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Mitchell’s Lucha Underground Report! (6/13/18)

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Lucha Underground Season 4

Lucha Underground, Season 4, Episode 1: “El Jefe”

It’s time to return to the Temple! A lot happened in Season 3, and a lot has changed in the time off. No more Prince Puma, but long live Pentagon Dark as THE Lucha Underground Champion! Who will step up to the Bone Collector’s throne? Which stars will return and what new stars will emerge to fight for honor and glory?

 

Gifs can be found courtesy of http://frentique.tumblr.com/

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Lucha Underground Championship Aztec Warfare: Pentagon Dark wins and retains the Lucha Underground Championship.

PLAY BY PLAY

El Rey reviews Lucha Underground Season 3!

Dario Cueto was in prison after Season 2, but he was bailed out by a higher and darker power. They gave him the Gauntlet of the Gods to put up as a prize. In the end, The Machine Called Cage won it. Cage grew stronger, but also grew more insane and violent. Cueto started to doubt he chose the right man, and his doubts were justified when Cage KILLED Councilman Delgado! But he had a back-up plan: have The Machine take on the Man of 1000 Deaths and the Death Machine in an Elimination Triple Threat for the Gauntlet. And in the end, Mil Muertes would win! Only for King Cuerno to return and snatch the prize away! The King of Hunters now holds the Gauntlet of the Gods, but will Muertes come back for revenge?

Meanwhile, The Mack, Killshot and Dante Fox would earn a shot at the Lucha Underground Trios Championships. The only problem is that Killshot and Dante Fox hate each other, stemming from Killshot leaving Fox behind in a war zone. However, fighting along side each other brought the brothers in arms together, and this new Trio WON! The Reptile Tribe is reeling, who will challenge The Mack, Killshot & Fox this season? And, Pentagon Dark, now independent from his master, Vampiro, vowed to become THE champion. He would first win the Gift of the Gods Championship, and use it to rob Prince Puma of both title AND LU career! Cueto felt he had won over his superiors, but no. They would leave him for dead, promising “new management” would take his place.

 

Dario Cueto IS dead!

El Jefe lies in a casket at his funeral. No one else bothers to show up, besides Agent Winter and a certain someone. “Us Cuetos were always better at making enemies than friends.” Antonio is all set, with full control of Lucha Underground. But one issue: ever since “those gangbangers” shot his son, the Temple cannot be used for the promotion. “As long as the sacred seal is in the ring, The Temple can be anywhere.” Antonio has a place. “This will be my new Temple.” Good, but remember. It’s just a cover. Don’t forget the true objective. Dario made many mistakes, but his father won’t repeat them.

Supposedly, Dario tried calling him for help. Is that true? Yes. How ironic, wanting help from the man who ordered his hit. “Dario was always the weak one.” That’s why Matanza is a god. Well, the roster awaits. “Have fun, and be ready”, because “our friend in the limo will be coming for war before you know it.” Daddy’s back, and he has the key to the Monster. What will Antonio Cueto do now that he’s in charge?

 

The NEW Temple opens.

Melissa Santos asks the audience in attendance stand for a moment of silence for Dario Cueto, and 10 ringings of the bell. Some fans cry, but “hold on!” The only thing colder than this ice warehouse is this crowd! The fans boo the raggedy Antonio Cueto as he limps to the ring. Antonio introduces himself to those who do not know him, and explains that he’s the new owner. “This is MY Temple!” And he knocks down his son’s picture! Fans boo him again. “Tonight, chances are, we will crown a new Lucha Underground Champion!” That gets fans to cheer again. Pentagon Dark will defend his title tonight! In a match that, despite what Dario said, is Antonio’s creation! Yes, it will be AZTEC WARFARE!! Fans really like that, because it’ll be NEXT.

 

Lucha Underground Championship Aztec Warfare!

