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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (1/29/18)

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Elimination Chamber Qualifying, Last Man Standing Match: Kane VS Braun Strowman; Strowman wins and enters the Elimination Chamber Match.
  • Second Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: WOKEN Matt Hardy VS Elias; Elias wins and enters the Elimination Chamber Match.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz w/ The Miztourage VS Roman Reigns; Miz wins and retains the WWE IC Championship.
  • The Revival VS Heath Slater & Rhyno; The Revival wins.
  • Sasha Banks VS Asuka; Asuka wins.
  • WWE Raw Tag Team Championships: The Bar VS Titus Worldwide; The Bar wins and retains.
  • Third Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: John Cena VS Finn Balor; Cena wins and enters the Elimination Chamber Match.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Royal Rumble truly made history!

No one was ready for Asuka in the inaugural Women’s Rumble match, but not even Asuka was ready for the surprise appearance of one “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey! “Hot Rod” Ronda walked right up to the Queen, the Empress and the Goddess to let them and the world know that she was going to Wrestlemania, too. She set the world on fire and blew up the internet with a smile and a handshake, will she burn the house down at Wrestlemania 34? And against who?

 

The Raw Commissioner, Stephanie McMahon, heads to the ring.

The Billionaire Princess enjoyed the inaugural Women’s Rumble in person last night, and now welcomes Philly back. Last week was the celebration of #Raw25, and now we start a new 25 years! She commends Sasha Banks for lasting almost an hour, Nia Jax for proving she is an Irresistible Force, and every legend from Lita to Trish Stratus for making impressive appearances. Then “The Game changed” when THE Ronda Rousey appeared. But all that aside, Stephanie wants to celebrate THE winner, the undefeated Empress of Tomorrow, ASUKA!

Asuka walks out to the ring and the fans give her a huge ovation. Stephanie congratulates Asuka personally and would ask whether Asuka is facing the Raw or SmackDown Women’s Champion, but she must first inform us that there will now be an inaugural Women’s Elimination Chamber match! The fans like the sound of that. Stephanie lets Asuka enjoy her moment now. “Arigato, Stephanie. Arigato, WWE Universe!” Asuka uses her native Japanese to explain that she is the one and future champion! She points to the Wrestlemania sign, and everyone knows what that means. “At Wrestlemania, I will become the Champion! Because no one is ready for Asuka!” But now The Legit Boss, Sasha Banks, heads to the ring.

Sasha says hello and apologizes for the interruption. Last night was a dream come true as every woman made history and main evented again. Sasha was in the ring with 29 other great women, including Asuka, and congratulates Asuka for her win, too. But the part Sasha doesn’t like is that Asuka brags “no one is ready” for her. Sasha is ready, tonight! Stephanie keeps the peace and makes the match: The Boss VS The Empress! Which woman will be better prepared for the other?

 

Elimination Chamber Qualifying, Last Man Standing Match: Kane VS Braun Strowman!

Or rather, a Last Monster Standing as The Monster Among Men takes on the Big Red Machine. Strowman brings out all the props the moment he hits the ring, is he about to slay a demon!?

Raw returns to the match already underway! Strowman scoops Kane but Kane slips out to shove him into a post. Kane stalks Strowman around the ring then SMACKS him with a kendo stick. He rocks Strowman with an uppercut and now the behemoths move into the audience area. Strowman fights back and they slug it out near the extra special seating. The Monster brings the Machine over to the production area and bounces him off desks before he SMACKS Kane with a chair! They keep moving, and now they’ve come very close to the commentary area. Strowman takes a trunk and rams it into Kane’s head against barriers! Another chair comes into play and commentary already wants to get away. Kane is prone on the ground as Strowman jabs that chair into his ribs. Strowman considers his options, calculates the logistics, and makes a decision. HE DEADLIFTS THE COMMENTARY STAGE ONTO KANE!!

The Philly fans lose their minds, and this match is over already! Strowman victoriously walks onto the stage while referees and medics panic to save Kane. Strowman roars, Strowman leaves, is the Big Red Machine gone for good?

Staff manages to uncover Kane.

Somehow, someway, the legendary demon is not crushed into nothingness, but he needs a stretcher all the same. That’s when Strowman returns!! Corey Graves talks with him. “That’s a human being, what did you just do!?” “I did my job, Kurt Angle said ‘Last Man Standing’.” And Strowman is standing. The Monster enjoys watching the medics attend to Kane. Now that he is in the Elimination Chamber match, will anyone else stand a chance?

 

Kurt Angle encounters Braun Strowman backstage.

Do they really have to keep talking this over?! With the whole world watching, Strwoman continues to endanger everyone else! Can he give Angle just one break!? Strowman says Angle’s right. He’s right that Strowman didn’t do more! He won like he was supposed to! And now at Elimination Chamber, he’ll do it all again to be the last one left! Then Strowman promises to do the same to Lesnar at Wrestlemania!!

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.”

The Drifter is still in Philly and still plays his guitar. He once again asks, “Who wants to walk with Elias!?” Not that he cares what they think. Elias sings for himself, and to hear his own voice. Elias was disappointed to be eliminated in the Rumble by John Cean, but promises John will get what’s coming to him. We must look to the future, and that means the WWE Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania. And of course, WWE means “Walk With Elias!” In order to qualify, Elias must defeat The WOKEN One, who he has a song for. “On the Road ot Wrestlemania, got Brock Lesnar in my sight. It’s Elias’ night. After I win the Chamber, it’s Brock Lesnar who will be in danger. It’s Elias’ night.” The fans boo and jeer while Elias enters the chorus. But then “Ye-e-e-e-e-e-e-es~!”

Second Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: WOKEN Matt Hardy VS Elias!

The time has come to DELETE! Will the WOKEN WISDOM carry Hardy’s mortal vessel through to the Chamber’s contender opportunity?

Raw returns as the bell rings. The two circle, Elias powers Matt to a corner but Matt turns it around. They scrum in the corner and the ref counts, but Hardy lets up. Elias kicks but Hardy counters, and laughs! He shouts “DELETE!” at Elias, but Elias puts on the headlock and takeover. Hardy endures, gets to his feet and fights back but Elias holds on. Hardy gives more body shots and a back suplex to break free. He kicks Elias while he’s down and then goes after him in a corner, but Elias fights back while a new table is being constructed. Elias denies the Side Effect with elbows and Hardy staggers to a corner. Hardy evades and “DELETE” chops Elias over and over. Hardy brings Elias out and gives him a neckbreaker, cover, TWO! Elias endures a cravat hold from Hardy, and Hardy laughs and shouts “DELETE” the entire time. Elias fights back with body shots then knees. He chops Hardy back then whips him to ropes but Hardy kicks. Hardy goes for the Twist but Elias counters and then runs Hardy over with a lariat. Hardy staggers to a corner, Elias runs in and unloads strikes. The referee backs Elias back but Elias is enraged, he gives Hardy one more stiff stomp. The Drifter drags Hardy around and swings the arm into the post!

Hardy writhes in pain, Elias refreshes the count, then slams the arm into the post again. Elias returns into the ring and grins while we go to break.

Raw returns again to see Elias working over that arm while the announce table finishes assembly. The fans rally for Hardy, and Hardy slowly stands up. Hardy fights back, Elias throws Hardy to ropes but Hardy hits back. But then Elias yanks the beat up arm to slow him down. The two brawl back and forth, Hardy unleashes headbutts, then whips to back elbow Elias down. Russian leg sweep and cover, TWO! Hardy gives Elias “DELETE” buckle bumps!

He then hits the corner clotheslines, then another, but Elias powers out of the bulldog. Hardy elbows back and hops up for a flying ax handle. Side Effect! Cover, TWO! Just as Hardy calls for his Twist, Bray Wyatt makes his presence known. The Eater of Worlds is nowhere to be seen, Elias pounces with a boot and the Drift Away neckbreaker! Elias wins! Elias becomes the second of six men to qualify, can he make the others #DriftAway on this Road to Wrestlemania?

Bray Wyatt appears on the titantron.

He simply laughs at the failed WOKEN One. Will he have the last laugh at the end of the Great War?

 

The Miz speaks via social media.

“Roman Reigns is owed an Intercontinental Championship rematch?” Really? What about what The Miz is owed for being the one who brought back the prestige and honor to the title? He is owed rose petals when he walks and silence when he talks. On top of that, he is owed a standing ovation. Kinda like the one Brady will get when he defeats the Eagles. Super Bowl aside, can The Miz keep his title from ending up back in The Yard?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz w/ The Miztourage VS Roman Reigns!

While everyone else wants a shot at the Universal Championship, these two men know the legacy this championship holds. The A-Lister won the IC Title back only last week at #Raw25, can he hold onto it to the end of tonight?

The bell rings and the two circle. Miz rushes Roman, but runs right into an uppercut! Roman keeps The Miztourage back before rocking Miz with more right hands. Miz flounders to a corner but Roman is on him with headbutts. The Miztourage get close again but Roman scares them off before whipping Miz corner to corner. Roman runs in but Miz boots him away. Miz chops but Roman just absorbs it. Miz tries again, but still no effect. Roman rocks Miz with another right hand uppercut, Miz goes down! The Miztourage coach their leader up but Miz gets clothesline’d out of the ring! The Miztourage check on Miz but Roman slips out to the outside. Roman walks over and The Miztourage back off, and then Roman throws Miz into steel steps. The Miztourage bark at Roman but he backs them down again. Roman returns to The Miz and they both reenter the ring, only for Roman to clothesline Miz out again. The Miztourage return to check on Roman, and the referee begins a count. Roman slips outside again, but now the Miztourage gain some courage. So Roman grabs a chair!

