Mitchell’s Lucha Underground Results & Report! (11/7/18)
Lucha Underground Season 4, “Ultima Lucha Cuatro – Part 2”
It’s the finale of Ultima Lucha Cuatro! Will Johnny Mundo survive Matanza Cueto? Who will be the Lucha Underground Champion after a deadly Cero Miedo Match?
Gifs can be found on http://frentique.tumblr.com/
- Best 2 out of 3 Falls: El Dragon Azteca Jr. VS Fenix; Fenix wins.
- Death Match: The Mack VS Mil Muertes; Mack wins.
- Sacrifice to the Gods Match: Matanza Cueto VS Johnny Mundo; Mundo wins and is not sacrificed.
- Lucha Underground Championship Cero Miedo Match: Marty “The Moth” Martinez VS Pentagon Dark; Pentagon wins and becomes the new Lucha Underground Champion.
- Lucha Underground Championship, Gift of the Gods Cash-In Match: Pentagon Dark VS Jake Strong; Strong wins and becomes the new Lucha Underground Champion.
PLAY BY PLAY
The Worldwide Underground prepare for tonight.
Namely, Johnny Mundo air guitars with his new Gauntlet of the Gods. “This thing is gonna look so sweet mounted on the wall of my dojo.” If he ever takes it off. And Taya reminds him it’s their dojo now. Right, of course. But it’ll look even better with the blood of Matanza on it. Mundo wants to give it another test run, and the power courses through his body. Taya will be there just in case, right? She wouldn’t miss it for the mundo. Clever. But if Mundo fails, never to be seen again, just know he loves you, Taya. “I love you, too.” Rosa…? “You’re so pretty.” Thanks? But she doesn’t have a string… Rosa knows Taya is the Perfect Woman. And the perfect host! Rosa is going to possess Taya?!
Best 2 out of 3 Falls: El Dragon Azteca Jr. VS Fenix!
The Heir of the Eagle Tribe is a friend to Melissa Santos, but Melissa’s heart belongs to Fenix. However, Fenix’s soul is left tainted with darkness after Aerostar used Catrina’s stone to resurrect him. Can Azteca help bring back Fenix’s humanity? Or will the darkness only grow stronger?
Lucha Underground returns as the bell rings. Fenix glares at Melissa, but then rushes Azteca. Azteca dodges and kicks but Fenix dodges to CHOPS! Azteca chops back and it’s a chop fight! Fenix back hands but Azteca kicks, kicks and enziguris! Then he slides under, for another enziguri! Azteca runs, but Fenix somersaults for a cutter! Fans fire up as Fenix brings Azteca into a waistlock. Azteca blocks and fights out, Fenix shoves him. Azteca mule kicks Fenix, then hops up, but Fenix kicks out his legs! Fenix has Azteca hung up on the second rope, and shovels him onto his shoulders. Electric chair spin, but Azteca tries a huricanrana. Fenix blocks that and brings Azteca back up, but Azteca makes it a Code Red! Cover, TWO!
Azteca dropkicks Fenix down, Fenix bails out. Fans rally, Azteca springboards and FLIES! He wipes Fenix out but Believers fire up. Azteca puts Fenix back in the ring, then climbs up top. Fans duel as Azteca leaps! Fenix rolls out of the way so Azteca rolls through his 450. Fenix boots Azteca to a corner, then runs corner to corner, into a boot! Azteca hops up but gets a SHORYUKEN! Fenix brings Azteca out, spinning muscle buster! Cover, Fenix gets the first fall!
Azteca: 0 – Fenix: 1
The Black Bird takes the lead, but his eyes lock back on Melissa. Fenix goes to a corner, the second fall begins when we return from break!
Lucha Underground returns, and Fenix is bringing in chairs! Azteca is vulnerable as Fenix wedges a chair in a corner. Fenix goes back out, to bring out a table! Azteca stirs as fans rally up. Fenix sets the table up on the outside, then he fetches Azteca. Fenix brings Azteca up in a waistlock, for a German Suplex! No cover as Fenix drags Azteca by his mask over to the corner with the chair. Fenix runs in, but Azteca dodges. Azteca runs in for a clothesline, then rolls and comes back for a forearm. He rolls Fenix, slides and calf kicks FEnix down! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up for Azteca as he and Fenix grind foreheads. Fenix shoves but Azteca moves to hit the DDTJ! Cover, Azteca gets the second fall!
Azteca: 1 – Fenix: 1
Things are all tied up super fast, and now we can go into the final fall! But Antonio Cueto decides to come out at this point. “Papa Cueto” says that this match has already been quite a show. But now we need to take it to the next level! “After all, this is Ultima Lucha.” Therefore, this final fall shall be… Falls Count Anywhere! The stakes are raised, as is that chair by Fenix! He SMACKS Azteca in the head! The Believers are thunderous for this final round, but we go to break!
Lucha Underground returns again, and Fenix clubs Azteca down. He pushes Azteca out, and he “borrows’ chairs from Believers. Fenix makes a pile of wood then puts Azteca back in the ring. He brings Azteca to that side of the ring where the table is, and goes for a suplex. Azteca holds on for dear life, then kicks Feniz off the apron! Fenix’s face bounces off the table! Fans fire up as Azteca goes out to fetch Fenix. Azteca brings out steel chairs, and THROWS one at Fenix’s face! They go around the corner and Azteca throws Fenix into the announce desk! Azteca has the Believers on his side as he brings out yet another table. The only one not really enjoying this fight is Melissa, as it is friend and lover fighting it out.
Fenix hits Azteca, they brawl, Fenix gets a German Suplex! Bridging cover, TWO! Azteca survives, so Fenix brings out a third table. And then a fourth! Fenix arranges these tables in the ring and Believers like that. Fenix runs in but Azteca dodges to send him into the post. Azteca kicks Fenix from the post, then springboard missile dropkicks! Believers rally up as Azteca takes care of the tables in the ring. He fetches Fenix on the outside but Fenix hits him. They have another chop fight back and forth, fast and furious! Azteca gets another DDTJ, to the floor!! But Azteca can’t make a cover, so he goes for that original table.
Azteca goes up to the bleachers, but Fenix follows. Fenix goes after Azteca at the rails as fans beg “Please Don’t Die!” The two brawl while trying to throw the other over. Both men stand, Azteca SUPER STEINERS! Fenix clips the table and fans lose their minds! Cover, TWO!! Fenix lives, so Azteca puts him in the ring. Azteca hits Fenix away but slingshots into a SHORYUKEN! Fenix goes out to fetch Azteca, and they go to the second table. Fenix reels Azteca out for forearms, then puts him on the wood. Fans duel as Fenix climbs up. Melissa can barely watch as Fenix SUPER SWANTONS! The table doesn’t break, but maybe one of the two luchadores did… Believers know “This is Awesome!” as Fenix drags Azteca around the corner.
Fenix CHOPS Azteca then puts him on the apron. He tucks Azteca for a muscle buster but Azteca gets out to boot back. Azteca then climbs, but Fenix follows. Fenix stops Azteca up top, then joins him, and Melissa begs someone else do something to stop them. Azteca fights Fenix off, turns things around, then throws hands. He hits a SUPER Victory Roll Bomb, through a table!! Cover, TWO!? Fenix survives and Melissa is physically ill. Believers are losing their minds again as Azteca throws in more chairs. Azteca is armed with steel, and Believers rally up. He aims at Fenix, but Melissa tells him no! They’re friends, aren’t they? She says this isn’t Fenix’s fault, he’s not himself. But then Fenix SMACKS Azteca! And he scares Melissa off!
Fenix aims at Azteca, and SPEARS him through the third table!! Believers lose their minds again as Melissa begs for this to stop. Fenix sits Azteca on the top rope for a CHOP! Then, another Black Bird muscle buster! Cover, Fenix wins!
Winner: Fenix, by pinfall, wins 2-1
Melissa may have just cost Azteca the win, and Fenix his soul. Will the Dark Flame rise and take over the Temple?
Antonio Cueto is ringside again.
“Love makes you do strange things, huh?” Melissa refuses to be out here after what just happened between Fenix and Azteca, but luckily Antonio has been in “intense negotiations” as of late. And as of just earlier tonight, Antonio has made a blockbuster deal with an incredible talent! This person is lucha royalty! Antonio introduces the guest ring announcer for the rest of Ultima Lucha, Shaul Guerrero! A major get from the family of lucha libre! Shaul picks up the mic, and is honored to be here. But it’s time to get the action going again! She makes the introductions for this following–
Wait, Famous B comes out? He’s introducing himself as the one true guest ring announcer of The Temple. Fans disagree, and tell B to “Git!” But Famous B ignores them to head into the ring. He brushes Shaul aside, staking his claim as the only guest ring announcer. And he tells her to git! Well, before that, take his card, maybe give him a call. He has no idea who she is nor who her family is, so maybe if she wants to be famous– “Excuse~ me!” Just like mama! Shaul doesn’t know who Famous B is, but she’s gonna straighten him out.
The Guerrero family IS lucha libre! From Gory to Mondo to Hector to Chavo to Chavo Jr, to Mama Vickie and yes, Papa Eddie! Guerreros are lucha libre, but also warriors that “would kick your ass before you even know what hit you, Famous Bitch!” Sick burn, and she throws his card back at him. Famous B is angry as the fans echo Shaul. He figures if she’s too stupid to leave, then he’ll make her! The jacket comes off, but Believers chant “Kick his ass!” But wait, here comes Uncle Chavo! He scares Famous B, Shaul pokes B’s eyes then kicks him for a snap suplex. That’s one amiga! Then a second amiga! Then yes, the THIRD! And to do the honors for the entire Guerrero family, Chavo climbs, and hits the frog splash! They throw Famous B out, and now he can “Git! Git!”
Death Match: The Mack VS Mil Muertes!
Death comes for us all, but the Man of 1000 Deaths embraces the darkness. The urban underdog lost his cousin, Big Ryck, to Muertes’ wrath, but can he outrun the reaper and succeed on Lucha Underground’s biggest night?
Muertes brings a coffin with him, telling Mack now what to expect by the end of this. The bell rings, and Muertes rushes Mack. Mack dodges and throws big haymakers! Muertes pushes Mack back and puts him in the corner to throw heavy hands. Muertes whips corner to corner but runs into a boot. He blocks Mack’s next boot and reels Mack in for a lariat! Muertes drags Mack up as fans duel. He headbutts Mack and whips again, but Mack comes back with a flying enziguri! Muertes staggers but Mack runs in to clothesline him out. Muertes lands on his feet by his coffin, but Mack builds speed to FLY! Mack bowls Muertes over! Believers fire up as Mack says a prayer of thanks. Mack gets Muertes up and rocks him with more haymakers. Muertes hits back, and then bounces Mack’s face off the casket lid.
Muertes moves the casket aside and brings Mack up onto the apron. They brawl with haymakers and forearms while fans duel. Muertes kicks low and gives Mack a DDT to the apron! Believers are stunned silent a moment, but then rally back up. Muertes drags out a second casket?! Well, actually it makes a lot of sense given who Muertes is. Mack hits Muertes and they brawl again by the second coffin. Muertes bounces Mack off the lid again, then drags Mack up on top, for a facebuster! Mack’s head dents the casket! Muertes puts Mack in the ring and stands him up in a corner. Muertes fires off those close-range clothesline! He gets nine, and backs up as fans build the tension. Muertes runs in, but Mack drop toeholds him into buckles!
