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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Report! (5/22/18)

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Big Cass is hurt again, so that gives opportunity to Jeff Hardy and Daniel Bryan! The Enigma and The Goat will compete tonight to determine who faces Samoa Joe on next week’s SmackDown, and then the winner of THAT match qualifies for Money in the Bank! Plus, two more “Ravishing” and “IIconic” Women’s MITB qualifiers!

 

All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Miz VS Big E w/ The New Day; Miz wins.
  • Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Lana VS Billie Kay w/ Peyton Royce; Lana wins and qualifies for the Women’s MITB Ladder Match.
  • Andrade “Cien” Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS ???; Almas wins.
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Match: The Usos VS The Club; The Club wins and face The Bludgeon Brothers for the titles at MITB.
  • Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Naomi VS Sonya Deville; Naomi wins and qualifies for the Women’s MITB Ladder Match.
  • Daniel Bryan VS Jeff Hardy; Bryan wins and will face Samoa Joe in a Men’s MITB Qualifying Match next week.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Miz opens SmackDown with Miz TV!

The Most Must-See WWE Talk Show is back and has two big exclusives. First, something so huge that people have been talking about “When is it going to happen?!” Miz has a date: July 24th, 2018, Miz & Mrs. debuts on USA! Fans actually like the sound of that. And second, the guests that will reveal what we all want to know. Awwwwww, Worcester~! It’s the New Day!

Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston & Big E come out with Booty O’s and pancakes. They won a tag team match to enter just one of them into the Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match, but haven’t named who. They’re happy to be on Miz TV, but are neutral about Miz & Mrs. Well they don’t know good television. Miz gets to the point: Who is going into the MITB match? Who who who?

Miz walked into that one. Which one? Which which which? Be serious! Sorry, sorry. On the count of three: “It’s gonna be me~!” N Sync? Okay, together they’ve accomplished so much, but Miz says they haven’t reached their full potential. They all hold each other back. Fans disagree. Woods says that’s what’s different between “ya boys” and Miz Hokage. Miz has his show, his movie franchise, his championship accomplishments, and main evented a Wrestlemania! Miz is a living legend. But what people don’t like about him is that throughout his career, life and relationship, he always puts Miz first.

No, the real difference is that Miz has been WWE Champion. What about them? Kofi is every other champion but WWE Champion. Though, he’s been in six and hasn’t won one, so maybe someone else should be given a chance. Big E has size, charisma, and the “It Factor.” Big E shows fire and everything else to be a true champion, but he doesn’t take anything seriously. However, Woods does. Woods has a YouTube Empire, 1.5 MILLION subscribers, and he did that on his own. So imagine Woods streaming Fortline– Er, Fortnite. Whatever. But imagine streaming that with the WWE Championship on his waist! He’d be a real-life superhero! Each man has a chance to be one of the greatest WWE Champions in history with the MITB contract. Miz asks again: “Who is it going to be?”

Woods agrees with Miz, it should be E. But Big E thinks it should be Kofi. But Kofi thinks it should be Woods. No no no! Miz wants the exclusive! He’s had enough of their games, because HE is going to win, because HE can beat any of THEM any day of the week! The New Day huddles up. Miz just made a decision for them. It’s Big E. There it is, the exclusive announcement. Big E enters the Money in– No, Miz, you’re Miz-taken. This isn’t for MITB, no no. This is for tonight. Big E VS Miz, right here and right now? “YES! YES!” Too bad, see you at MITB. But Kofi throws a shame pancake at him. Then Big E, and then Woods. “Shame! Shame!” Miz retreats from the shame, but there won’t be any running from MITB. Who will be entered into that match?

Paige finds Miz backstage.

The SmackDown GM saw what happened out there, and understands. “Not everyone likes pancakes.” Haha, very funny. But Paige also heard Miz’s claim about beating New Day. So prove it, right now. Go. Go! It’s happening, after the break.

 

The Miz VS Big E w/ The New Day!

This match is happening because Miz put his foot in his mouth. Can the former Intercontinental Champion and Mr. MITB win against his possible future opponent here tonight?

