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NWA-TNA Episode 9: No ‘I’ In Team

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This week, TNA will deal with the fallout of the shocking NWA World Championship match, the NWA will try again to reign in Jeff Jarrett, who will continue to press his case to get a World Championship shot, the tumultuous partnership of Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles will face its biggest challenge yet, and the Dupp Cup has a shocking winner.

Opening: We start with a recap of Truth’s historic win over Ken Shamrock. Mike Tenay welcomes us and we start with our first match.

Truth comes out to a pretty good pop. Truth tells the audience that they wanted the truth and now they’re all in HIS house, the TNA Asylum. Truth says that last week made him a legend. He owned up to be bitter and not sure if he was going to get the opportunity that he deserved or that NWA would play fair, which is fair given how Jeff Jarrett was treated last week. He also comes out and says what he’s been dancing around for weeks: he was denied opportunities because of being African-American. To expound his point, he claims that WWE held him back because he was black, claiming a WWE executive told him that he couldn’t make the same mistakes as everyone else because he was a ‘Black man in a white man’s world’.

Truth claims that he’s not playing a race card and that he’s a black man in a man’s world and that he’s a legend. He also reminds us that everyone deals with prejudice but that everyone gets an opportunity and it’s what you do with the opportunities that matter.

(Gag)

Jarrett comes out and repeats his claim of reverse discrimination because while Truth did beat Shamrock, he was given the opportunity to face Shamrock, while Jarrett has been fighting every week for the same chance and gotten screwed out of it time and again. Furthermore, he wants a match against Truth for the NWA title TONIGHT.

(Uh, Jeff, you guys have a tag match tonight)

Truth isn’t buying Jarrett’s claims of discrimination, but says that if Jarrett wants a fight for the title, he’d be glad to give him one.

Unfortunately, we’re interrupted by Boring as Beige Bill Behrens, in a really stupid looking cowboy hat, who brought some rent a cops, one of the Harris Twins, and Bob Armstrong, with him for back up. Apparently, Steamboat has the night off, Behrens is in charge, and he’s still blaming Jarrett for the attacks on NWA officials. He also says that Jarrett can fight Truth if he wants, but it’s not going to be for the title, which only adds to Jarrett’s feelings of being wronged. Before Jarrett can press his point by forcefully pressing his fist into Behrens’ nose, he’s attacked from behind by Brian Lawler, who was last seen attacking Don West a few weeks ago.  Lawler seems to have dropped Jarrett as a friend, claiming ‘I know what you did’, though what Jarrett did isn’t explained.

With that drama over with, Tenay and company run down the card for tonight.

Kid Kash, Shark Boy, Slim J vs Amazing Red, Joel Maximo, Jose Maximo: Kid Kash gets the best pop of the group. Slim J seems to be an attempt on cashing in on Eminem’s popularity at the time.

This was an okay match. It seemed to be more about spots than actual wrestling. Kid Kash really stood out in this match, but I can’t say this match was very memorable. Slim J is supposedly a 17 year-old in his first year, and it really shows. It wasn’t a total disaster, but this seemed to be a highlight of what a lot of people don’t like about cruiserweights: To many high spots for no real reason, and not very much actual wrestling. However, it got the crowd going and they seemed to enjoy it.

Winner: Amazing Red and the Maximo Brothers by pinfall.

Comment: That wasn’t the best match, but it didn’t suck.

Backstage, we find poor Goldilocks with the Dupps in front of an outhouse, and it seems Goldi isn’t in a good mood (can’t imagine why). She warns the Dupps that she doesn’t like them and she doesn’t want them touching her. Blond Dupp seems to think that his defending her last week meant that she had to be nice to him. (Oh, I’m hating this already). To prove her point about them not touching her, when Blond asks her to check out his package, she hits him with her microphone, in the package.

Apparently, the Dupps have a…great idea for a new TV show, based on MTV’s ‘Cribs’, only it’s going to be called ‘Shitters’. (NO, I am NOT kidding). They open the outhouse, which was a apparently their Grandmother’s and stinks to high hell, if Goldi’s reactions are anything to go by, but she continues the interview while gagging.

Bruce vs Woman in Jeans: Bruce comes out for a promo, still in his fetching red number.

(Seriously, I want that dress. I don’t know where I would wear it, but I want it so badly).

Bruce claims to love everyone, and that he’s more woman than Tenay’s wife or any woman in the arena.

(Charming)

He says that all the women are jealous of him and all the married men are fantasizing about him. This is being said while he’s bulging out of a dress that barely fits, while the audience chants ‘You suck d**k!’.

He then challenges any woman to a match, promising to cut them a check for $5000 if they could beat him in a match.

The challenge is finally accepted by a larger lady in an Old Navy shirt. Borash has her sign a release contract and she’s on her way.

Much like last week, I’m not going to dignify this wreck with much more than this: The match was awful. Old Navy Lady got in a few good shots, but Bruce is a pro and it showed.

Winner: Bruce by pinfall. However, Old Navy was a good sport about it.

Comment: Bruce’s dress was the only thing I liked about this whole thing.

Backstage, a Dupp free and  much happier looking Goldilocks is interviewing Jeff Jarrett. Goldilocks asks about Lawler, which pisses Jarrett off. Jarrett claims to not know what Lawler’s so mad about and that he’ll deal with it in his own time, telling Goldilocks not to start anything.