Mack goes side to side for the forearm smash, then the other way for the boot! Mack gives Muertes a back2back backbreaker! Muertes is down and Mack goes to the far side, to run back in for a cannonball! Fans fire up as Mack has a wild look in his eyes. He drags Muertes to a cover, TWO! Fans duel again as Mack decides to open up Muertes’ first coffin. Behold! An arsenal of brutal weapons! Mack goes for the tools, the kendo stick, the chain, and more, putting them in the ring. But then Muertes DIVES and tackles Mack into the coffin! Fans lose their minds all over again as Muertes stands up. Muertes drags the coffin up, and narrowly avoids the lid biting his fingers off, to go back for the rest of the items: a hatchet, a brick, and a meat hook!
Muertes puts Mack in the ring and brings in the lumberjack ax! This is becoming a horror movie as Muertes drags the ax around. Mack stands, but blocks the ax swing just in time! Mack kicks and gets the ax, but Muertes ducks the swing to give Mack an uppercut! Then the SPEAR! The Devil’s Trident knocks Mack down, but Muertes looks to use even worse on Mack. Muertes picks up the ice pick, and stands Mack up to JAB him in the head! Fans cringe as Muertes makes Mack bleed with more jabs of the steel spike. The referee gets squeamish but Muertes forces him to stay. Muertes brings Mack up and whips. Mack reverses and hits a windmill kick! Both men are down, and Mack has a crimson mask of blood. Mack grabs the chain, and shouts “Kunta Kinte 3000!” before giving Muertes a steel chain punch!
Muertes goes down but rolls to a corner. Mack goes out of the ring to bring in a trash can. Mack returns into the ring and fans rally up. He has the can and places it in front of Muertes. Mack hurries to the other corner, and fans chant it out, Mack leaps for the Coast2Coast! Direct hit on the “Mackinator”! Cover, TWO!! Muertes survives, but Mack still has more to give. He brings Muertes up, but Muertes gets him in a choke grip! And the choke slam! The fans duel as both men crawl to corners. Mack drags himself up, but Muertes runs in. Mack dodges and sends Muertes to the post! Muertes tumbles out and Mack pursues. Mack tears at the black mask of death to add insult to injury! Mack grabs himself a kendo stick, and SMACKS Muertes in the head!
Both men stagger and Mack throws Muertes back in. Muertes stands, and realizes he is dripping blood himself now. Mack runs and hits a jumping DDT! Cover, TWO! Muertes survives but Believers know “This is Awesome!” Mack keeps going because there’s still blood to spill. He swings on Muertes but Muertes spins him around for a BIG lariat! Cover, TWO!! It was so close, but Mack survives. Muertes gets up as fans chant “Lucha! Lucha!” Muertes runs at Mack for a crucifix takedown, but Mack makes it a Samoan Drop, albeit sloppy. Mack kips up and fans fire up! He hits a moonsault! Cover, TWO! Mack is shocked, but his blood helps him focus. He runs, but into the powerslam! Cover, TWO!! Another close call but this match isn’t over yet.
Muertes grows furious but Mack grows confident. Mack throws forearms, but ends up in a Flat Liner!! Muertes crawls to a cover, TWO!? Mack lives?! The look of shock is clear through Muertes’ masks of crimson blood and black leather. Muertes goes after Mack and wants another, but Mack elbows out of the Flat Liner. And elbows, and elbows, and elbows! But then he turns around into the choke grip! Muertes lifts, Mack hits the stunner! Muertes staggers, so Mack hits him with another! But Muertes still hasn’t fallen, so Mack gets that brick. This brick is for Ryck! Then the double dirty birds as Mack tells Muertes to “Go to Hell, you mutha f*cka!” STUNNER!! Cover, Mack WINS!!
Winner: The Mack, by pinfall
Death has been conquered!! Muertes is no longer undefeated at Ultima Lucha, and Mack decides to put the last nail in the coffin. He drags Muertes over to the coffin, and as Believers chant “Put Him In!”, Mack rolls Muertes into his own prop. And to cap it all off, Mack gets some beers, to pour out one for the homeys. And finally, he closes the lid. Does this incredible win mean big things for The Mack next season? Or will death rise again?
Sacrifice to the Gods Match: Matanza Cueto VS Johnny Mundo!
The first sacrifice was the last remaining shred of humanity within the vessel of Antonio Cueto’s last living son. From there, the Monster God of the Temple would dispatch of the dead weight in the locker room. However, he would be unleashed by a psychotic Ricky Mantel Mundo to ruin the Worldwide Underground’s wedding night. The Guru of Greatness was not able to seek revenge himself for a time, thus leaving his friends, Joey Wrestling and Jack Evans, to be preyed upon by the Cuetos. Taya was almost sacrificed if not for the heroic return of Johnny himself! However, knowing Mundo is mortal, the Super Amigos, Drago and Aerostar, felt this was the time to grant someone the power of the Gauntlet of the Gods! Can Mundo use his power-up to take Matanza to #SlamTown? Or will he sadly be the latest and greatest Sacrifice to the Gods?
Antonio hurries out to ringside, having recognized that gauntlet. He shouts that the gauntlet is not Mundo’s to have! It doesn’t matter where he got that gauntlet, but he won’t have it for much longer, as he’ll just end up in a puddle of his own blood on the Aztec seal in the ring! And Matanza now makes his entrance, in new ceremonial, and frightening, garb. Believers already lose their minds seeing this terrifying transformation, but the true terror will begin after the break.
Lucha Underground returns and the bell rings. Mundo and Matanza each sport new gear, and Mundo eggs Matanza on. Matanza runs in, and Mundo gets him with a choke grip! Mundo powers Matanza to his knees! Then throws him backwards! Fans fire up, and Mundo grins with the new found power. Mundo runs in but Matanza avoids the Superman Punch. Mundo still feels great, and swings another punch at Matanza. Matanza avoids it, and goes after the gauntlet itself! Matanza and Mundo struggle, and the gauntlet flies off! It ends up at the stairs, and now Mundo is without his equalizer. Mundo still throws hands, but they do nothing. Matanza hits back but Mundo gives a kick and forearm. Mundo whips but Matanza reverses, but Mundo slides under. Mundo scrambles but Matanza drags him back in. Matanza throws Mundo but Mundo lands on his feet!
Mundo keeps moving, but runs into a pop-up SPINEBUSTER! Matanza looms over Mundo as fans rally up. Matanza drags Mundo up for a torture rack. Running rack Samoan Drop! Then a deadlift German Suplex! Matanza looms over Mundo, and drags him back up, for the fisherman back suplex! Bridge cover, TWO!! Mundo narrowly escapes, but Matanza is still on him. Matanza brings Mundo up to whip, and scoops for Wrath of the Gods, but Mundo counters with a crucifix! Roll through, but Mundo roundhouses and SUPERKICKS! Mundo kicks more, then hits Moonlight Drive! Antonio watches as Mundo drags Matanza to a drop zone. Mundo drags himself up, split leg for the Fin del Mundo! Cover, TWO!! Matanza survives, not even the end of the world can kill a god.
Believers rally up, and Mundo hurries out of the ring. He still wants the gauntlet, but Matanza gets him at the apron! And lifts him right up to the top rope, for a SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX!! Believers lose their minds again as Matanza sits up. The Monster is, for the first time, feeling fatigue. But oh no, Matanza wants the Gauntlet of the Gods?! But knowing Mundo is still near, Matanza leaves the gauntlet alone to go after his prey. Mundo goes under the ring, and Matanza goes looking for the sly Sultan of Sexy. Mundo pops out on the other end, but ducks back in before Matanza can get him. Matanza goes looking under the ring, but Mundo has made it to the stairs! And he gets the gauntlet back! Mundo hurries to put it back on, but Matanza runs him over! Now the gauntlet is on the bleachers.
Matanza moves up the bleachers and fans move aside. Matanza has the Gauntlet, but tosses it up WAY into the rafters?! Mundo hurries to climb up, but Matanza yanks him off the ladder. Mundo fights him off, then hurries up the stairs! Matanza pursues and drags Mundo down. Mundo ducks the punch to SUPERKICK! But Matanza isn’t bothered. Mundo leads Matanza on a chase, and finds a back way up to the top level. Matanza cuts him off at the stairs, but Mundo keeps going up. Mundo flips Matanza off to egg him on. There’s a large gap between where Mundo is above the band, and where Matanza tossed the gauntlet. But Mundo trusts his parkour training, and hops from roof to fuse box to ledge! But Matanza yanks him off, to throw him into the wall!
Believers rally up, they still have faith in Mundo. But Matanza lifts Mundo, and goes to bomb him over rails! Mundo fights off, and gets up to the ledge! Matanza hurries up with a ladder but fans know “This is Awesome!” Mundo crawls to where the gauntlet is, but still has no time to put it on. Matanza grabs him around the throat! And choke slams Mundo through the floor! Mundo goes through wood and is now in the Modelo freezer! Believers lose their minds all over again, and Matanza seems to have won. Antonio directs Matanza back to the ring, and that is where the Monster heads, chair in hand. But wait! The doors open, and Mundo stands! He has the gauntlet on! Mundo has the POWER! And he punches the chair out of Matanza’s hands!
The two head back down the stairs and to the ring. Mundo and his power seems to scare Matanza now! Mundo throws a punch, Matanza dodges, and Mundo hits post! But it doesn’t hurt at all. Mundo swings but Matanza dodges again, Matanza’s running scared! Matanza cowers by the stairs, Mundo uses the apron as a springboard for a Superman Punch into the ground! But Matanza narrowly gets away, and into the ring. Mundo follows Matanza into the ring, and Believers are thunderous. Mundo leaps, but into Matanza’s arms! WRATH OF THE GODS!! Cover, TWO!?! Mundo survives the Wrath of the Gods?! Even Mundo is surprised at how powerful he’s becoming. He gives Matanza a BIG gut punch, then a BIG haymaker. Matanza is staggered, SUPERMAN PUNCH takes him down! And then, as Mundo stares at Antonio, he climbs up top and flips Antonio off.
Antonio is furious as Mundo aims at Matanza. FLYING SUPERMAN PUNCH!! Matanza is down, Mundo turns him over for a cover, Mundo wins!!
Winner: Johnny Mundo, by pinfall
The modern day mix of Adonis and Hercules, Mundo conquers the Monster God! The Gauntlet has given him the power and the glory, but will it give Mundo the world?
Johnny Mundo walks backstage.
The Guru of Greatness feels great with the Gauntlet of the Gods on his arm, but then Aerostar appears and surprises him. Mundo asks if he’s seen Taya, but Aerostar is more concerned with the debt having been paid. Yeah, but Mundo would like to hold onto the gauntlet for a little while longer. Aerostar says that the power Mundo feels is not enhancing him, but destroying him. Mundo thinks Aerostar is just saying that to get the gauntlet back. Aerostar says Mundo only won thanks to the gauntlet. But if he wears it any longer, he’ll be nothing but a shell, as another god inhabits his body.
