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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (1/4/23)

It’s a golden new year!

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AEW Coverage Lasers

New year, new look, same action!

AEW starts off 2023 in championship fashion! The Relentless Darby Allin is in his hometown of Seattle, going after Samoa Joe and the TNT Championship! Plus, Team Triple J looks to take the World Tag Team Championships from The Acclaimed! Will the year start with the end of reigns?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Ricky Starks VS Chris Jericho w/ Matthew Menard & Angelo Parker; Starks wins.
  • AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Acclaimed w/ Billy Gunn VS Triple J w/ Sonjay Dutt & Satnam Singh; The Acclaimed win and retain the titles.
  • Bryan Danielson VS Tony Nese w/ Mark Sterling & Josh Woods; Bryan wins.
  • Swerve Strickland w/ Mogul Affiliates VS AR Fox; Swerve wins.
  • Jade Cargill & Red Velvet w/ Leila Grey VS Kiera Hogan & Skye Blue; Cargill & Velvet win.
  • AEW TNT Championship: Samoa Joe VS Darby Allin; Darby wins and becomes the new AEW TNT Champion.

PLAY BY PLAY

Ricky Starks VS Chris Jericho w/ Matthew Menard & Angelo Parker!

The Absolute was not interested in joining the “JAS holes” of the Jericho Appreciation Society, so now they’re going to teach him a lesson! Will Starks regret saying no to #THEOCHO? Or will The Wizard’s 2023 be an absolute wreck?

The bell rings and Seattle is all fired up for “Ricky! Ricky!” Jericho flips Seattle off and they boo. Jericho and Starks tie up, Jericho arm-drags and grins as he high-fives Daddy Magic. Jericho mocks the fans, circles with Starks, and they tie up. Jericho wrenches, Starks wrenches back but Jericho whips Starks away. Starks comes back to run Jericho over! Starks strikes his pose and fans fire up more. Jericho gets up to SLAP Starks! But Starks SLAPS back! Starks then fires off hands from all sides and corners Jericho! The ref counts, has to pull Starks back, and Jericho bails out., Starks goes out after Jericho to CHOP and CHOP and whip into steel steps!

Starks gets Angelo Parker to back off, then he goes back to Jericho. Fans fire up as Starks poses, Starks puts Jericho in the ring, but Jericho kicks low! Jericho CHOPS and CHOPS Starks in the corner. And CHOPS again! Jericho whips corner to corner, runs in and clotheslines, then grins as he fires off point-blank clotheslines! The ref counts, Jericho pushes Aubrey Edwards! Jericho raises his hands but Aubrey makes him put them down. Fans fire up for Aubrey but Jericho CHOPS Starks again. Jericho whips, Starks KICKS back! Starks knuckle locks, CHOPS, and goes up the corner! Starks walks the ropes for the OLD SCHOOL!

Fans fire up, Starks fireman’s carries! SWINGING FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Starks is frustrated but he tells off the “JAS holes.” Fans echo “JAS HOLES!” while Starks kicks Jericho. Starks CHOPS, runs, but Menard trips him up! Jericho clobbers Starks to the apron! Fans boo but Jericho runs to triangle jump- HAYMAKER from Starks! Starks drags Jericho to the apron, but Jericho throws body shots! Jericho CLAWS Starks’ back! Jericho then ROCKS Starks with forearms, pokes him in the eye, and then hits a suplex to the floor! Both men are down and fans lose their minds! Cool Hand Ange checks on Jericho while AEW goes picture in picture.

Aubrey has Menard & Parker back up while Jericho and Starks stir. Menard coaches Jericho up, Parker fans Jericho off, but the count is already 6 of 10 before Jericho crawls his way over. Jericho gets in at OCHO, and then Starks is in at 9! Fans rally as Starks crawls to a corner. Jericho runs in to KICK Starks in the side! Jericho snarls and he drags Starks up to ROCK him with a forearm! Starks staggers about, ends up in another corner, but Jericho bumps him off buckle after buckle after buckle! Jericho then CLUBS Starks down, stalks him to yet another corner, and digs his boots in! Aubrey counts, Jericho lets off at 4 to soak up the heat.

Starks drags himself up, Jericho storms back over, but Starks ROCKS Jericho with haymaker after haymaker! Starks runs, but into a DROPKICK! Dynamite returns to single picture as Jericho has his cocky cover, TWO! Jericho rains down fists on Starks, then soaks up more heat. Fans boo but Jericho drags Starks up to CHOP! Starks falls into the corner, but fans rally behind him. Jericho drags Starks up, whips him corner to corner, but Starks comes back to LARIAT Jericho! Fans fire up while both men are down again. Fans rally up, both men rise, and Starks grabs at Jericho. Jericho CHOPS, but Starks CHOPS!

Starks throws hands, Jericho gives them back! Jericho CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOPS! Jericho whips, Starks CLOBBERS him! And then DROPKICKS! Fans fire up again while Menard & Parker freak out! Starks fires up, feeding off that energy! Starks reels Jericho in, but Jericho fights free to fire off forearms. Jericho ROCKS Starks in the corner, fires off some more, then whips Starks to ropes. Starks kicks low, reels Jericho in, and gets Jericho up, LIGER BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Jericho survives and Starks is frustrated but Seattle is still on Starks’ side. Starks runs, but into a THROAT CHOP! Jericho then hits a LIONSAULT onto Starks’ knees!

Fans fire up as Starks saves himself! Starks then hurries to the corner and climbs up! MOONSAULT but Jericho moves! Starks hobbles, but he blocks the Code Breaker! Starks shoves Jericho away, SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO!! Jericho survives again and crawls to a corner. Starks runs in but only gets buckles! Jericho runs to CODE BREAKER! Fans boo but Jericho waits on Starks to stand. JUDAS- NO, Starks blocks it! And underhooks Jericho, into the ROSHAM- NO! Jericho trips Starks! Starks fights, but Jericho turns him! WALLS OF JERICHO!! Starks endures, powers up, claws his way forward, but Jericho drags him away!

Jericho sits deep on the Walls, but Starks still hangs in there! Starks crawls forward, but Parker distracts Aubrey! And just as Starks has the ROPEBREAK! Menard CLOBBERS Starks with Floyd the Baseball Bat!!! Fans boo but The JAS gets away with one! Jericho drags Starks from the ropes, Aubrey checks Starks, the arm drops once. The arm drags twice! The arm- STAYS UP!! Starks fights back up with new life!! Starks crawls his way forward, reaches out, but turns over! Starks fires off fists on Jericho, then BOOTS him away! Jericho staggers into a cradle! TWO!?!? Jericho narrowly escapes! And he BOOTS Starks!

Jericho runs, but Starks turns that into a TORNADO DDT!! Menard gets on the apron, Starks DECKS him! Parker gets back on the apron, Starks DECKS him, too! Jericho rushes in, Starks dodges, and SPEARS!!! Cover, STARKS WINS!!

Winner: Ricky Starks, by pinfall

But wait! The rest of the JAS Holes rush out! Daniel Garcia, Jake Hager & Sammy Guevara attack Starks to ruin the absolute upset! But here comes ACTION ANDRETTI!! He has the burn marks from Jericho’s fireball, and a chair in his hand! Action JAMS Parker, rushes in and JAMS Garcia! And Guevara! And then dodges Hager to SMACK him on the back! Action SMACKS Garcia, SMACKS Guevara, and is all fired up!! Hager stands up, but ANNA JAY stops Action! And Tay Melo LOW BLOWS him! Now Action gets mugged! The JAS has numbers on their side! Jericho CHOKES Starks! Fans boo but now Menard & Parker add a TABLE to the mix!

Fans tell off the JAS Holes, but Hager hauls Starks up and around, to POWERBOMB through the table!!! The entire Jericho Appreciation Society are sore losers, but they’re the ones standing tall. Will Starks & Andretti need back-up to get back at them all?

 

AEW returns and Tony Schiavone is in the ring.

Schiavone shouts out the great crowd in Seattle, and he now welcomes the Cowboy, Hangman Adam Page! Fans fire up as Hangman makes his way out to the ring. Hangman joins Schiavone, and Schiavone says we’ve heard a lot about Jon Moxley wanting a match with Hangman at the LA Forum for Dynamite. “But the question still remains: your condition. Can you go in the ring?” Hangman takes a moment, and then says, “There is nothing that I wanted more than to come out here tonight and tell you I can go. But as of today, I am not medically cleared to compete.” Fans boo, they’re disappointed.

Hangman says that he’s been told, that if he were to come out here tonight or even on Friday night, and get into a little fight with Moxley, it will set him back one more week, one more week, one more week, and we do this forever! That’s not what Hangman wants. What Hangman wants is the same thing Moxley wants, and that is a match at the Forum. Luckily, Hangman has a date. If he takes a redeye home tonight, gets that last brain scan, and it comes out good, then he WILL be cleared for the Forum! And he doesn’t care if it’s in the ring, in catering, or on the roof, Hangman will fight Moxley, and “knock your dick in the dirt!” That’s a new one…

But wait! Here comes Moxley! We were going to hear from him either way, so The Maniac makes his way out to the ring now! Moxley enters from the stands as always, grabs himself a mic, then steps into the ring. The two stare down and Seattle fires up! Moxley says, “I’m surprised you even made it here tonight. After everything you’ve been through. I’m getting a little sick of everyone taking something so beautiful, and treating it like an unfortunate accident. I’m a little sick of the flowers and sympathy cards and this ongoing candlelight vigil for Hangman Page.” Fans chant, “We Can’t Hear You!” More a comment on the technical difficulties than anything.

Moxley wants a new mic, so he gets one. “Seattle, Seattle.” The fans cheer because now they hear him! Moxley tries again but the mic is cutting in and out. Well, this is live television. Moxley asks, “Is the effing mic on? Okay. Go Seahawks, let’s get this back on track.” Fans cheer for that! Moxley finishes his thought about the flowers, cards and vigil for Hangman. When Moxley thinks of everything he’s put himself through in his career, of wrestling for two months with a torn bicep, being shipped off to India and Bahrain, no one has gotten knocked down more times than Moxley. When Moxley thinks the plates of crap he had to eat and the miles of crap he had to crawl through…

But Moxley’s not here to play the victim. Moxley says it all just makes him sick. Hangman takes the mic from Moxley, and he says, “You think I’m mad at you because you knocked me out? Is that really what you think?” Hangman wishes this wasn’t true, but he’s been knocked out more than he can count! Knocked out by enemies, knocked out by strangers, knocked out by best friends! “It’s an unfortunate part of what we do, and I would never be mad at you for it. But you don’t seem like a guy for nuance, so I’ll put it to you simple. What I’m mad about is how you called me out here. And when I stood face to face with you, you didn’t let me get a word in, before you made a joke.

“You nearly took my career from me! You nearly changed my life. And you wanted to crack a joke about it? I think I know why, Mox. I think I know why. I think in that moment, you felt threatened. Because if I know Jon Moxley and he got knocked out, the first thing he’d do is come back for revenge, and that’s not what I was there for that night. But it is what I’m here for now.” Fans like the sound of that! Hangman tells Moxley, “I’ve had a month to stew on what you said to me, and I’ve had two months to stew on how you knocked me out with a lariat. So simple, brutal and effective. And if anyone knows about that, it’s me, Jon.

“And I’ve had two in the chamber with your name on them. And you get them at The Forum.” Hangman gives the mic back, Moxley is itching to do more than talk, but Moxley says, “The only joke around here, the only joke that I think is funny, is the fact that you think next time is gonna be any different. Your little punk ass doesn’t belong in the ring with me. And next week, I’m gonna make sure this time, you don’t get back up.” Moxley drops the mic, both men have said what they need to say. Will next week’s heated rematch happen in LA?

 

Samoa Joe speaks.

The King of TV wants to tell us “a little tale. The tale of Darby Allin, the little dead boy who could. You see, little Darby Allin, he said he wanted his championship back. The King punished and pummeled him all around the building. The King had bigger dragons to slay. And as he was pummeling the great, mighty Wardlow, the little dead boy decided to come out and get in my business. And now, after you’ve been given your big speech, the big pep talk about how everything’s gonna be alright, and all you need to do is be that vicious, little dead boy will walk up and stand face to face with the King.

“For I am Samoa Joe! I am the ONE TRUE King of Television! You pay the price for insolence in my kingdom.” The AEW TNT & ROH World TV Champion is ready for the little dead boy, but will he be ready for The Relentless One?

 

AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Acclaimed w/ Billy Gunn VS Triple J w/ Sonjay Dutt & Satnam Singh!

We’ve had fights in and out of the ring, and we’ve had a war of words, but now it all comes to a head! Actually, Platinum Max has one more diss track on deck! “Hey, Jeff, your wife better say less! She getting dragged online worse than Skip Bayless! Acclaimed only hits you harder. You gone take a L and blame it on Dixie Carter! Y’all’re antiquated. Y’all messed up like Andrew Tate did! And you can never stop the reign! TNA stands for Total Nonstop Acclaimed!” Bowens says, “SEEEEATTLE~! The Acclaimed have arrived! SCISSOR ME, DADDY ASS!” And they do!

With that, the title belts are raised and the teams sort out. Will Max Caster & Anthony Bowens soon scissor finger in celebration with all of Seattle? Or will Jeff Jarrett & Jay Lethal start their new year off with gold?

Jarrett and Jay are both heated, but Jarrett insists he starts against Bowens. Fans sing “OH~ Scissor Me, Daddy~!” and that gets on Triple J’s nerves. Jarrett and Bowens circle, but then Jarrett SLAPS Caster! The ref keeps Caster back, Bowens goes after Jarrett but Lethal gets in. The ref keeps Lethal back now and Bowens fires off on Jarrett! Bowens gets in Jarrett’s face, promises to knock his ass out, and then CHOPS! Bowens stomps a mudhole into Jarrett, but lets off as the ref counts. Bowens whips corner to corner but Jarrett ELBOWS Bowens back! Lethal tags in, he throws a forearm but Bowens CHOPS!

Lethal and Bowens go back and forth, forearm and CHOP, then Lethal knees low. Lethal whips, Bowens goes up and over then hurdles! Bowens headlocks, Lethal powers out but Bowens hurdles again to mule kick, front kick, run and LEG DROP BULLDOG! Fans fire up and Bowens drags Lethal up. Bowens wrenches Lethal, tags Caster, and they mug Lethal. Caster keeps Lethal from Jarrett, then reels him in for an OLYMPIC SLAM! Caster taunts Jarrett a la Kurt, then tells him to SUCK IT a la Billy Gunn. Caster then grabs Lethal’s leg for an ANKLE LOCK! Lethal scrambles tot he ROPEBREAK, and Caster lets go quickly.

Caster drags Lethal up, tags Bowens, and then Caster scoop SLAMS Lethal into the drop zone! Bowens goes up, Caster holds Lethal’s legs open, for SCISSOR ME TIMBERS! Fans fire up, and The Acclaimed- NO, Jarrett gets in to flip Caster off. But Bowens ROCKS Jarrett, Caster scoop SLAMS him, and Bowens goes up again! SCISSOR ME TIMBERS! Billy gets in, he Fargo struts, and they SCISSOR FINGER~! Fans are thunderous for The Acclaimed as they drag Lethal up. They whip Lethal, Bowens swings but Lethal ducks under! Lethal slides out, to SLAP Billy!! Billy is pissed, he has Lethal, but Lethal scurries away!

