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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (8/7/20)

YOWIE WOWIE!

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WWE SmackDown Coverage 3.0

SmackDown is reeling from The Fiend’s return!

Alexa Bliss is somehow entangled in the wicked web connecting Bray Wyatt and Braun Strowman! What is the fate of the Five Feet of Fury?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Matt Riddle VS Sheamus; Riddle wins, by disqualification.
  • Cesaro w/ Shinsuke Nakamura VS Lince Dorado w/ Gran Metalik; Cesaro wins.
  • Baron Corbin VS Jeff Hardy; Hardy wins, by disqualification.
  • Sheamus VS Baron Corbin; Sheamus wins.
  • Heavy Machinery VS The Miz & John Morrison w/ Sonya Deville; No Contest.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Swamp Fight had deeper repercussions than we could’ve imagined.

The Monster Among Men battled himself, Bray Wyatt, and temptation. Sister Abigail took the form of Alexa Bliss to trick Braun Strowman, and in the end that would allow the Eater of Worlds to drag him down into the depths. Firefly Bray claims he was just trying to help, “but now he is awake.” The Fiend wants the Universal Championship and will do whatever he must to get it! And so, when she was at her most vulnerable, Alexa Bliss became The Fiend’s newest victim!! “None of you are safe.” But then, why Alexa first? Is there a deeper meaning to what happened in that swamp?

 

SmackDown opens with the Firefly Fun House!

Bray has turned the Wall of Friends into the Wall of Braun! Before the fun starts, Bray wants to address something. “A bunch of haters have been sliding into my DM’s, blaming little ol’ me for what happened to Alexa Bliss last week.” Yowie wowie, if you want to blame anyone, blame Braun! How could he let something so horrific happen to someone he claims to care so much about? All Braun had to do was to give him what he wants. Now, Bray happens to know that he will be here later, “with someone very special.” He is waiting, Braun. And Bray advises Braun to just give him what he wants, or she will find out what he is truly capable of. Woo, Bray has the heeby jeebies just thinking about it! BYE~! See you later~! Will Braun save Alexa from The Fiend? Even if it costs him something he worked so hard to get?

 

Matt Riddle VS Sheamus!

Bro…! While the Wolf King wants to send Riddle back to NXT, that’s not something that can just happen. As for the Celtic Warrior, he wants to shake off his Bar Fight with Jeff Hardy to get back on track. Will Sheamus solve the Riddle problem before Chad Gable can cash in on the King’s Ransom? Or will the Fella lose big to the Bro?

The bell rings and Sheamus circles with Riddle. The crowd rallies for Riddle as he and Sheamus tie up. Sheamus powers Riddle to a corner, the two keep pushing but they break at the ref’s reprimand. Riddle and Sheamus circle, Riddle waistlocks, becomes a backpack but Sheamus gets the ropebreak. Riddle lets off and the two go again. Sheamus gets a headlock and takedown, but Riddle gets his shoulders up. Sheamus traps an arm, Riddle works on his escape, but Sheamus shifts to a keylock. Riddle gets around to waistlock, Sheamus wrenches back but Riddle rolls and gets a leg. Riddle trips Sheamus up but Sheamus gets away to stand off.

The two circle again, Riddle tests with a kick, then another. Sheamus headlocks again, Riddle powers him to ropes and throws some quick body shots. Sheamus lets go and the two stand off again. Sheamus grabs an arm, wrenches and knees low and hard! Sheamus stomps Riddle to the ropes but lets up at the ref’s count. Sheamus drags Riddle up, cranks on the arm and uses a chinbar to wrangle him down. Riddle endures as Sheamus leans on the hold. The crowd rallies up, Riddle fights up and throws body shots. Riddle gets the arm, drags Sheamus down in a partial Fujiwara! Sheamus endures, but Riddle pulls the fingers!

Sheamus crawls around, Riddle shifts to a keylock, then a mount. Sheamus moves around, Riddle makes it a cover, TWO! They separate, Riddle comes back, Sheamus gut wrenches to a POWERBOMB! The crowd boos but Sheamus throws haymakers on Riddle at the ropes. Sheamus whips but Riddle holds the ropes to deny it. The ref counts, Sheamus throws hands but Riddle still holds ropes. Riddle then hits back, dumps Sheamus to the apron but Sheamus hotshots Riddle down! Sheamus drags Riddle up to club away for the Bodhrain! Sheamus gets all 10 beats before the ref counts 4 and he lets Riddle fall. Sheamus climbs, but Riddle intercepts with a forearm, and down goes Sheamus! Riddle catches his breath while SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns and Sheamus thrashes Riddle around in a sleeper hold! Riddle endures, fights back, then runs, into the IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Sheamus gives him a second! And a third! Cover, TWO! Sheamus keeps Riddle down with a chinlock but the crowd rallies up. Riddle fights up, fights back with body shots, but Sheamus knees low. Sheamus back suplexes, Riddle lands on his feet and ROUNDHOUSES Sheamus down! The crowd is thunderous as both men slowly sit up. Sheamus stands first and brings Riddle up, but Riddle throws body shots! Riddle fires off fists and a boot, spins Sheamus around for the PELE!