Bo and Axel have less courage as he walks over, they run for the hills! Roman keeps his eyes on Miz now but he still has the chair in hand. He raises it, the referee stops him, this will disqualify him. Roman throws the chair away, then refreshes the count. Miz shoves Roman into a post! The champion has some control while we go to break.

Raw returns and Miz has Roman in a chinlock. The fans duel while Miz squeezes and stretches Roman. Roman wills his way to his feet, powers out and lifts Miz, but Miz wiggles and slips out. Miz grabs Roman in the full-nelson but Roman breaks it, to then Samoan Drop Miz! The two men are down but slowly stirring while the ref starts a ten count. They brawl on their knees then up to their feet. Miz throws haymakers from both sides with Philly’s support, but Roman blocks and lariats back! Roman rallies now, hitting the leaping lariat off the reversal. The Big Dog fires up and gives Miz all ten of the close-range clotheslines! Roman runs and boots Miz down, then gets to a corner while Philly gets loud both ways. He locks, loads and aims,… But Miz chop blocks the leg out! Roman goes down, clutching his knee, while Miz catches his breath. Miz starts up the “It Kicks!” He prepares the buzzsaw, Roman blocks and lifts! Miz sunset flips and into the Figure Four Leglock!

Roman flails and writhes from the pain in the knees! He reaches for ropes, but Miz slowly drags Roman away. Roman endures while the fans duel again. He gets his second wind, and Miz puts more pressure into it, but Roman manages to roll it over! Now Miz takes the pressure and has to endure! Miz reaches for ropes, and gets the break. The hold is undone and both men clutch their knees as they gain space. Roman and Miz stand up, but Miz kicks out the bad leg! Miz hobbles over and goes for it again, but Roman rolls him! Deadlift into the sit-out powerbomb!

TWO! Both men are down again, but Miz rolls his way to a corner. Miz goes after a turnbuckle pad, just like #Raw25! The referee catches him, then Roman storms over and goes after Miz. The referee pulls Roman away, Miz pokes Roman’s eyes, and hits the Skull-Crushing Finale! TWO!? The Miz cannot believe Roman survived! But he won’t stop there, he hobbles up and around while fans continue to duel. He drags Roman up for another try, but Roman powers him to a corner and throws in an elbow. Roman hobbles away but then runs into a post! Miz runs, SUPERMAN PUNCH! Cover, TWO! Both men catch their breath while the fans acknowledge “This is Awesome!” Miz and Roman crawl to opposite corners, but The Miztourage return! Axel distracts while Bo gets Miz out of the ring. Roman clobbers Axel, then sees Bo. He hobbles out and walks over to uppercut Bo down. Miz swings but msises, he gets an uppercut! Roman puts Miz back in the ring, but Miz exaggerates to distract the ref and Bo goes after Roman! Roman elbows Bo away, then throws him into the ring! SUPERMAN PUUNCH for Axel, SPEAR for Bo!

Roll up from behind, Miz steals the win! The A-Lister retains his title once and for all–with help, of course. Who will The Miz move on to now? And where does The Big Dog go from here?

 

Paul Heyman shares his thoughts on the Elimination Chamber announcement via Twitter.

 

The Revival VS Heath Slater & Rhyno!

The #TopGuys got even with the Good Brothers in the Rumble Kickoff show, and look to further reestablish themselves. Can they break the One Man Band and his ManBeast here tonight?

Raw returns to this match while in progress, Rhyno has a headlock on Dash Wilder. Dash powers out but Rhyno runs him over. Rhyno tags in Slater, the “Wild Man” hits a flying ax handle. Slater yanks on Dash’s arm again and again, and fans chant “E C Dub!” for Rhyno. Dash whips Slater but Slater fires out with a forearm, then a forearm smash in a corner. Dash escapes the ring and regroups with Scott Dawson to talk this through. Slater has the fans cheering “Heath’s Got Kids!” while The Revival flank him. Slater fights Dawson off but Dash comes from behind with an armbar DDT. Dash hammers away then tags Dawson to stomp away on that arm. Dawson gives Slater a hammerlock back suplex to further attack the arm. Rhyno rallies fans, Dawson drives in knees. Slater crawls but Dawson drags him over and tags in Dash. Dash gives a flying knee to the arm, then wrenches it with a keylock. The fans continue to chant “E C Dub!” for Rhyno and Slater, but Dash keeps Slater down with knees. Dash suplexes Slater but Slater lands on his feet to counter with a neckbreaker! Dash tags Dawson, Dawson denies Slater a tag, but only momentarily! Rhyno gets in and rallies on The Revival. He whips Dawson but Dawson reverses, Rhyno elbows him away before giving him a flying shoulder tackles! Rhyno rams in shoulders and then gives a belly2belly. Slater takes out Dash, but Dawson chop blocks Rhyno’s leg! Slater goes down, Dash tags in, Shatter Machine!

The Revival win!

In-ring interview for The Revival.

“We just defeated the first-ever SmackDown Tag Team Champions,” so perhaps, how do they compare to the legendary Graham Brothers? Charly isn’t familiar with them. That’s no surprise, because no one seems to care about the old days! Fans chant “E C Dub” trying to get themselves over. Unlike the fans, The Revival learn from the past instead of just leaving in it. Strong words and impressive wins, can these #TopGuys make their way towards the Raw Tag Team Championships?

 

The newest WWE Hall of Fame Inductees: The Dudley Boys!

Bubba Ray & D-Von ruled and revolutionized tag team wrestling from ECW to WCW to WWE and all around the world! Now they finally enter WWE’s HoF and truly immortalize themselves and Dudleyville!

 

Finn Balor speaks via Twitter.

The Extraordinary Man lasted an extraordinary 57 minutes in the Men’s Rumble this year. But John Cena was the one who ended his run. Now he’ll step up to the Face that Runs the Place and then step over him to get another chance. Can Balor Club dethrone CENAtion tonight?

 

Backstage interview with Sasha Banks.

From first woman in the Women’s Rumble to facing the Empress tonight, Ssaha is “moments away from defeating Asuka.” She’s waited for this opportunity for a long time. Asuka may have made history, but Sasha vows to do the same.

Sasha Banks VS Asuka!

The Legit Boss has all the confidence in the world, but does she have what it takes to give the Undefeated Empress her first loss?

The bell rings, and the two circle. They tie up, Sasha puts Asuka in a corner and gives her a shove with attitude. She then rolls Asuka, ONE, and Asuka gets a headlock on. Sasha fights out but Asuka runs her over. Asuka runs, rolls and hip-tosses Sasha but Sasha counters with an armlock. The fans have mixed reactions while Asuka gets up to her feet. Sasha powers her to a corner, then throws forearms and stomps. The Legit Boss backs off, then runs back in, but Asuka puts her on the apron. They trade blows but Asuka kicks Sasha between ropes. Asuka runs, hip attack sends Sasha down tot he ground. The referee starts a count on Sasha while Asuka catches her breath in the ring. The count reaches 5 before Sasha stirs. Sasha crawls up and in at 8, Asuka drives her hips into Sasha some more.

She threatens Sasha in Japanese before grinding a boot into her chin. The ref has Asuka back off now, but she comes back with kicks and a yank on the arm. Asuka puts Sasha in an armlock, but Sasha endures. Asuka makes it part Fujiwara and even bends the fingers. Sasha is grounded while fans enjoy Asuka enjoying herself. Sasha gets up and forearms Asuka, so Asuka hits back and whips her to a corner. Asuka walks into Sasha’s elbow, Sasha counters a kick with a knee, then double knees! Cover, TWO, but Sasha keeps her cool as she taunts. The Boss boasts while we go to break.

Raw returns and Asuka unloads her vicious kicks into Sasha. Sasha ends up in a corner but evades and turns Asuka sideways. Stock Drop knees! Cover, TWO, but Sasha comes back with stomps. She drives knees into Asuka’s back and bends her arms back in a half-surfboard. The fans slowly build to a rally for Asuka, but Sasha puts Asuka right into the mat as she pulls harder. Asuka refuses to quit, she gets back to her feet. Sasha throws Asuka down by her hair, then taunts her again. She drags Asuka up, snap suplex to cover, TWO. Sasha grows frustrated, but she keeps on Asuka with a snapmare and running slap! The fans boo and jeer, but Sasha keeps toying with Asuka. Asuka stands up and fires up with open hand strikes! She whips Sasha, tilt-o-whirl takedown into crossface! Asuka endures Sasha’s signature submission and makes it a cover, TWO! Asuka rolls into a backslide, TWO, crossface! Sasha pulls Asuka back but Asuka endures and again shifts her weight. Asuka gets to her feet but Sasha knees low. Sasha throws Asuka out, but Asuka lies in wait while Sasha runs. Sasha DIVES but gets kicked out of the air! The Boss crash lands onto the ground! Asuka drags her up and into the ring, but Sasha revives. The two brawl with elbows but Asuka gets the edge. She shoves Sasha, pop-up knee! Spinning backhand after backhand then the back heel kick! Asuka runs, Shining Wizard! Sasha gets to a corner, big hip attack from Asuka! Asuka won’t let up, she climbs up top! Big missile dropkick and cover, TWO!! Sasha survives hit after hit, but Asuka is not deterred. She lifts Sasha, Sasha rolls, TWO, takedown to the cross armbreaker! Sasha reaches, flails, rolls, TWO! Asuka stands up and runs while Sasha is on the apron, but now Sasha sends Asuka tumbling! Sasha takes am, and hits big double knees!