The ref reprimands Billy but Billy says that’s BS! Lethal hit Billy first! The ref EJECTS Billy!? Fans boo, you can’t do that to Daddy Ass! But Lethal & Jarrett are laughing up a storm and soaking up the heat as AEW goes picture in picture.

Sonjay Dutt mocks Billy but Billy chases him off. Lethal CLOBBERS Bowens from behind, then bumps him off buckles. Lethal ROCKS Bowens, then drags him up to bump off buckles. Lethal climbs up to rain down fists! Sonjay counts along and Lethal lets off at ten. But Bowens kicks back! Lethal blocks to kick back, and he tags in Jarrett. Triple J mugs Bowens, double whip him, but Bowens reverses to send Lethal away! Lethal bails out and Jarrett gets Bowens with a RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Jarrett flexes then stomps away on Bowens. Jarrett puts Bowens on ropes, CHOKES him, but lets off to run and STRADDLE ATTACK!

Bowens sputters while Jarrett tells Caster to SUCK IT! Jarrett then struts, and tells Caster to SUCK IT again! Bowens staggers up and Jarrett LARIATS him down! Jarrett continues to taunt Caster, then he drags Bowens over. Tag to Lethal, Jarrett whips Bowens to kick low. Lethal runs in to SWINGING NECKBREAKER! But wait, the ref didn’t see Lethal’s tag, it doesn’t count! Lethal is annoyed, but he drags Bowens back over and lets Jarrett take over. Bowens kicks Jarrett from below but that just annoys Jarrett. Jarrett stomps Bowens, fires off in the corner, and Dynamite returns to single picture as fans chant, “F U Jarrett!”

Jarrett tags Lethal, Lethal brings Bowens out as Jarrett eggs the fans on. Lethal snapmares Bowens to clamp on a chinlock. Bowens endures and fans rally up. Bowens fights to his feet but Lethal knees low! Lethal scoops and SLAMS Bowens! Lethal does his Machismo swagger, and then he goes to the corner. Fans boo but Lethal climbs up, HAIL TO THE FLOP as Bowens moves! Bowens and Lethal crawl, hot tag to Jarrett, and Jarrett BLASTS Caster! But Bowens throws haymakers on Jarrett! Fans fire up as the CHOPS fire off! Bowens whips, Jarrett reverses and catches Bowens into a headlock, only for Bowens to counter with a BIG back suplex!

Fans fire up as both men are down again! Bowens crawls over, as does Jarrett, hot tags to Lethal and Caster! Platinum Max rallies on Triple J with big elbows and lariats! Caster whips Lethal, then hits a BIG back drop! Jarrett staggers up into a backhand! And a SUPERKICK! Caster then PLANCHAS onto Lethal! Fans fire up and Caster scissor fingers the front row. Caster puts Lethal in, he goes up top, and he CROSSBODIES! Cover, Jarrett breaks it! Fans boo, Jarrett drags Caster up to SLAP him! Caster TACKLES Jarrett! Caster fires off fast hands and fans fire up again! But Lethal drags Caster up, only for Caster to DROPKICK back!

Tag to Bowens, Bowens reels Lethal in and Caster climbs. But Lethal fights the clinch! Jarrett SHOVES Caster to the floor! Lethal gets free but Bowens goes after Jarrett! Bowens ROCKS Jarrett but Lethal kicks Bowens! Alabama Lift, Jarrett traps the arms, ICONOCLASM BACK DROP! Cover, TWO!! But Lethal gets the legs for a FIGURE FOUR! Bowens endures, the ref misses Satnam sending Caster into steel steps! But the ref hears it, and looks over to see what happened! The ref EJECTS Satnam and Sonjay!! More refs rush out to make Satnam leave, and he flips the main ref off! Lethal and Jarrett can’t believe it!

Lethal & Jarrett wait on Bowens to get up, and Bowens staggers. Lethal dodges the haymaker, handsprings, but into Bowens’ ROLLING ELBOW! But Jarrett reels Bowens in! THE STROKE!! Lethal covers, and Sonjay swats Bowens’ foot of the ropes!! TRIPLE J WIN!!!

Winners: Jay Lethal & Jeff Jarrett, by pinfall (NEW AEW World Tag Team Championships)

Seattle can’t believe it! But wait! AUBREY saw everything! She tells the ref and ring announcer that Sonjay screwed Bowens! Jarrett & Lethal tell them no, their win stands! But the announcement is made: the officials have decided that this match MUST CONTINUE!! Triple J is freaking out, so they go after Bowens at the ropes! They stomp away, double whip, but Bowens crisscrosses them into each other! Caster is back, he ROCKS Jarrett and Bowens SUPERKICKS him down! But Lethal rolls Bowens up! With feet on the ropes! But Caster pushes those off now! Bowens uses that to roll Lethal up! THE ACCLAIMED WIN!!

Winners: The Acclaimed, by pinfall (still AEW World Tag Team Champions)

Justice has been served! Triple J couldn’t cheat Caster & Bowens twice, and they got what they deserved! Billy returns to celebrate, will nothing stop the #ForeverReign?

 

Tony Schiavone has a sit-down interview with Britt Baker & Jamie Hayter.

Schiavone welcomes The Doctor and the AEW Women’s World Champion. “Everyone is talking about next week and the tag match. Who is gonna be Saraya’s partner? That has been the big question.” Hayter says it has been. Britt thinks the bigger question should be, “Will Saraya ever get it?” Since she first showed up in AEW, Saraya has not gotten what AEW is. Saraya does not understand what AEW means to the wrestlers, the fans, and their family. Hayter says Saraya doesn’t understand what they mean to AEW, and what AEW truly means to them. Britt and Hayter are AEW originals! Saraya will never get that.

Britt says it is safe to say that she and Hayter, though different, had very similar starts. They had rather rocky starts to their careers. It took them a bit to figure out what they were doing, and they worked their way up to the top of this division. Now, Hayter is the champion! And what Britt doesn’t know if Saraya realizes, but last week, Saraya had two of the best female wrestlers in the world right next to her. So no matter who she’s looking for out there, Shida & Storm, like ’em or not, which Britt & Hayter don’t, but those two are fantastic pro-wrestlers. How has Saraya not made a decision yet?

Schiavone says maybe Saraya is just making Britt & Hayter think about it. Well, Saraya did come in and make an impact. Maybe it was Saraya’s house. But Hayter is the champ, Britt is the boss, the Killer & Pillar. Yours Truly, Dr. Britt Baker, DMD. Is Saraya playing this one close to the vest? Or does she really not know what to do about the tag match in the Forum?

 

“Jungle Boy” Jack Perry speaks.

“After the last year that I had, I wasn’t sure that there was anyone left I could count on. But maybe I spoke too soon. Now, Big Bill, Lee Moriarty, Stokely, you guys have made it very clear that you are looking for some sort of a problem. Well how about next week, in my hometown of Los Angeles, California, for one night only… Hook and I take care of business.” The Cold-Hearted, Handsome Devil walks into frame, will he and JB make The Firm wish they’d picked on anyone else?

 

Bryan Danielson VS Tony Nese w/ Mark Sterling & Josh Woods!

The American Dragon wants after the AEW World Champion, Maxwell Jacob Friedman, but Smart Mark came to the defense. The Premier Athlete wants after the hometown hero, but will he instead end up an example to MJF?

The bell rings and Bryan circles with Nese. Fans are thunderous for Bryan already and Bryan smiles. Nese is upset, but then Woods swipe at Bryan! Sterling distracts Aubrey and Nese CLOBBERS Bryan! Nese then runs with Bryan to HOTSHOT BULLDOG! And PREMIER TRIANGLE! But Bryan dodges and gets to the corner! Nese still runs in to PREMIER KNEE! Cover, TWO!! Bryan survives Nese’s best shot and Nese can’t believe it! Nese rains down fists on Bryan while fans boo. Nese drags Bryan up as fans rally for Bryan. Nese CHOPS, but Bryan shakes his head. Bryan puts Nese in the corner to CHOP and KICK and CHOP again!

Bryan fires off on Nese, KICK after KICK after KICK! Bryan whips, Nese reverses, but Bryan goes up and over! Things keep moving, Bryan dodges to CLOBBER Nese! Nese flounders, fans are thunderous again and Bryan is all fired up! Bryan waits on Nese to sit up, and then he KICKS Nese! And KICKS! And KICKS! “YES! YES! YES!” Sterling freaks out but Bryan powers up, to BUZZ- NO, Nese blocks! Nese slips around, rolls Bryan up, deadlifts and BUCKLE BOMBS! Bryan sits down, Nese pulls down the kneepad! Nese runs side to side, but Bryan dodges! Knee hits buckle! Bryan runs in to BUSAIKU KNEE!! But Bryan doesn’t cover, he promises to kick Nese’s head in!!

Bryan gets the arms, for DRAGON STOMPS! “YES! YES! YES!” Bryan then turns Nese over, into the REGAL STRETCH!! Nese is OUT, Bryan wins!!

Winner: Bryan Danielson, by submission

Bryan smirks as he lets off, and Seattle is thunderous for the conquering hero! Bryan gets a mic now to say, “It is great to be home! And y’know what? I’m feeling a little froggy. I’m feeling a little froggy, and I’m ready for another fight! MJF! Get your ass out here!” Fans fire up for that, and here comes MJF! The AEW World Champion has them cut his music while fans boo. MJF throws his gum aside to say, “Brain Damaged Bryan. Lemme get this straight: you want me to come into that ring and wrestle you, right?” Fans chant “YES! YES! YES!” MJF says how about no?

Unlike Bryan, MJF doesn’t get his rocks off by putting his body on the line to entertain the shmucks! He doesn’t care about them at all! But Bryan is a mark! MJF is aware he has a big fat check in the mail, whether he wrestles or not. That’s what makes MJF a special attraction. But MJF can tell that the people love Bryan, they chant his name every week, over and over again. And to his credit, Bryan is pretty solid. But MJF was in the back listening as Bryan was talking, and with all due respect, “if Lance Storm and Dean Malenko were somehow able to procreate and have a child, it would still be more charismatic than you.”

Fans boo but MJF says, “Just cuz you look like a goat, it don’t make you the Greatest Of All Time. But granted, I mean, you really look like a goat. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t be shocked if back in 1981 in rural Aberdeen, Washington, Mama Danielson, much like all the mothers here in Washington, couldn’t find a human suitor!” Bryan says he likes that MJF is making jokes. Because in the back, all the boys talk about MJF’s mother and how many human suitors she’s had. MJF is speechless after that one! Bryan says that in fact, it was probably enough suitors that they could fill this whole arena! Hell, maybe even some are here right now!

Bryan points out some guys, and MJF shouts, “THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!” Bryan then asks Seattle, “Who here has been Max’s mother’s human suitor?” MJF tells them all to shut their mouths! Bryan thinks he’s a big deal, huh?! He’s delusional! He buys his own hype if he thinks he’s the best wrestler in the world! But that’s impossible, because MJF is, and #TripleB proves it! Fans boo but MJF asks, “I’m just curious, Bryan, who died and named you the king of wrestling, huh? Journalists who’ve never stepped in the ring, let alone out of their mother’s basements? Or even worse, these marks who don’t have one athletic one in their parasitic bodies!”

MJF says that unlike Bryan, MJF is touted as being the best by people who’ve actually been in the business. Top names! Fans call MJF names, but MJF says those were guys that put him over, like Disco Inferno! Eric Bischoff! “And the smartest man of them all, and my number one fan, Jim Cornett!” Bryan cuts MJF off, and he agrees with the people in Seattle: just shut up. Bryan says we’ve heard the spiel a million times, and it’s okay. Bryan did a mom joke, he’s okay with those. But Bryan hates MJF, and it is time to fight. MJF panics as Bryan steps out of the ring! “Slow your roll, Dragon!” MJF scurries over to commentary! MJF tells Taz that Bryan has anger issues.

MJF wants one second, but the fans boo. Bryan may not realize this, but MJF came here as a favor to him. MJF is trying to smarten him up! This ain’t play wrestling, this is pro-wrestling. “In this company, wins and losses matter. And if you want a shot at the king and the grandest prize of ’em all, you gotta become #1 contender.” Fans tell MJF to STFU, but he says no. MJF says he had a feeling Bryan would stick his nose in MJF’s business, so MJF talked to “that nerd,” Tony Khan. And Tony told MJF that if Bryan were to wrestle every week on Dynamite, and win, from now until February 8th, Bryan will be #1 contender.

And Bryan, MJF is normally known for making Bryan jump through hoops. But he’ll make an exception here. If Bryan can pull off that win streak, from now until February 8th, Bryan gets his match for Triple B at Revolution on March 5th, no questions asked! So what does B-Ry say? Fans say “YES!” but Bryan says no!? MJF does this all the time, so Bryan is just gonna wrestle when he wants, still become #1 contender, and still beat MJF for the title. NO!! That’s not how this works! Tony doesn’t run this company, the EVPs don’t run this company, MJF does!!

If Bryan doesn’t become #1 contender the way MJF wants him to, Sterling will filibuster this! Bryan will be stuck as #1 contender until MJF’s contract is up! Bryan will NEVER wrestle MJF for the belt! It’s MJF’s way or it’s no way! GOT IT!? Fans boo but Bryan says, “Dude, Mark Sterling’s a horrible lawyer. You think he’s gonna make that happen? But here, I’ll humor you a little bit. I’ll agree to your cute little stipulation, if you agree to let me make the stipulation for our match at Revolution.” Fans like Bryan turning the tables, but MJF says, “Seriously? Okay. First of all, watch your mouth, you fat skank!” Wow, who was that MJF got mad at?

MJF wants to get this right. Bryan wants a stipulation so that MJF can just cheat in front of the ref? Bryan’s really brilliant, y’know? But go ahead, Bryan, pick whatever you’d like. Bryan says MJF doesn’t get it. In this stipulation, MJF won’t be able to do anything that gets him disqualified, and it’s really more… Well, MJF calls himself the Best Professional Wrestler? Well, this is the real test of that! Bryan’s challenge is for a ONE HOUR IRONMAN MATCH! Fans love the sound of that, but MJF is stunned! Bryan says, “What? Are you scared, Maxi Pad?” Fans chant, “MAXI PAD! MAXI PAD!” but MJF is pissed! MJF ACCEPTS!!

But no, shut up! MJF isn’t worried! Bryan won’t even make it past week one! Because all Bryan does is choke! Bryan hasn’t won a big match opportunity since he’s gotten here! Bryan is a choke artist! Bryan says, “Well, we’re gonna see. Cuz I’m gonna tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna run through every single opponent that you put in front of me, from now until February 8th. And then when we get into that One Hour Ironman Match at Revolution, here’s what I didn’t tell you before. I am going to expose you. I am going to expose that you don’t have the cardio. That you haven’t put in the work. That you don’t have the footwork.

“That everything you do, the reason you don’t wrestle isn’t just because you don’t care about wrestling, it’s because you’re not good enough to come out here every! Single! Week! And after I expose you, in front of all of these people, I’m gonna put the nail in the coffin, and I’m gonna kick your damn head in.” Bryan gets the last word, will he prove that he’s better than MJF, and MJF knows it?

 

AEW looks closer at Orange Cassidy VS Kip Sabian.