Riddle kips up, forearms Sheamus in the corner, goes side to side and hits another! Then the BROSPLODER! PENALTY KICK! BROTON! Cover, TWO! Sheamus survives but Riddle keeps his focus. Riddle drops another Broton! Then he goes up top, FLOATING BRO but he lands on his feet as Sheamus dodges! Sheamus scoops Riddle and hits WHITE NOISE! Cover, TWO!! Sheamus seethes as Riddle still lives! Sheamus goes to a corner while Riddle stirs. The crowd is fired up again, even as Sheamus runs out. Riddle dodge the Brogue to GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Riddle is red in the face as he runs at Sheamus. Sheamus rolls Riddle, TWO! Tilt-o-whirl backbreaker! Sheamus runs but POSTS himself!

Sheamus tumbles out of the ring but Riddle pursues. Riddle comes around the way as the crowd fires up, and starts firing off Bro Kicks! Riddle throws forearms, Sheamus forearms and KNEES Riddle down! Riddle crawls and stumbles, and Chad Gable attacks!!

Winner: Matt Riddle, by disqualification

Gable just ruined the match but Riddle kicks him in return! Riddle throws Gable into the boards! And then LEAPS off the steps for a SUPER BRO PUNCH! Riddle bounces Gable off the desk over and over and over! Sheamus watches as Riddle throws Gable into the steps! Riddle takes aim, and Penalty Kicks Gable even deeper into the steps! Sheamus is more upset that Gable took away his win, but the Bro moves on. Sheamus drags Gable up into the ring, glares at Shorty G as he gets up, and Sheamus BROGUES Gable down!!

Sheamus demands to get a mic, and is given one. “What you think you’re doing?! Coming out and messing up my match, for what?! For Corbin’s bounty?!” Gable took what was Sheamus’, so he’s gonna get even more pain! ANOTHER BROGUE!! Will both Gable and Corbin stay out of Sheamus’ way from now on?

 

Baron Corbin talks with someone backstage.

The King happily offers Sarah a tour of SmackDown, but Sheamus barges in. Corbin is upset, but Sheamus says he’s lucky Sarah is here. Corbin’s minion cost Sheamus over this King’s Ransom rubbish. Corbin chuckles but Sheamus says if it happens again, Sheamus will kick Corbin’s head right off his shoulders, and shove that crown right up Corbin”s royal arse. Sheamus thinks he can? Sheamus dares Corbin to try him. Corbin says Sheamus is lucky he has Jeff Hardy to worry about, or he’d put a dent in Sheamus’ skull right now. Corbin leaves and Sarah shyly follows. Is this just the beginning of the war between Wolf King and Celtic Warrior?

 

SmackDown presents The Dirt Sheet!

It’s back! John Morrison introduces himself, and says no one is as underground as him. And The Miz is the Most Must-See WWE Superstar of all time, but we all saw the most tragic thing in the WWE ever. That is to say, Sonya Deville brutally attacking Mandy Rose backstage! Smearing the make-up was only part of it, as Sonya cut pieces of Mandy’s hair away! And smiled and laughed as she did! But before things could get uglier, pardon the pun, referees and security stopped Sonya.

Morrison says that often, they focus on gossip and pop culture, but sometimes something happens and it puts you back in touch with the real priorities. The Dirt Sheet’s considerable influence to- Wait, more technical difficulties? Wasn’t this solved after Raw? Well “Retribution” or whatever you guys call yourselves, you’re not scheduled for SmackDown! You’re a Raw thing! Anyhow, Miz says they are going to use their influence and power to the victim. It is brave of her to even be here, even if it is via satellite. Please welcome… Mandy’s Hair. On the titantron is basically a wig with googly eyes. “Hi~ guys~!” Morrison’s jacket looks great, even in this heat. Thanks, but tonight is about you, Mandy’s Hair.