Mundo feels that power surging, but admits that no one gets to have his perfect body but himself. Aerostar asks for the gauntlet back, and Mundo takes it off. He gives it back to Aerostar, and Aerostar says Mundo’s a good man. Mundo says he’s not. But for now, he’ll go “celebrate” with Taya. Mundo managed to fight off such addictive power, but will there be a nasty surprise waiting for him in the locker room?
Lucha Underground Championship Cero Miedo Match: Marty “The Moth” Martinez VS Pentagon Dark!
The beginning of Marty’s reign has been controversial to say the least. First, the “Creepy Bastard” paid his way into a Gift of the Gods Championship match, and took advantage of a beaten down El Dragon Azteca Jr. Then he paid Antonio Cueto to make it an instant cash-in! And with the help of his Black Widow girlfriend, he took the title from Pentagon after Pentagon had been through a Triple Threat against Mil Muertes and King Cuerno. However, Marty’s the only man crazy enough to think he can beat the Bone Collector at his own game. Will Marty prove there’s a method to his madness? Or will Pentagon again prove that he is the only one truly with #CeroMiedo?
Weapons are already set up, and Believers are thunderous for Pentagon the moment he makes his entrance. And in the complete opposite, the fans rain down boos as Marty makes his way down the stairs. This fight without any rules but to win will begin, after the break.
Lucha Underground returns with the bell, and with Pentagon tossing a chair into Marty’s face! Pentagon goes out to fetch Marty, and bowls him into chairs! Fans are still cheering as Pentagon brings Marty over and around to kick him in the leg. Marty scurries away but Pentagon kicks him again. Pentagon throws Marty into a post, and the champion is busted open! Pentagon tosses items into the ring, such as a trash can full of other items. Fans chant “SI! SI!” as Marty grimaces through his own blood. Pentagon SMACKS Marty with a trash can! The brawl in front of the announce desk, and Pentagon CHOPS and CHOPS Marty. But Marty grins and laughs?! Pentagon kicks Marty in the leg, then bowls him through more chairs!
Pentagon keeps on Marty with stomps and haymakers. He whips Marty at the propped up table, but Marty stops himself. Pentagon runs in but Marty goes to hip toss, only for Pentagon to stop himself. Pentagon hits back, then SUPERKICKS Marty! Marty staggers, but ducks to then hip toss Pentagon through the propped up table! Believers lose their minds once again as Marty enjoys his own crimson mask. Marty stomps Pentagon, then rains down rights. Marty picks up a kendo stick and SMACKS Pentagon! And SMACKS! Pentagon gets into the ring, but Marty has his #AztecPride lunch box. He hasn’t brought this with him in a long time. Marty goes after Pentagon’s mask with bloody fingers! He tears away, but Pentagon resists, so Marty clubs him down.
Marty picks up the lunch box, his blood dripping all over. Marty opens it up, and turns out there’s some leftover beef jerky in there. He snacks on that while digging out what he’s really after: the fork! The same fork he used on Fenix, back when Fenix had a soul and when they were fighting over Melissa Santos. Believers chant “Fork you! Fork you!” as Marty brings the four-pronged weapon over. Just as he did to Fenix, Marty digs into Pentagon’s forehead with the metal silverware! Believers boo, jeer, and some even cringe. Marty tosses the fork aside, and drags Pentagon out of the ring. Marty drops a fist from the apron, then goes back under the ring for plenty of steel chairs. Fans rally for Pentagon, but Marty starts burying Pentagon under chairs. Marty did this to his own sister, Mariposa, not too long ago.
Marty throws chair after chair onto Pentagon, and then SMACKS the entire pile with other chairs. Pentagon manages to get out of the chair pile, and uses one to SMACK Marty in the head! Then Pentagon leaps for a Destroyer to the floor!! Believers lose their minds for about the eighth time tonight while Pentagon puts Marty in the ring. Cover, TWO! The blood continues to flow as this match continues on. Pentagon goes to the trash can, dented and broken as it is, and puts it aside. Marty kicks Pentagon low! There are no rules so that low blow is legal. Marty then hoists Pentagon onto the top rope. He clubs away, then grabs that trash can to put on Pentagon.
Pentagon is in a Tree of Woe with that can around him, and now Marty grabs the barbed wire bat. Marty goes over and swings for the fences on Pentagon! Once, twice, three times, so many times until the trash can splits open! Fans rally up again as Marty digs around under the ring for a can of gasoline! Marty teased doing this before Ultima Lucha, and now he looks to make good on the threat. Marty picks up the bat to hit Pentagon again, then starts pouring on the gas. Pentagon is gasping for air, and Marty pulls out the lighter! Believers love brutality but they don’t want this. Marty holds the lighter up, but Pentagon kicks it away! Marty SUPERKICKS Pentagon then clubs and stomps away as he shouts “Die, Pentagon!”
Believers shout as loud as they can as Marty grabs the bat again. Marty looks to hit another homer, but Pentagon dodges! The bat hits the ropes and comes back to hit Marty! Marty staggers, but grits his teeth and runs at Pentagon. Pentagon hip tosses Marty out and through a table!! Marty is down on the outside while Pentagon is down on the inside. Believers again lose their minds, but then rally behind “Cero Miedo!” with Pentagon. Pentagon gets Marty up and around for a BIG kick. They keep going, and Pentagon aims for the glass! Marty reverses, but Pentagon stops him. Pentagon SUPERKICKS Marty, and throws him through the glass!! Not even Matt Striker can keep from shouting “HOLY SH*T!” The Believers make it an even ten for losing their minds.
Pentagon drags Marty up and around and back into the ring. Marty now bleeds from face and arms, but Pentagon isn’t done with him. Pentagon puts chairs in, and starts setting them up. Fans sing “Ole~! Ole ole ole~! Cero~, Miedo~!” Pentagon brings Marty up onto the half dozen chairs, tucks him in, PACKAGE PILEDRIVER through chairs!! Cover, Pentagon WINS!!
Winner: Pentagon Dark, by pinfall; NEW Lucha Underground Champion
The match is done, the belt returns to its former master, but the carnage is far from over. Pentagon drags Marty into place, but here comes Reclusa! The Black Widow won’t let her man lose an arm along with the gold. But Vampiro has had enough, and gets in the ring. He protects his former protege as he runs off Reclusa and Marty. Vampiro holds the belt and fans again sing “Ole~! Ole ole ole~! Cero~, Miedo~!” Pentagon stands as our first-ever two-time Lucha Underground Champion and the Believers couldn’t be happier for him. Vampiro holds the belt out to Pentagon with respect, and Pentagon takes it. The Bone Collector has come full circle, but the former mentor isn’t happy about it, as he kicks Pentagon in the balls!
But Pentagon doesn’t go down so easy, he kicks Vampiro in the balls, too! The two men from the original Cero Miedo match brawl in the aftermath of this one! They kick and punch each other, but then Vampiro whips Pentagon. pentagon reverses and hits a corner clothesline! Pentagon fires off, but who is this in the skull mask? They SMACK Pentagon with a chair! He takes off that mask to reveal a very similar mask to Pentagon’s own. Vampiro gets a mic, and introduces everyone to his master?! Vampiro throws Pentagon out for The Master, as he climbs up high. Pentagon staggers, as The Master hits a crazy Shooting Star off the camera deck! Believers are confused as Vampiro puts Pentagon back in, for a Crimson Arrow! Just who is this new luchador?
But wait, The Savage, Jake Strong appears! He is the newest Gift of the Gods Champion, and we know now that the title is instant cash-in… Strong tells Pentagon that he can cash in whenever he wants. “Do you hear me?! Whenever I want!” That voice change wasn’t just a trick of the mic… And yes, he’s cashing in!!
Lucha Underground Championship, Gift of the Gods Cash-In Match: Pentagon Dark VS Jake Strong!
The Savage shows no mercy as he picks the bones of the bloodied and battered Bone Collector. And speaking of bones, Strong puts the Ankle Lock on immediately! Fans don’t want this, but they can’t do a thing as Strong snaps Pentagon’s ankle! Pentagon doesn’t tap, but he does pass out. The boos rain down as the match is over!
Winner: Jake Strong, by submission; NEW Lucha Underground Champion
Believers call “Bullsh*t!” but Strong has taken advantage of the new and corrupt system in The Temple. The Savage Era begins as the season ends, where will everything go from here?!
In an undisclosed location…
Aerostar, King Cuerno, and El Dragon Azteca Jr. meet, the Gauntlet of the Gods still in the hands of the Man of Time and Space. Cuerno says the gauntlet is too dangerous, so it must be sent back into hiding. Azteca says Matanza has already grown too strong, but after what Mundo did, they can use the gauntlet to strike The Monster down for good. Aerostar breaks the tie by telling Azteca, “Make it quick.” Azteca says, “She plans to.” And just below them, Matanza Cueto paces. But she walks in, armed with the gauntlets. Now she knows the truth: El Dragon Azteca Primero didn’t kill her parents, but Matanza did! It’s BLACK LOTUS! She’s armed with the Gauntlet, and will finally have her revenge!
Matanza runs in, but into a flurry of strikes! Fiver finger death palm! The Monster’s heart is crushed, and Matanza Cueto is dead. Azteca Jr. says that her parents can finally rest in peace. And so can his master. Lotus returns the gauntlet, but then Strong finds Azteca! Strong attacks quick, and says the gauntlet isn’t Azteca’s to have. Strong breaks Azteca’s ankle, and takes the gauntlet! The Gauntlet belongs “to US!” The Savage now has the gauntlet AND the title! Will he soon have everything in his possession?
Johnny Mundo finally meets up with Taya. Did she see? Babe? She okay? Why wasn’t she in his corner? Okay, he gets it, she wanted him to prove he could do it himself. And he did! Revenge is theirs, but how about that honeymoon? Huh, Mrs. Mundo? “Sorry, Johnny. I’m not your wife.” ROSA HAS CONTROL!! And she uses Taya’s body to beat up Mundo with one hand! “I am a god.” What is the fate of the Guru of Greatness?!
Everything is coming together. “Just as prophesied.” Agent Winter, Antonio Cueto, Vampiro’s Master, they all sit in the limousine together, fully aware that more Aztec gods have taken human form while the Lucha Underground Championship is back under their control. Now on to destroying the Seven Aztec Tribes! Savage joins this dark council meeting, and everyone takes note of the blood on his shirt and on the gauntlet. Sorry to say, it’s Matanza’s blood. But Matanza was a worthy host, “and The Order will never forget his sacrifice.” But now, they need a new host. So says Lord WADE BARRETT!! “Does anyone else have any bad news?” No? Then time to take over the world!
Flashback to one year ago!
When Antonio took Matanza’s key from Dario, Aerostar popped in later, to give HIM the Amulet of Life!! “Come with me.” Dario was alive again, and sprang up in the coffin. “What the f–”
TO BE CONTINUED!!
This was an INSANE finale! And hopefully not a series finale, either. That 2 outta 3 Falls could’ve been better, as that second fall was really quick. However, Fenix winning makes some sense, as they might not be done exploring his darker turn. The Death Match was pretty great, and Mack winning makes sense because he’s been building great momentum as this underdog fan favorite for years. Holy crap Taya is now Rosa in human form, and though Mundo uses the Gauntlet of the Gods to defeat Matanza in epic fashion, it looks like she might’ve killed him. Maybe he should’ve have given the gauntlet up after all, and then there’d be an epic battle of demigods backstage. But oh well, Mundo is busy in Impact so maybe he won’t be around for Season 5.