Set for Battle of the Belts 5 this Friday night after Rampage, the Freshly Squeezed All-Atlantic Champion finally settles the score with Mr. Superbad! Sabian screwed over Trent Beretta to mess with Best Friends, but now he’ll have to put up or shut up! Will Sabian find that you don’t get under Orange Cassidy’s skin and get away with it?

 

Swerve Strickland w/ Mogul Affiliates VS AR Fox!

Ever since throwing Keith Lee away, there have been no limits to how low Swerve will go to stay on top. Will he cheat The People’s Choice the same way he did Wheeler Yuta on Rampage? Or will the answer to “Whose House?” be “Fox’s house?”

The bell rings and fans rally as Fox and Swerve circle. Fans chant “WHOSE HOUSE?” “SWERVE’S HOUSE!” as Fox avoids Swerve rushing in. They feel out a grapple, then they both forearm! They both stagger, Swerve runs in but Fox dumps him to the apron. Fox stops the slingshot to ROCK Swerve, then he rolls and runs! Swerve backflips away but Fox just flips to the apron! Fox then jumps over as Swerve rushes back in! Swerve knees low, whips Fox, but Fox tiger feints! Swerve ducks, slide sin, Fox pursues, somersault but Swerve blocks the cutter! Swerve fireman’s carries, but Fox fights free to the apron!

Fox pushes Swerve away but Swerve runs in! Fox flips but Swerve handsprings out of the ring! Fans fire up as the former friends stare down! But Parker and the still anonymous tattooed man back Swerve up. The ref counts, Swerve has his affiliates back down, and Swerve swings on Fox! Fox BOOTS Swerve first, goes up to the apron, and he runs to the corner to MOONSAULT! Direct hit and Swerve is down! Fox puts Swerve in the ring at 5 of 10, then aims. Swerve storms over but Fox trips Swerve up! Fox slingshots to facelock and roll Swerve, into a deadlift BRAINBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Swerve flounders to a corner but fans rally for Fox.

Fox goes corner to corner, and he hits an A-LIST LARIAT! Swerve flounders while Fox skins the cat. But Swerve distracts the ref so tattooed man can CLOBBER Fox! Fans boo, but Swerve goes to the apron to FLYING BOOT Fox down! Fans fire up and AEW goes picture in picture.

Swerve smiles then poses, then goes back for Fox. Swerve ROCKS Fox with haymakers, then brings him up to whip him hard into railing! Swerve then shoves Fox into the ring, and he clamps on an armlock! Fox endures, Swerve shifts his grip to a cover, ONE!! Swerve argues that but one is one. Fox goes to the corner, Swerve walks over and ROCKS Fox with a haymaker! Swerve stands Fox up, snapmares him, and then goes up the corner. FALLING UPPERCUT! Fox writhes but Swerve swaggers and dances. Cover, TWO! Swerve is annoyed and he stomps Fox down! Fox throws body shots but Swerve UPPERCUTS him!

Swerve HEADBUTTS Fox, clinches, and he cranks on the neck wrench. Fox endures, fights up, but Swerve wrangles him back down. Fox endures the cravat as Swerve keeps on the pressure. Fox fights up to his feet, arm-drags free, but Swerve CLOBBERS him! Dynamite returns to single picture and he drags Fox around for SLAPS to the back! Fox backs Swerve into the corner, but Swerve BOOTS him away! But Fox BOOTS back! Swerve mule kicks, front kicks, but Fox ENZIGURIS! Swerve BOOTS, but Fox goes Matrix under the discus lariat! ENZIGURI again! Swerve falls and fans fire up! Fox grits his teeth and runs in at the corner, BIG back elbow!

Fox then snapmare rolls, but Swerve GERMAN SUPLEXES! And then SOMERSAULT COMPLETE SHOTS! Cover, TWO!! Swerve snarls, he kicks at Fox, then drags him up. Swerve hoists Fox to the top rope backwards, then climbs up behind him. Fox throws elbows to send Swerve away, and then Fox adjusts. But Swerve hits the ropes to trip Fox, but Fox just split legs through it! Roll up and BASEMENT CUTTER! Fox runs in, to BOOT Swerve to a corner! Fox puts Swerve up top, ICONOCLASM! But Fox holds onto the arms to drag Swerve back up into a CUTTER! And then Fox goes up and up and 450 SPLASHES!! cover, TWO!!

Swerve survives and shocks Fox! Fans fire up, “This is Awesome!” Swerve goes to the apron, Fox goes out after him and fireman’s carries. Swerve fights with elbows, ends up on the corner, but Fox ROCKS him! Fox goes around the other side, climbs up behind Swerve, but the tattooed man has a chain! The ref tells him to back off, but Parker creeps up to sneak Swerve some metal! Swerve JAMS Fox in the face!! Swerve then fireman’s carries Fox, for a SUPER DEATH VALLEY DRIVER to the apron!!! Fans lose their minds, Swerve puts Fox in the ring! KILLSHOT STOMPS!! Cover, Swerve wins!

Winner: Swerve Strickland, by pinfall

Give the assist to the affiliates, but Swerve is merciless. Will nothing stop Swerve from taking over AEW?

 

Renee Paquette has a sit-down interview with Saraya, Toni Storm & Hikaru Shida.

Renee is with the Revolution, the Lightning and the Full Metal Warrior, and thanks them all for taking this time to talk with her. Powerful words thrown at them from Britt & Hayter, but what is their reaction? Saraya says that’s typical Britt, isn’t it? She tries to gatekeep this division and hold it back while Saraya and the others want to advance it. Storm says “God forbid it should be about anyone but them.” And worse yet, Storm got screwed out of her championship and her face fractured because of them. That’s not cool.

Renee says there has been a ton of speculation about just who exactly is Saraya bringing with her to the Forum. Does she care to make an announcement? Saraya says she is excited. This has been trending every single week, which is exciting, and Saraya says since coming here, she has learned so much. AEW has the best female roster in the world, the best matches in the world, and talking about Toni Storm VS Jamie Hayter at Full Gear to Hikaru Shida VS Jamie Hayter at Holiday Bash. They all absolutely killed it! Saraya knows she is sitting between the best wrestlers in the world. That means… Saraya chooses Toni!

Oh, looks like Shida didn’t know this was coming. Saraya says that ever since seeing Storm at Grand Slam, she just knew she’d have a bond with Storm. And she is really excited, they can talk strategy now. Renee says it is official! Next week at the LA Forum, Britt & Hayter VS Saraya & Storm! But will Shida cool off about being seemingly snubbed? Or will she want to have a talk with Saraya later on?

 

Austin & Colten Gunn are here!

Seattle boos the Ass Boys, but they’re here in rather serious attire. They cute it up, and they have a memorial for FTR! “FTRIP, May 27, 2020 – December 21, 2022.” The Gunns continue to ringside as somber organ music plays. Fans boo and mock the “ASS BOYS~!” but they stand in the ring with pictures of FTR set up for this mock wake. Austin & Colten get the mics, and Austin takes a breath. “Thank you all for coming. We’re here to pay our respects to FTR’s legacy.” Colten says he has something prepared. He isn’t sure he can get through this but he’ll try.

“FTR had a hell of a year. They traveled the world. They worked at a bunch of promotions. They even had the AAA, ROH and IWGP championships. Not AEW’s, though. They called themselves 7 Star FTR, but they were 10 stars in our hearts.” Austin says he has something prepared, as well. “But as 2022 was coming to an end, their decrepit, weak, old dad bods couldn’t carry the load anymore. When the Gunns beat FTR clean in the middle of the ring, they lost the ROH belts, the AAA belts, the IWGP belts, and even started a podcast no one listens to. A legacy that we watched them build for ten years, the Gunns destroyed in ten minutes.

“Now please, stand up and join us as we all remember and honor the legacy of FTR in a moment of silence.” Fans boo as the Gunns take a deep breath and stay quiet. But wait! FTR is here?! They can’t be, they were just in Japan for WrestleKingdom 17! The Gunns laugh at them punking everyone in Seattle! Austin says, “Look! FTR can wrestle for any promotion they want to, and I mean any promotion, but they will never work in AEW again!!” Colten says that’s because they are the “new living legends! We are the new best tag team in the world! Top GUNNS, out!”

Austin tells Seattle to suck it, and then he and Colten smack the pictures over. FTR is still going to return to AEW, will the Ass Boys go running when they do?

 

Jade Cargill & Red Velvet w/ Leila Grey VS Kiera Hogan & Skye Blue!

While the TBS Champion is still undefeated, she isn’t happy about how, out of all the flavors, Red Velvet chooses to be salty. And she’s also not happy about Velvet didn’t let her do what she wanted to Kiera just last week on Rampage. Will The Baddies still be united here tonight? Or will Velvet show her true colors?

The teams sort out and Velvet starts against Skye. They circle, tie up, and go around. Skye headlocks, but Velvet stomps a foot and powers out. Velvet drops but Skye avoids the dropkick! Skye flips Velvet over but Velvet rolls Skye to a cover, ONE and Skye has it now! TWO, and Velvet swings, but into a waistlock. Velvet switches, Skye runs to ropes and uses that to push Velvet down to a cover, TWO as Velvet goes Matrix! Velvet hits an Oklahoma Roll, TWO! Skye rolls Velvet up, TWO! Skye holds onto Velvet for a sunset, TWO! Velvet sits on Skye, TWO! Skye sunsets, TWO! Velvet sits, TWO! Velvet staggers up, Skye SHINING WIZARDS!

Tag to Kiera, she runs and HIP ATTACKS Velvet on the ropes! Then she YANKS Velvet down, runs and steps up to LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Kiera keeps on Velvet, tags Skye but Velvet throws body shots. Skye kicks but Velvet blocks! Velvet spins Skye but Skye SPIN KICKS! Velvet wobbles, Skye brings her up and around, but Velvet switches. Skye slips through to DDT! Cover, TWO!! Velvet survives, Jade is annoyed, but Velvet clinches. Skye powers Velvet back but into the Baddie corner! Jade tags in and fans fire up as AEW goes picture in picture.

Jade and Skye tie up, Skye kicks but Jade ducks it to pump handle and SLAM! Jade fires up, Skye goes to a corner, and Jade throws forearms. Jade stomps, UPPERCUTS, and ROCKS Skye! Jade whips Skye corner to corner, dribbles and runs in, but Skye avoids the slam dunk! Jade avoids the haymaker to DECK Skye! Jade goes out after Skye, flexes, and then brings Skye up to UPPERCUT her back down! Jade bumps Skye off the apron, Skye staggers around the way, and Kiera coaches Skye up. Jade refreshes the count, UPPERCUTS Skye again, then talks trash. Skye ROCKS Jade! Jade comes back with fire as AEW goes to break!

Dynamite returns and Jade trophy lifts Skye! Fans fire up, Skye slips away, and Kiera tags in! Kiera leaps but into Jade’s arms! Swinging POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO!! Kiera survives “The Eye of the Storm,” and Velvet still looks salty. Jade drags Kiera up into chicken wings, but then she decides to give Velvet a second chance. Velvet didn’t let Jade slap Kiera, but now Velvet can do it herself. Jade pats Velvet on the head for the tag, and Velvet puts some stank on it, only to clinch Kiera instead of slap her! Jade is still upset Velvet isn’t doing what she wants, but now the ref tells Jade to exit. Velvet whips, Kiera reverses and CLOBBERS her!

Kiera CLOBBERS Velvet again, runs corner to corner and SPLASHES! She trips Velvet, runs Around the World, and SLIDING BOOTS! Cover, TWO! Kiera hurries to bring Velvet up but Velvet blocks the suplex. Velvet throws body shots but Kiera snap suplexes her away! Jade is upset, she tags in. She SUPERKICKS Kiera then BOOTS Skye! Fans fire up and Jade soaks it all up. Jade drags Kiera up, choke grips, and CHOKE SLAMS Kiera! Jade tells Velvet to finish this, but then Velvet drops off the apron!? Keira rolls Jade, TWO!! Jade BOOTS Kiera down! Cover, Jade still wins!

Winners: Jade Cargill & Red Velvet, by pinfall

The Baddies still win, that makes Jade 47-0. But this surely must be the last time Jade and Velvet are on the same side. Will Velvet regret angering #ThatBitch?

 

BREAKING NEWS for Battle of the Belts 5!

After the controversy that almost won them the tag titles, Team Triple J gets a second shot! And this time, it will be NO HOLDS BARRED!

Backstage interview with Team Triple J.

Lethal & Jarrett are riled up as Renee tries to get their reactions. This Friday, No Holds Barred- DAMN RIGHT it’s gonna be No Holds Barred! That was the biggest bunch of crap out there tonight! That was carny BS! It took 15 refs to beat them! But nothing stops them this Friday! Jarrett guarantees NEW AEW World Tag Team Champions! Sonjay even breaks his pencil over this! But will Triple J break The Acclaimed and take those titles?

MORE news for Battle of the Belts!

Though Skye didn’t win in tonight’s tag match, she didn’t take the pin, and now she gets her turn at the TBS Championship! Will Skye be able to end the undefeated streak of Jade Cargill? Or will she just end up number 48?

 

AEW TNT Championship: Samoa Joe VS Darby Allin!

The King of Television still has both this title and the ROH World Television Championship, but the Relentless hometown hero looks to change that. Darby has another new video, showing off the skate park he grew up on. He also has a highlight reel of his TNT title reign, from defeating the American Nightmare to defeating Ricky Starks, Christian Cage, and JD Drake, until losing the title. Darby makes his entrance, will he have a new chapter in that highlight reel? Or will the King of TV cancel Darby’s comeback season?

As Darby makes his way to ringside, he hugs Nick Wayne, son of Darby’s trainer, the late, great Buddy Wayne. Samoa Joe makes his entrance, and he assaults Nick Wayne!! Fans boo, Darby DIVES to take Joe out! Darby KICKS Joe, CLUBS him, grabs his skateboard, and SMACKS him!! This isn’t a match so Darby JAMS Joe with the board! And SMACKS him again! They go up the ramp, around the way, and Darby JAMS Joe again! Darby hops up to the ramp, to then jump and OLLIE SMASH Joe! Fans are thunderous as Darby goes back to the stage, and he brings out a LADDER! Fans fire up as Darby sets the ladder up and climbs it!

Fans are thunderous but the refs want this in the ring! Darby aims from the very top, and he SUPER SWANTONS onto Joe!! Both men are down on the ramp and fans are losing their minds! Darby clutches his knee from the landing, but he hobbles his way after Joe as Joe crawls to ringside. Darby headlocks and fishhooks Joe! Fans rally, Darby brings Joe around and puts him in the ring. The bell rings and Darby SHOTGUNS Joe into the corner! Joe tumbles out, staggers around, but Darby goes to the apron. Darby hurries after Joe, kicks him, then leaps, but Joe catches him! URENAGE onto the steel steps!!

Darby writhes, the ref checks in, and Seattle loses their minds all over again as AEW goes picture in picture! Joe goes into the ring to let Darby writhe, and Joe soaks up the heat from Seattle. The ring count starts, but Darby crawls his way back over at 3 of 10. Darby manages to drag himself up at 5, but Joe is after him! Joe runs Darby along the apron to POST him! Darby goes flying off to the railing! Joe smirks while the ref checks Darby again. Joe mocks the hometown hero while the ring count starts again. Joe counts along to mock Darby, but Darby stirs at 4 of 10. There are fans worried for Darby as he crawls over.