Miz and Morrison can’t imagine what Mandy’s Hair went through! The savagery! The humiliation! And the lack of a proper blade. Is she okay? Well she’ll be the first to admit that the attack left her “shook” but what hurt the most was that Mandy hasn’t reached out to her once after the incident! The nerve! And for years, she never let Mandy down! Yeah, Mandy’s Hair has been held back, sometimes literally! Mandy just loves topknots! And Otis is always running his grubby fingers through her while he and that idiot Tucker babble on about meats and cheeses! EW~! EWWW~! Oh my goodness, and then she gets Photoshop’d her! She has beautiful roots but does anyone know that?! It’s okay, Mandy’s Hair. If you guys want Mandy’s Hair to cheer up, give us a Hair Yeah! “HAIR~ YEAH~!”

But what’s next? Mandy’s Hair will just take some “me time” to fix her split ends. The world has a lot to offer, such as moisturizer. It may be summer but it is snowy up in here~! Mandy’s scalp has more flakes than Kellogg’s! Can we get a hair yea? HAIR~ YEAH~! The crowd boos while Miz says the future is bright. Does she want Miz’s agent’s number? No need! After the buzz she got last week, she got a call from the people at Netflix~! Whoa! That’s incredible! Best of luck, Mandy’s Hair! It is not every day that Miz and Morrison have something special like this feel good moment right here. But to be honest, the real victim hasn’t been heard from. Everyone needs to give her the attention she deserves to tell her story. Give a Dirt Sheet welcome to… SONYA DEVILLE!

Sonya?! The victim!? The crowd boos even harder as Sonya walks to the ring and joins the hosts. Sonya says Mandy’s Hair is someone she can get behind: hardworking, self-motivated, self-made! Everything Mandy isn’t! And she already has a catchphrase: HAIR YEAH! But what compelled Sonya to do that in the first place? Sonya isn’t sure why there’s confusion at all. Sonya said she’d ruin Mandy’s life, make her as ugly as she is on the inside, so what’s the issue? To make something clear, Sonya is a woman of her word. She does what she says. Did she enjoy smashing Mandy’s face off that table? Absolutely. Did she enjoy smearing that perfect make-up and cutting her hair off? Absolutely!

The best part was that Mandy was so scared! And not because of the scissors or getting beat up, but because she is so concerned about her looks! It’s all she’s ever had! The Golden Goddess, God’s Greatest Creation! It’s kinda sad, really. Sonya would feel bad, but she doesn’t. Sonya has no respect for Mandy. Mandy is so weak! She was broken physically for being beaten twice, then emotionally for getting a haircut! And now, this terrible crowd expects Mandy to show up and get her revenge, but it won’t happen! Sonya’s already destroyed Mandy, but Mandy can come out and correct her if she’s wrong! But no Mandy, as Sonya thought. We have not heard from Mandy since last week. Not one social media selfie.

That’s Sonya’s point! Mandy got in by winning bikini contests. Oh, and she does have one other talent. Mandy won a Bumpy. But for what? For making out with Otis. Can’t make that up. She has a trophy for making out with someone. Just putting that out there. The only bright side, other than ruining Mandy’s career, is that she and Otis look like a couple now. Yeah, a couple of ogres! Morrison commends Miz on that joke. But here comes Heavy Machinery! They attack Miz and Morrison while Sonya bails out! Miz gets tossed, then Morrison gets thrown into a corner! Corner splash! Morrison goes down, Otis pumps up! But Miz saves Morrison before the Caterpillar can start up! Heavy Machinery wants after Miz and Morrison some more, but SmackDown first goes to break!

 

Cesaro w/ Shinsuke Nakamura VS Lince Dorado w/ Gran Metalik!

The Swiss Cyborg and King of Strong Style were celebrating in the “champion’s lounge” but told Lucha House Party to get out since the King of the Ropes “blew it” and lost his match for the Intercontinental Championship. Now the Golden Lynx will go after Cesaro for those comments! Will LHP shift back to the SmackDown Tag Team Championship hunt with a victory tonight?

The bell rings and Lince tests the waters with a kick. Cesaro powers Lince to a corner and throws body shots and knees! Cesaro whips corner to corner, Lince goes up and over then handsprings away. Lince baits Cesaro in, dodges and tilt-o-whirls, but Cesaro powers through to make it a backbreaker! Cesaro drags Lince up to EuroUpper him down! Cesaro drags Lince around but Lince kicks him back! Cesaro yanks Lince up, Lince lands on his feet, but Cesaro STO’s him back down! Cesaro knuckle locks, but Lince blocks the press to pop up and tilt-o-whirl headscissor Cesaro out! The lights flicker but Lince builds speed to FLY! Cesaro catches the senton to bring Lince up! Lince climbs the Plexiglas to come back and huricanrana Cesaro into the apron!