That Cero Miedo match was the most insane part of this, and man that was a lot of blood. I thought Reclusa would show up sooner, but I guess it didn’t matter when the real screw job was Vampiro and “The Master” beat up Pentagon to leave him for dead and so that Jake Strong could cash in. I had a feeling Strong was going to cash in regardless of the other twists, but this makes him seem even more of a vulture. Of course, now that we know he’s been working with everyone else in this “Order”, it makes sense. I was really shocked to see Black Lotus return to wreck Matanza and kill his character off, but Jeff Cobb being in both NJPW and ROH now must have something to do with it.
Then the twists kept coming at the end as The Order gets the title, the gauntlet and we finally see their leader’s face! PLUS Dario is back from the dead. That’ll get awkward if father and son meet again, since they’re the same actor, though… I have no idea where the story goes from here but it’s fitting to be an epic battle from here on out.
My Score: 8.9/10
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Andrew’s IMPACT Sacrifice Results & Match Ratings: 3.24.2023
Well damn, 24 hours changes everything! Josh is injured and has to vacate the World title! Mickie is also injured but she’s making her announcement during the show. How does IMPACT salvage their two main title pictures at Sacrifice?
Well hot damn, a lot of news popped up in less than 24 hours. So Josh Alexander tore his triceps; so he has to vacate the World Title and he’s being replaced by Steve Maclin in the 6 man match. Mickie James apparently also has an injury, but they are going to turn it into a segment on the show instead of a straight up vacating.
Now from a story perspective this sucks since I loved the Maclin/Alexander segment last night. That’s just me being selfish since I wanted to see that build and Maclin get the big win he deserves. Now he’ll be facing Kushida for the vacated title at Rebellion, and even if Maclin wins it will feel a little flat. Here’s to hoping that when Josh returns from injury they can find a way to bridge the time lost and keep the story going eventually.
.@MeanGiaMiller caught up with @FrankieKazarian and #RichSwann to talk about @Walking_Weapon's unfortunate injury and @SteveMaclin replacing him as their partner TONIGHT at #Sacrifice! #CountdownToSacrifice pic.twitter.com/jdnqk6BLN9
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 24, 2023
- Speedball Mike Bailey vs Jonathan Gresham: Bailey wins via Reverse Figure Four – *** 3/4
- Digital Media Championship: Joe Hendry (c) vs Brian Myers: Hendry retains via Standing Ovation – ***
- Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal & Savannah Evans vs Deonna Purrazzo: Deonna wins via Venus de Milo – *** 1/4
- Kenny King w/Eddie Edwards vs PCO: PCO wins via Straight Right Chair Punch – *** 1/4
- X Division Championship: Lince Dorado vs Trey Miguel (c): Trey retains via Cradle – *
- IMPACT Tag Team Titles: TMDK (Shane Haste & Bad Dude Tito) vs Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) (c): Bullet Club retains via ABC 1-2-Sweet – ****
- Busted Open Match: Bully Ray vs Tommy Dreamer: Bully wins – ** 1/2
- Time Machine (Kushida, Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs Rich Swann, Frankie Kazarian & Steve Maclin: Kushida wins via Hoverboard Lock – ****
Speedball Mike Bailey vs Jonathan Gresham
With the injuries in the main event, I could definitely see one, or both of these guys; fast tracked into the title scene after Rebellion. And I don’t think anyone would really be mad at that.
A quick tit for tat start, no one really gets any advantage. Just a few quick counters and takeover attempts. They both pause to take in chants from the crowd and then lock up again. Collar and Elbow tie up, they don’t release and both roll one another under the rope and out of the ring. There is an early moment where while he’s against the ropes he pokes Speedball in the eye and then apologizes. So things go back to a technical face vs face, but it could be a precursor.
Technical catch wrestling continues. Wrestling one another down, trying to get positions for small submission picks or limb attacks, but nothing is sticking yet. Gresham does manage to an Indian Deathlock, and then a Reverse Figure Four that Gresham conveniently can’t untangle so the referee has to do it and Bailey is pissed. Gresham tries to explain it, but Bailey lights him up, Gresham falls out of the ring, Golden Triangle Moonsault and now the aggression is starting to pick up. Hamstring Kicks and Chops from Bailey, but Gresham baits the attack and trips up Bailey before attacking the left knee with a grin on his face. Bailey is grounded for a while and Gresham keeps trying to twist off his leg. Eventually some Up Kicks break the submission attempt but Gresham wrestles him down again into a Bow and Arrow Trailer Hitch kind of move. Since Bailey has Tanahashi next week, Gresham must be trying to make Bailey’s knees equal. Good Guy Gresham.
Bailey starts stringing some offense together, but a few Low Dropkicks ruins Bailey’s base and causes him to face plant and the offense is going nowhere. Gresham even goes for the pinfall by trying to hyper extend the leg he’s been working on. Strikes continue to trade, Gresham tries to shoot the half but Bailey kicks off, Hamstring Kick again, Gresham Kips Up but clutches the leg a little, a chance for Speedball but Gresham cradles him to the ground and locks in a Figure Four. Speedball eventually rolls to the apron, Gresham tries to continue the stretching but Bailey kicks him into the post, sweeps the leg and Moonsault Double Knees right on Gresham’s head; Bailey went full Billy Kidman with his offense.
Bailey and Gresham continue to jockey for position on the outside, it looks like it might be a double count out. Gresham gets in at 9, Bailey gets in right at the 10 and the referee allows the match to continue. Some quick offense, Tornado Kicks to the corner, Ultima Weapon misses, Gresham goes for the Figure Four again but Speedball reverses it and Gresham taps pretty quick.
Backstage segment with Brian Myers, Moose joins and says he’ll help him beat Hendry – but then Santino shows up! He tells Moose he’s dumb and just stooged himself out, so he’s banning him from ringside. Who would’ve thunk it, the comedy character brings the logic.
Digital Media Championship: Joe Hendry (c) vs Brian Myers
Myers powders after a few early bumps and then Hendry follows him. Hendry is definitely not fighting with “champion’s advantage”, as is the way for babyfaces. Myers tries to fight back on the floor but a Scoop Slam leaves Myers on the receiving end. Hendry has to roll in to reset the 10 count and Myers catches him.
A few quick attacks, Roster Cut attempt but Hendry gets the goozle on. Standing Ovation attempt but Myers slips it, Chop Block, and continues to hammer down on Hendry. Myers with a Falcon Arrow and a bunch of slightly arrogant offense until he goes for the Crossbody, gets caught again, Sack of Shit, and Hendry is back on the offensive. Pop Up Power – no, slips and a Running Spear from Myers for a 2 count. Myers hits the top rope but Hendry cuts him off, Myers pushes him off, launches and Hendry hits the RKO mid move! Throws Myers into the ropes, Standing Ovation, and Hendry retains!
So Mickie addresses her injury, it seems she broke a rib during the tag match. They are allowing Mickie to hold on to the title until Rebellion. Either she defends it in a 3 way versus Jordynne and the winner of the 4 Way at the Multiverse United show or Jordynne will face the winner of the 4 Way for the vacated title.
Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal & Savannah Evans vs Deonna Purrazzo
Deonna starts off angry, Gisele is getting rocked early, they go through a few rope running counter cradles and slides but its just early counter wrestling. Gisele manages to surprise Deonna going for an Armbar, but Deonna counters it, tries the Venus de Milo but Shaw powders. Deonna hits the Baseball Slide, starts beating on Gisele but she slides back in to distract the referee while Savannah clocks Deonna.
Triplicate European Uppercuts from Gisele keep her very comfortably in control. Another distraction to the ref and Savannah swings and connects with Deonna again. Deonna tries to fight from the corner, Gisele grabs Deonna’s feet drapes her across the ropes and drops both knees on Deonna. Gisele drives her knee into Deonna’s shoulder blades and goes for the Chin Lock. Deonna tries to power out, Gisele stifles it a little, but Deonna catches her with a Twisting Neckbreaker. Slow start to the strike exchange but it slowly picks up, Deonna with a beautiful spot of a no look Back Kick right to Gisele’s stomach, Running Knee Lift into the Russian Leg Sweep for 2. Deonna Pump Kick, Gisele Superkick, Deonna bounces off the ropes, Flatliner into Koji Clutch, but Gisele slides back a little to turn it into a pinfall to break the submission.
Both women have wrist control and just swing at each other. Deonna gets the best, one big swing but Gisele ducks it, catches Deonna in Shock and Awe (Backbreaker into Flatliner). Denouement attempt, Deonna grabs at the arm for the Fujiwara attempt but Gisele fights it off. Venus de Milo gets locked in and Deonna holds it a little longer to make a point.
Savannah attacks Deonna afterwards, but Tasha Steelz music hits. Tasha tries to play nice like she’s here to help Savannah, then cheap shots her, fights off Jai with a Tornado DDT kicking off of Savannah. Okurr on Jai and Tasha cleans house and babyfaces herself.
Kenny King w/Eddie Edwards vs PCO
Kenny comes out in an Honor No More shirt, which is a nice way to play into the story.
Eddie tries to get PCO’s attention and then Kenny attacks him right as the bell rings. PCO turns things around shortly, Eddie keeps trying to find angles to give Kenny ambush spots but PCO keeps fighting back. PCO stalks Eddie on the outside and Kenny hits a beautiful Tornillo, then a Scoop Slam as he mocks the whole Frankenstein gimmick. PCO rolls in and Kenny John Woo’s him into the corner and starts Bootwashing his face to talk smack. PCO fires, goozle and just throws Kenny out of the ring.
PCO kicks Kenny from getting back in the ring, looks to do his Senton but “short circuits”. So PCO does a Senton to the wrong side of the ring, crashing but popping right back up, and it apparently helped correct the issue. So Senton onto Kenny, throws him back in, Kenny tries the Eddy Gordo kick but PCO just barrels over him. PCO drapes Kenny in the corner, Codebreaker, into the back of the head Guillotine Leg Drop and now PCO pulls him to the apron.
Here we go, Deanimator attempt – but Eddie cuts him off, PCO kicks him back into the cameras, Kenny gets up and an Iconoclasm bouncing off the apron of the ring! Kenny throws him into the steps, rolls in, things he’s all but won…yet PCO beats the 10 count. “He’s Not Human” chant starts, Frog Splash from Kenny and PCO kicks out and fires at 2. Eddie throws a Kendo stick in the ring to distract the referee from Kenny using a chair. Kenny hits PCO once, PCO shakes it off and has a gameplan. So he actually helps keep the referee distracted to bait in Kenny for another chairshot attempt, but PCO just punches through the chair and knocks out Kenny.
Maclin, Kaz and Rich have a backstage segment. It perfectly shows the story beats of Maclin being annoyed that he put in all this prep and recon on Josh just for the opponent to be flipped. Typical tumultuous team members vibe, but Maclin gets his story beats across beautifully.
Can #RichSwann and @FrankieKazarian trust @SteveMaclin? #Sacrifice pic.twitter.com/TcEZ79IWkC
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 25, 2023
X Division Championship: Lince Dorado vs Trey Miguel (c)
Okay Lince comes out in a bathrobe with some cringe ass “Lucha Lit” gimmick. I…hate it. This is probably the first time ever that I want Trey to win. Cause Dorado is cringe as hell. In a game of them both sucking, I’ll pick the style of trash that I can tolerate more…which is Trey.
