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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (9/13/21)

A truly MIGHTY Monday night!

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Coverage Raw 2021

Awwww~ WWE Universe~! Don’t you DARE be sour!

Plans change, even for Monday Night Raw! But gold will be on the line as Bobby Lashley defends THE WWE World Championship against Randy Orton!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Charlotte Flair VS Shayna Baszler; Flair wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Drew McIntyre & The Viking Raiders VS Jinder Mahal, Veer & Shanky; McIntyre & the Viking Raiders win.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship, Operation: Get Reggie: Reggie retains the title.
  • WWE United States Championship Open Challenge: Damian Priest VS Jeff Hardy; Priest wins and retains the title.
  • Nikki A.S.H. w/ Rhea Ripley VS Tamina w/ Natalya; Nikki wins.
  • Rhea Ripley w/ Nikki A.S.H. VS Natalya w/ Tamina; Rhea wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: Mansoor, Mustafa Ali & The New Day VS AJ Styles, Omos, Mace & T-Bar; Styles, Omos, Mace & T-Bar win.
  • “Doudrop” Piper Niven VS Eva Marie; Piper wins.
  • WWE World Championship: Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Randy Orton w/ Matt Riddle; Lashley wins and retains the title.
  • WWE World Championship Money in the Bank Cash-In: Bobby Lashley VS Big E; Big E wins and becomes the new WWE World Champion.

PLAY BY PLAY

Big E is here!

Just as he promised on Friday Night SmackDown, Mr. Money in the Bank is here on Monday Night Raw! He wants after the WWE World Champion just as bad as he wants after the WWE Universal Champion, but he’ll go for whoever’s in front of him! But before Big E can speak, RKBRO makes their way to the ring! The Raw Tag Team Champions have to defend their belts against the Hurt Business, but wait! Here come the WWE World Champion and MVP! But Bobby Lashley is in a sharp suit, not his ring gear, so he’s willing to wait for later on. Lashley and MVP walk to the ring, staring down the Viper and Mr. MITB.

MVP and Lashley get mics and Big E simply watches as Lashley raises his belt in Orton’s face. Big E speaks up and says he fully intends on cashing in tonight. Riddle wants Big E to hold on. It’s great to see Big E on Raw, but Riddle wants Big E to do a bro a favor and not cash in on Randy. They’re best bros so- MVP tells Riddle to shut his dumbass up. Big E won’t be cashing in tonight on Randy~ because Randy~ won’t be winning tonight! And of all the nights Big E could show up here, he chooses the wrong night. Normally, when Big E shows up, MVP is happy to see him with the dancing and acting like an idiot, so everyone laughs. But the Hurt Business is in no laughing matter tonight!

See, this was supposed to be for the Raw Tag Team Championships because the Hurt Business won Tag Team Turmoil! But the Viper being the Viper, he politicked his way into changing things from the World Championship at Extreme Rules to tonight! Wanna explain that, Randy~?! Orton smirks and says “It has been 14 long, long years since Bobby Lashley and I fought inside this ring. And I thought, ‘Why wait two more weeks?’ Besides, look at you, Bob.” The specimen that Lashley is, there was no way Orton could throw him off his game, unless maybe by changing the date.

But there wasn’t politicking. Y’know what happened? It’s simple! Orton went to who he needed to go to, he told them what he wanted, and they obliged. Why? Because he IS Randy Freakin’ Orton! Lashley laughs at that and Big E loves the big meaty men bumping meat tonight! Uh… What? The fans are fired up for Randy, though, and MVP says the fans just forget about the clown prince and his MITB briefcase. MVP wants to tell Big E that of the clowns he hangs out with in the New Day, MVP always believed Big E would win the world title first because Big E has the most potential.

And when Big E got put on SmackDown alone, MVP thought that’d be the chance for Big E to establish himself. And then he did, by becoming Mr. MITB! Fans cheer that because it’s true. “But then you promptly ran from SmackDown to Raw because maybe you’re scared to cash that in on Roman Reigns. Or perhaps you’re scared of Brock Lesnar.” Lashley says he isn’t. MVP thinks Big E thinks Lashley is a pushover. But after we see what Lashley does to Orton tonight, Big E will fear him, too. Well, MVP, you’re just wasting your breath. The fight is here! Orton has proven over the last few weeks that all it takes is ONE RKO to bring down the All Mighty Lashley to his knees!

And that is what Orton promises will happen tonight to become the NEW WWE World Champion! Fans cheer that and Riddle adds, “BOOM!” And then Big E says he can cash in on Orton become the NEW WWE World Champion! Lashley says, “Enough of this!” Orton made the biggest mistake of his life by wanting the title tonight. Lashley will take pleasure beating Orton up and his weak body all over this ring. And if Big E even comes anywhere close to him with the contract, Lashley will shove it so far up Big E’s ass that he’ll be able to taste the fine print! Oh, really? This briefcase? Big E gets closer with it, and Lashley SLAPS it away! Big E and Lashley talk trash, but Orton hits an RKO!!

Orton says BOOM, that’s all he’ll need! Will the All Mighty fall to the Viper in tonight’s main event? Will Big E be there to swoop in on whoever has the gold when it’s over?

 

The WWE Draft is returning!

October 1st on Friday Night SmackDown and October 4th on Monday Night Raw, “It’s time to shake things up again!” Who goes where? And how does that shape the future of the WWE?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Shayna Baszler!

The Queen of Flair beat Nia Jax partially thanks to the Queen of Spades, but now we see which player ranks higher! Before her entrance, Charlotte is asked about Shayna’s confidence that she can win. “Shayna is like every superstar dreaming of the Raw Women’s Championship. And yes, Shayna and Nia are great competitors, but Shayna and Nia get in each other’s way.” Charlotte didn’t get to the top because she had friends or tag partners. Shayna will never get to this level if she lets herself be dragged down by dead weight. But Charlotte will teach Shayna humility like she did Nia, and let’s get this straight: Charlotte is THE BEST in every way humanly possible. And in the end, this title will be Charlotte’s! The ring is her throne and her reign shall last forever! #LongLiveTheQueen!

Charlotte makes her entrance and fans “WOO~” as she goes to the ring. Charlotte is the Queen but will she still be made to #TapNapOrSnap?

As Shayna makes her entrance, Raw shares footage of Nia confronting her earlier today. Nia is of course upset that Shayna cost her in the title match and she wants an explanation. Shayna’s explanation is that she did what Nia’s been doing to her, and what she would’ve done. Shayna believes what she said in that Nia can’t beat Charlotte but Shayna can. Nia wants to argue how she did beat Charlotte, but she calms down. They’ll be on the same page tonight. But Shayna leaves without saying yes or no.

The bell rings, Shayna and Charlotte circle and fans fire up with more chants of “WOO~!” Shayna tests the waters with a drop step but then they tie up. Charlotte knees hard and low, whips but Shayna reverses. Charlotte tumbles up and out but Shayna sees the shoulder coming. Shayna KNEES Charlotte down, builds speed but Charlotte avoids the baseball slide! Charlotte PLANCHAS and takes down Shayna! The champion is standing tall as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns as Charlotte hits an EXPLODER! Charlotte grits her teeth as she gets back to her feet, steps on Shayna and goes to the corner. Charlotte climbs, fans fire up but Shayna trips her up! Shayna KICKS Charlotte down, covers, TWO! Charlotte checks the side of her head but Shayna sees her go to a corner. Shayna runs corner to corner but Charlotte dodges! Knee goes into buckle, Charlotte rolls Shayna up, TWO! KIRAFUDA! Shayna can’t get Charlotte down before Charlotte throws elbows. Charlotte hits a BIG back suplex and is free! Shayna goes to ropes, Charlotte catches her breath and gets to her feet. Charlotte storms in but Shayna gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX!