(Dude, she’s doing her job)

Jarrett says that what he DOES want to talk about is Truth.  He says that he and Truth aren’t friends, and that he and Truth are only partners because Jarrett’s being forced to be his partner. Jarrett says that he’s going to keep after Truth because Truth is wearing Jarrett’s belt and that Jarrett isn’t going to be taking crap from anybody.

Speaking of crap. Jarrett has Goldi follow him into the bathroom where he finds Bill Behrens in middle of a trip to the throne room, complete with very colorful boxers, that were conveniently already pulled up. Jarrett gives Behrens a very weak beatdown that Behrens sold like the worst jobber. Jarrett then warns Behrens that if he screws with Jarrett anymore, he’ll be part of the wall Jarrett just shoved him into.

On his way out, Jarrett encounters Lo Ki and as we follow him out, we see an encounter between Hat Dupp and one of the midget wrestlers. Hat seems to think that even accidental run-ins means a match is on.

Dupp Cup: Teo vs Hat Dupp: Teo is out first and then out comes the Dupps with their toys. Teo uses the middle rope to low blow Hat before low blowing Borash. Don’t ask me how many points that is.

Do I need to say this was a trainwreck? The only good part was the commentary, and even that wasn’t enough to save this mess. Though, when Blond goes to attack the ticket lady, she beats the tar out of him with a broom.

Winner: Teo with some help from Puppet.

Comment: Oh, I hope this storyline ends soon.

We get a recap of the issues between Monty Brown and Elix Skipper.

Detroit Street Fight: Elix Skipper vs Monty Brown: Skipper gets little reaction. Skipper gets on the mic and says that this is HIS house and that Brown has no business being there and that Skipper didn’t give him permission to be there. Brown doesn’t get a much better reaction but gets the jump on Skipper.

This wasn’t a great match, even by Street Fight standards. Brown still has a lot to learn about storytelling in a match. This was more of a palate cleanser than anything else.

Winner: Monty Brown by pinfall.

Comment: Eh.

Backstage, Goldilocks is with the Flying Elvises, who are about to compete against each other and Lo Ki for the TNA X Division Championship. When asked about how they were feeling about that, Estrada says that there are mixed emotions for the Flying Elvises. They are also wearing black armbands to remember the 25th anniversary of Elvis’ death. Estrada also says that they are all professionals and have to step and take advantage of the opportunity they’re being given.

Jimmy Yang and Estrada are really leaning into this whole Elvis thing, which makes Siaki’s utter contempt interesting, even if his attempt to mimic the Rock’s promo style is annoying. Siaki points out that Elvis died on the toilet. He then insults his ‘teammates’ and Elvis while Goldilocks looks like she’d rather be somewhere else.

X-Division Championship Match: Lo Ki vs Sonny Siaki vs Jorge Estrada vs Jimmy Yang: Lo Ki is out first to an okay reaction. Elvises don’t get a much better reaction.

This was an okay match in the beginning. The Flying Elvises didn’t spare each other but the first half of the match was mostly a spot fest. However, Siaki proved to be only out for himself when he cheap shotted Yang and further showed his contempt for his ‘teammates’.

Once Estrada and Yang were eliminated is when things got interesting because it was down to Siaki and Lo Ki. Their part of the match was brief but very good. Siaki ended up being defeated due to a distraction after Yang got in a payback cheap shot, which left the door open for Lo Ki to get the win on a roll up.

Winner: Lo Ki by pinfall.

Comment: Siaki has the makings of good heel, but he needs a better gimmick than basically being a Rock rip off.

We get a view of an incident from earlier where Goldilocks was interviewing Jerry Lynn in the Lynnmobile (that’s what they called it) and were discussing the issues between Lynn and Styles and their match with Jarrett and Truth. Lynn said that he and Styles would work together because, when it comes to the tag belts, they’re professionals. Last week was every man for himself. He then stops the car and says that he has something to take care of. I should point out that Lynn was very calm and laid back during the whole conversation, even if the interview in an SUV was a little awkward.

What he had to take care of was beating the hell out of AJ Styles in the middle of a gas station parking lot. Lynn leaves Styles in a heap in a clawfoot bathtub that was outside and warns him not to mess with him (Lynn again) and that it IS about respect.

(So, just attacking him out of the blue is respectful?)

Back at the Asylum, it is time for Jive Talkin’. Apparently, Disco isn’t going to have a wrestler on this week, he’s going to have a genuine movie star on his show. Who would be that desperate, you ask? Dean Baldwin.

(No, he’s not a lost Baldwin brother, just some dude they brought in who sort of looks like a Baldwin brother).

Walmart Baldwin and Disco waste no time in insulting the Dupps and Goldilocks. Walmart is trying to promote his new movie, Urban Hearthrobs and its big name cast, including Frank Stallone and Carrot Top.

(Oh, someone punch one of these idiots).

We get some super creepy talk about what Alec Baldwin and then-wife Kim Bassinger get up to in bed and whether or not Kim is a screamer.

The audience isn’t having this and neither am I, get to the damn point of this already.

Walmart Baldwin wants to talk about his movie, Disco wants to know if Alec and Kim have had threesomes.

We are saved by Brian Lawler, who lets us all know that he doesn’t give a s**t about Disco Inferno, his show, or Walmart Baldwin. What does Lawler care about? Whatever it is that Jeff Jarrett did. Walmart Baldwin makes the error of insulting Lawler and pays for it with a stiff punch to the face.

