Mitchell’s NJPW Battle Autumn Results & Report! (10/26/22)
The TV title tournament continues!
Time for another 15 minutes of fame!
NJPW continues their NJPW World TV Championship Tournament, and Ren Narita has the biggest opportunity of his young career! Will this Young Lion roar against the Stone Pitbull?
- Yuto Nakashima & Kosei Fujita VS Aaron Henare & Gideon Grey; Henare & Grey win.
- Six Man Tag: Alex Zayne, Tiger Mask & David Finlay VS Suzuki-Gun; Zayne, Tiger Mask & Finlay win.
- Hiroshi Tanahashi & Hikuleo VS EVIL & Dick Togo; Tanahashi & Hikuleo win.
- Six Man Tag: Suzuki-Gun VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
- Master Wato & Togi Makabe VS SANADA & Hiromu Takahashi; Sanada & Hiromu win.
- Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS The United Empire; The United Empire wins.
- NJPW World Television Championship Tournament, Opening Round: Toru Yano VS Great-O-Khan; Yano wins and advances.
- NJPW World Television Championship Tournament, Opening Round: Ren Narita VS Tomohiro Ishii; Narita wins and advances.
PLAY BY PLAY
NJPW World Television Championship Tournament, Opening Round: Toru Yano VS Great-O-Khan w/ Gideon Grey!
The Producer loves to entertain, and he can do just that if he wins this tournament and the title! Will the YTR Brand expand into this new division? Or will the Dominator cancel all that here and now?
The Orchestrator, Gideon Grey, gets to give Khan a strong introduction to counteract Yano’s very long one. The fans cheer and chant as this is a cheering allowed event, and the bell rings. Yano rushes over but Khan bails out! Yano dares Khan to get in but Khan pretends he can’t hear him. So Yano unties a buckle pad! Fans cheer, but Khan creeps in and tackles Yano! Khan has a headlock, Yano slips away but Khan gets him down for a mount. Yano moves around, Khan keeps him down, and has a HEAD & ARM TRIANGLE! Yano endures but Khan hooks a leg to make it a cover! TWO!! Yano is still in this but he’s also still in the head & arm!
Khan shifts and hooks the leg again for another cover! TWO!! Khan still has Yano down with the hold! Fans rally but Yano is fading! The ref checks, Khan leans all his weight on Yano, but Yano comes back to life! Yano reaches out for the ROPEBREAK! The fans applaud and Khan lets off slowly. Yano bails out and Khan pursues. Khan taunts Yano, drags him up, and whips him into railing! Yano slumps down and Khan storms up on him. Fans rally, Khan has cameramen move aside, and he whips again. But Yano reverses and pulls the ponytail! Yano grabs tape from under the ring! Yano tapes the ponytail to the railing!
The ring count starts, Yano hurries away at 6 of 20! Khan gets Grey to free him from the railing but we’re at 12 of 20! Khan gets up but Yano throws the pad down on him! Khan is still outside at 15 of 20! Khan flounders up at 17, staggers and slides in at 19! But Yano has the ponytail! The ref reprimands, Yano tells him to shut up! Khan throws body shots but Yano pulls the ponytail! Khan throws more body shots, but Yano still pulls the hair! Khan winds back, Yano ducks, but the haymaker was a feint! Khan gets Yano’s arm, and then uses his ponytail to CHOKE Yano! The ref notices, he reprimands, but Khan lets go at 4.
Yano is on the mat, Khan covers, but the ref says no because of the shenanigans. Fans rally for Yano and Khan is annoyed. Khan drags Yano up, bumps him off the bare buckles, and then CLUBS him! Khan hops up to sit on Yano! Fans applaud the throne! Yano endures as Khan bounces in place. Khan then pulls the arms back for the inverse motorcycle! The ref counts, Khan hops down at 4 and fans rally up again. Khan stands Yano up for Mongolian Chops! And more Mongolian Chops! And then more Mongolian Chops! Cover, TWO! Yano is still in this and fans fire up! Khan drags Yano around by a toehold!
Yano endures, keeps his shoulders off the mat, but Khan drags Yano up to scoop and SLAM! Cover, TWO! Fans rally harder for Yano but Khan mocks the Y T R thumbs. So is it G O K? Khan sits Yano up and tries to make him kiss his boot! Yano throws body shots! Khan knees low, then swings a clothesline, but Yano pulls the ponytail! Khan breaks free, swings but misses, and Yano hits a BELLY2BELLY! Fans fire up for Yano and Yano drags Khan up. Yano whips but Khan reverses! Yano stops himself from hitting bare buckles, then sidesteps to send Khan into them! Roll up, TWO!! Khan survives, he snap suplexes for the PANCAKE! Bridging cover, TWO!
Yano rushes in, M U!! TWO!! Yano hits a fireman’s carry takeover to cover, TWO!! Khan BOOTS Yano down! Fans are thunderous as both men are down! Khan stands and he takes aim, IRON CLAW! Yano breaks free, but Khan blocks the low blow! Khan swings but into a waistlock. Yano avoids Khan’s mule kick and lariat to atomic drop to trip! Yano CATAPULTS Khan into the bare buckles! Yano runs to TACKLE Khan from behind! Cover, TWO!!! Khan survives and Yano can’t believe it! Yano argues with the ref but the count was fair. Khan SPEARS Yano! Both men are down again and fans rally back up!
Yano and Khan rise, and Khan fires up with a big “monster pose” flex! Khan has Yano in the HITSUJIGOROSHI! Khan then scoops for a BACKBREAKER, into the HITSUJIGOROSHI LUNA! Yano endures and fans rally hard as ever, but Khan thrashes Yano around! Khan drags Yano back up, for MARINE! High stack, TWO!!! Yano survives and we’re at 10 minutes left! Khan aims again, and he IRON CLAWS Yano’s face again! Khan drags Yano up, but the lights go out?! Since when was Yano in the House of Torture? The lights come back, and is that THE GREAT MUTA?!?! Yano is down with the ref, and Khan turns around to see the living legend!
Khan shakes his head, he can’t believe what he’s seeing! Khan storms over, and gets GREEN MIST!!! Yano rolls Khan up, and wins!!!
Winner: Toru Yano, by pinfall (advances to the next round)
The Great Muta just helped the Clown Prince?! What in the world?! And then Muta gets in the ring! Fans are thunderous as Yano thanks Muta. But he’s also afraid of Muta as he reaches out. Muta shakes Yano’s hand! Muta then glares at Khan as he writhes with the green mist all over him. Is this Muta’s way of calling out the Dominator?
NJPW World Television Championship Tournament, Opening Round: Ren Narita VS Tomohiro Ishii!
The Son of Strong Style has the biggest opportunity in his young career! Could these 15 minutes of fame be all Ren needs to take over the world? Or will the Stone Pitbull stop Ren’s rise before it begins?
Fans duel already between “NA-RI-TA!” and “I-SHI-I!” The bell rings and the two rush each other! They ram shoulders then Ren fires off forearm after forearm! Ishii fires forearms in return! Ren throws more forearms and he backs Ishii down! Ren runs corner to corner but Ishii follows to clothesline! Ishii whips but Ren reverses, then runs in to BOOT! Ishii staggers, Ren runs, and Ren runs Ishii over! Fans fire up and Ren sits Ishii up to KICK! But Ishii stands right up! Ren throws forearms but Ishii leans into them! Ishii backs Ren down then ROCKS him with an uppercut! Ren ROCKS Ishii back with a forearm!