Charlotte gets up, Shayna KNEES her back down! Cover, TWO! Shayna CLUBS Charlotte, KICKS her in the side, but Charlotte eggs her on! Shayna KICKS and KICKS and clinches, but Charlotte scraps with her. Shayna fires off fast hands, runs but Charlotte follows to LARIAT! Charlotte seethes as she CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Charlotte whips Shayna to ropes, Shayna reverses but Charlotte boot feints to ELBOW! Cover, TWO!! Shayna survives and Charlotte seethes again. Charlotte drags Shayna up, and reels her in for an EX- NO! Shayna lands on her feet and BOOTS back! Shayna puts Charlotte in the corner, runs in but into the backbreaker and BUCKLE SHOT!

Charlotte sees Shayna bail out, goes to the corner and climbs up top! Fans fire up as Charlotte ARIHARA MOONSAULTS! Direct hit and down goes Shayna! Charlotte is fired up and so is Boston’s TD Garden, but here comes Nia! Charlotte tells Nia to suck it, but Shayna RAMS Charlotte into the steps! Seems the Irresistible Force  is keeping her word and helping Shayna as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Nia watches Shayna gets an inside cradle! TWO, and Charlotte CLOBBERS Shayna! Charlotte seethes, drags Shayna up and throws forearms from all sides! Shayna stays standing as Charlotte keeps throwing forearms, then gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX again! Nia nods and fans fire up as Shayna storms over to Charlotte. Shayna gets Charlotte up in a scoop but Charlotte slips out to CHOP BLOCK! Shayna hobbles, Charlotte puts the leg through the ropes and stares Nia down as she has a HANGING KNEEBAR! The ref counts, Shayna hammers at Charlotte, but Charlotte lets go at 4 to taunt Nia.

Charlotte goes back in the ring, puts Shayna’s leg on ropes and springboards, but Shayna avoids the knee drop to fire fast hands! Charlotte shoves Shayna but Shayna hits a KNEE! Nia gets on the apron?! Charlotte BOOTS Shayna down! Cover, Charlotte wins!!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by pinfall

Nia said she and Shayna were on the same page, and that was the same page out of Shayna’s playbook! Is Charlotte only being proven right that the Queen of Spades and Irresistible Force are holding each other back? But here comes Alexa Bliss! And it seems she and Lily have a gift for Charlotte. Alexa says hi and she knows Charlotte is busy, but they wanted to give her something as thanks for accepting the title match at Extreme Rules. Aw, that’s cute, Lexi, but she clearly doesn’t know Charlotte’s taste. Charlotte doesn’t collect dolls, she collects championships! And there comes a time in every big girl’s life to leave the dolls at home.

Yes, yes, we get it. Charlotte’s the champion~! C’mon, have some fun and let your hair down. It is down… But this is a really good gift, so please, take it. Fans cheer for Charlotte to accept the gift, but Charlotte says no. Alexa says yes. Again, Charlotte says, “No.” Again, Alexa says, “Yes.” Charlotte knows she wants to~! Okay, fine! Charlotte does love gifts. She shakes the box. No ticking so we’re good there. Fans cheer for her to open it, so Charlotte opens the box. To find that inside… Is a Charlotte edition of Lily… TADA~! This is Charlie, and yes, it looks so much like Charlotte! Fans chant for Charlie, and Alexa says this is something to play with after Alexa takes the title.

But Alexa knows, Charlotte doesn’t need anyone because she’s the queen. But everyone needs a friend. “Even a narcissistic, self-absorbed bitch like you!” Yeah, Charlotte admits to that. And at least the doll has matching accessories, like the little toy belt. And everyone wants a doll that looks like Charlotte! But Alexa’s crazy if she thinks she’s taking the title, or that Charlotte wants “this stupid doll.” Wait, hold on. Maybe Charlotte can get Mattel to send Alexa a Charlotte action figure to that padded cell. But until then, Charlotte will “adult” you to Extreme Rules. #LongLiveTheQueen. And then Charlotte throws the doll at Alexa’s face!

Alexa LEAPS onto Charlotte and the scrap is on! Charlotte shoves Alexa, Alexa dodges the boot to then boot Charlotte out of the ring! Charlotte runs in, but into a CODE RED!! Alexa sits on the mat for a moment as Charlotte flops out of the ring. Alexa gets up to get Lily and pick up the Raw Women’s Championship! Will Alexa have it all once Extreme Rules is over?

 

Six Man Tag: Drew McIntyre & The Viking Raiders VS Jinder Mahal, Veer & Shanky!

The Scottish Warrior teams with Erik & Ivar to take on the Modern Day Maharaja and his henchmen! Will McIntyre lead the raid and help all there men climb back up towards titles? Or will it be a very aggressive Namaste today?

Raw returns as Team Mahal jumps McIntyre from behind! They’re not letting McIntyre have any back-up as they mug him! The Viking Raiders make their entrance and skip the pageantry to get right in! Mahal and his men hurry out, almost falling out of the ring to do it! McIntyre is enraged by the Vikings keep him calm. Veer gets in, starts with Erik, and we have our match. Erik fires off strikes, ROCKS Veer then whips him to ropes for another BIG forearm! Erik eggs Veer on, gets him up and whips him to a corner. Veer reverses but Erik goes up and over and returns. Veer dodges, comes back and hits his TURBO THESZ PRESS! Veer shouts “NAMASTE!” as he CLUBS Erik,

Mahal tags in, CLUBS then CLOBBERS Erik! Then he sucker punches McIntyre! The ref keeps McIntyre back as Mahal scoops and SLAMS Erik. Tag to Veer, he drops a BIG ax handle, but misses as Erik moves! Veer tries again but misses the jumping elbow drop! The fans rally up as Erik and Veer crawl. Hot tags to Mahal and McIntyre! McIntyre rallies on Mahal, DECKS Shanky for good measure, then CLOBBERS Mahal again! McIntyre goes out ot Belly2Belly Veer! McIntyre returns to the ring, throws hands on Mahal then whips him to a corner. McIntyre runs in but is put on the apron. McIntyre ROCKS Mahal, climbs up top then leaps, but Mahal gets under!

Mahal throat chops McIntyre then tags in Shanky! McIntyre gives Mahal a SPINEBUSTER but Shanky CLUBS McIntyre! Shanky runs at McIntyre in the corner but only gets buckles! McIntyre scoops Shanky for the MICHINOKU DRIVER! Fans fire up with McIntyre as he aims from the corner. The countdown begins, THREE, TWO, ONE, CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre & The Viking Raiders win!

Winners: Drew McIntyre & The Viking Raiders, by pinfall

The Scottish Warrior almost slayed Mahal’s team solo! But will this be the end or only the escalation of the war between former Three Man Band mates?

 

The New Day reunites backstage!

Big E, Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods are all fired up! They’ve missed Big E, and now he gonna cash in! Let’s go! Tonight is the night! But speaking of, this is Kofi’s hometown! The Bean City, babyyyy~! And Kofi’s been there and done that, so what advice does he have? Advice? Bruh, Kofi’s always told Big E that he has everything it takes to be the face of the WWE! And he has everything that it takes to be a great champion! He already knows what to do. But he does look tense, and on game day, you gotta relax. So for old time’s sake… “HEEEY~, WE WANT SOME NEW DAY~!” Big E is feeling great, but will Boston be feeling all of the Power of Positivity?

 

Reggie is running around backstage!

The WWE 24/7 Champion is always being chased by challengers, and he’s squeezing through the small space between wall and truck trailer! But R-Truth cuts him off at the pass! Reggie crawls under, but so does Drew Gulak! They flank Reggie but he loses his jacket to get away! Akira Tozawa shows up, Reggie leaps through some forklifts and around some trunks. Reggie RAMS the trunk into Cedric Alexander! Truth protests Reggie using crates but Reggie runs away. And then Drake Maverick saunters in. Truth says this plan didn’t work. The plan wasn’t the problem. The problem was the execution.

Maverick the apparent mastermind moves on, and Truth says it was Tozawa’s execution that was the problem. Tozawa says that back to Truth and they argue, but will it be back to the drawing board for Operation: Get Reggie?

 

WWE United States Championship Open Challenge: Damian Priest VS Jeff Hardy!