Disco tries to save face by hyping next week’s Jive Talkin’.

Backstage, Lawler is being tossed out of the building by Don Harris.

In another part of the building, Goldilocks is dealing with angry Dupps. Apparently, Blond Dupp is so angry at losing the Dupp Cup, he just walked out, leaving Hat by himself. Hat seems to think Goldi should know what to do, Goldi’s response is to shrug and say “He’s your brother”.

NWA Tag Team Championship Match: AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn vs Jeff Jarrett and Ron ‘Truth’ Killings: Jarrett gets a pretty good pop, as does Truth. Lynn gets a great reaction and is ambushed by Jarrett and Truth. Styles comes in to save Lynn and the champs work together, like Lynn said they would.

This was such a good match, especially to what had happened earlier in the show. Jarrett and Styles worked great together, with a few awkward spots. Lynn and Truth’s end was a little more awkward, but still very good.

Unfortunately, when the tag champs try to work together in the same ring, things get more awkward. However, Jarrett, Styles, and Lynn can make a good match out of just about anything.

Unfortunately, this great match was ruined by crazy booking. Scott Armstrong got taken out by Styles by accident and we had the usual, babyface pins heel and there’s no ref. By the time Armstrong had collected himself, another ref was sliding in and we had dueling counts, one for the champs, one for the challengers.

Bob Armstrong comes out and takes the belts, declaring that the belts will be held up. He then tells Truth that he’ll be defending the title against Monty Brown. Jerry Lynn and Styles will face each other for a chance at the X Division Championship next week. Lynn wants a Falls Count Anywhere Match. Styles wants a No DQ match (isn’t that basically the same thing?). Armstrong match gives them both what they want, in 2 out of 3 falls, the third match will be a 10-minute Iron Match.

As for Jarrett, he’s had enough of the NWA’s BS, he’s leaving with the tag belts he thinks he won. He says that Monty Brown got his match, Lynn and Styles got theirs, but what about Jeff Jarrett? Armstrong tells him that he’s got a special opponent in mind for Jarrett next week. Jarrett walks out, with the Tag Belts, with Armstrong in hot pursuit.

Winner: No Contest due to the screwy finish.

Comment: That match saved this show for me up until the finish.

Don West does his best Billy Mays for next week’s show, but we’re interrupted by news that something’s going on in the back.

Backstage, Jarrett and Armstrong are arguing and Jarrett is trying to leave with the tag belts, when he’s attacked by a deranged Brian Lawler, who is still screaming about knowing what Jarrett did.

Overall Comments: So, how was NWA-TNA # 9? It was okay. Most of the matches were nothing to get excited about except for the main event, even if the non-finish was frustrating.

Someone seems to have made Russo ease up on the sexist way women were treated on the show. Goldilocks was actually able to hit back at the Dupps and the fan from the intergender match got in a few licks.

The ongoing issue with whether or not Jarrett is a face or a heel is still there. He seemed to be a heel tonight, but his continued claims of reverse discrimination are not going to make him a heel in Tennessee, and whoever is writing this show should’ve realized that.

Despite being a pretty lackluster episode, this was a pivotal episode for TNA. Health South, the original financial backer for TNA, withdrew its support after this episode, leaving TNA scrambling. This lead it to Panda Energy, and Dixie Carter. This partnership, for better or worse would be the ground TNA stood on for over a decade. 

Stinkers: Bruce vs Old Navy Lady. The only bright spot was Bruce’s dress, which I still want.

Snoozers: Elix Skipper vs Monty Brown.

Match of the Night: Lynn/Styles vs Jarrett/Truth

Final Thoughts: If this match was the last straw for Health South, I can hardly blame them, but this was hardly the worst episode.


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Chairshot Classics: NWA-TNA Episode 15: Night of Chumpions

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On this week’s episode, EVERY title belt is on the line! Jerry Lynn defends the X-Division Title against AJ Styles in a ladder match, Ron Killings defends the NWA Title against Lo-Ki, and Chris Harris and James Storm defend the Tag Titles against Ron Harris and a mystery partner.

Also, the war of words between Jarrett, his crew and the DX/NWO merger continues. The Maximos and Flying Elvises compete for a big opportunity. Siaki takes his first steps in one-on-one competition without the Elvises against a familiar face.

So how’d they do? Let’s find out!

 We start off with a DX reunion! Syxx Pac and BG James make their way to the ring and James wants to do some smack talk. He and Syxx have been everywhere and have done that. However, both think TNA is a fresh start. They address Jarrett and Brian Lawler and, using Gilligan’s Island for an analogy, say that they’re in for a shipwreck (which one’s Gilligan?). As for Ron Killings, neither man is very impressed with him, stating that the future is in danger if Ron Killings is that future, stating that Killings isn’t ready.

Syxx gets on the mic, not happy that Lo-Ki, who he claims to like a great deal, is getting a title shot against Killings, a shot he thinks either himself or James should be getting because Lo-Ki isn’t in their league yet and that Truth should be taken care of by them.

Aren’t they supposed to be the babyfaces?

At this point, Killings comes out, claiming that all Pac and James want is his championship. He asserts that he is the future of pro-wrestling and that he only gives title shots to those who are like him and don’t have silver spoons hanging out of, and I quote, ‘their cracker asses’.