She drags Asuka up and in now, then climbs up top. SUPER Double Knees, TWO!! Sasha is at a loss for what to do! The fans cheer both women on, and they both stand up. Sasha blocks but Asuka counters, chickenwing but Sasha rams Asuka into buckles for the Back Stabber to Bank Statement crossface again!

Asuka reaches and crawls for ropes! Sasha denies the break and rolls Asuka, but Asuka adjusts for her Asuka Lock!! Now Sasha is trapped, body scissors on, she taps! Asuka wins and remains undefeated!! This instant classic is truly proof of the Women’s (R)Evolution!

 

John Cena speaks via Twitter.

Only the Rumble Winners know they’re going to Wrestlemania, so even Cena himself has to wonder, “How do I get to Wrestlemania?” He knows he can gain a spot in the Chamber, and then the Chamber will lead to Wrestlemania. Why is that important to Cena? Well because he wants to answer the question “When are you done?” with “I’m just getting started!”

 

WWE Raw Tag Team Championships: The Bar VS Titus Worldwide!

While the Swiss Cyborg & Celtic Gladiator won back the titles from The Architect & The Gold-Blooded Son, they did lose a couple times to The Real Deal and his top client. Can Titus & Apollo shock the world with a win here tonight?

The bell rings, the belts are raised, and we start with Sheamus and Crews. The two circle and Crews rolls up quick, TWO. Sheamus bails out and regroups with Cesaro to keep his cool. They don’t want to get flustered against the other team already. Sheamus clubs Crews and whips but Crews slips out to another roll up, TWO. Crews runs at Sheamus in a corner but Sheamus shoulders him away. Sheamus locks on a headlock but Crews powers out, only for Sheamus to run him over again. They speed up, Crews dropkicks Sheamus and covers, TWO. Crews brings Sheamus over and tags in Titus, they double whip and double elbow. “Worldwide~” boasts while Cesaro complains. Sheamus elbows Titus away, then gives him a European Uppercut. He clubs away on Titus, but then Titus uses his power to turn it around and unload on Sheamus. Titus chops and uppercuts, but Cesaro tags in. Cesaro goes after Titus and even talks trash before giving his own EuroUppers and body shots. The Swiss Cyborg gloats but the Gator carries him corner to corner! Titus unloads more chops, then throws Cesaro across the way! The fans fire up and bark along with Titus, big corner splash. Sheamus distracts, Titus backs him down, but then Cesaro runs at him. Sheamus tags in, Titus slams Cesaro but gets clobbered by the Gladiator. The Bar has control again while we go to break.

Raw returns and Titus pries his way out of a headlock to back suplex Cesaro down. Cesaro tags Sheamus, he blasts Crews away before running Titus over. Tag back to Cesaro, The Bar whip and Bar Lariat Titus down. Cover, ONE, but Cesaro keeps Titus down. The fans build to a rally, Titus stands up but Sheamus tags in. The Bar mugs Titus, then throws him out to the floor. Sheamus distracts the ref, Cesaro stalks Titus. Titus sees him coming and boots him down! Sheamus is shocked but he goes after Titus himself now. Titus rocks him with a right hand, then another. Titus gets the hat-trick then hotshots Sheamus back. Sheamus stands up while Titus reenters, and rock shim with a knee, only for Titus to respond with a big clothesline! The fans rally with Titus Worldwide. Hot tags to Crews and Cesaro, Crews rallies! Crews mule kicks then boots, Cesaro ends up in a corner. Cesaro puts Crews on the apron but Crews knocks him away before climbing up. Flying crossbody, TWO, standing moonsault landed on his feet. Cesaro whips Crews but Crews goes up and over and handsprings back for a big leaping lariat! The fans fire up with Crews, then standing shooting star hits!

TWO! Crews drags Ceasro up but Cesaro fights back. Cesaro escapes the trophy lift then tags Sheamus, double hip toss but Crews lands through. Crews comes back, pop-up to what may Crews have meant to been headscissors but it’d double-edged as Crews hits the ground hard. Cesaro drags Crews up, but Crews revives and throws Cesaro out. Sheamsu rolls up, TWO, enziguri from Crews! Standing moonsault once more, Cesaro breaks the cover! Titus returns and throws Cesaro back out, but then Sheamus boots him down. Cesaro tags in but Crews doesn’t know, flying crossbody, roll-through, TWO! Cesaro rams Crews into a post, then feeds to Sheamus, A-Swiss-ted White Noise! The Bar wins and retains in furiously fast action!

 

Third Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: John Cena VS Finn Balor!

Either The Face that Runs the Place or the Extraordinary man who does Extraordinary Things, only ONE will go to the Elimination Chamber match!

The bell rings and the two circle. Cena hears the “Too Sweet! Woop Woop!’ chants. They tie up, Cena powers Finn to a corner but Finn turns it around. Finn honors the break and grins as he backs off. The fans cheer for Balor, which Cena takes note of. They circle again and FInn gets the waistlock, but Cena powers out to a wristlock. Finn rolls but can’t get away, Cena puts him on the mat. Finn handsprings and arm-drags to an arm-lock on Cena. Cena stands up, fans duel again, but Cena pushes Finn to ropes. They both honor the break but Cena whips. Finn reverses and arm-drags Cena a couple more times, and returns to the arm-lock. The fans chant “Too Sweet! Woop Woop!” again. Cena gets up and lifts Finn, Finn slips out and runs but Cena runs him over. Cena puts Finn in a headlock and gets the takeover. Finn headscissors but Cena pops out and hits another takeover. Finn headscissors again and Cena pops out again for a third takeover. The fans duel again as Finn goes for a third headscissors. Cena blocks but Finn turns that to a ghost pin, TWO! Cena bails out and cools off while the fans fire up. He lets them know he hears them, then gets back in the ring. The two tie up again, and engage in a test of strength. They’re deadlocked but Cena eventually brings Finn to his knees. Cena glares at the booing fans but Finn gets to his feet! Finn spins around and rolls him up, TWO, Cena decks Balor with a right hand. The 16 time champion has control and Finn is dazed as we go to break.

Raw returns once again and Finn rallies but Cena runs him over again. Cena lifts Finn and slams him, then covers, TWO. Finn gets himself to a corner, Cena walks over and whips him corner to corner hard. Cena watches Finn as he slowly gets up. He whips Finn corner to corner again even harder! The fans boo and jeer and Cena plays dumb as to why. He brings Finn up again and whips him a third time, but Finn boots back now. Finn rallies with forearms on the run, then trips Cena up for double stomps! The fans fire up for Finn as he gives Cena a running chop. Then they go corner to corner but Cena fires out and rallies with his shoulder tackles. Spin-out bomb, and fans know what that means.

“You Can’t See Me,” but Finn evades the Five Knuckle. Finn says “You Can’t See ME”, then elbow-drop DDT!

TWO! Finn keeps focus, the fans are behind him as he drags Cena up. Cena counters with a fireman’s carry but Finn slips out. They brawl, haymaker after haymaker, with Philly on Finn’s side. Finn shifts to forearms and gets an edge but Cena shoves him and boots him down. Cena keeps Finn in place as he drops the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He picks Finn up, but Finn pops out to PELE! TWO! Finn keeps moving, Slingblade to Cena! Then he aims from the corner, and runs out, but into Cena’s clothesline! Philly boos and jeers again. Cena runs at Finn, Finn boots back, Finn goes for another, but Cena blocks to cradle Finn up and onto his shoulders, “Too Sweet” AA! TWO!! Cena is shocked!

The fans give back “Too Sweet! Woop Woop!” while Cena thinks on what to do. Cena makes his way out to the apron and lets the fans boo and jeer. He climbs up, but Finn kicks him down! Finn blasts him with the dropkick, then heads up top himself. He takes aim, COUP DE – No, Cena evaded, trips Finn, STF! Finn endures, flails, and crawls! He powers himself and gets to the ropes! Cena must let go, but the damage may have been done. Finn kicks him from the apron, then drags himself up top again. Cena revives, grabs Finn, and the fans freak out as they know what’s coming. SUPER AA!! Cena wins and moves on to Elimination Chamber! He has his ticket to Elimination Chamber, will Cena punch a ticket to Wrestlemania?