The Archer of Infamy put out an open challenge before the show began, and it seems the Charismatic Enigma answered it! Priest has a match with Sheamus at Extreme Rules, will facing the extreme risktaker prepare him for that battle?

Raw returns to the ring and Hardy makes his entrance. Boston is fired up but Priest is just as excited for this, an idol turns into a rival for the young champion. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if Priest can defeat an icon to make it to the PPV.

But then Sheamus shows up, just to get on Priest’s nerves as he watches from ringside. Hardy also has no love lost for Sheamus and the match resumes. Fans rally up and the two tie up. Hardy headlocks, Priest powers out, but Hardy rams shoulders. Priest rebounds to run Hardy over! Priest runs, Hardy dodges as Priest rolls, and Hardy avoids the arm-drag. Priest avoids the basement dropkick, drags Hardy back up, but Hardy goes for a jawbreaker! Priest tosses that away but Hardy avoids the boot, and then Hardy kicks low! No Twist just yet and the two stand off as Boston cheers. Sheamus gloats that he made these two relevant in their respective feuds with him.

Fans fire up as Hardy and Priest shake hands. They circle, Hardy kicks and clubs Priest but Priest reverses the whip to then elbow Hardy down! Priest brings Hardy back up, whips him to ropes but Hardy dropkicks the legs out! Hardy gets Priest up, atomic drop to leg splitting leg drop, and then the basement dropkick! Hardy calls for the Twist but Priest blocks the kick! Hardy spins back to kick Priest out, but Priest trips Hardy up. Hardy kicks Priest away again but Priest avoids the apron boot. Hardy mule kicks Priest then LEAPS for a flying clothesline! Hardy puts Priest in, Priest gets to a corner and Hardy runs in as fans fire up.

Priest puts Hardy on the outside but Hardy hits back! Priest BOOTS Hardy down, then takes aim for the ROLLING SENTON! Direct hit on Hardy and Sheamus gets out of his seat. Priest dares Sheamus to do something but the Fella just talks trash as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns as Hardy fights Priest away on the top rope. But Priest comes back to BELL CLAP! Priest climbs and stands Hardy up for a SUPER BACK- CROSSBODY! Hardy turns things around on Priest and covers, TWO! Priest survives and Sheamus is fired up seeing how close that was. Hardy and Priest throw hands, fans fire up as things speed up, but Hardy catches Priest to a Russian Leg Sweep! Leg trap cradle, TWO!! Priest narrowly escapes and Hardy is shocked! Hardy gets to a corner, Priest goes to the other. Hardy runs in but Priest BOOTS him down! Priest fires off KICK after KICK, then a ROLLING ELBOW! But Hardy comes back with a SLINGBLADE! Cover, TWO!

Priest goes to a corner, Hardy RAMS a shoulder in and whips. Priest reverses, runs in but into a BOOT! Hardy goes up and drops a SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Another close call and Sheamus is loving this. Priest sits up and sputters but Hardy is ready. Hardy CLUBS Priest, brings him up but Priest ROCKS Hardy with a right! Priest ROCKS Hardy again, storms over and throws hands. Priest winds up but Hardy BOOTS him again! Hardy runs but into a WHEEL KICK from Priest! Cover, TWO! Priest grows frustrated but Hardy’s been around this long for a reason. Priest goes to the corner and climbs up, Hardy hurries over and throws hands!

Hardy climbs up top now, he brings Priest around but Priest throws elbows! Priest hops down to KICK Hardy off the top! Hardy lands in the ring, Priest climbs the ropes and leaps in, for a FLYING LEG LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Hardy survives and Priest grits his teeth. Priest waits on Hardy to stand, choke grip but Hardy spins through to roll to a lateral press! TWO!! Sheamus says that was three but Hardy wants the Twist! Priest slips through to dragon sleeper, THE RECKONING!! Cover, Priest wins!

Winner: Damian Priest, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)

And Sheamus pounces on Priest! Sheamus beats up the champion because he wants to have an even easier time at Extreme Rules! Hardy gets up to get a BROGUE!! Sheamus soaks up the heat from Boston, but this Celtic says he’s here to stay! Sheamus runs at Priest but Priest BOOTS Sheamus first! Sheamus’ mask may be the only thing that saved him from that one! Will the Fella be in for the fight of his life in his second round with Priest?

 

Nikki A.S.H. talks with Rhea Ripley backstage.

After their big win last week over Natalya & Tamina, Nikki wants to come up with a special team celebration. Rhea says this isn’t a good time. Rhea has to focus on Natalya, and they both need to focus on the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships. But then the champions walk in, and Natty tells Nikki not to listen to Rhea. “You two freaks are never going to have these.” Rhea says that’s not the first time she’s been called a freak, and after last week, Natty & Tamina better get used to being called former tag team champions. Natty says Rhea & Nikki have had amazing moments in the WWE. But she and Tamina dominate eras!

Nikki says, “How about I show you right now what I’m capable of?!” Tamina laughs and says she was almost scared. Tamina shoves Nikki and a brawl is on! Referees and Sonya Deville jump in to stop this from happening here! If they want to play like this, there will be another match on top of tonight. Nikki VS Tamina happens NOW! GOOD! Nikki’s music hits and she heads to the ring! Will the Almost Super Hero prove she can fly higher than the Daughter of Superfly?

 

Matt Riddle talks with Randy Orton backstage.

How great would be if Orton became a double champion? Though, how would he wear both titles? Well, okay, one around the waist, but which one? Would it be the WWE Championship? That’s huge, but then the Raw Tag titles have sentimental value. Orton puts on his headphones to tune Riddle out as he goes on about having a title on each shoulder, but then that makes things hard to open doors or give hugs. But that’s a problem for the future. Main thing is, win this match tonight. And don’t worry, Riddle will be ringside the entire time! But then Big E wanders in and pretends he got lost. Big E wants Orton to take it easy. He’s here to wish Orton luck against Lashley tonight, because Big E will be watching very, very closely.

Big E makes sure Orton sees the MITB briefcase, too. Tootles! Oh hey, that was the name of Riddle’s pet chameleon. Tootles was a great listener, a lot like Orton. It makes sense, because they’re both reptiles. Orton goes back to his headphones, but can he keep his focus clear with Bobby Lashley in the way between him and that world title?

 

Nikki A.S.H. w/ Rhea Ripley VS Tamina w/ Natalya!

Raw returns to the ring as Tamina and Natty make their entrance. Tamina holds up her belt and asks Nikki if that’s what she wants. The bell rings and Tamina rushes Nikki and DECKS her! Tamina CLUBS Nikki, talks trash, puts her in a corner and TOSSES her corner to corner! Tamina storms over, stomps Nikki then TOSSES her back the other way! Rhea coaches Nikki as she gets up but Tamina throws heavy hands! Tamina whips Nikki corner to corner, Nikki goes up and over and runs to dropkick a leg out! Nikki fires off forearms but Tamina shoves her away to then CLOBBER her! Nikki writhes, Natty nods but Rhea coaches Nikki more.

Tamina pushes Nikki around, talks trash to the fans cheering the wannabe superhero, but Nikki hits back! Tamina throws hands, snapmares Nikki to a cover, ONE! Tamina wraps on a chinlock and thrashes Nikki around. Nikki flails and endures as Tamina fish hooks her nose. Nikki fights up, fans rally behind her and Rhea encourages them to get louder. Nikki fights up, throws hands and then kicks! Nikki is free, she KICKS Tamina’s leg more, but Tamina DECKS Nikki again! Tamina pushes Nikki around, drops an elbow on her, then grins as she stalks Nikki to ropes. Tamina drags Nikki up, puts her on ropes and pushes her hands into Nikki’s face!

The ref counts so Tamina lets off to scoop and SLAM! Tamina runs but Nikki avoids the elbow drop! Rhea fires up for Nikki as she flounders up to her feet. Natty coaches Tamina but Nikki throws elbows! Nikki KICKS away on the leg again, but Tamina TOSSES Nikki to a corner! Tamina runs in but into BOOTS! Nikki gets around Tamina, runs and SPLASHES in the corner! Nikki keeps going, tilt-o-whirl headscissors puts Tamina in a corner! Nikki fires up and spins to run in and fire off hands! Fans count all the way to 10, then Nikki whips Tamina. Tamina blocks to DECK Nikki again! Tamina gets Nikki up, whips her to a corner, then runs in, into a boot!