Ren puts Ishii in a corner and stomps away! Ren digs his boots in, Red Shoes counts, but Ren lets off at 4. Fans rally and duel and Ren waits on Ishii. Ishii sits up and Ren gives him toying kicks. Ren eggs Ishii on and even SLAPS him! And slaps! And slaps! Ishii SLAPS, then CHOPS, ROCKS, repeat! Fans fire up as Ishii just keeps hitting Ren over and over! Ren sits down and Red Shoes has Ishii back up. Ishii drags Ren up and CHOPS him again! Ren snarls so Ishii CHOPS again! Ren eggs Ishii on, Ishii CHOPS, repeat! Ishii CHOPS and Ren starts leaning into them! But then Ishii CHOPS him off his feet! Fans rally as Ishii stands Ren up for another CHOP!
Ishii CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS, but Ren growls and stands his ground! The CHOPS keep going, but they’re getting a little high! Red Shoes backs Ishii off and fans are thunderous! Ren stands and he storms up to Ishii to fire a forearm! And another! And another! Ishii CHOPS Ren back to the corner! Ishii whips corner to corner but Ren reverses. Ishii bounces off the buckles, but he runs into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Fans fire up while both men are down! Ren stirs and goes to the corner. Ishii is in the opposite, and Ren wants Ishii to stand. Ren then runs in to back elbow! Ren reels Ishii in, but Ishii fights the suplex.
Ishii shoves Ren to ropes but Ren ducks the lariat to fire off strikes! Ren knees and HALF HATCHES, with a bridge! TWO! Fans fire up as Ren drags Ishii to his feet. Ren reels Ishii in but Ishii suplexes! Ren fights that, and he wrenches the arm! Ishii fights the takedown, avoids the boot, and then waistlocks. Ren standing switches but Ishii switches back. They switch and switch and switch, Ren throws an elbow! Ren hooks Ishii up in a cobra twist! But Ishii fights, so Ren shifts sides! Fans cheer as Ren has the cobra twist on tight! Ishii endures, fans rally, and Ishii pries free to hip toss Ren down!
Ishii drags Ren up but Ren throws an elbow. Ishii ducks that, ducks the haymaker, and reels Ren in, but Ren fights the back suplex to facelock! Ishii wrenches but Ren ROCKS him! Ishii slips around to SAIDO! But Ren is right up!? And he SAIDOS Ishii!! Fans are thunderous as we pass five minutes! Ren covers, TWO, but Ren gets the ARMBAR! Ishii clasps hands and pushes up. Ishii stacks Ren but Ren keeps one shoulder up. Ishii STOMPS away on Ren’s face! Ren lets Ishii go but he’s right back up! Ren KICKS Ishii right in the chest! Fans are thunderous as Ishii drops to his knees! Ren paces around and wants Ishii to get up.
Ishii sits up and Ren KICKS him again! Ren eggs Ishii on and Ishii sits up, for another KICK! Ishii sits up again, Ren KICKS and KICKS, but Ishii starts frowning. Ren KICKS and KICKS but Ishii CHOPS him! Ren staggers to a corner and fans fire up! Ishii snarls while Ren sputters, and Ishii storms over. Ishii drags Ren up, CHOPS him again, and it’s high! Red Shoes reprimands but Ishii CHOPS and CHOPS, still really high! Ren sits down but Ishii stands him up to CHOP again! Ren sputters as he sits back down. Fans rally and duel, “NA-RI-TA!” “I-SHI-I!” Ren sits up and Ishii drags him up. Ishii reels Ren in but Ren avoids the bomb!
Ishii ducks the roundhouse to GERMAN SUPLEX! Ren gets folded up! Ishii waits on him to sit up, then he runs, but into a WHEEL KICK! Both men are down and fans rally again! Ren rises first, he storms over and he drags Ishii up. Ishii SLAPS Ren! Ren SLAPS Ishii! SLAP, SLAP, SLAP! Ishii SLAPS Ren from all sides, but then Ren SLAPS and SLEEPERS!! Ishii reaches out, but he’s fading! Fans rally, Ishii fights up but Ren squeezes tight! Ishii reaches out, takes some steps, but Ren drags him back! Into an IRON OCTOPUS! Ren pulls on Ishii’s arm but Ishii endures, so Ren shifts to a GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!!!
Fans are thunderous as Ren fires up again! Ren drags Ishii up, whips him to ropes, but Ishii BLASTS Ren with a shoulder tackle! Both men are down again and fans rally up! Ishii rises, Ren is in the corner, and Ishii runs in to clothesline! But Ren just gets Ishii with forearms! Ishii gives Ren boxing elbows! Ren spins, into a BIG forearm! Ishii reels Ren in, for a POWERBOMB! High stack, TWO!!! Ren survives and fans are thunderous! Ishii roars, Ren rises, and Ishii runs, but Ren ducks! Ishii blocks a kick but Ren DECKS him with a forearm! Ren fires up, brings the kneepad down, but runs into a LARIAT!
But Ren’s right back up!? Ren fires palm strikes, but Ishii HEADBUTTS then LARIATS Ren down! Fans are thunderous as Ren rises again! Ishii runs, and he LARIATS Ren down again!! Cover, TWO!?!? Ren survives and shocks everyone! Fans are electric as we hit 10 minutes! Ishii fires up as time is running out, and he drags Ren up. Ishii suplexes, but Ren slips free! Ren hits a FLYING ARMBAR TAKEDOWN! Ishii’s arm is caught and he’s flailing! Ishii manages to clasp hands and move, but Ren pries the grip apart! Ishii endures as it’s a MOUNTED ARMBAR! But Ishii’s foot gets the ROPEBREAK!!
Ren is frustrated but the fans are thunderously behind him! We’re at the two minute warning as Ren KICKS and KICKS and KICKS! Ishii swats a kick to HEADBUTT!! Ren falls and Ishii staggers! Ishii sits Ren up, runs, but Ren ducks the sliding lariat to ENZIGURI! And then NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO!! But Ren keeps the wristlocks! He reels Ishii in but Ishii catches Ren! Ren HEADBUTTS and HEADBUTTS, but Ishii ENZIGURIS! Both men are down and the fans are thunderous again at the ONE minute warning! SLIDING LARIAT!! Cover, TWO!!! Ren survives but Ishii roars! Ishii drags Ren up, suplexes, but Ren knees free!
Ren wrenches, blocks a lariat and ROUNDHOUSES! And then BOOTS! Ishii rebounds, into a NORTHERN LIGHTS!! Bridging cover, REN WINS!!!
Winner: Ren Narita, by pinfall (advances to the next round)
The Son of Strong Style shocks the world with just seconds to spare! Ishii falls to the “Narita Special Number 4,” will he have to look for another route to gold?
As for Narita, fans cheer for him as he gets his first chance to talk on the mic! “Beating Ishii and standing here right now, you know what that means? It’s starting. It has started! Things are changing! I will change NJPW! Just watch me! Got that?” “Hai!” “Got that?!” “Hai!!” “GOT THAT?!” “HAI!!” “OSU!!” The changing of the guard could well be on its way, will the Son of Strong Style lead this new generation to the forefront?
A great event for Battle Autumn, and I did skip a lot again. But I do think it is interesting that only now does the United Empire beat Los Ingobernables de Japon in Six Man Tag. The math could start swaying their way, but who knows how the final showdown goes. But of course we got some great stuff in the NJPW World TV Championship tournament. Yano VS Khan was solid stuff, but The Great Muta showing up to affect the outcome was the biggest thing from that. Muta is surely calling out Khan for some kind of Wrestle Kingdom showdown, and that is great for Khan. He gets to have a high profile match with a living legend, fans are going to love it.
