Lucha Underground Season 4, “Ultima Lucha Cuatro – Part 2”
It’s the finale of Ultima Lucha Cuatro! Will Johnny Mundo survive Matanza Cueto? Who will be the Lucha Underground Champion after a deadly Cero Miedo Match?
Gifs can be found on http://frentique.tumblr.com/
- Best 2 out of 3 Falls: El Dragon Azteca Jr. VS Fenix; Fenix wins.
- Death Match: The Mack VS Mil Muertes; Mack wins.
- Sacrifice to the Gods Match: Matanza Cueto VS Johnny Mundo; Mundo wins and is not sacrificed.
- Lucha Underground Championship Cero Miedo Match: Marty “The Moth” Martinez VS Pentagon Dark; Pentagon wins and becomes the new Lucha Underground Champion.
- Lucha Underground Championship, Gift of the Gods Cash-In Match: Pentagon Dark VS Jake Strong; Strong wins and becomes the new Lucha Underground Champion.
PLAY BY PLAY
The Worldwide Underground prepare for tonight.
Namely, Johnny Mundo air guitars with his new Gauntlet of the Gods. “This thing is gonna look so sweet mounted on the wall of my dojo.” If he ever takes it off. And Taya reminds him it’s their dojo now. Right, of course. But it’ll look even better with the blood of Matanza on it. Mundo wants to give it another test run, and the power courses through his body. Taya will be there just in case, right? She wouldn’t miss it for the mundo. Clever. But if Mundo fails, never to be seen again, just know he loves you, Taya. “I love you, too.” Rosa…? “You’re so pretty.” Thanks? But she doesn’t have a string… Rosa knows Taya is the Perfect Woman. And the perfect host! Rosa is going to possess Taya?!
Best 2 out of 3 Falls: El Dragon Azteca Jr. VS Fenix!
The Heir of the Eagle Tribe is a friend to Melissa Santos, but Melissa’s heart belongs to Fenix. However, Fenix’s soul is left tainted with darkness after Aerostar used Catrina’s stone to resurrect him. Can Azteca help bring back Fenix’s humanity? Or will the darkness only grow stronger?
Lucha Underground returns as the bell rings. Fenix glares at Melissa, but then rushes Azteca. Azteca dodges and kicks but Fenix dodges to CHOPS! Azteca chops back and it’s a chop fight! Fenix back hands but Azteca kicks, kicks and enziguris! Then he slides under, for another enziguri! Azteca runs, but Fenix somersaults for a cutter! Fans fire up as Fenix brings Azteca into a waistlock. Azteca blocks and fights out, Fenix shoves him. Azteca mule kicks Fenix, then hops up, but Fenix kicks out his legs! Fenix has Azteca hung up on the second rope, and shovels him onto his shoulders. Electric chair spin, but Azteca tries a huricanrana. Fenix blocks that and brings Azteca back up, but Azteca makes it a Code Red! Cover, TWO!
Azteca dropkicks Fenix down, Fenix bails out. Fans rally, Azteca springboards and FLIES! He wipes Fenix out but Believers fire up. Azteca puts Fenix back in the ring, then climbs up top. Fans duel as Azteca leaps! Fenix rolls out of the way so Azteca rolls through his 450. Fenix boots Azteca to a corner, then runs corner to corner, into a boot! Azteca hops up but gets a SHORYUKEN! Fenix brings Azteca out, spinning muscle buster! Cover, Fenix gets the first fall!
Azteca: 0 – Fenix: 1
The Black Bird takes the lead, but his eyes lock back on Melissa. Fenix goes to a corner, the second fall begins when we return from break!
Lucha Underground returns, and Fenix is bringing in chairs! Azteca is vulnerable as Fenix wedges a chair in a corner. Fenix goes back out, to bring out a table! Azteca stirs as fans rally up. Fenix sets the table up on the outside, then he fetches Azteca. Fenix brings Azteca up in a waistlock, for a German Suplex! No cover as Fenix drags Azteca by his mask over to the corner with the chair. Fenix runs in, but Azteca dodges. Azteca runs in for a clothesline, then rolls and comes back for a forearm. He rolls Fenix, slides and calf kicks FEnix down! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up for Azteca as he and Fenix grind foreheads. Fenix shoves but Azteca moves to hit the DDTJ! Cover, Azteca gets the second fall!
Azteca: 1 – Fenix: 1
Things are all tied up super fast, and now we can go into the final fall! But Antonio Cueto decides to come out at this point. “Papa Cueto” says that this match has already been quite a show. But now we need to take it to the next level! “After all, this is Ultima Lucha.” Therefore, this final fall shall be… Falls Count Anywhere! The stakes are raised, as is that chair by Fenix! He SMACKS Azteca in the head! The Believers are thunderous for this final round, but we go to break!
Lucha Underground returns again, and Fenix clubs Azteca down. He pushes Azteca out, and he “borrows’ chairs from Believers. Fenix makes a pile of wood then puts Azteca back in the ring. He brings Azteca to that side of the ring where the table is, and goes for a suplex. Azteca holds on for dear life, then kicks Feniz off the apron! Fenix’s face bounces off the table! Fans fire up as Azteca goes out to fetch Fenix. Azteca brings out steel chairs, and THROWS one at Fenix’s face! They go around the corner and Azteca throws Fenix into the announce desk! Azteca has the Believers on his side as he brings out yet another table. The only one not really enjoying this fight is Melissa, as it is friend and lover fighting it out.
Fenix hits Azteca, they brawl, Fenix gets a German Suplex! Bridging cover, TWO! Azteca survives, so Fenix brings out a third table. And then a fourth! Fenix arranges these tables in the ring and Believers like that. Fenix runs in but Azteca dodges to send him into the post. Azteca kicks Fenix from the post, then springboard missile dropkicks! Believers rally up as Azteca takes care of the tables in the ring. He fetches Fenix on the outside but Fenix hits him. They have another chop fight back and forth, fast and furious! Azteca gets another DDTJ, to the floor!! But Azteca can’t make a cover, so he goes for that original table.
Azteca goes up to the bleachers, but Fenix follows. Fenix goes after Azteca at the rails as fans beg “Please Don’t Die!” The two brawl while trying to throw the other over. Both men stand, Azteca SUPER STEINERS! Fenix clips the table and fans lose their minds! Cover, TWO!! Fenix lives, so Azteca puts him in the ring. Azteca hits Fenix away but slingshots into a SHORYUKEN! Fenix goes out to fetch Azteca, and they go to the second table. Fenix reels Azteca out for forearms, then puts him on the wood. Fans duel as Fenix climbs up. Melissa can barely watch as Fenix SUPER SWANTONS! The table doesn’t break, but maybe one of the two luchadores did… Believers know “This is Awesome!” as Fenix drags Azteca around the corner.
Fenix CHOPS Azteca then puts him on the apron. He tucks Azteca for a muscle buster but Azteca gets out to boot back. Azteca then climbs, but Fenix follows. Fenix stops Azteca up top, then joins him, and Melissa begs someone else do something to stop them. Azteca fights Fenix off, turns things around, then throws hands. He hits a SUPER Victory Roll Bomb, through a table!! Cover, TWO!? Fenix survives and Melissa is physically ill. Believers are losing their minds again as Azteca throws in more chairs. Azteca is armed with steel, and Believers rally up. He aims at Fenix, but Melissa tells him no! They’re friends, aren’t they? She says this isn’t Fenix’s fault, he’s not himself. But then Fenix SMACKS Azteca! And he scares Melissa off!
Fenix aims at Azteca, and SPEARS him through the third table!! Believers lose their minds again as Melissa begs for this to stop. Fenix sits Azteca on the top rope for a CHOP! Then, another Black Bird muscle buster! Cover, Fenix wins!
Winner: Fenix, by pinfall, wins 2-1
Melissa may have just cost Azteca the win, and Fenix his soul. Will the Dark Flame rise and take over the Temple?
Antonio Cueto is ringside again.
“Love makes you do strange things, huh?” Melissa refuses to be out here after what just happened between Fenix and Azteca, but luckily Antonio has been in “intense negotiations” as of late. And as of just earlier tonight, Antonio has made a blockbuster deal with an incredible talent! This person is lucha royalty! Antonio introduces the guest ring announcer for the rest of Ultima Lucha, Shaul Guerrero! A major get from the family of lucha libre! Shaul picks up the mic, and is honored to be here. But it’s time to get the action going again! She makes the introductions for this following–
Wait, Famous B comes out? He’s introducing himself as the one true guest ring announcer of The Temple. Fans disagree, and tell B to “Git!” But Famous B ignores them to head into the ring. He brushes Shaul aside, staking his claim as the only guest ring announcer. And he tells her to git! Well, before that, take his card, maybe give him a call. He has no idea who she is nor who her family is, so maybe if she wants to be famous– “Excuse~ me!” Just like mama! Shaul doesn’t know who Famous B is, but she’s gonna straighten him out.
The Guerrero family IS lucha libre! From Gory to Mondo to Hector to Chavo to Chavo Jr, to Mama Vickie and yes, Papa Eddie! Guerreros are lucha libre, but also warriors that “would kick your ass before you even know what hit you, Famous Bitch!” Sick burn, and she throws his card back at him. Famous B is angry as the fans echo Shaul. He figures if she’s too stupid to leave, then he’ll make her! The jacket comes off, but Believers chant “Kick his ass!” But wait, here comes Uncle Chavo! He scares Famous B, Shaul pokes B’s eyes then kicks him for a snap suplex. That’s one amiga! Then a second amiga! Then yes, the THIRD! And to do the honors for the entire Guerrero family, Chavo climbs, and hits the frog splash! They throw Famous B out, and now he can “Git! Git!”
Death Match: The Mack VS Mil Muertes!