Nikki goes up top, catches her breath, but Tamina hurries over first. Nikki gets Tamina for a TORNADO DDT!! Cover, Nikki wins!!

Winner: Nikki A.S.H, by pinfall

Tamina CLOBBERS Nikki because she’s a sore loser! Rhea hurries over but Natty CLOBBERS her from behind! Then they feed Nikki to a SWINGING SLAM into barriers! The WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions aren’t done, either, as the Queen of Harts wants her match with the Nightmare after the break!

 

Rhea Ripley VS Natalya w/ Tamina!

Raw returns as this match is already going, and the two brawl in a corner! Nikki is with the medics in the back so Tamina is the only one ringside. Natty gets the edge, ROCKS Rhea then CLUBS her on the back before a scoop. Rhea slips out and rolls Natty up, TWO! Natty gets the arm but Rhea holds the armbar off by clasping hands. Rhea fights up to a cover, TWO! Natty keeps after the arm but Rhea hooks al eg to turn Natty over for a chinlock! Natty fights up, Rhea hits a headlock takeover but Natty headscissors. Rhea kips free, Natty headlocks and hits a takeover of her own. Natty tells fans to shut up with the cheering for Rhea, but Rhea headscissors. Natty kips up but Rhea kicks low.

Rhea headlocks back, Natty powers her to a corner but Rhea goes up and over. Things speed up, Natty rolls and eggs Rhea on with a “Bitch!” Rhea whips, hurdles, but Natty blocks the hip toss to hit low! “You like that?” Natty rolls Rhea to a lateral press, TWO! Rhea has a ghost pin, TWO! Natty dodges and rolls, throws hands and ranas Rhea! Natty CLUBS Rhea on the back, puts her in a corner and throws hands. Natty SLAMS Rhea’s face into the mat, then she soaks up the heat and tells Boston to kiss this. But Rhea hits back from below with body shots and forearms! Natty CLUBS Rhea, runs, and tilt-o-whirls into a headlock. Rhea blocks the leg sweep to elbow Natty back!

Rhea BOOTS Natty down and Natty regroups with Tamina on the outside. Rhea sees them outside and runs in, but Natty dodges! Rhea dropkicks Tamina into barriers but has a rough landing of hero own! Natty gives Rhea a DISCUS LARIAT! Natty soaks up the heat but the ref has the ring count climbing. Natty drops an elbow on Rhea, then drags her up to put her in the ring. Fans rally for Rhea as Natty gets in. Natty gets the legs, steps through, but Rhea SLAPS her away! No Sharpshooter as Natty falls over and checks her teeth. Natty hurries to get Rhea up and throw her out! Natty then brings Rhea back up and snap suplexes Rhea to the floor!

Natty soaks up the heat again as Boston boos and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Rhea endures a cobra twist! Rhea powers out to arm-drag Natty away, then reels her in for short arm clotheslines! Ripcord and HEADBUTT! Rhea steadies herself, snapmares Natty then runs to basement dropkick! Rhea fires herself up and the fans fire up with her! Rhea drags Natty up off the mat, Natty shoves her but Rhea mule kicks hard! Rhea runs in at the corner but Natty dodges! Rhea hits buckles, Natty rebounds and sits Rhea down! Natty steps on Rhea then comes back to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Natty grows frustrated but she brings Rhea up in a waistlock. Rhea fights the hold, switches, but Natty fights back.

Natty spins but into a BOOT! Rhea reels Natty in, spins her around, SNAP NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Natty survives but Rhea seethes. Rhea stomps Natty in the side, gets the legs, and ties Natty up for the PRISM TRAP! Natty endures the hanging cloverleaf and Tamina coaches her. Natty rolls, only for Rhea to sit on her for a cover! TWO, and Rhea hurries up to run at Natty. Natty gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX Rhea away! Fans boo as Natty gets the legs. Rhea resists, kicks Natty away and Natty bounces off ropes into a roll up! TWO, and Tamina paces. Rhea and Natty get up, Rhea blocks a kick to reel Natty in for a pump handle!

Tamina is on the apron, but here comes NIKKI! Tamina distracts Rhea and Natty runs, but Nikki trips Natty up! The ref missed that, Rhea WRECKS Tamina with a dropkick! Rhea drags Natty up, Natty switches to roll Rhea up! Natty has her feet on the ropes! But Nikki pushes the feet off! Natty is furious with Nikki, but she turns around into a HEADBUTT! PRISM TRAP!! Natty is caught, she TAPS! Rhea wins!!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, by submission

The Almost Super Hero helps her tag partner get even with the Queen of Harts, and now they’re both rolling into that tag title match! But will Natalya & Tamina have a strategy to keep these titles when it’s 2v2?

 

Backstage interview with Charlotte Flair.

Can she explain why Alexa Bliss gave her a creepy doll? Charlotte completely pushes past Sarah, only to see “Charlie” waiting for her on a trunk. Charlotte turns back to Sarah and says, “Here’s a comment for you. I don’t know why that sociopath gave me that doll, but the only give I care about delivering is the one I’m going to give Alexa Bliss at Extreme Rules when I destroy her and Lily. As for… Charlie, or whatever you call it, I’m gonna send it right where it belongs.” Charlotte storms over to a trash can and throws the doll in! Charlotte leaves, but will Charlie find her way back to the Queen again?

 

8 Man Tag: Mansoor, Mustafa Ali & The New Day VS AJ Styles, Omos, Mace & T-Bar!

These teams all ended up losing the Tag Team Turmoil thanks to the last minute addition of The Hurt Business, but there’s plenty of reasons for these four teams to battle! Will the Star of Saudi Arabia, The Beacon and #nDr take the fight to the Phenomenal One and the three mountainous men with him?

Raw returns as the towering predators, Mace & T-Bar, make their entrance, ready to bring the “herd” of weaklings to their slaughterhouse! Then Styles & Omos make their entrance, and Styles starts with Mansoor. The two circle, tie up, and Styles wrenches to a cording hold. But Mansoor uses ropes to throw Styles away! Mansoor runs in and gets a swinging arm-drag! Styles is a bit surprised by the new kid, rushes back in but into a dropkick! Mansoor gets Styles to the corner, RAMS his shoulder in, then tags Kofi. Kofi stomps away to start up the stampede! Woods tags in, he gets his stomps in! Ali wants in but Woods tags Mansoor and Mansoor gets to stampede!

Kofi tags back in, he stomps away on Styles. Woods tags in, he stomps again. Ali still wants in but Mansoor tags first. Ali then tags in and says he gets his turn! Ali brings Styles up but Styles suplexes first! Styles tags T-Bar and T-Bar runs in at Ali. Ali BOOTS, but T-Bar gets mad! Ali dodges, but runs into the CYCLONE BOOT! Tag to Mace, he lines up a shot, but then the giants BOOT the New Day! They DOUBLE HIP TOSS Mansoor into the ring, then watch him fall out. Mace sets up Mansoor, APRON CHOKE SLAM! T-Bar CLOBBERS Ali and shouts, “That’s what you get!” Styles says he likes that and wants more! The four of them can do that, he’s sure of it!

Mace puts Ali in the ring to stomp away then cover, TWO! Mace gets Ali up, Ali throws body shots but Mace back suplexes high and hard! Cover, TWO! Mace drags Ali up, whips him over but Ali crashes and burns! Mace soaks up the heat as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and T-Bar grinds Mansoor down with a chinlock. Mansoor fights up as fans rally, and JAWBREAKERS! But T-Bar anchors a foot, so Mansoor ENZIGIRIS! Styles tags in, he hurries to drag Mansoor away again, and he reaches for Omos. Mansoor enziguris but Styles ducks! Styles talks trash,  but Mansoor ENZIGURIS again! Hot tag to Woods! Kofi tags in right away, Woods dodges Styles to tilt-o-whirl headscissor into a set up, Kofi jumps in! MISSILE DROPKICK LEG SWEEP! Cover, TWO! Kofi whips, Styles reveres but Kofi slips out to swing kick! Kofi climbs, leaps, SPLASH to the back! Styles is down, T-Bar runs in but into a GAMANGIRI!