By this point, Syxx has had enough of Killings and his race cards and tells killings that the only thing hanging out of his (Killings) ass is going to be Syxx’s foot.

Now, Jarrett comes out to save us all, wondering why Hall is missing from the team and mocking Hall’s well-known substance abuse problems. James takes offense to that, warning Jarrett to keep his mouth shut about Hall since Hall isn’t there to defend himself, or kick Jarrett’s ass. Jarrett replies that he only cares because Hall’s screwed up the card, there’s supposed to be a six-man tag tonight, but it’ll have to be a handicap match: Pac and James vs Jarrett, Killings and…

At this point, Lawler and Elix Skipper sneak into the ring and attack DX from behind. DX gets the upper hand and throws Lawler and Skipper out of the ring where team leader Jarrett corrals his boys.

Tenay and West give us a rundown of the card and say they’ll try to get a hold of Scott Hall to find out why he’s not there.

Amazing Red vs Shark Boy: Red is out first to a good pop. Shark Boy gets an okay pop.  For some reason, Elix Skipper is on commentary and his voice is too annoying to listen to for more than a minute. He sounds like a very annoying Chris Tucker. This match was, despite the stupid shark thing, a pretty okay match. I’m not sure why Shark Boy chose such a stupid gimmick because he’s not a terrible wrestler. Mortimer Plumtree is back, still creepy, and still creepily watching the X-Division.

This match is basically all Shark Boy since Red doesn’t seem to have much wrestling skill outside of flying around. Red finally gets the pinfall after reversing a blockbuster attempt and hitting a Phoenix splash and a standing crossbody splash.

Winner: Amazing Red by pinfall.

Comment: That was an okay opening match.

After the match, Skipper attacks Red, for some reason, security tries to intervene, but it takes Don Harris to finally restore order.

Seriously, dude, hire better security guards.

We get a recap of the end of last week’s Lynn/Killings match and how several members of the X-Division help Lynn retain his title, including Lo-Ki.

Backstage, Goldylocks is talking to Lo-Ki and asks him about his title match against Killings. Lo-Ki promises to get to that, but he’s more concerned with Syxx-Pac’s comments at the start of the show. Unsurprisingly, he’s offended by Syxx-Pac’s comments tells him to mark it down in his book who started what. As for Killings, as far as Lo-Ki sees it, Killings has had it out for the X-Division because they get much more attention than his own title reign. He then says this title match is because he put himself in a position to make a difference because Jerry Lynn got screwed out of being NWA Champion. He says that Truth is unprepared, preoccupied, and unfocused and that he’s going to prove that it’s not the size of the fighter, it’s the size of the fight in the fighter. Or, as Eddie Guererro would say ‘It’s no the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog’.

We were going to get a tag match here, but apparently, Killings didn’t like what Lo-Ki had to say. For those keeping score, the reason Lo-Ki was given a title shot has changed for the third time. First we were told that it was because he helped Lynn beat Killings last week, then Killings claimed that he gave him the shot because Lo-Ki didn’t have a silver spoon hanging out his ass, now Killings is claiming that he gave Lo-Ki the shot because he felt sorry for him. He repeats that Lo-Ki will have to kill him to take the title. He then tells Lo-Ki to get his punk ass out there, so the NWA Heavyweight Championship match is happening now.

FYI: While this was going on, the crowd was chanting ‘Overrated’ at Killings.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ron Killings vs Lo-Ki: Well, whatever the motive is for giving Lo-Ki a title shot, the match is a happenin’! Killings is on Lo-Ki as soon as Lo-Ki slides in and we’re on.It takes a couple of minutes for Lo-Ki to get his bearings, but once he does, we have a real match.

Unlike Killings’ previous title defenses, this one is actually worth watching again. Killings and Lo-Ki worked really well together and there was good chemistry. Killings tried to steal the win by blatantly putting his feet on the ropes for leverage. It actually looked like Lo-Ki could pull this one out, but Killings hit his True Conviction, a sitout facebuster from the second turnbuckle and that is the end of that.

Winner: Ron Killings by pinfall.

Comment: That was really good.

Killings gets back on the mic, but before he can say anything, he’s jumped from behind by someone in a white hoodie and white ski-mask, because having a light skinned person in a hood and a covered face beating up an African American man doesn’t look bad or anything. It’s ‘edgy’.

Anyway!

Back to our regularly scheduled match. The Maximos are taking on the Flying Elvises to win a shot at the Tag Team Champions next week.

The Maximos vs Jorge Estrada and Jimmy Yang: Both teams get pretty good pop. This will be the first outing of the Elvises since Sonny Siaki officially left the group last week.

Unrelated note: I’m not sure who ‘Athena’ is as far as TNA goes, but she seems to have a lot of fans in the crowd who want to see her wrestle.

Anyway, this match was ‘eh’. The Maximos were really outmatched by the Elivses at every step and there were a lot of botches. Added to all that was Mortimer Plumtree, who still seems to be scouting the X-Division, and Sonny Siaki, who seems to be watching his old crew from the ramp.

For some strange reason, Siaki jumps on the apron, acting like he wanted to be tagged in, for an equally strange reason, Estrada believes him and goes for the tag, only for Siaki to get off the apron and head to the back, leaving his former teammate to his fate. The Maximos hit their elevated double team DDT and that’s it.