Yes, one match with 20 luchadors, and it’s all for the title! Two wrestlers will start and compete to score a pinfall or submission elimination, but more competitors will be added as time goes on. Who will be the last luchador standing to hold up THE Lucha Underground Championship belt!?

Antonio personally asks Killshot and The Mack out to the ring first. They hold the three Trios Championship belts, but where is Dante Fox? Antonio makes sure they understand the Trios Champions themselves will be part of the Aztec Warfare match. All three of them! However, Antonio also notices Dante is MIA. Therefore, Mack and Killshot are entering first! Whichever luchador ends up #3, they’ll automatically replace Fox as their third partner! “Melissa, take it away.” Melissa makes the announcement and introductions, and the third man… SON OF HAVOC! Mack and Killshot don’t really like this, they just got on good terms with Fox. But the decision has been made, these three are now Trios Champions. And to get to know each other, they can beat the hell out of each other!

The match officially begins, and naturally it becomes 2v1 as Havoc fights off both Killshot and Mack. Havoc backs Mack into a corner then dumps Killshot out. Mack runs Havoc over, then speeds things up, and Havoc dropkicks Mack down. Killshot returns with the “Get Over Here!” then covers, TWO. The countdown begins, and #4 is… Joey Ryan! The Sleazy One returns to the Temple, chest hair and lollipop included. Joey enters the ring and stares down with Mack and Killshot. He pulls out handcuffs! Joey is doing what he did in the past: he cuffs himself to a rope so that no one can pin him. But then Mack just throws hands on his greasy body! Killshot whips Mack in for the splash, but we get #5: Mr. Pectacular, Jessie Godderz! The former Impact World Tag Team Champion makes his LU debut!

Killshot and Mack wait for Jessie to enter, but Havoc returns to get dropkick’d down! Jessie is all fired up, but Killshot boots him right down! Havoc adds a handspring back elbow, then Mack adds a BIG hip attack senton! But then Killshot rolls up his pal! Killshot ELIMINATES The Mack!! But all is fair in love and Aztec Warfare, so hopefully Mack doesn’t stay mad long. #6 comes in, and it’s the Lucha Underground Champion himself, PENTAGON DARK! The Bone Collector is already in the match this early, but he welcomes that because he has #CeroMiedo! Pentagon heads down the stairs while we go to break.

Lucha Underground returns, and Pentagon rallies as he Slingblades Havoc, Killshot and Jessie Godderz in a row. Joey Ryan begs for mercy, but Pentagon looks to the fans. Joey un-cuffs himself, and sucker punches Pentagon! It doesn’t do a thing, so Joey goes back to begging for mercy. Pentagon hits him with a Package Piledriver! Cover, Pentagon ELIMINATES Joey Ryan! Joey slides out while Havoc comes in. Havoc goes after Pentagon, then Killshot comes in to roll Havoc! TWO, and Pentagon gives Killshot a Package Piledriver! Havoc hits the Shooting Star, cover, Havoc ELIMINATES Killshot! Seems the Trios Champions are far from friends. #7 enters, it’s TOMMY DREAMER!! The House of Hardcore Soldier is in The Temple! And he’s ready for a fight!

Dreamer brings in some friends, aka chairs, kendo sticks, trash cans, and more. Jessie goes after Pentagon but Pentagon kicks him away. Pentagon runs and SUPERKICKS Jessie, to then cover. While Dreamer SMACKS Havoc with a cookie sheet, Pentagon ELIMINATES Mr. Pectacular. Dreamer grabs a kendo stick and fans are going wild for the ECW Original. Pentagon stares down with Dreamer and takes off his glove to properly introduce Dreamer to #CeroMiedo. Dreamer swings, Pentagon dodges, but Dreamer blocks to then kendo SMACK Pentagon on the leg! But now we get #8: Mariposa! The Monarch of the Moth Tribe returns while Pentagon smacks away on Dreamer.