Woods says GET OVER HERE with the tornado DDT! Mace runs in but is sent back out! Kofi brings Styles up, knees him while Mansoor and Ali DOUBLE DIVE to take out Mace and T-Bar! Styles blocks Trouble in Paradise for an USHIGOROSHI! Cover, Ali breaks it! Mace gets Ali for a SCRAPBUSTER! Mansoor runs in to tilt-o-whirl INVERTED DDT! Mansoor leaps at T-Bar but into a SWINGING TOSS! Mansoor goes flying out of the ring! Woods SUPERKICKS T-Bar! Styles gets up, dodges the clothesline to PELE! Woods is down, Styles gets to his feet but Kofi O’Conner Rolls! TWO, and Ali tags in! Ali elbows Styles away and goes up to FLYING TORNADO DDT!

But Styles ends up in his corner! Omos tags in and Boston fires up! Ali looks at the mountain walking up to him and wants Omos to take it easy. Ali has no beef, but Omos TOSSES Ali around then CLOBBERS him! Omos looms over Ali, brings him up, but Mansoor leaps on for a sleeper! The New Day go after the legs! Omos just shoves Ali away, TOSSES Mansoor off, then drags the New Day up to shove Kofi out and TOSS Woods! Ali turns around into the TWO HAND SLAM DUNK!! Cover, Omos and team win!

Winners: AJ Styles, Omos, Mace & T-Bar, by pinfall

Once again, the colossal Omos conquers mortal men for his team! Will he and Styles be waiting on the other side of the eventual Raw Tag Team Championship match?

 

Backstage interview with the Hurt Business.

MVP wants Lashley to get in the zone but Kevin Patrick asks if Mr. MITB’s presence poses a distraction. MVP answers this by saying, “Absolutely not, Kevin.” Big E isn’t a distraction, he’s an annoyance. Lashley’s focus is on retaining the WWE World Championship at all costs, which means inflicting as much pain and misery as is inhumanely possible. Randy Orton will soon add his name to a growing list of people who have tried to take this title away. Kofi Kingston, Drew McIntyre, and even Goldberg have tried and failed. If Big E wants to cash in and add his name to the list, then that’s the worst career choice he could ever make. Only one man is leaving the WWE Champion, and that is the All Mighty Bobby Lashley!

“BOOOO~!” Big E boos and hisses that sentiment. But Big E’s just playing around, that’s all. Though he’s not playing when he says he completely intends on cashing in his MITB contract. “Have fun. I can’t wait! I can’t wait, Bobby!” Big E is laughing and excited, but who will he be going after once the final bell rings?

 

“Doudrop” Piper Niven VS Eva Marie!

The #EvaLution got #Doudropped last week, before a bell ever rang! The former protégé is looking for even more payback, but will she at least wait until things are official this time?

Raw returns and Eva makes her entrance. The bell rings, Eva dodges Piper and throws forearms and knees! Eva headlocks, thrashes around but Piper powers out to run Eva over! Piper nods and runs but Eva avoids the senton! Cover, ONE! Evan throws forearms, Piper blocks the whip! Piper whips Eva to a corner, runs in but Eva dodges to dribble Piper’s head off buckles! Piper staggers, Eva kicks low and cravats, but Piper wrenches out to HEADBUTT! Eva staggers into the DOUBLE AX HANDLES! Piper drags Eva up and fans fire up as Piper whips Eva to a corner. Piper runs in to SPLASH this time! Eva crawls, Piper looms over her, and Eva wants mercy.

Piper drags Eva up to scoop, but Eva rakes eyes to get free! Eva goes to schoolgirl but Piper isn’t even budging! Piper BACK SENTONS right there! Then runs to BASEMENT SPLASH! Cover, Piper wins!

Winner: Piper Niven, by pinfall

Eva put up a decent fight but she still got #Doudropped! Will Piper continue to do the Dou and maybe dou-minate the Raw Women’s Division?

 

Karrion Kross speaks.

“Hello. My name is Karrion… Kross!” But he’s not telling us anything we don’t already know. Deep down, most of us don’t know who we really are. However, we have ideas of who we’d like to be. No one really finds their true nature until they’re the ones suffering, or inflicting the suffering. Now, the suffering Kross has created has become insatiable. His list of casualties here on Raw continues to grow. If you want to know if there’s an ounce of empathy, or if Kross enjoys every second of the agony, “you tell me.”

You want to know his motives? His desires? His ultimate plan? Well, he might not know the answers, either. Maybe this is all he knows. The only certainty is that he will hurt every single person in this place until there is no one left and he gets what he wants! He isn’t here to be lost in the shuffle. Step by step, he will pulverize everyone around him “like clockwork, until everyone learns to Fall and Pray.”

 

WWE World Championship: Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Randy Orton w/ Matt Riddle!

Plays may have changed but the goal is still the same: be THE man with THE title in WWE! The Chief Hurt Officer won’t let the Viper sink his teeth in but the Apex Predator isn’t going to let the Rocky Mountain Machine claim he’s the top of the food chain! Who comes away with the world title, only to be targeted by Big E?

Raw returns and Lashley makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the WWE Championship is raised, and for the first time in 14 years, Lashley and Orton battle 1v1!

Orton and Lashley circle but Orton bails out to troll the champ. Lashley pursues, Orton slides back into the ring. Lashley pursues again but Orton just slides right back out. MVP tells Lashley to keep cool and not play Orton’s game. But Lashley storms out after Orton, they go around the way and Riddle talks some trash. Lashley tells him to shut up but Orton goes out to attack! Orton bounces Lashley off steps, post, more steps then the barriers! Orton throws EuroUppers, brings Lashley around and bounces him off the announce desk! Orton puts Lashley in the ring, covers, ONE! Orton isn’t bothered by that, he looms over Lashley and drags him back up.

But Lashley RAMS Orton into a corner! And RAMS his shoulder in again and again! Lashley throws hands, runs and RAMS his shoulder in again! Lashley runs but Orton dodges and Lashley POSTS himself! Riddle and the fans are fired up as Orton brings Lashley through ropes! But Lashley fights out to TOSS Orton out of the ring! Orton clutches his leg and hobbles but Lashley goes out after him. Lashley swings, but Orton gets him for a BARRIER BACK SUPLEX! Orton hobbles and runs back in to CLOTHESLINE Lashley into the timekeeper’s area! Orton refreshes the ring count as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns yet again as Lashley is up top and Orton throws hands on him! Orton fires off, the fans fire up and Orton CLUBS away on Lashley’s back! Orton stops to clutch his leg. Orton climbs up, fans fire up with the Viper as he gets Lashley to stand, SUPERPLEX! Both men are down but fans are fired up! MVP coaches Lashley but Orton covers, TWO! Riddle is fired up for Orton but Lashley bails out. A ring count begins as Lashley hobbles around now. Orton goes out and hobbles after Lashley, but Lashley fireman’s carries to POST Orton! Lashley fires up and walks off the pain to get in the ring. Riddle checks on Orton but MVP talks trash and mockingly fans Orton.

Orton slowly gets up as we’re at 7 of 10! Orton gets on the apron at 8 but Lashley is after him! Lashley runs and BLASTS Orton off apron and to barriers! Orton sputters and flops over while the ring count begins again. Lashley paces, Riddle coaches Orton up but Lashley goes out to chase Riddle off. Lashley puts Orton in the ring, slithers in a lot like the Viper, and he aims from the corner. Boston is behind Orton but Lashley runs in, to RAM Orton into the corner! Lashley growls and drags Orton back up for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Lashley clamps onto Orton with a chinlock and squeezes tight! Orton endures as fans continue to rally up.