Death comes for us all, but the Man of 1000 Deaths embraces the darkness. The urban underdog lost his cousin, Big Ryck, to Muertes’ wrath, but can he outrun the reaper and succeed on Lucha Underground’s biggest night?
Muertes brings a coffin with him, telling Mack now what to expect by the end of this. The bell rings, and Muertes rushes Mack. Mack dodges and throws big haymakers! Muertes pushes Mack back and puts him in the corner to throw heavy hands. Muertes whips corner to corner but runs into a boot. He blocks Mack’s next boot and reels Mack in for a lariat! Muertes drags Mack up as fans duel. He headbutts Mack and whips again, but Mack comes back with a flying enziguri! Muertes staggers but Mack runs in to clothesline him out. Muertes lands on his feet by his coffin, but Mack builds speed to FLY! Mack bowls Muertes over! Believers fire up as Mack says a prayer of thanks. Mack gets Muertes up and rocks him with more haymakers. Muertes hits back, and then bounces Mack’s face off the casket lid.
Muertes moves the casket aside and brings Mack up onto the apron. They brawl with haymakers and forearms while fans duel. Muertes kicks low and gives Mack a DDT to the apron! Believers are stunned silent a moment, but then rally back up. Muertes drags out a second casket?! Well, actually it makes a lot of sense given who Muertes is. Mack hits Muertes and they brawl again by the second coffin. Muertes bounces Mack off the lid again, then drags Mack up on top, for a facebuster! Mack’s head dents the casket! Muertes puts Mack in the ring and stands him up in a corner. Muertes fires off those close-range clothesline! He gets nine, and backs up as fans build the tension. Muertes runs in, but Mack drop toeholds him into buckles!
Mack goes side to side for the forearm smash, then the other way for the boot! Mack gives Muertes a back2back backbreaker! Muertes is down and Mack goes to the far side, to run back in for a cannonball! Fans fire up as Mack has a wild look in his eyes. He drags Muertes to a cover, TWO! Fans duel again as Mack decides to open up Muertes’ first coffin. Behold! An arsenal of brutal weapons! Mack goes for the tools, the kendo stick, the chain, and more, putting them in the ring. But then Muertes DIVES and tackles Mack into the coffin! Fans lose their minds all over again as Muertes stands up. Muertes drags the coffin up, and narrowly avoids the lid biting his fingers off, to go back for the rest of the items: a hatchet, a brick, and a meat hook!
Muertes puts Mack in the ring and brings in the lumberjack ax! This is becoming a horror movie as Muertes drags the ax around. Mack stands, but blocks the ax swing just in time! Mack kicks and gets the ax, but Muertes ducks the swing to give Mack an uppercut! Then the SPEAR! The Devil’s Trident knocks Mack down, but Muertes looks to use even worse on Mack. Muertes picks up the ice pick, and stands Mack up to JAB him in the head! Fans cringe as Muertes makes Mack bleed with more jabs of the steel spike. The referee gets squeamish but Muertes forces him to stay. Muertes brings Mack up and whips. Mack reverses and hits a windmill kick! Both men are down, and Mack has a crimson mask of blood. Mack grabs the chain, and shouts “Kunta Kinte 3000!” before giving Muertes a steel chain punch!
Muertes goes down but rolls to a corner. Mack goes out of the ring to bring in a trash can. Mack returns into the ring and fans rally up. He has the can and places it in front of Muertes. Mack hurries to the other corner, and fans chant it out, Mack leaps for the Coast2Coast! Direct hit on the “Mackinator”! Cover, TWO!! Muertes survives, but Mack still has more to give. He brings Muertes up, but Muertes gets him in a choke grip! And the choke slam! The fans duel as both men crawl to corners. Mack drags himself up, but Muertes runs in. Mack dodges and sends Muertes to the post! Muertes tumbles out and Mack pursues. Mack tears at the black mask of death to add insult to injury! Mack grabs himself a kendo stick, and SMACKS Muertes in the head!
Both men stagger and Mack throws Muertes back in. Muertes stands, and realizes he is dripping blood himself now. Mack runs and hits a jumping DDT! Cover, TWO! Muertes survives but Believers know “This is Awesome!” Mack keeps going because there’s still blood to spill. He swings on Muertes but Muertes spins him around for a BIG lariat! Cover, TWO!! It was so close, but Mack survives. Muertes gets up as fans chant “Lucha! Lucha!” Muertes runs at Mack for a crucifix takedown, but Mack makes it a Samoan Drop, albeit sloppy. Mack kips up and fans fire up! He hits a moonsault! Cover, TWO! Mack is shocked, but his blood helps him focus. He runs, but into the powerslam! Cover, TWO!! Another close call but this match isn’t over yet.
Muertes grows furious but Mack grows confident. Mack throws forearms, but ends up in a Flat Liner!! Muertes crawls to a cover, TWO!? Mack lives?! The look of shock is clear through Muertes’ masks of crimson blood and black leather. Muertes goes after Mack and wants another, but Mack elbows out of the Flat Liner. And elbows, and elbows, and elbows! But then he turns around into the choke grip! Muertes lifts, Mack hits the stunner! Muertes staggers, so Mack hits him with another! But Muertes still hasn’t fallen, so Mack gets that brick. This brick is for Ryck! Then the double dirty birds as Mack tells Muertes to “Go to Hell, you mutha f*cka!” STUNNER!! Cover, Mack WINS!!
Winner: The Mack, by pinfall
Death has been conquered!! Muertes is no longer undefeated at Ultima Lucha, and Mack decides to put the last nail in the coffin. He drags Muertes over to the coffin, and as Believers chant “Put Him In!”, Mack rolls Muertes into his own prop. And to cap it all off, Mack gets some beers, to pour out one for the homeys. And finally, he closes the lid. Does this incredible win mean big things for The Mack next season? Or will death rise again?
Sacrifice to the Gods Match: Matanza Cueto VS Johnny Mundo!
The first sacrifice was the last remaining shred of humanity within the vessel of Antonio Cueto’s last living son. From there, the Monster God of the Temple would dispatch of the dead weight in the locker room. However, he would be unleashed by a psychotic Ricky Mantel Mundo to ruin the Worldwide Underground’s wedding night. The Guru of Greatness was not able to seek revenge himself for a time, thus leaving his friends, Joey Wrestling and Jack Evans, to be preyed upon by the Cuetos. Taya was almost sacrificed if not for the heroic return of Johnny himself! However, knowing Mundo is mortal, the Super Amigos, Drago and Aerostar, felt this was the time to grant someone the power of the Gauntlet of the Gods! Can Mundo use his power-up to take Matanza to #SlamTown? Or will he sadly be the latest and greatest Sacrifice to the Gods?
Antonio hurries out to ringside, having recognized that gauntlet. He shouts that the gauntlet is not Mundo’s to have! It doesn’t matter where he got that gauntlet, but he won’t have it for much longer, as he’ll just end up in a puddle of his own blood on the Aztec seal in the ring! And Matanza now makes his entrance, in new ceremonial, and frightening, garb. Believers already lose their minds seeing this terrifying transformation, but the true terror will begin after the break.
Lucha Underground returns and the bell rings. Mundo and Matanza each sport new gear, and Mundo eggs Matanza on. Matanza runs in, and Mundo gets him with a choke grip! Mundo powers Matanza to his knees! Then throws him backwards! Fans fire up, and Mundo grins with the new found power. Mundo runs in but Matanza avoids the Superman Punch. Mundo still feels great, and swings another punch at Matanza. Matanza avoids it, and goes after the gauntlet itself! Matanza and Mundo struggle, and the gauntlet flies off! It ends up at the stairs, and now Mundo is without his equalizer. Mundo still throws hands, but they do nothing. Matanza hits back but Mundo gives a kick and forearm. Mundo whips but Matanza reverses, but Mundo slides under. Mundo scrambles but Matanza drags him back in. Matanza throws Mundo but Mundo lands on his feet!
Mundo keeps moving, but runs into a pop-up SPINEBUSTER! Matanza looms over Mundo as fans rally up. Matanza drags Mundo up for a torture rack. Running rack Samoan Drop! Then a deadlift German Suplex! Matanza looms over Mundo, and drags him back up, for the fisherman back suplex! Bridge cover, TWO!! Mundo narrowly escapes, but Matanza is still on him. Matanza brings Mundo up to whip, and scoops for Wrath of the Gods, but Mundo counters with a crucifix! Roll through, but Mundo roundhouses and SUPERKICKS! Mundo kicks more, then hits Moonlight Drive! Antonio watches as Mundo drags Matanza to a drop zone. Mundo drags himself up, split leg for the Fin del Mundo! Cover, TWO!! Matanza survives, not even the end of the world can kill a god.
Believers rally up, and Mundo hurries out of the ring. He still wants the gauntlet, but Matanza gets him at the apron! And lifts him right up to the top rope, for a SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX!! Believers lose their minds again as Matanza sits up. The Monster is, for the first time, feeling fatigue. But oh no, Matanza wants the Gauntlet of the Gods?! But knowing Mundo is still near, Matanza leaves the gauntlet alone to go after his prey. Mundo goes under the ring, and Matanza goes looking for the sly Sultan of Sexy. Mundo pops out on the other end, but ducks back in before Matanza can get him. Matanza goes looking under the ring, but Mundo has made it to the stairs! And he gets the gauntlet back! Mundo hurries to put it back on, but Matanza runs him over! Now the gauntlet is on the bleachers.
Matanza moves up the bleachers and fans move aside. Matanza has the Gauntlet, but tosses it up WAY into the rafters?! Mundo hurries to climb up, but Matanza yanks him off the ladder. Mundo fights him off, then hurries up the stairs! Matanza pursues and drags Mundo down. Mundo ducks the punch to SUPERKICK! But Matanza isn’t bothered. Mundo leads Matanza on a chase, and finds a back way up to the top level. Matanza cuts him off at the stairs, but Mundo keeps going up. Mundo flips Matanza off to egg him on. There’s a large gap between where Mundo is above the band, and where Matanza tossed the gauntlet. But Mundo trusts his parkour training, and hops from roof to fuse box to ledge! But Matanza yanks him off, to throw him into the wall!