Mari takes her time entering while Pentagon hops up top. Dreamer trips him up and puts him in the Tree of Woe, then he fetches a trash can. Dreamer places the can in front of Pentagon, but Mari is lurking. He tells her to wait, as he hits the basement dropkick on Pentagon! Mari waited, then she clobbers him! She SMACK SMACKS SMACKS away on both Dreamer and Pentagon with the kendo stick, but Havoc returns. Havoc gets a jab and a SMACK, then more SMACKS. Dreamer slides out while Pentagon gets up. Pentagon aims at Dreamer and slingshots, only for Dreamer to SMACK him out of the air with another kendo stick.

Dreamer tells fans to clear out while Mari throws Havoc. Havoc handsprings back to hit Mari with a lethal cutter! Dreamer fights with Pentagon on the stairs, Havoc ELIMINATES Mariposa! The Moth didn’t last long, did she? Dreamer meanwhile pours out thumbtacks! He drags Pentagon over, but Pentagon resists the suplex. Pentagon boots Dreamer, then SPEARS him onto the tacks! The Believers lose their minds over that madness, but Pentagon just puts Dreamer in the ring. Pentagon stands up, for the double stomps! Pentagon ELIMINATES Dreamer just as we get #9: Vinnie Massaro! The Italian Meatball is here, and his pizza just arrived! Vinnie gives a thumbs up, but the pizza guy wants a tip. Here’s a tip: buzz off.

Fans sing to Vinnie, “Hey~ we want some pizza~!” But Vinnie is getting into the ring and takes off the robe. He grabs himself a slice, and even offers some to Pentagon. Pentagon instead gives Vinnie #CeroMiedo, shoves that slice in his mouth, and SUPERKICKS it down his throat! Pentagon then grabs the pizza box, sets the pizza down, Package Piledriver on the pizza! Cover, Pentagon ELIMINATES Vinnie! Just in time for #10: Hernandez! Super-Mex returns to the Temple. And he swaggers down to the ring while Havoc and Pentagon fight. The pizza guy checks on Vinnie, but mostly to see if there’s money in his wallet.

Hernandez stands toe to toe with Pentagon, #CeroMiedo meeting 100% attitude. Hernandez SLAPS Pentagon down to the mat. But Pentagon gets up, and mule kicks Hernandez down! Pentagon then puts Hernandez in the Dark Armbar, and… SNAP goes his arm! Fans love it, Pentagon covers, and ELIMINATES Hernandez! Good-bye again, Super-Mex. Pentagon and Havoc go at it, wheelbarrow roll through to double stomps from Havoc to Pentagon. Cover, TWO! Pentagon runs, Havoc dodges but his handspring goes into the backstabber! Cover, Pentagon ELIMINATES Havoc! At least now Havoc can work on his team building skills with Killshot and Mack.

It’s time for #11: Johnny Mundo! Before Pentagon robbed Prince Puma, it was Johnny Mundo who held the LU Championship, and now he wants that belt back. #CeroMiedo goes to #SlamTown after the break.

Lucha Underground returns and Mundo throws hands while also pokes thumbs into Pentagon’s face. Mundo brings Pentagon up but Pentagon sharply chops Mundo! Fans want “Otra! Otra!” but Pentagon whips Mundo corner to corner instead. Mundo slips out to the apron and slides under, then out again to roundhouse Pentagon away. Mundo climbs while Pentagon goes down. He jumps, but has to bail out as Pentagon evades. Pentagon runs at Mundo, but into the standing Spanish Fly! Cover, TWO, and we get #12: no one? Well, the word is that it was Angelico, but he didn’t come out from the freezer. Mundo wants to know what’s going on, but here comes RICKY Mundo. Don’t forget, his birth name is Ricky Mantel, but he changed it to Ricky Mundo to be more like his hero. Though, that creepy doll…