Orton fights up, throws body shots and elbows over and over until he’s free! But Lashley catches him, only for Orton to throw more elbows. Lashley shoves, Orton comes back but he slips out of the spinebuster to rally with LARIATS! Lashley staggers, Orton fires up and runs in at the corner to clothesline again! Orton climbs and snarls as he rains down fists! The fans count all the way to 9 but Lashley shoves Orton away! Lashley runs into the POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO!! Lashley survives but Orton stalks him to the apron. Orton brings Lashley through the ropes, for the DRAPING DDT! MVP is worried because now Orton is hearing the voices!

Lashley slowly rises, but he denies the RKO! SPEAR!! Cover, TWO!?! Orton survives and shocks Lashley! Boston is thunderous and Lashley roars at Orton! Lashley stands, gets Orton up, but Orton holds off the full nelson! Orton keeps even just half getting on, back and forth between right and left arms! Orton elbows Lashley away, then RKO!! But Orton can’t make the cover before Lashley rolls away! MVP pulls Lashley the rest of the way out and Riddle gets in MVP’s face! The ref wants these two to stand down, but Orton goes out to RKO MVP!! Riddle mocks MVP’s pain and Orton goes back to the ring! Fans are thunderous again but Lashley SPEARS!! Cover, Lashley wins!!

Winner: Bobby Lashley, by pinfall (still WWE World Champion)

MVP plays his role as manager and sacrificial lamb perfectly, but then Lashley goes after Riddle! Lashley throws Riddle out, then stalks RKBRO around the way. Lashley fireman’s carries to POST Riddle! Orton goes to the announce desk, Lashley storms over and brings Orton around to MIGH HIGH SPINEBUSTER Orton through the table! The All Mighty may have hurt himself, though, as the table busting apart comes back to bite him! Lashley hobbles his way into the ring, and here comes BIG E!! The cash-in was promised, and the cash-in is coming! Lashley realizes the situation he’s put himself in now because it’s happening!! After the break.

WWE World Championship Money in the Bank Cash-In: Bobby Lashley VS Big E!

Raw returns once more, Big E wants this to get going but Lashley claims his bad leg is reason enough to not see this through. Big E SLAPS Lashley right across the face! Lashley is pissed and wants this match now, so the bell rings! Lashley tackles Big E and rains down furious fists! Lashley digs his fingers in Big E’s face and then drags Big E up to bump him off buckles. Lashley runs to clothesline, then goes again, but Big E dodges to come back and CHOP BLOCK the bad leg! Big E gets Lashley up, BIG- NO! Lashley slips out of the Ending to SPEAR Big E! Cover, TWO?!? Big E shocks Lashley, and stands right up!

Fans are thunderous, Lashley throws hands and reels Big E in, gut wrench but Big E slips out! Big E scoops, for the BIG ENDING!! Cover, Big E wins!!!

Winner: Big E, by pinfall (NEW WWE World Champion)

The cash-in was called like Babe Ruth’s homers and it came through like ’em, too! Bean Town celebrates with The New Day as they celebrate with Big E, right down to the pyro from the titantron! Lashley hobbles away in anger, will he be back for that belt soon enough? As for Big E, is this only the first day of a bright, shining future?


My Thoughts:

What a great ending to Raw for a great moment in WWE history! But at the same time, of course the change in plans was for this moment to happen. Roman Reigns has a lot going on and Vince isn’t taking that title off Roman, even if it is a cash-in. At the same time, we all kinda needed the New Day back together in full force, so this was a great way of doing that, too. Big E deserves all the “You Deserve It!” chants he’ll be getting from now on, he is now a RawDown Triple Crown, and he can easily carry this title for some time. This could’ve still happened if the Raw Tag Team titles were on the line tonight, but I guess WWE just wanted it to look bigger on paper for Big E’s sake, but also mostly theirs.

But enough cynicism! To the rest of… Oh, well, the rest of this episode was not quite as awesome as the main event story. Charlotte VS Shayna was good but it was definitely just a vehicle to the stories Raw wants to tell. Charlotte got a win because Nia screwed Shayna over and now those two will be having their break-up match for the go-home next week. Then Alexa did show up and had a pretty good promo with Charlotte. Alexa giving Charlotte a custom doll was a nice move, and I feel like “Charlie” should wait until Extreme Rules to pop up again. It won’t so much scare Charlotte but it’ll upset her so that Alexa can at least come close to winning.

“Doudrop” Piper didn’t quite dominate the way I expected/wanted, but she did dominate so that she hopefully puts this Eva feud to bed. Piper should build herself up on the other side of Extreme Rules, feuding with whoever wins out of Shayna VS Nia for some really great in-ring material. We got pretty good stuff out of Rhea, Nikki, Natty and Tamina, but I’m thinking the 2-0 sweep means the champs retain. At the same time, WWE can shrug off some of their criticism by defying their own 50-50 booking math and give us Rhea & Nikki as champs. Either way, Shotzi & Tegan need to roll out on their new super tank to basically remind everyone they have been owed a match for weeks now.

I do like that in the 24/7 Championship scene, Drake Maverick has gone from one of the hapless challengers chasing the champion to being this strategic mind trying to sort out the chaos. I fully expect him to make it so he is the one who wins the title and then laughs at the others as he suddenly has beefy back-up to keep him safe. Priest VS Hardy was a very good title match, but of course Sheamus gets his shots in. Priest stands tall here, but there’s still the go-home that could switch the math. McIntyre teaming with the Viking Raiders could’ve been something big but then it was just McIntyre destroying Mahal’s team. I still feel McIntyre should pursue the US title after Extreme Rules, so maybe he’s in a holding pattern these next couple of weeks.

The 8 Man Tag was a lot of fun, everybody got to do a lot of great stuff, but in the end, Omos stays strong as he just dominates everyone again. I don’t know if the Raw Tag Team Championships are for the go-home now that Lashley will want his title back from Big E, but now with Big E on top, things could really move around. New Day could go after RKBRO and we could see New Day all reign at the same time. Then, if it’s in time for Survivor Series, why keep it at just Big E VS Roman and Kofi-Woods VS Usos? FULL 3v3, The New Day VS The Bloodline, WWE could actually get some pro-wrestling related buzz going for a bit.

My Score: 8.2/10


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Andrew’s G1 Climax 31 FINALS Day Results & Match Ratings: 10.21.2021

Kota Ibushi looks to 3-Peat, Kazuchika Okada looks to win his first G1 in 7 years! Who will win?

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Kota Ibushi looks to 3-Peat, Kazuchika Okada looks to win his first G1 in 7 years! Who will win?

So we get a fairly basic card. A few undercard tags, the semi-main contains Shingo and most of the main players not in the Finals. Jeff Cobb goes from a shot in the Finals to the opening match, that’s a big blow to the ego.

There’s a few interesting threads that can be pulled at, but the major draw is the G1 Climax 31 Finals. So let’s get to it!

Ratings:

  • Ryohei Oiwa & Kosei Fujita vs El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru: Kanemaru wins via Boston Crab @8:40 – **
  • United Empire (Jeff Cobb & Great-O-Khan) vs Toru Yano & Yuji Nagata: Yano wins via Roll-Up @8:29 – **
  • House of Torture (EVIL, SHO & Yujiro Takahashi) w/Dick Togo vs Hirooki Goto, YOSHI-HASHI & Tomohiro Ishii: EVIL wins via Everything is Evil @11:20 – * ½
  • KENTA, Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa & Chase Owens w/Jado vs Togi Makabe, Tomoaki Honma, Tiger Mask IV & Hiroshi Tanahashi: Chase wins via Package Piledriver @10:41 – ** ½
  • 5 Minute UWF Rules Match::Katsuyori Shibata vs Zack Sabre Jr: Time Limit Draw @5:00 – *****
  • TenCozy, Ryusuke Taguchi & Master Wato vs Hiromu Takahashi, BUSHI, SANADA & Shingo Takagi: Shingo wins via Pumping Bomber @12:17 – *** ½
  • G1 Finals: Kota Ibushi vs Kazuchika Okada: Okada wins via Referee Stoppage @25:37 – *** ¼

 

Results:

Ryohei Oiwa & Kosei Fujita vs El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru

Commentary doesn’t even really try to hide the fact that these Young Lions are very early in their careers and have no real chance. They are in this match to learn, build endurance and get experience.