 

My Thoughts:

This was a damn good episode of Raw for following up the Rumble. Sasha logically carries over her animosity from the Women’s Rumble and heads right at Asuka, that was an incredible match the two had. Those spills Asuka and Sasha took were a bit scary, though, I almost thought Asuka was going to win by a referee’s stoppage. The Boss and Empress raise the stakes for what it takes to finally defeat Asuka even once. The Revival at least build themselves up and I continue to appreciate some of the things they say about how fans make it about themselves–see tonight’s off-camera Beach Ball Mania incident–when they should find a way to keep it about the talent. I don’t know when they’ll get tag title chances but they going up against The Bar could be a lot of fun even if neither side turns. Speaking of The Bar, they and Titus Worldwide have a great match themselves, and Crews looks like the way he did when he first arrived on Raw. The Bar wins out because there is meant to be a Raw Tag Team Championship rematch with Rollins & Jordan, but I sense the rematch will only serve to further divide the haphazard team. After that, then I wouldn’t mind seeing another chance for Titus & Apollo.

The episode also makes big inroads towards the next PPV with the Chamber qualifying matches. Braun Freaking Strowman opened tonight with the moment of the night by doing yet another thing I’d never even heard of: flipping the stage onto someone! Strowman in the Elimination Chamber is amazing in itself, he can do so much in such a structure. Social media and commentary did well to sell Kane’s side of things, but hearing the updates made me wish they would’ve done an Attitude Era style hospital scene so everyone could see Kane do the Deadman sit-up and then somehow “escape” the hospital. Elias gets quite the nod for being included in the Chamber match, and the Wyatt VS WOKEN angle continues in a somewhat logical way as Bray costs Hardy via the distraction. WWE is probably trying to build up the anticipation to when they finally present us with The Great War theatrical match, but they have to get going much faster with this or the anticipation will deflate into boredom. Then the main event was great, but even without “Cena Wins LOL”, it seemed inevitable Cena would win since Elias is in the Chamber match. Cena and Elias need to have their feud, since Elias is being the stand-in for Samoa Joe, but I just wish it wasn’t at Balor’s expense. Balor looks strong even in losing since it took the Super AA, but I’m not sure where he is going just yet. Roman VS Miz was a great match, but with Miz retaining, perhaps he and Finn can have a program with The Miztourage and Club at their sides.

My Score: 8.5/10


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Results & Report! (4/22/19)

Raw settles in after the 2019 Superstar Shake-Up!

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Raw is now Phenomenal AND Awesome! Both AJ Styles and The Miz moved from SmackDown, but what will they and the other new stars do next?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender Qualifier Triple Threat: AJ Styles VS Rey Mysterio VS Samoa Joe; Styles wins and advances to the main event.
  • Naomi VS Billie Kay w/ Peyton Royce; Naomi wins.
  • WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender Qualifier Triple Threat: The Miz VS Drew McIntyre VS Baron Corbin; Corbin wins and advances to the main event.
  • Cedric Alexander VS Cesaro; Cesaro wins.
  • The Viking Raiders VS Lucha House Party; No Contest.
  • Becky Lynch VS Alica Fox; Lynch wins.
  • Ricochet VS Robert Roode; Roode wins.
  • WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender’s Match: AJ Styles VS Baron Corbin; Styles wins and will challenge Seth Rollins for the title at Money in the Bank.

PLAY BY PLAY

Triple H returns to Raw!

The Game was victorious against The Animal in their No Holds Barred Wrestlemania match, and now he’s back as the COO! HHH gets Des Moines fired up as he picks up the mic. Because here comes Seth Rollins! Iowa’s own is here to #BurnItDown! Rollins stands with HHH in the ring and says, “This whole thing is too surreal for me, man.” To be standing in the ring, in his home state, after everything he and the fans have been through together, it’s unreal. HHH shakes hands with Rollins, and Rollins reviews how he was in the fight of his life at Wrestlemania. Rollins Slayed the Beast to bring the title home! Fans chant “Welcome Home!” to make it complete.

HHH agrees, Rollins walked in the Kingslayer and came out the certified BEASTSLAYER! Rollins did what he said when he stepped in the ring, stomped “bucket head” Brock Lesnar three times, then walked out THE WWE Universal Champion! And now Rollins stands in his home state (pause to hear the fans cheer again) but now with a new landscape. The Superstar Shake-Up changes everything. Rollins as Universal Champion and measuring stick has the whole world gunning for him. And Rollins knows that. Money in the Bank is coming, but if anyone knows a thing or two about that contract, it’s Rollins. He cashed it in and changed his career, but also had it cashed in on him. Rollins promises he won’t let Mr. MITB get the drop on him again.

HHH warns Rollins not to put the cart before the horse. Don’t worry about who wins that contract, be worried about who he defends against that same night. Did Heyman blow up HHH’s phone to get a rematch for Lesnar? No, surprisingly. Heyman hasn’t said a thing since Mania, and Lesnar must be licking his wounds. Then what’s next? That’s what tonight will determine! Because “the best of the best” are on Raw and will compete into two Triple Threats to then move on to a main event match. The winner of that goes on to Money in the Bank to face Rollins for the Universal Championship. Rollins likes the sound of that. But here comes one of those contenders, it’s Samoa Joe!

The current WWE United States Champion says “It seems I missed my invitation.” Joe reminds us that he does what he wants when he wants. And tonight, the champion has arrived! Joe admits, Becky Lynch came up with a real interesting concept of double champion. Joe has room for one more belt, “and that would be yours”, Rollins. But here comes another of the contenders, Rey Mysterio! The King of Lucha tells Joe that he’s not the only one wanting to make an impact. As for Rollins, Rey isn’t here just to drop knowledge. He’s here for a dream match. After tonight, at Money in the Bank, Rey VS Rollins. But yet another contender appears! It’s Drew McIntyre!

The Scottish Terminator makes himself clear. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks they deserve, McIntyre cleaned up Raw yet has had no title opportunities! This is DREW’S time! What was it HHH said? Rollins is the measuring stick here? The only reason Rollins is champion is because he got to Lesnar before McIntyre. Everyone knows what McIntyre is capable of. McIntyre promises to win his Triple Threat, go to MITB, beat Rollins and finally be Universal Champion! But now we get The Miz! The Hollywood A-Lister says that first and foremost, he’s back! And the more things change the more they stay the same, because Miz and Rollins are on the same brand and Rollins has something Miz wants. Miz has had a reboot thanks to the “Best in the World”.

This is not the same Miz as before, because he has seen the light. Miz can be a man worthy of the title. And what more must-see match for MITB than Rollins VS Miz?! But now we get Baron Corbin, who wants everything to stop right here. Corbin puts this in perspective for everyone: he is the most deserving of all to challenge Rollins. At Wrestlemania, Rollins slayed the beast, but Corbin retired a legend. McIntyre didn’t beat a gold medalist in his farewell match. Miz didn’t beat a gold medalist in his farewell match. Mysterio didn’t, either. But finally, here comes the Phenomenal One! He leaves the House that AJ Styles Built but looks just fine being on Raw.

And after hearing the fans cheer for him, Styles asks if Corbin ever shuts up. Because c’mon. Corbin’s face is almost as annoying as his voice. And speaking of annoying, it seems like everyone forgets Styles is Raw! Including Rollins. Styles promises to win his triple threat, then bet the other winner, and Raw will realize why SmackDown was the House that AJ Styles Built. But to that point, this is Raw, so Styles promises to give the fans what they’ve always wanted: Rollins VS Styles for the Universal Championship! HHH looks to Rollins, and Rollins sees what HHH meant. Everyone guns for the champ. Rollins is ready. It doesn’t matter who it is at MITB, because this is Seth Freakin’ Rollins, who will BURN IT DOWN! Mic drop from the champ, but who will make it through the special double header to be his contender?

 

WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender Qualifier Triple Threat: AJ Styles VS Rey Mysterio VS Samoa Joe!

A match worthy of any title, the Phenomenal, the King of Lucha and the Destroyer fight for just the first step towards Rollins and Money in the Bank. Who backs up their words with actions?

Raw returns with the bell and all three men circle. Joe quickly headbutts Mysterio then brawls with Styles. Joe knees low then kicks Styles while he’s down. Mysterio returns and enziguris Joe, but Styles hits Mysterio, too. Styles whips Mysterio corner to corner hard then goes back after Joe with a forearm. Mysterio boots Styles then uses Styles to alley-oop to huricanrana Joe out! Now Styles and Mysterio are alone as they circle. Fans duel for these fan favorites as they approach. Mysterio kicks away on Styles’ leg but Styles reverses the whip. Mysterio slides under but Styles gets him with a backbreaker! Styles catches his breath and aims at Joe from the apron. Sliding knee rocks Joe down!

Styles goes back to Mysterio and snap suplexes hard! He drags Mysterio up but Mysterio throws hands. Mysterio runs but into a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker! Cover, TWO! Styles keeps his cool as he drags Mysterio up again. He wants the Clash but Mysterio scrambles out. Styles pursues but has to hit Joe first. He gets Mysterio back in the ring and back up for the Clash, but Mysterio manages to get ropes. Styles powers him up but the bomb is countered to a spike-rana! Cover, but Joe breaks it! Joe kicks Styles to a corner then bumps Mysterio off buckles. Joe drags Styles up to whip and run Styles over with the elbow! He drags Mysterio up to throw those swift jabs, then whips and slides Mysterio out to the floor!

Joe goes back to Styles but Styles fights back. Styles whips but runs into the urenage! Cover, TWO! The WWE United States Champion has control while we go to break.