Johnny Mundo brings Pentagon up and around, but Pentagon reverses into a backstabber! Ricky walks down the steps and talks to the doll, while Pentagon CHOPS Mundo. Ricky sets the doll down, then helps out his hero as he clubs Pentagon. Worldwide Underground works together to mug the champion, then coordinate for the powerslam neckbreaker. Johnny covers, TWO. Ricky ignores all that as he seems to be in a trance with his little friend in the corner… Johnny gets his attention, the Mundos need to work together. But then Ricky turns on Johnny! Roll up, TWO, and now Johnny is furious at his protege. Ricky apologizes, the doll said to do it. The doll? Forget that, Moonlight Drive! Cover, Johnny ELIMINATES Ricky! #13 comes out now, and it’s… Fenix! The Triple Crown Champion, the Bird of War, is here!

Fenix heads right to the ring but Mundo slips out with a grin. Pentagon turns Fenix around, but Fenix is ready with the wristlock and chop. Fenix uses Pentagon for balance as he jumps onto the ropes, but Mundo chops him! Fenix rebounds to enziguri Mundo and arm-drag Pentagon! Only Fenix stands, as he runs in at Mundo. Mundo boots him away, then double wristlock, but Fenix pushes back to jump up. Fenix jumps and jumps, but Mundo jumps too, only for Fenix to throw him with a SUPER-rana! Mundo rolls all the way out, but fans fire up as Fenix FLIES!

Fenix wipes out Mundo and Pentagon! He brings Mundo up to throw him into railing, then brings up Pentagon into the ring. Fenix climbs up while out comes #14: Jeremiah Crane! The Lucha Death Machine emerges and heads for the ring. Fenix is ready, but Crane grabs himself a chair. Crane jabs into Fenix, then sits the chair down. “What goes up, must come down!” But Fenix fights out of the suplex to then turn the tables, “Animo!” But Crane counters to Falcon Arrow Fenix on the chair! Cover, TWO, and out comes #15: MIL MUERTES! And as always, Catrina is by his side, power stone in hand.

There is no love lost between the lovers of the Lady of Death, as they glare at each other the entire time Muertes heads down. Crane blows a kiss to his ex, then jabs a chair into Muertes’ face! But Muertes doesn’t budge. Muertes grabs and CHOKE SLAMS Crane! Pentagon returns but he gets clothesline’d, as do Fenix and Mundo. Muertes keeps going, and even SPEARS Fenix and Mundo in turn. Muertes powers up on the Aztec seal while fans are thunderous for him. Mundo stands, and Muertes grabs him with both hands, but Crane kicks out Muertes’ leg. SUPERKICK from Pentagon, bicycle kick from Crane, and Flying Chuck from Mundo! Muertes goes down, but Crane brings him up to feed to Fenix’s roundhouse in the corner. Fenix then springboards to DOUBLE STOMP Muertes!

Cover, Fenix ELIMINATES Muertes! Catrina is beside herself, then storms off as #16 enters. It’s Kobra Moon! No, wait, it’s her new knight of the Reptile tribe: DAGA! Daga heads down to fight on behalf of his Queen, and goes right for Fenix! Fenix and Daga speed things up, each going for tilt-o-whirl backbreakers only for the other to slip out of them. Daga hits a cutter! Mundo returns but Daga gets him with a suplex backbreaker. Daga runs and gives Mundo a blasting dropkick. Crane returns to throw Daga out, then we get #17: Chavo Guerrero Jr!? Dario Cueto banned Chavito back when he lost to Rey Mysterio, but it seems Antonio Cueto lifted that ban.

Chavo heads down and fans fire up for the lucha legend, and Crane is ready. Crane gives a thumbs down, but Pentagon says #CeroMiedo! Package Piledriver! Pentagon ELIMINATES Crane, but Chavo goes right at the champ with body shots. Chavo unloads, but Fenix comes in and pulls Chavo off Pentagon. Chavo counters with a knee, then suplexes Fenix up for the brainbuster. Cover, Chavo ELIMINATES Fenix?! Don’t call it an upset, but it is still surprising. Chavo goes right after Pentagon again, then whips him corner to corner. Pentagon reverses but Chavo dodges, and Pentagon hits the post. Pentagon tumbles out, and Chavo slingshots out onto him! Chavo fires up while Mundo and Daga are in the ring.