Lince clubs away and puts Cesaro back in the ring. Lince throws shoulders into Cesaro, slingshots up and over, cover, TWO! Lince goes back to the apron, enziguris Cesaro back, then springboards, into Cesaro’s arms! ANOTHER BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Cesaro is frustrated but he drags Lince back up to CLUB in the back! Cesaro traps an arm, then the other, and clubs away on Lince’s chest! He then puts Lince down to drop an elbow! Cover, TWO! Cesaro drags Lince into an armlock but the crowd and Metalik rally up. Lince fights, Cesaro has both arms, but Lince dropkicks free! Ceasro comes back but gets a jawbreaker!

Lince fires off body shots, CHOPS, then whips. Cesaro reverses, Lince boots him back, then Lince runs at Cesaro. Cesaro pops him up but Lince balances on Cesaro’s shoulders and flips back! Lince dodges Cesoar, handsprings, GOLDEN REWIND! Lince hurries to a corner and bottom rope moonsaults! Then the second rope moonsault! Lince wants the hat trick but Nakamura distracts! Lince swipes at him but Cesaro clubs Lince back. Cesaro has the crucifix lift for a Razor’s Edge, countered by a Rana! Cover, TWO! Cesaro EuroUppers Lince, Gotch NEUTRALIZER! Cover, Cesaro wins!

Winner: Cesaro, by pinfall

Though a tag team champion, Cesaro is still a superb singles wrestler! Will Cesaro and Nakamura continue to conquer the tag division one team at a time?

 

Otis’ rage is building backstage!

He shakes a frame but Tucker calms him down. They get their match with Morrison and Miz later tonight. Kayla Braxton comes by to speak to how Heavy Machinery put an end to a very disrespectful Dirt Sheet. They have a match, Otis is clearly upset, but can he channel it into the win? Miz and Morrison joke around, and Otis likes jokes, but this is crossing the line! Tucker says what Sonya did was despicable, and then Miz and Morrison pile on! Otis can handle a joke about himself, cuz he’s gotten it all since he was a kid. But when it comes to his sweet peach, he won’t stand for it! Miz and Morrison are going to find when they anger Otis, “no one is going to be laughing then!” And then Otis knocks the crate over with one hand! That rage is coming for the Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century, will Miz and Morrison survive?

 

The lights start going down in the ring!

That’s because HE is here!! The Fiend is live on SmackDown!! It’s time for Braun Strowman to make his decision, after the break.

SmackDown returns to The Fiend waiting under his red lights, with the siren sound screeching, and Alexa Bliss in the ring! It’s almost as if she was trapped in time until this moment. The Fiend slithers around, but she stops him from using the Mandible Claw. Alexa touches his face as if everything’s alright, but he pushes her away. Braun speaks to the “sadistic bastard.” Braun is on screen and says if he thought The Fiend could play with his emotions, he was wrong. Braun doesn’t care about Alexa anymore. All Braun cares about is destroying Bray. Braun knew there were only two ways he was getting out: one, by becoming the most evil SOB on earth; two, as man with the satisfaction that he spat in the devil’s face and tore him limb from limb. But since Bray is still standing, clearly Bruan has become the evil SOB.

Braun resisted but was pushed to his breaking point, and has let it out. The thing clawing and scratching inside him is out, and he is fulfilling his destiny! Braun is more than a man. He is a thing nightmares are made of! He is THE MONSTER! The Fiend can have whatever he wants, because at SummerSlam, The Fiend faces The Monster. Will Bray regret the moment Braun decided to let him in?

 

Baron Corbin VS Jeff Hardy!

The Wolf King isn’t just facing Jeff Hardy, he is facing a reinvigorated Charismatic Enigma! Will Hardy’s redemption story continue as he conquers the king? Or will Corbin do what Sheamus couldn’t and write the last chapter to it?

The bell rings and Corbin tells the crew to take good care of his robe and crown. Hardy rallies the fans as he circles with Corbin. They tie up, Hardy dodges the punch to atomic drop! Hardy throws hands, Corbin rebounds and Hardy wrenches to go after the arm! Hardy rams shoulders then clubs away more. Corbin breaks free but Hardy dodges and clobbers Corbin! Another atomic drop, take down and leg splitting leg drop! Basement dropkick added, and then a splash! Cover, TWO! Hardy is right on Corbin but Corbin uppercuts! Hardy staggers back but dodges, Corbin slides out then in but into a kick! No Twist just yet though as Corbin spins out and LARIATS! Cover, TWO!