The count hits “OCHO!” but Darby gets in! Joe is shocked, but then Darby fops back out for a breather. Joe cuts that short by going out after Darby. Joe stands Darby up to CHOP him back down! Joe then stands Darby up, to CHOP him back down again! Joe talks trash to the fans in the front row, then storms after Darby. They get in the ring, but Darby bails out the other end. Joe watches Darby flounder and stagger around the outside. Darby manages to stand, but he keeps his distance to taunt Joe. Joe rushes out, Darby slides in, but Joe slides back in, only for Darby to fire off hands! Darby has Joe in the corner and fans fire up, but Joe HEADBUTTS Darby down!

Joe paces, stomps Darby, and Dynamite returns to single picture. Joe sits Darby up, to PENALTY KICK! Fans rally for Darby but Joe sits Darby up to CHOP him on his back! And PENALTY KICK again! Joe then runs to drop an elbow but misses! Darby hurries to get a SLEEPER! Joe stands, Darby fishhooks the nose, but Joe BACKPACK SENTONS! Joe has a leg and pulls on a toehold! But Darby CLAWS Joe’s eyes! The ref counts, Darby lets off but Joe lets go, too. Darby fires off fast strikes, but Joe sweeps the legs! No mercy in this dojo! Fans rally as hard as they can for Darby, but Joe smirks as he looms over Darby.

Joe drags Darby up, but Darby throws body shots! Darby runs, but Joe picks him up and ties up the legs! KNEE BREAKER!! Darby clutches his legs but Joe smirks again. Fans still rally behind Darby, but the concern is growing. Joe hears the fans chant, so he PENALTY KICKS Darby down! And then SENTONS the legs! Darby clutches his knees, Joe grins as he covers, TWO!! Darby refuses to give up and fans fire up for him. Joe drags Darby around by a leg, and then hooks on a HALF CRAB! Joe sits on it but Darby refuses to quit! Darby claws his way forward, and he gets the ROPEBREAK! Fans cheer and Joe lets off in frustration.

Joe looms over Darby as the fans are thunderous for their hometown hero. Joe drags Darby up, brings him around and bumps him off buckles. Joe hoists Darby up top, tucks him in, and carries Darby, but Darby sunset flips! Joe stays up, drags Darby up, but Darby ducks the haymaker to waistlock! Darby pushes Joe to the corner but Joe holds onto the top buckle to resist the O’Conner! The buckle pad gives way, the ref almost gets knocked over, but Darby finishes the O’Conner Roll! TWO, and into the COQUINA CLUTCH!! Darby flails, pushes and rolls back to a cover, TWO!! Darby goes to the corner, Joe runs in, but gets an ELBOW!

Darby runs, hops on, THROWBACK- NO! Joe turns stunner into SLEEPER! Darby is fading already!! Fans are thunderous, and Darby gets a second wind!! Darby has a wild look in his eyes, and he beats his chest a la Sting! Darby RAMS Joe into the bare buckle!! CODE RED!!! Darby goes up top, for the COFFIN DROP to Joe’s back! Fans are electric as Darby goes up top again! COFFIN DROP to the front!! Cover, DARBY WINS!!

Winner: Darby Allin, by pinfall (NEW AEW TNT Champion)

Seattle explodes over the hometown hero’s victory! Darby is now a TWO-TIME TNT Champion! The confetti flies and even STIIIIING is here! The Icon joins his young ward in the ring to celebrate! The new year gives us a new champion, is this new era going to be even more relentless than before?


My Thoughts:

A great episode for AEW to open the new year. Starks VS Jericho was a great opener, and that was a great win for Starks. But of course the Jericho Appreciation Society has to go and beat Ricky down, and then Action Andretti on top of it. This definitely has to give us a tag match of Starks & Andretti VS any combination from the JAS. Honestly, Starks & Andretti should face all the combinations, from Menard & Parker to Sammy & Garcia to Jericho & Hager. Especially in the case of Sammy & Garcia to push their story of dysfunction forward a step. It’ll give us a lot more Action Andretti on TV, and Jericho can settle things with Action and Starks once and for all.

Great promos from Hangman and Moxley, and they didn’t give us an Unsanctioned match for next week, but I guess that was asking too much. I’m pretty sure Hangman will be “cleared” for next week, and then he and Moxley can have an awesome match. If there needs to be another rematch, it can be at Revolution in March after more great build. Good promo from Jungle Boy to give us the tag match I knew we were getting of JB & Hook VS The Firm’s Moriarty & Morrissey, and good video for Cassidy VS Sabian. Those will be really good matches, but I’m pretty sure the Faces win both of those matches.

Great promos from Britt & Hayter with Schiavone, and then Saraya, Storm & Shida with Renee. Oddly enough, there is a good point in Britt’s promo about a former WWE wrestler showing up in AEW and not “getting it,” but Saraya’s counterpoint about gatekeeping was also good. I figured Saraya was going to choose Storm, but Shida played the surprise and hurt feelings well. Saraya clearly sprang this on everyone rather than talking about this behind the scenes, and this will probably come back to bite her in the form of Shida turning Heel. Saraya VS Shida will be a great match, and I would love for that to be at Revolution while Hayter defends the title against someone.

The Baddies VS Kiera & Skye went about how I expected, though of course Jade wins to keep her streak going. Jade will definitely beat Skye at Battle of the Belts to get to 48, and then she can win against another person to get to 49. Jade’s 50th match has to be at Revolution, and it has to be against Velvet. That way, whether Jade wins or loses, it’ll be a full circle moment since Jade and Velvet started as enemies during the empty arena era. I just have a bad feeling that this is when Bow Wow gets involved again so as to distract and cost Jade against Velvet.

The Acclaimed VS Triple J was great stuff, from Caster’s rap digging at Jarrett and then using Kurt Angle’s moves to really dig at Jarrett, to the ejections and the “controversy” that kept Triple J from winning. No Holds Barred on Friday is going to be awesome stuff, I can’t wait to see it. Pretty good promo from the Gunns to mock FTR while FTR was in Japan. FTR is definitely coming back to kick their asses, and that can be the start to a big 2023 for FTR where they fight their way back to tag title contention in AEW. And great match from Swerve VS Fox, I like that commentary mentioned Lucha Underground. But of course as the leader of a Heel faction, Swerve has his minions help him cheat and win.

Great match from Bryan VS Nese, and of course Bryan wins. Very good promo battle from MJF and Bryan, though it could’ve been trimmed down by a little bit. Maybe it was the live fans getting involved and MJF having to adlib off them that stretched it out. I do like the idea that instead of anything particularly over the top, Bryan just has to stay undefeated for the five weeks, so that every match he has is important. At the same time, I totally expect MJF will try to screw Bryan over. But Bryan will surely make it, and that ONE HOUR Ironman Match is going to be awesome stuff.

Joe VS Darby was also awesome stuff, and I am pleasantly surprised that Darby won. AEW loves giving hometown heroes the big moments, and this was a HUGE moment. Now Darby can carry this belt to Revolution while Joe can focus on the ROH World TV title. Maybe Wardlow goes after Joe for the ROH title, but that depends on if Tony Khan wants to build Wardlow up towards the AEW World Championship so he can have a proper blow-off with MJF.

My Score: 8.8/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (5/18/24)

Deonna Purrazzo’s on a Rampage!

Published

on

The Virtuosa is sharpening her edge!

Deonna Purrazzo wants to tear into Thunder Rosa, but she’ll have to settle for Robyn Renegade first! Will The Virtuosa fine tune her style for La Mera Mera?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kyle O’Reilly VS Lee Moriarty w/ Anthony Ogogo; Kyle wins.
  • Rush VS Cody Chhun; Rush wins.
  • Deonna Purrazzo VS Robyn Renegade; Deonna wins.
  • Brian Cage VS Anthony Bowens w/ Billy Gunn; Cage wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Kyle O’Reilly VS Lee Moriarty w/ Anthony Ogogo!

#CombatKyle may have lost out on the TNT Championship, but he isn’t going to stop the comeback over it. Will he build back up towards another title opportunity? Or will #TAIGASTYLE prove he’s the one deserving of those chances?

The bell rings and the two circle. The fans rally, Kyle and Lee tie up, Kyle waistlocks, but Lee wrenches out. Kyle wrenches to waistlock, but Lee sits to switch. Kyle switches, facelocks, wrenches, but Lee rolls and rolls until he rolls free. The fans rally as the two circle again. They knuckle lock, go shoulder to shoulder, but Kyle gets under. Kyle lifts but Lee fights that. Lee lifts but Kyle fights that. Kyle tries again, but Lee trips him! Kyle uses his leg guard, trips Lee, knuckle lock cover! ONE as Lee gets an arm up! Kyle pushes it down, ONE as Lee gets the other arm up. Kyle puts that arm down, TWO as Lee bridges!

The fans cheer this technical exchange, Kyle jumps but Lee catches him! DOUBLE WRISTLOCK! Kyle scrambles around, slips free, ARMBAR! Lee clasps hands, stacks Kyle, TWO! Lee rolls Kyle to get the SLEEPER! Lee also has body scissors! But Kyle pulls on Lee’s leg, and that makes Lee let go of the sleeper! Kyle gets the leg, twists for a toehold, but Lee rolls over. Lee reels Kyle in, headlocks, then cravats. The fans rally, Kyle wrenches free to cravat back. Lee ELBOWS Kyle in the chin! Lee BODY SHOTS, then BODY SHOTS again! Lee runs but Kyle KNEES Lee low! Kyle snapmares, runs, then SLAPS Lee!

The fans fire up but Lee gets up. They get face to face, then go forearm to forearm! Kyle fires off fast strikes and he KICKS the legs out! Kyle wrenches to YANK the arm, then CLUBS it! Kyle wrenches, YANKS the arm again, then wrenches to an ELBOW- NO, Lee shoves Kyle away! Kyle runs up but Lee BUCKLE SHOTS him! Kyle staggers away, the fans are torn, and Lee runs up to KICK the bad leg! Ogogo applauds, Lee fires himself up, and Rampage goes picture in picture.

Lee stomps Kyle down, drags him back up, and top wristlocks. Lee isolates that arm, flexes, and STOMPS the arm! Lee paces around, drags Kyle up, and SNAP HALF HATCHES! Cover, TWO! But Lee still has the arm and he hammerlocks it, to then SNAP LOCK it! Kyle endures, grabs at Lee, but Lee bridges and moves around. Lee traps the one arm, pulls on the other, and then makes it a RECLINER! Kyle endures as Lee leans back! Lee lets off as he loses the hold, but then he stomps the bad arm! Lee soaks up the heat as Rampage returns to single picture. Lee grinds Kyle’s bad arm, but Kyle fights up to throw body shots.

Kyle wrenches, ELBOW- NO, Lee has a SLEEPER now! Kyle rolls but Lee holds on tight! Kyle fights up to back suplex! Lee lands out, but Kyle KICKS! SLAPS! KNEES! KICKS! LEG SWEEP! The fans fire up and Kyle snarls as Lee goes to a corner. Kyle runs up to forearm smash! Kyle wrenches, ELBOW BREAKERS, and hits a BIG back suplex! HEEL HOOK! Lee endures and fights towards ropes! ROPEBREAK! Kyle lets go, Lee stands, and Kyle KICKS the leg out! Kyle runs up but Lee dodges the kick to SOBAT! Kyle goes to a corner, Lee runs in, but Kyle blocks the boot! Kyle shoves Lee down, KNEES him, then reels Lee in.

Lee wrenches out of the suplex, to SNAP the fingers! Lee runs up to BOOT Kyle in the corner! Kyle falls, Lee covers, TWO! Kyle survives but Lee reels him in, BORDER CITY STRETCH!! Kyle endures, powers through to clasp hands, and he deadlifts Lee into a CAPTURE SUPLEX! Lee is dazed and Kyle slowly rises. The fans fire up, Kyle storms up, and KICKS Lee’s arm! Lee KICKS Kyle’s arm in return! Kyle KICKS again, but Lee KICKS again! They KICK and KICK and KICK! The fans are behind Kyle, both men block kicks, so they start throwing palm strikes! The fans are thunderous! Both men let the other go, but then they DOUBLE ROUNDHOUSE!

The fans are thunderous as Kyle and Lee are both down! A standing count starts, both men slowly rise, and they stagger into each other. Lee gets Kyle first, suplex and- NO, Kyle knees free! GUILLOTINE! Lee wrenches free to RAM shoulders! Lee wrenches, to ELBOW- NO, Kyle wrenches to ELBOW BREAKER! Hammerlock, GUILLOTINE HOVERBOARD COMBO!!! Lee endures, and he uses his free arm to pry free! For HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT! Kyle drops into a TRIANGLE HOLD!! Lee is fading fast, but he deadlifts Kyle with the one arm! Only to go out! Kyle is free to PENALTY KICK!! Kyle gets Lee up, to ORANGE CRUSH into the ARMBAR! Lee taps, Kyle wins!!

Winner: Kyle O’Reilly, by submission

Shane Taylor Promotion takes another loss on the night, but it was a hell of a fight against Kyle O’Reilly! But Kyle is going to face Malakai Black this Wednesday, will Dynamite be The End of Kyle’s comeback?

 

Backstage interview with The Acclaimed.

Lexy Nair is with Max Caster, Anthony Bowens & Billy Gunn. First off, congrats on the recent success of the newest video. Thank you, Lexy. And Bowens is facing Brian Cage in tonight’s main event, how- Daddy Ass has us stop there. Let’s talk about everyone going crazy, running wild. The Embassy turning on Swerve, The Elite abusing their authority. Billy isn’t sure if Lexy has watched older wrestling, but Billy has a thing about authority. So if they wanna get wild, if they wanna go nuts, that is right up their aisle!

Caster says that’s right! He also thanks Lexi for saying those nice things about his song. But that song was about him and Bowens going back to the Tag Division. If you read the lyrics, which are great lyrics, but none of those team decided to wrestle The Acclaimed. Perhaps they’re a little too afraid to wrestle the best team alive. So they took the first match they could find, and that turned out to be Bowens VS Brian Cage 1v1. Sure, Brian is The Machine, but there are a lot of machines that are now antiquated, and we know Brian doesn’t have AI in his brain. In fact, he can’t update his software! It’s about time Bowens takes Brian to the junkyard!

Bowens says that’s right! Platinum Max & Daddy Ass said it themselves, there is a lot of chaos and madness going on in AEW! Bowens tells Brian and his cronies that they decided to side with The Elite, well you’re looking at the foundation of AEW! The best tag team alive, the best homegrown stars, The Acclaimed! That train is gonna roll right through Brian tonight, courtesy of the Scissor King! Because EVERYONE loves The Acclaimed! Say it again, EVERYONE loves The Acclaimed!! The Five Tool Player is fired up, but will he need all those tools to dismantle The Machine?

 

Rush VS Cody Chhun!

El Toro Blanco is back again, and this time he is looking to reach the top of AEW. Will he stampede through everyone put in his path until he is adored with AEW gold?

The bell rings, the fans rally up with “FOUR C! FOUR C!” Chhun runs up but Rush dodges! Chhun hits buckles, then Rush CLOBBERS him! Chhun sits in the corner checking his jaw, but Rush goes to the far side. “If you mess with the bull…” You get BULL’S HORNS!! Rush drags Chhun to a cover, Rush wins!