Mundo whips Daga corner to corner but Daga sticks out boots. Mundo blocks, then spins him to kick him. With Daga still on the ropes, Mundo runs and gives Daga a sliding German Suplex while also shoving Kobra Moon! Mundo climbs back up, and gives Daga Fin Del Mundo! Cover, Mundo ELIMINATES Daga while we get #18: King Cuerno! The King of Hunters is here and walks down to the ring while Chavo stomps a mudhole into Mundo. Pentagon sees Cuerno and goes right for him, but gets a roundhouse for it. Cuerno climbs up, but Chavo and Mundo head for him. Cuerno leaps and hits Mundo with a crossbody!

Chavo saved himself by ducking under, and lets Mundo go after Cuerno first. Cuerno dodges Mundo to give Chavo the tilt-o-whirl backbreaker! Mundo runs back in, but into a big knee strike from Cuerno. Cuerno ducks Pentagon to then dropkick Pentagon down. Pentagon ends up out of the ring, and fans know what Cuerno has planned. Cuerno builds speed, for the Hunter’s Arrow DIVE! Direct hit, but now we get #19: Dragon Azteca Jr! The young dragon rises after being broken multiple ways, and he heads for the ring.

Azteca hotshots Chavo, then springboards at Mundo for the crossbody. He keeps moving, tilt-o-whirl satellite DDT! Azteca sees Pentagon, builds speed from corner to corner, and FLIES out onto Pentagon over the post! Azteca takes out Pentagon and the Temple is thunderous. But Kobra Moon returns, and summons VIBORA! It’s the infamous Luchasaurus, and though he’s not an official entrant, he goes after Mundo! He grabs Mundo for the Kaiju Choke Slam! Kobra grins, and Vibora gives Mundo the knee trigger while we get #20, the final entrant: Marty “The Moth” Martinez! The madman and “Creepy Bastard!” of the Moth Tribe returns, hoping to redeem his family from Mari’s failure.

Meanwhile, Kobra brings Mundo up for Vibora to scoop him, into a Tombstone piledriver! Marty marches his way down while the Reptiles leave him a present. Marty covers, and ELIMINATES Mundo! The Moth flaps his wings as Cuerno, Pentagon and Chavo recover, and we go to break.

Lucha Underground once more, and Cuerno dropkicks Marty out of the ring. Cuerno builds speed, but Chavo trips him up! Chavo drags Cuerno out, but backs down from the bigger man. Dragon Azteca dropkicks Cuerno down, then rallies the fans as he builds speed. But Chavo intercepts Azteca’s flight with a flying chair! Azteca goes down, and Chavo climbs up, but Cuerno shoves Chavo off the top! Chavo crashes and burns while Cuerno hits the Frog Splash on Azteca. Cover, Cuerno ELIMINATES Azteca! Cuerno, Chavo, Marty and Pentagon are your Final Four, and all four men take a corner to stare down with the rest.

Cuerno eggs Chavo on, and Chavo takes the bait. Chavo runs in, but into a roundhouse! Marty goes after Pentagon with fast hands. Cuerno climbs, but he has to leap over Marty. Pentagon enziguris Marty right out of the ring! Pentagon blocks and counters Cuerno, then mule kicks the leg out. He brings Cuerno up, and #CeroMiedo, for the springboard, but into Cuerno’s knee strike! Cuerno drags Pentagon back up into the fireman’s carry. He brings him to the seal, but Chavo kicks Cuerno in the huevos! Chavo drags Cuerno up and around, for the Gory Bomb! Cover, Chavo ELIMINATES Cuerno! Fans boo but Chavo is legitimately a Top Three finalist in Aztec Warfare.