Lucha counter wrestling with flips over trips and that stupid ass Mirrored Dropkick Spot. I also don’t love the Lince doing the cat mannerisms, but Puma King and a few others have done that…so I guess its more tolerated in Lucha. This whole match has been a little paint by numbers boring Lucha where the moves are done just to pop the crowd but not to actually accomplish anything.
Diving whatever moves they accomplish nothing. Its really hard for me to care about flippy trash matches. Lince hits 2 of the 3 step Moonsaults, but Trey of course no sells and dodges the third, Tiger Wall Kick, but Trey stumbles a little for the Enzuigiri, Trey also hits a sloppy Outside In Tiger Feint…its just sloppy spots for spots sake. I would probably be more entertained if I had Runescape fired up on a different tab. This is just a waste of space, much like both “wrestlers”.
Lince hits a Avalanche Frankensteiner, into a Shooting Star Press but Trey powders. Lince tries that bounce off the corner with his legs spot, but its sloppy. Another sloppy Tiger Feint from Trey, Slingshot Sunset Bomb for 2. These are just stupid moves for stupid sake. Lince tries to cut off Trey from a rope run with a Big Boot but mostly misses, makes the whole cut off exchange look stupid. Trey with a flash cradle during the cut offs for pinfall. Eww…this was garbage.
IMPACT Tag Team Titles: TMDK (Shane Haste & Bad Dude Tito) vs Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) (c)
It is nice to see a variation of TMDK back together. I also enjoyed Tito called Ace and Bey the “Mini Bullet Club” since they’re the juniors heavyweights.
Tito and Bey start off, Bey is trying to show off his speed, Tito gets across the power though. Tito kinda looks like a young Scott Steiner, and he literally tosses Bey back into his corner. Ace tags in, tries to do something but Tito is just too strong. Haste gets tagged in for some flashy yet effective offense. Ace finds something with the Triangle Victory Roll, Bey blind tag, cheap shot on Tito, Russian Leg Sweep + Low Sweep combination into some Click Click Boom. So Bullet Club is showing very nice Junior style synergy. Haste is very loud and animated, so he’s a great one to have eating the offense. Especially when they do their Back Rake goof spot.
Haste finally maneuvers things to tag Tito in, and Haste hands off Ace to Tito and Tito hits a Standing Blue Thunder Bomb. Tree of Woe, Bey tries to come in to break up the spot but the referee is distract, Tito steps up and stands on the groin, nice homage to Petey Williams. We are in Canada. Announce team almost sets up too much meme fodder, and then Rehwoldt steers into it. Rehwoldt said Bey was trying to rush into to get Tito off…paused for a second, which you know Hannifan gave him a look. So then they just pivot to everyone in TMDK being like Australian Sex Pistols. Very clever misdirection.
The match is fun, Bey gets the hot tag, clocks everyone, Haste tries a Lariat, Bey ducks that, flies onto Tito on the outside, comes back in, Tornado Fameasser for 2. Bullet Club goes for a Torture Rack/Triangle Kick combo, but Haste gets out of it. Tito gets tagged in and he start to look like Steve Williams with the Doctor Bomb for 2. Tito hits a big battering ram Dive on Bey to clear him out. Haste Falcon Arrow, Tito Froggy Splash, but Bey breaks it up.
Tito starts getting ping ponged between the two Juniors, Torture Rack/Triangle Kick combination, for 1-2-3? – no Haste comes in the referee says it was in time to stop the 3 count. Tito charges and a beautifully times Superkick + Spinning Back Heel Kick on Tito. He’s dazed, ABC 1-2-Sweet! Bullet Club retain!
Busted Open Match: Bully Ray vs Tommy Dreamer
This is a First Blood Match for anyone who doesn’t know, and Dreamer comes out with an ECW Championship Belt.
Chair duel to start things, ECW replica belt to the face of Bully Ray. Dreamer grabs a soda from a fan, Muta mist on Bully, tries to shove the can into his skull for early blood but no. Bully crotches Dreamer on the guardrail and then picks a fight with Darren McCarty who’s in the crowd. Darren McCarty was the enforcer for the Detroit Red Wings, so its very old school letting the ex sports guy play. Bully also has a great spot where he pulls out a step ladder, then asks the referee to hold it, does the Jimmy Snuka pose and goes for a Splash and misses. Bully gets to rile up AEW and WWF fans all in one spot. Good old school heat. Corny, but good.
Dreamer gets a bag of tacks, Bully fights off the Piledriver, gets the cheese grater but Dreamer hits the Bionic Elbow as a counter. Cheese grater with Dreamer, Dreamer charges, Bully pulls the referee in the corner, so ref bump. Dreamer eventually makes contact with the cheese grater, but there’s no referee and Bully has his back to the camera, so it slow rolls the result nicely. Good Hands hit the ring, on with a towel to see if he can blot the bleeding before the ref comes to.
Bully hits Tommy with pocket tacks instead of pocket sand. Tries to drive Dreamer’s face into the tacks and then Elbow it further down but Dreamer moves. Dreamer grabs the grater again, Bully tries to beg off, screams he’s sorry and now tries to guilt Tommy with his family is going to see this. Dreamer actually stops and then Bully hits him in the balls. Bully busts open Tommy with the tacks, the Good Hands slide in Tommy as the referee comes to, so the referee only sees Dreamer bleeding. Its a solid old school Hardcore match but it was definitely a little too plodding and corny.
Yuya Uemura tries to make the save, then Darren McCarty jumps the railing. This really has turned into ECW, Bully gets a mic, asks him if he really wants to fight and tells security to let him go. LOL – a literal Hockey Fight. McCarty gets the best of things, Good Hands mug him from behind. Triple Powerbomb McCarty through the table.
Scott D’Amore’s music hits! Scott starts stripping like he’s Ric Flair. Bully calls down Scott, but Scott has backup. He calls Rino, Heath, Gresham, Baily and Joe Hendry. Good Hands try to attack Scott…Scott stops him…and HITS A CANADIAN DESTROYER! Can this lead to a Lethal Lockdown match? Team D’Amore versus Team Bully? Give me that…give me some Lethal Lockdown now!
Time Machine (Kushida, Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs Rich Swann, Frankie Kazarian & Steve Maclin
Shelley and Swann start off, and its just a bit of chain wrestling. They both have Hammerlocks, Headlocks, and just twist around to try and find an angle. Shelley speeds things up a little, Shoulder Tackle, rope run, Swann goes down and Shelley puts on the brakes to sink in a quick STF but Rich grabs the rope. Kaz and Sabin tag in and we get some Battle of the Futures nostalgia.
Back and forth, Up and Over, Sabin with the Arm Drag into the Top Wristlock. Kaz fights through, a little more quick counters and fun stalemate spots as they are all having fun with each other. Kushida tags in and points to Maclin. Kaz slaps Maclin’s chest and we all know Maclin isn’t a fun loving babyface like Kaz and Swann, so the tone should start to change. Kushida starts by starting Grounded ala Inoki vs Ali, then manages to trip up Maclin and keep the mat wrestling going, but Maclin finally gets back to hit feet and can finally use his size and power to his advantage. Shelley blind tag, Time Splitters PK to the Arm combo.
Shelley keeps on the arm that got kicks with the Arm Wringer and then a few quick shots to the damaged arm. Kaz makes the blind tag after Maclin uses the middle rope into Shelley’s throat. Kaz and Rich with a little Hip Toss tandem stuff for a near fall on Shelley. But the tone of Rich and Kaz is definitely much different. Shelley fights his way out of the enemy corner, Time Machine triple team, Single Leg Crab, Camel Clutch, Sliding Dropkick from Sabin onto Rich. Kaz is trying to police too much of Maclin’s motion, typical team that doesn’t get along stuff. Rich driven into Kaz in the corner, triple Dropkicks from all of Time Machine.
Kushida tags in, stares down Maclin and then Maclin picks up and throws Rich to Time Machine because you can tell he’s frustrated getting policed with all of his moves. MCMG hold Rich, Kushida hits the Baseball Slide on the restrained wrestler and Kushida does the little Liger spin around pose/taunt and stares down Maclin. Shelley starts with the joint manipulation, and Swann is just getting torn apart. Swann in the Tree of Woe, Sliding Dropkick to Swann’s face, and then the Triple Baseball Slide. Sabin tags in with the Octopus Hold on Rich which he rolls into a pinfall, but Rich kicks out. You hear Maclin say “All you have to do is tag me bitch” – which proves that Maclin is trying to be a team player in his own way.
Rich fights out of the triple team, and chooses to tag in Kaz. Kaz hot tag, exchanges with Sabin which turns into the Guillotine Leg Drop through the ropes, Kaz is taking out everyone right now. Two Springboard Leg Drops…and now a third as all of the Time Machine offense is stopped. Sabin blind tag though gives Time Machine some momentum. Rich tries to come in, gets rocked, Maclin charges, Sabin grabs him and Tornado DDT sends Maclin to powder. Missile Dropkick/Flatliner on Kaz for 2.
Cradle Shock counter, rolling tag to Rich. Avalanche Headscissors, Rich goes to the top rope, Maclin tags himself in, but Time Machine gets rolling. Dragon Screw from Kushida with the Mutoh pose afterwards. Maclin and Shelley are legal, and going back and forth. Double Arm Breaker from Shelley after Kaz tries to get involved. Maclin gets some offense back in, Caught in the Crosshairs form Maclin, Maclin tags in Kaz, Kaz tags Rich, tandem attacks, Cutter form Rich into a 450…1-2-Kushida Kicks out! Swann goes for Phoenix Splash but misses. Flying Armbar from Kushida, triple Submission spot, but Maclin gets out of his and breaks Kushida’s submission. Maclin stares down Time Machine, hits the ropes and gets eaten alive by tandem attacks.
Time Machine goes for a Double Shiranui Tower, but it gets broken up. Outatime lands on Kaz. Sliced Bread lands on Swann. Tanaka Punch blocked, Maclin eats Shell Shock, Sabin gives Kushida a rolling start to throw him onto Maclin like a Spider Monkey and sink in the Hoverboard Lock. Maclin taps relatively quick, which is strategic to not risk injury.
Overall Score: 7/10
Talk about a show that no one knew what the hell to expect! Josh vacating the belt means that things had to change with fairly short notice. Mickie’s implications of either a Triple threat or she’ll hand over the belt to the winner if she’s not cleared is something you don’t see too often. But when it comes down to the card, the show was relatively good. Trey & Lince was hot garbage, and Busted Open was what we all kind of expected. Was it a bit more entertaining with some of the ECW nods? Sure. But it was just a spectacle and honestly Scott D’Amore hitting the Canadian Destroyer made that all worth it.
OH CANADA! @ScottDAmore CANADIAN DESTROYERS @TheJasonHotch and Windsor EXPLODES! #Sacrifice pic.twitter.com/iqqpiH0tMZ
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 25, 2023
The tag and six man matches were the best stuff on the card, and sets the stage decently well for storylines into Rebellion. I’m not joking though, if we don’t get Team D’Amore vs Team Bully in a Lethal Lockdown…the salt will pour. Don’t let the Canadian Destroyer spot be for naught! Oh – and put the damn belt on Maclin!