Believers rally up, they still have faith in Mundo. But Matanza lifts Mundo, and goes to bomb him over rails! Mundo fights off, and gets up to the ledge! Matanza hurries up with a ladder but fans know “This is Awesome!” Mundo crawls to where the gauntlet is, but still has no time to put it on. Matanza grabs him around the throat! And choke slams Mundo through the floor! Mundo goes through wood and is now in the Modelo freezer! Believers lose their minds all over again, and Matanza seems to have won. Antonio directs Matanza back to the ring, and that is where the Monster heads, chair in hand. But wait! The doors open, and Mundo stands! He has the gauntlet on! Mundo has the POWER! And he punches the chair out of Matanza’s hands!
The two head back down the stairs and to the ring. Mundo and his power seems to scare Matanza now! Mundo throws a punch, Matanza dodges, and Mundo hits post! But it doesn’t hurt at all. Mundo swings but Matanza dodges again, Matanza’s running scared! Matanza cowers by the stairs, Mundo uses the apron as a springboard for a Superman Punch into the ground! But Matanza narrowly gets away, and into the ring. Mundo follows Matanza into the ring, and Believers are thunderous. Mundo leaps, but into Matanza’s arms! WRATH OF THE GODS!! Cover, TWO!?! Mundo survives the Wrath of the Gods?! Even Mundo is surprised at how powerful he’s becoming. He gives Matanza a BIG gut punch, then a BIG haymaker. Matanza is staggered, SUPERMAN PUNCH takes him down! And then, as Mundo stares at Antonio, he climbs up top and flips Antonio off.
Antonio is furious as Mundo aims at Matanza. FLYING SUPERMAN PUNCH!! Matanza is down, Mundo turns him over for a cover, Mundo wins!!
Winner: Johnny Mundo, by pinfall
The modern day mix of Adonis and Hercules, Mundo conquers the Monster God! The Gauntlet has given him the power and the glory, but will it give Mundo the world?
Johnny Mundo walks backstage.
The Guru of Greatness feels great with the Gauntlet of the Gods on his arm, but then Aerostar appears and surprises him. Mundo asks if he’s seen Taya, but Aerostar is more concerned with the debt having been paid. Yeah, but Mundo would like to hold onto the gauntlet for a little while longer. Aerostar says that the power Mundo feels is not enhancing him, but destroying him. Mundo thinks Aerostar is just saying that to get the gauntlet back. Aerostar says Mundo only won thanks to the gauntlet. But if he wears it any longer, he’ll be nothing but a shell, as another god inhabits his body.
Mundo feels that power surging, but admits that no one gets to have his perfect body but himself. Aerostar asks for the gauntlet back, and Mundo takes it off. He gives it back to Aerostar, and Aerostar says Mundo’s a good man. Mundo says he’s not. But for now, he’ll go “celebrate” with Taya. Mundo managed to fight off such addictive power, but will there be a nasty surprise waiting for him in the locker room?
Lucha Underground Championship Cero Miedo Match: Marty “The Moth” Martinez VS Pentagon Dark!
The beginning of Marty’s reign has been controversial to say the least. First, the “Creepy Bastard” paid his way into a Gift of the Gods Championship match, and took advantage of a beaten down El Dragon Azteca Jr. Then he paid Antonio Cueto to make it an instant cash-in! And with the help of his Black Widow girlfriend, he took the title from Pentagon after Pentagon had been through a Triple Threat against Mil Muertes and King Cuerno. However, Marty’s the only man crazy enough to think he can beat the Bone Collector at his own game. Will Marty prove there’s a method to his madness? Or will Pentagon again prove that he is the only one truly with #CeroMiedo?
Weapons are already set up, and Believers are thunderous for Pentagon the moment he makes his entrance. And in the complete opposite, the fans rain down boos as Marty makes his way down the stairs. This fight without any rules but to win will begin, after the break.
Lucha Underground returns with the bell, and with Pentagon tossing a chair into Marty’s face! Pentagon goes out to fetch Marty, and bowls him into chairs! Fans are still cheering as Pentagon brings Marty over and around to kick him in the leg. Marty scurries away but Pentagon kicks him again. Pentagon throws Marty into a post, and the champion is busted open! Pentagon tosses items into the ring, such as a trash can full of other items. Fans chant “SI! SI!” as Marty grimaces through his own blood. Pentagon SMACKS Marty with a trash can! The brawl in front of the announce desk, and Pentagon CHOPS and CHOPS Marty. But Marty grins and laughs?! Pentagon kicks Marty in the leg, then bowls him through more chairs!
Pentagon keeps on Marty with stomps and haymakers. He whips Marty at the propped up table, but Marty stops himself. Pentagon runs in but Marty goes to hip toss, only for Pentagon to stop himself. Pentagon hits back, then SUPERKICKS Marty! Marty staggers, but ducks to then hip toss Pentagon through the propped up table! Believers lose their minds once again as Marty enjoys his own crimson mask. Marty stomps Pentagon, then rains down rights. Marty picks up a kendo stick and SMACKS Pentagon! And SMACKS! Pentagon gets into the ring, but Marty has his #AztecPride lunch box. He hasn’t brought this with him in a long time. Marty goes after Pentagon’s mask with bloody fingers! He tears away, but Pentagon resists, so Marty clubs him down.
Marty picks up the lunch box, his blood dripping all over. Marty opens it up, and turns out there’s some leftover beef jerky in there. He snacks on that while digging out what he’s really after: the fork! The same fork he used on Fenix, back when Fenix had a soul and when they were fighting over Melissa Santos. Believers chant “Fork you! Fork you!” as Marty brings the four-pronged weapon over. Just as he did to Fenix, Marty digs into Pentagon’s forehead with the metal silverware! Believers boo, jeer, and some even cringe. Marty tosses the fork aside, and drags Pentagon out of the ring. Marty drops a fist from the apron, then goes back under the ring for plenty of steel chairs. Fans rally for Pentagon, but Marty starts burying Pentagon under chairs. Marty did this to his own sister, Mariposa, not too long ago.
Marty throws chair after chair onto Pentagon, and then SMACKS the entire pile with other chairs. Pentagon manages to get out of the chair pile, and uses one to SMACK Marty in the head! Then Pentagon leaps for a Destroyer to the floor!! Believers lose their minds for about the eighth time tonight while Pentagon puts Marty in the ring. Cover, TWO! The blood continues to flow as this match continues on. Pentagon goes to the trash can, dented and broken as it is, and puts it aside. Marty kicks Pentagon low! There are no rules so that low blow is legal. Marty then hoists Pentagon onto the top rope. He clubs away, then grabs that trash can to put on Pentagon.
Pentagon is in a Tree of Woe with that can around him, and now Marty grabs the barbed wire bat. Marty goes over and swings for the fences on Pentagon! Once, twice, three times, so many times until the trash can splits open! Fans rally up again as Marty digs around under the ring for a can of gasoline! Marty teased doing this before Ultima Lucha, and now he looks to make good on the threat. Marty picks up the bat to hit Pentagon again, then starts pouring on the gas. Pentagon is gasping for air, and Marty pulls out the lighter! Believers love brutality but they don’t want this. Marty holds the lighter up, but Pentagon kicks it away! Marty SUPERKICKS Pentagon then clubs and stomps away as he shouts “Die, Pentagon!”
Believers shout as loud as they can as Marty grabs the bat again. Marty looks to hit another homer, but Pentagon dodges! The bat hits the ropes and comes back to hit Marty! Marty staggers, but grits his teeth and runs at Pentagon. Pentagon hip tosses Marty out and through a table!! Marty is down on the outside while Pentagon is down on the inside. Believers again lose their minds, but then rally behind “Cero Miedo!” with Pentagon. Pentagon gets Marty up and around for a BIG kick. They keep going, and Pentagon aims for the glass! Marty reverses, but Pentagon stops him. Pentagon SUPERKICKS Marty, and throws him through the glass!! Not even Matt Striker can keep from shouting “HOLY SH*T!” The Believers make it an even ten for losing their minds.
Pentagon drags Marty up and around and back into the ring. Marty now bleeds from face and arms, but Pentagon isn’t done with him. Pentagon puts chairs in, and starts setting them up. Fans sing “Ole~! Ole ole ole~! Cero~, Miedo~!” Pentagon brings Marty up onto the half dozen chairs, tucks him in, PACKAGE PILEDRIVER through chairs!! Cover, Pentagon WINS!!
Winner: Pentagon Dark, by pinfall; NEW Lucha Underground Champion
The match is done, the belt returns to its former master, but the carnage is far from over. Pentagon drags Marty into place, but here comes Reclusa! The Black Widow won’t let her man lose an arm along with the gold. But Vampiro has had enough, and gets in the ring. He protects his former protege as he runs off Reclusa and Marty. Vampiro holds the belt and fans again sing “Ole~! Ole ole ole~! Cero~, Miedo~!” Pentagon stands as our first-ever two-time Lucha Underground Champion and the Believers couldn’t be happier for him. Vampiro holds the belt out to Pentagon with respect, and Pentagon takes it. The Bone Collector has come full circle, but the former mentor isn’t happy about it, as he kicks Pentagon in the balls!
But Pentagon doesn’t go down so easy, he kicks Vampiro in the balls, too! The two men from the original Cero Miedo match brawl in the aftermath of this one! They kick and punch each other, but then Vampiro whips Pentagon. pentagon reverses and hits a corner clothesline! Pentagon fires off, but who is this in the skull mask? They SMACK Pentagon with a chair! He takes off that mask to reveal a very similar mask to Pentagon’s own. Vampiro gets a mic, and introduces everyone to his master?! Vampiro throws Pentagon out for The Master, as he climbs up high. Pentagon staggers, as The Master hits a crazy Shooting Star off the camera deck! Believers are confused as Vampiro puts Pentagon back in, for a Crimson Arrow! Just who is this new luchador?