Chavo and Pentagon stare down, then speed up. Pentagon fakes the Superkick to mule kick Chavo’s leg out, then runs to SUPERKICK his face! Cover, Pentagon ELIMINATES Chavo! But Marty is lurking nearby. He fires himself up, his manic madness the foil to Pentagon’s sinister sadism. Pentagon takes his other glove and CHOPS Marty hard! But Marty grins, and gives away furious forearms. Marty runs, but into a SUPERKICK! He still stands, but he’s wobbly. Pentagon fires up, runs, but into the bicycle kick! Both men are dazed, but Marty runs and Pentagon follows. Marty dodges, and lifts Pentagon, fireman’s carry to TKO! Cover, TWO! And Marty is already frustrated. Fans are thunderous for “Cero Miedo!” while the champion stirs.

Marty takes aim from a corner, his madness reaching a fever pitch. He runs at Pentagon, CURB STOMP! Cover, TWO!! And Marty is shocked. Fans rally for Pentagon while Marty stalks him to a corner. Marty drags Pentagon up and whips him corner to corner. Marty follows but Pentagon goes up and over, for the backstabber! Pentagon covers, TWO! And now Pentagon is a bit surprised. Fans rally up again, and Pentagon kicks Marty sharply. Marty sits up, but Pentagon reminds him #CeroMiedo. Marty bits Pentagon’s fingers! Then he kicks Pentagon low, and prepares the underhook, for Butterfly’s Wings! Cover, TWO!! Marty knows he was close, but fans chant “Lucha! Lucha!” and “This is Awesome!”

Marty waits for Pentagon as Pentagon drags himself up. He runs in corner to corner, and hits the splash. But then Pentagon boots Marty down! Pentagon hops up, flipping Destroyer piledriver! Then, Package Piledriver! Cover, Pentagon wins!!

Winner: Pentagon Dark, by pinfall; still Lucha Underground Champion

In a surprise opener to the season, and with no real preparation, the Dark Luchador succeeds in retaining his title in the most grueling match around. Fans chant for the triumphant Pentagon, but he’s not done yet! Pentagon drags Marty out to the center, puts him in the Dark Armbar, and SNAP goes the arm! Marty writhes and shouts in pain, but Antonio comes out to congratulate the champion. “After watching you suffer in this match, Dario would’ve probably made you defend your title against another competitor, right here right now.” But Antonio is much better than his son ever was. Next week, Pentagon will be in an even more violent match than this! It will be another Lucha Underground Championship defense against… “My only son,” The Monster, Matanza Cueto!! Will Pentagon still have #CeroMiedo after facing the Wrath of the Gods?!

 


 

My Thoughts:

What a great season premiere! Obviously the actor who was Dario Cueto is just made up like he’s in Undercover Boss to be Antonio Cueto, but pro-wrestling has always been about suspension of disbelief, especially here in Lucha Underground. Antonio already shows he’s more levelheaded than Dario, as he doesn’t waste any time doing what all great wrestling authority figures do. First, he more or less screws out Dante Fox by not having him in Aztec Warfare, nor letting him have a chance at staying Trios Champion. In reality, there might have been contract things, but in kayfabe this is probably going to be something never really resolved. Second, he cuts the talk and gets to the action with the single best match in Lucha Underground.

This one match went all night and it was amazing with all the returns, debuts and story going into it. That pizza guy taking money from Vinnie was a nice touch, too. Really great to see a good number of talent return, but don’t worry if someone didn’t show up here. Other stars like Drago, Aerostar and Sexy Star are sure to show up next week and the weeks after that. And it is clear the relationship of Lucha Underground and Impact Wrestling is going to influence both sides, as “Mr. Pectacular” makes his debut while crossover wrestlers like Hernandez, Crane/Callihan and Cuerno/Phantasma are here. I was really surprised to see Dreamer, I hope he shows up more. And lastly, Antonio makes sure to hype up next week, Matanza VS Pentagon itself could go all night if they wanted, as it could go either way.

My Score: 8.8/10


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