Winner: Maximos by pinfall.

Comment: What the hell was that?

Backstage is trying to get an interview with Siaki when Siaki is attacked by Jerry Lynn. Siaki is saved by Styles, who holds Lynn for Siaki to hit while yelling ‘stop’ at the same time. To add further insult to injury, they stuff Lynn in a production case, AJ sits on it and tells Siaki that he’s lucky that Bob Armstrong didn’t see it.

Uh…yeah.

Sonny Siaki vs David Young: Well, Siaki’s back to an okay pop and he’s greased himself up at some point. Anyway, his opponent is David Young, a hapless guy who had the misfortune of having Bobcat for a manager. Apparently, Young has ditched Bobcat, much to Borash’s relief and is focusing on being a top competitor.

This match was pretty good, but not a standout. This is basically the third X-Division match of the night and the crowd’s getting bored. Young is trying to hang, but this match is just blah. Young had a chance to get a pin but chose to go for a moonsault instead and missed when Siaki moved out of the way. Siaki hits his Money Clip and that’s that.

Winner: Sonny Siaki by pinfall.

Comment: That was an okay match, but after at least three high-flying matches, this didn’t really stand out.

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Chairshot Classics: NWA-TNA Episode 14: Hard Day’s Reset

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This week, TNA will have its hands full with three former members of DX/NWO in the same building. Ron Killings stirs up the X-Division. Wildcat and Storm have their first title defense, and AJ Styles and Lo-Ki face off in a 2-out-of-3 Falls match to determine the new #1 Contender for the X-Division Title.

How’d they do? Let’s find out!

 The crowd in the Asylum is hot. Tenay gives a quick rundown of tonight’s card before we’re interrupted and sent to the back, where Jerry Lynn is beating up Sonny Siaki for his actions last week. Siaki finally gets his wits together and starts fighting back, but Lynn is too angry. When security try to break things up, they get beat up by Lynn and Siaki. Don Harris finally restores some order.

West and Tenay again try to run down the card and we’re told that Jerry Lynn will defend the X-Division Title against Ron Killings in a Lumberjack Match and the Lumberjacks will be members of the X-Division. Tenay says that when he talked to Killings about it, Killings said that everything he reads about TNA is talking about the X-Division, so his solution is to take out the X-Division.

Amazing Red vs Sonny Siaki: Red is out first to a pretty good pop. Siaki is out to little reaction and he’s not in his Elvis threads. Red gets the jump on Siaki, targeting Siaki’s ribs. This match was actually pretty good. There was a real contrast in styles between Red and Siaki, but it worked here. Red didn’t really have a chance, but it was a fun match to watch. During the match, Mortimer Plummer was spotted near the ramp taking notes on what was going on. Siaki finally got the pinfall by hitting Red with a neckbreaker after ducking one of Red’s high-flying moves.

Winner: Sonny Siaki by pinfall.

Comment: Match wasn’t much to write home about, but it was very enjoyable.

After the match, Jorge Estrada comes out and he tells Siaki that Siaki’s pulled the wool over Estrada’s eyes for the last time. He’s giving Siaki until the end of the night to turn his jumpsuit. Reminder, Siaki was not wearing his Elvis jumpsuit during this match, so I don’t think he really cares.

Backstage, Amazing Red has his own problems. He’s getting jumped by Killings, who claims that he’s taking out ‘them’ before they get him.

Table Match for the NWA-TNA Tag Team Championship: Chris Harris and James Storm vs Ron Harris and Brian Lee: Harris and Lee are out first to a pretty good reaction. We get a recap of last week’s Gauntlet for the Gold and Tag Team Championship match. Storm and Wildcat are out next to a great reaction and Storm is still doing the silly cowboy thing. This match was not good. Apparently, no one in TNA watched a Table match from WWE or ECW because the match was basically a regular Tag match with tables instead of pinfalls or submissions. One of the deviations from a regular Table Match is that putting both opponents through tables isn’t required since AMW only put Lee through a table.

Winner: Storm and Wildcat.

Comment: Bleh.

Harris isn’t going to take another defeat lying down and attacks Wildcat and Storm and puts Storm through a table. Security tries to restore order, but it takes a run in from Don Harris to calm things down.

We go to a previously recorded video with Goldylocks out in the rain, trying to get an interview with Bruce, when Bruce is attacked by an older lady. She cusses Bruce out, much to his amusement. He’s less amused when she slaps him.

Back in the ring, Killings is out. In his usual charming manner, he tells Trashville to shut up because he’s got something to get off his chest. He talks about being raised in the projects and asks if the audience knows what it’s like to sleep with rats. He then claims that his winning the NWA championship meant that there wasn’t prejudice after all, but he was  wrong. It’s still there. There’s no merchandise for The Truth, Ricky Steamboat, who initially gave Killings his title match, is gone, and now Killings is having a Lumberjack match against Jerry Lynn, but all the Lumberjacks are members of the X-Division! Where’s Killings backup? Where’s his posse.

Ron, you’ve insulted just about everyone in the company at some point.

At this point, BG James, Killings’ former partner and mentor, comes out. After telling Killings that his penis was his posse, James tells Killings that he’s acting like a prima donna and reminds us that he (James) brought Killings to the WWE and gave him a start.