Winner: Rush, by pinfall

Rush stands tall, but he doesn’t even care to celebrate, because this was more an inevitability than a victory to him. But then he sees Chhun stirring, and Rush drags him out of the ring! Rush CHOPS Chhun right down! Then he whips Chhun hard into barriers! The ref reprimands but Rush THROWS Chhun around again! Rush fires down fists, the fans boo as Rush DECKS Chhun! Rush won’t stop, he finds his favorite bright green cord! Rush LASHES Chhun, even as more refs rush out here! Rush CHOKES Chhun with the cord!! The refs all shout for him to stop, and Rush does. But he wants everyone to remember: Nothing happens unless HE says so!!

Rush storms off, spits on Chhun, and then grabs a chair! The refs warn him, so Rush simply stands on the chair to soak up the heat. Will nothing and no one stop Rush from rampaging his way to the top?

 

Lexy Nair is outside the trainer’s room.

She notes that to close Collision, Lance Archer & The Righteous viciously attacked FTR after the match. Bryan Danielson walks out, Lexy asks for a medical update. Well, The Elite put a bounty on Team AEW’s heads, and it seems to have worked. FTR won’t make it to Dynamite next Wednesday. But the Elite also failed, because here’s the thing. The Elite wants to change the world? They don’t even show up on Saturdays! And the failure is that Bryan is still here! So this Wednesday, Bryan will be on Dynamite. The Elite can take whatever shot they want, but they better get it done the first time. Otherwise, they won’t like the consequences.

Bryan heads out, but are The EVPs going to make sure no one makes it to Double or Nothing to oppose them?

 

Deonna Purrazzo VS Robyn Renegade!

The Virtuosa is still seething over her many run-ins with Thunder Rosa, but it seems their rematch isn’t destined to happen just yet. Will Deonna one-up La Mera Mera by beating Robyn worse than Rosa did?

The bell rings, the two circle, and they knuckle lock. Deonna spins to wrangle Robyn, but Robyn rolls back. Robyn wrenches, wristlocks, but Deonna rolls, rolls and gets free. The fans cheer, Deonna smirks, but Robyn runs up. Robyn waistlocks, Deonna switches, but Robyn switches back. Deonna pries free to switch again, then she trips Robyn up. Deonna runs, Robyn stays low, then Robyn hits a rolling fireman’s carry takeover! Robyn runs up but Deonna ducks the kick to roll her up! TWO, and Robyn staggers up into an arm-drag! Deonna has the armlock, the fans cheer, but Robyn endures.

Robyn fights up, Deonna hits another takeover, and she traps the arm. Deonna makes it a cover, ONE as Robyn gets the shoulder up. Deonna knuckle locks, wrenches, then clamps onto the arm. Robyn fights up to whip free, then runs to sunset flip! Deonna stays up, then slaps the arms away to clamp on an ARMBAR! Robyn fights around, flails, and has the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Deonna lets go at 4, and Rampage goes picture in picture.

Deonna stalks Robyn, brings her around and whips, but Robyn holds ropes. Deonna ROCKS Robyn, Robyn still holds ropes! Deonna ROCKS Robyn again, whips, but Robyn reverses. Robyn ducks the forearm, and the backhand, then clinches for a HALF NELNSON FACEBUSTER! Robyn fires up, she sits Deonna up, and runs to SHOTGUN her down! Cover, TWO! Robyn is frustrated, but she drags Deonna back up and bumps her off buckles. Robyn CHOPS Deonna, smirks, and winds up to CHOP again! Robyn says one more time, then puts some stank on it. But Deonna dodges to CHOP back! Deonna whips corner to corner, but Robyn reverses.

Robyn runs in, but Deonna puts her on the apron! Robyn ROCKS Deonna first, steps in, but Deonna ARM CODE BREAKERS! Robyn writhes, Deonna storms over, and Deonna drags Robyn up. Deonna knuckle locks, wrenches, then top wristlocks to wrangle Robyn. Deonna traps the arm for a SNAP LOCK! Cover, TWO! Robyn clutches the arm but Deonna is on her again. Deonna pulls on the bad arm, then top wristlocks. Robyn endures as Deonna thrashes the arm, and Rampage goes to break.

Rampage returns and Deonna wrenches Robyn’s arm. Robyn ROCKS Deonna, but Deonna wrenches again. Robyn fires off a flurry of forearms and the fans fire up! Deonna shoves Robyn but Robyn LARIATS on return! The fans fire up with Robyn, then she wrenches Deonna to reel her in, put her in ropes, and KNEE her! Robyn runs to then STOMP Deonna down! Cover, TWO!! Deonna survives and Robyn is frustrated. The fans rally, Robyn drags Deonna up, then fireman’s carries. Deonna slips free, shoves, and BOOTS Robyn down! Deonna slashes her throat and vows to end this! The fans fire up as Deonna drags Robyn up.

Deonna Gotch hooks, but Robyn slips free! Robyn pump handles, but Deonna arm-drags free! Deonna BOOTS the lariat, ARMBAR DDT! FUJIWARA!! Robyn taps, Deonna wins!

Winner: Deonna Purrazzo, by submission

Deonna didn’t even need Venus De Milo, but then she puts that on Robyn anyway!! The ref reprimands, the fans boo, but Deonna makes Robyn suffer in Rosa’s place! But wait, here comes Thunder Rosa!! La Mera Mera rushes the ring, but Deonna runs away! So when does the part about regretting to mess with a Jersey girl come in? Rosa checks Robyn, and Deonna slithers back in! Deonna CLOBBERS Rosa from behind! Oh so that’s the part about Jersey? Rosa gets up, though, and Deonna retreats again. Rosa runs Deonna down and grabs her by the hair! Rosa drags Deonna back to the ring to RAM her into the apron!

The fans fire up as Rosa tells Deonna to fight her now! Rosa puts Deonna in, Deonna rolls out of the ring and runs into the crowd! The fans boo as Deonna flees into the night. When and where will Deonna have to give Rosa this fight?

 

Scorpio Sky speaks.

“I have done things people dream about. I’ve made money, faced legends, won championship after championship after championship. And you might not wanna hear this, but that was easy. And that doesn’t mean I don’t relate. I understand a normal person put in my position would fail. Because since time began, when people wanted to see a star, they’d look up at the Sky. And all that does is put me in the perfect place to reach down and lift you all up here with me. So to all the fans around the world, I’m coming back. And I’m here for you.” But will this comeback finally be the time Scorpio Sky reaches the top of the mountain?

 

Backstage interview with Sonjay Dutt.

Lexy Nair says Sonjay asked for this time, what is on his mind? Sonjay says first off, he sure doesn’t need Lexy here so hit the bricks. Skedaddle, peace, see ya. Lexy sighs and leaves, and Sonjay says this is for Bryan Danielson. The Elite have put a price out on Bryan’s head, and Sonjay just got off the phone with them, they have worked out quite the deal. Bryan says he’ll be on Dynamite, and so is Sonjay. But no, Sonjay isn’t the one that’ll take him out once and for all. This Wednesday, it will be The American Dragon VS… The Indian Giant! Yeah, that’s right! The one in a billion, Satnam Singh!

And y’know what? Dragon meat is expensive, so hopefully he goes well with a little chicken masala. This Wednesday, it will be one hell of a cookout! Sonjay laughs to himself, but will Bryan be the one with the last laugh after taking on this giant roadblock?

 

PROGRAMMING NOTE for Rampage next week!

Yes, Rampage returns to Friday nights next week, BUT at a special time of 6:30 Eastern, 3:30 Pacific! Make sure your DVRs know so you don’t miss this special Double or Nothing weekend edition!

 

Brian Cage VS Anthony Bowens w/ The Acclaimed!

The Machine turned on Swerve and then got beat by Swerve, crossing him off the list of top contenders. But will he reboot and head for other title opportunities? Or will The Acclaimed prove they can get it done in any division?

As always, Platinum Max has a diss track! “I heard Brian Cage got captain plans. We leave you bleeding so hard, you got menstrual cramps! Damn you are ugly, lookin’ pathetic. You are so small, get off the Ozempic! When did Brian Cage stop lifting weights? Beat him so bad, whip his ass into shape! Run you outta town just like Daim, because in Portland, Everybody Loves The Acclaimed!” Bowens then says, “PORTLAAAAND~! The Acclaimed have arrived! Scissor me, Daddy Ass~!” And he does~! The fans are fired up, but will Cage get his stuff in in response?

The bell rings and the fans sing “OH~ Scissor Me, Daddy~!” Cage and Bowens circle, tie up, and Cage shoves Bowens away! Cage flexes, fans are torn, and Cage says to scissor that. Bowens has Cage hold on, and then Bowens flexes. The fans cheer for Bowens, and he does scissor that! Cage runs up, Bowens gets around, then CHOPS! And CHOPS! Cage TOSSES Bowens to a corner, takes a swing, but Bowens dodges! Bowens CHOPS and CHOPS, but Cage shoves Bowens away. Cage runs up, Bowens gets under and kicks low. Bowens whips, Cage reverses, but Bowens goes up and over. Bowens hurdles, headlocks, but Cage powers out.

Bowens hurdles, slips around the lariat and DDTS! Cover, ONE!! Cage is tougher than that but the fans fire up behind Bowens. Bowens gets Cage up but Cage SPINEBUSTERS him! Cage says no more scissors! Cage storms up to RAM into Bowens! And RAM in again! And then CHOP! The fans “WOO~!” while Cage stalks Bowens. Cage bumps Bowens off buckles, then says one more time! NOT! Cage trolls the fans, whips Bowens, then runs up to UPPERCUT! LARIAT! SAIDO! Cage asks who betta but the fans are torn. Cage storms over to Bowens, drags him up, and ROCKS him with a forearm. Cage CHOPS, ROCKS Bowens again, then CHOPS again.

The ref counts, Cage whips corner to corner, then runs up. Bowens dodges the splash, blocks the kick, CLUBS the knee then KNEE JAMMERS into a DRAGON SCREW! Cage writhes and flounders to the apron while Bowens catches his breath. Bowens storms up, brings Cage up, but Cage swings! Bowens ducks, feints, then kicks the legs out! Cage hits apron on the way down, and Bowens aims. Bowens slingshots but Cage moves, so Bowens just goes to the apron. But Cage blocks the Penalty Kick to bring Bowens down, POST BOMB!! Cage gloats, then leaves Bowens behind, while Rampage goes picture in picture.

Bowens writhes, Cage goes back out to drag him up, and RAMS him into barriers! Cage brings Bowens around, SMACKS him off the apron, then drags him up again. Cage whips Bowens hard into steel steps! Bowens falls over in a heap, Cage flexes, then Cage refreshes the ring count. Cage drags Bowens up but Bowens pushes him away. Cage BOOTS Bowens down, then brings him up for an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Cage gloats some more, steps into the ring, and storms up on Bowens. Bowens kicks low, throws hands, but Cage JUMP KNEES! Cage digs his boots into Bowens at the ropes, lets off, and Bowens sputters.

Cage CHOKES Bowens again, the ref counts, and Cage lets off again. Cage drags Bowens up, scoops and uses him for bicep curls! Cage then TOSSES Bowens away! Cage swaggers around, flexes, and covers, TWO! Bowens KICKS Cage from below! And kicks him again! Cage KICKS Bowens, whips him to ropes, then CLOBBERS Bowens! Cage clamps onto Bowens with a chinlock and grinds him down! Bowens endures, Cage grinds him into the mat, but the fans rally up. Bowens fights up to his feet, throws body shots, but Cage KNEES him away. Cage wags his finger, gloats a bit more, then runs corner to corner to forearm smash!

Cage soaks up more cheers and jeers as Rampage returns to single picture. Cage run sin, but Bowens BOOTS him! And BOOTS again! Bowens goes up, leaps, but Cage catches him! Cage suplexes, but Bowens cradle counters! TWO!! Cage escapes but Bowens ducks the discus! Bowens hobbles but he still ROCKS Cage, throws more hands, but Cage SOBATS! KICKS! Cage runs, Bowens follows. Cage dodges, Bowens redirects and spins Cage for Rock, Paper, Scissors, SUPERKICK! The fans fire up with Bowens! Bowens mule kicks, front kicks, runs and FAMOUSERS! Cover, TWO!! Cage survives and Bowens can’t believe it!

The fans rally up and Bowens rises. Bowens waits on Cage, runs up to clinch, but Cage fires elbows! Cage waistlocks, full nelsons and SLAMS Bowens down! Cover, TWO! Cage is frustrated, but he wants Bowens to get up. Cage runs up, Bowens moves aside to KICK Cage in the ropes! Then DRAPING APRON DDT!! Both men are down but the fans fire up! Bowens rises, drags Cage up, and fireman’s carries! Cage fights that to POST Bowens! And ENZIGIRI! Bowens flops around the corner, Cage brings him up from inside! DEADLIFT SUPERPLEX!! Cover, TWO!!! Bowens is still in this and Cage is beside himself!

Cage starts up Terminator drums, the fans join in, and he drags Bowens up. Cage pump handles and lifts, but Bowens slips free of the driver! Bowens runs but Cage ducks the kick to roll Bowens up! Bowens rolls through, and he ducks the discus! The SOUTHPAW hits! Cage reels Bowens in, suplexes, DRILL- NO, Bowens slips free to ROLLING ELBOW! And SUPERKICK! Cage falls, Bowens runs to SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO!! Cage survives but the fans fire up! Bowens huffs and puffs and fires back up! Bowens waits on Cage, fireman’s carries, but the bad leg stops him! Cage shoves Bowens at the ref!

Cage runs up, Bowens sends him at the ref! Bowens waistlocks but Cage LOW BLOWS!! The fans boo but Cage reels Bowens in! DRILL CLAW!!! Cover, Cage wins!!

Winner: Brian Cage, by pinfall

Bowens may be an excellent former Tag & Trios Champion, but sadly he isn’t at the level needed as a singles guy. Will The Acclaimed have to regroup and focus on going after The Elite? Will The Machine be granted golden opportunities by said Elite?


My Thoughts:

A very good Rampage to once again follow up Collision, but I’m relieved that next week is going to be a partial return to normal schedule. Because as great as the matches here were, they just felt thrown together to tangentially tell stories. For example, Kyle VS Lee was a great match but Kyle has beef with The House of Black but they didn’t want Kyle getting one over on Buddy or Brody before facing Malakai next Wednesday. Shane Taylor Promotions deserves a touch better than being fed to the bigger stories, but maybe they come around as a trio after Double or Nothing to face like Bang Bang Gang or something.

And even our main event was an example of this. Great promo from Acclaimed, great rap from Caster as usual, but also a good choice for Cage to still win out. Cage has done singles champ stuff, is going to be the singles champ guy in whatever the former Mogul Embassy becomes after this, or even just a singles guy all on his own. Rush of course squashes his opponent tonight but him going after Chhun after was a good touch. At the same time, I kinda wanted the ref to reverse the decision and disqualify Rush after the match, throwing him into a worse rage and beating up on Chhun more. And again, why no La Faccion Ingobernable? Donde esta Dralistico, Preston Vance y Jose?

Good match from Deonna VS Robyn but of course Deonna won. Rosa going after Deonna and Deonna running away was not what I was expecting, it’s rather disappointing, and why not just give us their rematch with escalated stipulations already? Deonna VS Rosa in a Last Woman Standing maybe? Iron Woman Match so that it goes right to half an hour? Something cool like that would really show Tony Khan finally wants to do more with the Women’s Division after promising it like two or three times already.