The bell rings and fans cheer “We Want Pancakes!” Miz and Big E tie up while Woods joins commentary. Big E pushes Miz all around the ring, but Miz manages to climb up a corner. Big E honors the break and lets Miz fall on his face. The fans clap with Big E while Miz grimaces. Miz gets around Big E, but Big E swivles those hips. Big E powers Miz up and off, then swivels at Miz more. Miz stands up and stares Big E down. He wants a test of strength with the former power lifter? Big E accepts, but Miz hits low. Miz clubs Big E down, then runs, but things speed up and Big E leap sup and over to then catch Miz into an abdominal stretch.

Big E starts spanking Miz! Big E then shoves Miz and runs him over. Miz rolls to the apron but Big E pursues. Big E stomps Miz, then backs up, for the apron splash!

Miz falls to the floor, flattened like a pancake. Woods helps Kofi be Big E’s corner men for “the round”. Big E refreshes with syrup and Vaseline, but Miz hits him with a sucker punch. Big E chases Miz into the ring, but Miz slips out to trip him up. Miz then throws Big E into barriers! Miz is in control in this first-ever match while we go picture in picture.

The referee motions for them to bring this back in the ring. Miz fetches Big E to put him in, then stalks him before hitting the low boot. Miz runs and hits another boot. He mocks the “New! Day Rocks!” then runs, but Big E catches the boot into a powerbomb lift. Miz slips out, and hits the A-List combo, cover, TWO. Miz wrenches Big E back with a chinlock, but Big E powers his way up. Big E fights out of the hold, then puts Miz in the corner. He whips corner to corner but Miz reverses, to hit his A-List clothesline. Miz climbs up, takes aim, but Big E hits back with a body shot! The New Day coach Big E up and he keeps hitting body shots. He throws hands and whips but Miz reverses again, to then hit Big E with the kitchen sink knee.

Miz stalks Big E as he crawls to a corner. Miz drags him up but he hits back with knees. Big E swings but misses, Miz hops on for a sleeper hold. E endures as Miz uses his full weight to bring him down. E starts to fade, but then gets a second gas as we go single picture. Miz holds on but Big E powers him into buckles. Big E is free and now Kofi joins commentary. Big E crawls to a corner, but Miz runs in. The A-List clothesline is caught! Big E throws Miz over head with belly2belly suplexes! Kofi is fired up with Big E while Woods plays the trombone for the BIG SPLASH! The fans rally, and Miz stands up to run away.

Big E follows him but Miz slips under. The sunset flip doesn’t work, but Miz does kick a knee out for the– Big E powers off the DDT, then SLAMS Miz down! Cover, TWO! Woods keeps Big E focused, even as Miz gets to the apron again. Big E runs, but Miz blocks the dive with a knee. Miz slips under and kicks low again, for the DDT! Cover, TWO! Both men are down, but stirring. Miz sits up first while fans rally for E. Miz goes for the Finale but E throws him off to then scoop him. He slips off the shoulder and they run, double clothesline! Then the Bar jump Woods! Kofi jump in to take out Sheamus! Cesaro saves Sheamus but now it’s a big brawl. BROGUE takes out Kofi, and Cesaro distracts, SKULL-CRUSHING FINALE! Miz wins!

Winner: The Miz, by pinfall

The A-Lister got big assists from the Swiss Cyborg & Celtic Gladiator, but he only cares that he won. If it’s Big E joining the MITB Ladder Match, will Miz be able to do that all over again? Or will he have to worry about Kofi or Woods instead?

 

Big Cass walks the halls.

The Human Skyscraper is hurt from the events of the WWE European Tour and SmackDown London, but is still here despite not being cleared. When is his expected second return?

 

Backstage interview with Daniel Bryan.

His dreams looked to be dashed, but now he has a second chance. How does he feel about facing Jeff Hardy for that second chance? “It means everything.” Bryan treats every single match as his biggest. He showed Cass what happens when you kick a hornet’s nest. Bryan winning against Hardy, for a chance at MITB! That’s insane! Hardy himself is a legend, a revolutionary, and a very very very difficult mountain to climb. But Bryan loves challenges, and vows to tap that legend out. Can he do it?