Nothing special in this match, they give the Lions a few flash pinfall attempts but again, we all know better. More just moments of surprise cause the Suzuki-Gun duo were playing with their food. Still far too fresh in their training to show anything more than basics, and all I’ll say is, they didn’t embarrass themselves, so that’s a positive.

United Empire (Jeff Cobb & Great-O-Khan) vs Toru Yano & Yuji Nagata

So one of the most successful teams and singles wrestlers this year, against a clown and a veteran. I mean Nagata is no slouch, but he’s not in a position to be upsetting two rising stars. Maybe Yano pulls off some thievery, but I’m not really intrigued.

Early on we see the usual Yano stuff of shenanigans and turnbuckle pads going missing. Nagata gets tagged in and we get some real wrestling. However, Cobb and Nagata square off outside when they aren’t the legal men, and Yano executes the miraculous shot to the Ding-Ding, and Rolls-Up O-Khan for the win!

This does continue the weird story between O-Khan and Yano, so at least there’s a thread of story, but it does definitely leave Cobb in a weird spot.

House of Torture (EVIL, SHO & Yujiro Takahashi) w/Dick Togo vs Hirooki Goto, YOSHI-HASHI & Tomohiro Ishii

Early on SHO starts with the mind games having a CHAOS towel in the ring and wiping his body with it, and being generally mocking. Things start quick, turnbuckle pads are taken off, people get wrapped into ropes and I suppose this is a more tolerable usage of EVIL. House of Torture can torture the 6 man division with bad wrestling and cliché paint by numbers heel work.

Togo uses the garrot on HASHI, but HASHI and Goto manage to hit GYR on EVIL, but Dick Togo of course gets involved to distract the referee. Chairs lay out the CHOAS members, Everything is EVIL on HASHI and yeah yeah, House wins and challenge for the six mans. Ugh.

KENTA, Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa & Chase Owens w/Jado vs Togi Makabe, Tomoaki Honma, Tiger Mask IV & Hiroshi Tanahashi

So wait, we get all Bullet Club members against the veteran Hontai Squad? I mean Tanahashi has looked extremely mortal lately, and he’s not really bringing a ton of back up. When Makabe is the second best one on your squad, and he’s barely wrestled this year…you gotta wonder.

Makabe starts things off and we can see his back and waist heavily taped. So it looks like Makabe’s part time schedule could have something to do with injuries. Injured or not, Makabe gets the most of Loa, brings in Honma, then Honma eats some offense from Tama, until Honma counters and lands a big suplex. Tiger Mask IV comes in and actually cleans house, it takes a little bit before Tama does the Double Leapfrog Haku Chop to start taking control.

Bullet Club smacks around Tiger Mask until KENTA eats a Tiger Driver (ironic, I’m aware) and then Tanahashi gets tagged in. Tanahashi works to get a measure of revenge on the Bullet Club, but  then we get some spam moments. G.o.D. tries to take out Makabe, but Makabe wipes out G.o.D. easily. Makabe brings in Honma, Honma takes it to Chase Owens, but no avail. A missed Kokeshi, a blocked Brainbuster attempt, and then C Trigger into Package Piledriver gives Chase the win.

Chase looks to be setting up a challenge, but KENTA blindsides Tanahashi with the belt. KENTA and Chase play tug of war a little, Chase tells KENTA he pinned him, KENTA says he doesn’t care, and Chase relents. He says KENTA can get the first shot, but he got next.

5 Minute UWF Rules Match: Katsuyori Shibata vs Zack Sabre Jr

This…this is amazing. Shibata gets his first match in 4 years, and it’s against the most perfect wrestler for Shibata to have a technical and safe exhibition match.

Since its UWF this is usually done in a points system like the old IMPACT Grand Championship. But a 1 round exhibition doesn’t allow for anything beyond a Draw, but this is wonderful. It’s a technical marvel with counters, submissions, references to Inoki’s classic on the ground pose that we saw Great-O-Khan reference back to during the G1. This is just a great moment, and hard to do any real play by play, but it’s a technical marvel. Hell, Shibata looks better than he ever has.

WAIT – After the match Shibata says “Next time I’m in the ring, I will be in my ring gear”. He punctuates the line with a hard flat back bump and a kip up. …Shibata is back? SHIBATA IS BACK?!

TenCozy, Ryusuke Taguchi & Master Wato vs Hiromu Takahashi, BUSHI, SANADA & Shingo Takagi

Taguchi and Hiromu start off with a good bit of comedy, before everyone not named Tenzan starts doing the Mongolian Chops, much to Tenzan’s chagrin. Wato has some nice spots early before LIJ do their wonderful Bum Rush. BUSHI comes in, uses the shirt and then LIJ starts dominating Wato. Wato manages to get a little space and get Kojima in and we get Machine Gun Chops on SANADA in the corner!

Hiromu tries to block it, gets shoved in the corner for his own chops, BUSHI tries to stop it, and gets put in the corner for the Triple Stacker of Chops. Shingo looks, and then drops off the apron and decides he’s just gonna let them play. Shingo does cut off Kojima before he does his signature Elbow, so Shingo didn’t ignore his team, just decided he wasn’t gonna fall into the dumb spot.

Signature spams, LIJ pain train, signature spam again, and then we get solid call backs. Shingo and Tenzan are the last two, Shingo uses Mongolian Chops, Tenzan responds in his own way. Some haymakers thrown, a Headbutt from Tenzan, the attempted Flying Headbutt, but Shingo cuts him off, Pumping Bomber, and Shingo wins!

G1 Finals: Kota Ibushi vs Kazuchika Okada

So they feel each other out early, and have the usual fast pace wild swings that get dodged and end in a small rest moment where they just smile and absorb the energy of the match. Before Ibushi can really get anything going, the arrogance of the Rainmaker returns. Very deliberate shots, perfectly rolling through his Slingshot Senton, and his single foot Dropkick. It’s really interesting to see Okada reverting back to his old self. The 2017 form is further exemplified by Shibata’s return since it helps to bring everyone back to “brighter days”.

Okada goes for his corner Hip Attack, but now Ibushi gets to start a comeback. Dropkick, Roundhouse Kicks, Standing Moonsault and Okada powders. After some fighting on the outside, Okada takes control again and hits a DDT on the ramp, which has Ibushi pretty much out. Okada waits in the ring until about 18, before he decides that’s not how he wants to win. Drags Ibushi in, tries the Money Clip, Ibushi won’t go in comfortably, Okada rocks him, whips him into the ropes, hits the Million Dollar Dropkick, and finally gets the Money Clip sunk in. Okada is in a different aggressive form that we haven’t seen since 2018 when his nearly 2 year title reign ended and he went balloon crazy.

Savage Elbow, Rainmaker Pose, Zoom Out…Wind up…Rainmaker misses and Ibushi returns with his own Lariat turning Okada inside out. Now they stand up for the strike exchange. Okada falls into an old Nakamura trap, where he starts winning the exchange, taunts the challenger and gets rocked. Ibushi grins, hits the Frankensteiner sending Okada to Powder. So now it’s Moonsault time for Ibushi, and lands perfectly on Okada.

Going back inside, Ibushi looks for Kamigoye, Okada blocks and then ducks the Round Kick, goes for a Backslide, but Ibushi rolls through and kicks Okada. Okada then eats a V Trigger and a Kamigoye…but it’s only 2! Okada flips Ibushi over when he attempts another Kamigoye, Double Legged Cradle, but ibushi kicks out. They lay each other out, Ibushi crawls to the top rope, Phoenix Splash and…Ibushi lands weird. He immediately grabs his arm, Red Shoes goes over to Ibushi, and after a few moments Red Shoes calls for the bell.