And very good promos from Bryan and Sonjay Dutt to set up Bryan VS Satnam. I would think Bryan wins, but there’s a good chance Team Triple J goes after him post match anyway. As I just said in the Collision article, Anarchy in the Arena being No Disqualifications of the highest level, we could actually get way more than just the eight men advertised as the roster starts choosing sides, a very Avengers Civil War/Endgame type situation.

My Score: 8.6/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Collision Results & Report! (5/18/24)

Do it For The World!

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Chris Jericho puts the roster to the test!

In order to reach The Learning Tree, contenders will have to battle through an FTW Contender Series until only one remains! Who fights their way to a shot at The Ocho?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Will Ospreay VS Shane Taylor w/ Anthony Ogogo; Ospreay wins.
  • FTW Contender Series: Hook VS Johnny TV w/ Taya Valkyrie; Hook wins and advances.
  • FTW Contender Series: Kastuyori Shibata VS Rocky Romero; Shibata wins and advances.
  • FTW Contender Series: Bryan Keith VS Beefcake Boulder w/ The Iron Savages; Keith wins and advances.
  • Orange Cassidy VS Isiah Kassidy; Cassidy wins.
  • Serena Deeb VS Anna Jay; Deeb wins.
  • Nick Wayne VS Jack Cartwheel; Wayne wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Bryan Danielson & FTR VS Lance Archer & The Righteous; Bryan & FTR win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Will Ospreay VS Shane Taylor w/ Anthony Ogogo!

The Aerial Assassin gave Roderick Strong one last warning on Dynamite, but this is about paying back that knockout shot last week! Will “OSPREAY! OSPREAY!” be cashing receipts tonight? Or will it be Rumble, Bad Man, Rumble?

But before things get going, here comes The Undisputed Kingdom. Roddy, Taven & Bennett walk on out, clearly not leaving things at the face to face on Wednesday. Roddy joins commentary, the bell rings and Ospreay runs up to SHOTGUN Shane! The fans fire up while Shane bails out! Ospreay aims and PLANCHAS! Down goes Shane and the fans fire up with Ospreay! Ospreay gets Shane up and puts him in, Roddy says “Good for him.” PIP PIP CHEERIO! Cover, ONE!! Shane gets up, Ospreay kicks and CLUBS him, then fires forearms! Ospreay whips but Shane blocks. Ospreay CLUBS and SOBATS, then reels Shane in.

Shane suplexes first! Ospreay slips free, waistlocks, but Shane switches. Shane shoves, HURDLES, then CLOBBERS Ospreay! The Kingdom applauds while Shane paces around. Shane talks some trash, drags Ospreay up, and HEADBUTTS him! The fans rally for Ospreay, Ospreay fires forearms, but Shane ROCKS him right back! Ospreay flops out to the apron, the fans boo Shane, but then Taven talks smack. The ref tells Taven to back off, Shane tells The Kingdom this is how you finish the job! Shane CHOPS Ospreay and Ospreay sputters with the air going out of his lungs! Shane mocks the fans, Roddy says keep up those chops.

Shane stands Ospreay up against the post, tells Roddy to watch this, but then Ospreay POSTS Shane! Ospreay runs up to TORNADO- NO, Shane stops that and pops Ospreay around! Ospreay slips free, and shoves Shane into The Kingdom! The fans fire up and Roddy is furious! Ospreay SPLASHES Roddy with The WOOOO Energy! But while the ref is busy with The Kingdom, Ogogo sucker punches Ospreay! The fans boo but Ogogo soaks up the heat, and Collision goes picture in picture.

Shane looms over Ospreay, drags him up, and brings him around to put on the apron. Shane CLUBS away on Ospreay, the ref counts, and Shane goes up the apron. Shane runs  and APRON LEG DROPS! Ospreay sputters and flounders away, but Shane storms in after him. Shane paces, the fans rally up, and Ospreay fires forearms in return! Shane KNEES low, then scoops to BACKBREAKER! Ospreay writhes, Shane shoves him to a cover, TWO! Ogogo says it’s that close. Shane talks trash on the fans, then drags Ospreay up. Shane ROCKS Ospreay, Ospreay goes to a corner, and Shane storms up to HEADBUTT him!

Shane BODY BLOWS Ospreay and Ospreay staggers away. Shane talks Ospreay, ROCKS him again, and Ospreay drops to his knees. Shane drags Ospreay back up, to JAB! JAB! And JABS! Ospreay drops to his knees again, but Shane brings him right back up for a BEARHUG! Ospreay endures the squeeze as Collision returns to single picture. The fans rally, Ospreay fires forearm sand gets free! Ospreay fires more shots, but Shane CHOPS! Ospreay staggers, grits his teeth, and the fans fire up! But Shane CHOPS again! Ospreay headbutts the buckles to fire up! Shane CHPOS, Ospreay CHOPS, and Ospreay CHIOPS, CHOPS, CHOPS!

Shane CHOPS again, Ospreay staggers away, and Shane whips. Ospreay handsprings to NEURALIZER KICK! Roddy says so much talent, but Ospreay is still an idiot child fraud! The fans rally up for Ospreay, Ospreay kips up, and he runs up to BOOT in the corner! Ospreay shoves Shane away, goes up top, and BLINDSIDE CHEERIO! Cover, TWO! Shane is tough but Ospreay loads up the arm! The fans fire up as Ospreay aims, Ospreay runs in, but into a KNEE! Ospreay swings, Shane bobs ‘n’ weaves, and then HEADBUTTS! Ospreay wobbles, Shane reels him in, URENAGE! Shane SPLASHES down! Cover, TWO!! Ospreay survives and Shane is shocked!

The fans fire up as Shane huffs and puffs. Shane brings Ospreay back up, scoops, but Ospreay fights around to Electric Chair and spin! But Shane blocks the rana to POWERBOMB! Shane stands Ospreay back up, but Ospreay ducks a lariat! The SOUTHPAW finds Ospreay! Cover, TWO!! Ospreay survives and even he’s surprised! The fans are thunderous, Shane grits his teeth and drags Ospreay up. Shane runs, but into a SPANISH FLY?! Cover, TWO!! Shane survives and Roddy is mad that Ospreay even did that! But then The Kingdom stand in Ospreay’s way! Ospreay redirects, OS- NO, Shane blocks, scoops, MARCUS GARVEY DRIVER!! Cover, TWO?!?

Shane is losing his cool while The Kingdom is losing their minds! Shane tucks Ospreay, lifts, but Ospreay slips free! Ospreay BOOTS, “This is Awesome!” as Ospreay goes up. Shane ROCKS Ospreay first, then climbs up. But Ospreay slips out to tuck Shane in! CHEEKY NANDOS! And AGAIN! Ospreay fires up, THIRD CHEEKY NANDOS! Then Ospreay uses the corner to help with the Canadian Rack! STORM BREAKER!! Cover, Ospreay wins!!

Winner: Will Ospreay, by pinfall

The Kingdom is in shock seeing the BIGGEST Stormbreaker ever! Ospreay glares at Roddy as Roddy steps to the apron. But The Kingdom flanks the ring, get in and mug Ospreay! The fans boo as Bennett & Taven beat Ospreay down! They double whip, but Ospreay holds ropes! Ospreay then DUMPS both Taven & Bennett out, BOOTS Roddy off the apron, then FLIES to take out Taven & Bennett! The #BillyGOAT gets away clean, will he be able to take The Kingdom down and bring the International Championship home to The Don Callis Family?

 

Blackpool Combat Club speaks.

Jon Moxley says, “At Double or Nothing in Las Vegas, Konosuke Takeshita-san will try to score himself a shot at the IWGP (World Heavyweight) Championship. He’s been a hell of a blue chipper for quite some time. Now, he’s got a new attitude, some new representation. And he came after me. Me. Trying to put a big ol’ notch in that gun belt. Hey, I get it. I’ve done far worse. What’s my secret? What’s the secret of the BCC? When you stand where I stand in this sport, you get used to being a target. How do we survive? Guys like you, The Callis Family, you’re in it for the gold, you’re in it for the green and chasing fame and fortune, adulation, Instagram, all that.

“BCC, we don’t give a rat’s ass about any of that. We do this because this is who we are. This is our nature. We don’t hunt because we are hungry, we hunt because we are lions. We like it. We never, ever play for money. We play for blood.” Claudio Castagnoli adds that a lot of times, he’s the voice of reason here. Even when no one listens, it’s fine. Things just keep repeating and repeating and he doesn’t like standing here to talk to the camera, because it is the most awful thing to do. What matters is going out there and showing it week after week! And y’know how many people stand back here and tell you how good they are? How great they are?

They have passion! They practice their lines in the mirror! Then they come here, tell you how really, really good they are, and how it’s just been their dream all their lives. And it’s all fake! So fake because they don’t live it one day of their lives. It’s like The Emperor’s New Clothes. Only the BCC can see it. They see through the fake, through the facade. They see through it because while others try to make a name off BCC, that’s a big mistake. You are dealing with the real deal right here! Moxley likes it. Takeshita, you started this game. At Double or Nothing, the BCC finishes it. Will The Maniac tear down The Alpha and send a message to the rest?

 

BREAKING NEWS for AEW’s “Path to All In!”

The first-ever AEW “Summer Series” is heading to the Arlington ESports Stadium, and will be based there for six whole weeks! Collision on Saturday, July 20th, ROH Death Before Dishonor on Friday, July 26th, Collision on July 27th, Collision on Thursday, August 1st, then Saturday, August 10th AND Saturday, August 17th! Make sure you get your tickets starting in June so you can be part of this inaugural event!

 

AEW hears from Chris Jericho & “Big Bill” Morrissey.

It was backstage after Dynamite that The Learning Tree, after getting patched up, told Hook, “Wow, I can tell that I touched a nerve there when you hit me with that microphone and made me bleed my own blood.” But Hook, Jericho isn’t mad. It tells him that Hook is learning what it takes to be a champion again. Hook was the “For The World” Champion, and will be again some day, but it’ll take some time. Hook is still learning. Jericho is glad Hook is in the #JerichoVortex and hit him hard enough to make him bleed. It really hurts, but y’know what? It also makes Jericho proud. Makes him proud to see Hook get a little more serious! This is serious business!

This is what The Learning Tree is here for! To make Hook a better person and a better wrestler, both inside the ring and out. Jericho will need stitches, and will gladly get them. Because it is proof that Hook is learning what The Learning Tree is teaching. So in a roundabout way, thank you, Hook. And good luck in the qualifiers. Wow, that really hurts. Really got him with that mic. Hook is “learning,” but will he be the one teaching Jericho a thing or two?

 

FTW Contender Series: Hook VS Johnny TV w/ Taya Valkyrie!

The Learning Tree is giving opportunities to those who are worthy, but it will still come down to who is the most deserving. Will the Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil prove he’s the only one deserving? Or will Johnny #SendHook to the back of the line?

The bell rings and the fans rally for Hook. The two circle, Johnny tests the waters with kicks. The two tie up, Hook headlocks, and Hook wrenches to a hammerlock then headlock. Hook hits a SAYANAGI, and Johnny staggers to his feet. The fans rally as the two circle again. They tie up, Johnny ROCKS Hook! Hook wrenches back to SAYANAGI again! Hook clamps on for a wristlock, but Johnny fights up. The fans duel, Johnny fights up and trips Hook up. Johnny runs to SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO! Hook is tougher than that but Johnny rains down forearms and elbows! The fans duel more as Johnny keeps throwing down shots!

Hook wants an arm but Johnny slips around to cravat. Johnny cranks the neck, Hook endures and fights up. The fans rally and duel, Hook pries at the hold to then power Johnny into a SAIDO! Hook runs up to LARIAT! Johnny staggers back up, Hook clinches and throws knees! Hook TOSSES Johnny across the ring! Johnny gets up in a huff, kicks, but Hook catches him! LEG CAPTURE SUPLEX! The fans fire up with Hook and he storms around. Hook brings Johnny up but Johnny JAWBREAKERS! Johnny ROCKS Hook, Hook ROCKS Johnny! Hook fires more shots, but Johnny kicks low! Hook dodges the lariat, but almost runs into Taya!

The ref reprimands Taya for being on the apron, but Hook turns around into a FLYING CHUCK! Johnny goes to the corner, climbs up, STARSHIP PAIN FLOPS as Hook moves! Hook is mad now, and he clamps on for REDRUM!! Johnny fights but Hook has the hooks in! Johnny TAPS, Hook wins!

Winner: Hook, by submission (advances to the Triple Threat)

The Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil is now moving on to Dynamite’s Triple Threat #1 Contender’s match! Will he make Jericho regret not just giving him the match?

As Hook heads out, Shibata makes his entrance! The Wrestler is also in this series, and he gives Hook a fist bump as they cross paths. Will Shibata join Hook in that Triple Threat? Or will Azucar make things sweet?

FTW Contender Series: Kastuyori Shibata VS Rocky Romero!

The bell rings, the two shake hands, and the fans cheer. Shibata and Rocky circle, the fans rally up, and the two feel things out. They knuckle lock, Shibata gets around to waistlock, but Rocky switches. Shibata switches, Rocky goes for a leg, but Shibata waistlocks again. Rocky wrenches out to a wristlock but Shibata spins and wrenches back. Rocky rolls but Shibata wrangles him! Shibata double wristlocks, but Rocky powers Shibata to ropes. Shibata still holds onto the wristlock as Rocky tries to whip. The fans rally, Rocky throws knees and powers out this time. Shibata stops himself to stomp Rocky on the back!

Shibata gets a leg, steps through, and has the FIGURE FOUR! The fans “WOO~!” as Rocky endures. Shibata puts on pressure, but Rocky crawls for ropes! ROPEBREAK, and Shibata lets go quickly. Shibata stomps Rocky, CLUBS him, then CLUBS him again. Shibata runs, but Rocky catches him into an IRON OCTOPUS! The fans cheer while Shibata endures! Shibata fights up, pops free and throws Rocky down! And it’s back to the FIGURE FOUR! Rocky endures again while fans “WOO~!” Shibata puts on the pressure, Rocky pries at the main leg, but Shibata pulls on Rocky’s legs. They roll, roll, and end up in the ROPEBREAK!

The ref counts, the leglock is undone, and Shibata brings Rocky up to bump him off buckles. Shibata fires forearms, UPPERCUTS, then UPPERCUTS again. Shibata goes corner to corner, but into a BOOT! Rocky kicks again, Shibata bocks, so Rocky reel shim in for an UPPERCUT! Rocky goes up and jumps, TORNADO DDT! Both men are down and the fans fire up while Collision goes picture in picture.

Rocky stands and he stomps Shibata. Shibata sits up, Rocky KICKS him in the back. Rocky wrenches an arm, YANKS it, then wrenches for an ELBOW BREAKER! Rocky KICKS Shibata in the bad arm, then brings Shibata around. Rocky turns Shibata over, traps the right arm and he pulls on the bad one, SACRIFICE! Shibata writhes and clutches the elbow. Rocky storms up to hook that bad arm and KNEE DROP! Rocky drags Shibata up, wraps the bad arm around the ropes, and then digs his boots in. Rocky CHOPS, Shibata drops to his knees, but Rocky wrenches again. ELBOW BREAKER! Rocky KICKS the bad arm again! And again!

Rocky cravats to snapmare Shibata, then runs to basement dropkick! Rocky fires up and Collision goes to break.