 

Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Lana VS Billie Kay w/ Peyton Royce!

The Ravishing Russian has Aiden English sing for her as he does for Rusev! MC Artiste says that Lana is the best~, Lana Number One! But can she be better than one half of the IIconic Duo to join Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch as one of SmackDown’s MITB entrants?

“Wow…! Aiden that was really nice.” But this moment calls for a duet! The IIconics tune up and test the acoustics. Fans chant “Rusev Day! Rusev Day!” and the IIconics take that as rude. “Lana~ is a… Loser~!” Because when they win MITB, SmackDown will be truly #IIconic. Anyway, Billie finally enters the ring and the match begins. English has a sign for LANA Day!

It’s the second holiday on Rusev Day calendar. Peyton storms over and even Billie protests. They SLAP English, so Lana SLAPS them! Lana puts Peyton into barriers, but Billie gets Lana with a punch. Billie brings Lana back into the ring, but Lana catches her with a roundhouse! Lana gives Billie the Machka buster! Cover, LANA WINS!

Winner: Lana wins, by pinfall; qualifies for the Women’s MITB Ladder Match

The MITB match just got RAVISHING! And now it’s LANA DAY!

 

Zelina Vega speaks.

Andrade “Cien” Almas has traveled the world, and has always been treated as a VIP. But what did El Idolo get last week? The Land of Opportunity gave him NOTHING. Almas is the future of SmackDown, so if he doesn’t get what he deserves, then he’ll just take it. Who will be the target of El Idolo next?

 

Andrade “Cien” Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS ???

The original Los Ingobernable wants to be the best, but he again gets a simple local wrestler. The bell rings, and Almas goes right after his opponent with kicks and punches. Almas whips him to a corner then clobbers him with a clothesline. He unleashes stomps then drags his opponent back for more. Almas drags his opponent up but he fights back with body shots and a back elbow. That only pisses Almas off, and he takes him out with a back elbow of his own! He sits his opponent in a corner, then runs for CIEN KNEES! But that won’t be the end of it, as Almas fumes while watching his opponent sit up. CIEN KNEES to the back! Then, Hammerlock DDT! Cover, Almas wins!

Winner: Almas, by pinfall

El Idolo is victorious again for an easy 2-0, but this is only the beginning. How long will it take for Almas to climb up to the top of SmackDown?

 

Carmella mocks Asuka in her backstage interview.

The SmackDown Women’s Champion knows Asuka is coming for her title. There’s an expiration date on her reign. NOT! The haters expect Carmella to slip up. Carmella is not afraid of Asuka, because Charlotte beat Asuka and then Carmella beat Charlotte! It’s math! Carmella is twice as good as Asuka. Asuka can use all the tricks she wants, but Asuka should be the one afraid of Carmella. Carmella vows to moonwalk all over her and prove #MellaIsMoney. Are Carmella’s calculations correct that she’ll continue her reign? Or will the Empress of Tomorrow use her as the first piece of her second win streak?

 

Renee Young introduces AJ Styles.

The Phenomenal One still has his WWE Championship after three high-caliber matches with The King of Strong Style, but none of them have ended in a way to settle their feud. Renee also introduces Shinsuke Nakamura, who won a match last week to give him the right to choose the stipulation for their fourth Dream (Re)Match. Nakamura and Styles glare at each other, but now it’s time to name that stipulation.

Styles doesn’t want any more games, he wants Nakamura to outright say it. “What ‘stipulation’?” Relax and remember why Nakamura gets to choose. By that, Nakamura means the fact he won. Nakamura replays the footage of him faking being hit by a low blow to then hit Styles with his own signature moves. Styles knows that happened. But enjoy that while it last, because it’ll never– Be quiet! And listen very, very carefully. Nakamura vows not just to beat Styles, but dishonor Styles so that he’ll never require. That title will be Nakamura’s, and SmackDown will be Nakamura’s House. Then tell us all what the stipulation is. Nakamura says that their MITB match will be a… Pillow fight! Is he serious? Fans seem halfway interested in that. Styles knew Nakamura was the King of Soft Style.