Killings replies that James didn’t bring him to WWE to help a young guy get a start, he says that James brought him to WWE because James needed someone to carry him and that someone was Ron Killings. Killings then claims that he extended a hand in friendship to James and that James ignored him. He then says that TNA is HIS house and as long as James is there, he’s Killings’ bitch.

That did it and the fists start flying. Killings ends up beating a retreat, leaving James in the ring. James says that, unlike Demi Moore and Tom Cruise, he can handle the Truth.

Backstage, Goldylocks is with Brian Lawler, who has finally found his…I’m not sure what she is at this point, April. When Goldy asks, Lawler tells her that what happens between him and April is their business, even though he’s been making everyone else’s business for weeks and there are no issues. He then yells at April for speaking to Goldy for some reason.

Okay, I’m not loving where this storyline has gone.

2-Out-Of-3 Falls Match For the X-Division #1 Contendership: AJ Styles vs Lo-Ki:  Styles gets a pretty good pop, as does Lo-Ki. We’re reminded that whoever wins this match is the #1 Contender and the loser goes to the very back of the line.

First Fall: AJ dominates the first part of the match, demonstrating the headstand counter to headscissors that Deonna Purrazzo has made famous. One thing I’ll say for both these guys is that their wrestling isn’t all highspots, there’s seriously wrestling in with the high spots which makes it very fun to watch. Lo-Ki is the clear favorite of the crowd.

Lo-Ki would get the win with his Dragon Clutch.

Score: 1-0, Lo-Ki

Winner: Lo-Ki by submission.

Comment: Really great start.

Second Fall: Styles is a wounded animal now. If he doesn’t win now, he’s out, so he’s going all out, balls out. Lo-Ki, however, can smell victory and fights back, neither man can afford to lose this. Lo-Ki goes for the Dragon Clutch, but Styles counters with a Samoan Drop outside of the ring.

Styles would get the pin after rolling through a Frankensteiner counter to a powerbomb.

Score: 1-1, we are tied.

Winner: AJ Styles by pinfall.

Comment: Another really great match.

Third Fall: It is sudden death and everyone’s done playing. Lo-Ki damn near takes Styles’ head off with a kick. Things get nasty in a hurry with Styles targeting Lo-Ki’s knee. Lo-Ki fights back, but without being able to get in those nasty AF kicks of his, he’s a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest.

There was a really sloppy pin attempt with Styles trying to put his feet on the ropes but Lo-Ki got out of it. Styles got the pinfall with a Styles Clash. He’s the new #1 Contender for the X-Division Title and Lo-Ki’s at the back of the line.

Winner: AJ Styles.

Comment: This match was really good. It got a little sloppy towards the end because both guys were getting tired, but they pulled no punches. The downside of Lo-Ki was shown when his knee was taken out because kicking is basically his moveset and that hurt the match because he had nothing to fall back on.

Backstage, Goldy is with Jeff Jarrett, who hasn’t been having a lot of luck in TNA. She asks about the new arrivals, who are aligned with Scott Hall. Jarrett insults Goldy for suggesting, with a great deal of justification, that his championship aspirations have been derailed, stating that nothing has been derailed. He’s still focused on the NWA Title and Scott Hall and his friends are just obstacles.

I’m WAITING for Goldy to just pop one of these idiots in the mouth. Let Hall and Syxx be an example of being cool without being a macho a**hole to women.

ANYWAY! Back to the ring for the next match!

Brian Lawler and Elix Skipper vs Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac: Skipper doesn’t get a great reaction and botches his signature backflip. Lawler has April with him and it’s not clear what’s going on since Lawler is treating April pretty rottenly. Syxx-Pac and Hall get a great reaction. This match was hard to get into because Lawler kept acting like a spaz about April, yelling at her for nothing. Even Hall and Pac were like ‘Dude, WTF?’. Finally, April is…encouraged to sit down and we finally get Lawler focused, somewhat, on the actual match.

In an interesting twist on how tag matches usually go, bigger guy Scott Hall takes most of the punishment. At one point, Lawler’s treatment of April gets so crazy, Don West comes to check on her and gets attacked by Lawler, which leaves Elix Skipper having to deal with Hall and Pac on his own. Lawler tries to save his partner, but he’s quickly sent back out by Hall. Syxx finally gets the pin after countering a high spot by Skipper into a face buster.

Winner: Scott Hall and Syxx Pac by pinfall.

Comment: That was okay, but the Lawler storyline is not wowing me.

As Hall and Pac are celebrating, Jeff Jarrett comes out and cleans house with some help from Lawler, for some reason, and Skipper.  Finally, Ron Harris restores order.

Wasn’t Lawler trying to kill Jarrett a few weeks ago?

Anyway, backstage, Goldylocks is with AJ Styles who is in very good mood and is dancing badly. Styles owns up to being cocky and having a big mouth, but he’s the best wrestler in the world, so who cares. For some reason, he’s also hitting on Goldy, which she isn’t having.

Come on, Goldy, just punch ONE of them!

Kid Kash vs Jorge Estrada: Kash gets a good pop. Jorge doesn’t get quite as good a reaction.

This match was okay. It was all Estrada and Kash barely got in any offense, which stunk. Mortimer Plumtree was back, for some reason. Another weird thing was the ref counting two even though he was in the wrong position to see Kash’s shoulder come up. Estrada gets the pinfall after a springboard flip.

Winner: Jorge Estrada by pinfall.

Comment: Eh.