Okada wins the G1 off of Ibushi missing the Phoenix Splash and possibly dislocating his right arm.

Overall Score: 7.25/10

There’s a dark poetry in the ending to this year’s G1. Starting with Naito’s injury and ending with Ibushi’s injury, just makes this a fairly cursed year which plays into the cursed aspect of this World Heavyweight Championship. In a way, this works out for the best since if this tournament was supposed to make a newer wrestler and ended the same way, there would always be an asterisk. But it’s Okada, he’s a proven commodity and no one will really question his victory. I really appreciated the fact that he always loomed close while Ibushi was struggling with the doctor and through his injury. He held his hand many times, even seemed to tell him it’s fine, we’ll do it correctly 1 more time in the future.

Katsuyori Shibata returns, Kazuchika Okada returns to the a level of prominence by winning the G1 Climax 31 and this is a nice way to remind people of the names that many of the current crop of IWC fans know. New Japan grew quickly because of AJ Styles and Kenny Omega’s Bullet Clubs, but in the last few years we’ve seen many of the names we know fall to the back or go to different companies. This could be a return to form finally for New Japan.

Even if it ended off a failed Phoenix Splash, it could help New Japan rise from the ashes of community favor like a Phoenix.


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Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 10.21.2021

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Bound for Glory is on Saturday! How does IMPACT! hype us up for one of their crowning PPVs of the year?!

We get to see Mickie in an IMPACT ring for the first since 2015, Heath tries to get answers out of Rhino and we’ll probably see a lot of Josh Alexander and Christian Cage fleshing out the last little bits of the World Title match.

Aside from that, do we get anything of note to talk about, or is it just an appetizer for the real show on Saturday?

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Chris Bey & Hikuleo) vs FinJuice: NO CONTEST/Double Pinfall – ***
  • Jordynne Grace & Fallah Bahh vs Tenille Dashwood & John Skyler vs Chelsea Green & Crazzy Steve: Tenille wins via Spotlight Kick – ***
  • Pick Your Poison: Savannah Evans w/Tasha Steelz vs Mickie James: Mickie wins via Mick DDT – *** ¼
  • Alex Zayne vs Trey Miguel: Miguel wins via Meteora – ** ¾

 

Results:

The Insiders Stream on YouTube didn’t start until about 9:00pm, I’m not sure why IMPACT constantly has issues, but YouTube is not a hard platform to utilize. These delays are inane and embarrassing.

Bullet Club (Chris Bey & Hikuleo) vs FinJuice

Bey and Leo try some trickery early, but Finlay keeps pace. When Leo gets back into the match he starts throwing Finlay around a bit, which opens up opportunity for Bey. Bey looks to get flashy, but Finlay manages to get Juice in and Juice comes in hot. He nearly flips Bey out of the ring, takes Leo off the apron and tags in Finlay for some tandem work.

Leo breaks up the pinfall and then throws out Juice. Finlay grabs Bey in a Backbreaker/STO combination but Bey’s feet bump the referee. Leo chokeslams Finlay, puts Bey on top, but it takes the new referee too long to show up and it’s only a two count. We see Hikuleo trying to finish things, while the new referee tries to wake up the original referee. Leo gets double teamed, Juice Rolls Up Leo and then Bey Rolls Up Finlay, both referees count a 3 count for the different pinfalls. So we get a little call back to Beer Money and Motor City Machine Guns if we’re staying within TNA Universe.

This will probably end up a triple threat, unlike the MCMG/Beer Money double pinfall which ended in overtime.

There’s a long segment with Josh Alexander giving us his story. It’s not a bad segment, but the only advantage to the show starting late means I got to rewind for the match and speed through most of this. Alexander is a great story, but I already mostly know it, and would really like to see him win at Bound for Glory. Get the title back on a wrestler on the actual IMPACT roster.

Jordynne Grace & Fallah Bahh vs Tenille Dashwood & John Skyler vs Chelsea Green & Crazzy Steve:

This is a Digital Media Championship preliminary match. I find it interesting that there’s 3 men and 3 women. So instead of one or two for “inclusion” it’s actually an even spread. The way the teams are broken apart is interesting too where it’s Power vs Crazy vs Opportunistic.

The gimmicks actually paid off in the match. Jodynne massacred kids, but then things started to get a little messy. Fallah gets a handle on things, squishes the world, and then looks to BAHHnzai Drop on Tenille but Kaleb gets involved. A little more confusion, Steve hits King Kill 33 on Fallah, but Skyler pulls Steve out of the ring. Tenille hits the Spotlight Kick and the Opportunistic team win because well…there was an opportunity.

Pick Your Poison: Savannah Evans w/Tasha Steelz vs Mickie James

Mickie takes a moment to absorb the accolades from the crowd first, and then we see a quick strategy twist. Savannah looks for a few Haymakers and using her reach to her advantage, where Mickie just finds a few quick strikes and interesting angles to land some offense. Mickie looked to be building some momentum, and then Tasha got involved.

Savannah starts to dominate after the assist from her second. Big Bear Hug in the middle has Savannah just ragdolling Mickie until she can land a few choice Forearms. Mickie fights out, Sole Butts, a few nice attacks and Mickie hits the Avalanche Thesz Press, but only a 2 count. Deonna’s music plays as Savannah kicks out, Mickie is distracted and then we see Savannah lay in some big shots. The Full Nelson Bomb only gets Savannah a 2. Mick Kick rocks Mickie and then Mick DDT for the win. Hardcore Country wins the match.

Deonna walks down, mouths off…actually pushes Mickie…so I’m confused about the no contact clause…but then Rehwoldt shows up behind Mickie and wipes her out.

Alex Zayne vs Trey Miguel

The Sauce against the other guy who can’t speak but likes to try to use food analogies and sucks at it, aka, Trey Miguel. He’s like a Young Will Ospreay with less ability to talk…so no upside at the moment cause Ospreay was pretty awful up until a year or two ago.

So this is just a lot of counters, blocks, Arm Wringers, not much direct offense, just a lot of choreographed spots. This feels like a much slower paced version of a Ricochet/Ospreay match from 2016. Zayne is a more fluid wrestler, and he just makes everything look good. Miguel does a weird Cradled Octopus but Zayne responds with a Handspring Frankensteiner, as an early highlight spot.

Miguel in Ospreay fashion hits the Cheeky Nandos, into the corner stuck Tiger Feint, Meteora and Trey wins.

Thankfully Maclin attacks Trey after the match so I feel generally better. Bullet Club comes out and take out both Maclin and Trey. El Phantasmo just baby faced himself in my house.

Show ends with the usual talking segment hyping the World Title match. Alexander gets a “You Deserve It” from the crowd and portrays himself as the everyman fighting for his boys. Christian’s music hits and Captain Charisma vacuum shows up to stir a pot that doesn’t need to be stirred.

Christian taking the experienced thrives under pressure condescending veteran angle is…annoying. Like I said a few weeks ago, the boxes they are trying to play in, I don’t love. Alexander does flip the script nicely talking about how people classified him as nothing more than a Tag Team guy, and “sounding familiar” strikes a chord with Christian. Small scuffle as Christian tries to snip back, but it’s fairly paint by numbers.

Overall Score: 5/10

Low key? This was a pretty lame episode for an Impact Go Home. The matches weren’t really anything special, with the most happening during Pick Your Poison, but it effectively being a non-issue. The YouTube delay of course hurt my enjoyment of the show, but even without the delay, I don’t really feel like this would’ve registered much higher on my scale.

I am looking forward to Bound for Glory because of who’s in the matches, but this episode didn’t help sell it. Thankfully it’s already sold out, and most people probably decided if they were purchasing it by now.

When it comes down to it, I’m expecting quite a few title changes, even though I’m figuring that Mickie’s involvement is more of a one off to give the rub to younger talent and cement her dominant reign. Alexander I would love to see win the belt and The IInspiration would do wonders and put an immediate spotlight on a division that has floundered behind a lack of real teams and no real direction.

So I’ll see all of you on Saturday for Bound for Glory!


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