Raw returns and Mysterio fights back against Joe. Mysterio runs but Joe gets him for the powerslam! Cover but Styles breaks it! Styles hobbles over to Joe in the corner and brings him up. Styles fires off the Phenomenal Blitz but Joe tanks it to fire palm strikes. Joe spins, misses, and gets Styles’ PELE! Cover, but Mysterio breaks it! All three men are down but Mysterio and Styles go after each other. Mysterio CHOPS then kicks Styles, then whips. Styles reverses but Mysterio kicks him back. Mysterio runs and wheelbarrows for a bulldog! Mysterio sees Joe coming and trips him into the ropes! Fans fire up as Mysterio dials it up, but Joe bails out. So Mysterio springboards and corkscrews to take Joe down! Mysterio hurries up to a corner, climbs, but Styles stop shim.

Styles climbs up from the outside but Mysterio fights him off. Mysterio wants a superplex but Styles denies him. Joe hurries up and in, and gets both men for a SUPER DOUBLE BACK DROP! All three men are down but Des Moines are fired up! “This is Awesome!” but far from over. Joe crawls to cover Mysteiro, TWO. Joe crawls to cover Styles, TWO! He tries Styles again, TWO! Joe grows frustrated while we go to break.

Raw returns and Mysterio fights against Styles. Mysterio runs but Styles clobbers him! Joe clobbers Styles! Cover on Styles, TWO!! Joe drags Mysterio up and puts him on the top rope. Mysterio fights Joe off and hits the seated senton! Mysterio tilt-o-whirls for a Crucifix Driver! But Styles breaks the cover immediately! Styles drags Mysterio up and whips him, but Mysterio goes up and over to headscissor Styles out! Joe attacks Mysterio and scoops, but Mysterio spins around for a tornado DDT! All three men are down but Mysterio is up first. He clubs Joe on the ropes then dials it up! 619 misses, into the Coquina Clutch! PHENOMENAL- COQUINA! Joe has Styles now but Styles uses buckles to make a cover, TWO! Joe swings but gets another PELE!

Styles brings Mysterio up but Mysterio pops through to headscissor Styles on ropes! DIAL IT UP on JOE! Then springboard but Styles BOMBS Mysterio, onto Joe! Then Styles Clash on Mysterio onto Joe! Cover on Joe, Styles wins!!

Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall; advances to the main event

The main event is already Phenomenal as Styles advances! Who will meet him from the other Triple Threat later tonight?

 

Naomi VS Billie Kay w/ Peyton Royce!

Iowa loves to #BurnItDown with Rollins, but will they #FeelTheGlow as Naomi goes against one half of the IIconics?

Raw returns as the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions make their entrance. They say that what Naomi did last week can be summed up in a few words: “Thank you, next.” That song from that singer obsessed with them. Who is it? Trenta? Venti? Grande! Ariana, that is. This is why they’re the champions. Billie has Peyton’s back and Peyton has Billie’s. But who has Naomi’s? Bayley’s on SmackDown! Bayley said no to the glow! The IIconics laugh at their own joke, but they tell Naomi she’s living in the past if she thinks she can beat the future! And the future is… IICONIC! Strike the pose. The IIconics may say that now, but will Naomi show them what she can do solo?

The bell rings and Billie boots Naomi right down! She also throws Naomi around then covers, ONE! Billie keeps on Naomi with a grounded abdominal stretch. Billie claws Naomi’s face but the referee reprimands her. Naomi endures and fights her way up, only to get a knee. Naomi roundhouses back then lariats Billie down! She adds an elbow and a running jawbreaker, then a SLAP! Billie is furious but runs into Naomi’s headlock. Peyton gets up on the apron, Naomi gets both IIconics with the bulldog! Slingshot sunset flip, Naomi wins!

Winner: Naomi, by pinfall

The champions are furious! Naomi gets a win on one, but they point out this won’t change who the champs are. Will Naomi find yet another partner to help her challenge Billie & Peyton in the future?

 

WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender Qualifier Triple Threat: The Miz VS Drew McIntyre VS Baron Corbin!

The reformed A-Lister takes on a tall task in facing the Scottish Terminator and the Lone Wolf. Will we see Awesome VS Phenomenal? Or will see one man rebound from losing to The Shield on Easter Sunday?

Raw returns as McIntyre makes his entrance. Corbin already made his entrance over the commercial break, but we can assume he’s not Des Moines’ Favorite Son. The bell rings and Miz sees he’s between two towering opponents. Miz throws hands on McIntyre but Corbin whips. Miz boots back then rolls Corbin up, but McIntyre pries him off. McIntyre scoops but Miz roll shim up, TWO! Miz bails out, and wags his fingers “Not so fast.” McIntyre and Corbin work together and flank Miz. He gets back in the ring and then wrecks McIntyre with a dropkick! But Corbin wrecks Miz with an uppercut! Corbin and McIntyre stomp away, then mock the fans who boo. McIntyre drags Miz up and in, then stalks him. He brings Miz up for a CHOP and Corbin likes the sound of that. Corbin drags Miz up but Miz fires hands!

McIntyre clubs Miz and Corbin adds on. They work together to mug Miz with a running body shot. Corbin drags Miz up for McIntyre, but then he sucker punches McIntyre! Corbin goes back to Miz, the alliance over, and throws him out. He pursues after Miz and rams him into barriers! Corbin whips Miz but Miz reverses to send him into barriers! But then McIntyre clobbers Miz from behind! McIntyre puts Miz in and deadlift suplexes Miz up and over! Cover, TWO! Corbin returns but stops when McIntyre glares at him. Corbin tries to explain that whole sucker punch, but gets a boot! McIntyre drags Miz up and CHOPS Miz back down. Then he clubs him down, then tosses him to a corner. Miz hits back but Corbin returns. Miz sends him out but Corbin slides back in, to clothesline McIntyre! Roll up, TWO!

Corbin runs into a corner at Miz but gets post instead! Miz has the fans behind him as he looks at both opponents. Miz blocks and counter punches Corbin again and again! He fires off It Kicks in the corner! Then he gives McIntyre double knees! And then Corbin! A-List Lariat on McIntyre! Miz springboards for ax handles on both men! Fans fire up as Miz sees both men on their knees. MIz gives them both It Kicks! Miz swings the buzzsaw at McIntyre, but McIntyre ducks to let it hit Corbin! And then McIntyre gives Miz the Glasgow Kiss! But it rocks McIntyre, too, so he staggers back. McIntyre drags Miz up for a fireman’s carry and then puts him on the top rope. He CHOPS Miz then climbs up to join him.

Miz hits back but McIntyre clubs away. The brawl is fast and furious and McIntyre backs off! Miz adjusts, but Corbin is sent right into him! McIntyre climbs over Corbin to get to Miz again. McIntyre CHOPS Miz again, then fireman’s carry, but Corbin adds on! SUPER CELTIC CROSS POWERBOMB!! But no one can cover, and we go to break!

Raw returns and Corbin throws hands with McIntyre on the outside. Miz is in the ring but he’s climbing up top! The brawl is back and forth, fast and furious, but Miz LEAPS onto them both! Miz wipes them out but has to get one in the ring. He drags Corbin up to throw him into the timekeeper! Then he puts McIntyre int he ring only to run into an elbow. McIntyre gets through the boot to give Miz another elbow, then the Inverted Alabama Slam! Cover, TWO! Styles watches backstage as Miz survives. McIntyre fires himself up while he dares Miz to stand. Miz does stand, but he gets clear of the Claymore to get a Figure Four! McIntyre endures the hold, and then shoves the ref to poke Miz’s eyes! Miz lets go and McIntyre hobbles only to be sent out.

Miz works on getting vision back while Corbin stalks McIntyre. Corbin ditches McIntyre to go after Miz, DEEP SIX! Cover, TWO!! Corbin is furious with the referee but a two is two! He goes back out to hit Miz but runs into steel steps! Miz slides under McIntyre and rolls him up, TWO! BIG Spinebuster from McIntyre! Jackknife cover, TWO!! Miz still lives and McIntyre is even more furious. Fans chant for The Miz even as McIntyre looms over him. McIntyre drags Miz up for underhooks, but Miz slips out to kick low and DDT! Cover, TWO! Corbin returns and reels Miz in, END Of- No! Another low DDT! Cover, TWO!! Miz knows how close he was but he’s still so far!

All three men crawl, and McIntyre gets to a corner. Miz stalks Corbin but Corbin denies the Finale. Corbin runs but is clothesline’d out! Miz and McIntyre run, CLAYMORE!! but Corbin shoves McIntyre out, covers, and wins!!

Winner: Baron Corbin, by pinfall; advances to the main event

The Lone Wolf grins as he takes advantage of McIntyre’s work! It will be Styles VS Corbin in the #1 Contender’s Match, but who moves on to face The Architect?

 

Backstage interview with AJ Styles.

He was watching that match, so how does he feel about facing Corbin in the main event? Corbin’s big, but it’s about the size of the fight in the dog. Styles is a Georgia bulldog with a lot more fight in him than the Lone Wolf, the “former” United States Champion. Yes, Corbin won that, won Money in the Bank and beat Kurt Angle. But Styles is a former United States Champion, a former WWE World Champion, and the longest champion on SmackDown in history! Styles beat up John Cena! But this isn’t about accolades, this is about picking a fight with a big bully, and winning. Hopefully Rollins watches later tonight, because he’ll hear, “and the winner of this match, The Phenomenal AJ Styles!”