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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/24/23)
It’s a family feud!
Wrestling really does have more than one royal family.
While Cody Rhodes is back on SmackDown to take on Ludwig Kaiser, Dominik Mysterio plans on confronting in his entire family in Las Vegas! Will Rey finally snap on his son?
- Cody Rhodes VS Ludwig Kaiser w/ Giovanni Vinci; Cody wins.
- Rey Mysterio VS LA Knight; Knight wins.
- WrestleMania Women’s Tag Team Showcase Qualifier: Lacey Evans & Xia Li VS Shotzi Blackheart & Natalya; Shotzi & Natalya win and advance to WrestleMania.
- “Butch” Pete Dunne w/ The Brawling Brutes VS GUNTER; Gunther wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Cody Rhodes VS Ludwig Kaiser w/ Giovanni Vinci!
The American Nightmare is back on SmackDown, looking to stay razor sharp for his match with the Tribal Chief. But will he get more than just a tune-up from the Impeccable German? Or will Kaiser keep the mat sacred?
The bell rings and the two circle. Fans rally up for “CODY! CODY!” Ludwig eggs Cody on, they tie up, and they’re in a deadlock. Cody powers Ludwig to a corner but Ludwig turns it around. Ludwig lets off, but throws a body shot! Ludwig whips, Cody reverses and reels Ludwig in to suplex! Fans fire up as Cody keeps Ludwig in the air, before the GOURD BUSTER! But wait, here comes Paul Heyman. Cody is distracted by the Wise Man, Ludwig waistlocks, but Cody trips Ludwig to then SHINING WIZARD! Ludwig bails out while Cody glances back at Heyman. Fans continue to rally for Cody while SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and Cody staggers over to Ludwig. Ludwig UPPERCUTS then COMPLETE SHOTS! Cover, TWO! Ludwig scowls, and he rains down fists in a headlock! Fans boo but Ludwig lets off. Ludwig clamps onto Cody with a chinlock, then CLUBS him down. Fans boo as Ludwig goes outside to drag Cody to the corner, but Cody YANKS Ludwig into the post! Cody goes out to CHOP Ludwig, ROCKS him, and then CHOPS him against the announce desk! Cody rains down fists and fans fire up! Cody puts Ludwig back in the ring, runs and springboards, but Ludwig trips him up and YANKS him down!
Heyman is stoic as Ludwig sits Cody up to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Cody scowls but Ludwig looms over him. Ludwig pie faces Cody, drags him up but Cody ROCKS Ludwig and JABS and throws a body shot. Ludwig throat chops in return! Ludwig CHOKES Cody on the ropes, the ref counts and Ludwig lets off. Fans boo, but Vinci gets a cheap shot! Cover, TWO! Ludwig clamps back on with a chinlock. Cody endures, fans rally up, and Cody fights up to his feet. Ludwig throws Cody down by his hair! Fans boo more as Ludwig paces around and taunts Cody. Ludwig rains down more fists, then scrapes Cody’s face!
Ludwig runs to BASEMENT UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Heyman is still stoic as Cody drags himself to ropes. Ludwig kicks the ropes to jam Cody’s arm! Ludwig drags Cody up to UPPERCUT! Cody ROCKS Ludwig with forearm after forearm! Ludwig JAWBREAKERS! Ludwig throws body shots and stomps in the corner, whips corner to corner, then runs in, but Cody puts him on the apron! Cody ROCKS Ludwig, and BEAUTIFUL DISASTER KICKS Ludwig down! Fans fire up and Heyman is upset now. Ludwig staggers up into a kick, and Cody reels Ludwig in! Cody hooks the arms, but now SOLO SIKOA appears!
Fans boo as the Bloodline approaches, but Ludwig CHOP BLOCKS Cody’s leg! Solo and Heyman stay at the ramp as Ludwig goes out. Cody throws hands, whips, but Ludwig reverses and sends Cody crashing into steel steps! Fans boo but Cody drags himself up, and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns again and Cody throws hands on Ludwig. Ludwig headlocks, Cody powers out and things speed up, but DOUBLE LARIATS take both men down! Solo & Heyman are now ringside as fans rally up. Vinci coaches Ludwig but Cody sits up first. They stand, Cody throws a body shot but Ludwig throws a haymaker. Cody throws a forearm, Ludwig gives it back, they go shot for shot, back and forth, faster and faster, and fans fire up! Ludwig kicks low, whips, but Cody reverses to then follow and CLOBBER Ludwig! Cody kicks, RHODES UPPERCUT! Cody then baits Ludwig, goes up and over in a corner, and POWERSLAMS! Cover, TWO!
Solo is stoic, Heyman smiles, but then Vinci throws in his track jacket. The ref gets that out of the way, but misses the HIGH LOW COMBO from Imperium! Cover, TWO!! Cody survives and Ludwig is surprised. Ludwig shouts “NEIN!” and runs in to UPPERCUT, GAMANGIRI and HALF HATCH SUPLEX! Ludwig goes up top, leaps, but into a dragon sleeper! But Ludwig drops to victory roll! TWO, and Cody dodges Ludwig to springboard, CODY CUTTER! Fans fire up as Cody stares down Heyman & Solo! Cody waits on Ludwig, reels him back in, CROSS RHODES!! Cover, Cody wins!
Winner: Cody Rhodes, by pinfall
The Impeccable German was less than perfect, and he loses to the American Nightmare! But Cody watches Solo get up on the apron and Heyman has the mic. Heyman has Solo stand down, and then tells Cody, “You’re owed an apology. And since I’m the Wise Man of the Bloodline, may I? I am going to be the one to deliver that apology to you.” The ring announcer did a lousy job. She must be from Vegas. Fans boo and Heyman acts surprised. But Heyman will do the honors. “Ladies and gentlemen! Your winner… and still challenger for the reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman Reigns… Cody! RRRRHODES!”
Fans are torn but Heyman says this is the very same Cody Rhodes that sees his Road to WrestleMania with a giant pothole in front of him that happens this Monday Night Raw, when Cody goes one versus one against… SOLO! And if, and isn’t that a big “if,” IF Cody survives Solo, then it’s not the Road to WrestleMania. All roads lead to Roman Reigns, who will be here live on SmackDown next Friday to see Cody one final time face to face. Heyman tosses the mic to Cody and he catches it. “Is that what we’re doing, Mr. Heyman? Are you moving the goal posts for me? Another thing you did, you interrupted them while they were singing the song.
“And now, you wanna move the goal posts and move ’em right here, huh? Am I expected to say ‘No?’ Oh, it’s six days out from the biggest match in the history of my family, I should probably say no, right? WELL, I probably shouldn’t have wrestled with half my body hanging off, and I still beat Seth Rollins! So when it comes to you,” he says as he points at Solo, “undefeated and as good as you are, like I said last week. You’re. Not. Ready!” Fans chant that, then Cody continues.
“And as for the champion, Roman Reigns. After Solo finds out that he’s not ready, at WrestleMania on April 2nd, your boy, Roman Reigns, the Undisputed WWE Universal Champion, will find out the same thing. He is not ready, either!” Cody throws the mic back and Heyman misses it! Will everything about this homestretch to Hollywood be a nightmare for The Bloodline?
BREAKING NEWS for WrestleMania!
The very first match of night one on Saturday, April 1st will be… AUSTIN THEORY VS JOHN CENA! The United States Championship will set the pace for the weekend, will The Now find that he’s not ready, either?
Charlotte Flair is here!
Vegas fires up as The Queen heads to the ring. The SmackDown Women’s Champion has her pyro then gets the mic to tell Las Vegas, “We are just eight days away from WrestleMania! Fourteen times. Fourteen time world champion. And I can tell you, that was not built on fear, insecurities or nepotism. The same three things have been used against me by everyone, and I mean everyone, since I started in this business.
“Fear. What is fear? Fear is a lack of understanding. It’s ignorance. This business wasn’t built on fear. This business was built on respect! Rhea Ripley, I don’t fear you. I respect you! The only thing that I fear is my own potential. I respected Nikki and Brie. I respect Sasha, Bayley, Becky, Trish, Ronda, Asuka, Natty! I respected all of them! Insecurities. Damn right I have insecurities! Are you really ‘whatting’ me? This is important to me so listen. Insecurities, damn right I have them. And I have built this house on every brick that all of you have thrown at me! For the last seven YEARS! Lastly, nepotism.” Fans “WOO~!”
“That’s right, Vegas. I love my dad. And I will never apologize for continuing the greatest legacy in sports entertainment! And whether you like it or don’t like it, you better learn to love it, because diamonds are forever, and so is Charlotte Flair. WOO~!” The Queen is fired up, but will she be able to hold her throne at WrestleMania?
Rey Mysterio VS LA Knight!
The King of Lucha Libre, the headliner of this year’s WWE Hall of Fame class, has been pushed and pushed and pushed by his punk of a son, and the Mega Star was one big mouth too far! Will Rey be able to shut up the obnoxious jerk that isn’t Dominik? Or will things only get worse for Rey on the Road to WrestleMania Weekend?
SmackDown returns and Knight makes his entrance. The bell rings and the two circle. Knight chases Rey but Rey dodges and fires off hands! Knight shoves Rey away, but Rey slides under and dropkicks Knight to a corner. Rey runs in but Knight fights off the monkey flip. But Rey avoids the elbow drop! Rey runs in, and now he MONKEY FLIPS! Knight staggers up,. Rey KICKS Knight to a corner, and then rains down fists! Fans count all the way to TEN, then Rey gives us some Latino Heat. Rey runs, but Knight FLAPJACKS him down! Knight stomps Rey, stomps him to ropes, but the ref counts.
Knight lets off, “YEAH!” Then he bumps Rey off a buckle. Knight throws hands, JABS Rey, then digs his boots in. The ref counts, Knight lets off at 4, and Knight brings Rey up. Knight shoves Rey into the corner, Rey bounces off buckles, and into the NECKBREAKER! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” Cover, ONE!! Knight is annoyed and he throws fists down. Knight keeps on Rey, throws hands, then he bumps Rey off buckles. Fans rally and duel, but Knight whips Rey to ropes. Rey ducks ‘n’ dodges then tilt-o-whirls to RANA! Knight flounders out of the ring and fans fire up!
Rey runs, WRECKS Knight with a dropkick, then he builds speed. Rey SLIDES to SPLASH! Fans fire up for that one, and Rey stalks Knight to CLUB him! Rey puts Knight in the ring, climbs up and shoulders in! Then he GAMANGIRIS Knight away, climbs the corner, but here comes Dom! Dom said he’d ruin the fun, and Knight trips Rey up! Rey tumbles to the mat, but Dom doesn’t care. Fans boo as Dom walks down the ramp while SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns again and Knight stomps away on Rey again. Knight drags Rey up but Rey throws hands! Rey fires off but Knight knees low! Knight scoops, Rey slips off and rolls Knight up, to then dropkick! Fans fire up while Knight scrambles around. Knight goes after Rey, Rey slips under and runs, but into a BOOT! Cover, TWO! Dom paces at ringside, and Knight sits Rey up to KNEE him in the back! Knight drags Rey up, back suplexes high and hard, then dusts off his hands. “YEAH!” Knight grins as he stands over Rey, then he pulls on the mask. The ref reprimands, Knight whips Rey to ropes, but Rey ducks ‘n’ dodges!