And we got an awesome main event, with Narita truly coming into his own here. He may still be wearing basic gear but that could be how he likes it, and he’s not just some Young Lion anymore. Ren could be a major player in this next wave of NJPW wrestlers, and of course he’d be in the history books as the inaugural NJPW World TV Champion. That title would be a good start for a young star, and he could use that reign to springboard to the other titles.
My Score: 8.7/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (3/25/23)
Will Hobbs is on a Rampage!
The Book of Hobbs adds another chapter!
After seeing his brother, Rey Fenix, being manhandled by the AEW TNT Champion, Penta El Zero Miedo wants after Powerhouse Hobbs! Will there be some miedo in Independence?
- AEW TNT Championship: “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs w/ QTV VS Penta El Zero Miedo w/ Alex Abrahantes; Hobbs wins and retains the title.
- Brody King w/ Julia Hart VS Jake Hager; Brody wins.
- Taya Valkyrie VS Leila Grey w/ Jade Cargill & Mark Sterling; Taya wins.
- The Acclaimed w/ Billy Gunn VS The Kingdom; The Acclaimed win.
PLAY BY PLAY
AEW TNT Championship: “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs w/ QTV VS Penta El Zero Miedo w/ Alex Abrahantes!
Rey Fenix could not write an ending to the Book of Hobbs, and QTV had to add insult to injury by mocking him on their little show. But now the other Lucha Brother takes his shot! Will Penta achieve revenge and glory in one go? Or will this chapter look a lot like the previous?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and one way or another, Saturday is golden!
The bell rings and Penta steps to Hobbs. Fans rally for “CERO! MIEDO!” and Penta pie faces Hobbs. Hobbs choke grips but Penta CHOPS! Hobbs forearms, Penta CHOPS, repeat! They go back and forth, then just fire off fast ‘n’ furious fists! Penta KICKS and KICKS and KICKS! Hobbs hobbles, Penta says it again, but runs into a BODY CHECK! Hobbs asks where Fenix is, then runs, into a SUPERKICK! Penta LARIATS, runs, and DROPKICKS Hobbs out of the ring! Fans rally up for Penta and he builds speed, and DIVES into a forearm! Hobbs drags Penta out to throw more shots, but the ref reprimands.
Harley Cameron vlogs for QTV again as Hobbs POSTS Penta! Fans chant “QT SUCKS!” while Hobbs refreshes the ring count. Hobbs taunts Penta, drags him up and scoops, to SNAKE EYES off the barriers! Penta sputters up, and Hobbs DECKS him! Hobbs mocks Cero Miedo but the ref reprimands. Hobbs taunts Alex, refreshes the count again, and fans rally up. Hobbs drags Penta up to RAM him into more barriers! “Where’s your brother?! Where’s Fenix?!” Hobbs brings Penta around to put him in the ring, and fans boo as Hobbs drops a big ax handle. Cover, TWO! Hobbs is annoyed but he drags Penta back up.
Fans rally, but Hobbs whips Penta into the corner. Penta SUPERKICKS back! Hobbs blocks a boot to YANK Penta into a BACKBREAKER! Fans boo but Hobbs soaks up the heat. Hobbs drags Penta back up, puts him on ropes to CHOKE him, but lets off as the ref counts. QT creeps up to tie Penta’s mask tot he ropes! Fans boo but Hobbs taunts Penta. Penta swipes but Hobbs stomps away! Hobbs CHOKES Penta, the ref counts and Hobbs lets off, and Alex unties the mask for Penta. Hobbs drags Penta up to suplex, stalls, then SLAMS Penta down! Cover, TWO! Penta is still in this but Hobbs stands over him.
Rampage goes picture in picture as Hobbs soaks up the heat. Hobbs taunts Penta, high-fives his team, then goes back to Penta. Penta kicks from below but Hobbs JABS! And JABS! Hobbs toys with Penta, then DECKS him! Penta sits up to throw hands but Hobbs knees low. Hobbs whips Penta hard into the corner! Penta writhes and Hobbs soaks up the heat again. Hobbs taunts Penta, dares him to get up, and then slaps Penta around. Hobbs gets in Penta’s face as he taunts him, but Penta throws forearms! Hobbs knees low, looms over Penta again, and says he’s still gonna be champ. Hobbs then SLAPS Penta down!
Rampage returns to single picture as the fans rally. Hobbs whips but Penta holds ropes to then KKICK back! Penta runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges to SLINGBLADE! Fans fire up as Penta brings Hobbs up and whips. Hobbs reverses, Penta goes up and over, BACKSTABBER! Hobbs writhes, Penta covers, TWO!! Hobbs survives but Penta fires up! The fans are with Penta as he brings Hobbs back around. Penta hooks up one arm, CLUBS away on Hobbs, but Hobbs powers up and out! Hobbs HEADBUTTS Penta, then scoops him! POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO!! Penta survives and fans rally back up. But Hobbs brings down the straps!
Hobbs drags Penta up, but Penta fights the nelson! Hobbs hits low, HEADBUTTS Penta down, then drags Penta around. Hobbs torture racks, but Penta slips out of Town Business to ENZIGURI! And SUPERKICK! “CERO! MIEDO!” SUPERKICK!! Hobbs goes flying out of the ring! Penta builds speed and FLIES! Direct hit at the ramp and Independence is thunderous! Penta fires up but Hobbs shoves him away. Penta stops himself, then baits Hobbs into the steel steps! Fans fire up as Penta goes up the corner! DIVING DOUBLE STOMPS on the apron!! But Penta isn’t done, he goes up the other corner!
“CERO! MIEDO!” DIVING DOUBLE STOMPS in the ring! Cover, TWO!!! Hobbs survives and QT can breathe again! Penta drags Hobbs up but QT has a chair! Alex snatches it! QT chases Alex, but Solo jumps in! Into a SUPERKICK! Penta drags Solo up, tucks him in, FEAR FACTOR!! But Hobbs CLOBBERS Penta with the TNT title!! Fans boo as Hobbs torture racks, to hit TOWN BUSINESS!! Cover, Hobbs wins!
Winner: “Powerhouse” Hobbs, by pinfall (still AEW TNT Champion)
QTV continues to help Hobbs stay on top, and again Alex is in harm’s way! But here comes Fenix! And he has a ring bell hammer!! Hobbs and QT back off, but the chapter has been written. Will anyone be able to stop Hobbs?
BREAKING NEWS for Dynamite!
While Kenny Omega is worried about the Young Bucks’ health, and unsure if he can trust Hangman Page, he has a challenge coming for him that dates back to January! Omega told Jeff Cobb that if he wants the IWGP United States Heavyweight Championship, “do me a favor: don’t do it for Will; don’t do it for The United Empire; do it for the reason that I do it; do it to prove that you are the best. Do it to prove that you follow no one. Jeff Cobb, you want a piece of this? Come find me in America.”
Cobb’s response? “Kenny Omega, you have been dodging me and dodging me and dodging me! And it stops! The last and final warning is not even a warning. I am telling you first hand, I am coming to St. Louis.” The Imperial Unit is a dominant force, and he is going to face Omega next week on Dynamite! Will Cobb take Omega on a Tour of the Island to bring this title back to NJPW? Or will the Best Bout Machine continue to reestablish himself in singles competition?
Ricky Starks is here!
The Absolute said on Dynamite that he’d show up tonight, daring Juice Robinson to do the same. Starks goes right to the ring, gets a mic as the fans chant his name, and says, “I’ll be honest with y’all, I’m not really in the mood for anymore talking. I feel like I’ve done enough of that the past few weeks. Juice Robinson, get your ass out here! I know I said I wanted a challenge, and I’m dressed for the part! So let’s do it! Bring your ass on out here!” Starks throws down the mic and waits, and here comes The Booster!