But wait, The Savage, Jake Strong appears! He is the newest Gift of the Gods Champion, and we know now that the title is instant cash-in… Strong tells Pentagon that he can cash in whenever he wants. “Do you hear me?! Whenever I want!” That voice change wasn’t just a trick of the mic… And yes, he’s cashing in!!
Lucha Underground Championship, Gift of the Gods Cash-In Match: Pentagon Dark VS Jake Strong!
The Savage shows no mercy as he picks the bones of the bloodied and battered Bone Collector. And speaking of bones, Strong puts the Ankle Lock on immediately! Fans don’t want this, but they can’t do a thing as Strong snaps Pentagon’s ankle! Pentagon doesn’t tap, but he does pass out. The boos rain down as the match is over!
Winner: Jake Strong, by submission; NEW Lucha Underground Champion
Believers call “Bullsh*t!” but Strong has taken advantage of the new and corrupt system in The Temple. The Savage Era begins as the season ends, where will everything go from here?!
In an undisclosed location…
Aerostar, King Cuerno, and El Dragon Azteca Jr. meet, the Gauntlet of the Gods still in the hands of the Man of Time and Space. Cuerno says the gauntlet is too dangerous, so it must be sent back into hiding. Azteca says Matanza has already grown too strong, but after what Mundo did, they can use the gauntlet to strike The Monster down for good. Aerostar breaks the tie by telling Azteca, “Make it quick.” Azteca says, “She plans to.” And just below them, Matanza Cueto paces. But she walks in, armed with the gauntlets. Now she knows the truth: El Dragon Azteca Primero didn’t kill her parents, but Matanza did! It’s BLACK LOTUS! She’s armed with the Gauntlet, and will finally have her revenge!
Matanza runs in, but into a flurry of strikes! Fiver finger death palm! The Monster’s heart is crushed, and Matanza Cueto is dead. Azteca Jr. says that her parents can finally rest in peace. And so can his master. Lotus returns the gauntlet, but then Strong finds Azteca! Strong attacks quick, and says the gauntlet isn’t Azteca’s to have. Strong breaks Azteca’s ankle, and takes the gauntlet! The Gauntlet belongs “to US!” The Savage now has the gauntlet AND the title! Will he soon have everything in his possession?
Johnny Mundo finally meets up with Taya. Did she see? Babe? She okay? Why wasn’t she in his corner? Okay, he gets it, she wanted him to prove he could do it himself. And he did! Revenge is theirs, but how about that honeymoon? Huh, Mrs. Mundo? “Sorry, Johnny. I’m not your wife.” ROSA HAS CONTROL!! And she uses Taya’s body to beat up Mundo with one hand! “I am a god.” What is the fate of the Guru of Greatness?!
Everything is coming together. “Just as prophesied.” Agent Winter, Antonio Cueto, Vampiro’s Master, they all sit in the limousine together, fully aware that more Aztec gods have taken human form while the Lucha Underground Championship is back under their control. Now on to destroying the Seven Aztec Tribes! Savage joins this dark council meeting, and everyone takes note of the blood on his shirt and on the gauntlet. Sorry to say, it’s Matanza’s blood. But Matanza was a worthy host, “and The Order will never forget his sacrifice.” But now, they need a new host. So says Lord WADE BARRETT!! “Does anyone else have any bad news?” No? Then time to take over the world!
Flashback to one year ago!
When Antonio took Matanza’s key from Dario, Aerostar popped in later, to give HIM the Amulet of Life!! “Come with me.” Dario was alive again, and sprang up in the coffin. “What the f–”
TO BE CONTINUED!!
This was an INSANE finale! And hopefully not a series finale, either. That 2 outta 3 Falls could’ve been better, as that second fall was really quick. However, Fenix winning makes some sense, as they might not be done exploring his darker turn. The Death Match was pretty great, and Mack winning makes sense because he’s been building great momentum as this underdog fan favorite for years. Holy crap Taya is now Rosa in human form, and though Mundo uses the Gauntlet of the Gods to defeat Matanza in epic fashion, it looks like she might’ve killed him. Maybe he should’ve have given the gauntlet up after all, and then there’d be an epic battle of demigods backstage. But oh well, Mundo is busy in Impact so maybe he won’t be around for Season 5.
That Cero Miedo match was the most insane part of this, and man that was a lot of blood. I thought Reclusa would show up sooner, but I guess it didn’t matter when the real screw job was Vampiro and “The Master” beat up Pentagon to leave him for dead and so that Jake Strong could cash in. I had a feeling Strong was going to cash in regardless of the other twists, but this makes him seem even more of a vulture. Of course, now that we know he’s been working with everyone else in this “Order”, it makes sense. I was really shocked to see Black Lotus return to wreck Matanza and kill his character off, but Jeff Cobb being in both NJPW and ROH now must have something to do with it.
Then the twists kept coming at the end as The Order gets the title, the gauntlet and we finally see their leader’s face! PLUS Dario is back from the dead. That’ll get awkward if father and son meet again, since they’re the same actor, though… I have no idea where the story goes from here but it’s fitting to be an epic battle from here on out.
My Score: 8.9/10
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/17/22)
Is Becky Lynch sweatin’ Doudrop?
The Man prepares for the Royal Rumble!
“Doudrop” Piper Niven is coming for the Raw Women’s Championship, and she won’t be Manhandled so easily! How will Becky Lynch counter Piper’s power?
- Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch; Piper & Becky win.
- Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins.
- Finn Balor VS Austin Theory; Theory wins.
- Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley; No Contest.
- Reggie w/ Dana Brooke VS Omos; Omos wins.
- 8 Man Tag: The Street Profits & The Mysterios VS Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez & The Dirty Dawgs; The Street Profits & Mysterios win.
- Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Seth Rollins; Lashley wins, by disqualification.
PLAY BY PLAY
Becky Lynch heads to the ring!
Tulsa, Oklahoma, The Man has come ’round! Fans chant her name as she gets the mic, and she welcomes them to the Big Time! “Now we are less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble, and the Raw Women’s Division has never been hotter. And whether you like to admit it or not, there’s only one person responsible for that, and that’s me.” Becky says it is so hot that there are stars from generations past, like Lita, Mickie James and the Bella Twins, all hoping that they can win the Rumble and challenge the #VanGOAT at WrestleMania. Face it, they need Becky because she makes stars.
Look no further than Doudrop. Becky has kindly given her the biggest opportunity of her life, a taste of the Big Time at one of the biggest events of the year. The people didn’t get her that! Piper Niven didn’t get it for herself. Becky did that! That is what Becky does! She makes people better, than she beats ’em! But Becky will admit that she admires Piper’s tenacity. She came from the rolling hills of Scotland and made a name for herself. Well no, someone else had to make up a name for her. So Becky will shoot it straight for “Doudou.” A doudrop will never be champion so long as The Man is still here.
But speaking of, here she comes! Piper storms right up to the ring, gets herself a mic and says she’s gonna tell Becky something. “You didn’t get me anything. I got myself this title match at Royal Rumble. But if it was really your plan to face me instead of Bianca, than it’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. Just make sure you stay well out of my way tonight.” Becky says she did get Piper that win last week, and if Piper just follows her lead, they’ll get a win here tonight. But here comes Bianca Belair! “Oh, Becky. You really out here spittin’ all this nonsense about being the GOAT, the greatEST of all time, but let me remind y’all that you can’t spell greatest without E S T.”
Bianca joins Piper and Becky in the ring as fans chant for “EST! EST!” Bianca reminds us SHE is the EST of WWE. And Doudrop, uh, okay. The only reason Piper is facing Becky is because Ms. Big Time was so scared of Bianca, she interfered in last week’s match. But girl, uh-uh. That’s just buyin’ time. Because Bianca is officially entering the Royal Rumble match! And it’s gonna be every woman for themselves, so if Bianca’s gotta throw out every 29 other women like she did last year, she’ll do it. Then she’ll go main event WrestleMania… again. And Bianca can go after whichever champion she wants, which could be Becky or Piper.
But now, Bianca’s tag partner, Liv Morgan, arrives! “Well, well, well, Bianca. We may be tag teaming tonight, but I am also officially entering myself in the Royal Rumble match. And that’s not all, that’s not all. Because in two weeks, I’m also the one winning it.” But that means Bianca will be one of the 29 she outlasts on the way to WrestleMania. But since we’re on the same page- Piper pretends to snore and then says this is boring. Everyone, shut up and ref, get in here! Piper wants to fight, but it’s Becky who riles up Liv and Bianca, and then uses Piper as a shield! Piper welcomes someone to bring it, but this starts after the break.
Chad Gable prepares a speech.
“Greetings and salutations…” Otis walks over, the valedictorian of The Alpha Academy. Will this graduation ceremony go off without a hitch?
Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch!
Raw returns and the bell rings, and Bianca dropkicks Piper! Piper stays up but Bianca whips. Piper blocks, reverses, but Bianca goes up tot ell Piper to kiss this. Then Bianca leaps over Piper, spins her around and reels her in, but Piper blocks the suplex. Piper suplexes, Bianca slips out and then dodges in the corner! Piper hits buckles, Bianca ROCKS Piper with a forearm, then runs in to ram Piper. Piper rebounds to run Bianca over! Piper runs, Becky tags in! Piper is annoyed with Becky but Becky says she’s got this. They argue, Becky turns around into a dropkick! Bianca kips up, tags Liv, Liv dodges Becky to DECK Piper and SHOTGUN Becky!