Nakamura says he jokes because he has the upper hand. Styles jokes because he’s afraid. Nakamura sees Styles’ eyes and just wants to put a knee through his face! “KNEE! TO! FACE!” Styles gets it! But it doesn’t matter what the match is, Nakamura can’t win when it matters. It’s why Nakamura uses cheap shots. Nakamura is no longer the Nakamura we wanted. Pick whatever you want, it still won’t make him as good as Styles. Styles will just see Nakamura at MITB. Nakamura tries a sucker punch but Styles blocks and retaliates. They fight on the outside, Styles putting Nakamura into the timekeeper’s area! Styles clears the announce desk, but Nakamura attacks with a chair! He misses, and Styles hits back to throw him into the crowd. Styles pursues, and they brawl in front of the fans.

Styles puts Nakamura into barriers, then back over to ringside. Fans are fired up as Styles takes aim, and uses the barrier to springboard, but into a chair shot! Nakamura mocks Styles, and counts? He’s counting to 10! Styles stands, and Nakamura stops to ram a knee into Styles, and then slam him on the announce desk! Fans boo and jeer while Nakamura fires up. Nakamura takes aim, and hits a KINSHASA! Nakamura stands up and counts all over again. Fans rabidly chant for Styles but he isn’t getting up. Nakamura reaches 10, and we know what he’s making their match. “LAST! MAN! STANDING!!” The match is made, will Styles survive Nakamura when he’s completely unleashed?!

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Match: The Usos VS The Club!

Twin brothers take on two Good Brothers to see who take on the fearsome Bludgeon Brothers at MITB. Will Harper & Rowan find themselves facing the Uso Penitentiary again? Or will they take on a duo that’s #TooSweet?

Before the match, Anderson asks “What up, Uce?” Gallows says they respect Jimmy & Jey, but respectfully, they blew their shot at the titles. At MITB, it won’t be Bludgeon Brothers VS Blew It Brothers, but the Good Brothers taking their rightful spot atop the division. But Jey snatches the mic to ask if they know where they are. “This ain’t Japan, Uce. This ain’t Monday Night Raw.” SmackDown Live is where the Usos reside. So welcome to the Uso Penitentiary! Penitentiary? They don’t look like wardens. Just a couple… “Uhh…” NERDS! But now it’s a fight! They spill outside the ring and brawl all over, back and forth, and then Jey puts Gallows in the ring to get rocked by an uppercut. The bell rings and we officially begin.

Gallows keeps throwing hands but Jey clotheslines him out. Anderson returns but Jimmy catches him, then Jey FLIES!

Usos take control while we go picture in picture. The Usos put Gallows into a post, then in the ring. Jey tags Jimmy while throwing hands on Gallows. Jimmy runs in for the forearm smash, then loom over Gallows as he tags Jey. The Usos work together again to split the wishbone on Gallows, then Jey tags Jimmy back in. The Usos mug Gallows, then Jimmy headbutts Gallows. Jimmy wraps on a chinlock, then shifts to a headlock. Gallows powers out with a back suplex! Both men are down and Anderson returns to the corner. Gallows and Jimmy head for their corners, and hot tag to Jey and Anderson! The Machine Gun rallies on Jey while we go back to single picture. Jey reverses a whip but Anderson knocks him down. Anderson takes out Jimmy then dodges Jey for the jump kick!

Fans rally while Anderson hops up, for a flying neckbreaker! Cover, TWO! Anderson keeps focus, and fires himself up as he runs corner to corner, into an enziguri! Jey climbs up, but Anderson stops him with another jump kick. Anderson climbs up to join Jey, but Jey headbutts him down. Jey jumps over Anderson, then kicks, for the dragon whip. Gallows tags in, and stalks Jey. He runs in, but misses as Jimmy tags in. The Usos double kick him, then Jimmy SUPERKICKS. Tag to Jey, SUPERKICK to USO SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! The Usos can’t believe it, but Jey tags Jimmy and they go to opposite ends. They climb up, but Anderson stops Jey! Gallows catches Jimmy, into a choke– No, SUPERKICK! YAKUZA KICK! Tag to Anderson, MAGIC KILLER!! Cover, The Club wins!