 

Sami Zayn is here!

The zany Underdog from the Underground makes his way to the ring to speak, after the break.

Raw returns and Sami says he’s doing something no other superstar has had the courage to do: tell the WWE Universe the truth about themselves. No one wants to hear stuff like that, so the fans just used denial and deflection, and create a false narrative about Sami. Somehow Sami is “bitter”? Sami squashes that by saying he’s the exact opposite. Sami is jubilant and happy! In fact, those ten months away from the fans was the happiest time of his life! If fans don’t believe him, Sami will show us how beautiful life is. Sami hiked in Switzerland, reconnected with nature, and wept at the beauty all around him. Then Sami relaxed on a beach in Mexico! He’s snuggled up in a hammock!

Sami then went to Scotland to see the castles. “Look at that face!” Sami’s all smiles! Has anyone ever seen such unbridled joy? Sami lived the good life. But his return approached, he suddenly felt depressed and anxious. A dark cloud was over his head, but why? What was it about the WWE that made him sick? The corporate structure? Or perhaps the other superstars who are “total egomaniacs” and delusional? No, that wasn’t it. Sami dug deep, deep down, and he found the root of the problem: THE FANS! The fans perpetuate and impose a toxic environment on the superstars! Fans boo and Sami criticizes them for that. Y’know why that feels good? Because it’s easier to pass blame than to hold yourselves accountable! But fine, it doesn’t matter, Sami makes the fans responsible. Sami holds the fans accountable!

Fans think they get away with this because of the mob mentality, but it won’t keep them safe from Sami! Sami would much rather be back in Norway, Iceland or Sweden or Switzerland or Mexico. Anywhere but depressing Des Moines! Fans definitely boo that. But if fans have a problem with that, take a page out of his book. Take a trip. “Doesn’t that sound nice?!” They can all go… TO HELL! Sami laughs and spins around his way out of the ring. Will Sami’s mission against the fans get him anywhere?

But Cedric Alexander makes his entrance! The Superstar Shake-Up moved him to Raw full-time, now it’s time to see if the Age of Alexander can be reborn!

Cedric Alexander VS Cesaro!

Raw gives a highlight reel of the Soul of 205 Live and his incredible run through the Cruiserweight Division. But now 205 Live’s Soul goes against the Swiss Cyborg, a last-minute Shake-Up from SmackDown! Will Cesaro end the Age of Alexander’s newest chapter before it even begins?

Raw returns as Cesaro makes his entrance. The bell rings and Cesaro circles with Alexander. They tie up and Cesaro powers Alexander to the corner hard! Cesaro dares Alexander to get up, and Alexander ties up with him. Cesaro gets the arm and wrenches, but Alexander rolls and handsprings to reverse. Alexander headlocks and goes for a takeover but Cesaro powers out! Alexander lands on his feet but gets rocked with a right! Cesaro throws a BIG European Uppercut, then a chop. Cesaro CHOPS again, then stomps Alexander. He whips corner to corner but Alexander goes up and over to handspring headscissor and dropkick Cesaro out! Alexander builds speed as fans fire up, but Cearo gets in. Aelxander slides under and tries to scoop, but Cesaro gets out to scoop slam Alexander! Cesaro drops an elbow, covers, TWO!

Cesaro keeps on Alexander with a chinlock, then shifts to a cobra clutch. Fans rally up as Alexander endures. Alexander fights up and fights out but Cesaro shoves him. Cesaro runs into a boot, but catches Alexander for a backbreaker! Cover, TWO! Alexander clutches his back but he survives. Cesaro sits Aleander up for a running forearm! Cesaro keeps on Alexander with another chinlock. Alexander fights as fans rally again. Alexander gets up and fights with body shots. He throws forearms then runs, but Cesaro BOOTS him down! Cover, TWO! Cesaro keeps his cool as he stomps Alexander’s arm. Cesaro gut wrenches Alexander for a suplex! Cover, TWO! Alexander gasps for air while clutching his back, but Cesaro looms over him.

Cesaro stomps Alexander’s hand then reels him into another chinlock. Cesaro puts his weight on Alexander but Alexander keeps getting up. Alexander fights but Cesaro whips, only for Alexander to sunset flip. Cesaro stays up, then drags Alexander up for a lift. Alexander sunset flips again, TWO! Alexander CHOPS and punches Cesaro, then throws forearms. Cesaro shoves but Alexander blocks the boot to elbow! Alexander dropkicks the legs out then dropkicks Cesaro in the head! Fans fire up with Alexander as he knips up! Alexander runs in but is put on the apron. He boots Cesaro away then springboards in, but Cesaro overpowers the complete shot! Cesaro suplexes but Alexander slips out, and scoops to a Michinoku Driver! Cover, TWO!

Alexander brings Cesaro up but Cesaro EuroUppers, only for Alexander to backslide. Cesaro powers out, but Alexander dodges to handspring, NEURALIZER! Cesaro tumbles out and Alexander builds speed again, to FLY! Direct hit wipes Cesaro out! Alexander puts him back in the ring then aims from the corner. Springboard, EUROUPPER! Cover, Cesaro wins!

Winner: Cesaro, by pinfall

The Swiss Cyborg was just too much for Alexander’s first Raw opponent! Will Cesaro head for a title match of his own in the near future? What will it take for the Soul of 205 Live to revive himself now that he’s in the big leagues?

 

Backstage interview with The Usos!

Jimmy & Jey are ready to be on Raw. SmackDown was #LockDown, now Raw gonna be Uso Lit! Who is here? Lucha House Party! Party over! The Viking Raiders! Who? Those bearded brothers from Braveheart. FREEDOM~! The Major Brothers, Hawkins & Ryder. Those guys like toys, but here come the #TopGuys. The Revival see the Usos. Good hands in the tag team division, perhaps SmackDown’s greatest. But this is Raw, this is their territory. So the Usos aren’t locking down- Hey, wake up! Oh, sorry, they had a crazy dream about two guys talking about beating the Usos? Usos bring the Penitentiary with them, will Dash & Dawson be the first two put away?

 

The Viking Raiders VS Lucha House Party!

Erik & Ivar gave the WWE Universe quite the experience, but now Rowe & Hanson- Er, Erik & Ivar prepare for war! Will the fiesta survive the raid?

Raw returns as the LHP make their entrance. But the Vikings attack! They wreck Kalisto then dump down Gran Metalik. They attack Lince Dorado with big knees! Metalik returns bot Erik catches him. Ivar brings Kalisto over for Erik to have on his shoulders, for a powerbomb-powerslam combo! This isn’t even a match but the Vikings keep going. They grab Lince, and feed him to Thor’s Hammer! The Vikings leave the luchadors down and out, who else will suffer a brutal Viking Experience?

No Contest

 

Backstage interview with Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder.

The Raw Tag Team Champions just saw what happened to Lucha House Party, are they concerned? Hawkins isn’t sure what to say. We all saw the same thing! Those guys went berserk! They’re big, strong, agile but Ryder says they’re still new. The Major Brothers have been here for over a decade and are still here. They earned these titles, so they’re not letting these “smelly, horny, woolly mammoths” just take them away. But will they really have a say in it when the Viking Raiders come for gold?

 

Becky Lynch VS Alicia Fox!

The Man is the Champ-Champ, and she’s going strong towards her match with The Sassy Southern Belle at Money in the Bank. Will she stay strong against Ms. Crazy Like a Fox?

Raw returns and Becky Two Belts hears the fans chant for her. She then speaks, “There’s something in the air tonight in Iowa.” Becky sensed it backstage and in the locker room. It’s the Superstar Shake-Up. That time of the year where new challengers emerge. Becky didn’t have to wait long, she saw Lacey Evans win that shot. “The woman who likes to sucker punch The Man.” Becky doesn’t mind a good sucker punch, because she’s thrown her own here and there. It’s not the punching, it’s the woman behind them. Becky has made a career of slapping bleached blondes currying favors. Lacey is just the new take on an old approach. While Lacey is “furthering her career”, Becky will cement hers with a fight! But before Alicia can appear, Lacey does!

Lacey struts down the ramp and says Becky always wanting to fight, she can’t understand it. How can Becky let her emotions get the better of her? Is it because she’s Irish? Or like a man, she wants to be the center of attention? Lacey will educate Becky. Lesson 1: a lady is in complete control of her emotions. Lesson 2: a lady is not a show-off. And lesson 3, the most important of all: a man respects a lady. Lacey will teacher Becky that with her Woman’s Right, and then she’ll take both belts to put around her waist. Becky wants Lacey to back up. After everything Becky’s been through, she was just trying to enjoy herself. But “you absolute plank” is on her last nerve. Lacey talks about Irish emotions, those emotions wanna slap Lacey’s head off her shoulders!

Lacey may be new around here, but do not confuse happiness for content. Becky will go to MITB and dismantle Lacey because she can. And then The Man will collect on her debts. But now, Alicia does make her entrance, and we can begin this match!