Corbin is annoyed but he keeps on Hardy with a right hand! Corbin sits Hardy back up to hit him down again. Hardy sits up but Corbin brings him up by his hair. Corbin throws Hardy out of the ring and then goes out to pursue. The crowd boos at Corbin as he brings Hardy up and sets him on the announce desk. Corbin rains down right hands until Hardy flops over. The ref counts and is past 5 but Corbin puts Hardy in. Cover, TWO! Corbin grows even more annoyed but he looms over Hardy. Corbin sits Hardy up to drive elbows in over and over to both sides! Then he wraps Hardy up in a chinbar half nelson to grind Hardy down. Hardy endures and the crowd rallies up. Hardy fights up, fights back, but Corbin throws him back down!

Corbin cranks harder on the hold, but Hardy still endures. Hardy fights up slowly but fights out with body shots. Corbin throws Hardy to a corner and runs in, but Hardy dodges. Corbin slides out but Hardy wrecks him with a dropkick! Hardy goes after Corbin over and over on the barriers then bounces him off the boards! Hardy puts Corbin back in, runs but into DEEP SIX! Cover, TWO! Hardy survives and Corbin seethes but Corbin looms over Hardy again. Corbin drags Hardy up by an arm, whips but Hardy comes back with haymakers! Hardy tries a jawbreaker but gets a KNEE! Hardy falls out of the ring but then Sheamus BROGUES Hardy!!

Winner: Jeff Hardy, by disqualification

Sheamus returns the favor and Corbin is furious! Are these two going to throw down now?! SmackDown goes to break as the ref tries to keep the peace!

 

Sheamus VS Baron Corbin!

SmackDown returns and Sheamus is already firing off on Corbin in a corner! Sheamus stomps away then throws more haymakers. Sheamus knees, bumps Corbin off buckles and then drags Corbin up to rake the face! Corbin flounders, Sheamus stomps and knees him down, then knees him at the ropes. Sheamus throws EuroUppers, drags Corbin back up and whips. Corbin kicks back, runs but into a kitchen sink knee! Sheamus stalks Corbin to the apron, drags him up, and goes to put him in the Bodhrain. Corbin keeps fighting it off, then drops down and the ref backs Sheamus off. Sheamus goes out the side instead, but Corbin runs him over!

The crowd rallies up while Corbin refreshes the ring count. Corbin throws Sheamus into the boards! Then throws body shots! Sheamus stays standing but Corbin refreshes the count. Corbin brings Sheamus to the desk to bounce him off it over and over! Corbin puts Sheamus in, but Sheamus KNEES Corbin at the ropes! Sheamus runs to clothesline Corbin back out! Sheamus goes out to throw Corbin into the barriers! And now Sheamus gets to dribble Corbin off the desk! Sheamus refreshes the count, dribbles Corbin more, then POSTS him! Corbin rolls and flops, and Sheamus talks trash. Sheamus stands on Corbin, then brings him up and into the ring. Sheamus climbs up top, takes aim, but Corbin dodges! SIDEWALK SLAM! Cover, TWO!

Corbin rains down rights on Sheamus then snarls as he drags Sheamus up. Corbin POSTS Sheamus in return! And bends him back against the buckles to rain down more rights! The ref reprimands, Corbin lets off and brings Sheamus up. Corbin DECKS Sheamus with that right, then puts the chinbar half nelson on like he had on Hardy. Sheamus fights up but Corbin wrangles him down. Corbin cranks, Sheamus endures and fights up. Sheamus is on his feet but Corbin wrangles him right back down! Corbin leans on Sheamus but Sheamus continues to fight. The crowd rallies up harder and Sheamus throws body shots. Sheamus is free, he fireman’s carries Corbin, but Corbin fights out with elbows! Corbin shoves and LARIATS Sheamus down!

Both men are on the mat but Corbin gets up. Riddle flies in! Corbin avoids the flying knee, but Sheamus hits a BROGUE!! Cover, Sheamus wins!

Winner: Sheamus, by pinfall

Riddle fist bumps commentary while Sheamus celebrates, because payback is sweet! Will Corbin continue to pay for putting a price on The Bro’s head?

 

The Golden Role Models meet up backstage.