Becky is in a corner, Liv back body blocks, then SHINING WIZARDS! Liv whips, Becky reverses but Liv stops to back elbow. Liv goes up to leap and missile dropkick Becky down! Liv then brings Becky around, springboard CODE BREAKER! Cover, Piper breaks it! Bianca gets in to ROCK Piper, but she can’t lift Piper for the torture rack. Piper shoves Bianca into a corner and SPLASHES! Piper runs at Liv but Liv sends her out! Becky rolls Liv up, has feet on the ropes, TWO! Liv kicks low, KICKS again, then runs in, but Becky dodges! Liv elbows Becky again, but runs into a MANHANDLE SLAM! Cover, Piper breaks it?! But that was her own teammate!
Piper drags Becky out of the way, wants to cover, but she’s not legal! So Piper hurries back to her corner, tags herself in, and then runs to SPLASH Liv! Cover, Piper and Becky win!
Winners: “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch, by pinfall
Then Piper celebrates by giving Becky a VADER SEATED SENTON! Piper laughs as she looms over Becky, but will she have the last laugh at the Rumble?
Reggie and Dana Brooke talk with someone.
Reggie knows they’ve faced giants in their career, so can they give Reggie any advice when facing Omos tonight? The person he’s talking to is Edge! Edge thinks, and he tells Reggie that he can do things Edge can’t even comprehend. So he has a chance? Hell no! Beth Phoenix scolds Edge with a smack, and Edge says he still wishes Reggie luck. And Beth talks with Dana real quick. She’s seen Dana bust her butt for years here, so it’s so great Dana has a title. Dana thanks Beth for that, and hurries away to keep up with Reggie. Edge and Beth then see Damian Priest. They shake hands and hug and Priest is happy to see the Grit Couple.
Edge says he likes what he sees with Priest’s other side. Yeah, Priest’s other side is a bit edgy, but being serious here, Priest wants some ideas on the Rumble match. Edge has experience, having won two, one of which he won from starting first. There’s no better man to ask for pointers than Edge. Well cardio is one thing, but the main thing is to keep doing you. Priest’s style is working. Someone brings over a note for Beth, and it’s from Maryse. She wants to meet Beth 1v1, woman to woman. Edge says that’s suspicious. Beth is of course going to go but Edge is going to go with her. Beth agrees, and Edge says he and Priest can talk more later. What will the It Couple have planned for the Grit Couple?
Kevin Owens then walks over to ask Priest something. Kevin is looking forward to their match tonight. Really? Yeah, no lie! He’s looking- Oh, right, because Kevin’s so honest. Yes, especially having a good, clean match. Good competition, show off some technical prowess. But also that side, that nutso, vicious side. That side shouldn’t come out. Kevin is just hoping for them having a good, clean match. Kevin also has an announcement to make, so see you then. Good talk. Kevin and his tie hurries off, but will Priest keep Damian from tearing into the Prizefighter?
Kevin heads to the ring!
The KO Show is back, and tonight’s guest is Seth Freakin’ Rollins! What will Kevin ask his new best buddy? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and Kevin welcomes us to his show. He wishes he could say it’s good to be here in Tulsa, but that would be a vile lie because this place is brutal. Don’t get mad at him telling the truth! And another truth is that Kevin has a very special guest. He is a man Kevin is proud to call his best friend, and after this man beats Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble like he has in a plethora of matches before, he will be called the Universal Champion. Please welcome Seth! FRRRRREAKIN’! ROLLINS~! Rollins makes his way out to the ring, fired up as always, but especially now after having evaded a Bloodline beatdown on SmackDown last Friday.
Rollins takes up a mic and Kevin lets Rollins decide if they sit or stand. Rollins wants to stand, so he and Kevin kick the chairs aside. Kevin thanks Rollins for accepting his invitation to be a guest. Kevin wants to tell Rollins that he admires Rollins so much. There is so much Kevin admires about Rollins. From the great suits, like this striped one. He looks like a million bucks! MAHVELOUS! And even more so, Kevin admires Rollins’ courage. Do people realize how much guts it took for Rollins to show up on SmackDown, into the lion’s den, get face to face with Roman, and berate him into realizing that “The Head of the Table” is only possible because Rollins set the table.
“Yes, yes, yes! Kev, you hit the nail on the head right there!” Friday got a little testy, but the truth is, Roman’s rattled. Roman’s nervous, and dare Rollins say, Roman is scared. He’s scared! You heard it here first! Roman took the low road taking shots at Rollins’ family, sending the Usos after him. But everyone saw that the Usos couldn’t get the job done. Rollins says Roman is playing checkers while Rollins is playing chess! If Roman keeps this up, winning at the Rumble will be like taking candy from a baby. A little baby Roman! And Rollins will turn the title from blue to red and bring the Universal Championship back to their show, Monday Night Raw!
That’s huge! When Rollins wins, he’s staying on Raw with Kevin! Yes, 100%! Incredible! Then that means Raw has the best champion! Raw wouldn’t need Lesnar or Lashley, they’d have Rollins! Kevin again hits the nail on the head. Get rid of Lesnar. Rollins has a match with Lashley tonight, they can get rid of Lashley tonight! Who knows? Kevin likes the sound of that. But he has something of his own to announce and it is “earth shattering.” It will change the face of the industry! Right here and now, Kevin is officially declaring for the Royal Rumble! Rollins says that IS earth shattering!
Kevin will win the Rumble, Rollins will beat Roman, and the WWE Universe will get the match they… well, not deserve. But they’ll get the biggest Mania main-event ever! SETH FREAKIN’ ROLLINS VS KEVIN FREAKIN’ OWENS! Rollins likes where Kevin’s head is at. But here comes Damian Priest! Rollins says this is his time and Kevin’s show! If Priest steps any closer, Kevin will kick his ass! Kevin wants Rollins to stop but Priest tells Rollins to shut up! They’re both delusional idiots! There is not one person on this planet that believes Rollins will win at the Rumble. And Kevin is just a liar, so he isn’t winning, either.
And if Kevin doesn’t want to see Damian, then don’t wake him up. Oh and by the way, Priest talked with Pearce and Sonya. Their match tonight? That starts NOW! Kevin is freaking out, but Rollins tries to encourage him. Will it not matter when the Archer of Infamy takes aim?
In the animal kingdom, the lion bides its time as it hunts its prey. Step by step, until it finally strikes, leaving only scraps for the hyenas. When will the Million Dollar Arm finally strike?
Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens!
Raw returns and the bell rings. They tie up, Kevin waistlocks, but Priest pries free to wrench to a wristlock. Kevin rolls, headlocks, but Priest uses a chinbar to push Kevin back and power out. Kevin rams Priest, but then Kevin apologizes, Things speed up, Priest runs Kevin over with a shoulder! Priest runs in at the corner, but Kevin puts him on the apron! Kevin elbows Priest away, but Priest ROUNDHOUSES back! Priest steps in but into a SHOTGUN! Kevin stomps Priest at the ropes, lets off as the ref counts, then drags Priest to center for a SENTON! Kevin wraps on a chinlock and leans on Priest but fans rally up.
Priest fights up, priest the hold open but Kevin CLUBS him on the back. Kevin CHOPS, whips, but Priest reverses. Kevin KCISK back, CHOPS again, and CHOPS! Priest snarls, but Kevin apologizes again. This is just good, clean wrestling! Priest cools off, but then he fires off fast hands! WHEEL KICK! Kevin goes to a corner, Priest runs in but Kevin bails out. Fans boo, Priest keeps cool, but then Priest goes out the side. Priest runs in around the way, leaps off the steps, into a SUPERKICK! Kevin gets back in the ring to refresh the count, then FROG SPLASHES off the apron! Kevin roars while Priest sputters! Kevin drags Priest up and in as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Priest CLOBBERS Kevin! Fans fire up as Priest aims from a corner, and Priest throws haymakers! Priest fires off KICK after KICK, then a ROLLING ELBOW! Kevin rebounds, into a FLAPJACK! Priest runs at Kevin in the corner, for a big back elbow! Priest reels Kevin in, but Kevin wrenches out to ROCK Priest! Kevin whips, Priest rebounds to LARIAT! Priest gets Kevin up for the BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO! Priest is annoyed but he drags Kevin up. Priest ROCKS Kevin with a right, hoists him up top in the corner and ROCKS him again! Priest climbs up, but Kevin hits back!
Priest and Kevin brawl, Priest gets the edge. Priest brings Kevin up, but Kevin blocks the superplex! Kevin throws body shots, and even a headbutt! Kevin headbutts again, Priest falls down! Kevin adjusts, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives and Kevin thinks of what he has to do now. Kevin aims, kicks but no stunner! Kevin ducks the heel kick, tries gain, but Priest dragon sleepers! But Kevin slips free to pop Priest up, SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives again and Kevin is shocked! Fans rally up, Kevin aims, kicks, but Priest blocks to spin and ROUNDHOUSE! Kevin wobbles into a choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO!!
Priest is shocked that Kevin survives! Kevin rolls away to a corner but Priest follows. Priest throws hands, whips Kevin corner to corner, but Kevin falls, clutching his leg. The ref checks on Kevin, Kevin flounders up saying it’s cramping up. The ref wants a medic to check this, fans boo but Priest isn’t sure what to make of this. But then Kevin suckers him in for a STUNNER!! Cover, Kevin wins!
Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall
Priest was right about Kevin being a liar! But now, Kevin could also be a contender! Will Kevin add the US Championship to his Road to WrestleMania?
Backstage interview with Nikki A.S.H.
What is her plan heading into tonight’s match with former tag partner, Rhea Ripley? Nikki tells Sarah that this is no different than any other match. It is clear to Nikki now that she stands on her own, and she couldn’t feel any better. Rhea should be down and out, completely mortified after being proven the friend Nikki didn’t think she was. But Nikki, you were the one who attacked Rhea- Sarah, you need to get your facts straight! Rhea is the one who broke up the team. Rhea is the one who decided to take their friendship and flush it! She is the villain, not Nikki! And Nikki is the closest thing that the people of Tulsa will ever have to a real hero. She will be the People’s Hero.