After the match, Estrada gets on the mic and repeats his demand to Sonny Siaki: Turn in your jumpsuit. Siaki comes out and claims that there was a misunderstanding and he didn’t want things to end like this. A claim that is proved blatantly false when we’re shown a video of Siaki BURNING the Elvis jumpsuit while a horrified Goldylocks looks on, calling it a ‘Hunka Hunka Burning Crap’. Estrada flips his lid, as can be imagined.

Eh on this segment, and they definitely lose points for mangling an Elvis hit.

There seem to be some technical glitches giving us the rundown of the Killings/Lynn issues for a couple of seconds, but here we go.

Lumberjack Match for the X-Division Championship: Jerry Lynn vs Ron Killings: For some reason, the Lumberjacks come out to Lynn’s music and they’re not getting much reaction, and neither does Lynn or Killings, to be honest. Lynn gets the jump on Killings and we’re off! This match was okay, but like last week, there was no real chemistry between Killings and Lynn. Someone seems to have forgotten to tell Kash that he’s there to support Lynn because he attacks Lynn when Lynn was thrown out of the ring.

While this was going on, Styles is on the top of the ramp, posing with a ladder, implying that that’s the match he wants and he honestly looks like an idiot. Killings’ disrespect of the X-Division bites him in the ass when Red and one of the Maximos distract the ref by calling his attention to Killings low blowing Lynn, which gave the opening to Lo-Ki who distracted Killings and then dazed him with a solid kick to the head, letting Lynn get the pinfall victory.

Winner: Jerry Lynn retains by pinfall.

Comment: Eh match, loved the ending with the X-Division getting back at Killings.

In the ring, Killings is having it out with Scott Armstrong, livid at what happened, but he’s getting no sympathy since he picked the fight with the X-Division.

West gives us his weekly ‘PLEASE keep us employed and tune in next week!’ pitches.  After that, we go straight to the Main Event.

Jeff Jarrett vs BG James: Jarrett is out first to a good reaction. James comes out and after having to restart his usual entrance shtick since Borash doesn’t seem to have known how Road Dogg does an entrance. This grudge match from 1996 was actually not completely awful. James was pretty out of shape and sloppy in some places, but Jarrett sold his ass off and made James look fantastic. James got a DQ win after Skipper and Lawler run in and attack James.

Winner: BG James by DQ due to outside interference.

Comment: That was okay, not a barn burner but it wasn’t godawful.

After the match, Hall and Pac run in and help James fend off Jarrett and company until a still irate Killings runs in and takes people out with the NWA belt. The show ends with the heels standing tall.

Overall Comments: Where has this show been? This wasn’t a great episode but compared to some of the sludge that had been showcased, it was a damn near masterpiece. It seems Vince Russo had his pen taken away again, thank God. Granted, this episode wasn’t Shakespeare, but compared to previous weeks, it was pretty close. There were still a few…plotholes.

  1. The shift in the Lawler/April storyline. When this storyline started, it was clear to anyone with two eyes that April was manipulating Lawler. Now, Lawler comes across as controlling and borderline abusive.
  2. Lawler/Jarrett. If you recall, Lawler was attacking Jarrett and claiming that Jarrett had done something to April. Now, he and Jarrett are friends again.

I’m still not happy with the treatment of women, but Jarrett did a good job of toning down the macho a**holeness of previous weeks, but there’s still a LOT of room for work.

I’m not sure what the heck they’re doing with Styles’ character. His match was superb, but the interview backstage was odd and made him look like an idiot.

Stinkers: Estrada vs Kash.

Snoozers: Killings vs Lynn, though the ending saved it.

Match of the Night: Styles vs Lo-Ki

Final Thoughts: This was another reset and overall it was pretty good aside from the few bugs.


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Chairshot Classics: NWA-TNA Episode 13 – Talking and Tag Teams

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After a two week hiatus and nearly going out of business, TNA is back with all new action. We’re going to crown new NWA Tag Team Champions, Jerry Lynn will have the chance of a lifetime against Ron Killings, Styles and Kash will face off in a dream match and much more! So let’s see how things are going!

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Goldylocks welcomes us to the show and lets us know that we’ll be having a Gauntlet for the Gold match to determine the new Tag Team Champions. Joining her is Scott Hall, who will be joining the tag team tournament. Hall’s in a good mood and, unlike a lot of wrestlers, doesn’t give Goldy crap when she brings up when things didn’t go well for him. He says that he’s not done with Jarrett, but right now, he’s buzzed about the Tag Team Tournament because he’s got a great partner to go for the gold with: Sean Waltman, aka 1-2-3 Kid/Syxx/X-Pac. Waltman looks great and like he’s put on some muscles. Waltman apologizes for not wanting to talk to Goldy, saying that he and Hall have catching up to do.

(Take note other TNA wrestlers: You don’t have to be a dick towards a woman to be cool!)

Tenay and West give us a rundown of tonight’s card. I hate West’s UGLY shirt. The crowd is jazzed about TNA being back. We’re also getting a champion vs champion match: Jerry Lynn vs Ron Killings. If Jerry Lynn wins, he’ll be TNA’s first Triple Crown Winner. For some unknown reason, Dustin Diamond from ‘Saved by the Bell’ is going to be here. We’re also hoping to find out who the masked Bullet is.