Sasha Banks asks Bayley if she’s okay but Bayley says she’s fine. Is this because Sasha volunteered Bayley to face Asuka on Raw? No! Why even bring that up? Though, they could’ve talked it over. Sasha isn’t worried about it! Bayley’s got this! And Sasha needs Bayley to do this because Asuka wants a rematch for Sasha’s Raw Women’s Championship! Well, yeah, but she also wants revenge for what Bayley did to Kairi Sane so… That doesn’t matter! This is not about Asuka! This is about them! They have all the gold! They did this! Not only are their role models, but Bayley is Sasha’s role model.

But then member of the staff comes by and informs them that they need to go to the ring. They’re going to be part of a video conference… with Stephanie McMahon. What?! Things just got a lot more complicated for the #DoubleDoubleChampChamps.

 

Backstage interview with Big E!

The New Day brethren, Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston, are sidelined for the time being, meaning Big E gets to venture out on his own. What are his plans? For the past five years, Big E has been a man who log rolled to the ring, who poured boxes of cereal on the heads of eager adults, and a man whose popcorn eating gif is widely used around the world. A proud accomplishment, truly. Big E has been entertainer, tag partner, and friend. But now, Big E finally answers, “What could have been if they just passed him the ball?”

The support from the WWE Universe and the cosigns from Woods and Kofi could be seen as a weight, as pressure. They are not burdens, they are not anchors, they lift him up! Big E may not know where his run will take him, but he assures us that he will give nothing less than ALL of himself! Because~! Um… New! Day Rocks! What else? New Day Rocks! YEEEAH~! Will Big E rock just as hard alone as with ya bois?

 

The Golden Role Models are in the ring.

Sasha and Bayley are waiting, but then Stephanie is on the titantron. She thanks them for taking this time, and actually takes this time to congratulate them. The two of them have achieved “insurmountable goals.” They wanted to win all the championships in the WWE, and from NXT to Raw to SmackDown, they’ve done that. Sasha thanks Stephanie for that, it means so much. Bayley thanks Stephanie, they needed that because of all the jealousy in the locker room right now. Especially since all they’re trying to do is be role models for the girls around the world. Like Stephanie’s girls! They’re just finishing what Stephanie started with the Women’s Revolution.

And what a job they’ve done. Traveling to all three brands, doing whatever it takes to win. Like being a “guest referee” at Extreme Rules, or making a mockery of the stipulation Stephanie put in place when Bayley brutally attacked Kairi to make Asuka get counted out. Did Sasha not know that part? Stephanie isn’t sure about being role models, but they have everyone’s attentions. Including hers. Sasha defends that they’ve just been doing what’s “best for business,” like Stephanie! They’re following Stephanie’s example! They’re fans of Stephanie and Triple H! Everything they can on the WWE Network, available for just $9.99!

Stephanie wants them to relax. She isn’t one to hold a grudge. She is a McMahon! Umm… Well, Stephanie says she won’t lecture them, but she will challenge them. SummerSlam will see Sasha defending her Raw Women’s Championship, and it could very well be against Bayley’s opponent on Monday, “the talented, dynamic and vengeful” Asuka. As for Bayley, remember those enemies she’s made across all three brands? All of them will have a chance for retribution when they compete in a Triple Brand Battle Royal to name a #1 contender to the SmackDown Women’s Championship! “Now that’s what’s best for business.” Things are pretty bad as it is, are they only getting worse for the Golden Role Models?

 

Sonya talks with Miz and Morrison backstage.

How did she get in Mandy’s hair? Kayla comes by to interview Miz and Morrison. After tonight’s Dirt Sheet, do they regret taking things too far? Oh sorry they were too sophisticated out there. Miz and Morrison are professionals. Sometimes comedy offends. Morrison says those two ham ‘n’ eggers get confused, mad, and then make mistakes. It’s called gamesmanship. These two here are physical specimens. NO! Physical marvels! And mental giants! It won’t take much to outwit Otis. It’s like playing chess against a pig. If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Though Otis has never stayed out of any kitchen.

Kayla just wants to warn them that this is the angriest she’s ever seen Otis. Oh, what’s he gonna do? Eat them? Otis did promise that no one would be laughing. Miz and Morrison know Heavy Machinery is big, tough and ferocious in catering. So excuse them while they prepare for the match. That showdown is after the break!

 

Heavy Machinery VS The Miz & John Morrison w/ Sonya Deville!

We’ve heard enough talk, it’s time to fight! Will Otis and Tucker bulldoze the former SmackDown Tag Team Champions to finally shut the A-Lister and Guru of Greatness up?