Collision returns, Rocky KICKS Shibata in the arm! Shibata eggs Rocky on and the fans rally up. Rocky KICKS again, but Shibata stands! Rocky KICKS, and KICKS, but Shibata just steps into them! Shibata DECKS Rocky and the fans fire up! Rocky is dazed but Shibata brings him up. Shibata CHOPS and the fans “WOO~!” Shibata CHOPS again, and CHOPS again! And CHOPS and UPPERCUTS and runs, but Rocky dumps him out! Shibata stays on the apron, and gets a SLEEPER! The ref counts, Rocky wrenches free to HOTSHOT the arm! Rocky reels Shibata in through ropes, to KICK, KICK and he goes up! MISSILE DROPKICK!

The fans fire up, Rocky drags Shibata to a cover, TWO! Rocky frowns but stays focused as he brings Shibata up. Rocky cravats, Shibata pushes out of Sliced Bread! Rocky’s leg jams, Shibata CLOBBERS him! Shibata comes back, leg scissor takedown into the HEEL HOOK!! Rocky flails, reaches out, but Shibata keeps him back! Rocky crawls his way over, reaches out, ROPEBREAK! The fans are torn as Shibata lets Rocky go. Shibata stomps Rocky, drags him up, and fires off forearms. Shibata UPPERCUTS, then stomps Rocky down. Shibata goes corner to corner, HYDRAULIC DROPKICK! The fans fire up but Shibata’s not done!

Shibata hits a HALF HATCH, then covers, TWO! Shibata clamps on a SLEEPER! Rocky fights up, pries at the hold, pops free to somersault clutch, TWO! Shibata swings, Rocky gets under and backslides, TWO! Shibata escapes, gets a leg, ducks the enzigiri but not the REWIND! Rocky rolls up deep, TWO!! Shibata escapes again and the fans fire up! Rocky and Shibata reset, Rocky UPPERCUTS, then HAYMAKERS! Rocky runs in, but into a fireman’s carry! USHIGOROSHI! Shibata runs to PENALTY KICK! Then he gets Rocky’s legs, for the FIGURE FOUR!! Rocky endures, flails, but he’s at center! Rocky TAPS, Shibata wins!

Winner: Katsuyori Shibata, by submission (advances to the Triple Threat)

And with that, we’re two thirds of the way to that contender’s match! Shibata shows Rocky respect, Rocky shows it back, and Rocky tells Shibata to go win that title. Will The Wrestler get past the Triple Threat to get another shot at Jericho?

Well, just like Shibata did with Hook, Bryan Keith makes his way out while Shibata’s leaving. The Bounty Hunter gives The Wrestler a tip of the hat, will this be the final piece to the puzzle? Or will things get literally much bigger for Dynamite?

As the Iron Savages make their entrance, Jacked Jameson tells “all you fat morons, skinny idiots, and Low T Losers to shut up.” The fans boo instead, but Jameson says he rode the Max Rail Line from the airport to the hotel downtown, and all along the tracks, it is filled with trash! Now that they’re here in the Moto Center, it’s funny, because it’s also filled with trash! The fans boo being insulted, but Jameson says he can’t wait to leave this dump. But this is the Sauce Hoss, Beefcake Boulder! He’s sippin’ sauce, livin’ hoss, and taking everybody to #TIDDYCITY! And then he just attacks Keith!!

FTW Contender Series: Bryan Keith VS Beefcake Boulder w/ The Iron Savages!

The bell rings and Boulder fires big elbows and clotheslines into Keith in a corner! Bulky Bronson and Jacked Jameson cheer him on, but Keith slips free of the scoop! Keith KICKS and KICKS and KICKS, then runs, but into a BOOT! Boulder drags Keith up, scoops him again, and flexes as he carries Keith around. POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Keith is tougher than that but Boulder tells Jameson to pass him that Savage Sauce! Jameson gets on the apron but the ref tells him to hop down. This is all a distraction so Bronson can get involved! Boulder brings down the straps but Keith sends Bronson into Tiddy City!

Bronson falls, Keith BITES them tibbies! The fans fire up, Keith runs, but Boulder ELBOWS him down! Boulder goes up, but Keith RISING HEADBUTTS! Boulder wobbles, Keith goes up and reels him in, for DIAMOND DUST!! Cover, Keith wins!!

Winner: Bryan Keith, by pinfall (advances to the Triple Threat)

Now that was a BIG win for Bryan Keith! The Triple Threat is set, will The Bounty Hunter be just one step away from having his prize?

 

Backstage interview with Pac.

Lexy Nair has found The Bastard somewhere in the bowels of the arena, and says that last week, The Bang Bang Gang had a message for him. Does Pac care to respond? Pac says he couldn’t care less! But obviously, he saw their little message. Credit where credit is due, those guys are very funny chaps. Hilarious, even. And typically, they’re naughty behavior would really ruffle his bastard feathers. But not today. He couldn’t care less. Pac hasn’t felt a thing in weeks! And you expect him to care about those idiots?! In fact, let this be an open invitation! Make him feel something! Make him feel anything, boys! He’s begging you, daring you! Make him care. Try harder.

And as for Lexy, just leave him alone. She nods and leaves. The Bastard is in no mood, but will that all change the next time Bullet Club Gold takes aim at him?

 

Bullet Club Gold is here!

AEW returns from break, and wait! They’ve attacked Pac! They drag him out here on stage! Jay White kneels beside Pac, gets a mic, and makes Pac sit up. “I bet you care now, don’t you? Bastard.” The Switchblade & The Gunns leave Pac down and out, and White says he told Pac to stay out of their business. Is Pac going to heed the Bang Bang Gang’s warning? Or is he only going to escalate things from here?

 

The Patriarchy speaks.

Christian Cage tells Nick Wayne, “You have a match right here tonight on Collision. And it’s jut a precursor to this coming Wednesday on Dynamite, because you are gonna be facing… Swerve Strickland. I know you’re ready for it. Yo have our support.” Nick thanks Christian, and says he’s been meaning to talk with him. A year ago, when Swerve jumped him in the garage, Nick was just a boy. A kid. But ever since teaming with Christian, he has changed. Nick is now a man! And tonight, this is just a warm-up. Nick knows he can beat Swerve on his own. Nick heads out, Christian & Mother Shayna beam with pride. Will Swerve’s House soon end up in Wayne’s World?

 

Orange Cassidy VS Isiah Kassidy!

Freshly Squeezed is certainly feeling out of sorts after Trent Beretta made things all about #JustTrent. But likewise, Private Party might have to get serious as sadly, Marq Quen is again on the shelf. Cassidy or Kassidy, who wins to get themselves back on the right track?

The bell rings and the fans rally for Cassidy as he and Kassidy circle. Zay runs up, Cassidy trips him but Zay kicks him away. Things speed up, Zay hurdles, Cassidy leaps over, then they keep moving. Cassidy arm-drags, Zay needs a moment, and the fans fire up. Zay runs up, Cassidy dodges, but now Zay arm-drags! Cassidy hobbles up, blocks a hip toss, then he wrenches to a backslide! TWO, and Cassidy reels Zay in! Zay rolls Cassidy, TWO! Cassidy sweeps to cover, ONE! Zay sweeps to cover, ONE! They keep going back and forth, then Zay goes Matrix! But Cassidy powers him down, ties the legs up, BOW ‘N’ ARROW!

The fans fire up while Zay endures, and Zay pops free to cover! TWO, Cassidy avoids a boot, then shows punch! Zay stumbles back, the fans fire up! Zay bails out and wants a timeout. Cassidy does give him time on the outside, and Zay paces around. The ring count climbs, Zay hurries up but Cassidy BLASTS him off the apron! Cassidy builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit and Zay avoids the desk! Don Callis is watching backstage and approves. Cassidy goes out after Zay to ROCK him with a right, then Cassidy refreshes the count. Cassidy ROCKS Zay again, refreshes the count again, taking a pause to lounge on the apron.

Cassidy DECKS Zay this time, then he puts his hands up. The fans cheer as Cassidy puts his hands in his pockets! Cassidy runs up at Zay, to SHOTGUN him into the barriers! The fans fire up as Cassidy kips up. Cassidy stalks Zay, drags him up, and whips him into more barriers! But wait, Trent is walking down the bleachers! Th efans boo but Cassidy is distracted, and Zay attacks! Zay CLUBS away, then shoves Cassidy down. Zay whips Cassidy, Cassidy reverses, Zay goes up the barriers! Zay flips up and over, then RAMS Cassidy into barriers! BARRIER BACK SUPLEX! Trent pretends to be concerned as Zay puts Cassidy in.

Zay climbs up, leaps, but Cassidy gets away! Zay rolls, Cassidy ducks ‘n’ dodges, but runs into a tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKER! Zay drags Cassidy up, whips Cassidy into a corner hard, and Cassidy tumbles up and out! Trent applauds, the ring count starts, and Collision goes picture in picture.

Zay leaves Cassidy behind, Cassidy rolls his way towards the apron but the count is 5 of 10. Cassidy stands and rolls in at 7, only for Zay to DROPKICK him back out! Zay then goes out to get Cassidy, and whips him hard into barriers! Zay mocks the hands in pockets, then he stomps away on Cassidy. Zay drags Cassidy up and puts him in the ring, then slingshot SENTONS! Zay mocks the hands in pockets some more, then soaks up the heat with a mocking thumbs up. Zay then mocks the “devastating” kicks! Zay kicks and kicks, but Cassidy fires body shots in return! Zay gets around to hit a BIG back suplex!

Zay talks trash, stalks Cassidy, then drags him up. Zay CHOKES Cassidy on the ropes, but the ref counts. Zay lets off at 4, argues with the ref, then drags Cassidy up. Zay whips Cassidy hard into buckles! Cassidy falls in a heap and flops right out of the ring. Zay drags steel steps over, talks a little trash on Trent, then grabs Cassidy. Zay SMACKS Cassidy off the steps, talks a bit more smack on Trent, but Trent tells him to focus on Cassidy. Zay drags Cassidy up to the very top of the steps, and Trent says go ahead. Zay lifts, Collision returns to single picture, but Cassidy fights back! Cassidy back drops Zay to the floor!

The fans rally for Cassidy as he gets in the ring. Cassidy grits his teeth, Trent frowns, and Zay rolls back in. Cassidy drags himself up with the ropes, the fans rally, and Zay storms up, but into counter punches! They go back and forth, Zay eggs Cassidy on, so Cassidy ROCKS him again and again! Zay RAMS Cassidy into a corner, then reels him in, to suplex! STUN DOG MILLIONAIRE! The fans fire up, Cassidy runs, tilt-o-whirl DDT! The fans fire up again while Trent scowls. Cassidy grits his teeth, kips up, and the fans cheer! The elbow pad comes off and Cassidy throws it at Trent! Cassidy aims at Zay, for the ORANGE- NO Zay ducks!

Cassidy tries to Alabama Lift but the back gives up! Zay CLUBS away, reels Cassidy in, but Cassidy powers up! Zay sunset flips, TWO!! Cassidy escapes, kicks, but Zay blocks and flips him off! Step over WHEEL KICK! The fans rally, Cassidy goes to a corner, and Zay runs up! Cassidy sends him into buckles! Cassidy runs in, Zay dodges, Cassidy tumbles up and out! Cassidy bumps Zay off buckles, runs him side to side for another! And then another! but Zay triangle jump STUNNERS! Cassidy wobbles, Zay reels him in, but Cassidy back drops him to the apron! Zay gets up, Cassidy BOOTS him! Zay BOOTS back!

Cassidy roars, DOUBLE BOOTS send both men down! The fans fire up as Cassidy and Zay flounder around. Cassidy sees Trent, the ref has them both calm it down! Trent says he’s just watching, he’s a good boy. Zay CALF KICKS Cassidy against barriers! Zay puts Cassidy in, but Cassidy comes back! Zay dodges the Orange Punch and it almost hits the ref! Cassidy turns around, dodges Zay, but the ref ends up helping Zay with SILLY STRING!! Cassidy staggers up, Zay runs, tilt-o-whirl and DDT! Zay keeps going, he climbs a corner! SWANTON BOMB to Cassidy’s back! Cover, TWO!!! Zay can’t believe Cassidy survives!

The fans rally, Trent is upset, but Zay drags Cassidy up and reels him in. Cassidy lifts to BEACH BREAK!! Cover, Cassidy wins!!

Winner: Orange Cassidy, by pinfall

Trent is disappointed but Callis is pleased. Is Cassidy really going to end up turning to the dark side- er, Don Callis Family? Lexy interviews Trent at ringside, saying we saw him attack his former best friends. And now he’s here in the front row to watch the match. Clearly, this is far from over. Trent says being here ringside, it is plainly obvious that he is a better wrestler than Cassidy! The fans boo but Trent says the only reason Cassidy won was because he cheated! Trent claims Cassidy is a sociopath who thinks rules don’t apply to him! But they do! Rules matter!

But while we’re all out here, Trent wants to issue a challenge for Double or Nothing! A straight up wrestling match! Trent VS “that narcissist,” Orange Cassidy! Cassidy DECKS Trent!! Cassidy drags Trent over the railing, security separates them fast! The fans want to “LET THEM FIGHT!” but we’ll see that soon enough. Will Trent suffer for what he did? Or will his delusional ego fuel him until he’s gotten rid of all his former Best Friends?

 

Serena Deeb VS Anna Jay!

The Professor of Professional Wrestling is preparing to take on the AEW Women’s World Champion, “Timeless” Toni Storm. Double or Nothing is just over a week away, will Deeb use the Star of the Show to tune-up for the leading lady?

The bell rings and the fans rally up. Deeb throws her shirt at Anna, then kicks her low! Deeb CLUBS away, reels Anna in, TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Cover, TWO! Deeb keeps on Anna by tying her up in Paradise! Deeb sits on Anna while Anna is stuck! Deeb then rallies the fans, runs up and DROPKICKS Anna out of Paradise! The fans cheer, Deeb brings Anna up, but Anna fires off forearms! Anna whips, ROCKS Deeb, then snapmares. Anna runs to BLOCKBUSTER! Deeb staggers up, Anna reels her in, NORTHERN LIGHTS! Deeb stumbles away, Anna ROCKS her in a corner! Anna whips Deeb corner to corner, runs up, but blocks boot!

Deeb reels Anna in to KICK Anna, then slips out to the apron. Deeb avoids Anna’s shoulder thrust, to get her for a NECKBREAKER HOTSHOT! The fans cheer Deeb as Collision goes picture in picture.

Deeb storms in, drags Anna up, ripcords and ELBOWS her, then wrenches to hook Anna up, IRON OCTOPUS! Anna endures, even as Deeb bends her fingers! Anna fights her way forward, ROPEBREAK! Deeb holds until the ref counts 4, then she whips. Anna reverses but Deeb turns hip toss into takedown! Deeb sits down, has the legs, and turns Anna over for the SEATED SURFBOARD! Anna endures as Deeb rocks the boat, then Deeb lets off to hook the arms, GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!! Anna escapes, but Deeb TOSSES her out! Deeb runs up, but Anna ROCKS her back! Anna storms in, but Deeb gets a leg! DRAPING DRAGON SCREW!

Deeb runs, and she BLASTS Anna off the apron! Deeb then storms out after Anna, drags her up, and reels her in. TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT to the floor! Anna flounders, Deeb fires up, and Deeb gets Anna into the ring. Cover, TWO, and Collision goes to break.