Rey CROSSBODIES, but Knight catches him for a POWERSLAM! Dom smirks while Knight spells it out again. “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” But Rey avoids the elbow drop! Rey and Knight slowly stand up, Rey goes to ropes and Knight storms over, but into an elbow! Rey springboards, wheelbarrows and BULLDOGS! Dom is annoyed but Rey goes to the apron. Rey climbs up, SEATED SENTONS! And Rey keeps moving, SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Knight is still in this but Rey brings him up to whip him to ropes. Knight reverses, kicks low and back suplexes, but Rey lands on his feet! Tilt-o-whirl, but Knight blocks to a BACKPACK SLAM! Cover, TWO!
Knight grows frustrated but he drags Rey back up. Fans rally for “619! 619!” as Knight scoops, but Rey turns slam into DDT! Rey then dropkicks Knight onto the ropes! Fans fire up, Rey dials it up, 619 BLOCKED by Knight! Knight grins, lifts Rey up, but Rey RANAS free! Rey redials, but Dom trips him up!! Fans boo and Rey is furious! He can’t believe Dom is doing this now, but Knight rolls Rey up! KNIGHT WINS!!
Winner: LA Knight, by pinfall
Dom smiles because he just screwed his dad over. Dom gets the mic and tells, “Jefe… You gonna give me what I want? Huh? C’mon. C’mon Or are you gonna run away? Or are you gonna finally be a man and face me at WrestleMania?” Dom pushes Rey, and Rey brings down the straps. To wag his finger, “No.” Dom says, “That’s right. Walk away like you always do. Hey, mom. How does it feel to be married to such a pathetic loser? A coward who can’t even stand up to his own son?” Fans boo but then Dom points out the rest of the family. He asks if mom knew she married a deadbeat.
She did, because here’s why. She sat there every night while Rey abandoned Dom, sot hat makes her no better! His sister steps up now, and Dom asks Aalyah what she’s gonna do about it. She’s too stupid to understand this. Mom Angie snatches the mic from Dom but Dom snatches it back to tell her to shut up! Rey storms back over and fans fire up! Dom dares Rey to do something, and Rey DECKS Dom!! Dom is shocked but Vegas is thunderous! Rey tells Dom that Dom pushed him to do this. Rey doesn’t wanna do this but Dom gave him no choice! You do not disrespect your mother like that! That is Rey’s wife!
Dom wanted a fight at Mania? Then he’s on!! Fans are thunderous again as Rey says, “I’ll see you at WrestleMania, son.” Dom scurries away, having gotten what he wanted like the brat he is. But will Dom come to regret everything he’s done these past few months?
WrestleMania Women’s Tag Team Showcase Qualifier: Lacey Evans & Xia Li VS Shotzi Blackheart & Natalya!
The Model Soldier teams with The Predator to take on the Wild Child and the Queen of Harts! Liv Morgan & Raquel Rodriguez are watching ringside, who will they see join them in this Fatal 4 Way tag team showcase?
The teams sort out, Shotzi and Lacey start. Fans rally as Shotzi and Lacey circle, then Shotzi gets around to a waistlock. Shotzi ripcords, wrenches and wristlocks but Lacey throws Shotzi by her hair! Cover, TWO! Lacey drags Shotzi up and fans rally as Lacey whips her to the corner. Lacey RAMS into Shotzi, tags Xia, and then mocks the fans. Xia stomps Shotzi, brings her up to CHOP, then taunts Natty. Xia runs in to KNEE and ELBOW Shotzi, then reels her in for an EXPLODER! Cover, TWO! Natty rallies the fans behind Shotzi but Lacey tells them to shut up. Xia bumps Shotzi off buckles and tags in Lacey.
Lacey mocks the fans, then runs to headstand and BRONCO BUSTER! Lacey drags Shotzi up, snapmares and then dribbles Shotzi’s face off the mat! Cover, TWO! Fans rally but Lacey drags Shotzi up. Shotzi throws hands, kicks but Lacey blocks to trip her up! Lacey then sucker punches Natty! Fans boo but Shotzi rolls Lacey up! TWO and Shotzi ENZIGURIS Lacey down! But Natty is still off the corner so Shotzi has to BOOT Lacey away! Shotzi runs but Lacey CLOBBERS her! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up but Lacey tags Xia. Lacey & Xia drag Shotzi up, double whip but Shotzi KICKS Xia and JAWBREAKERS Lacey!
Xia waistlocks Shotzi, Lacey storms up, but Shotzi slips free and the WOMAN’S RIGHT takes out Xia!! Lacey is furious, but Shotzi whips her out of the ring! Shotzi swings on Lacey, Lacey counter punches, but Natty is back! Natty BOOTS Lacey, then Shotzi DIVES to take Lacey down! Fans fire up as Shotzi hurries back in and tags Natty! HART ATTACK! And then the SHARPSHOOTER! Xia taps, Natty & Shotzi win!
Winners: Shotzi Blackheart & Natalya, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)
Two hearts and a lot of fire, these two make it through! But wait, here come Ronda & Shayna! Shayna says, “Look at all the history in the ring right now! I mean, each single one of those women has a reason to want to get revenge on us, right? Let’s look. Broken hand, broken nose, broken arm, broken spirit. What do you say we uh… Give them the opportunity tonight?” Fans fire up as the Baddest Women on the Planet step up, but then Ronda says, “Wait, Shay-Bayz. I’ve got a question for you. How many times have we sold out this exact arena?” A couple times. And what about this entire town? A couple more times.
And how much did they appreciate it? ZERO TIMES! These two have given Vegas more than it deserves, so never again! And certainly not tonight. Shayna agrees with that. But lucky for the others, or maybe unlucky, these two are here to let them know, they’re in the tag team showcase! WrestleMania may be taking place in Hollywood, but the stakes just got raised like here in Vegas! Who wins when the odds are not in their favor?
Drew McIntyre heads to the ring.
Vegas fires up as the Scottish Warrior, Celtic Warrior and Der Ring General are about to converge for a contract signing! The Triple Threat for the Intercontinental Championship isn’t until WrestleMania, but will things break down on SmackDown?
SmackDown returns and Adam Pearce is in the ring to welcome us to this contract signing. But before he can introduce McIntyre, Sheamus and the Brawling Brutes make their way out! “Las Vegas, what’s the crack?” Sheamus says everyone’s been asking why he’s so mad at McIntyre. Imagine this: imagine working 15 YEARS of your life to achieve a particular goal; now imagine telling your best friend about that goal, only for him to go behind your back to try and steal it away from you. Imagine that friend being someone you let sleep and live on your couch, that you brought to his first training session in this business!
McIntyre rolls his eyes as Sheamus has said a lot of this before. Sheamus says, “Now imagine getting the opportunity to smash that person’s face in on the Grandest Stage of Them All, because they’re nothing but a backstabbing-” McIntyre says, “Imagine shutting up for a second. Every week, you run your mouth, you try to give me this guilt trip, trying to make me feel bad. And if it’s not on SmackDown, it’s on social medial with your little gifs and memes you create, blow up my Twitter like a teenage girl. It’s embarrassing, mate!”
McIntyre says last week, they were in this ring, proving why they are the most physical superstars in the WWE! They beat the hell out of each other! And afterwards, they should’ve been in the bar, laughing about it. That’s what they did in the old times. But now, Sheamus is so sensitive, he has this temper, that Sheamus can’t separate personal and business. Sheamus says McIntyre made this personal! McIntyre has a lot he’d love to say but he’ll stick to facts. And the facts are: McIntyre has beaten Sheamus, and he KNOWS he can beat Gunther. And history has shown that Sheamus can’t. Fans fire up as the two stare down.
Pearce has both men stand down because in order to get to WrestleMania, he needs three signatures on the contract. So how about we get the first two taken care of now? McIntyre takes the pen, signs his part, and then hands things over to Sheamus. Sheamus takes another pen, he signs his part, and then McIntyre throws his pen to the crowd as a free souvenir. And here comes GUNTHER! Gunther storms right into the ring, he gets right in Pearce’s face, and he tells Pearce to justify this decision. Justify why Gunther is in a match where the other two can pin or submit the other and Gunther still loses his title. Justify it! JUSTIFY IT!!
Pearce has Gunther calm down now, and Gunther signs his part. Is Pearce happy now? Whatever he has to do to defend HIS title at WrestleMania will be justified. Gunther will beat McIntyre. He will beat Sheamus. And if he has to, he’ll beat up Ridge and- What is Dunne looking at him like that for? DUNNE JUMPS THE TABLE TO GET AT GUNTHER!! Fans go wild as Butch goes wild! Ridge drags Dunne away, Gunther TOSSES the table! Gunther gets in Pearce’s face and Gunther wants a match! Pearce says okay, just calm down! Is Der Ring General about to break the Bruiserweight?
“Butch” Pete Dunne w/ The Brawling Brutes VS GUNTER!
SmackDown returns, and Gunther has Dunne on the ropes. Dunne pulls on Gunther’s ears! Then CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Dunne runs, but into a BOOT! Gunther drags Dunne up, scoops and SLAMS him, then sits him up to PENALTY KICK! Dunne kicks back from below! Dunne forearms, CHOPS, SLAPS and then jumps on for a a DOUBLE WRISTLOCK! Gunther throws body shots and then shifts Dunne around into a BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! Fans fire up while Gunther paces around Dunne. Gunther kicks Dunne in the side, he taunts Sheamus, then he stomps Dunne down.
Gunther brings Dunne up but Dunne throws body shots! Dunne forearms, but Gunther CHOPS Dunne off his feet! Even McIntyre is feeling that one. Gunther drags Dunne up, and CHOPS him right back down! But Gunther holds onto the wrist and he brings Dunne up again. Gunther CHOPS Dunne inside-out! Gunther still holds the wrist and he gives toying kicks to Dunne while taunting Sheamus. Gunther ripcords, but Dunne uses that for a TRIANGLE HOLD! Gunther CHOPS Dunne down, into a BOSTON CRAB! Dunne endures, Sheamus and Ridge coach Dunne, and Dunne fights, only for Gunther to shift to an STF!
Dunne still endures, even as Gunther bends him back. Dunne pries free, wrenches the arm and bends the fingers! Gunther pulls hair, then CHOPS Dunne down! Gunther drags Dunne back up but Dunne ENZIGURIS! And ENZIGURIS again! Gunther wobbles, blocks the third enziguri and deadlift GERMAN SUPLEXES! Dunne goes to a corner, Gunther hauls him up onto the top rope to CHOP! Gunther climbs up and he STANDS on Dunne! Dunne endures and the ref counts, Gunther lets off and Dunne tumbles to the floor! Sheamus checks on Dunne, Gunther stands tall, and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns again and Gunther has Dunne on the ropes. Gunther taunts Sheamus, but Dunne catches his Beats of the Bodhrain! Fans fire up as Dunne bends the fingers, and SNAPS them!! Gunther staggers away, Dunne runs in to fire forearms! GAMANGIRI! Gunther staggers, Dunne goes up and fans chant for the “BRUISERWEIGHT! BRUISERWEIGHT!” as Dunne DOUBLE STOMPS the arm! Dunne waistlocks, but Gunther switches and puts on a SLEEPER! Dunne drops down, but powers up and he pries at the hold! Gunther holds on tight, Dunne reaches for ropes, and fans rally up, ROPEBREAK!