Robinson has his own mic and tells, “Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, are you calling me out? Are you calling out Rock Hard Juice Robinson right here, right now in Kansas City?! Well if it’s an ass beating you want, say no more. Ask, and you shall receive, sweet boy. It’s an ass kicking you’re gonna get!” Robinson storms down to the ring, but then pulls up short with a big grin. But Starks goes out after him! Starks rips the shirt off of Juice and throws him into the ring! Juice bails out and says “NO NO NO NO NO!” Juice goes out to the crowd and says Starks isn’t getting that here in Kansas City or Independence or wherever this is!
Starks isn’t even getting his ass kicked in St. Louis next week, either! Cuz Juice HATES Missouri! Fans boo but Juice says if you wanna fight Rock hard, you do it when the lights are on bright! “In a city where they still have respect!” If Starks wants it, it’ll be Starks VS Juice in NEW YORK! AEW will return to Long Island soon, will that be an absolute battle?
Team Triple J speaks.
Jay Lethal says, “You are looking at the hardest working men in AEW history. And we prove it week after week as we swim like damn fish upstream just to get a tiny little bit, just to get a tiny little morsel of respect from the AEW roster in the back, and the delusional AEW fans. And for what? Because every time we start to make some strides around here, from around some corner, from under some rock, some damn AEW official shows up to rain on our parade.” Take the beginning of this year, Triple J pinned the shoulders of The Acclaimed “clean” to win the AEW World Tag Team Championships! And then from some corner, Aubrey Edwards rears her ugly head to cost them that!
Jeff Jarrett says that’s right! And just 10 days ago, Aubrey and “Cueball” Bryce and the whole lot screwed Jarrett out of the International Title! The Last Outlaw assures us that this foursome WILL have gold sooner or later. Sonjay Dutt adds that no power can prevent them from becoming champions. But to guarantee one thing, “you all will be calling us champions!” Lethal says they’re scared of that day, and they should be! But will Triple J learn they have to do that fair and square?
Brody King w/ Julia Hart VS Jake Hager!
The big behemoth of the House of Black is here to break the Jericho Appreciation Society’s muscle! Will Brody brutalize Hager? Or will Rock Hard Hager like tonight like he likes that hat?
The bell rings and fans cheer the hat. Brody and Hager stare down, tie up, and go around. Brody pushes Hager back, and Hager shoves back. Brody shoves Hager, Hager runs to RAM Brody, but Brody stays up! Brody runs to RAM Hager, but Hager stays up! They start throwing haymakers! Fans fire up and duel, Hager knees low then runs, but into a BIG forearm! Brody runs but into a BIG forearm! Hager runs, fakes Brody out, but Brody dodges to DOUBLE CHOP! Fans fire up while Hager bails out. Brody pursues and ROCKS Hager with a haymaker! Brody whips Hager into railing! Fans fire up as Brody roars1
But Hager hits back! And he runs Brody to THROW him into barriers! Hager roars and Rampage goes picture in picture.
Hager drags Brody up to whip him into more barriers! Hager lets off to soak up the heat. Hager drags Brody up, CLUBS him, then SMACKS him off the apron! Hager shouts at Brody, drags him up, and ROCKS him with a haymaker. But Brody ROCKS Hager back! Hager CLUBS Brody against the apron, puts Brody in the ring, and stomps a mudhole into the corner. Hager digs his boots in but lets off as the ref counts. Hager digs his knee in now, but lets off again as the ref counts. Hager argues with the ref, but he goes back to Brody. Hager stands Brody up but Brody throws forearms!
The two brawl with body shots and forearms, and Hager gets the edge! Hager fires off in the corner, but lets off as the ref counts. Hager soaks up the heat, puts Brody on ropes and CHOKES him! The ref reprimands and counts, Hager lets off at 4, and Brody sputters. Hager drags Brody up, chicken wings him, but Brody resists the hold. Hager leans on Brody, grinds him down, and he goes after the shoulder as Rampage goes to break.
Rampage returns as Brody whips Hager corner to corner. Hager comes back, but into a BOSS MAN SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Hager survives and Brody checks his teeth while fans fire up. Brody drags Hager up but Hager fights the lift! Hager picks the ankle for the ANKLE LOCK! But Brody turns over to BOOT Hager away. Hager turns around, inot a CORNER SPLASH! Fans bark and hoot with Brody as he goes to the far corner. Brody roars, runs, but Hager avoids the CANNONBALL! Brody hits buckles, falls into the drop zone, and Hager roars, “I LOVE THIS HAT!” Hager goes up, up but gets BOOTS! And a DISCUS LARIAT! Cover, TWO!!
Hager survives, and wait! Anna Jay POSTS Julia! Fans boo, Brody is furious, but Hager rolls Brody up! TWO!! Hager runs back in, but Brody dodges to fireman’s carry and LANDSLIDE!! Cover, Brody wins!
Winner: Brody King, by pinfall
Hager suffers “The All Seeing Eye,” but the JAS has upped things by bringing The Queenslayer in to go after the Lady of the House. Will it be an all out war between these two factions?
Swerve Strickland speaks.
He laughs before he says, “Yo, at this point, I’m really getting sick and tired of you, Keith Lee. So people are wondering when are we gonna end this once and for all. When I damn well please, when I choose to, because I’m the one driving this. You won the battle, you took out my men, so I’m gonna finish this war. And I’ve found an affiliate of mine who is just as twisted and sick in the mind like I am. Strange music, it’s a strange world.” Nine introduces himself, and Swerve says that what Nine says is to bring someone Keith doesn’t expect. Keith took out Trench and Parker, that was one battle. Swerve will win the war. Hoodies up.
Taya Valkyrie VS Leila Grey w/ Jade Cargill & Mark Sterling!
La Wera Loca wants the TBS Championship, but The Baddies want her to stop using the same finishing move as #ThatBitch. Will the papers be served along with an L? Or will Taya just tear it all up?
The bell rings and Taya and Leila talk some smack. Leila says she doesn’t care who Taya is or where she’s been, but Jade is The Baddie. Leila pie faces, then shoves Taya, but Taya smirks. Then she LARIATS Leila down! Fans fire up, Taya whips Leila to ropes, but Leila dodges, and Mark gets on the apron! Sterling shows his Cease & Desist, but Taya just rolls her eyes. But Leila attacks from behind! Fans boo but “That’s how baddies do it!” Taya shoves Leila, blocks the chop and kicks, KNEES and fires off strikes! Taya chicken wings! ROAD TO VALHALLA! Cover, Taya wins!
Winner: Taya Valkyrie, by pinfall
Yeah, that C&D doesn’t mean a thing to Taya. But Sterling gets in the ring cuz he means business! He says that she will take the C&D seriously! Taya ROCKS Sterling, then chicken wings him! Jade is speechless as Sterling takes a ROAD TO VALHALLA!! Jade says it doesn’t matter if Taya uses the same move, she’ll still be champion. But will #ThatBitchShow continue to 55-0? Or will La Wera Loca be the one behind 54-1?
MORE BREAKING NEWS for Dynamite!
On top of Omega VS Cobb for the IWGP United States Heavyweight Championship, “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry starts on his race to become #1 contender as he faces Matt Hardy! Will this Young Pillar set the pace for the race to MJF? Plus, The Blackpool Combat Club fights together as one in a Trios Match against Dalton Castle & The Boys! Will Moxley, Claudio & Yuta start to build their strength in the AEW and ROH Trios Divisions? Then, in a match for the AEW International Championship, Orange Cassidy defends against The Butcher! Will Freshly Squeezed still be a fighting champion after taking on the Superbad Squad’s behemoth?