The teams sort out, Tucker starts with Morrison and they circle. Morrison ROCKS Tucker with a right, kicks away, but Tucker gets to a corner. Tucker comes back, Morrison goes Eddy Gordo and kicks low. Tucker grabs a leg for a BIG takedown and cover, TWO! Tucker clamps on with a waistlock but Morrison gets up, only to get thrown! Tucker grinds Morrison down while Sonya tries to coach Morrison. Morrison fights up and fights free, but Tucker swats the roundhouse away. Morrison ducks a punch but not the LARIAT! The crowd is fired up while Sonya is annoyed. Tucker drags Morrison up, puts him in the corner and tags Otis.

Otis whips Tucker in for a corner splash! Morrison is fed to a BIG shoulder tackle that sends him flying! Otis drags Morrison up, whips but Morrison rolls off his back. Tag to Miz, Miz kicks the gut but that just powers Otis up. Miz kicks again but Otis only grows stronger! Miz CHOPS, but Otis just tears off the shirt! Otis headbutts, runs and belly bumps Miz down! Tag to Tucker, Heavy Machinery marches around to shout out the Bushwhackers, and then BELLY SANDWICH Miz! Miz bails out, Tucker aims from the apron, and CANNONBALLS! Tucker takes out Miz and Morrison, Heavy Machinery is all fired up as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns again and Tucker is in a facelock but powering his way to the corner. Miz pulls hair and knees low to then BOOT Tucker away. Tag to Morrison but Tucker ROCKS him! Tucker elbows Miz away then rocks Morrison again. Miz spins Tucker around, A-List Combination with a springboard stomp added on! Cover, TWO! Morrison grounds ‘n’ pounds with a rain of forearms. Morrison circles Tucker and kicks him low! Morrison runs but Tucker kicks from the mat! Tucker rises as Morrison clutches the knee, Tucker throws a haymaker! Morrison forearms back, then hits low! SHINING WIZARD!

Tag to Miz and they drag Tucker up. They double GUT BUSTER Tucker, but that only hurts Morrison’s knee. Miz adds the basement DDT and covers, TWO! Sonya creeps closer to Otis’ corner but Miz mocks the belly. Miz kicks Tucker down, chokes Tucker on the ropes, then lets up so Morrison can get a cheap shot! “Hey hey hey! HO HO~!” MC M I Z and Johnny Drip Drip try to get the crowd going on their side, but it doesn’t work. Miz drags Tucker around, tag to Morrison, the 21st Century Classic backfires as Tucker uses the catapult to DECK Morrison! Tucker sits down on Miz, then crawls for his corner! The crowd rallies up, hot tag to Otis!

The Dozer rallies on Miz and Morrison with big lariats and elbows! FLAPJACK for Morrison! Morrison is put in a corner, Otis scoops and slams Miz, then he catches Morrison for a HUGE EXPLODER! Sonya freaks out as Otis fires up. Otis goes corner to corner to splash Morrison in the corner, then has a target in the drop zone! Caterpillar and ELBOW! Cover, but Miz breaks it! Tucker drags Miz and Morrison out, runs but is send into Plexiglas! Otis chases Miz but is sent into steel steps! Everyone is down on the outside other than Sonya, and then a short-haired Mandy attacks!! Mandy chases Sonya and they brawl against the ring! Sonya tackles Mandy down but Mandy fights back! They end up in the ring, the ref has to throw this one out!

No Contest

Mandy fires off on Sonya, Sonya hits back, the ref tries to stop this but Sonya shoves him away! Mandy tackles Sonya now, fires off more hands, but Heavy Machinery come in. They get Mandy back while Miz and Morrison get Sonya, but Mandy breaks free to tackle Sonya again! The brawling continues, the two teams pull the scrap apart, but Sonya gets free to tackle Mandy! Heavy Machinery get Mandy out of the ring to fall back, but this is far from over as SmackDown goes to one more break!

 

SmackDown returns to more brawling backstage!

Mandy and Sonya are NOT letting it end! Adam Pearce jumps in and shouts that they need to stop! Mandy just shouts at Sonya that Sonya should get closer so Mandy can rip every hair out of Sonya’s head! But then the lights go completely out, come back up, and something is happening ringside!! That group of anarchist maniacs, “The Retribution,” are invading SmackDown!! They’ve got pipes, bats and whatever else blunt to smack the ring! Run, Corey!! Run, Michael!! The five trouble starters take the ring, but they tell the camera man, “This is OUR house now!” Maybe you should leave and go home! Now the camera men are targets!! They run, leaving the cameras behind!