Winners: The Club (Gallows & Anderson), Anderson pinning; will face the Bludgeon Brothers at MITB

The Good Brothers did it! They’re one match away from being back on top. But can Gallows & Anderson dethrone the duo straight out of Doomsday?

 

Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Naomi VS Sonya Deville!

It’s #GlowTime for the last spot on SmackDown’s half of the Women’s MITB Ladder Match. Can Naomi overcome the Gladiator Gal to then climb a ladder to success?

The bell rings and the two circle. Sonya gets the waistlock and throws Naomi around, then rolls to a cover. ONE, but Sonya holds on. She rolls Naomi again, ONE. Naomi stands up and wheelbarrows to the roll up, ONE. They back off, and Becky Lynch watches from backstage. Sonya and Naomi swing kicks to dodge kicks, but Sonya catches on to sit Naomi down. Naomi does the splits, then rolls Sonya, ONE. Naomi jumps over but Sonya tackles her to a cover, TOW. Charlotte also watches backstage while Sonya drags Naomi up. Sonya gives body shots, then fires off in a corner. She snapmares Naomi, then hits a sliding knee. Cover, TWO, but Sonya keeps her cool.

Mandy coaches Sonya on, and Sonya puts Naomi in a bodyscissor. Sonya gets a partial chinlock but Naomi resists. Fans rally and Naomi powers her way up with Sonya on her back. Naomi rams Sonya into buckles, then throws her off. Naomi runs but into Sonya’s spinebuster! Cover, TWO, and Sonya grows a bit frustrated. Sonya toys with Naomi, and puts her in a corner. Sonya kicks away on Naomi, then backs off at 4. She runs back in but Naomi boots Sonya away. Naomi throws a forearm, so Sonya throws a kick. Naomi kicks back, Sonya kicks back, and back again. They keep trading kicks, and they kick and kick and kick and kick! Naomi and Sonya hit double enziguris! Many herself is shocked, and ushers for Sonya to get up. Sonya brings Naomi up for knee strikes, then runs, but into a backwards wheelbarrow, Naomi wins!

Winner: Naomi, by pinfall; qualifies for the Women’s MITB Ladder Match

Naomi continues her roll! She won the inaugural Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal, and now she moves on to the Women’s MITB Ladder Match. Will she make it #GlowInTheBank as the second ever Ms. MITB?

 

Backstage interview with Jeff Hardy.

How excited is he for the main event? His synapses fired up and he was thinking about nothing but ladders. Hardy knows how to use ladders to captivate yet incapacitate. He has to take the first step facing Bryan tonight. They’re going to “scorch your cerebrum”, and Hardy apologizes to Bryan, but he’s taking flight!

 

Samoa Joe heads to the ring.

The Destroyer wants to see this match for himself, as he faces the winner next week.

 

Daniel Bryan VS Jeff Hardy!

It’s a second chance towards the last spot of the Men’s MITB Ladder Match. The Goat lost to Rusev while The Enigma lost to The Miz, but whoever wins here will still have to face Samoa Joe. Will Samoa Joe be facing a former world champion or the current United Stats Champion next Tuesday?

The bell rings and the two shake hands to show respect. They tie up, Bryan gets the waistlock but Hardy the standing switch. Bryan reverses to the wristlock, but Hardy reverses back. Bryan whips but Hardy runs him over. Hardy waits as Bryan backs off to a corner. They circle and tie up again with a test of strength. Bryan gets the wristlock and brings Hardy to the mat. Hardy endures, but Bryan wrenches it back to a hammerlock. Hardy gets up and powers out, but things speed up and Bryan runs Hardy over! Cover, TWO, but Bryan keeps his cool.

Bryan goes after the arm again, and wrenches. Hardy reverses but Bryan back, and back again. Hardy whips Bryan corner to corner but Bryan goes up and over then builds speed, only to run into the atomic drop and leg-splitting leg drops. Dropkick added, but Bryan bails out while we go to break.