We see a video of Brian Lawler yelling at Goldy to not talk to him, even though she wasn’t, because he’s waiting on someone, who turns out to be Jarrett, who is not in the mood. He ‘slams’ his rolling suitcase into Lawler before anything really starts and tells him enough! He never touched Lawler’s girlfriend. Jarrett seems to be genuinely trying to talk some sense into Lawler but Lawler isn’t listening.

In real time, Jarrett’s in the ring and he’s done playing around. Jarrett’s done with Bob Armstrong’s BS, he’s going to unmask the masked Bullet one way or another, or Bob’s going to get his Depends beaten off. (Ew)

When Armstrong doesn’t appear, Jarrett makes good on his threat. He manages to grab Armstrong but is waylaid by the Blank. After a brief brawl, the Blank, who is unsurprisingly revealed to be Brian Armstrong, aka, The Road Dogg Jesse James. What’s the youngest of the Armstrong brood doing here? Well, for one, he doesn’t appreciate Jarrett attacking his father, Bob, and for another, he blames Jarrett for the ‘career suicide’ Dogg performed when he walked out of WWE. Apparently, even joining DX and having great runs as tag champion, and Hardcore Champion wasn’t enough and now Dogg is here to even the score. Jarrett seems even less impressed with this than I am. James also announces that he will find himself a tag partner and join Gauntlet for the Gold.

Backstage, Goldylocks is with two-thirds of the Flying Elvises and it seems that Sonny Siaki has had a change of heart. The last two weeks have shown him that it’s not all about him and that the Flying Elvises will be part of Gauntlet for the Gold and that he’s cheering for Jerry Lynn to capture the NWA Championship from Ron Killings.

AJ Styles vs Kid Kash: Kid Kash gets a minimal pop, as does Styles, which is odd, or it could be that the audio on my computer is bad. Styles cuts a pre-match promo, trashing Siaki’s comments, saying that the only thing supporting Lynn is Lynn’s jockstrap. Like last week, he promised Lynn that their issues aren’t over.

This match was really good. Even though both competitors were technically heels, the match more than made up for it. There were plenty of high spots and plenty of mat wrestling. This match really had it all, depending on your tastes.

Styles would pick up the victory after a Styles Clash off the second rope. The crowd gives both guys a standing ovation for a really great match.

Winner: AJ Styles by pinfall.

Comment: I have a feeling this will be the highlight of the evening.

We go back to Goldylocks who is interviewing a familiar face: Marcus Bagwell, who was last seen walking out of TNA having relinquished his ‘Buff’ name after a disappointing loss in the first tag team tournament. When asked about why he was there, Bagwell said that ‘Buff’ Bagwell has gotten a lot opportunities, but he’s here for a second chance and to show what Marcus Alexander Bagwell can do.

As he’s talking, he’s approached by Road Dogg, who was liking what he was hearing and offers Bagwell the chance he was looking for: Join Road Dogg in the Tag Team Gauntlet for the Gold. Bagwell accepts, and we have manly hugging. Isn’t it lovely?

At ringside, Jeremy Borash introduces our celebrity guest: Dustin Diamond, aka, Screech from Saved by the Bell. Apparently, Dustin was involved in a celebrity boxing thing and now thinks he’s the next Mike Tyson. He starts challenging people at ringside to a match before West puts for the idea Tiny, the Timekeeper, who is a big guy with no muscle tone. Tiny agrees and we’ve got ourselves a trainwreck…er, a match!

Backstage, Goldy has her hands full with the Hot Shots, who apparently aren’t a part of the Gauntlet for the Gold Match. According to the Hot Shots, they, very generously, gave up their spot so younger guys could have a chance. According to Goldylocks, they aren’t in because they’re the 10th ranked team and didn’t make the cut. The Hot Shots aren’t happy with being exposed and storm off.  As they’re leaving, Goldy is approached by Disco Inferno, who is looking for Brian Lawler. Goldy tells him that it’s not her night to watch Lawler, so she hasn’t seen him. Disco apparently missed the Outsiders’ lesson that being a dick to women doesn’t make you cool and insults Goldy before storming off.

Boxing Match: Dustin Diamond vs Tiny the Time Keeper

 This match is happening, not sure why. Three one minute matches, Marquis of Queensbury and all that. This was a trainwreck that Diamond won in less than a minute.

 Winner: Dustin Diamond by KO.

Comment: That happened.

 

Jimmy Rave/Wylde vs Ace Steele/CM Punk vs Hot Shots

Jimmy Rave and Wylde are out first to little reaction, as are Punk and Steele. Punk has bleached blonde hair. Hot Shots get no reaction either, despite their early 90s inspired tangerine tights. We get a little clarification on Goldy’s comments: While Hot Shots weren’t originally in Gauntlet for the Gold, if they win this Triple Threat Match, they will be in. The rules are a little odd, it’s a Triple Threat, but whichever team is pinned is the only one that will be eliminated from Gauntlet for the Gold, the other two teams will advance.

This match was actually pretty good. I always like seeing future big stars when they’re first starting out, even if it’s someone I can’t stand, like CM Punk.

Hot Shots lived up to their name as the arrogant heels of this thing, which ended up costing them after Rave hit his version of the Gory Special on Cassidy. According to the rules, Rave/Wylde and Steele/Punk both advance to the Gauntlet for the Gold.

Winner: Rave/Wylde, Steele/Punk.

Comment: This was one of those instances of making things overly complicated.

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