Now Retribution dares the crowd of NXT prospects to do something. And then they just go after them anyway! They mug one guy in particular, then dare a female superstar to do something. She tries to run but gets caught! The Retribution toy with her, then BOOT her down! And DECK her into the Plexiglas! Hair starts spilling out of the hoods but who are these five? They go back to the ring and shout, “This is OURS now!” They fires themselves up to TIP THE DESK! There’s a bag, and from it, is spray paint cans! The Retribution shake them up and start spraying on the boards. They spray an X through the WWE logos! And a line through the SmackDown logo! “All of this is OURS!” And then they produce a chainsaw?! They cut the ring apart, starting with the ropes! But who even are these five? And who can stop them?


My Thoughts:

Well damn. I’m not sure what to make of this episode, other than it was really wild. Between the extended recap, the Firefly Fun House segment and then the response segment, this story of Braun and Bray is continuing to take great twists. I don’t think they played up Alexa’s calmer reaction to The Fiend this week as much as they should have. Is it a sign that Alexa is herself starting to understand her role in this? And Braun saying he’s become a true monster, ditching the “among men” part because he’s no longer human, that was some quality stuff. I wonder if Alexa is used to cost him after all, as she and Bray doubt he was telling the truth about not caring about her. At the same time, that would just be another odd finish, and I don’t think WWE should do those anymore. The only match that ended 100% clean as Cesaro VS Lince.

Cesaro VS Lince was a great match, and it makes a lot of sense for Cesaro to win. Yes, Lucha House Party needs to look good enough to challenge the tag champions, but Cesaro’s power level is just that high that Lince wasn’t going to win. The intertwining stories of Sheamus, Riddle, Corbin and Jeff Hardy was all great, but again they all had less than clean finishes. In a vacuum, it works out great because Sheamus is riding the Tweener line against Corbin, a brilliant move, and all four guys could easily be fighting in a match to name a contender to the Intercontinental or even Universal Championship. But when you look at everything that’s happening for both Raw and SmackDown, very disappointing because it means WWE isn’t willing to commit to something right now.

I do love the position Stephanie is putting Bayley and Sasha in. Bayley is upset with Sasha for putting her up against Asuka, and she might just let Asuka win to avoid getting hurt. And now, a TRIPLE BRAND Battle Royal will name a contender, which is the best move because it means NXT still counts as the third brand when they haven’t really joined in on much since the Royal Rumble. Depending on who is in it, there might be some obvious favorites, but I hope this is a way to help someone rise up in the ranks. It could even be a way of moving an NXT female superstar to SmackDown.

The Dirt Sheet was so dorky but moderately funny. The better part, of course, was with Sonya and then the brawls and the tag match and all that. But for all the fire Otis had backstage, where was it in the match? He was basically the same as before! It feels like they forgot what they had him and Kayla and everyone else say when writing the match. Mandy’s return was great, and her cleaning up her haircut to be a nice short cut looks nice. Maybe they should’ve had Sonya do more to her hair so that she’d have to go even shorter. I fully expect a Mixed Six Tag before respective blow-offs at SummerSlam. This could even be Heavy Machinery’s way of moving into tag title contention.

And of course, the insanity that ended the night is the biggest thing. Miz and Morrison namedropping “The Retribution” and mockingly saying how they were just a Raw thing was all actually foreshadowing. As for what they did, it was the usual “this is kayfabe so no one is actually going to get hurt” level of violence. Nexus, for those who remember that, did WAY more damage. But remembering how Daniel Bryan choked Justin Roberts and that’s why Bryan was fired for that time, no “chaotic group” in WWE can ever go that far again. Which kinda hurts them being able to do these angles at all. Also, a chainsaw? I was more worried about the five people than the ring. And there could’ve actually been more chaos if SmackDown stars tried to overwhelm them before the chainsaw came out!

Meanwhile, it isn’t 100% clear who is under the masks and the hoods, but there are some subtle hints. For one, we can assume these are all NXT superstars who haven’t been on NXT for some time, because despite being called “The Retribution,” it is unlikely that WWE rehired superstars they released months ago. The ring leader could very well be Lio Rush, but that’s just a guess based on how he sounded while yelling. The hair of the one female member, that has to be Vanessa Borne. The other female member could be Chelsea Green, she fired Robert Stone and then just disappeared. No clue on the two that tipped the desk, though. Was there anyone we didn’t see in the crowd this time?

My Score: 8.3/10


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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