SmackDown returns and Bryan wrenches Hardy’s arm more. He whips Hardy but Hardy dodges to then collide with double crossbodies! Joe likes what he sees as both men slowly stir. Bryan gets up first, then goes to Hardy with a Europan Uppercut. Hardy hits back, so Bryan gives another EuroUpper. Bryan kicks and kicks, but Hardy blocks, so Bryan hits an enziguri. Hardy falls out of the ring and Bryan builds speed, to wreck Hardy with a dropkick. Bryan goes to the apron and takes aim, for a flying- No, Hardy gets clear, then comes back with a LEAPING LARIAT from the apron!

Hardy wipes Bryan out but both men are down on the outside. The ten count begins, but Hardy gets Bryan in the ring. Hardy climbs up, but Bryan trips him up. Bryan turns him around and pulls him back into the Tree of Woe for Yes Kicks! Bryan runs side to side, BIG dropkick! He sits Hardy back up, then climbs up, but Hardy resists. Hardy fights Bryan off, and Bryan goes down. Hardy adjusts, for Whisper in the Wind! Cover, TWO.

Hardy keeps his cool as he stands up. His knee slows him down but he waits for Bryan. Fans duel as Hardy goes for the Twist, but Bryan denies it. Bryan dropkicks out the bad knee! Bryan wants Hardy to sit up, and fans duel as he hits more Yes Kicks! “YES! YES!” But Hardy dodges the buzzsaw to hit the Twist of Fate! Hardy then climbs up, takes aim, Swanton Bomb onto knees! Buzzsaw kick! Cover, TWO! Bryan keeps his cool and takes aim from a corner. “YES! YES!” but Hardy dodges the knee to roll Bryan, TWO, roll up again, TWO. EuroUppers from Bryan over and over, but Hardy catches one for a backslide. Bryan blocks the Twist and and spins, dragon screw with authority! Then Bryan shifts into the Heel Hook!

Hardy endures, reaches, but taps! Bryan wins!

Winner: Bryan, by submission; will face Samoa Joe next week

“Daniel…! Daniel~…!” Joe has a warning for you as he steps into the ring. “I fail to see what we’re celebrating out here, because next week, you face me.”

Backstage interview with Samoa Joe.

Why is he so confident? Why is it that he always tells the truth? Next week, Bryan goes to sleep, “Yes, Yes, Yes.” Joe said his piece, but will he have the last word when he and Bryan face off?

 


 

My Thoughts:

What a great episode of SmackDown! Certainly better than Raw. Everything tonight matters, and yes, even Almas versus the unnamed jobber. Zelina Vega was upset last week that Almas only had a jobber to face, and while she was happy Almas won again, she must still be upset it was against only another jobber. I hope the next thing we get is Vega complaining to Paige about the level of competition Almas is given, and that ends up putting Almas up against someone like AJ Styles or Jeff Hardy. Meanwhile, Miz tries but fails to tear The New Day apart, but he apparently has The Bar back on his side a la TLC when they went up against The Shield. Next week we get the Six Man Tag, and that could go either way.

Lana winning was such a great surprise. As was English single-handedly creating “Lana Day”. The IIconics will be okay, even if WWE doesn’t green light the Women’s Tag Team Division just yet. Naomi and Sonya have really good match, and Naomi winning was great for her. Again, the duo formerly known as Absolution will be fine, with or without the Women’s Tag Division. I can’t be sure if Lana or Naomi win, but they can have good showings in the match. Same goes for The Club. Gallows & Anderson VS Usos was a real good tag match, and I’m happy for The Club that they went over, but Harper & Rowan have been on a truly monstrous roll since returning so I can’t be sure The Club wins.

Nakamura choosing Last Man Standing was all but obvious after the finish to their Backlash match, but Nakamura was very creative in how he presented the idea. At the same time, it is a No Disqualification type match, so that leaves many openings for shenanigans, such as the new Mr. MITB pulling the same move Seth Rollins did to change the match and steal the win from both men. At the same time, that match type could exhaust Styles and Nakamura so that even if Styles wins, Mr. MITB still cashes in successfully. Bryan VS Hardy was a great match, and Bryan VS Joe will be an amazing match. Cass is probably not injured in reality, so he could easily cost Bryan next week to keep their feud going, or he waits until MITB to do the same.

My Score: 8.5/10


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