And sometimes, heroes have to do things that regular people don’t understand. After tonight, Rhea will realize that she needs a superhero, whether she likes it or not. Nikki strikes her superhero pose and walks away, but will Rhea’s brutality smack some sense into her?
The Alpha Academy heads to the ring.
Pomp & Circumstance plays because today is Otis’ graduation! Will the NEW Raw Tag Team Champions be celebrating on top of their big title victory from last week?
Raw returns and Gable is at the podium. “Greetings and salutations my fellow colleagues and… Oh who am I kidding? I don’t have any colleagues here, considering I’m an Olympian with a Master’s Degree that did it with an immaculate 4.0 GPA! Thank you! Don’t do that. Don’t boo education. That’s gross, everybody.” But it makes sense, since the odds of anyone in Oklahoma having a Master’s, let alone graduating high school, are slim to none! Now shoosh! Tonight is about celebrating. Not just an institution but an individual. Gable could go on and on about himself, because his list is long.
But tonight is about a man who overcame the odds. An absolute tree trunk in the ring and a great student in the classroom. Gable’s prized pupil, his protégé, his number one guy, OTIS! Gable’s so proud. Last week, Otis applied the lessons and passed his final exam by decimating the moronic RKBRO and claimed the Academy’s rightful spot as tag team champions! So tonight, it is Gable’s honor and pleasure- Fans chant with “RKBRO! RKBRO!” They’re trying to have a ceremony for Otis! Gable presents to Otis, who has no last name anymore, the highest graduating honors from the Alpha Academy! The music plays again as they hug it out.
Gable says Otis has the floor. Look at that face! Otis thanks Chad, and says Gable has helped him reach his full potential. But now he has a warning: expect pure carnage for anyone who messes with the titles! They ain’t stopping, and they ain’t ever gonna stop! But here comes Matt Riddle! The Bro is in his own graduation gown, but it has mismatched sleeves… Riddle asks, “What’s up, bros? Big O, you’re looking pretty, pretty tight. And you guys don’t even wanna know what I had to get this graduation gown on time.” But when he got invited to this ceremony, he knew he had to make a very special speech.
Riddle brings out his speech, written on a napkin from this morning’s breakfast buffet. “Fellow graduates and Tulsinians. IT felt like just last week, Randy and I were the WWE Raw Tag Team Champions. We were livin’ on the edge, drivin’ with the top down, lettin’ the wind blow through our hair. We were just a couple o’ young, wild stallions runnin’ free. But today is graduation day. And our lives will change forever. Randy would always say, ‘Life comes at ya pretty fast.'” Gable stops him there, he has no idea what he’s going on about. Riddle was NOT invited to this. And Oklahoma can’t afford to lose another braincell, so just be on your way.
Riddle has “Gablestiltskin” take it easy. Riddle wants to say how proud he is of them. Them and their astronomical necks. See? He can use big words, too, Chad! Gable says Riddle is an idiot. He already ruined Otis’ night, so get to the point. RKBRO wants a rematch? Problem is, Riddle probably can’t even define the word rematch. Riddle so can! A rematch is… uh… when you have to light something up twice! Like a candle! But hey, a rematch sounds like a pretty sick idea. Fans wanna see it! Gable knew it. No wonder Orton left Riddle high and dry. Where even is he? Riddle unzips his gown to show off his “Hey Raaaandy” shirt.
Gable and Otis will give them a rematch, under one condition: they have to prove their mental aptitude in an Alpha Academy Academic Challenge! Otis suddenly looks worried. TO spell it out, it’s Riddle & Randy VS the Academy to prove the smarter team! Because we already saw who the physically dominant team is! Whoa, an academic challenge? Like Billy Madison? Or more like Wheel of Fortune? Riddle loves spinning that wheel, and maybe he and Otis could run in a giant hamster wheel. Gable kinda looks like a jacked hamster, but with three times the brains. Otis is furious and throws off his gown! Riddle wants Otis to back it up and cool off.
Otis storms up the ramp, barking about this being his night! But Orton gets in the ring to RKO Gable!! And then Riddle trips up Otis on the apron! RKBRO got one over on the Academy, and now Orton wears one of the red graduation gowns! Orton gets the mic to then tell the Academy, “We accept!” Will Riddle & Orton get PhDs in kicking the Academy’s asses?
Austin Theory visits Vince McMahon.
Theory thanks Vince for the rematch with Finn Balor. But uh, what’s Vince watching on his TV? It was the previous match, where Finn won. Oh… Theory knows he lost, but then he beat the hell outta Finn and nearly ended his career. In fact, it was like a half victory. No such thing. So tonight, Theory needs to beat Finn and beat him up. If Theory doesn’t, Vince will get someone to drag Theory to this office and Vince will beat Theory up! Smash him all over, and by the time he’s finished, it’ll just be blood, snot and broken teeth. Then Vince will take a selfie with that. And send it to Mama Theory! Oh… Theory has been warned, will he make good on this rematch?
WWE honors Martin Luther King Jr.
“Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. That all men would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” That dream of MLK’s, where we judge not by the color of skin but by character, is still alive. We will all reach the Promised Land together.
Finn Balor VS Austin Theory!
Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. The Prince is back after being out a month, will he make Theory pay for every minute he’s missed? The bell rings, they circle and tie up, and Theory puts Finn on ropes. The ref counts, Theory lets off but Finn blocks the cheap shot to kick and headlock! Finn thrashes to grind Theory down, Theory powers out but Finn ducks and dodges, only for Theory to CLOBBER him with an elbow! Theory drags Finn out of the ring to smack off the apron! And then whip him into barriers! Theory goes into the ring and the ring count climbs. Finn stands but Theory goes out after him.
Theory whips, Finn reverses, and Theory hits barriers! Finn then hits a SLINGBLADE! Theory writhes, the count is rising, and Raw goes to break.
Raw returns and Finn rallies, trips and DOUBLE STOMPS Theory down! Theory goes to a corner, Finn runs in and CHOPS! Finn whips Theory corner to corner, Theory reverse but Finn reverses back, ELBOW DROP DDT! Cover, TWO! Finn snarls, Theory crawl to ropes and Finn KICKS him out of the ring! Finn drags Theory up but Theory HOTSHOTS! Theory somersaults in, but into a SLINGBLADE! Finn then runs, into a LARIAT from Theory! Theory hauls Finn up to FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Fireman’s carry, A T- NO! Finn makes it a roll up, TWO! Theory and Finn get up, and Finn goes to the apron. Finn shoulders into Theory, GAMANGIRIS, then climbs up!
But Theory avoids the Coup De Grace to somersault SHOTGUN! Fireman’s carry, A T L!! Cover, Theory wins!
Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall
Theory saves himself from Vince’s wrath, and he gets his victory selfie. But to make good on what Vince told him, Theory fires off fists! Theory then drags Finn up, fireman’s carries again, for another A T L! Theory tells Finn to expect the unexpected. But will Finn find a way to teach Theory and Mr. McMahon respect for The Prince?
Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley!
Before the match, Rhea is interviewed backstage. How does she respond to Nikki saying it was Rhea who ruined the relationship? Rhea says she never intended for this to hurt their friendship. But Nikki made up her mind. Rhea isn’t one to forgive very easily, so what kind of hero attacks a friend? If Rhea’s the villain here, than Nikki’s more delirious than Rhea thought. It’s time to remind everyone who Rhea Ripley is. Is Nikki in for a Nightmare tonight?
Raw returns and Nikki makes her entrance, but then so do Queen Zelina Vega and Carmella. Mella says, “Hear ye, hear ye, Tulsa. The Most Beautiful Woman in All of WWE and Your Queen have arrived to tell everyone in this dusty arena that everything we predicted about Nikki A.S.H. has come true.” Zelina’s word is absolute, and therefore she is correct by default. Not only is she a beloved queen, but also a fairy godmother. Rhea would never have been rid of Nikki without their little push. Rhea should be thanking them! Because they’ve been telling Rhea for weeks that if she stuck with an Almost Superhero, she’d never be nothing more than an almost threat.
But seems things are too late. Rhea doesn’t look like anything more than a low class loser. Without Nikki as her security blanket, does Rhea have what it takes? As Zelina’s said, you’re either the most powerful women in the room, or you’re nothing. Zelina is queen, but Rhea will be standing there, covered in trash, looking for someone to leech off of. Rhea doesn’t have the guts to be champion all on her own. Rhea tells them to bring it, then, but Nikki goes after Rhea! The ref wants Nikki to let off, but Nikki keeps hammering Rhea down! Rhea hits back but Nikki throws Rhea down! Nikki is seething, and then she drags Rhea up. Rhea kicks Nikki away but Nikki throws her out!
Nikki WRECKS Rhea with a dropkick, then goes out to RAM her into steel steps! The Almost Superhero leaves Rhea down, but the match is called off. Will Rhea get right? Or will she get revenge?
Dana Brooke and Reggie regroup backstage.
What did they talk about? Staying low and staying mobile. That’s right! Reggie is faster, stronger and amazing! Use Omos’ size against him, tire him out, and go for the legs. Meanwhile, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Tamina, and a referee are watching while eating popcorn. Dana says Reggie can be vicious and ruthless while also super athletic. Reggie says, “Who am I kidding?” He ran into Omos full speed and bounced off him! Dana says Reggie is the most capable man she knows. Just stay away from him. But even Dana looks worried. Truth says Dana must really hate Reggie. She just told him to get got! Will Reggie even survive his run-in with Omos?
Reggie w/ Dana Brooke VS Omos!