Mark Henry welcomes us back to Rampage.
“Tonight, The Kingdom faces The Acclaimed. Two accomplished tag teams, let’s see why.” Mike Bennett & Matt Taven are former ROH World Tag Team Champions but Max Caster & Anthony Bowens are former AEW World Tag Team Champions, each with their own strong, homegrown rise to the top. The Acclaimed are fan favorites, The Kingdom not so much. But it’s TIME! For the main event! Will Caster & Bowens drop bars and drop The Kingdom? Or will this be the start of a new rise for Bennett & Taven?
The Acclaimed w/ Billy Gunn VS The Kingdom!
Wait, before the match gets going, the Jericho Appreciation Society’s Matthew Menard & Angelo Parker are joining commentary. They still insist Caster & Bowens are top tier sports… enner-tay-ners! But will all this courting just turn The Acclaimed off?
But of course, Platinum Max has a diss track on deck! “The Acclaimed ’bout to claim another victim. All the fans like, ‘Who the hell is the Kingdom?’ Taven sucks, if I’m being a buck. Mike Bennett is best known for being a cuck! Ay yo, Maria, keep it zipped up. I saw your Playboy and didn’t even get bricked up. I’ll take a shot since you purple marks. I’m a leave ya purple ass with some purple hearts.” Bowens then tells, “KANSAS CITAAAAY~! The Acclaimed have arrived! SCISSOR ME, DADDY ASS~!” And he does! But will The Acclaimed clip The Kingdom from the top of the tag division rankings?
The teams sort out and Caster starts against Mike, and fans sing, “OH~ Scissor Me, Daddy~!” Mike and Caster circle, but Maria wants to scissor finger? Really? Mike gives permission, but then he sucker punches Caster! Mike CHOPS Caster in the corner, keeps him cornered, and CHOPS again! Tag to Taven, feed to a BOOT, then a forearm, then a MISSILE DROPKICK! Taven covers, ONE! Taven pulls Caster’s hair, brings him around and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Mike and he DECKS Bowens! The Kingdom mugs Caster, Mike CHOPS and whips. Caster holds ropes, Bowens tags, and then Caster sunset flips.
Bowens runs in, NECKBREAKER BACKSTABBER COMBO! Bowens drags Mike to a cover, TWO! Bowens stands Mike up to CHOP! And CHOP! Fans fire up and Bowens brings Mike around, but Mike turns things around on Bowens! Bowens fights the lift, slips around, ripcords and NECKBREAKERS! Cover, TWO! Menard breaks the news that The Ocho, Chris Jericho, gives Menard & Parker permission to take The Acclaimed “out on the town” and spend as much “cold hard cash” as it takes. Will The Acclaimed accept that invite? Tag to Caster, he ROCKS Mike, then scoops and SLAMS! Bowens goes up, SCISSOR ME TIMBERS~!
Taven storms in but he gets thrown out of the ring! And The Acclaimed SCISSOR FINGER~! Fans fire up more while Rampage goes picture in picture.
Caster stalks Mike, drags him up, and brings him around to hit a BIG back suplex! Caster drags Mike up again, but Taven trips Bowens of the apron! Mike CHOPS Caster, Caster ROCKS Mike, Taven sends Bowens into steel steps! The CHOPS and haymakers keep going, then Mike kicks low. Mike CHOPS again, but Caster still throws forearms! Caster whips, Mike reverses and Taven trips Caster and Mike UPPERCUTS! Tag to Taven, feed to the GOURD BUSTER! Mike BLINDSIDE ROLLING ELBOWS! Taven covers, TWO! Taven is upset but he was too busy mocking the scissor fingers for a better pin.
Taven CHOPS Caster to ropes, Caster CHOPS back! They CHOP back and forth, faster and faster, then Taven pokes Caster in the eyes! Tag to Mike, he snapmares Caster while the JAS talk about their plans. Not that we can hear… Mike CATAPULTS Caster into a GAMANGIRI! Taven goes up, ELBOW DROP BACKBREAKER COMBO! Mike takes a bow, high-fives his wife, and Taven suplexes Caster. Caster blocks, throws body shots, but Taven knees low! Tag to Mike, the Kingdom double whips Caster to ropes to leap frog and SUPERKICK, then SPEAR! Cover, Bowens breaks it! The ref reprimands and Mike is annoyed, but he stays on Caster.
Mike CHOPS Caster in the corner, then brings him out to BRAINBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Mike was also too busy mocking the scissor fingers, but he tags Taven. The Kingdom mugs Caster and Rampage returns to single picture. Fans rally for The Acclaimed as Taven throws hands. Taven whips, Caster reverses but Taven reverses back to HEEL KICK! Cover, TWO! Caster hangs tough but Mike tags in. The Kingdom mugs Caster, Mike rolls Caster up, TWO! Tag to Taven, the Kingdom mugs Caster more. The Kingdom talks trash on Daddy Ass, “SUCK IT!” Fans boo and Billy gets hot, but Caster fires off on The Kingdom!
Caster runs, but Maria trips her! Mike fireman’s carries, Taven runs, SAMOAN DROP and JUST THE TIP! Mike sucker punches Bowens while Taven covers, TWO!! Mike is annoyed, Billy storms up on Maria! Maria scurries away, Mike warns Billy to leave her alone, but Top Flight is here! Darius & Dante have beef with The Kingdom over ROH, but Mike hurries to the ramp! Billy CLOBBERS Mike!! And tells him “SUCK IT!” Taven argues with the ref, something about Maria’s shoe, but Caster hot tags Bowens! Bowens rallies on Taven, Billy pats Mike’s head. Taven reverse aw hip but Bowens hurdles to fire off a mule kick, front kick, and LEAP FROG FAMOUSER!
Fans fire up, “EVERYONE LOVES THE ACCLAIMED!” Billy sends Mike in for the Five Tool Strike Fest! But Taven rolls Bowens up with tights! TWO!! ROLLING ELBOW!! Bowens fires up, he tags Caster, and THE ARRIVAL sets up the MIC DROP!! Cover, The Acclaimed win!!
Winners: The Acclaimed, by pinfall
Menard says, “We did it!” What? Well, the JAS are happy The Acclaimed won, but will they convince Caster & Bowens to join up? Or will The Acclaimed be their own brand of sports… enner-tay-ners?
A great Rampage, especially for being on a different night. Another great TNT Championship match, though it would seem that again, QT and crew help Hobbs win when Hobbs shouldn’t/doesn’t need that. Sure, it’s standard Heel behavior that, should you have a faction behind you, you use them to cheat. Except it’s also overused in this day and age, as we’ve seen that enough in WWE with The Bloodline, and already see enough of that in AEW with the Jericho Appreciation Society. Hobbs should either see it for himself, or be told by someone else, that he doesn’t need QTV dragging him down. This is definitely a situation of “they need you more than you need them,” because what would QT even be doing if he wasn’t Hobbs’ manager?
Great match from Hager and Brody, and just as I was wondering where the JAS’s female members have been, Anna Jay attacks Julia. Anna VS Julia could be some really good stuff, maybe even give us some form of Mixed Tag before the Trios Championship blow-off. Good promo from Starks in that he didn’t wanna do a promo but fight. And of course Juice uses the typical Heel move of teasing a fight but then backing out of it. April 5th, the Dynamite after the wild weekend in Los Angeles, will surely be a good one with Starks VS Juice on it. And good vignette for Omega VS Cobb to get their promos from earlier in the year. Omega VS Cobb next week could go either way because Omega’s AEW story doesn’t need the US title, and it’d be big if the United Empire started grabbing up belts again.