The bell rings and Des Moines cheers Becky on again. Becky and Alicia circle and tie up, and Becky gets a headlock. She throws Alicia with a takedown but Alicia gets up. Alicia fights out and puts a headlock of her own. Becky powers out but Alicia runs her over with a shoulder. Cover, but Becky slips out and has a little fun. Things speed up and Becky deflects the dropkick to back kick Alicia to the corner. Alicia gets out but Becky wants at her. Becky dares Alicia to get in and fans rally up. Alicia draws near and Becky wrecks her with a baseball slide! Becky bumps Alicia on the apron then throws forearms. Becky brings Alicia around to bump off more apron, but then Alicia rams Becky into barriers!

The ring count hits 8! Alicia drags Becky up and in at 9, then slithers to a cover. TWO, but Becky is in trouble while we go to break.

Raw returns and Becky has Alicia in a corner. She brings Alicia out to whip but Alicia kicks back. Alicia boots Becky down then covers, TWO! Alicia tries again, ONE! She keeps Becky down in a chinlock, but fans rally up. Becky feeds off the energy and gets up to fight out. She throws EuroUppers but Alicia shoves to tilt-o-whirl. Becky headscissors through but Alicia denies the Disarm-Her. Alicia throws Becky to the apron then catches her breath. Becky crawls around the way but Alicia finds her. Alicia brings Becky up but Becky throws Alicia into barriers! Becky puts Alicia in but Alicia hits her back. Becky elbows from the corner then hops up for flying forearms. Fans fire up as Becky throws Alicia with a Becksploder! And then another!

But Becky’s far from done with Alicia as she runs in. Alicia rolls her up, TWO! Becky gets the Disarm-her! Alicia taps, but Lacey appears to throw her Woman’s Right!!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by submission

The Sassy Southern sucker punch gets the better of Becky again! Lacey brushes herself off and puts her hat back on, to hit Becky with another Woman’s Right! Will Lacey be adding a belt to her ensemble after Money in the Bank?

 

Backstage interview with Baron Corbin.

The Lone Wolf warms up for Styles. He’s already defied expectations, but if he does it again, he’ll not only earn a title shot, but he’ll have a chance to settle things with the man who was a thorn in his side during his GM days. Where is Charly getting these interview techniques? The same school that Kim Kardashian got her law degree? And who’s expectations did he defy? Those “grease balls” sitting at home in their basements on the computer? Those people didn’t think he’d beat Kurt Angle, either. The only thing better than proving “those idiots” wrong is getting revenge on Rollins. So he’s looking past Styles? No, he’s looking straight through him! But will Corbin even get through Styles to go to Money in the Bank?

 

Ricochet VS Robert Roode!

The One and Only is now on his own after more of the Superstar Shake-Up moves happened. Will he be able to overcome the slightly renamed GLORIOUS One after the break?

Raw returns as Roode makes his GLORIOUS entrance. And Bobby is now Robert, complete with a mostly shaven look. Roode explained in a WWE.com exclusive interview that with this Shake-Up, he’s been able to drop 150 pounds of dead weight named Chad Gable. But Ricochet is just as young, talented and also lacking that something special. That same something special is what Roode has to be GLORIOUS, but will his new name and new look really help give him a fresh start?

The bell rings and Roode circles with Ricochet. Roode and Ricochet tie up and Roode powers Ricochet to the corner. Ricochet turns it around but backs off at the ref’s count. Roode kicks low then throws hands on Ricochet in a corner. Ricochet punches back and backs Roode down. Roode headlocks but Ricochet powers out. Things speed up and Roode gets the headlock back. Ricochet endures then fights his way out. Roode knees low then stalks Ricochet. He CHOPS Ricochet to ropes then whips. Ricochet rolls off Roode’s back then rolls under to handspring headscissor and dropkick Roode down! Roode wants a timeout at the ropes but Ricochet dares him to come back. Ricochet walks over but is sent to the apron. He shoulders back in then dumps Roode out!

Fans fire up as Ricochet builds speed to fake Roode out! Roode swipes but misses, and gets the moonsault! The King of Flight is fired up while we go to break!

Raw returns and Roode has Ricochet in a chinlock. Ricochet fights his way up but Roode wrangles him back down. Roode grinds Ricochet down but fans rally up. Ricochet endures as Roode squeezes tighter. Ricochet feeds off the energy and fights out of the hold. He runs but into Roode’s knee! Roode drags Ricochet up to whip and knee again. He kicks away then suplexes Ricochet up and over! Cover, TWO! Roode grows frustrated but he keeps on Ricochet. He drags Ricochet into a half camel clutch but he also fish hooks Ricochet’s face. He lets go at 4 but then goes back to the camel clutch. Roode sits deep on it but fans rally. Ricochet powers his way up but Roode knocks him back down. Roode drags Ricochet up to whip him to a corner. Ricochet boots Roode away, then somersault shotgun dropkicks!

Both men are down but Ricochet slowly stands. Roode slowly follows and they start throwing hands. Ricochet dodges and runs to rally with forearms! Ricochet headscissors Roode to a corner, then goes corner to corner for a shoulder tackle. He slips out to the apron and bumps Roode on buckles, then kicks the buckle to snap Roode back. Ricochet aims and springboards for a leaping lariat! Standing Shooting Star! Cover, TWO!! Roode survives but Ricochet keeps his cool. Ricochet drags Roode up and to a fireman’s carry but Roode fights out. Roode waistlocks but Ricochet fights out. Ricochet grabs at Roode but Roode elbows back. Roode runs but Ricochet rolls him, TWO! Ricochet leaps into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!!

Roode grows frustrated but he has one more move to try. He winds it up… GLORIOUS! Ricochet stands but denies the DDT to reel Roode in, TKO knee! Cover, TWO!! Ricochet drags Roode to a drop zone and climbs up top! He goes for the 450 but has to land on his feet as Roode dodges. Roode rams Ricochet into buckles! GLORIOUS DDT!! Cover, Roode wins!!

Winner: Robert Roode, by pinfall

The GLORIOUS Reinvention is successful! Roode revitalizes himself with the name change, but will this lead him to putting that new name on a title belt? Can Ricochet rebound and get on track as a singles competitor in his own right?

 

Welcome to Firefly Fun House~!

Who is that in the red sweater? Iiiiiit’s BRAY~! Brat Wyatt has missed us. But he knew we’d all be back together some day. He saw it in his dreams. Bray Wyatt promises we’ll all have fun. All the fireflies will feel safe here. And he can’t wait to show us what he’s learned. Tada~! Here are his very special friends! Mercy the Buzzard! Pammy the Witch! “You are going to love them.” Now, Bray admits he used to be a very bad man. Boo~! Yes, he deserves that. But Bray has been punished for that, so that part of him is dead.

However, he has a reminder so that he won’t ever go back to being that “pathetic slob loser.” Bray shows a cardboard cut-out of himself, and CUTS IT UP! YAY~! The fun is just getting started. So remember, fireflies: Bray will light the way, all you ahve to do is let him in. See you next week!

Wat?

 

WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender’s Match: AJ Styles VS Baron Corbin!

The Phenomenal One and the Lone Wolf made it through four other incredible superstars to make it to this match. But now, who will show they’ve still got more in the tank to punch their ticket to Money in the Bank?

Raw returns as Corbin makes his entrance. And this time, we do have to hear Mike Rome list Corbin’s accolades. But again, the former Raw General Manager, Golden Gloves boxing champion, United States Champion and Mr. Money in the Bank is NOT Des Moines’ Favorite Son. Corbin accepts that, and the bell rings so we can begin this major main event!

Corbin circles with Styles but obviously the fans are on Styles’ side. Styles and Corbin approach and Corbin talks trash. Styles gets Corbin with a right hand! Corbin comes back but gets CHOPS. Styles shows Corbin he’s just fine and then kicks away on Corbin’s leg. Corbin rocks Styles back with a right, then drags Styles up. Styles slips out and dropkicks Corbin away. Styles throws more hands against the ropes but backs off at the ref’s count. Corbin gets back up to knee Styles low. Corbin throws Styles out but Styles is on the apron. Styles shoulders in then slingshots but into a big right! Styles goes down and Corbin stomps away. Corbin whips Styles corner to corner hard and Styles goes down again. Corbin looms over Styles but fans still rally up. He stands Styles up to punch him back down.

Corbin sits Styles up to punch him back down again and again. He drags Styles up but Styles throws hands back! Styles runs and clotheslines Corbin out! Styles slingshots but lands on the apron when Corbin gets clear. Corbin trips Styles and Styles falls on the apron hard! Corbin whips Styles into the timekeeper area, but Styles roundhouses back! Fans fire up as Styles uses the barriers. But Corbin catches him to drop him on the barriers! The Lone Wolf has the advantage while we go to one more break!

Raw returns again and Corbin has Styles down in a half nelson. Corbin leans on Styles but Styles fights his way up. Styles fights out as fans rally, but Corbin throws another right. Corbin lifts and tosses Styles with a spin! Cover, TWO! Corbin grows frustrated but he still stalks Styles to a corner. He drags Styles up and puts him on the top rope. Corbin climbs but Styles fights back. Corbin rocks Styles again, then wants a superplex, but Styles slips out to trip Corbin up! Styles gets up and throws kicks into Corbin’s leg. Fans rally as Styles kicks Corbin off his feet. Styles wants the leg but Corbin shoves him away. Styles comes back with a sliding forearm! He clotheslines Corbin in the corner then goes for a fireman’s carry. But Corbin slips out, only for Styles to give him the Phenomenal Blitz!