Collision returns and Deeb has Anna in a COBRA TWIST! Anna endures, pries at the hold, and HIP TOSSES free! The fans fire up as Deeb stands up, and Anna cradles! TWO, and Anna dodges Deeb to CLOBBER her! And ELBOW her down! Anna fires up, runs corner to corner, ELBOW! ROLLING ELBOW! Anna whips corner to corner, runs in, LEG LARIAT! The fans fire up and Anna whips again, but Deeb reverses. Anna still catches Deeb for a COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO! Anna hurries to get Deeb up, whips her to ropes, but Deeb dodges now! Deeb dodges again, then LARIATS Anna down! Deeb fires up and the fans are torn.

Deeb stalks Anna to a corner, runs up, but into a BOOT! Deeb roars, blocks the boot, ELBOWS Anna and hooks her up in the ropes! DRAPING DRAGON SCREW! Anna hobbles, Deeb reels her in, but Anna switches! Deeb switches, Anna fights the nelson and elbows Deeb. Deeb shoves Anna to SNAP GERMAN! Then Deeb wrenches, hammerlocks, and PEPSI TWISTS! Cover, TWO!! Anna survives but Deeb keeps her focus. The fans rally for Deeb and she brings Anna up. Deeb reels Anna in, but Anna wrenches out to HOOK KICK! Anna runs, Deeb follows, CHOP BLOCK! Then Deeb stomps the bad leg, drops an elbow on the knee, then drops another elbow!

But Anna gets the QUEENSLAYER!! Deeb pushes back to a cover, TWO!! Anna lets Deeb go, gets her back up, Gory Especial! But the bad leg stops her! Deeb backslides Anna, rolls her through and reels her in! Deeb tucks the arms, for the DEEB-TOX!! But that’s not all, Deeb kicks Anna over to get that leg! HALF CRAB! Wait, Luther is out here? He is taking Deeb’s banner?! Anna TAPS, Deeb wins!

Winner: Serena Deeb, by submission

Deeb sees what that butler is up to, and she’s furious! Deeb can’t believe Storm would be so petty as to have her manservant take her banner! Mariah May walks out here now, she and Luther hold the banner open for all to see, but what’s this about? Oh well here comes Toni Storm herself! The Leading Lady looks at the banner, and strips behind it!? The banner is now a dress that wraps around Storm as she kicks off her shoes! Deeb is even angrier now, and she chases after Storm! Storm and entourage run away, will Deeb strip Storm naked of that Women’s World Championship?

 

Nick Wayne VS Jack Cartwheel!

The Prodigy of The Patriarchy, the honorary son of Christian Cage, is looking to get payback on Swerve himself next Wednesday. But will he be ready to make AEW into Wayne’s World? Or will he struggle to even get past the acrobatic wonder that is Jack Cartwheel?

The bell rings, Wayne runs up to BOOT Jack down! Wayne stomps away on Jack, lets off to soak up heat, and then takes aim again. Wayne runs corner to corner, but Jack cartwheels away! And cartwheels again! Jack runs, tilt-o-whirls and RANAS! Wayne bails out, Jack CARTWHEEL KICKS him down! The fans fire up for Jack, and he builds speed to FOSBURY FLOP, emphasis on flop! Wayne avoided disaster, then gets Jack up and into the ring. Wayne says he’s too smart for that, and he rains down fists! The fans boo as Wayne lets off, and he slams Jack down. Wayne stands on Jack’s face, scrapes him, then PENALTY KICKS him!

Wayne flexes and soaks up heat, then goes back to Jack. Wayne pats Jack on the face, goes up and up, into WAYNE’S WORLD!! Wayne goes to cover, but then says no, that’s not good enough. Wayne sits Jack up, tells Swerve that he’ll be waiting. “Whose House?”! HOUSE CALL!! Cover, Wayne wins!

Winner: Nick Wayne, by pinfall

Message sent, but surely The Realest doesn’t sweat Nick Wayne. Will Swerve make Wayne’s World come crashing down? Or is this a trap game so close to Double or Nothing?

 

Six Man Tag: Bryan Danielson & FTR VS Lance Archer & The Righteous!

It would seem there’s a bounty out for The Elite’s opponents in Anarchy in the Arena. The American Dragon, Cash & Dax don’t mind, though, because they’re always down for a fight! Will AEW’s Top Guys prove to the EVPs that if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself? Or will The Murderhawk Monster alongside good o’ Dutch & Vincent show that #EverybodyDies?

The teams sort out and Dax starts against Vinnie. The fans rally up, the two circle, and they tie up. Dax puts Vinnie in a corner, Vinnie turns things around, and Vinnie smothers Dax. Vinnie throws body shots, lets off as then ref counts, then throws more body shots. Vinnie brings Dax around to scrape off the ropes! The ref reprimands, Vinnie lets off, and he whips corner to corner. Dax hits buckles hard, and Vinnie gets in Dax’s face! “This is for the EVPs, man!” Vinnie whips corner to corner, Dax reverses and CHOPS Vinnie down! Dax snap suplexes, drops a leg, then covers, TWO! Dax keeps Vinnie from his corner, tag to Cash.

Dax feeds Vinnie to Cash’s knees, then Cash fireman’s carries. He and Dax work together, assisted GOURD BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Cash headlocks, Vinnie powers up but can’t power out. Cash hits a takeover, grinds Vinnie down, and Vinnie fights up. Vinnie powers up, drops down then ELBOWS Cash! Vinnie says, “Dig what I’m saying?!” Vinnie stalks Cash to the corner, tags Dutch, and The Righteous mug Cash! The fans boo, the ref reprimands, and Dutch DECKS Cash. Dutch scoops Cash to SLAM him down! Dutch smirks at Dax, then drags Cash up. Dutch whips, Cash goes up and over and keeps moving! He even ducks the boot!

Dutch scoops, Cash slips out to JAB! JAB! JAB! Cash bobs ‘n’ weaves then DROPKICKS! Tag to Dax, FTR double whip Dutch to double body shot, and DOUBLE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Cover, TWO! Dutch is tougher than that but Dax keeps on Dutch. The fans want Bryan, Dax whips but Dutch reverses. Dax BOOTS back, goes up, FLYING BULLDOG! Archer gets in to choke grip! Bryan and Cash make the save, Vinnie joins in, and it is a brawl! The fans fire up as Bryan TOSSES Vinnie! Cash ROCKS Archer, Dax throws Dutch out! Bryan runs Vinnie into barriers, and Collision goes picture in picture!

Bryan has people move aside so he can sit Vinnie in the corner. Bryan KICKS and KICKS and KICKS and KICKS! Bryan then runs side to side, and he DROPKICKS Vinnie into barriers! Bryan revels in the cheering, FTR keeps after Archer and Dutch. Cash CHOPS Archer, Bryan SMACKS Vinnie off the apron, and Cash high-fives fans before he CHOPS Archer again! Cash leaves Archer behind so he can help Dax with Dutch. Vinnie turns things around on Bryan, Cash HEADBUTTS Dutch! Cash puts Dutch in the ring, then scares Vinnie off. Bryan & FTR regroup, but Archer still gets a shot in on Bryan!

The teams regroup, Dax DECKS Vinnie before getting in the ring. Dax runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges, but Dutch BODY CHECKS him! Cover, TWO! Dutch looms over Dax, drags him up, and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Vinnie, the Righteous mug Dax, and the ref counts. Vinnie slaps Dax around, brings him around and snapmares, then clamps on a chinlock. Vinnie squeezes tight but Dax endures and Collision returns to single picture. The fans boo but Dax endures. Dax fights up and the fans rally up. Dax throws body shots, but Vinnie ROCKS Dax! Vinnie puts Dax up top, climbs up after him, but Dax throws hands in return!

Vinnie falls back, but Dutch storms up! Dax throws hands on him, too! Dax then leaps, but into a BOOT from Vinnie! Vinnie then BASEMENT FLATLINERS! Cover, TWO! Vinnie drags Dax up, puts him in the corner and tags Archer. Archer BODY BLOWS, then he ROCKS Dax! Dax flops through ropes, but Archer brings him back in. Archer runs corner to corner to ELBOW! Archer keeps moving, and he ELBOWS Dax again! Archer keeps going, but Dax dodges! The fans fire up and Dax storms up. Archer puts Dax up top! Archer ROCKS Dax, then inverted crucifix lifts! But Dax CLAWS Archer’s face and BITES his forehead!

Dax steadies himself up top, but Archer STEP UP KNEES! Archer runs again, but only gets buckles! Archer staggers, Vinnie tags in! Vinnie gets Dax’s legs, but Dax kicks Vinnie away! Dutch tags in, runs up, but Dax avoids the elbow drop! Hot tag to Bryan! The fans fire up as Bryan fires off forearms! Dutch stays up so Bryan CHOPS, CHOPS and KICKS! The fans chant “YES! YES! YES!” with every KICK! Bryan whips, Dutch reverses but Bryan goes up and over! Bryan keeps moving, ducks ‘n’ dodges, to LEAPING LARIAT! Portland is thunderous as Bryan KICKS, KICKS and KICKS! Bryan winds up, BUZZ- NO, Dutch ducks it!

Dutch shoves Bryan to ropes, Bryan stops himself, and Dutch runs up. Bryan dumps Dutch out, builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit and Dutch hits railing! The fans fire up as Bryan puts Dutch back in! Bryan goes up, Dutch stands, Bryan MISSILE DROPKICKS! Down goes Dutch, Bryan kips up! Vinnie runs up, Bryan dodges! Cash DROPKICKS Vinnie! Bryan & Cash coordinate, cash DROPKICKS Dutch! Bryan DROPKCISK Dutch while Cash DROPKICKS Vinnie! Cash PLANCHAS Vinnie, Bryan runs, but manages to escape the Scrapbuster! Bryan wrangles Dutch into the omoplata! Dutch fights around, but ends u in the LEBELL LOCK!

Archer STOMPS Bryan! Cash runs up, into a SPINEBUSTER! Archer gets Dax, for the CHOKE SLAM!! Archer roars, he and Vinnie stomp away on Bryan! The fans boo but Dutch joins in. Dutch then tags Vinnie, The Righteous gets Bryan up, AUTUMN SUNSHINE!! Cover, Cash breaks it!! But Archer SHOVES Cash out! Vinnie goes up, Archer runs in but Cash sends him into steps! Bryan trips Vinnie! Cash tags in, Bryan goes up! Cash goes to the adjacent corner! Bryan has Vinnie for the SUPERPLEX!! That’s the Power, Cash SPLASHES for the Glory! Cover, Dutch runs up! Cash moves, Dutch SPLASEHS Vinnie!

Cash fires off on Dutch, then runs to LARIAT! Archer BOOTS Cash! Archer hoists Cash up top, but Bryan’s back! BUSAIKU KNEE! But Dutch hits a SCRAPBUSTER! But Cash hits a TORNADO DDT! Vinnie has Cash for a roll-up! TWO!! Vinnie back suplexes but Cash lands out! Dax gives Cash a lift up and over, then Vinnie turns around into the SHATTER MACHINE!! Cover, Bryan & FTR win!

Winners: Bryan Danielson & FTR, by pinfall

Three-fourths of Team AEW made it work, and surely The Elite is not happy about this! But then The Righteous attack! Archer hits Bryan with an APRON CHOKE SLAM! This was never about the match but about the damage done! AUTUMN SUNSHINE for Dax!! Archer goes looking under the ring while The Righteous get Cash up. Vinnie finds a chair! Archer CHOKES Dax, Dutch JAMS Cash with the chair! That chair is set down, Archer uses another to JAM Dax again and again! The fans boo, but no back-up is coming with Eddie injured and Darby absent. Archer lifts Cash, for a FULL METAL BLACKOUT!!

Cash writhes on top of the steel, but the torture isn’t over! The chair is put on top of Dax and Vinnie goes up! FULL METAL SWANTON BOMB!! But here comes Daniel Garcia! He has a chair, too! Garcia JAMS Archer, DECKS Vinnie, then hits a SAIDO on Dutch!! Garcia runs up to clothesline Dutch up and out! The fans fire up as Garcia runs off Vinnie and Archer, too! But was the save a little too late with FTR suffering the worst of it? Are The Elite going to make sure there’s no one to even be on Team AEW?


My Thoughts:

A very good episode of Collision here, and of course more is set up for Double or Nothing. Very good promo from Moxley and Claudio, and Moxley VS Takeshita is made, but it will just be an IWGP World Heavyweight Championship  Eliminator, not a straight up title match. Maybe that means Takeshita wins so that he earns a title match for Forbidden Door, and then he loses there. Though, if that’s the case, Moxley must be getting past Evil at NJPW Dominion just a few weeks before Forbidden Door. Moxley’s great in the ring and all but I’m starting to agree with Shota Umino in his interview, where he said NJPW should not be some feeder to AEW.

Interesting for AEW to have Collision stationed in one spot for a six week stretch like that. Is this to make up for bad ratings/attendance for Collision? I mean, if they keep Collision interesting during that time, sure. Having something like tonight’s FTW Contender Series could help. I figured Hook would make it in, and same for Shibata. It seems the new attitude for The Iron Savages won’t count towards anything on AEW programming, Keith took Boulder out pretty easy. Hook VS Shibata VS Keith is going to be great stuff, and seeing as Jericho’s promo naturally called out Hook, there’s a good chance Hook wins. Though it’d be a great twist in the story if it wasn’t Hook or even Shibata but Keith getting his shot so that he can have another PPV title match under his belt.

Great stuff out of Ospreay VS Taylor, and I figured Ospreay would win. Great little brawl of him fighting off The Kingdom, though I was kinda hoping at least Kyle Fletcher would show up to connect the dots on Don Callis Family backing each other up. Great match of Cassidy VS Kassidy, even with Trent showing up ringside as a partial distraction. Great win for Cassidy, and Cassidy VS Trent is now made for Double or Nothing. That could go either way depending on how this courting of Cassidy goes for Don Callis, which also probably relates to how things go for Ospreay in that International Championship match. I still don’t want Cassidy to go Heel and I still don’t see Callis making a Face run work.

Very good promo from Pac to call out Bang Bang Gang, and wow I didn’t think Bang Bang Gang would get him so soon. Still unclear if this becomes a trios thing even though the Unified AEW & ROH World Trios Champions do need to defend those titles at some point. But even just Pac VS White 1v1 would be awesome stuff, would love to see it. Good promo from The Patriarchy, and of course Nick Wayne wins, even though this has also been his first singles match in months. He sure isn’t beating Swerve but that probably ends up just a set-up so the Patriarchy can beat Swerve down, keeping the go-home math in Swerve’s favor.

Very good match from Deeb VS Anna, and what an out of the box move for Storm to take Deeb’s banner and make it a dress. Still hard to say what happens at Double or Nothing, but the fans are still just so in love with Storm, it doesn’t feel like she’s losing the title. And great Six Man Tag main event, great win for Bryan & FTR but I should’ve figured there’d be a beatdown. Garcia making the save is great, and honestly it’s a little surprising he wasn’t “the fourth man” over Darby. Garcia has teamed with FTR before, there’s history with Bryan when Garcia was torn between Bryan and Jericho, something about that makes even more sense than Darby just not liking The Bucks & Jack Perry.

But at the same time, Anarchy in the Arena being No Disqualifications, Garcia can still get involved to help. In fact, many AEW wrestlers could get involved to turn this into AEW’s Avengers Civil War/Endgame whatever. Which would be a great way to top off the PPV that makes five years of AEW, honestly.

My Score: 8.7/10


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