Good promo from Swerve, nice cameo from Nine, and I do appreciate that Swerve is adding more members to his faction. In fact, depending on who this mystery recruit is, they could be more a replacement for Trench and Parker as, no offense to either guy, they’re just big meat. Trench hasn’t had a debut match yet, so he must still be training. And Parker’s matches always come out as him just mauling his opponent and he isn’t even the best at that. If Swerve finds a guy who is big and talented, that’d be an improvement. Hell, where’s Nick Comoroto? He isn’t palling around with QT right now, make him an Affiliate.
Good squash on Leila Grey from Taya. Of course she’s not gonna stop using her chicken wing facebuster, that was obvious from the moment Sterling mentioned the Cease & Desist. And great main event match from Acclaimed VS Kingdom. Good commentary from Menard and Parker, as well as good tease for an “out on the town” promo with them and The Acclaimed. Good move having Top Flight show up, too, since they’re building a rivalry with The Kingdom on ROH. As I said for the ROH article, Top Flight and The Kingdom should definitely get in on the #ReachForTheSky ladder match to both settle their feud and possibly crown one of them the NEW ROH World Tag Team Champions.
My Score: 8.7/10
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Andrew’s IMPACT Sacrifice Results & Match Ratings: 3.24.2023
Well damn, 24 hours changes everything! Josh is injured and has to vacate the World title! Mickie is also injured but she’s making her announcement during the show. How does IMPACT salvage their two main title pictures at Sacrifice?
Well hot damn, a lot of news popped up in less than 24 hours. So Josh Alexander tore his triceps; so he has to vacate the World Title and he’s being replaced by Steve Maclin in the 6 man match. Mickie James apparently also has an injury, but they are going to turn it into a segment on the show instead of a straight up vacating.
Now from a story perspective this sucks since I loved the Maclin/Alexander segment last night. That’s just me being selfish since I wanted to see that build and Maclin get the big win he deserves. Now he’ll be facing Kushida for the vacated title at Rebellion, and even if Maclin wins it will feel a little flat. Here’s to hoping that when Josh returns from injury they can find a way to bridge the time lost and keep the story going eventually.
.@MeanGiaMiller caught up with @FrankieKazarian and #RichSwann to talk about @Walking_Weapon's unfortunate injury and @SteveMaclin replacing him as their partner TONIGHT at #Sacrifice! #CountdownToSacrifice pic.twitter.com/jdnqk6BLN9
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 24, 2023
- Speedball Mike Bailey vs Jonathan Gresham: Bailey wins via Reverse Figure Four – *** 3/4
- Digital Media Championship: Joe Hendry (c) vs Brian Myers: Hendry retains via Standing Ovation – ***
- Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal & Savannah Evans vs Deonna Purrazzo: Deonna wins via Venus de Milo – *** 1/4
- Kenny King w/Eddie Edwards vs PCO: PCO wins via Straight Right Chair Punch – *** 1/4
- X Division Championship: Lince Dorado vs Trey Miguel (c): Trey retains via Cradle – *
- IMPACT Tag Team Titles: TMDK (Shane Haste & Bad Dude Tito) vs Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) (c): Bullet Club retains via ABC 1-2-Sweet – ****
- Busted Open Match: Bully Ray vs Tommy Dreamer: Bully wins – ** 1/2
- Time Machine (Kushida, Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs Rich Swann, Frankie Kazarian & Steve Maclin: Kushida wins via Hoverboard Lock – ****
Speedball Mike Bailey vs Jonathan Gresham
With the injuries in the main event, I could definitely see one, or both of these guys; fast tracked into the title scene after Rebellion. And I don’t think anyone would really be mad at that.
A quick tit for tat start, no one really gets any advantage. Just a few quick counters and takeover attempts. They both pause to take in chants from the crowd and then lock up again. Collar and Elbow tie up, they don’t release and both roll one another under the rope and out of the ring. There is an early moment where while he’s against the ropes he pokes Speedball in the eye and then apologizes. So things go back to a technical face vs face, but it could be a precursor.
Technical catch wrestling continues. Wrestling one another down, trying to get positions for small submission picks or limb attacks, but nothing is sticking yet. Gresham does manage to an Indian Deathlock, and then a Reverse Figure Four that Gresham conveniently can’t untangle so the referee has to do it and Bailey is pissed. Gresham tries to explain it, but Bailey lights him up, Gresham falls out of the ring, Golden Triangle Moonsault and now the aggression is starting to pick up. Hamstring Kicks and Chops from Bailey, but Gresham baits the attack and trips up Bailey before attacking the left knee with a grin on his face. Bailey is grounded for a while and Gresham keeps trying to twist off his leg. Eventually some Up Kicks break the submission attempt but Gresham wrestles him down again into a Bow and Arrow Trailer Hitch kind of move. Since Bailey has Tanahashi next week, Gresham must be trying to make Bailey’s knees equal. Good Guy Gresham.
Bailey starts stringing some offense together, but a few Low Dropkicks ruins Bailey’s base and causes him to face plant and the offense is going nowhere. Gresham even goes for the pinfall by trying to hyper extend the leg he’s been working on. Strikes continue to trade, Gresham tries to shoot the half but Bailey kicks off, Hamstring Kick again, Gresham Kips Up but clutches the leg a little, a chance for Speedball but Gresham cradles him to the ground and locks in a Figure Four. Speedball eventually rolls to the apron, Gresham tries to continue the stretching but Bailey kicks him into the post, sweeps the leg and Moonsault Double Knees right on Gresham’s head; Bailey went full Billy Kidman with his offense.
Bailey and Gresham continue to jockey for position on the outside, it looks like it might be a double count out. Gresham gets in at 9, Bailey gets in right at the 10 and the referee allows the match to continue. Some quick offense, Tornado Kicks to the corner, Ultima Weapon misses, Gresham goes for the Figure Four again but Speedball reverses it and Gresham taps pretty quick.
Backstage segment with Brian Myers, Moose joins and says he’ll help him beat Hendry – but then Santino shows up! He tells Moose he’s dumb and just stooged himself out, so he’s banning him from ringside. Who would’ve thunk it, the comedy character brings the logic.
Digital Media Championship: Joe Hendry (c) vs Brian Myers
Myers powders after a few early bumps and then Hendry follows him. Hendry is definitely not fighting with “champion’s advantage”, as is the way for babyfaces. Myers tries to fight back on the floor but a Scoop Slam leaves Myers on the receiving end. Hendry has to roll in to reset the 10 count and Myers catches him.
A few quick attacks, Roster Cut attempt but Hendry gets the goozle on. Standing Ovation attempt but Myers slips it, Chop Block, and continues to hammer down on Hendry. Myers with a Falcon Arrow and a bunch of slightly arrogant offense until he goes for the Crossbody, gets caught again, Sack of Shit, and Hendry is back on the offensive. Pop Up Power – no, slips and a Running Spear from Myers for a 2 count. Myers hits the top rope but Hendry cuts him off, Myers pushes him off, launches and Hendry hits the RKO mid move! Throws Myers into the ropes, Standing Ovation, and Hendry retains!
So Mickie addresses her injury, it seems she broke a rib during the tag match. They are allowing Mickie to hold on to the title until Rebellion. Either she defends it in a 3 way versus Jordynne and the winner of the 4 Way at the Multiverse United show or Jordynne will face the winner of the 4 Way for the vacated title.
Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal & Savannah Evans vs Deonna Purrazzo
Deonna starts off angry, Gisele is getting rocked early, they go through a few rope running counter cradles and slides but its just early counter wrestling. Gisele manages to surprise Deonna going for an Armbar, but Deonna counters it, tries the Venus de Milo but Shaw powders. Deonna hits the Baseball Slide, starts beating on Gisele but she slides back in to distract the referee while Savannah clocks Deonna.