Raw returns and Reggie makes his entrance. Dana is cheering him on, but she still looks very worried. Omos points out the clear height difference, and then he roars! Even that scares Reggie! But then here come the 24/7 Championship hunters! Dana runs into the ring, scoots under Omos and out the other side. Omos catches Tozawa, TOSSES him out, then CLOBBERS Truth! Tamina stares Omos down and Reggie climbs the corner. Tamina goes around Omos, the bell rings, and Reggie leaps! Into Omos’ arms! Omos uses both hands for the MOUNTAIN TOSS! Omos says it’s that easy. Cover, Omos wins.
Winner: Omos, by pinfall
Omos didn’t break a sweat with that one! Will the colossus of Raw continue to dominate until he’s on top of the world?
Maryse heads to the ring!
As her note said, she is here to talk with Beth face-to-face. But will that all this be? Or do Miz & Mrs. have a plan for the Glamazon? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and Maryse has a mic to say, “Bonsoir (good evening), Tulsa.” She assures us The Miz couldn’t make it. He has a very big mouth and likes to agree to things without asking her first, so tonight, she is cleaning up his mess. She then asks Beth to come out alone so they can do this right. Woman to woman, wife to wife and mother to mother, Maryse wants to talk. Beth makes her entrance, but Edge still follows her out. Maryse wants Edge to wait on the ramp until they’ve had this conversation. There aren’t many ways to put this, but the match at the Rumble, it has to be canceled. Uh, okay. This oughta be good, so Beth is all ears.
Maryse says she doesn’t want it, surely Beth doesn’t want it, and the fans don’t want it! Fans boo, they DO want it. Maryse is trying to have a heartfelt moment, guys. Really? Really? Really? Maryse is sure sounding like Miz here… Maryse says she has the mic, so she can be louder than everyone here. It doesn’t matter what you think! Now she’s The Rock? But anyway, Maryse wants Beth to listen. They’re from the same generation in WWE. They fought together. Remember those two minute matches? Fans chant, “You Suck!” but Maryse asks if they’re done.
But Beth, c’mon. They fought together and made the Women’s Division what it is today! They’re great at what they do! Just look at them! Women nowadays main event WrestleMania thanks to these two! So if anything, Maryse thinks that they should be on the same team. They should be a unit! Friends! Even their daughters can be friends! They can have play dates, dinners, or even just a coffee. Beth wants Maryse to know that she speaks for everyone here when she says, “Just shut up!” Seriously? BFF’s? Playdates? Is anyone buying this? NOPE! So that means Maryse takes acting lessons from The Miz.
Beth boils it down to a simple answer: the match is NOT off. Beth is NOT missing the chance to tag team with her husband for the first time ever. And she is NOT missing the chance to Glam Slam Maryse’s ass through the canvas! In fact, why not give the fans a preview? Beth storms up to the ring but Maryse stays put. Wait, Miz attacks Edge at the ramp! But Edge DECKS Miz! Maryse really was lying about Miz being at home! But then Maryse CLOBBERS Beth with her purse! What’s in that bag?! Maryse and Miz decide to show us: it was a BRICK! A literal BRICK! Maryse tosses her hair back and celebrates with The Miz. But will Edge and Beth only look to break The It Couple for that one?
The Street Profits are fired up backstage!
Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford have a dream! The dream is that they have a plan and will execute it and win! The best part is, they do it in Tulsa, Oklahoma~! YESSIR! All the bodies in the ring, it’ll be like a mini Rumble. Which is great cuz the Profits were the first to declare for this year’s Rumble! Their first one, tossin’ bodies! But will Ford throw Dawkins? Rey Mysterio & Dom walk over to say not to worry. They’re a team tonight, and they’ll also be in the Rumble. Rey has to get this off his chest: Los Mysterios will outlast 28 other men in the Rumble. And then, not only will they throw those guys out, they’ll take the Mysterio name back to the Mania main event!
Okay, all due respect, that’s only if the Profits don’t make it there first. Because the Profits are up! And WE WANT THE SMOKE! Will these four burn it down to then light it up on the Road to WrestleMania?
8 Man Tag: The Street Profits & The Mysterios VS Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez & The Dirty Dawgs!
Raw returns and the Dawgs make their entrance. Then the Pride of Nigeria and his right hand man make their entrance. Teams sort out, Dolph Ziggler starts against Dom. They tie up, Dom waistlocks but Ziggler elbows free. Ziggler talks trash, runs, but Dom follows to RANA! Dom runs at Ziggler in the corner but Ziggler CLOBBERS Dom! Tag to Robert Roode and he stomps Dom. Roode drags Dom up, suplexes, but Dom knees free! Dom kicks low, tags Rey, and Rey gets a boost to RANA! Rey whips, Roode reverses but Rey dodges and tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Rey runs in but Roode puts him on the apron. Rey DECKS Roode, climbs, and leaps, but the rana is blocked
Roode brings Rey up, but Rey RANAS Roode out of the ring! Ziggler and Dom get in, Dom whips but Ziggler throws Dom up and out! Ford and Dawkins DROPKCIK Ziggler out! All eight men are on the outside now and shouting, but the ref keeps the peace while Raw goes to break!
Raw returns, Roode tags Ziggler and the Dawgs double whip Rey to double elbow him down. Then the Dawgs hit Rey’s corner to knock everyone down! Fans boo but Ziggler drags Rey over to tag Apollo. Apollo hits a STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ziggler is upset on Apollo’s behalf, but Apollo decides he’ll finish it now. Apollo gets Rey up, trophy lifts, but Rey fights free to a DDT! Both men are down and fans fire up! Rey crawls, Dawks is back! Hot tag to the Curse of Greatness! And he rallies on everyone! He hurdles Apollo to hit a FLYING BACK ELBOW! Roode runs into an EXPLODER! Ziggler runs into an EXPLODER!
Dawkins gives Apollo a CYCLONE SPLASH, then the SILENCER! But Azeez gets in to break the cover! Ford returns to ENZIGURI Azeez out! The Dawgs TOSS Ford out! But the Mysterios dropkick the Dawgs onto the ropes! STEREO 619’s! Dom goes up and out to LEAP at Azeez! But Azeez catches him! Rey jumps to add on, the Mysterios take out Azeez! But Apollo rolls Dawkins up! TWO, and pop-up for SKY HIGH! Tag to Ford, he’s up top! FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, the Profits & Mysterios win!
Winners: The Street Profits & The Mysterios, by pinfall
Ford was five-star again with that splash, but then the Mysterios decide to dump the Profits out! Rey says that’s nothing personal, just a sample of the Rumble. And then he dumps Dom out! The son’s got a lot to learn still. But will Dom & Rey look to be in that final handful at the Rumble to put their name back on the WrestleMania marquee?
WWE looks at the parallels of Lashley and Lesnar.
“Forge: to form by heating and hammering; to beat into shape.” Great warriors are born at the forge, shaped by the heat of the fire and tried in the brutality of combat. This is the beginning of two such warriors. “The great plains often invoke idyllic dreams of an unending cascades of crops and green pastures. But in winter, these dreams are overtaken by the harsh reality of desolation and decay. It is here that the heart of a Beast was forged, and a Conqueror was born.” Brock Lesnar is a two-time NCAA All American with over 100 victories, and the NCAA Division I Heavyweight Champion. And just five months after his WWE debut, The Next Big Thing was WWE Champion.
After ravaging every challenger in the WWE, the Beast would go to the UFC, and in just three fights, he’d reign supreme as the UFC Heavyweight Champion. Then upon returning to the WWE, Lesnar’s path of devastation continued. He took 16-time WWE Champion John Cena to Suplex City, ended The Undertaker’s WrestleMania undefeated streak, and cemented his dominance as a three-time Universal and six-time World Champion. He is a Beast without limits, without remorse, and without fear.
“Discipline. Restraint. Control. It is from these fires that the All Mighty was forged. Son of a US Army drill sergeant, Bobby Lashley learned at an early age that only by rigorously harnessing his natural ability that he would the greatness that he sought.” A three-time NAIA wrestling champion, Lashley would follow his father’s footsteps into the Army, and he honed his craft onto his way to winning gold in the Armed Forces Championship. Lashley would emerge in WWE as a peak physical specimen, unleashing a torrent of physical power and ferocity. But while he won gold, Lashley couldn’t quite find that next level.
A sojourn into MMA ignited the fires and Lashley had a 15-2 record. Then he’d return to the WWE and he would unleash havoc on opponent after opponent with his arsenal of high impact moves, headlined by the Hurt Lock full nelson. He would become United States Champion, Intercontinental Champion, and ultimately, WWE World Champion. Now, Lashley is ready for the one challenge that eluded him. For 20 years, Lashley believes Lesnar was ducking him. But Lesnar is confident that if they’d met before, Lesnar would’ve already beaten him. But the Royal Rumble will see the champion Beast collide with an All Mighty challenger.
These paths have finally crossed. Two warriors, forged in flame, battle and gold, fight for the ultimate prize. Only one emerges THE WWE World Champion. Will the ring even stay standing as these wage war?
The Miz & Maryse are heading out.
Kevin Patrick stops them to ask about that vicious attack. Miz says it took ONE SHOT to take down the Glamazon! Now Beth needs medical attention! Now the Grit Couple is the SH- Maryse stops Miz there. The girls are watching at home. Oh, right. Daddy loves ya, girls! And Miz loves Mommy. He is the best husband ever, because he remembered that Maryse’s birthday is next week! So before saying bonny nut- No, no, it’s bonne nuit. The T is silent. Right, bonne nuit to the Grit Couple, Miz is going to throw the most expensive, extravagant and amazing birthday party that anyone has ever seen, because Miz loves Maryse.
Nothing, especially not Edge & Beth, is stronger than their love. These two make-out right in front of us… But will announcing the birthday party here come back to bite the It Couple?