Gunther SLAPS the arms down, GERMAN SUPLEXEs, but Dunne lands on his feet! BUZZSAW! Gunther bails out and McIntyre smirks. Dunne goes to the apron but Gunther avoids the moonsault! Gunther CHOPS Dunne, and Dunne tumbles onto the desk! Gunther turns around to see Sheamus and McIntyre, but Dunne runs in! Gunther sends him into McIntyre! Gunther BOOTS Dunne into the ring! But Dunne STOMPS the hands and BUZZSAWS Gunther! Fans fire up, but McIntyre is on the apron! Sheamus drags McIntyre down! GLASGOW KISS from McIntyre! Ridge goes after McIntyre but McIntyre POSTS him!
Sheamus KNEES McIntyre down! Dunne runs in at Gunther, into a LARIAT!! Gunther drags Dunne up, scoops for the LAST SYMPHONY!! Cover, Gunther wins!!
Winner: Gunther, by pinfall
Der Ring General used his enemies against each other, but The Fella stands back up. They both look at the WrestleMania sign, but Sheamus gets out of the way! CLAYMORE hits Gunther!! Fans fire up as Sheamus and McIntyre stare down now, will either of these men come away the NEW Intercontinental Champion in Hollywood? Or will Gunther use them against each other then like he did tonight?
The Street Profits are fired up backstage.
Montez Ford says that Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat is bound to be a banger. But he says there’s one thing bigger than that. Angelo Dawkins asks what, and Ford says THEIR tag team showcase. Alpha Academy, Viking Raiders, Braun Strowman & Ricochet, but wait. What do they have in common? Ford motions to the top of the head. Oh, right. They’re “smooth operators~.” But then Braun & Ricochet walk in. Real funny, guys. Y’all got jokes, huh? They got a problem with bald men? They don’t have a lot of room to talk, Dawkins is thinning up top. Whoa, fam, c’mon. Just jokes! Just playing. Well no one’s laughing.
Dawkins is just saying, Braun & Ricochet aren’t much of a tag team. Oh, well, we’ll see who’s playing when Ricochet & Braun show up and the other three teams fool around and find out. They want ALL that smoke. Well, okay, okay. Everyone is fired up for WrestleMania, but who wins the tag team showcase at the Showcase of the Immortals?
It’s the SmackDown return of the Kevin Owens Show!
And as such, Kevin Owens himself is headed to the ring. His guest will be Sami Zayn, but what will the Prizefighter and Great Liberator have to say about their coming Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship match? We’ll see, after the break.
SmackDown returns one more time and Kevin has his set and his mic. He thanks the ring announcer for the introduction, and then welcomes us back to the KO Show. Now please welcome his guest, tag team partner, friend and brother, the one and only Sami Zayn! Sami makes his entrance and the fans fire up again. Sami gets a mic and Kevin says, “Yeah, so I did it right? The way you wanted. It worked out?” Sami asks what Kevin means. Well, he brought Sami out with the big introduction like he wanted. It was good, right? Sami says he didn’t want a big introduction, this is Kevin’s show, and Sami’s the guest.
Yeah, but earlier, Kevin suggested they come out as co-hosts but Sami said they should make separate entrances so the fans can hear both of their songs and cheer for both of them. Which really means Sami wanted his own pop. Sami says he did not, but Kevin says it’s fine, the fans love him! Kevin gets it. Fans do cheer for “SAMI! SAMI!” Kevin sits, Sami asks if they need to spill more backstage secrets, or can they just get to business? Yeah, of course. Sami says more than anyone, he’s been going non-stop about taking down Roman, the Usos, the Bloodline. And even Sami has lost sight of the fact that, does Kevin realize what they’re on the verge of doing?
“After all these years, from where we started, from nothing, staring together in Montreal all those years ago, we are on the verge of winning the WWE Undisputed Tag Team Championships! We are on the verge of doing that together, at WrestleMania! And not just any WrestleMania. This year, I don’t know what it is, but WrestleMania feels different this year.” Kevin says that’s right. And it isn’t lost on him. He knows what they can accomplish. But Sami is right, WrestleMania does feel different this year. Which is why Kevin brought Sami out here. Kevin has something for Sami.
Now, remember a few months ago, after Roman gave Sami that Honorary Uce shirt, that Kevin said Sami needed a new one. Kevin has one, it’s a KO-Mania Goes Hollywood shirt. That’s great! Well yes, but this is the back of it. Kevin does KO-Mania every year. But this year is different. This year isn’t about KO-Mania. “This year, there is only one person who took WWE by storm, who caught fire like no one else. There’s only one person that people can look at and say, ‘That guy has been the MVP of the WWE for the last 12 months,’ and that person is you,” Sami. Fans chant “MVP! MVP!” and Sami is rather touched.
Kevin says this year, it isn’t KO-Mania. It’s about the other side of the shirt. Kevin hands it over, Sami turns it around, and he sees… WrestleZAYNIA!! Sami’s all fired up now! Kevin shows that he’s been wearing one the whole time! Sami loves it! He throws off his shirt to put on the new shirt! Sami wants a hug but Kevin says no, one hug a year. Aw what the heck? THEY HUG! But then THE USOS attack!! They blindside KO & Sami from the crowd side, and then Jimmy rains down fists on Kevin while Jey rains down fists on Sami! Fans boo while the Usos clear the ring of the chairs. DOUBLE SUPERKICKS for Kevin!
Jey drags Sami up, whips him to ropes, and the Usos hit ONE AND DONE!! The fans boo more but Kevin gets up with a steel chair! The Usos run for it, telling KO & Sami that they’re going down! Kevin beats an armchair with the steel chair, but Sami tells the Usos that they’re not getting away with this one. Will Jimmy & Jey ruin the first ever WrestleZaynia? Or will KO & Sami be the ones to finally stop the ones?
A great episode for SmackDown here, especially with the story developments. For one, great closing moment we just saw with a great KO Show. I love that we got a positive swerve where Kevin gave Sami a shirt that had a WrestleZaynia logo on it. But I should’ve figured the Bloodline would do something, and the Usos technically stand tall here. That math would suggest the Usos are losing at WrestleMania, and we finally get so much in that moment, from vindication for Sami to the WWE Grand Slam for Kevin. We also got a really good match out of Cody VS Ludwig that Cody of course wins, and a really good promo segment right after for Cody and Heyman. The Bloodline is definitely desperate to hold onto everything, but that could be what brings them down.
Fairly big news with Theory VS Cena opening WrestleMania Night One. I’ve said before that it just feels like Theory is gonna win, since Cena doesn’t need the US title, and isn’t gonna be sticking around long enough to do anything with the US title. So if Theory wins the first match of the weekend, I could see him boasting, bragging and partying the entire weekend until he is just insufferable and annoys someone into challenging him for that title on the Raw After Mania. And then a pretty good promo from Charlotte, and I did like her calling out the “WHAT” chants here. Stone Cold Steve Austin is timeless, but lemming fans throwing out “WHAT” just to throw out ‘WHAT” are what? Stupid, that’s what. A) Show respect and pay attention. B) Come up with something of your own.
Really good match from Rey VS Knight, but of course Dom distracts to cost Rey. But biggest of all from that segment, the moment fans have wanted for the last few weeks now: REY DECKS DOM! And now we’ll get Rey VS Dom, and Dom sold all the emotion after that perfectly. He was upset, but there was also the fear and realization that comes with seeing something he thought would never happen actually happening. His dad is gonna whoop him, because Dom will only have Priest by his side while Finn prepares for Edge and Rhea prepares for Charlotte. And Legado can make a heroic move by countering Priest so that Rey VS Dom has a fair finish.
Good promo from Profits, Braun & Ricochet to put some tension between those teams going into the men’s Fatal 4. Good tag match qualifier for the women’s Fatal 4, and it was good weaving of stories that Shotzi & Natty win. Shayna & Ronda get that “first round bye” right into the match, but it does work because all four Faces want payback on them. It might not even matter who the fourth team is (though I’m sure it’ll be a team from Raw), Ronda & Shayna are probably gonna tear into them all to win and essentially be #1 contenders to the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships.
And there was just so much great stuff in the Intercontinental Championship contract signing. Sheamus brought back the same stuff he said when he and McIntyre had their 1v1 feud last year but that makes sense, it is how people can be when they argue with friends and family. I feel like McIntyre was tempted to Steiner Math because this is a Triple Threat, and he knows he can beat Sheamus. Gunther was also great, and I love that “Butch” Dunne went right after Gunther over their NXT UK past. Gunther VS Dunne was great stuff to have just for the hell of it, but of course there was the usual misunderstanding shenanigans that helped Gunther win.
If Gunther somehow retains at Mania, can we have HHH get Trent Seven back in WWE so we can have British Strong Style VS Imperium for the Summer? There were fans in Vegas who remembered Dunne for being Dunne and not for being a sidekick, and all fans deserve to see that Dunne alongside Tyler Bate and Trent Seven.
My Score: 8.8/10
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March Madness Bracket Mania and NFL free agency highlight the conversation between the Brothers Wortz, this week on DTW.
Triple Grit Trivia: The Wortz Bros (Hosts ReyCash & PC Tunney)
Rey Cash & PC Tunney host as the Brothers Wortz battle it out in the game of sporting wits, TRIPLE...
Hockey Talk- Triple Play 
What happens when talking about hockey just isn’t enough? You get this week’s Episode of Hockey (Sports) Talk where the...
Bandwagon Nerds #175: Affleck is DC Done
On this week’s Bandwagon, Patrick, Tunney and Dave continue their coverage of The Mandalorian. Why do the nerds think this episode...
Talk the Kēki: Tokyo Revengers, Kubo Won’t Let Me Be Invisible, More!
No breaks for Ethan and Mat this time, as we have another episode of Talk the Kēki!
Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Kamelot – The Awakening (2023)
Will this be The Awakening of my enjoyment of post-Roy Khan Kamelot...or does the JAR continue to cherry pick?
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (3/17/23)
One round left before the finish!
Bandwagon Nerds #174: Bob Iger’s Plan
Bob Iger announces his vision for Disney films and specifically talked about the MCU and Star Wars. What could it...
Andrew’s IMPACT Sacrifice Results & Match Ratings: 3.24.2023
Well damn, 24 hours changes everything! Josh is injured and has to vacate the World title! Mickie is also injured...
Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/24/23)
It's a family feud!
Mindless Wrestling Podcast: Don’t Be A Creepy Fan!
This week on The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, we talk about obsessive, creepy fans who pick the worst times to ask...
Andrew’s IMPACT Match Ratings & Results: 3.23.2023
The Go Home to Sacrifice! PPV this week, Mania weekend special next week! Fun times for Impact!
Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (3/23/23)
(NOAH) NOAH NEWSLETTER VOL.195 ~ 22ND MARCH 2023
New champions, All Japan interactions, new debuts and Joshi in NOAH! NOAH is heating up in 2023!
Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (3/22/23)
Independence is Dynamite!
Mitchell’s WWE NXT Results & Report! (3/21/23)
Time for a grudge match!
Mitchell’s NJPW New Japan Cup Results & Report! (3/21/23)
It all comes down to this!
Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (3/21/23)
Toni Storm gets Dark!