Triplicate European Uppercuts from Gisele keep her very comfortably in control. Another distraction to the ref and Savannah swings and connects with Deonna again. Deonna tries to fight from the corner, Gisele grabs Deonna’s feet drapes her across the ropes and drops both knees on Deonna. Gisele drives her knee into Deonna’s shoulder blades and goes for the Chin Lock. Deonna tries to power out, Gisele stifles it a little, but Deonna catches her with a Twisting Neckbreaker. Slow start to the strike exchange but it slowly picks up, Deonna with a beautiful spot of a no look Back Kick right to Gisele’s stomach, Running Knee Lift into the Russian Leg Sweep for 2. Deonna Pump Kick, Gisele Superkick, Deonna bounces off the ropes, Flatliner into Koji Clutch, but Gisele slides back a little to turn it into a pinfall to break the submission.
Both women have wrist control and just swing at each other. Deonna gets the best, one big swing but Gisele ducks it, catches Deonna in Shock and Awe (Backbreaker into Flatliner). Denouement attempt, Deonna grabs at the arm for the Fujiwara attempt but Gisele fights it off. Venus de Milo gets locked in and Deonna holds it a little longer to make a point.
Savannah attacks Deonna afterwards, but Tasha Steelz music hits. Tasha tries to play nice like she’s here to help Savannah, then cheap shots her, fights off Jai with a Tornado DDT kicking off of Savannah. Okurr on Jai and Tasha cleans house and babyfaces herself.
Kenny King w/Eddie Edwards vs PCO
Kenny comes out in an Honor No More shirt, which is a nice way to play into the story.
Eddie tries to get PCO’s attention and then Kenny attacks him right as the bell rings. PCO turns things around shortly, Eddie keeps trying to find angles to give Kenny ambush spots but PCO keeps fighting back. PCO stalks Eddie on the outside and Kenny hits a beautiful Tornillo, then a Scoop Slam as he mocks the whole Frankenstein gimmick. PCO rolls in and Kenny John Woo’s him into the corner and starts Bootwashing his face to talk smack. PCO fires, goozle and just throws Kenny out of the ring.
PCO kicks Kenny from getting back in the ring, looks to do his Senton but “short circuits”. So PCO does a Senton to the wrong side of the ring, crashing but popping right back up, and it apparently helped correct the issue. So Senton onto Kenny, throws him back in, Kenny tries the Eddy Gordo kick but PCO just barrels over him. PCO drapes Kenny in the corner, Codebreaker, into the back of the head Guillotine Leg Drop and now PCO pulls him to the apron.
Here we go, Deanimator attempt – but Eddie cuts him off, PCO kicks him back into the cameras, Kenny gets up and an Iconoclasm bouncing off the apron of the ring! Kenny throws him into the steps, rolls in, things he’s all but won…yet PCO beats the 10 count. “He’s Not Human” chant starts, Frog Splash from Kenny and PCO kicks out and fires at 2. Eddie throws a Kendo stick in the ring to distract the referee from Kenny using a chair. Kenny hits PCO once, PCO shakes it off and has a gameplan. So he actually helps keep the referee distracted to bait in Kenny for another chairshot attempt, but PCO just punches through the chair and knocks out Kenny.
Maclin, Kaz and Rich have a backstage segment. It perfectly shows the story beats of Maclin being annoyed that he put in all this prep and recon on Josh just for the opponent to be flipped. Typical tumultuous team members vibe, but Maclin gets his story beats across beautifully.
Can #RichSwann and @FrankieKazarian trust @SteveMaclin? #Sacrifice pic.twitter.com/TcEZ79IWkC
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 25, 2023
X Division Championship: Lince Dorado vs Trey Miguel (c)
Okay Lince comes out in a bathrobe with some cringe ass “Lucha Lit” gimmick. I…hate it. This is probably the first time ever that I want Trey to win. Cause Dorado is cringe as hell. In a game of them both sucking, I’ll pick the style of trash that I can tolerate more…which is Trey.
Lucha counter wrestling with flips over trips and that stupid ass Mirrored Dropkick Spot. I also don’t love the Lince doing the cat mannerisms, but Puma King and a few others have done that…so I guess its more tolerated in Lucha. This whole match has been a little paint by numbers boring Lucha where the moves are done just to pop the crowd but not to actually accomplish anything.
Diving whatever moves they accomplish nothing. Its really hard for me to care about flippy trash matches. Lince hits 2 of the 3 step Moonsaults, but Trey of course no sells and dodges the third, Tiger Wall Kick, but Trey stumbles a little for the Enzuigiri, Trey also hits a sloppy Outside In Tiger Feint…its just sloppy spots for spots sake. I would probably be more entertained if I had Runescape fired up on a different tab. This is just a waste of space, much like both “wrestlers”.
Lince hits a Avalanche Frankensteiner, into a Shooting Star Press but Trey powders. Lince tries that bounce off the corner with his legs spot, but its sloppy. Another sloppy Tiger Feint from Trey, Slingshot Sunset Bomb for 2. These are just stupid moves for stupid sake. Lince tries to cut off Trey from a rope run with a Big Boot but mostly misses, makes the whole cut off exchange look stupid. Trey with a flash cradle during the cut offs for pinfall. Eww…this was garbage.
IMPACT Tag Team Titles: TMDK (Shane Haste & Bad Dude Tito) vs Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) (c)
It is nice to see a variation of TMDK back together. I also enjoyed Tito called Ace and Bey the “Mini Bullet Club” since they’re the juniors heavyweights.
Tito and Bey start off, Bey is trying to show off his speed, Tito gets across the power though. Tito kinda looks like a young Scott Steiner, and he literally tosses Bey back into his corner. Ace tags in, tries to do something but Tito is just too strong. Haste gets tagged in for some flashy yet effective offense. Ace finds something with the Triangle Victory Roll, Bey blind tag, cheap shot on Tito, Russian Leg Sweep + Low Sweep combination into some Click Click Boom. So Bullet Club is showing very nice Junior style synergy. Haste is very loud and animated, so he’s a great one to have eating the offense. Especially when they do their Back Rake goof spot.
Haste finally maneuvers things to tag Tito in, and Haste hands off Ace to Tito and Tito hits a Standing Blue Thunder Bomb. Tree of Woe, Bey tries to come in to break up the spot but the referee is distract, Tito steps up and stands on the groin, nice homage to Petey Williams. We are in Canada. Announce team almost sets up too much meme fodder, and then Rehwoldt steers into it. Rehwoldt said Bey was trying to rush into to get Tito off…paused for a second, which you know Hannifan gave him a look. So then they just pivot to everyone in TMDK being like Australian Sex Pistols. Very clever misdirection.
The match is fun, Bey gets the hot tag, clocks everyone, Haste tries a Lariat, Bey ducks that, flies onto Tito on the outside, comes back in, Tornado Fameasser for 2. Bullet Club goes for a Torture Rack/Triangle Kick combo, but Haste gets out of it. Tito gets tagged in and he start to look like Steve Williams with the Doctor Bomb for 2. Tito hits a big battering ram Dive on Bey to clear him out. Haste Falcon Arrow, Tito Froggy Splash, but Bey breaks it up.
Tito starts getting ping ponged between the two Juniors, Torture Rack/Triangle Kick combination, for 1-2-3? – no Haste comes in the referee says it was in time to stop the 3 count. Tito charges and a beautifully times Superkick + Spinning Back Heel Kick on Tito. He’s dazed, ABC 1-2-Sweet! Bullet Club retain!