Alexa Bliss has another therapy session.
She and her therapist sit quietly a moment before he welcomes her back. He’s happy to say that there are less breakable things here in the office. She isn’t sure about that. But these sessions will continue. He will not tolerate a repeat of last week, though. He does apologize for showing her such a sensitive subject, but he had to know where she stood psychological. He promises her that she will be on the road to recovery. Neat. Now, let’s do word association. Okay, sure. How does she feel about the word, “Trust.” “Lily.” Friend? Lily. Home? Lily. Doll… Lily. Imaginary. Alexa gets up out of her seat and glares at him. Okay, time’s up.
The doc bolts but Alexa cools off. She sits back down, looks around the room, but stays quiet. Will Alexa ever get over her twistedly tragic past?
Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Seth Rollins!
The Rocky Mountain Machine is ready to wreck everything, including Brock Lesnar. Meanwhile, The Visionary is preparing to repeat history and defeat Roman Reigns once again. But who will have some major momentum on their side going towards those titanic title matches? The main event of top championship challengers begins after the break!
Raw returns and Rollins makes his entrance. The bell rings and Lashley glares while Rollins smirks. The two circle, fans rally up, and the two tie up. Rollins headlocks, Lashley powers up to power out, but Rollins duck sand dodges. Lashley hurdles then runs Rollins over! Fans cheer as Lashley mocks Rollins’ pose. The two reset, circle and tie up again. Rollins waistlocks, Lashley uses ropes to buck Rollins away, but Rollins hurdles and drops to then go perpendicular, SLINGBLADE! Rollins kicks, reels Lashley in, but Lashley back drops free! Lashley stalks Rollins, but Rollins fights the full nelson! Rollins drops to KICK Lashley, then he dumps Lashley out!
Rollins builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit but Lashley stays up! Rollins goes back in, builds speed again, DIVES, but into a clinch! OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Lashley roars and Rollins flounders while Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Rollins has Lashley down now! Rollins drags Lashley to a corner to SLAM a leg against the post! Rollins SLAMS the leg again, talks trash to MVP, then gets in as the ring count reaches 5 of 10. Rollins drags Lashley up, puts the bad leg in the ropes, pulls until the ref counts, then dropkicks the leg! Lashley falls, Rollins drags him to center and steps through to drop a leg on the knee! Lashley snarls and fans rally up. MVP coaches Lashley, but Rollins drops another leg on the bad knee! And then another! Rollins has the toehold, ties up the legs, but Lashley fights, only for Rollins to still get the Indian Deathlock!
Rollins keeps Lashley’s hands away while Lashley endures the hold. Rollins SLAPS Lashley in the side, but Lashley pulls hair! The ref reprimands, Lashley lets go but he punches Rollins! Rollins lets the legs free, but then he gets the bad one for a DRAGON SCREW! And into a HALF CRAB! Lashley endures, even as Rollins sits deep! Lashley powers up, fans rally up, and Lashley turns, only for Rollins to stomp the leg! Rollins has the Half Crab again! MVP coaches Lashley more but Rollins talks trash on “Bob.” Lashley fights up, turns things over, and he boots Rollins away! Rollins falls out of the ring but he’s right back in! Lashley avoids the stomp for a COMPLETE SHOT!
MVP says that’s the All Mighty Lashley he knows! Lashley grits his teeth and pushes up, just as Rollins also sits up. Rollins turns around into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And then another! Lashley runs in at the corner, to RAM into Rollins! Lashley turns Rollins around, NECKBREAKER! Lashley fires up and Tulsa fires up with him! Lashley gets Rollins up, suplexes, but Rollins fights free! Lashley kicks low to gut wrench, DOMINATOR! Cover, TWO!! Rollins survives but MVP coaches Lashley to keep going. Lashley aims from a corner, Rollins rises, Lashley runs in, into a KNEE! Rollins hits a ROLLING ELBOW! Then runs, but into a scoop!
Rollins slips out, shoves Lashley into buckles, then kicks low! Rollins underhooks the arms, PEDIGREE!! Cover, TWO!?! Lashley survives but Rollins is too tired to be shocked! Fans rally behind Lashley but Rollins stands. Rollins goes to a corner, climbs up top, but Lashley gets him with a choke grip! Lashley climbs up, but Rollins fights with elbows! But Lashley clinches, for a SUPER BELLY2BELLY!! Rollins goes flying to the other side of the ring! Lashley gets back to a corner but the Hurt Business go after him!!
Winner: Bobby Lashley, by disqualification
Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin mug Lashley but Lashley fights back! That’s still 2v1, and they POST him! Alexander & Benjamin shout that he’s brought this upon himself, and then the POST Lashley again! They glare at MVP but then drag Lashley back up. But Lashley DOUBLE SUPLEXES them instead! COMPLETE SHOT for Benjamin! Fireman’s carry and the POST for Alexander! Lashley SPEARS Benjamin through barriers! Rollins is shocked at seeing the carnage, but the USOS run out from the crowd! Rollins turns around, into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Jimmy & Jey make up for missing the target on SmackDown!
Rollins lost the match and then got got! Will he stand a chance of dethroning the Head of the Table if the Usos can get him on his show? As for Lashley, will he be able to go for the gold if he has his former henchmen coming after him?
This was a decent episode, but with really glaring low points. Does Vince just hate Women’s Wrestling again? Why is it that the matches tonight were basically filler to move the story along? Nikki VS Rhea being No Contest was whatever since it at least went with story. But that opening tag match had Becky, Piper, Bianca and Liv, all of which are basically the stars of the Raw Women’s Division. Yet Vince couldn’t be bothered to give that match more than a bathroom break amount of time! I suppose because it was Piper ending it all very quickly, we’re supposed to think Piper is that great, but honestly it just hurt all four women. If Bianca was taken out by just a corner splash, how is she to win the Rumble?
Finn VS Theory 2 was also way too short. I get there was a commercial break in the middle but that just makes it worse. Theory winning was clean also a shame, and not because of Vince’s weird threat to him. I get that Theory needed to win to make a feud out of this, but why not dirty it up a little? When is Finn going to get a chance to comment on how Theory is Vince’s pet project and all that? This whole thing is just hurting my brain. And only a little less than the Veer Mahaan videos coming back. He better show up in the Rumble. And this week’s Alexa therapy session was filler. It was just her associating everything with Lily but not even in a more compelling way than last week’s “triggered Alexa” vignette.
We got a good 8 Man Tag but it was also on the short side. It was pretty standard Rumble season stuff for Rey & Dom to dump the Profits out, but Rey dumping Dom was a bit of a surprise. Maybe Dom will do the same during the Rumble on Rey? I did appreciate them weaving three backstage segments into one, going from Reggie wanting advice from Edge but basically striking out, and then Edge talking with Priest and then Priest talking with Kevin. If Dana still has the 24/7 title come the Women’s Rumble, can that title end up hot potato’d around to end up on someone from SmackDown? Or does Fox just hate that title?
Omos of course destroyed Reggie, but I almost thought he was going to somehow end up 24/7 champion. That’d probably put the end to the title, though, because who would even try to take it from him? Kevin had a very good match with Priest, and his win definitely puts him in line for the US Championship, but who knows if Kevin will even go for it with him so closely connected to Rollins in their stories. And we got a good promo segment out of Maryse and Beth. But Maryse bringing up the Diva Era short matches and yet we got a short women’s match here, the irony clearly goes over Vince’s thick head. That brick in the purse, though. And telegraphing the birthday stuff for next week, Maryse’s cake is definitely going into someone’s face.
The Alpha Academy graduation was a pretty good segment. I am sure Riddle was referencing something but I can’t place it. I can’t believe they’re kayfabing that Otis never had the last name “Dozovic.” That’s taking Vince’s love of editing names to a new, dumber level. But I loved the face Otis made when Gable said they were going to have a tag team academic challenge. He’s going to end up the weak link for his team since this graduation was based on his in-ring skills. The Lesnar Lashley vignette was well made, but a rather melodramatic theme in the narration. After the string of short matches, it just felt like WWE trying too hard to be cinematic and not enough about action.
Lashley VS Rollins was great stuff, until the Hurt Business “ruined” things. It just keeps reminding us of how flippant they’ve been with that faction’s story. They work together against Goldberg but then not together against Lesnar, and now the Hurt Business is just being thrown at Lashley in an attempt to build Lashley as brutal and dominant without it being in the matches. The Usos getting the drop on Rollins was pretty good, though, since that carries over from SmackDown. If they’d let it just be the Usos trying to mess with Rollins, I think things would’ve felt a bit better.
My Score: 8/10
Mitchell’s AEW Dark: Elevation Results & Report! (1/17/22)
Raleigh gets Elevated!
A lucky seven for Elevation!
AEW continues in Raleigh and has a strong seven for Elevation! Jay Lethal is keeping himself sharp for what could be an FTW Championship showdown!
- Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty VS JR Miller & Marcus Kross; Sydal & Moriarty wins.
- Tay Conti VS Ameera; Conti wins.
- Gunn Club VS JB Cole & T.I.M; Gunn Club wins.
- Frankie Kazarian VS Labron Kozone; Kaz wins.
- Ruby Soho VS Kenzie Page; Soho wins.
- Private Party VS Chase Emory & Patrick Scott; Private Party wins.
- Jay Lethal VS Alexander Moss; Lethal wins.
Pretty clear cut stuff here, but I like that we’re seeing Sydal & Moriarty in tag action again. Kenzie Page is back in AEW and she’ll give Ruby Soho a good match. Good to see Kaz back in action, they kinda let the ball drop on his Elite Hunter story but maybe he can build himself up towards the TNT Championship. And I have a feeling in Gunn Club’s match, fans will troll Austin & Colten as “Ass Boys” again and that could come close to costing them.
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Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (1/14/22)
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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (1/14/22)
SmackDown gets extreme!