Aminata wins!

Winner: Queen Aminata, by pinfall

Athena & Billie are not happy with that result, they storm off. Aminata is not just ready, she is looking better than ever! Will not even The Fallen Goddess be able to deny The Queen her crown?

My Thoughts:

A very good episode of ROH, mostly because it was under an hour. Yes, I still skipped things but c’mon, it was obvious Nyla was going to win, as were Liona and The Dark Order. Great opener from Infantry VS Outrunners to settle their feud, and I love that the Outrunners went as far as to get a female member of the team to parody Adora, just as I was thinking they would. Great win for Infantry, they’ll definitely get back in the ROH Tag title conversation in time for the next ROH PPV. And very good Proving Ground match, good showing for The Qrown in their first ROH match. But even so, of course The Kingdom was winning.

As such, we got a really good promo from Menard & Parker. I really hope they get a strong showing here in ROH now that they’re teaming together again. And there’s still Maria wanting Griff & Karter going after the titles, there’s needs to be something big in the works for the ROH Tag Division. And really good promo from JD Drake. Granted, this is another case where Tony Khan does something in his booking/running of the company that kinda forces his talent into these worked shoot promos, what with Anthony Henry being released while he’s injured. But JD did a great job referencing that without having to say it, and I hope he gets going in the singles division.

Good promo from The Iron Savages to officially go Heel, but given the unified AEW & ROH Trios champs are also Heels, we aren’t seeing Bronson, Boulder & Jameson holding gold any time soon. Good match from Solo, but I was hoping he’d have to struggle a little longer before he could win and do what Johnny TV dared him to do. And then very good match from Aminata VS Robyn, especially with the detail of Athena & Billie watching. Aminata of course wins, and I would think she skips revenge on Billie to go right to the head of the snake. Aminata VS Athena will be a great match, and really should be the moment Athena passes on the torch as far as being ROH Women’s World Champion.