Busted Open Match: Bully Ray vs Tommy Dreamer
This is a First Blood Match for anyone who doesn’t know, and Dreamer comes out with an ECW Championship Belt.
Chair duel to start things, ECW replica belt to the face of Bully Ray. Dreamer grabs a soda from a fan, Muta mist on Bully, tries to shove the can into his skull for early blood but no. Bully crotches Dreamer on the guardrail and then picks a fight with Darren McCarty who’s in the crowd. Darren McCarty was the enforcer for the Detroit Red Wings, so its very old school letting the ex sports guy play. Bully also has a great spot where he pulls out a step ladder, then asks the referee to hold it, does the Jimmy Snuka pose and goes for a Splash and misses. Bully gets to rile up AEW and WWF fans all in one spot. Good old school heat. Corny, but good.
Dreamer gets a bag of tacks, Bully fights off the Piledriver, gets the cheese grater but Dreamer hits the Bionic Elbow as a counter. Cheese grater with Dreamer, Dreamer charges, Bully pulls the referee in the corner, so ref bump. Dreamer eventually makes contact with the cheese grater, but there’s no referee and Bully has his back to the camera, so it slow rolls the result nicely. Good Hands hit the ring, on with a towel to see if he can blot the bleeding before the ref comes to.
Bully hits Tommy with pocket tacks instead of pocket sand. Tries to drive Dreamer’s face into the tacks and then Elbow it further down but Dreamer moves. Dreamer grabs the grater again, Bully tries to beg off, screams he’s sorry and now tries to guilt Tommy with his family is going to see this. Dreamer actually stops and then Bully hits him in the balls. Bully busts open Tommy with the tacks, the Good Hands slide in Tommy as the referee comes to, so the referee only sees Dreamer bleeding. Its a solid old school Hardcore match but it was definitely a little too plodding and corny.
Yuya Uemura tries to make the save, then Darren McCarty jumps the railing. This really has turned into ECW, Bully gets a mic, asks him if he really wants to fight and tells security to let him go. LOL – a literal Hockey Fight. McCarty gets the best of things, Good Hands mug him from behind. Triple Powerbomb McCarty through the table.
Scott D’Amore’s music hits! Scott starts stripping like he’s Ric Flair. Bully calls down Scott, but Scott has backup. He calls Rino, Heath, Gresham, Baily and Joe Hendry. Good Hands try to attack Scott…Scott stops him…and HITS A CANADIAN DESTROYER! Can this lead to a Lethal Lockdown match? Team D’Amore versus Team Bully? Give me that…give me some Lethal Lockdown now!
Time Machine (Kushida, Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs Rich Swann, Frankie Kazarian & Steve Maclin
Shelley and Swann start off, and its just a bit of chain wrestling. They both have Hammerlocks, Headlocks, and just twist around to try and find an angle. Shelley speeds things up a little, Shoulder Tackle, rope run, Swann goes down and Shelley puts on the brakes to sink in a quick STF but Rich grabs the rope. Kaz and Sabin tag in and we get some Battle of the Futures nostalgia.
Back and forth, Up and Over, Sabin with the Arm Drag into the Top Wristlock. Kaz fights through, a little more quick counters and fun stalemate spots as they are all having fun with each other. Kushida tags in and points to Maclin. Kaz slaps Maclin’s chest and we all know Maclin isn’t a fun loving babyface like Kaz and Swann, so the tone should start to change. Kushida starts by starting Grounded ala Inoki vs Ali, then manages to trip up Maclin and keep the mat wrestling going, but Maclin finally gets back to hit feet and can finally use his size and power to his advantage. Shelley blind tag, Time Splitters PK to the Arm combo.
Shelley keeps on the arm that got kicks with the Arm Wringer and then a few quick shots to the damaged arm. Kaz makes the blind tag after Maclin uses the middle rope into Shelley’s throat. Kaz and Rich with a little Hip Toss tandem stuff for a near fall on Shelley. But the tone of Rich and Kaz is definitely much different. Shelley fights his way out of the enemy corner, Time Machine triple team, Single Leg Crab, Camel Clutch, Sliding Dropkick from Sabin onto Rich. Kaz is trying to police too much of Maclin’s motion, typical team that doesn’t get along stuff. Rich driven into Kaz in the corner, triple Dropkicks from all of Time Machine.
Kushida tags in, stares down Maclin and then Maclin picks up and throws Rich to Time Machine because you can tell he’s frustrated getting policed with all of his moves. MCMG hold Rich, Kushida hits the Baseball Slide on the restrained wrestler and Kushida does the little Liger spin around pose/taunt and stares down Maclin. Shelley starts with the joint manipulation, and Swann is just getting torn apart. Swann in the Tree of Woe, Sliding Dropkick to Swann’s face, and then the Triple Baseball Slide. Sabin tags in with the Octopus Hold on Rich which he rolls into a pinfall, but Rich kicks out. You hear Maclin say “All you have to do is tag me bitch” – which proves that Maclin is trying to be a team player in his own way.
Rich fights out of the triple team, and chooses to tag in Kaz. Kaz hot tag, exchanges with Sabin which turns into the Guillotine Leg Drop through the ropes, Kaz is taking out everyone right now. Two Springboard Leg Drops…and now a third as all of the Time Machine offense is stopped. Sabin blind tag though gives Time Machine some momentum. Rich tries to come in, gets rocked, Maclin charges, Sabin grabs him and Tornado DDT sends Maclin to powder. Missile Dropkick/Flatliner on Kaz for 2.
Cradle Shock counter, rolling tag to Rich. Avalanche Headscissors, Rich goes to the top rope, Maclin tags himself in, but Time Machine gets rolling. Dragon Screw from Kushida with the Mutoh pose afterwards. Maclin and Shelley are legal, and going back and forth. Double Arm Breaker from Shelley after Kaz tries to get involved. Maclin gets some offense back in, Caught in the Crosshairs form Maclin, Maclin tags in Kaz, Kaz tags Rich, tandem attacks, Cutter form Rich into a 450…1-2-Kushida Kicks out! Swann goes for Phoenix Splash but misses. Flying Armbar from Kushida, triple Submission spot, but Maclin gets out of his and breaks Kushida’s submission. Maclin stares down Time Machine, hits the ropes and gets eaten alive by tandem attacks.
Time Machine goes for a Double Shiranui Tower, but it gets broken up. Outatime lands on Kaz. Sliced Bread lands on Swann. Tanaka Punch blocked, Maclin eats Shell Shock, Sabin gives Kushida a rolling start to throw him onto Maclin like a Spider Monkey and sink in the Hoverboard Lock. Maclin taps relatively quick, which is strategic to not risk injury.
Overall Score: 7/10
Talk about a show that no one knew what the hell to expect! Josh vacating the belt means that things had to change with fairly short notice. Mickie’s implications of either a Triple threat or she’ll hand over the belt to the winner if she’s not cleared is something you don’t see too often. But when it comes down to the card, the show was relatively good. Trey & Lince was hot garbage, and Busted Open was what we all kind of expected. Was it a bit more entertaining with some of the ECW nods? Sure. But it was just a spectacle and honestly Scott D’Amore hitting the Canadian Destroyer made that all worth it.
OH CANADA! @ScottDAmore CANADIAN DESTROYERS @TheJasonHotch and Windsor EXPLODES! #Sacrifice pic.twitter.com/iqqpiH0tMZ
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 25, 2023
The tag and six man matches were the best stuff on the card, and sets the stage decently well for storylines into Rebellion. I’m not joking though, if we don’t get Team D’Amore vs Team Bully in a Lethal Lockdown…the salt will pour. Don’t let the Canadian Destroyer spot be for naught! Oh – and put the damn belt on Maclin!
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