Corbin grabs Styles and glares at him, for the choke slam. Styles wheelbarrows to a victory roll, TWO! Corbin swings but Styles dodges to climb around for a sunset flip. But into the Clash! But Corbin is too tall and he kicks Styles away. Both men are down but crawling. Corbin stands in a corner but Styles dodges. Corbin slides out then in but gets the PELE! Styles keeps moving, but gets a DEEP SIX! Cover, TWO!! Styles still lives and Corbin can’t believe it. Corbin crawls to ropes while Styles goes the other way. Corbin runs at Styles in the corner for a big clothesline! And then another! Corbin reels Styles in but Styles rolls him for the CALF CRUSHER! Styles pulls back hard but Corbin slams Styles’ head on the mat! Corbin is free but the damage is done.

Corbin crawls to a corner and drags himself back up. Styles runs in but Corbin boots him. Corbin puts Styles on the ropes then hops up, and leaps! Styles dodges and Corbin hotshots himself! Styles takes aim and springboards, Phenomenal Forearm! Cover, Styles wins!

Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall; NEW #1 contender to the WWE Universal Championship

The Phenomenal One is victorious after a night of incredible action! Now he heads to Money in the Bank to take on The Architect! And speaking of, Seth Rollins comes out to meet his challenger! Rollins offers a handshake, and Styles accepts it! These two respect each other, but will that change with a month left to go?

 


 

My Thoughts:


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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(NOAH) WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.31~ 21ST APRIL 2019

With the Global Tag League in full effect, Hisame brings us those weekly NOAH updates! Read up on one of the best Japanese promotions that tends to fly under the radar!

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With the Global Tag League in full effect, Hisame brings us those weekly NOAH updates! Read up on one of the best Japanese promotions that tends to fly under the radar!

CURRENT TOUR RECAP
NOAH’s first show back on the mainland was held on a midweek night, and while the attendance was not good (819), the show was intense and the fans that did not go were lamenting that they were prevented from going due to it being a midweek night, and therefore, a work night.

Due to Quiet Storm sustaining a concussion after receiving a kick to the head from Kenoh in Sapporo, NOAH have changed their cards (no date has been given for a return of either himself or Kimya Okada yet), and 50 Funky Powers have so far been deducted four points, as per the rules of Global Tag League which counts a team being unable to compete as an automatic loss and a win for the other team (hence the reason why The Tough have two points), and Rocky Kawamura was drafted in to compete at Korakuen Hall. His gimmick is Rocky (the character from the films), and Mohammed

Yone took his name from Mohammed Ali, so you had two boxing fans together.

Yone laughed afterwards and said that he himself might try coming to the ring in boxing gloves.

True to his word, NOSAWA Rongai bought a “friend” to Korakuen Hall.

The “friend” turned out to be Hideki Suzuki who had a match in 2018 in NOAH against Naomichi Marufuji and Atsushi Kotoge (he teamed with Jay Bradley), but wasn’t seen at all again until 2019.

Suzuki got in the ring and asked for a tag match against Marufuji (Suzuki will team with NOSAWA), as he was at ringside (and all of the heavyweights are tied up in Global Tag League), Marufuji, after telling Suzuki that he should build his own gang, said “lets just have a match” and nominated Junta Miyawaki to be his partner. Miyawaki told NOSAWA that he was going to get the victory over him.

Match has been set for the last night of Global Tag League on May 4th.

When asked why he was here, Hideki said he was “job hunting” and hadn’t been employed since the beginning of the year. He later admitted that he was here for himself.

As if the Korakuen Hall crowd weren’t wound up enough, there was a HUGE upset for AXIZ when Masao Inoue (whom the crowd had been cheering on), got the sneak win over Katsuhiko Nakajima.

After the match, Inoue and Saito went to imitate AXIZ’S pose, but at the last moment Saito walked away leaving Inoue to crash to the floor.

The crowd laughed.

Saito laughed louder.

Nakajima, however, didn’t find anything amusing and said that Masao Inoue has borrowed something big, and he will be coming to take it back.

Whatever it is that is going on between Stinger and Daisuke Harada took another turn at Korakuen Hall.

Yoshinari Ogawa offered his hand to Daisuke Harada again, and Harada went to take it, but Tadasuke objected. Harada shoved him aside, and Tadasuke fell against the ropes with a look of surprise. Ogawa tried again, but this time YO-HEY came between them. After that, Harada looked at his hand and just left the ring.

AXIZ were not the only team to have a bad night at Korakuen Hall, their rivals in KAIOH did too.

Takashi Sugiura (complete with stitches after the headbutts from Atsushi Kotoge in Sapporo) stood still and staring at his two former protegees as they entered the ring.

They probably knew that it was a very very bad sign. This match was not about “The Sugiura Army” beating KAIOH, this was about Takashi Sugiura beating down two upstarts, and although they put him through hell, he prevailed with the headlock choke on Kaito Kiyomiya. After the match he got on the microphone and told Kiyomiya that he wouldn’t push the issue now as it was Global Tag League, but he wanted Kiyomiya to remember, that he would be coming for the title.

NOAH held their next event on Sunday 21st April at a new venue (which had been a former fish market) in springtime Niigata. Attendance was a full house of 865.

Naturally, being an event by the Shinano River, a fight went outside and to the riverside, and Marufuji almost threw YO-HEY in. Tadasuke thought it would have been funny, but YO-HEY said that the next time NOAH come to the venue, he is going to bring goggles and a flotation device for Marufuji.

Marufuji’s response was basically, “bring them for yourself”.

Fact is, that if NOAH go back there in the summer or autumn, someone will most likely go in (probably Kotoge in his cape).

Daisuke Harada made the first defense ever of the IPW Junior Heavyweight title against Hitoshi Kumano. While I don’t have too much details on the match itself, one fan did liken it to a fight that one of the Four Pillars would have put on. It was that intense.

Harada said that he wants his next challenger to be British, and said it would be interesting to see if anyone came over to NOAH. He also said that with Global Junior Tag League starting, he was equally interested to see if a team would enter.

When asked about the handshake with Ogawa, Harada walked away.

Yoshinari Ogawa had said that you could see how the situation was developing, as Kotaro Suzuki added, “If the leader’s heart is swayed, then the team is over”

Kaioh were almost beaten in Global Tag League by The Inferno. That was until Kiyomiya changed the tide of the match, and got the pin via the Tiger Suplex on Maybach Taniguchi.

So far Kenoh has not managed to get a single win at Global Tag League. Once the league is over, and especially if Kaioh do not win the titles, then his resentment is going to erupt.

As of the time of writing, The Sugiura Army lead the scoreboard with eight points.


EVENT RECAPS
April 17th – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo
April 21st – Mandaijima Multipurpose, Niigata

Post match promos – April 13th, Mars Gym, Sapporo
Post match promos – April 14th, Mars Gym, Sapporo
Post match promos – April 17th, Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

NEWS
Fortune Dream6 & “TAKAYAMANIA EMPIRE 2”
On the 17th April at Korakuen Hall, Kenta Kobashi announced that Fortune Dream6 would return on June 10th. NOAH participation was announced as Go Shiozaki and Yoshiki Inamura vs Yuji Okabayashi & Kazusada Higuchi. Addtionally, Masa Kitamiya will team with Yuya Aoki against  Shoki Kitamura & Towa Iwasaki.

Yoshihiro Takayama has announced via his official blog, that “TAKAYAMANIA EMPIRE 2” will be held on Monday, August 26 2019 at Korakuen Hall.
Card to be announced.

Although Takayama cannot be at the show (although he wants to find a way to be there), there is good news on the horizon as he says that his condition is improving gradually and he can now feel the soles of his feet.

CURRENT CHAMPIONS


TOUR TIDBITS
~ Although he cannot wrestle due to concussion, Kinya Okada has been seen at ringside doing his usual duties. Poor boy looks sad, like he did when he was unable to debut due to injury.
~ Minoru Tanaka was hungover at the Niigata event. Said he hoped it would help his hangover. It didn’t.
~ Each time Atsushi Kotoge went to do the “Revolutionary Hero” pose, Marufuji smacked his arm down (Yoshiki Inamura in Niigata was a little more game)
~ Takashi Sugiura said there are to be no further entries into the “Sugiura Army”, he also doesn’t like NOSAWA being put at the center of the group in the official photographs for the new “Sugiura Army” t-shirts.
~ I don’t want to know exactly what a “YO-HEY Teriyaki McBurger” is
~ Takashi Sugiura’s most infamous dog video this week was him on his lap, and chewing the cord of his tracksuit pants.


BROADCASTS
The 4th May Global Tag League finals will be broadcast at 10pm JST on Samurai TV
The 28th May show will be broadcast live at 6.30pm JST on G+ (its the first night of Global Tag League)


LINKS
King Shame, Takashi Sugiura on becoming the core of the new born Noah

PICTURE CREDITS: NOAH GHC, PKDX, Daisuke Harada


Let us know what you think on social media @theCHAIRSHOTcom and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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